In a few months my soon to be four-year-old will be trotting off to primary school in his smart new blazer and tie.
Yes, I cleared the first hurdle in the education rat race on Tuesday when I learned he’d been offered a place at the school I wanted him to attend.
I was shocked he even got it. Like any “good school” it’s oversubscribed and we live quite far away from it.
It was actually my second choice, I’d put an equally-impossible-to-get-into school as my first and predictably didn’t get in.
So yes, I’m happy, but apprehensive, because this is just the start of the battle of survival. Don’t think it’s all cake sales and summer fairs.
I’m facing six years of school-gate passive aggression, WhatsApp group strops and, in next to no time, inevitable conversations about whether I’ve started tutoring for the 11-plus exams.
What Prince George is like at school - and his pals have adorable nickname for him
Game of Thrones has nothing on sharp-elbowed parents.
And before long we’ll be facing the joy of SATS. Or maybe not.
If Jeremy Corbyn gets his way, SATs will be consigned to the dustbin of education history.
He told the National Education Union this week that he plans to abolish them if he wins the next election.
My elder son was one of the first children to take the turbocharged SATs in 2016.
But I don’t recognise the picture painted by Corbyn of stressed-out crying kids having nightmares.
As far as I know, that was just me.
Mum throws daughter Build-A-Bear party and forces upset kids to hand bears over
The exams didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know – he excelled at English and was pretty rubbish at maths, cue more tears, from me.
It all seemed to be a bit of a waste of time, but was definitely not hellish for my son and his friends.
When did primary school get so stressful... for parents, that is.
In the olden days, which is when my son says I went to school, it was so much simpler. Everyone went to their nearest one and learnt the three Rs.
Maybe the solution now is, instead of scrapping SATs, whoever’s in charge needs to focus on creating a culture that takes the toxicity out of this new primary school arms race.
It should encourage children of all backgrounds to mix together, which in turn breeds better social mobility and a better understanding of the people around us.
