Navigating the world of royal etiquette can be a terrifying prospect—just ask anyone who has ever been presented to The King or Queen. How low does one curtsy, and when? Are you allowed to ask questions? And which fork gets used first? Britain's leading etiquette expert, William Hanson, tells Marie Claire that the Royal Family is making "micro" changes under King Charles's reign, but Prince William and Princess Kate will continue to modernize royal etiquette for the 21st century.
Hanson, whose new book Just Good Manners, was released May 27, says that in terms of etiquette after Queen Elizabeth's death, "you can see the changes and they are slow changes. These aren't huge great big jumps forward, and they're really micro, but they all add up."
Calling The King "an extrovert in a very British sense of the word compared to Queen Elizabeth," the etiquette expert continues that King Charles is "very interested in what is going on" and "likes meeting people" in a different way than his mother. But "however relaxed The King might be compared to his own mother," Hanson says that "William and Catherine being younger, are able to bridge the gap between what can be seen as a very stuffy institution."
Although they're taking selfies and giving out hugs these days, Hanson points out that the Prince and Princess of Wales are "still toeing the line and having respect."
Ironically, even though the Princess of Wales was criticized for being a "commoner" during the early days of her relationship with Prince William, Hanson says the more reserved princess gives off more of a regal aura than the royals themselves.
"I think William probably comes across as more relatable than Catherine," Hanson says. "He gives a lot more. Catherine is more royal than the members of the royal family, and I think that's good...if they were both like that, it wouldn't work."
The Just Good Manners author adds that like Princess Diana, Prince William "has got that sort of very common touch." Hanson adds, "even though the Prince of Wales comes from a very privileged background, he can cut through and talk to people on whatever level they want to talk to him on."
In terms of specific changes at royal banquets and the like, Hanson— who frequently teaches classes in dining etiquette with The English Manner—says he hasn't seen any big changes just yet. "I was convinced that state banquets would become less grand," he tells Marie Claire. "Some of the table decoration has changed, but I was convinced The King would make it black tie or certainly black tie for political heads of state, but white tie for royal, which is often what the other monarchies in Europe do."
Speaking of European monarchies, Hanson calls them "much more casual" and "so relaxed in comparison" to the Brits. "I think probably if you look at the Spanish royal family, the Dutch royal family, the Swedish royal family, that is the direction that the royal families are going," he says.
With the Prince of Wales telling the press last year that he wants to carry on the monarchy "with maybe a smaller r in the royal," this direction makes perfect sense for the Royal Family. And when it comes to traditions like bowing and curtseying, Hanson says he "wouldn't be surprised" if they fade away for all but the most formal of court occasions when Prince William becomes King.
The etiquette expert also shares that being "touchy feely" with the Royal Family has now become much less shocking than say, when LeBron James "put his sweaty arm round Catherine" after a 2014 NBA game. Even The King has been seen doling out hugs at recent events, although Hanson notes that Queen Camilla was "getting manhandled left, right and center" at a recent Buckingham Palace reception for the National Theatre.
At the end of the day, Hanson says some traditions are meant to stay. "I think there's still something to be said for having a stiff upper lip," he tells Marie Claire.
"I think it's a great protection mechanism. We live in an era where everyone's got to have an opinion on everything...and obviously the Royal Family cannot have an opinion on things other than the flower arrangements and the quality of the food," he says. However, Hanson notes that people from all stations of life could benefit from "actually being able to hold your tongue and not saying something you regret."
