Q: I hope things are good with you. I think Marc and I are about done. We saw each other two weeks ago and have not really been in touch. He definitely has dropped texting me and checking in. I'm not really sure there's a reason, other than he may be more about the chase than the catch. He and I will find a time to talk (I hope!), but I thought I'd give you a heads up.
_ Jannie, 52, New York, NY
A: Oh, Jannie! I'm disappointed to hear this. Though, something seems amiss to me. I'd recommend calling him and just asking what's going on. The best way to get answers is to ask rather than assume. You may be right about the chase thing, or maybe not. Regardless, I don't like at all how he's pulled back with no indication. That's a red flag. But, rather than letting it go, talk it through and see what he has to say.
Q: We were chatting on Bumble, then I suggested a day to meet and gave her my number and never heard from her again. What did I do wrong? Here's what I said, "Reminisce post work with Pimms tomorrow or Thursday? (And I added my phone number)."
_ Bradley, 38, Washington, DC
A: My recommendation for next time is to ask her out but not shove your number at her, as you did. Most, if not all, women prefer to be contacted versus having to make the initial text contact. Also, there's no reason to exchange numbers, to begin with. Try scheduling the entire date right from the app. It will work much better. And a bit softer: "Would you be interested in ... ?" will work much better. Your "ask" was a bit abrasive. These pointers are all for future matches, though.
For her, it's not looking good since it's been over two weeks. But, here's what you can try:
"Hey there! Sorry if I came off as too direct. Just thought we'd enjoy chatting over a drink. Unless you got married in the last two weeks (you never know! :)), would you be interested in meeting sometime this week or next?"
NOTE: It worked!
Q: After four dates with a guy I really, really like, but with whom do not feel a romantic connection (at all), can I still break it off by text? It isn't about what's comfortable for me; he's such a great guy, and I don't want to string him along. Do you have a suggestion (you're so good at these notes).
_ Sherry, 34, Atlanta, GA
A: To answer your question, it will be okay to break things off via text after the fourth date (though a call would be a bit nicer and more personal), assuming that's been your primary means of communication, yes? If so, then I recommend saying something like this below. Remember that the key is tact and honesty.
Hey there, ___ _ ! I just wanted to let you know that I've really enjoyed getting to know you over these four dates. Thank you again for everything. I gave it some thought recently, and unfortunately, the romantic connection I'm looking for just isn't there for me, but I think you're great and only wish the best for you. I'd be happy to chat, if you'd like. Thank you again.
