Eurovision song contest 2008

Greece's Kalomira plays piggy in the middle while her dancers say 'jazz hands!' Photograph: Koca Sulejmanovic/EPA

Finland’s Terasbetoni, which translates as “Poison, who?” Photograph: Koca Sulejmanovic/EPA

Elnur & Samir's fake blood, red contact lenses and a goblet all say one thing: we’re from Azerbaijan Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/guardian.co.uk

Yes, Laka of Bosnia & Herzegovina, we too think a velvet lapel looks mighty debonair with a bar mat for a badge Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Cutting-edge UK music with Andy Abraham, the guy who didn’t win X Factor in 2005 Photograph: Ivan Milutinovic/guardian.co.uk

Dima Bilan of Russia is proud of being body-bald. He also has a puppeteer for a backing dancer Photograph: Srdjan Ilic/AP

Mor ve Otesi of Turkey does not, repeat, does not have a messiah complex Photograph: Marko Djurica /guardian.co.uk

France's Sebastien Tellier makes a philosophical statement about the fundamental obsolescence of golf. Perhaps Photograph: Ivan Milutinovic/guardian.co.uk

Jelena Tomasevic of Serbia not only sees dead people, she performs with them Photograph: Srdjan Ilic/AP

Boaz of Israel: spooky Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Poland's Isis Gee has seen heaven and liked it. She is also available for wedding receptions Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Norway's Maria performs her song in the middle of a busy box junction Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Kraljevi Ulice & 75 Cents of Croatia. Say no more Photograph: Marko Djurica /Reuters

Diana Gurtskaya. She's Georgian and she's another one with a bit of a thing for white Photograph: Marko Djuri/Reuters

Same applies to Vania Fernandes of Portugal. Meanwhile, someone's fainted back left Photograph: Marko Djurica/guardian.co.uk

Ever wondered where Scooch got to? Meet Iceland's Euroband Photograph: Srdjan Ilic/AP

Denmark's Simon Mathew will take you all on Photograph: Marko Djurica/guardian.co.uk

The German entrants are No Angels. You're telling us... Photograph: Joerg Koch/AFP

Sweden's Charlotte Perrelli; the favourite and the only one with lasers, it seems Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Olta Boka comes from Albania and has a problem standing up straight Photograph: Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP

Danger! It's Armenia's Sirusho Photograph: Srdjan Ilic /AP

Nico and Vlad Mirita of Romania are putting all that on. In reality, they don't even talk Photograph: Ivan Milutinovic /guardian.co.uk