And here, for your reading enjoyment, is your news story on the draw.
Thanks for reading!
So, to summarise:
- Arsenal draw Sporting, Qarabag and FC Vorskla
- Chelsea get PAOK, BATE Borisov and Vidi FC
- For Celtic, it’s Red Bull Salzburg, RB Leipzig and Rosenborg
- And Rangers will face Villarreal, Rapid Vienna and Spartak Moscow
Ouch.
By my maths, #AFC will be travelling 9,928 miles for their three Europa League away games. Baku (4,930-mile round trip), Poltava (3,028) and Lisbon (1,970)
— Sam Dean (@SamJDean) August 31, 2018
Another small nugget from the office’s Eastern European history expert Philip Cornwall, for any Arsenal fans looking to attend their game against FC Vorskla. They play in Poltava, which was the site of the Battle of Poltava in 1709, between Peter the Great of Russia and Charles XII of Sweden. That resulted in a rousing victory for the Russians, and apparently put the kibosh on Sweden being a significant European power. So go pay your respects, Gooners.
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Just on that Red Bull derby: you might be wondering how this is allowed. And you’d probably be right to wonder that, given the influence of the sickly energy drink company on both clubs.
The simple, if rather unsatisfying answer is that according to Uefa “no individual or legal entity had a decisive influence over more than one club”. That’s because technically speaking Red Bull no longer own Salzburg, they merely sponsor them (and their stadium). So that’s all above board, then. Uefa checked the small print last year on this and ruled it OK.
Maybe the stand-out game of the whole draw though, is FC Dudelange - the first team from Luxembourg to reach this stage of a European competition - facing yer actual AC Milan. The Italians might not be what they used to be, but still. Mercy.
Thoughts? That’s not great for Arsenal from a geographical point of view: you’d imagine they won’t be wild about travelling to Qarabag (Azerbaijan) and FC Vorskla (Ukraine). But Lisbon is lovely, so there’s that.
Chelsea, equally, might have liked to swerve BATE Borisov (Belarus), but both English clubs should make relatively easy work of actually qualifying.
As for Rangers and Celtic, the latter are a bit of a sideshow next to the Red Bull derby - Leipzig vs Salzburg - while Stevie Gerrard’s boys have a spicy old trio in Villarreal, Rapid Vienna and Spartak Moscow.
And that Europa League group stage draw in full...
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
FC Zurich
AEK Larnaca
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
RB Leipzig
Rosenborg
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Bordeaux
Slavia Prague
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Dinamo Zagreb
Spartak Tranava
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Qarabag
FC Vorskla
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Real Betis
Dudelange
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Spartak Moscow
Rangers
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Frankfurt
Apollon Limassol
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Malmo
Sarpsborg
Group J
Sevilla
Krasnodar
Standard Liege
Akhisharspor
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
FC Astana
Rennes
Jablonec
Group L
Chelsea
PAOK
BATE Borisov
Vidi FC
Chelsea's group is complete...
Group L
Chelsea
PAOK
BATE Borisov
Vidi FC
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
FC Astana
Rennes
Jablonec
Group J
Sevilla
Krasnodar
Standard Liege
Akhisharspor
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Malmo
Sarpsborg
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Eintracht Frankfurt
Apollon Limassol
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Spartak Moscow
Rangers
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Real Betis
Dudelange
Arsenal's group is complete!
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Qarabag
FC Vorskla
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Dinamo Zagreb
Spartak Tranava
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Bordeaux
Slavia Prague
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
RB Leipzig
Rosenborg
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
FC Zurich
AEK Larnaca
The draw in full so far...
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
FC Zurich
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
RB Leipzig
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Bordeaux
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Dinamo Zagreb
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Qarabag
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Real Betis
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Spartak Moscow
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Frankfurt
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Malmo
Group J
Sevilla
Krasnodar
Standard Liege
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
FC Astana
Rennes
Group L
Chelsea
PAOK
BATE Borisov
Group L
Chelsea
PAOK
BATE Borisov
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
FC Astana
Rennes
Group J
Sevilla
Krasnodar
Standard Liege
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Malmo
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Frankfurt
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Spartak Moscow
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Real Betis
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Qarabag
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Dinamo Zagreb
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Bordeaux
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
RB Leipzig
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
FC Zurich
And now on to Pot Three...
(Few gremlins in the system earlier/I messed up. Refresh and it should all be fixed...)
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Group J
Sevilla
Krasnodar
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
FC Astana
Group L
Chelsea
PAOK
Group I
Besiktas
Genk
Updated
Group H
Lazio
Marseille
Updated
Group G
Villarreal
Rapid Vienna
Updated
Group F
Olympiakos
Milan
Group E
Arsenal
Sporting
Group D
Anderlecht
Fenerbache
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
FC Copenhagen
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Celtic
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Ludogorets
Now for the teams from Pot Two. I’ll go group-by-group from this point...
