Like two yentas yelling from a Brooklyn stoop as they watch their kids' stickball game comes this response to the surprising news that baseball players use performance-enhancing drugs.
[A] Senate Republican and Democrat on Tuesday announced legislation to limit access to those substances and stiffen criminal penalties for abuse and distribution.
Central to that effort is cracking down on the abuse of human growth hormone, or HGH, a drug for which there is no reliable test, said its sponsor.
The bill by Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., would classify HGH as a "Schedule III" substance, equating it legally with anabolic steroids and bringing it under the watch of the Drug Enforcement Administration.
Not to be outdone:
A second proposal by Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, would make it illegal to sell dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) to anyone under 18. DHEA is a naturally occurring precursor to testosterone and a dietary supplement that some athletes are using as an alternative to illegal anabolic steroids, Grassley said.
So this is the fall out of the much ballyhooed Mitchell Report on performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball.
How about we all breath a collective sigh of who gives a rat's ass. Sure, Grassley's proposal is sane because it protects minors, but Schumer's legislation could send someone away for up to three years. And for what? Because some jackass like Barry Bonds wants an edge? Please. We all knew what Barry was doing, only Britney Spears can get that big, that fast naturally.
It's time to let adults be adults and make adult decisions. If we don't want athletes hopped up on performance-enhancing drugs, then we'll stop buying tickets to games and watching televised sports. When profit margins are at stake, you can bet team owners will institute a rigorous testing regime that closes even the most minor of loopholes. And above all, this is professional baseball's responsibility, not the federal government's.
Until then, enjoy the Roy Hobbs-like homeruns coming this spring to a Little League baseball field near you.
