A question I get all the time, from clients and strangers alike, is “Do dating apps work?”
Here’s the thing: Any app can be efficient or successful, depending on what you put out there and how proactive you are in the process. If you put up six mediocre pictures and no writeup and expect to attract quality people, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Dating apps *are* an effective tool in meeting someone (notice that I didn’t say “finding a relationship,” since that’s solely based on the two people involved). But, there are a few rules of thumb you should abide by to give yourself the best chance:
Let’s talk about photos:
Make the first picture a clear shot of your face. People just want to see who is going to show up on the date. Nothing more, nothing less.
Include a full-body shot. Provide people with a sense of what you look like so they don’t have to invent it.
Be by yourself in the shot. Trust me here. It's important for the viewer to know which person you are in the photos. Don’t worry that someone wonders whether you have friends. First, no one is thinking about it, and second, what if they find your friend cuter than you?
Have one photo of yourself doing something interesting. Most people have no idea what to write in the initial message, so give them some “message bait.”
Less is more. Four great photos will always win over six or more mediocre photos. People will, unfortunately, look for the one they don’t like and decide not to swipe right because of it.
As for the profile itself, on apps like Bumble and Hinge, write something short, sweet, and quirky. Here are three examples:
Two truths and a lie: 1) My beverage of choice is Scotch, 2) I was born outside the US, 3) I have a dog named Scruffy.
Things I like: Pizza (only with red sauce, white is a travesty!), Ted Lasso, my job in finance, and spontaneous games of ping pong.
Entrepreneur, pun-maker, crossword puzzler… math jokes and whiskey make me swoon. Like a cupcake with a jalapeno in the middle — sweet with a kick!
Now, let’s talk about the messages. Make them short, sweet, and end with a question. Just remember that *anything* is better than “Hey,” or “What’s up?”
Examples for when no “message bait” is provided:
You seem like a genuinely happy person … am I right?
*Pizza emoji* or *sushi emoji*?
If you had nothing to do today, would you rather go running or drink a bottle of wine … or both? No judgment!
And finally, let’s talk about the actual date. If you match with someone on a Sunday, try to have the date set up by the next Sunday (basically, keep it within a week). Momentum is key, as people have shorter and shorter attention spans.
So, do dating apps work? Of course. But you have to put in the work, follow this advice, and show up for your dates ready and excited to meet someone new. There are no guarantees as to how well you’ll click with someone, whether dating online or not, but you might as well give yourself the best chance.
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