FULL TIME: Everton 3-1 Chelsea
And that’s that. A fully deserved victory for Everton, who were the better team for the entire game, give or take those few first-half minutes after Matic’s goal. Naismith quite rightly is named the man of the match. Chelsea’s title defence meanwhile is beginning to look like something from the Leeds-Blackburn school. This is their worst start to a season since 1988-89 - though it should be noted they went on to win the Second Division title easily that season. Who came second in that campaign? Manchester City, of course. Hey, there’s always hope.
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90 min +3: An up and under into the Chelsea area. Zouma and Terry leave it to each other. Naismith nearly nips in to take advantage. Begovic steps up to punch clear, then steps onto Naismith’s head. A complete accident. After scoring a perfect hat-trick, left foot, right foot and header, Naismith doesn’t mind too much.
90 min +2: Funes Mori embarks on a Beckenbaueresque ramble down the inside-left channel. Costa slides in from behind to earn himself a booking.
90 min: Goodison is rocking. This has been a brilliant performance by Everton, and their fans are celebrating accordingly. There will be four added minutes.
89 min: Stones romps down the right wing and whips a cross into the danger zone from the right. It’s cleared, but some shades of Total Football there. He runs back upfield with a big grin plastered across his face.
88 min: Now it’s Azpilicueta who sees yellow, for clattering into Lennon as the Everton winger looks to make off down the right.
87 min: Stones concedes a free kick 30 yards from goal, then kicks the ball away. He’s booked. Willian’s set piece is easily cleared by Everton.
86 min: Naismith is upended by a frustrated Willian, 30 yards from goal, just to the left. Barkley fancies the free kick, and whips one towards the top left. Begovic claims. “You’re getting sacked in the morning,” chant half of the Everton support. The other 50 percent are singing “Going down”.
84 min: Hazard tries to get Chelsea back into this again. He jinks in from the left, and loops a cross towards the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. Falcao has space to plant a header goalwards, but his effort is weak and easily gathered by Howard.
GOAL! Everton 3-1 Chelsea (Naismith 82)
A lovely goal, this. Barkley, Stones and Lennon combine down the right, some pretty triangles. Barkley drifts inside. When he reaches the right-hand corner of the D, he slides a pass down the channel to release Naismith, who takes a touch and slides the ball past Begovic from a tight angle. Stunning finish, and that’s a hat-trick for the substitute!
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81 min: Matic, to the right of the Everton D, lines up a shot. It’s blocked out for a corner on the right. Willian’s delivery flies straight out of play. Precious relief for Everton.
79 min: Everton deal with the set piece easily enough. But Chelsea are beginning to probe quite forcefully now. The home side sitting very deep. It’s going to be a long final ten minutes for the home support.
78 min: Willian accelerates into the Everton area down the left, and zings a low cross into the six-yard box. Barry blasts clear. But Chelsea are soon coming back at Everton. Matic makes a bit of space down the left and floats a ball across for Falcao, but it’s a little bit too high. And yet again Chelsea come back at Everton, Willian forcing a corner down the right.
77 min: Coleman is replaced by the debutant Funes Mori.
75 min: Coleman and Lennon combine down the right. Willian’s first contribution is a hacked clearance. Coleman picks up possession again and tries to curl one into the top left from 30 yards out on the right. Full marks for ambition. But he appears to have jiggered himself while taking that shot. He’s down receiving treatment, and not looking particularly happy with life.
74 min: Fabregas is replaced by Willian.
72 min: Everton replace the hard-working Kone with Lennon.
71 min: And now Everton go back up the other end, Lukaku bombing down the left but delivering neither cross nor shot. This match is great fun.
70 min: Everton faff around at the corner, allowing Chelsea to stream upfield. Ivanovic makes good for the Everton box. He thinks about shooting, but hesitates and eventually rolls a pass left for Costa. The striker should shoot first time, but dallies, and the chance is gone.
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69 min: Naismith looks to feed Galloway down the left. He earns a corner off Ivanovic. Before the set piece is taken, Pedro is replaced by Falcao.
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68 min: The corner is worked to the right, where Lukaku has room to pelt another low shot at goal. Begovic parries again. He’s been Chelsea’s best player this afternoon. The resulting corner comes to nothing.
67 min: Naismith and Kone are both putting in quite a shift. They take turns to battle down the inside-left channel, and eventually earn a corner off Matic, who is forced to track back to help his occasionally hapless defence.
64 min: Galloway is booked for an awfully late slide on Pedro. He can have no complaints, it was a dismal challenge. Chelsea flood forward, Hazard cutting in from the left and forcing Howard to flap his high cross out for a corner on the right. From the corner, Pedro spins around in a figure of eight before falling over. No penalty, but in fairness only a few fans made the claim.
