And with that, I’m off. It’s been, well, forgettable. Same time tomorrow?
Rafael Benítez has a chat:
We played against a good team, you see the quality of the players they have. The style, the type of football we could see wasn’t amazing, but they won and that’s it.
Did the game hinge on the opportunity Perez had and fluffed to play in Slimani in the first hal?
We had two or three chances to make this final pass, and we didn’t do it right and couldn’t take these chances.
He’s asked about the refereeing – there might have been a penalty, and Keane could have been sent off – but he refuses to be drawn. Overall, though, he’s not too downhearted:
I think we were very close. I’m pleased with the effort of the players, but this final pass in the final third made the difference. In this kind of game when you have a lot of free kicks, corners, balls in the air, it’s a fight. It depends how you deal with that.
And finally, he talks about his ambitions for the remainder of the season. In brief, they’ve already been met:
We are strong. To stay in the Premier League was the target and we’re really pleased with that. We’ll try to do better if we can. Today we knew was a difficult game against a very good team, but still we had our chances and we have to be ready for the next one.
Sam Allardyce talks!
It was the same when we played at Swansea last week, they’d won the last four at home. Today, Newcastle had won their last four and apart from the last 10 minutes we dominated the game. What we didn’t do is get the second goal. They put us under a lot of pressure in the last 10 minutes but we defended very well. So moving forward here, and the support we get from the fans, that’s the big bonus since I arrived here. We’ve moved up the league one place again, so we’re moving in the right direction. All fairness to the lads, how hard they battled.
He’s asked about his popularity with Everton’s fans, and if this result will improve it:
If we lose next week it’ll be the same again. We’ll all be rubbish if we lose next week. So let’s keep winning, eh? But as a manager, when does every fan like their manager?
Sure, but how does he improve that relationship?
We keep winning and keep getting better and better. I’m working with a squad of players that I inherited. Eighth in the league rather than fifth from bottom tells you we’re getting better. The club demands we get better and deliver more consistent results, and if we all work together we’ll get there.
And will he produce a team that plays in the style that Everton fans expect?
What’s wrong with our style today? Completely dominated the game and outpassed the opposition. You can’t knock our football. You can knock some of the passing that went astray, but in all fairness you can’t blame me for that, can you? There’s been some mistakes, and we’ll try to eliminate those mistakes every week and get better and better.
And here is your super soaraway match report!
Theo Walcott, named man of the match because he did an interesting thing and nobody else did, speaks to Sky.
We were under a lot of pressure at the end there. We held on. Ask any striker, if it finishes 1-0 you’ve done your job. I felt that [towards the end] we started to get deeper and deeper, Jonjo got on the ball more. They put us under a lot of pressure and I’ve got to say Seamas’s header at the end was as good as my goal. Everyone did their defensive jobs and it was a much-needed three points after a few disappointing results.
Thierry Henry asked him why he hasn’t played off the left wing more often in his career, given that he could then use his decent right foot to curl in dangerous shots in a reverse-Salah kind of way.
It’s something I’m thinking about next season more. I think the gaffer’s trying it a little bit more. When you have one man up front you can be isolated a little bit up front on your own. [I like] the fact I have license to come inside, and get a much-needed goal. I think you’re going to see me a lot more on the left-hand side, I’m pretty sure of that.
He’s then asked to compare Sam Allardyce with Arsene Wenger:
They’re completely different. I think anyone can tell that. Arsene’s a fantastic man, a fantastic manager, I can’t thank him enough for what he’s done for me. Now I’m here with Sam. Again he’s shown so much faith in me and I just want to repay that.
And finally, is there more to come from this team?
Without a doubt. It’s been hit and miss at times this season. It’s just getting to know the balance, and the way we want to play. I feel next season, given the amount of money that’s been spent, you expect to be higher up in the table. We need to start to trust each other a bit more and have a bit more confidence on the ball.
While you wait for the match report, here’s our story on Everton’s robot mascot:
So Everton shoot up to eighth, and Newcastle stay 10th.
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Final score: Everton 1-0 Newcastle
90+6 mins: Newcastle have one final corner, which flies over the penalty area and straight out of play, and that’s that!
90+6 mins: Murphy swings a lovely ball into the area, and Coleman brilliantly heads clear from under his own crossbar.
