Andy Hunter has filed his match report from the Hill Dickinson, so that’s my cue to go and find a packet of crisps. Thanks for your company, correspondence and firm views on fouls at corners. Van de Ven’s finishing, plus some fine saves from Vicario and the odd blind eye from the refs, has seen to it that the Spurs go marching on.
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“Everyone showed great character,” Van de Ven adds, as his fellow centre-back Kevin Danso presents him with the Player of the Match award. “Top performance from the team.”
The first of these points is true.
Micky van de Ven now has five goals this season. “Crazy,” he says. “Don’t think I’ve ever scored two in a game before.”
Back to the mailbag. “Yo, Timmer,” says Dan from Toronto. “Have you ever heard a more disappointed response to a beautifully worked goal than when Spurs just scored to go up 3-0? No you have not. Unless it was Andy Gray howling ‘Ohhh Nohhhh’ when Paul Stalteri scored late on via a spectacular counter attack to give Spurs a famous 4-3 win at West Ham.
“It’s on the world TV feed that supplies Fubo TV here in Canada. And it’s laughably lame. Jim Beglin might be ex-Liverpool, but he’s constantly pandering to anything Liverpool. Including Everton. Spurs can’t win.”
They’ll get over it.
The upshot is that Everton are 14th with 11 points, wedged between Brighton and Leeds. And Spurs are third, not second, as some ill-informed person may have suggested. They have 17 points, the same as Sunderland, one fewer than Bournemouth. Man City are fifth, Man United sixth, Liverpool seventh and Chelsea ninth, with Villa now rocketing up to eighth. A proper table.
FULL TIME! Everton 0-3 Spurs (Van de Ven 2, Sarr)
And that’s that. It’s not fair, but in a game of countless corners, Spurs were clinical and Everton were not. So Everton lose for the first time at their new home and Spurs extend their lead at the top of the away table. Thomas Frank has four away wins this season, only one fewer than Ange managed in the whole of last season.
90+2 min Nothing happening for Everton except the xG, which, according to The Athletic, makes it Everton 1.53-2.08 Spurs.
This was mainly down to Richarlison, who was the target of a fine cross from the right. He could have gone for goal, but he saw Sarr in the middle and squared it, one header acting as the assist for another. So it’s all over bar the added time, which will be five minutes.
GOAL! Everton 0-3 Spurs (Sarr 89)
Game over!
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88 min Chance? No, offside against Pape Sarr, who ran through and played a cutback. Serves him right for coming on when I wasn’t looking. But then …
87 min Possession for the whole game is now 53-47 to Everton, after being 63-37 to Spurs for much of the first half. The tables have turned, yet the scoreboard has refused to budge.
86 min Everton sub: Moyes sends on Alcaraz for Gueye, a forward for a midfielder. May as well.
86 min And now Richarlison charges down a cross from Garner. He’s making his mark on his own derby.
84 min And now Richarlison is back in his own box, heading a corner away.
83 min Spurs flicker on the couner, only for Bergvall’s through ball to be scuffed, so it can’t reach Richarlison.
80 min Grealish wins a corner with sheer doggedness, but Everton can’t do anything with it … except, eventually, winning another corner.
79 min Chance! A good cross from Dewsbury-Hall on the left turns into a free header for Röhl, but he can’t keep it down.
76 min Grealish, still the main man for Everton, starts a very Man City move – jinking, threading a short perpendicular ball to Dewsbury-Hall, who slips it on to Thierno Barry … but again Vicario is alert, gathering the ball as it skids on the sodden turf.
74 min Block! Palhinha’s turn to save the day as a flick-on by Tarkowski sets up a crisp shot from someone, possibly Gueye.
73 min Save! Ndiaye, supplied by Grealish, takes a low shot through the crowd, and Vicario does very well to see it, let alone stop it.
72 min As Everton play out from the back, Grealish is fouled by Bentancur. Grealish feels it’s a yellow card – and it is, for him, as he makes his point rather too loudly.
71 min As the fans get soaked, the game gets scrappy.
69 min Everton want a penalty as Tarkowski goes down in the box, but the refs don’t agree. “Would have been very soft,” says Gary Nev.
67 min David Moyes sees Thomas Frank’s subs and brings on two of his own – Barry for Beto and Röhl for O’Brien, so Garner moves to right back, where he’s less likely to see yellow again.
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66 min Spurs, as it stands, are third, on goal difference ahead of the mighty Sunderland.
65 min Save! Richarlison breaks free and finds himself one on one with his old mate Pickford. He hits the shot hard but straight at Pickford, who stands up and fends it off.
