I got a call from a male client in his late 20s not too long ago asking how, based on his recap of events, I thought his first date went with a woman he had met online. I first asked, as I always do, "How did it end?" His response was, "Well, we made out a little." What!? You made out and weren't sure how the date went? If there was any question, it went well.
In many ways, men and women are different, but in many, we're also exactly the same. Deep down, we are all animals with basic needs and wants, and when we want something, we make it happen.
I often get asked the question, "Wouldn't he (or she) make time to see me if he really wanted to?" The short answer is yes. Of course, we are all busy, and there are always exceptions to the rule _ a business trip, an (often unexpectedly) crazy workweek, an illness, a friend in town _ but generally, if someone wants to see you, a slot of time will be carved out no matter what. Heck, I used to make plans at 10:15 at night when I was in business school. Class got out at 10:00, and I'd have dates meet me in Georgetown (near where my class was) right afterward for a drink. (And the drink was often much-needed after three hours of cost accounting or entrepreneurship. In hindsight, maybe I should have paid more attention to the entrepreneurship professor.) I could have gone to bed, but if I wanted to see someone, I made it happen. Even if your eyes are closing or you're headed out of town early the next day, you'll make the time.
I say this, a lot, to both my friends and my clients: "I don't believe in the expression 'I didn't have time.' " What that seemingly innocuous statement means to me is "I didn't make time," whether the person saying that chooses to believe it or not. If you have time to go to the bathroom, you have time to text someone back!
I agree with Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's teachings in "He's Just Not That Into You" _ if someone is not making time for you, ignore the excuses and move on. It's a good lesson to learn, for both men and women. You deserve someone's time. But, I also agree with the Erikaism, "He/she is just that into you." You'll know when someone is putting in the time to see you, whether it's convenient or not. As my mom used to say to me, "Eri, you'll know when he likes you." As much as I might hate to admit it sometimes, Mom is usually right.
This brings me back to my client's question. If a girl (or guy) is making out with you, chances are she likes you. It's her choice _ she could turn her head, say she's tired, any number of things _ but if you two are playing a rousing game of tonsil hockey, it's her choice, too. It takes two to tango.
