As a dating coach, I get a lot of questions from clients:
_ What are you supposed to write in an online dating message?
_ Where should I go on a first date, and how long should it ideally last?
_ Is there a way to increase your chances of having chemistry with someone?
_ How long should I wait to contact someone after a first date?
_ What happens if I don't want to see someone again, but he/she asked me out?
While all of these are excellent questions, the one question I get the most frequently is this: Is there a best time of the year to do online dating? In short, the answer is no. (Not what you thought, right?) The best time for you to try online dating is when you're emotionally ready for it. For example, a woman recently wanted to work with me, but when I started asking her questions about past relationships, she told me that she had just broken up with someone several days before ... after a three-year relationship! I kindly suggested that she may want to take the time to heal emotionally first before I help her get back out there.
Once you're good and ready, whatever that means to you, there is one time of year that it may suit you well to log on: the week between Christmas and New Year's ... all the way though Valentine's Day, with the Sunday night after New Year's being the busiest night of the year.
There are two main reasons for this busy period: Loneliness and time to reflect around the holidays and New Year's resolutions. I can attest to the latter because my phone starts ringing off the hook in January! Just like with the gym (I hate when my machines aren't available right after the new year), the dating market gets crowded. Researchers believe the increase in volume may also come from the spare time people have over the holidays, and how they gravitate toward their computers and phones. I don't know about you, but I definitely took a brief respite from family time over Thanksgiving to listen to my podcasts on my phone.
As for the New Year's resolutions, in order to "find love," "fall in love," "meet someone," or however you've expressed it, you have to do something about it rather than just put it out into the universe. That something, according to the statistics, is to look for love online. It's important to remember, though, that online dating does take work. It's not simply about writing a few lines as quickly as you can. And, it's not about just waiting to see who messages you in the first week. It's about being unique, interesting, proactive, and, perhaps most important, patient. Equally important is taking the time to ensure you're putting your best foot forward with flattering, recent photos, a profile that truly represents who you are without sounding generic ("I am just as comfortable in a little black dress as I am in jeans and a t-shirt" will not make the cut), and a positive attitude.
If you're not ready to join an online dating site this holiday season, that's okay. The right time for you may be in the summer or next year. But, when you do feel ready, I can't urge you strongly enough not to miss out on joining an online dating site. Even if it's not the holiday season, there's never a "bad time of year." Many clients use this as an excuse to procrastinate on joining, waiting for a better time. The time is whenever you're ready.
So, maybe this year is the year to find love and maybe it's not, but for what it's worth, signing up and going full speed ahead with online dating on December 26th isn't a bad idea. At least you know you'll be in good company.