62 min: And it’s Everton who look the more likely at the moment. Chelsea are light at the back, with Barkley running at their defence. He’s got Kone in acres down the left, but hesitates. Eventually he slips a lame pass to Kone, but the striker’s had to hold his run, and the move breaks down.
61 min: Lukaku powers into the Chelsea box down the right. He’s got Terry on his left shoulder, but still gets a shot away, albeit only into the side netting.
60 min: Kenedy sashays in from the left, dragging a shot wide left of goal. Chelsea have failed to launch a sustained attack on Everton since the restart. The break came at the wrong time for Mourinho’s men.
58 min: Lukaku is sent tearing down the inside-left channel and into the Chelsea box. He lashes low and hard towards the goal. Begovic parries. Terry prods the rebound back to the keeper before Lukaku can take another pop. It should be a free kick for a backpass, on the left-hand corner of the six-yard box, but the referee isn’t having a bar of it. That’s a poor decision. It was a deliberate pass.
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57 min: Barkley goes on a Gazza-lite dribble down the inside-left channel. He very nearly breaks into the area. A lovely slalom. Matic, on the edge of the box, puts a stop to his gallop light trot.
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55 min: Coleman dribbles down the right and wins a corner off Terry, who comes across to challenge in his trademark no-nonsense style. Stones gets his head to the set piece, but it sails well over the bar. Chelsea hook Mikel; Kenedy comes on in his wake.
53 min: Pedro probes down the inside-left channel but runs into a cul-de-sac. Naismith sprays a pass down the left for Lukaku, but there’s too much juice on the ball, which ends up in the stand. Nothing coming off for either side right now.
52 min: Costa busies himself down the left and earns a corner. It’s Chelsea’s tenth of the match. It’s not as though Chelsea haven’t applied plenty of pressure. Kone eyebrows clear. Zouma and Barry clash on the edge of the Everton box. Zouma has taken a whack on the knee, but it looks like he’ll be all right after a brief period of agony.
49 min: Matic, out on the Chelsea right, passes back to Begovic, who needs to reach the edge of his area in double-quick time to hack clear, McCarthy applying the pressure. Chelsea still not looking fully competent at the back, which is all very strange.
47 min: Both teams take a turn to pass it around the back awhile. Everyone finding their feet again. Fabregas curls a cross into the Everton area from the left, but it doesn’t beat the first man.
And they're off again!
No changes. Jose Mourinho has obviously told his starting XI to sort out their own mess. Chelsea get the ball rolling for the second half.
Half-time entertainment: Well, the first half went along like a train. So here’s The Waterloo Bridge Handicap, starring Everton fan Leonard Rossiter.
HALF TIME: Everton 2-1 Chelsea
Lukaku slides a ball down the left for Naismith, who couldn’t quite get clear of Ivanovic. Naismith checks, and loops a long cross towards Coleman, who heads harmlessly wide right. And that’s the last meaningful act of a superbly entertaining half. Mourinho stomps off down the tunnel early, his coupon as black as thunder. Roberto Martinez will be happy to talk to his troops too, Everton having gone off the boil dramatically towards the end of that half. But he’ll be happy enough. This is finely poised, and the second half promises to be a blast. No flipping!
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45 min: Pedro, 25 yards out, scores three rugby points. A perfect conversion. There will be two additional minutes.
44 min: Barry tries to release Kone down the inside-right channel, but his pitching wedge is more of a 5-iron. Everton’s passing, so slick up until Matic’s pearler, has gone to pot.
43 min: Fabregas glides in from the right and feeds Costa, whose snapshot from the edge of the D is deflected over the bar by Stones. From the corner, another corner. And from that, Fabregas, 25 yards out down the inside-right channel, aims for the bottom left. It’s going wide. Ivanovic tries to guide it in, but not quite. Everton are hanging on a bit here.
41 min: Matic has another go from 35 yards. He’s got the taste. Barry sticks himself in the way this time, and the ball balloons out for a corner on the left. Kone clears. Hazard comes romping back at them down the left, but his pullback is aimless. Chelsea have suddenly turned on the style again. That goal’s shocked Everton.
38 min: Chelsea have their tails up now. Fabregas embarks on a run down the left and feeds Hazard, who has some space just inside the area. His shot is blocked out for a corner. From the set piece, another corner. And then Hazard dances around the left, flicking a cross into the box. Terry powers a header over from ten yards. So close to the equaliser! That’s why, so the old song goes, they’re champions. Speaking of songs, were the Chelsea fans singing “We are staying up” after Matic’s goal? Ten out of ten for gallows wit if so.