Crespo is first up, to allocate Pot One teams to a group. And here they are:
Group A
Bayer Leverkusen
Group B
Red Bull Salzburg
Group C
Zenit St Petersburg
Group D
Anderlecht
Group E
Arsenal
Group F
Olympiakos
Group G
Villarreal
Group H
Lazio
Group I
Besiktas
Group J
Sevilla
Group K
Dynamo Kiev
Group L
Chelsea
“Do you think Arsenal and Chelsea would rather end up with something like Milan, Spartak and Rangers or something like Astana, Qarabag and Sarpsborg?” asks Howard. “Second one’s obviously easier, but I can’t see people lining up to see it.”
I suspect that the first priority will be ease of travel, so as not to make those Thursday-Sunday splits too much of a ballache. Thus Genk, Rennes and Rangers is probably the dream.
You’ll be wondering who the ex-pros on hand are to awkwardly fiddle with those Kinder surprise balls - well wonder no more, because silky former Dutch midfielder Aron Winter strides onto the stage, followed by the magnificent Hernan Crespo. Winter won this pot with Ajax in 1992 and Inter in 1998, while Crespo bagged in the 1999 final for Parma, as they gubbed Marseille 3-0.
Vali Gasamov, who you don’t need me to tell you was an Azerbaijani striker who did the rounds of various Russian and Spanish clubs in the 80s and 90s, is on the stage as a representative of Baku, the venue for the final. He’s asked if football is popular in Azerbaijan. He says football is popular in Azerbaijan.
The coveted Europa League player of the year award, a gong with a storied history stretching all the way back to last year, is awarded to Antoine Griezmann. Undoubtedly his biggest achievement of 2018. He’s not there to collect it (Atleti are playing Celta Vigo tomorrow, so fair enough), but gives a gracious message of thanks from Madrid.
While we’re waiting, remember this one? I hadn’t, until it featured in the Big Uefa Montage they’re playing before the draw.
We’re on. It’s starting. Feel the tension.
Get settled in for this. The ‘show’ starts at 12pm BST, but there will be all sorts of guff to plough through first. The Europa League player of last season, for example: Antoine Griezmann, Diego Godin and Dmitri Payet are the three lucky punters up for that one. They’ll fill the rest of the time somehow, too.
As ever, clubs from the same country won’t be drawn together, plus for obvious political reasons, teams from Russia and Ukraine won’t either.
Also, some paired clubs: these are teams that won’t be playing at the same time as each other, for reasons of telly. If, for example, Sevilla are drawn in groups A, B, C, D, E or F, Betis will be assigned to the first available group of G, H, I, J, K or L.
Sevilla & Real Betis
Arsenal & Chelsea
Zenit & Spartak Moscow
Dynamo Kyiv & Vorskla
Beşiktaş & Fenerbahçe
Salzburg & Rapid Vienna
Olympiakos & PAOK
Anderlecht & Standard Liège
Lazio & AC Milan
Marseille & Bordeaux
Celtic & Rangers
RB Leipzig & Eintracht Frankfurt
Apollon Limassol & AEK Larnaca
Rosenborg & Sarpsborg
Slavia Prague & Jablonec
Pots
Pot one
Sevilla
Arsenal
Chelsea
Zenit St Petersburg
Bayer Leverkusen
Dynamo Kyiv
Beşiktaş
Red Bull Salzburg
Olympiakos
Villarreal
Anderlecht
Lazio
Pot two
Sporting Lisbon
Ludogorets
København
Marseille
Celtic
PAOK Salonika
AC Milan
Genk
Fenerbahçe
Krasnodar
Astana
Rapid Wien
Pot three
Real Betis
BATE Borisov
Qarabağ
Dinamo Zagreb
RB Leipzig
Eintracht Frankfurt
Malmö
Spartak Moscow
Standard Liège
FC Zürich
Bordeaux
Rennes
Pot four
Apollon
Rosenborg
Vorskla Poltava
Slavia Prague
Akhisar Belediyespor
Jablonec
AEK Larnaca
Vidi
Rangers
Dudelange
Spartak Trnava
Sarpsborg
Preamble
So then. Arsenal and Chelsea fans, sit up, take a sip of coffee, because you’re about to learn what you’re doing with your Thursday nights for the foreseeable. Rangers and Celtic are in too, although the great big stinky spoilsports at UEFA decree that two teams from the same country can’t be drawn against each other, so no European Old Firm game for the moment. They’ve never faced each other in Europe, incidentally. We’ll bring you the full pots and so forth shortly, but a brief spoiler: Rangers are in pot four, alongside Luxembourger minnows Dudelange.
Alas, Burnley will not compete this season, after they lost 4-2 on aggregate to Olympiakos, although given the size of their squad and how they’ve looked in their league games so far, that probably isn’t the worst news in the world.
So how will our brave boys approach this competition? As an inconvenience that will make an absolute horsing of their week, or their best chance to actually win a trophy this season? Both are true, but I guess it depends if you’re a half-full or half-empty type of person.
Any preference for who your team faces? Or if you don’t support any of the teams involved, who you would like to see play each other? Your thoughts, via email - Nick.Miller.casual@theGuardian.com - or Twitter - @NickMiller79 - are extremely welcome.
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