Summary
A drab game in all honesty, but the major talking point will of course be that penalty and Kevin Miralles disobeying team orders to take the ball off Leighton Baines. It’s all a bit Formula One though isn’t it?
Be great if Mirallas runs in and hijacks Baines's post match interview.
— Anthony Richardson (@AmhRichardson) January 19, 2015
However, whatever you think about it, Mirallas definitely wouldn’t have been substituted had he scored. Cue lots of rumours linking him with the exit now – they’ll mostly be poppycock. He’s got 18 month on his contract too. He’s one of the best players at Everton and without him in the second half, Everton struggled to break West Brom down, even though they had 68% possession. Gareth McAuley and Joleon Lescott were magnificent for West Brom, as was Claudio Yacob screening in front of the back four.
Thanks for your tweets and emails tonight. Helped to make the best of a 0-0. Bye!
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Full-time: Everton 0-0 West Brom
Boos ring out around Goodison Park. No win in six now for Everton, their worst record in the Premier League for four years. Another clean sheet for Tony Pulis. All hail!
0 - WBA failed to hit a shot on target in a Premier League game for the first time since January 1 2012 (also against Everton). Retreat.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) January 19, 2015
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90min+4: Foster claims again. Can’t decide if that was another good take or another bad cross. Probably a bit of both. That should be it.
90min+2: Everton don’t even want to score I bet. Refusing to cross it. Baines airkicks on the edge but recovers. Coleman finally pumps it in. Corner.
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90 min: Four minutes to be added. Promising free-kick right down the side of West Brom’s penalty area, as Dorrans tugs back Baines. He’s booked, but the resulting Baines free-kick is again, shocking. West Brom survive. Three minutes left!
88 min: More Everton pressure. More good West Brom defending.
86 min: Magnificent claim from Foster as Oviedo delivers a dangerous cross. He held it too, not enough keepers do that, and if he hadn’t come for it, I’d suggest Naismith would have got the better of Baird at the back post. Not taking anything away from Lescott or McAuley, that one good cross highlights how bad the rest of Everton’s centres has been in general tonight.
82 min: Getting a bit scrappy here. Coleman and Baines playing like wingers, which could in itself be dangerous.
““If Mirallas had scored, it would all be fine,” paraphrases Gavin Reddit. “But the point is he didn’t score. That’s why you have a designated penalty-taker. He sought glory for himself, which is anathema in team sports, surely, unless you’re Cristiano Ronaldo. I’m only bitter because Baines is on my Fantasy team.”
80 min: Fancy a Barkley long-ranger to win this. Although since Everton brought off Besic, West Brom have had a lot more room in midfield. In a game that is supposed to be cagey near the bottom of the league, both teams appear to be ‘going for it.’
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78 min: A couple of very strange substitutions. Anichebe, who has had a good night, comes off for Ideye. Besic, who has just been booked for bringing down Sessegnon, is brought off for Kone, with Barkley slotting back into central midfield with Barry. I’m not a lipreader, but I don’t think Everton fans are very happy with that change.
“There’s actually a little known clause in Gareth Barry’s contract that no matter how slow and old he is, or how poorly he plays he cannot be substituted,” quips Duncan Smith.
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75 min: Lukaku wastes another chance, this time on his right, following the best football of the night from Everton. Stones finds Barkley on the edge with a clever pass, who shifts it right to the oncoming Coleman. The first time pass inside finds Lukaku, who skews it wide. For a £28m player, he’s awfully one-footed. Devastating on his left, if he gets the chance.
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73 min: Gareth Mueller has kindly written in: “I have been to see Bosnia play a couple of times and have watched countless Bosnia matches on TV due to marrying into a Bosnian family. And I have to say Besic is a marvellous player, he’s the sort of hard-as-nails-ballet-dancer, that is just as likely to pull of a Pjanic-esque piroret as 2 foot someone where completely unwarrented.
“He has been an understudy and central midfield partner of Pjanic for the past year or two (what a player to understudy) and has really developed while playing in the national team with him. I was so pleased to see him come to Everton, and am sure he is going to be a hit in the Premier League. Martinez clearly feels the same. He is one to watch.”
I’m inclined to agree with you Gareth – was Bosnia’s stand out player at the World Cup in my opinion. Certainly not the finished article – his decision making is perhaps why Everton are struggling to break West Brom down here – but he’s only 22 and cost just £4m.