62 min The first subs come from Thomas Frank, who may have been alarmed by Everton’s dominance in the first 15 minutes of this half. He sends on Richarlison for Kolo Muani and Bergvall for Simons, who remains rather anonymous.
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61 min It’s the 11th corner of the match (Everton 4, Spurs 7) and nothing comes of it as Kudus goes a bit too long.
60 min It’s Kudus … and kudos to the wall, which does its job and sends the ball off for a corner.
60 min The kick is dead centre, Porro or Kudus to take.
58 min Spurs attack, for once in this half. Garner flies in on Kudus, in the hole, and gets a yellow card – his fourth of the season.
58 min Richarlison is getting ready to come on.
57 min “The rain,” says Peter Drury, “is absolutely hammering down.”
54 min Chance! And save! Ndiaye shows up his mates with an excellent cross. Beto gets ahead of it but rescues himself with a scissor kick. It’s heading for the net until Vicario springs to his left and palms it away. Inspired stuff rom all three of them.
51 min Again, good work by Grealish; again, a disappointing cross from one of his teammates – Garner this time, curling the ball right into Vicario’s gloves.
51 min As rain appears on a camera, Grealish shimmies into the box, but when he squares the ball to O’Brien, the cross is a poor one. The downside of being your team’s best plaer.
49 min Everton reach the box, Dewsbury-Hall goes down, Craig Pawson says no pen, Grealish has a shot, Vicario makes a save.
48 min Spurs get the ball and use it to draw some neat triangles. Grealish trots back to mop up.
47 min Everton dominating possession in this half.
46 min In other news, the second half is under way.
According to Sky’s analysts, no PL centre-back has ever scored a hat-trick. Don’t tell Gabriel.
“You said the goal was disallowed for an Everton player interfering with the Spurs keeper,” writes Pete Dudley, “but in fact TWO players deliberately ran up to him and squeezed him out, both in offside positions. Not sure I agree [with Gary Neville] he wouldn’t have got the ball, he was impeded from adjusting his position just before that, in my view.”
Apparently Van de Ven is the first Spurs defender to score twice in the same match since Jan Vertonghen, 12 years ago. Do they spend more time on headers in the Low Countries?
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“With the renewed focus on set pieces,” says Andy Flintoff, “and with standing your ground/blocking off defenders and goalkeepers at corners and free kicks, are we watching a renaissance of the 80s? Just waiting for big man-little man strike partnerships, the Position Of Maximum Opportunity (i.e. the far post), and midfielders hanging around the edge of the box for the second ball.
“Slightly more seriously, Everton might have got away with the disallowed goal if they’d only had one player baulking the goalkeeper rather than two (with the second behind him, and thus definitely offside).”
“Really this isn’t for you,” says Sully, “but I’m trying to follow you whilst following el classico. The minute by minute. Goes totally white screen when I attempt to scroll down. To follow the match flow.
“I am in Indonesia to be fair. Can you pass it on to the tech team. It’s very frustrating. Enjoying the score though being a born & bred scouser from Scottie Rd.”
“Kudos,” says Paul Jespersen, “to John Murray on BBC Radio Five, who actually pronounces Kudus correctly, unlike Sue Smith and all the other BBC pundits.” Ha. Not just the Beeb: it’s been Kudos from Gary Neville too.
“And that’s another shove on Pickford!” says Neil Fazakerley. “Booooooooooooo.”
HALF-TIME Everton 0-2 Spurs
It’s been a game of three corners. Spurs scored from one, against the run of play; Everton scored from one too, only to find the VAR and the ref chalking it off; and then Spurs scored from another. Micky van de Ven has both the goals, and he’s also been the most effective defender on the pitch. So Spurs have maintained their majestic away form, without playing all that well. And Everton are will spend the break wondering how to preserve their fine home record at the Hill Dickinson.
The corner, from Porro on the left, was a vicious inswinger. Van de Ven sauntered in front of Pickford and flicked it into the corner over his right shoulder. He’s on a hat-trick!
GOAL! Everton 0-2 Spurs (Van de Ven 45+6)
Van de Ven, he’s done it again!
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45+5 min Another Spurs corner, and another…
45+4 min It’s yet another good corner, and Bentancur might have converted it had it not been for a slight deflection off Grealish’s head. The ball may now be lightly coated in pomade.
45+3 min Free kick on the left to Spurs, taken by Kudus, headed away for a corner.