GOAL! Everton 2-1 Chelsea (Matic 36)
And out of nothing, Chelsea are back in it! A throw from the right, the best part of 40 yards out. Matic takes a touch forwards, strides into the space, and unleashes a rising heatseeker into the top-left corner from the best part of 35 yards. That’s as good a goal as you’ll see all season! What an effort! Not even a micro-tell on Mourinho’s face by way of reaction.
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35 min: Kone cuts in from the right. He chips the ball inside for Lukaku to head on for Naismith. Ivanovic nips in ahead and buys a cheap free kick, Naismith having lightly brushed him from behind while battling for the ball. That’s clever defending by Ivanovic, for Chelsea were exposed without his intervention.
33 min: This is a little better from Chelsea, though. A period of possession in the Everton half. Eventually Ivanovic romps down the right and wins a corner off Naismith. From the corner, the ball’s passed this way and that in front of Everton’s box. But they can’t fashion any space. Costa gets fed up and hoicks a high ball in from the left. Howard rises to claim.
31 min: Fabregas sprays a delightful crossfield 40-yarder towards Costa down the left. For a second it looks like Costa will take advantage of all the empty space in front of him, but Coleman is across quickly to snuff him out.
29 min: A quick free kick taken by Chelsea in the middle of Everton’s half. The hosts asleep. Ivanovic is in the area, with time to line up a shot! But not that much time, and Barry comes across to block. Ivanovic waves his arms around in frustration. Chelsea are far from a happy unit right now. And they’re nearly busted open on the break, with Naismith haring after a long ball down the left, but Zouma is alert and sweeps up.
27 min: But the champions are still looking tatty at the back. There’s more space for Coleman down the right. His fierce low cross only just evades Lukaku in the middle. Lukaku scampers to the left to keep the move going. He drops a shoulder and fizzes a low one into the six-yard box. Mikel hacks clear, with the rest of his team all over the place.
26 min: Terry slides a gorgeous pass down the left wing to release Azpilicueta into acres of space. A lovely spring after a period of patient possession. The full back breaks into the area and looks to curl one past Howard from an inviting angle, but Stones slides across to block out for a corner. The set piece comes to nothing, but that’s better from Chelsea.
24 min: This 2-0 scoreline doesn’t flatter Everton whatsoever. Chelsea attempt to respond through Pedro, who cuts in from the left but drags a weak shot wide left of goal. Earlier in the move, Costa wafted his fingers in Coleman’s face. It would have been a soft red card, but you’ve seen the referee brandish them for unnecessary nonsense like that. Chelsea need to clear their heads, and quickly.
GOAL! Everton 2-0 Chelsea (Naismith 22)
Everton are rampant! They shuttle the ball in from the right wing, Lukaku to Kone to McCarthy to Naismith. He’s 25 yards out, just to the left of centre. And he unleashes a low shot, threading it across Begovic and into the bottom right! What a stunning strike! And what a mess Chelsea are in. On the touchline, Jose Mourinho has a face on.
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20 min: ... the ball breaks to McCarthy, 25 yards out. He sends a rising shot towards the top left. That’s going in, but it’s another fine full-stretch save by Begovic. Chelsea finally tidy up, but they’re all over the place here.
19 min: So nearly 2-0! Coleman dances down the right, cuts back, and floats a cross into the box. Kone rises and sends a header towards the top left. Begovic, at full stretch, tips round for a corner. From which ...
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Chelsea (Naismith 17)
This is wonderfully simple! Naismith dribbles towards the box. He slides a pass out left for Galloway, and keeps going. Galloway curls a cross into the area. Naismith, timing his run brilliantly, guides a header into the top right, Begovic with no chance! That was a doddle. What on earth has happened to Chelsea’s normally parsimonious defence?!
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16 min: Costa very nearly bursts clear down the inside-left channel, but is done out of it by some powerful and determined defending by Jagielka.
14 min: Ivanovic ushers a long ball out of play for a goal kick down the left. Naismith is right on his shoulder, and shoves Ivanovic over, before aiming a boot up his hole. Ivanovic has a bit of a frown and a moan, but doesn’t make too much of it. Some wonderful old-fashioned nonsense.
12 min: Space for McCarthy down the right. He cuts inside and floats a cross to the back post. Naismith isn’t tall enough to plant the nut on it, and the ball whistles out of play to the left. Chelsea still not looking wholly convincing at the back, which is very odd isn’t it.
11 min: Ivanovic makes good down the right and wins a corner off Galloway. Pedro’s corner is half cleared, but Fabregas is given space to cross from the right. Zouma tries to guide the whipped cross goalwards, but the ball squirts out to the left of goal. A nice open feel to the early exchanges.
9 min: After Barkley’s shot dribbles out of play, Besic crumbles to the turf. He’s not able to continue, and is replaced by Naismith. Why on earth did he come back on?