71 min: Sessegnon and Anichebe combine well. The Nigerian international swivelling well on the byline, crossing with his left. The ball goes through Stones’s legs but Jagielka is there to clear. A good cross, but with Berahino off and Anichebe working the ‘channels’, do West Brom have anyone willing to get into the box?
69 min: Lukaku has had a poor second half. He has slowed up counter-attacks, wasted the one opportunity he has had, and is needlessly caught offside here. Meanwhile Pulis makes a second change: Berahino off (!) and Dorrans on.
@michaelbutler18 I'd like to think Sly's speech went something like this - http://t.co/ggCVp5Ztwb
— Jason Phillips (@eastern14) January 19, 2015
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67 min: “For those of us in the USA who are unable to hear our compatriot Sylvester Stallone’s words (sic) of wisdom (sic), could you provide a summary?” pleads Peter McMurry. “Did he yell “yo Everton!””
That I cannot confirm Peter. However, here he is trying to speak Scouse.
65 min: Substitution for West Brom. Sessegnon on for Morrison. West Brom have to get out of their own half here, they can’t survive 25 more minutes of this.
63 min: I would estimate that West Brom have dealt with nearly 20 crosses/corners into their box since the start of the second half. That said, not a single header on goal. Hats off to Lescott and McAuley in that regard.
60 min: Everton with a series of corners, the last of which involves some WWE-style wrestling: Yacob on Naismith. Michael Oliver has a word, which has absolutely no bearing on Yacob’s treatment of the Scot when the ball is eventually delivered. Should be a penalty.
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58 min: Free-kick to Everton on the edge. Barry was pulled back by Morrison. Who is going to take it? Don’t worry, Mirallas isn’t on the field. Barkley steps up … driven low and behind for a corner. Cleared by McAuley.
57 min: Lukaku makes his first incisive run of the night, and shrugs Lescott off, before making a bee-line for goal. However, he is so determined to cut back in on his favoured left-foot that he allows West Brom defenders to recover and block.
54 min: Berahino has switched to the right, with Brunt now on the left. Perhaps Pulis thinks he won’t have to do as much tracking back with Oviedo now on Everton’s left. The game is developing into a pattern. Everton attack. West Brom defend in numbers. Everton cross. West Brom clear. West Brom counter-attack. Everton foul. Everton win ball back. Repeat.
51 min: Oviedo is the latest man to halt a West Brom counter-attack, and he finds himself in the book. He’s been on the field six minutes.
“A few games back in an Arsenal game, Santi heading over to take the penalty and Sanchez got there first - and missed. Reminds me of that,” reminds Mary Underwood. “But Wenger didn’t yank him and he went on to score later in the second half.”
48 min: West Brom counter, with Berahino sprinting into a lot of space on this left-hand side. Barry unceremoniously brings him down. Yellow card, as obvious as you’re ever likely to see. No player has earned more bookings in the Premier League than Barry.
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46 min: Looks like a like-for-like change on Everton’s left there. Everton starting strongly. The crowd is revved up. Sylvestor must have delivered a rousing speech. We’ll never know (we might know, soon).
Peeeep. Peeep. We’re off again.
Mirallas has been substituted. Bryan Oviedo coming on. Presumably it has kicked off in the dressing room. GNev just described disobeying team orders as the worst thing you can do, “worse than going studs up and breaking someone’s leg.” Erm, no. If Mirallas had scored, it would all be fine.
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I am devastated to announce: there was absolutely no coverage of Sylvester. Instead, here is a football chant about Everton goalkeeper Joel. I can’t remember if I have made this up in my head, or if this actually exists. I think it’s the latter
(To the tune of Spandau Ballet’s Gold)
Joel! (Joel – whispered)
He’s the best keeper in goal
We’ve got the power to know, he’s indestructible
Always believe innnn … believe in Joel!
Repeat.
Here’s hoping GNev and co don’t bother to analyse that actual football, but instead give an all-singing/dancing breakdown of Sylvester Stallone’s half-time speech, which for those of you that don’t know, is due to occur on the pitch at Goodison Park.
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Half-time: Everton 0-0 West Brom
And that’s your lot. Frustrating for Everton, as that penalty aside, West Brom have looked solid at the back, if a little unambitious going forward. I smell a 1-0, but it’s hard to know which way, because THAT IS THE FUTURE.
PENALTY MISSED!
Mirallas crashes the ball against the bottom of the outside of the left-hand post, with the ball spinning away to safety. Groans fill Goodison Park. Martinez must be livid, Baines has scored 15 out of 16 penalties in the Premier League. Sylvester presumably readying a Hayemaker in the Everton dressing room for the Belgian.