90+5 mins: Baines is being treated on the touchlines for a cut above his eye, so we’re going to get even more stoppage time.
90+3 mins: Yedlin massively overhits a cross from the right. Kenedy picks it up on the opposite flank, and then massively overhits his cross from the left.
90+1 mins: Calvert-Lewin loses the ball on the edge of the area, and so tries to put off his opponent with a flying, diving headbutt. The referee yet again gives Everton the benefit of the doubt. Gueye and Kenedy then tussle for the ball, before abandoning the ball and just tussling with each other. Both are booked.
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90+1 mins: Where the referee has conjured five minutes of stoppage time from I’ve no idea, but that’s what he wants.
88 mins: One (Newcastle) player falls over, allowing another (Everton) player to take the ball, run 20 yards downfield and then hit a hilariously terrible pass. That could be the least impressive 15 seconds of action seen in the Premier League this season.
88 mins: Gayle takes the ball off Keane’s toes, and is promptly tripped. That should probably have been a second yellow card, but again the referee gives Everton the benefit of the doubt.
87 mins: Keane’s clearance hits Merino and rebounds into Jagielka’s arm. The arm is by his side, but he did seem to poke it out a little extra bit. The referee, though, says it was not deliberate.
85 mins: The night’s final substitution involves Niasse replacing Tosun.
84 mins: Newcastle have a corner, and Rooney does well to poke it behind as Diame arrived, head cocked. A second corner is headed clear.
83 mins: Gareth Southgate was going to be at Goodison Park today, to watch Shelvey in action. I’ve not seen any pictures of Southgate, so maybe he didn’t bother, but I don’t think this has been one of Shelvey’s better performances.
82 mins: Another substitution – Shelvey is off, and Merino is on. Meanwhile, here’s an online job ad of the day. So is biscuit artist a thing? Does anyone know a biscuit artist?
Artist (biscuits)
Freelance artists wanted for exciting, new food project. We are reinventing a type of biscuit and are looking for artists to help us in the decoration and imagining of the biscuits. Experience of working in food (eg biscuit artists) a bonus but not absolutely necessary.
79 mins: And that’s Ritchie’s last contribution to the night’s entertainment, as he’s replaced by Murphy.
77 mins: Ritchie sends the free kick narrowly high, and also narrowly wide.
75 mins: The night’s first yellow card is shown to Keane, who cynically took out Gayle a couple of feet outside the penalty area.
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75 mins: Ritchie’s long pass over the home defence is weighted perfectly for Gayle to run on to. He runs onto it, swings his left foot, misses the ball completely and falls over.
72 mins: Pickford makes a save! A really easy save! Kenedy crosses well from the left, and Perez heads it straight to Pickford from 12 yards.
71 mins: Another fine aerial challenge from Gueye. This time he thumps Keane, his team-mate, in the nose with an arse cheek.
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69 mins: A cross from the right finds Perez, with his back to goal and Coleman behind it, at the far post. He could have turned onto his right foot and shot from right in front of goal, but instead he turns onto his left and shoots from well wide of goal. This was a bad decision.
69 mins: Kenedy’s fine cross is headed behind by Keane. It really was a lovely centre, even if it went straight to a defender. Possibly Newcastle’s finest attacking moment.
67 mins: Gueye executes an astonishing aerial challenge on Gayle, surprising because he somehow managed to be looking neither at the ball nor at the player at the time. The ball smacked him in the elbow, but as he wasn’t looking at it it couldn’t have been deliberate – either that or the referee just didn’t see it.
64 mins: And Gayle misses a great chance! It’s a corner from the right, headed on at the near post and Gayle has a half-volley from seven yards that only needed to be on target and not actually hitting the goalkeeper flush in the face to go in. It goes high.
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63 mins: Newcastle bring Gayle on for Slimani. “Can someone explain why no managers seem to have confidence in Dwight Gayle enough to give him a real chance in the premier league?” wonders David Wall. “He scored lots of goals in the championship. And when he has been given a chance in the team at both Palace and Newcastle he has scored at a fair rate in the top flight, especially when you consider that neither side creates hatfulls of chances. Yet his managers at those clubs have been quick to drop him, and to moan about their lack of striking resources, and this even when Gayle goals help get the side into the premier league (looking at you, Benitez). True, he’s not been prolific, but perhaps if they showed more confidence and didn’t undermine him so much he might provide the striker they moan that they lack.” Well he has started Newcastle’s last eight league games, and 19 in all this season, so he’s had a fair crack of the whip. And Benítez said he was only dropped for this one so he could have a look at Slimani in action. And, finally, he’s not really that good, is he?