45+2 min Spurs attack, for once. Johnson fizzes in a cross that might have brought an own goal from a defender with less experience than Tarkowski.
45 min There will be SEVEN more minutes.
44 min Everton have a corner on the left, which Garner takes. Vicario flaps it away. Kolo Muani dribbles away, but Ndiaye produces some magic to rob him and cross. Like so many crosses, it goes unconverted.
43 min Spurs continue to have more of the ball, Everton more of the threat. Grealish, sneaking into the middle, slips in Beto, who mysteriously opts to go backwards, leaving Grealish to throw his hands up.
42 min “Fine,” says Neil Fazakerley, “I can see why that’s interfering with play, but for the Spurs goal Pickford looks to be blocked from jumping for the original cross to me.”
40 min Another good cross from Everton’s right: Ndiaye curls it in and it’s Van de Ven to the rescue again with a deflection that wrong-foots the waiting Beto.
39 min Van de Ven, the only scorer so far, is needed in his own box as a fine move, orchestrated by Dewsbury-Hall, yields a whipped cross from the right. Van de Ven meets it with a sliding block.
38 min “Afternoon Tim, hope you’re well.” It’s our man in Scotland, Simon McMahon. “Gary Naylor shouldn’t worry himself too much about missing the game at Lesser Hampden yesterday. An early red card for Queen’s Park resulted in an eventual shot count of 23-1 for visitors Ayr United, but it ended 0-0. I hope that will be of some small comfort for being stuck on a train in Warrington instead of at the Hill Dickinson Stadium. Though I’m not sure that disallowed Everton goal will have improved his mood. You’ve got to laugh, eh..?”
36 min Out of nowhere, Beto storms into the Spurs box. He even surprises himself and ends up tripping over the ball, which is gratefully gathered by Vicario.
34 min An outbreak of argy-bargy in the Everton box. Grealish, not content with being the talisman, appoints himself as the spokesman too.
34 min Another good corner from Kudus, whipped in from the right. This time Pickford is equal to it, pawing it away like a lion who is decidedly pissed off.
32 min One of the unforeseen consequences of the VAR’s efforts is that this email is now more relevant again, as it’s about the Spurs goal.
“Are you Arsenal,” asks Kieran Geoghegan, “in disguise?”
30 min Suddenly the game is one-third gone, though there will no doubt be quite a few minutes to add.
29 min The crowd were as disgusted as you’d expect and they’re more vociferous than they were before as Everton get a free kick, which they can’t do much with.
That was probably fair. Ndiaye was right in the keeper’s pocket, though he knew he was offside and didn’t try to play the ball. Gary Neville, though, feels that Vicario wouldn’t have saved the header anyway.
NO GOAL! Everton 0-1 Spurs
Yes, it’s ruled out. Indirect free kick to Spurs.
The check is for offside. Ndiaye was certainly in an offside position as O’Brien sent a fine flick-header through Vicario’s arms. The ref is sent to the monitor, so it may well be chalked off.
Hang on, the VAR is checking …
GOAL! Everton 1-1 Spurs (O'Brien 24)
Another set piece, another goal!
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22 min There’s been a delay while Xavi Simons got some treatment. Spurs resume with ten men for now, Everton pile forward and Garner hits a fine shot from deep which Vicario pushes round the post. And then …
21 min The assist from Bentancur wasn’t actually a header, the replays reveal. It was off the shoulder, like a frock.
This was a neat move. Kudus went big with the corner, so the ball sailed over Pickford to Bentancur, who headed it back, finding Van de Ven for a simple nod-in. Pickford was left playing pig in the middle.
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GOAL! Everton 0-1 Spurs (Van de Ven 19)
They have now!
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18 min Kolo Muani wins a corner off Tarkowski. Everton haven’t conceded from a set piece yet this season …
17 min Spurs add to their possession stat by playing sideways at the back. Gueye nicsk the ball and Vicario has to come out with a header to thwart Beto, but the flag was up anyway.
14 min Spurs go up the other end and get Kudus more involved, which instantly brings a whiff of threat. But still no chances for them. Spurs have had 63pc of the ball, Everton 100pc of the shots (two).
13 min Everton’s turn to do the patient build-up, and they hold onto the ball for longer. Mykolenko and Grealish look the pair most likely to make the breakthrough. Grealish gets a good cross in, then another, two headers waiting to happen. Dewsbury-Hall slips in Mykolenko, who is off balance and can’t play a simple square ball.
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9 min Spurs are beginning to string some passes together, albeit mainly in the middle third. Kolo Muani gets a glimmer now near the penalty spot, but Keane uses his strength to snuff out the danger.