8 min: Lukaku powers through the middle and rolls a pass forward for Besic, who bravely tries to get involved, but he really doesn’t look up to it. The ball breaks left for Barkley, who drags a shot across the face of goal from the left-hand corner of the D, the ball apologetically crossing the byline miles to the right of goal.
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7 min: Besic comes back onto the pitch, but he’s holding his hamstring and limping quite a lot. Everton playing with ten-and-a-half men at the moment.
5 min: From the corner, Lukaku goes up for a high ball with Begovic and gives the keeper a good old clatter. A calling card, in the old language.
4 min: Besic very nearly powers past Zouma down the left, and earns a corner. Good news for Everton, but then Besic goes down, having tweaked his hamstring by the looks of it. He looks highly frustrated, punching the turf in a most unhappy manner. He hops off to get some attention.
3 min: Costa nutmegs Stones down the inside-left channel, but the defender turns quickly to block the striker’s run and snaffle possession. Money can buy Chelsea diamond rings, but.
2 min: A fair bit of space for Ivanovic down the right. He whips a dangerous low cross into the area. Or it would be dangerous if any of his team-mates had been keeping up. Howard is off his line to gather.
And we're off!
Everton get the ball rolling. Barkley embarks on a power dribble down the middle, straight from kick off, but is quickly smothered by a white blanket. Then Pedro closes in on Galloway with extreme prejudice. Both teams, within the first ten seconds, have shown some high-tempo intent. We could have a good game on our hands here!
Anyway, the theme to Z-Cars is blaring from the PA system, and that means the teams are out! Everton are in their famous blue shirts, with the visitors Chelsea in Real Madrid white. Jose should like that. Quite the atmosphere at Goodison. We’ll be off in a minute!
This picture ...
... might suggest that some terrible accident has befallen Everton’s beloved mascot Chang the Elephant. But don’t worry, boys and girls. Chang is a very special elephant with magic powers, which allow the rest of his body to slope off for a couple of pre-match liveners down the drinker. He’ll be back in one piece for a quick circuit of the pitch at half-time, perhaps, unless he’s got a fag on or the fruit machine looks like it’s about to pay out.
The man everyone wants to hear speak this morning: Jeremy Corbyn Jose Mourinho. He’s just walked out of an interview with BT Sport at the first mention of his main summer tranfer target John Stones. “It’s before the game. This interview is too long.” He exits with a flourish, a graceful flounce. Before all that, he talked through the return to the Chelsea side of John Terry, for whom Gary Cahill makes way. Cahill will be back for the Champions League in midweek, says Mourinho. And in other team news, John Obi Mikel comes in to do all the tracking back evidently beneath Cesc Fabregas, while Everton are pretty much as expected, with their main injury doubt Brendan Galloway keeping his place at left-back ahead of new boy Ramiro Funes Mori.
The teams
Everton: Howard, Coleman, Stones, Jagielka, Galloway, McCarthy, Barry, Besic, Barkley, Kone, Lukaku.
Subs: Robles, Mirallas, Lennon, Naismith, Deulofeu, Osman, Funes Mori.
Chelsea: Begovic, Ivanovic, Zouma, Terry, Azpilicueta, Mikel, Matic, Pedro, Fabregas, Hazard, Costa.
Subs: Falcao, Kenedy, Remy, Willian, Cahill, Blackman, Loftus-Cheek.
Referee: Andre Marriner (W Midlands).
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Preamble
This fixture was the match of the season last year, a ludicrously entertaining knockabout which Chelsea won 6-3. The same again this time round? Hey, why not!
Everton have already scored ten goals this season, while shipping seven. They’ve been all over the shop so far, in the nicest possible sense: scraping a draw at home to Watford, thrashing Saints away, making in-form Manchester City work for their win, becoming entangled in an eight-goal thriller at third-division Barnsley, dogging out a draw at Spurs. It’s been a mixed bag all right.
Chelsea meanwhile have only kept a clean sheet in one of their last nine league matches, which is staggering considering the manner in which Jose Mourinho usually goes about his business. They’ve lost three of the five fixtures they’ve played so far this season, winning only one, and they needed to score three times to be certain of that particular victory. They’ve let in nine league goals already, only six fewer than the total conceded during their 2004-05 title-winning campaign. Eh? What they’d do for a player like John Stones, huh.
Everton, despite last season’s thumping, have a good record at Goodison against Chelsea. They’ve won four of the last six meetings. But then Chelsea are the champions, have fresh memories of hitting the hosts for six last year, and this appalling run of form they’re on has to end sometime soon. Good luck calling this one, then. Another ding-dong nine-goal thriller? Hey, why not? Yes please! Yes please!
Kick off: 12.45pm.
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