'Everybody' being in this case 32% of women polled in poll taken on behalf of a fringe television channel. I mean seriously. Who even knew there was a 'Wedding TV Channel'? But there is, and according to their pollsters, Dermot O'Leary is apparently the most marriagable man in Britain. Brad Pitt came second.
Brad must be so pleased, placing him, as that does, only four places ahead of elderly Beatle Paul McCartney. Who in turn is tied with confirmed sex-machine Gordon Brown. Yes, that one. The one who's Prime Minister. Him.
So to clarify, lets have a look at the 'full results'.
1) Dermot O'Leary - 32%
2) Brad Pitt - 21%
3) David Beckham - 12%
4) Prince William - 9%
5) Gordon Brown - 5%
6) Paul McCartney - 5%
7) Frank Lampard - 4%
8) Chris Moyles - 4%
9) Tony Blair - 2%
10) Other - 6%
So, hang on, yes, that adds up to 100 overall, which is the first point I thought we might fall down on. My only question, really - no, that's a lie, I have loads - is: was this a fixed list of men from whom the women had to pick?
Because there would have to be, no? Could it really be that they they given free rein of imagination over ALL the men IN THE WORLD, and asked of all of them - of all the men, all the men in the world - which they would like to marry? I mean, obviously Dermot would still come first, if that was the case - but the rest of them?
No, it must have been a fixed list from which they could choose. That could be the only reason for the Dermot/Brad/Becks top three leading to a sudden and marked drop in quality straight down to a slab of thick balding royalty, and the previously discussed Beatle/PM configuration. And then Frank Lampard.
I sit here with some small satisfaction thinking that Chris Moyles is currently somewhere crying, though slightly relieved of the fact that though he cannot hope to be counted as eligible as a mandolin-strumming divorcee or our dear one-eyed premier, but he is at least more loved than Tony. By a little bit.
And if this WAS a multiple choice list, and these are really the men who made it to the top 9 - then who in the name of all that is male and muscly can be found in the unnamed 'Other'? Because they only got 6% between them. Under this lot. Wedding TV must release the list of the least-marriageable men. It is very important that we know.
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