Are you sitting down? OK. You’re going to need to sit down for this.
Mel Kiper Jr. — ESPN’s NFL draft guru — revealed to his colleague Pablo Torre on ESPN Daily that he eats pizza in an extremely bizarre way.
He takes the slice of pizza he’s eating. He then takes the cheese off (!), grabs some mashed potatoes (!!!!!!!!!!) and puts them on the slice. Then, he keeps a little cheese on for flavor.
Look: I have had pizza with potatoes on it, and it is delicious. But this? This is not that.
“So mashed potatoes and pizza without cheese is what I do,” he told Torre. “I think I’m healthy because I’m not eating the cheese, right? I don’t eat the cheese, I just leave a little on there for the flavor. The cheese does give you the flavor, I do leave a little bit on … it’s mostly just the sauce and the dough, and then I put the mashed potatoes on it, and that’s what I do.”
Seriously. This is not a joke. This is what he does, and it’s not the first time he’s talked about it:
Remember: Get the pizza with cheese, THEN take it off — and add the mashed potatoes. Give it a shot.
— Mel Kiper Jr. (@MelKiperESPN) April 16, 2021
Mel. Please try straight up pizza with cheese and no mash potatoes. It will change your life.