61 mins: So on the plus side, we can fairly confidently look forward to another.
60 mins: The goal came from Everton’s first shot on target. Newcastle have also had one shot on target. That’s precisely half an hour per half-decent effort.
59 mins: Another change for Everton, as Bolasie comes off and Calvert-Lewin goes off.
10 - Theo Walcott has been directly involved in 10 goals in his last nine Premier League games against Newcastle (5 goals, 5 assists). Haunt.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) April 23, 2018
57 mins: I decided not to write, before it got one, that the game needed a goal, because I thought it would probably still be dismal after one, but it appears I was wrong. It has significantly improved.
56 mins: A footballer tweets:
— Cesc Fàbregas Soler (@cesc4official) April 23, 2018
55 mins: Rooney takes a shot from 25 yards that bounces harmlessly wide.
54 mins: It wasn’t a celebration-related injury. In fact it seems Schneiderlin was gently bumped by Ritchie, and randomly fell apart.
@Simon_Burnton The NBC broadcast out of the US (generally quite good) was just praising Rafa for sticking with the players who won the Championship. Amazingly Martin Tyler didn't say, "Not by choice."
— Hubert O'Hearn (@BTBReviews) April 23, 2018
52 mins: A substitution: Schneiderlin has picked up an injury and Davies replaces him. Was Schneiderlin injured in the post-goal celebration? He presumably had been fine at half-time, and seemed untroubled beforehand.
51 mins: It comes from a long, looping cross from the right. Walcott does a terrible job of controlling it, but it runs into Yedlin, bounces back off him to Walcott, and this time the Englishman controls it, and bashes it into the roof of the net.
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Newcastle (Walcott, 51 mins)
A goal has been scored! An actual goal!
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49 mins: Newcastle have a chance! It’s a pass from midfield that Jagielka intercepts and almost immediately and quite puzzlingly gives away again, allowing the ball to be popped back over his head for Perez to run onto. Jagielka turns, though, and gets back in time to put him off his shot, which is shanked wide.
48 mins: If you’re watching this game, can I encourage you to go and do something else with yourself for a while? I promise to let you know if something happens.
46 mins: Peeeep! The home side start half two.
And now Newcastle are also out, and we’re going to have to watch more football.
Everton are back out, having presumably received a half-time rollicking.
Quick first half summary: each side had one great chance to score, Everton in the 35th minute and Newcastle in the 38th. Those were the good three minutes, and even they will be remembered for one terrible attempt to score and one terrible attempt to create. The other 42 were the not good minutes.
@Simon_Burnton re:Rooney and Ronaldo's differences from Man Utd days, an argument can be made that Rooney was coached into being a team player while Ronaldo was encouraged to be a selfish goalscorer
— Raveesh Bhalla (@raveeshbhalla) April 23, 2018
Perhaps. I thought the worst excesses of Ronaldo’s juvenile trickery were ironed out, leaving only what was good and had impact and thus a significantly greater player, while the joyful unpredictability of early Rooney was also ironed out, producing a lesser player.
I know it sounds counterintuitive @Simon_Burnton, but I really believe that Wayne Rooney had greater football intelligence at 16 than he has at 32.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) April 23, 2018
I think it’s a question of coaching. Where once he played on instinct and did things that were thrilling and unexpected, he has since been taught the correct thing to do in given situations, and that’s what he now does. He’s technically excellent, as he always was, but doesn’t get defences worried or supporters excited in the same way. I don’t know why, for example, Cristiano Ronaldo – six months his senior – was massively improved by the coaching he received at Manchester United while Rooney was not, but that’s what I think seemed to happen.
Half time: Everton 0-0 Newcastle
45+1 mins: There were two seconds of stoppage time.
45 mins: Walcott tries to chip Dubravka from the right-hand corner of the area, but overhits it.
43 mins: Bolasie, now on the right, sends in a great cross to Walcott, now on the left, who for some reason decides not to shoot, or to control the ball, or to do anything at all. He makes a great run to reach it, and then leaves it.
