Q: I changed my age online to 62. I just think 62 sounds better than 65. What do you think?
_ Bernadette, 65, Washington
A: Ultimately, it's your account and you can do anything you like, but I would strongly recommend against lying about your age. Yes, you'll likely get more hits, but at what cost? To go out with someone and have him peeved to find out you lied? This is the number one complaint I get from male (and female, for what it's worth) clients. Just give it some thought.
Q: Unrelated to the pandemic, I was wondering if you can suggest a dating app for me because I'm not sure where I fall on the spectrum. I'm a 35-year-old single mom. I feel both too old and too young for most apps.
Second and entirely related to the pandemic, because I'm trying to reduce my risk and exposure, does it make sense for me to hold off on dating until the pandemic is truly over? I'm comfortable with physical distance visits with friends, but when it comes to dating, so much of chemistry is physical. OK, thanks so much!
_ Daphne, 35, San Diego
A: To answer your question, you're definitely not too old or too young for any of the apps. They really cover the whole spectrum of ages these days, so you're right in there. Bumble and Hinge are the most popular, and on both, you can specify that you have a child and whether you want more kids or not. I would definitely take advantage of those search criteria, too.
As for your second question, that's only something you can answer, unfortunately. But, I don't see meeting a date as any different from meeting your friends since, in both cases, you have no idea where or how they have been exposed. You just have to be cautious when seeing people, regardless of whether you know them or not. I personally think walking dates are more than OK, but I don't want to impart that on you or anyone else since everyone has a different view on COVID. Maybe no making out, though. ;)
Q: Thanks again for the chat last week. If you have a second, I'd love to know how you would suggest I respond to messages like the one I received from a girl I've seen a few times. We met before the pandemic, have been texting a lot and on FaceTime a few times, and even met for a social-distant walk last week. Since last week, she's been responding less, and now this:
"Hey, it's been a busy week, but this text is overdue _ sorry. I've been thinking a lot and I just don't see this going anywhere long term for me. I've really enjoyed getting to know you and think you're a great guy."
I totally get that this is going to happen to me and to anyone in the dating world more often than not, but I guess I'd like to learn something? Like, was there something I did that turned her off? I don't if it is appropriate to ask her anything, or if it's better to just say "Thanks for letting me know. Stay healthy!"
What do you think?
_ Tom, 33, Baltimore
A: First, I'm so glad she sent that vs. just pulling back or ghosting you, which entirely too many people do. If anything, it provides nice, mature closure. It usually just comes down to attraction, so I would not assume you did anything wrong at all. It's natural to question yourself, but in these cases, we will never know where there is a disconnect. I would always opt for the positive response of "Thanks for letting me know. Stay healthy!" that you suggested vs. asking for feedback. No one is honest when asked. ;)