7 min The stars of the show so far have been the two left-backs, Mykolenko and Spence, both racing along on the overlap as if they’d never heard about inverting into midfield.
6 min Things calm down briefly and then Brennan Johnson dances into the Everton box and causes palpitations, without anyone having a shot.
“Your entertainment (?) this evening comes courtesy of 2 teams who make up a third of of the Magnificent 6,” says Jeremy Boyce. “That is to say, the only 6 teams never to have been relegated during the mightily-impressive Premiership era! And so, given the gazillions of zlotys that have gone in to placing the Premiership where it is today, the envy of all the other leagues who can only dream of eating turnips for dinner and maybe scraping the odd domestic trophy or two, neither of these have come anywhere near their historic triumphs in the modern age. Both have great players, decent managers, lovely new stadiums and possible cheese availability. But they are serial under-achievers, which one will under-achieve best tonight?”
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3 min Chance! Grealish and Mykolenko combine to push Everton into the box, but nobody can get a shot in. Then Ndiaye wriggles down the right, past Spence, and cuts back to Beto – who can only deflect it to Grealish. His shot is well blocked by … someone.
2 min Everton go long and for one mad moment it looks as if two of their players are through, but the ball bounces kindly for Vicario.
1 min The knee is taken (to some boorish boos) and so is the kick-off.
The teams are out there and Thomas Frank is gazing out at the field with a thousand-yard stare. Bit early for that.
An email! “I shan’t bore you,” says Gary Naylor, “with the travails of travelling from Glasgow to London today via a stop off at Hill Dickinson, but I’m standing on a train at Warrington now and my seat at the match is vacant.” Noooo.
“Yesterday I couldn’t get in Lesser Hampden as Queen’s Park vs Ayr United was sold out.
“It’ll be worth it if Everton win while Liverpool lose though.”
Fun fact! A month ago Liverpool, who hadn’t lost or drawn a league game, were 12 points ahead of Aston Villa, who hadn’t won one. Now they’re level, both on 15 points. Villa have won every game since and Liverpool have lost the lot. It’s a funny old season.
The results are in from the 2pm games. Arsenal have beaten Palace 1-0, Bournemouth have beaten Forest 2-0 and, less predictably, Villa have beaten Man City 1-0. So Arsenal remain well out in front, with Bournemouth tucked in behind them – and City trailing Sunderland. At the other end, poor old Wolves have succumbed to a last-ditch winner from Burnley.
Spurs are now eighth and Everton 14th, although that doesn’t count for much in this rollicking roller-coaster of a season. The gap between them is only three points. Spurs may be well ahead on goal difference, but it’s nothing Everton can’t fix with a 4-0 win.
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Teams in full
Everton (4-2-3-1) Pickford; O’Brien, Tarkowski, Keane, Mykolenko; Garner, Gueye; Ndiaye, Dewsbury-Hall, Grealish; Beto.
Subs: Travers, Coleman, Aznou, Alcaraz, Rohl, Iroegbunam, Dibling, McNeil, Barry.
Spurs (4-2-3-1) Vicario; Porro, Danso, Van de Ven, Spence; Palhinha, Bentancur; Kudus, Simons, Johnson; Kolo Muani.
Subs: Kinsky, Gray, Byfield, Bergvall, Sarr, Scarlett, Odobert, Tel, Richarlison.
Teams in brief
Grealish starts! As does Randal Kolo Muani, ahead of Richarlison, who will begin his own derby on the bench.
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Preamble
Afternoon everyone and welcome to … well, take your pick. Welcome to the darkest afternoon game of the Premier League season so far. Or welcome to the Richarlison derby. I said this to Paul, the editor who doles out the matches to us writers. And he came back with the Vinny Samways derby, which was a better line. We didn’t even get as far as Gazza, let alone Gary Lineker.
If Everton and Spurs had met a month ago, you’d have said it was two teams on the rise. Then Thomas Frank’s Spurs went a bit Spursy. But that was at home: they remain top of the away table, and even with a few injuries they should be a headache for David Moyes. He may have to manage without Jack Grealish, who, when he escaped from Man City, took about five minutes to become (a) his old self and (b) Everton’s new talisman.
On form there’s nothing to choose between the two sides. Both have won two, drawn two and lost two of their last six league games. Everton have had a full week to rehearse for this, whereas Spurs had a trip to Monaco for a Champions League stalemate. Truth be told, anything could happen. Back soon with the teams.