The guy's got 15 outta 16 deathstrikes. That's a flawless record. You can't take the kick off him. #SoccerCandyDeathstrikeFail
— Soccer Guy (@usasoccerguy) January 19, 2015
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Penalty to Everton!!!
43 min: Lukaku does his best Anichebe impression to chest the ball down in the box. Lescott nips in to try and steal it, but misses the ball with his foot, stumbles, and hits the ball clean with his forearm. He didn’t mean it, but that’s a definite penalty. Baines will surely take this?! No, Mirallas wrestles the ball of him! Baines doesn’t look best pleased, but eventually retreats. Mirallas to take…
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40 min: Anichebe, with one of the most delicious chest trap-passes you’re ever seen, brings the ball out of the sky but Gardner flashes his shot wide. That was a half-chance. West Brom are yet to hit the target.
37 min: “When he was banging in 18 or so goals at West Brom, I thought get him back to Chelsea to replace the woeful Torres, or Ba… FAST,” writes Paul Kerton. “But do you know what, I think Jose was right. Lukaku should have been Drogba-light, but actually he is light-weight. I hesitate to say useless. Once his 28million quid signing was secured, he has switched off. He is useless at holding up the ball, his first touch is often woeful, he ain’t fast and his goalscoring days seem to be behind him. But then after a sterling performance last year, Everton look like someone has taken their batteries out, or at least switched off their sat nav. Boring football.”
It’s true, neither team have yet to make a meaningful save.
“I wonder if Sly’s appearance will save the day?”, ponders Des Browning.
DON’T WORRY GUYS, HALF-TIME IS JUST EIGHT MINUTES AWAY!
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34 min: Meanwhile Lescott, another Everton old boy, is doing a fine job at the back and makes a magnificent block to stop Lukaku’s goalbound shot. The Belgian striker turned Gareth McAuley and unloaded on his right foot, but Lescott got out to him extremely quickly.
31 min: Anichebe, back at the club where he started his career, is doing an excellent job of helping West Brom get up the pitch. He is playing almost solely with his back to goal, but Stones and Jagielka can’t get round him.
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28 min: Lukaku is dropping deeper and deeper to receive the ball, not what he wants to do. He’ll probably let Roberto Martinez know about that then. An Everton cross is delivered into the box, and there’s nobody there – Lukaku still loitering in midfield. The Goodison Park crowd is growing restless.
26 min: West Brom break forward and work it down the left with Berahino. Cross comes in and it comes all the way through to Gardner who jinks inside and unleashes a fierce left-foot shot. Saved by Joel! Oh wait, Gardner was offside, but Joel wasn’t to know that and palmed it clear from only eight yards out. Good save.
22 min: Baines drives forward with the ball, and is halted on the edge by a combination of Morrison and Gardner. Foul. A dangerous position for Baines or Mirrallas. This is not unlike the position that Mirallas scored from against West Ham last week in the FA Cup.
Mirallas curls it goalwards, but Foster is able to catch it.
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21 min: Besic is a strange kind of player. His role is as a midfield destroyer, but he’s got a trick or two up his sleeve, and Cruyff-turns Lescott on the right. He’s also got a sleeve of tattoos, and one on his neck … with his name.
Besic giving @Harry_Styles & @Louis_Tomlinson a run for their money with 'worst tattoo's possible' #onedirection pic.twitter.com/iFdVwD2xGx
— nick (@YidNick) November 30, 2014
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19 min: First signs of West Brom coming to life. Anichebe uses his power to hold Stones off, before laying off to Morrison who has acres of space to run into. Wisdom makes an excellent run off his flank into the box but his first touch is poor. If only the right back had got that right, he would have had a clear passage to goal.
16 min: Yacob, Morrison and Gardner are doing good job of shielding any passes into Lukaku but Mirallas but Lukaku play a nice one-two on the edge – the latter with his back to goal. Yacob is just able to get a toe on it. Cleared.
13 min: Gardner clatters into the back of Barkley with most of the Everton faithful calling for a card. Michael Oliver has a quick word, nothing more. Barkley gets to his feet. He’s OK.
@michaelbutler18 Big Tony's "G" pose is undermined by what looks to be a giant Casio watch, since Easy-E clearly prefers analogue. #class
— ParlourGames (@ParlourGamesN5) January 19, 2015
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11 min: Baines and Barkley looking like Everton’s chief threat down this left. Nice interplay ending with the latter just inches from latching onto a through ball.