42 mins: I’m not just ignoring stuff, there’s genuinely nothing happening. It’s happening really quickly, but it’s still nothing.
38 mins: Newcastle’s best chance of the half. The ball is played back to Pickford, whose clearance hits the onrushing Kenedy and runs to Perez. He’s got an easy pass to set Slimani free on goal, but he overhits it and Pickford gets to it first.
35 mins: The ball is worked back to Rooney, who swings it back in with his right foot. Keane, at the far post, heads it back across goal and Jagielka has an easy chance to tap it in! He taps it over.
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34 mins: Rooney takes the corner, which Keane reaches only to miscue his header.
34 mins: Rooney’s excellently flighted free-kick is headed behind by Dummett.
30 mins: Baines plays a low ball into the left of Newcastle’s penalty area, where Dubravka picks it up.
30 mins: Ritchie gets down the right and chips the ball to the back post, where Pickford catches it. As you were.
29 mins: Operation Goodison Exercise has ended with an all clear, I’m delighted to report.
27 mins: Nearly a thing! Tosun and Walcott combine to get the ball into the Newcastle penalty area, but Yedlin sprints across from the right to boot clear.
23 mins: According to the Everton loudspeaker system, they have just commenced “Operation Goodison Exercise”.
22 mins: Now Perez has a shot from 30 yards. The backheel was better. The shot flies 15 yards over the goal.
21 mins: I believe Perez just did a nice backheel, though. So that’s something.
20 mins: Yet to really spark into life, this one. It’s not the tempo of the game – the pace of it is emphatically not an issue. It’s just that nobody’s doing anything good.
17 mins: A few moments later Bolasie passes to Baines on the left, the left-back pulls back to Bolasie, and his shot from the edge of the area is blocked.
16 mins: Walcott runs towards Schneiderlin’s long ball over the Newcastle defence, but it lands perhaps three inches out of reach.
13 mins: Newcastle have tried to release players down ye olde inside left channel a couple of times, but on both occasion Pickford has been on his toes and reached the ball first.
11 mins: Schneiderlin pulls Kenedy back by the shoulder. Not long ago this was a guarantee booking, but tonight it’s just a free kick – and from a harmless position inside the centre circle.
8 mins: And also some ghastly passing, from both sides. Rooney’s attempt to pass to Baines being a case in point, though having intercepted it Newcastle almost immediately give it back.
7 mins: The match has yet to spark into life, but Everton have had the best of the early exchanges.
4 mins: Dummett was swinging his foot to clear the ball, and in the end kicked only Walcott. It could easily have been a penalty.
3 mins: And Everton nearly score! Walcott screams forward from the centre circle, gets to the edge of the area, plays a terrible pass towards Tosun, nicks it back from the toes of Dummett and it drops to Tosun, who volleys wide with his left foot!
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1 min: Peeeeep! Newcastle get the game started.
You may have read reports of Everton fans being asked to rate their manager out of 10. Some of them are reporting their judgement straight to the big man:
Banner in the upper Gwladys Street tonight: "Our survey says...get out of our club"
— Andy Hunter (@AHunterGuardian) April 23, 2018
The robot mascot isn’t leading the players out on tiny little wheels, sadly – it’s being carried by Phil Jagielka, while beaming live footage to the bed of a poorly young Everton fan. And there are 10 other mascots with all the other players.
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The players are coming out!
Evertonians should read that interview with Klopp @Simon_Burnton because it shows that charisma matters in a manager - perhaps more in this city than most. I suspect I'm not alone in liking Rafa too, not just because of his achievements but also his understanding of Hillsborough
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) April 23, 2018
He is an engaging character. Post-goal celebratory madness on the touchline is not a trait I generally admire in a manager, but I think Klopp’s off-pitch demeanour, and his ability to talk intelligently about any subject that’s thrown at him, not restricted to football, make him seem more rounded and approachable, and stop me from being irritated by his occasional excesses. And his team is a lot of fun.
Some pre-match chatter from the two managers. First, Sam Allardyce:
It should be for the players. I think the continuation of our really good home record is another motivation for hte players. We’ve hit some really good results, some good numbers, and it’s been the mainstay of getting us into the top half of the league. To improve by one place tonight is a big motivation. We try to get an intensity here in every football match. You do that by getting in the opposition’s final third and delivering quality, and that’s what I’m looking for the players to do tonight.
