Eurovision song contest 2012 - in pictures

Sweden's entry Loreen performs Euphoria, which won this year's competition convincingly. 'Oh, it's good, isn't it? It sounds like something that you'd hear on the radio. And that's something that has never ever been said about any Eurovision song in history' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

Can Bonomo of Turkey, 'a performance notable for the backing dancers, one of whom is the devil' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

The UK's Engelbert Humperdinck. 'If the Eurovision scoring was based on who's the biggest, most legendary "I've sold 15 million albums" septuagenarian crooner, we'd win by a country mile. Alas it's based on this song, which is OK I s'pose.' Photograph: Sergei Ilnitsky/EPA

Norway's Tooji. 'This is good and all, and there's lots of very current "wob-wob" noises in it, but I can't help thinking "If you're here, who's doing the Saturday shift at All Saints?"' Photograph: Sergey Ponomarev/AP

Nina Zilli of Italy. 'It's a jazzy little number, but instantly forgettable. Great lipstick and shoes though. Also, great teeth' Photograph: Sergei Ilnitsky/EPA

Mandinga of Romania. 'The song is basically a perfect distillation of everything Eurovision. There's a moonwalking bagpiper, a big drum with a heart, a giant afro and a set of lyrics that are mostly "See-la-li-la-li" over and over again' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

Azerbaijan's Sabina Babayeva. 'It appears that Azerbaijan has hired a poundshop Celine Dion, dressed her in the nearest swan and told her to free-associate a song about telling her best friend that it's got a bit cold' Photograph: Sergei Ilnitsky/EPA

Lithuania's Donny Montell, who sang Love is Blind. 'Lithuanians don't do metaphor – Donny is wearing a blindfold to highlight the blindness of his love. Later he will gouge his eyeballs out before lunging passionately at a member of the audience. THAT'S how blind his love is' Photograph: Sergey Ponomarev/AP

Albania's Rona Nishliu. 'The desperate wailing of a wounded bear, sung by a terrifying Bjork-a-like sporting a cob loaf as a hat' Photograph: Sergey Ponomarev/AP

Russia's Buranovskiye Babushki, who performed Party for Everybody. 'A Russian party clearly includes baked goods, which is my kind of party. Has anyone in the history of Eurovision had an oven on stage? Surely for this alone they should win?' Photograph: Sergey Ponomarev/AP

Eleftheria Eleftheriou of Greece. 'She's got it all. She sings. She dances. She flicks her hair a bit too often, to be honest, but I'm liveblogging Eurovision so I'm not exactly in a position to be very picky' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

Pasha Parfeny of Moldova. 'The chorus includes the phrase "this trumpet makes you my girl", which is just a tiny bit sinister. There's a lot of room for his trumpet in those jodhpurs' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

Pastora Soler of Spain. 'Due to budgetary constraints, the singer is wearing your mum's third-best tablecloth. The translated title of this song is Stay With Me and, judging by the singer's face, she's so keen for us to stay with her because she's massively constipated and she has trouble walking up the stairs' Photograph: David Mdzinarishvili/Reuters

Ireland's Jedward, who performed Waterline. 'The format is much the same as last year, but they've swapped the red rubber suits for Pimp My Tin Man costumes. There's also a fountain, presumably to represent the "waterline". A toilet would have done' Photograph: Rolf Klatt/WireImage

Anggun of France. 'It's got lots of topless gymnasts, so that's a good start. And a very beautiful singer. France have entered some absolute dirge over recent years (Sebastien Tellier aside, he was BRILLIANT), but this is really rather good' Photograph: Sergei Ilnitsky/EPA