9 min: Round of applause goes up by the West Brom fans in the ninth minute in honour of Jeff Astle, the club’s famed No9 who died 13 years ago today. He scored in that 1968 final remember.
8 min: Everton having all the early running here. Baines tries from range from about 30 yards out but it’s patted down by Foster.
6 min: West Brom are sitting very deep, which allows both Baines and Coleman to play their stuff high up the pitch. Dangerous tactic, especially with Lukaku lurking in the middle. He’ll thrive on it being a game of crosses and knock-downs.
4 min: Naismith has just been described as “an honest professional”. Very irksome, that. He’s one of a number of British players (Milner, Henderson, etc) that are actually just very good, and happen to work hard defensively.
2 min: Barkley already managing to find pockets of space in front of the West Brom back four. West Brom haven’t had a kick in the first 90 seconds here.
Peeep peeeep. And we’re off.
The teams are out, Sylvester has taken his seat. Let’s do this.
If Pulis is beaming, it’s good to see Saido Berahino happy again – I would suggest that despite being an excellent performer this season, a move to a bigger club would stunt his development. The young striker refused to celebrate despite scoring four goals in West Brom’s 7-0 win over Gateshead in the FA Cup third-round match on New Year’s Day. He was all smiles though when he got the winner against Hull. West Brom have struggled to score away from home this season – just six times in 10 league away games – you would expect Berahino to be pivotal if West Brom are to win tonight to leapfrog Everton in the table. They’ve won just once at Goodison Park in the Premier League.
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West Brom might only be two points from those in the relegation zone, but it is certainly encouraging that in Tony Pulis’s first game in charge against Hull, they came away with a clean sheet. Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher have been discussing whether Tony Pulis’s task is harder this season than last year when he was at Palace. I would argue: no. You might also like to cast you eye on Pulis’s pose here. Face: unerringly happy, body/arms: pure G.
West Brom fans: what have you made of Big Tony so far? And what on earth do you make of that pose?
Keep an eye out for Dave O’Donnell, Rocky’s promoter who appears about 30 seconds in. Crikey.
Tonight’s teams:
Everton 4-2-3-1: Robles, Coleman, Stones, Jagielka, Baines, Besic, Barry, Mirallas, Barkley, Naismith, Lukaku. Subs: Hibbert, Oviedo, Kone, Garbutt, Alcaraz, McAleny, Griffiths.
West Brom 4-4-2: Foster, Wisdom, McAuley, Lescott, Baird, Morrison, Yacob, Gardner, Brunt, Berahino, Anichebe. Subs: Ideye, Myhill, Pocognoli, Dorrans, Dawson, Sessegnon, Samaras.
Referee: Michael Oliver (Northumberland)
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Preamble
Sometimes a preamble isn’t necessary. Sometimes, a lowly MBM hack doesn’t need to point out the teams’ dismal recent runs of form (Everton: DLLLLWLDL, West Brom: WDLLLWSLLLL) or lamely riffing on the fact that Romelu Lukaku used to be better at a couple of years ago at West Brom when he wasn’t a £28m striker, or alluding to notable previous encounters (In 1968, two months after Alan Ball scored four excellent goals in Everton’s 6-2 thrashing of West Brom at the Hawthorns, the Midlands team beat Everton 1-0 in the FA Cup final, thanks to a wonderstrike by West Brom hero Jeff Astle, which you can see in this video that is so excellent in quality and colour and nostalgia …
… that one can barely believe it is real). Nope, sometimes all one needs to do to gee up the masses for a spot of Monday night Premier League action is a tweet. Because while the 100,000-strong crowd at Wembley in 1968 had to put up with The Band of the Royal Marines at half-time, Everton are going to be treated to a speech by real-life Rocky and his adorable sidekick/enemy/I’m not sure Tony Bellew during the interval. Look!
Remember to stay in your seats at HT to star alongside @TheSlyStallone and @TonyBellew in the new 'Rocky' film. #EFC pic.twitter.com/RrMpBcdOxu
— Everton (@Everton) January 19, 2015
Yep, that’s right folks. Sylvester is in town, and he’s brought his shirt and trilby and everything, just so he can fit right in with the Goodison Park faithful. He’s not doing this because this is a televised event that will give maximum exposure to an upcoming film that he wants to promote. He’s doing it for the love of the game. He’s doing it because the Premier League Is The Best League In The World©. He’s the people’s champion. And this is the people’s club, apparently.
Kick-off: 8pm GMT
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