And also, Rafael Benítez:
I told them that if they continued winning it would be even more difficult. In the end we have to see players. We are safe now. We can see players, what can they give to us, for the last games. Dwight was working really hard. The main thing for us is we were defending as a team and attacking as a team. When a striker is working really hard but not scoring goals, he’s doing a job for the team. He’s working hard and will be ready for the next game. Obviously we want to finish as high as possible. If we win tonight we will be one position up and we want to do that today.
Pre-match reading dept: if you haven’t already read this, you’ve just about got time to do so. I can understand that Everton fans might not be inclined to do so, but it’s an excellent interview.
Thierry Henry is one of the Sky studio guests for the evening, and is currently talking about Arsenal’s successes under Arsène Wenger. I don’t mean to mock a foreign accent, and Henry is of course superbly eloquent in English, but he does seem to think the left-back in Wenger’s early days was called Nigel Wind Turbine.
Here’s today’s mascot. Seems shorter than average:
🤖 | This little robot is about to make one young Evertonian's dream come true! #JacksRobotMascot
— Everton (@Everton) April 23, 2018
Find out more later on https://t.co/Xu5xBqhT7G... pic.twitter.com/YZuk2pFkNr
The teams!
Here are the line-ups. Headlines include Islam Slimani making his first start for Newcastle:
Everton: Pickford, Coleman, Keane, Jagielka, Baines, Schneiderlin, Gueye, Rooney, Walcott, Tosun, Bolasie. Subs: Martina, Niasse, Funes Mori, Davies, Calvert-Lewin, Robles, Baningime.
Newcastle: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Ritchie, Diame, Shelvey, Kenedy, Perez, Slimani. Subs: Clark, Murphy, Gayle, Hayden, Manquillo, Merino, Darlow.
Referee: Robert Madley.
📋 | Team news is in! #EFCmatchday pic.twitter.com/HbyDxSnqBr
— Everton (@Everton) April 23, 2018
TEAM NEWS: Here's how Newcastle United will line up at @Everton in the @premierleague this evening (kick-off 8pm BST). #NUFC pic.twitter.com/pgoNqN13Ly
— Newcastle United FC (@NUFC) April 23, 2018
Here’s Paul Dummett on today’s challenge:
When you’re winning games you want to keep playing, you want to keep winning games. We’ve picked up a lot of points recently and we want to keep on going, and pick up as many as we can. We’ve come here to win the game. We’ve got a gameplan to win and hopefully we can do that.
Hello world!
The league is a method of adding meaning to a series of individual football matches that, but for the framework provided by the competition, would each, whatever the entertainment they provided, be essentially meaningless. It’s a jolly clever method, but towards the end of a season there will always be matches upon which rests not a great deal. This, on the face of it, is one of those. Everton are currently in ninth place, and Newcastle in 10th. Neither is likely to finish above eighth or lower than 12th. There is little motivation for the players here except whatever naturally burns inside them.
But these are still interesting teams, who have had interesting seasons, stories whose final chapter remains to be written. They may be one point and one place apart in the table, but they have taken very different routes to get there.
Since they lost at home to Everton in December Newcastle have been beaten in the league by Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City. And nobody else. There have been eight wins, with Manchester United and Arsenal both on the list of victims. After that Everton game they were 16th, one point ahead of 19th and three above the bottom side, Swansea. Their record in 16 matches since is the seventh best in the country, and in league games played in 2018 they are fifth. Win tonight and they will leapfrog their opponents into ninth overall, with a top-half finish virtually assured. They are a team on an upward trajectory, and in any rational analysis Rafael Benítez has wildly overachieved this season.
In the 2018 table Everton are 14th. There has been precisely one month this season, starting on 27 November, just before Sam Allardyce’s appointment, and ending on Boxing Day, when they have done well. Between those dates only Manchester City outperformed them and they snaffled 14 points, precisely a third of their total for the entire season so far. Outside that period there have been 28 games: six wins, eight draws and 14 defeats. The Allardyce bounce lasted just a few weeks, and feels a long time ago already, and both fans and manager appear already to be grumbling. They are a team still in search of an identity, and a trajectory.
So, to be sure, this is a mid-table match with little of importance at stake. But it’s still, for all that, intriguing. And so, in short, worth sticking with.
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