I had my first jab at Leyton Orient’s ground last week.
Amazingly, the consulting room had an unreal view of the pitch – just shy of the halfway line, nice and high up.
The bloke who jabbed me was an Orient fan, and clearly motivated both by altruism and the fact he was able to watch his team play in spite of the ban on spectators.
“It’s been brilliant,” he said, “I’ve seen pretty much every game.
"In fact, I’ve been volunteering to do Tuesday nights. The only difficulty is trying to concentrate when we score.”
Not a problem, I said, the way Orient have been going.
Bad move. His eyes narrowed and he looked around for a bigger needle. “This,” he said, “is really going to hurt.”
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There was my lesson for the week: never mock a man’s football team when he’s about to stick a needle in you.
There was a brief second where I thought I might get my second jab – and a third, fourth and fifth one – right there and then.
But he kept his cool and I skipped out into the little bit of sunshine we had last week – half-vaccinated, fully happy.
I hadn’t realised the sheer power of the vaccine bounce: We just want out of this and it seems to be going relatively well.
The vaccine, coupled with the fact you can go to the pub now, makes it seem almost churlish to pick fights with a government that made it happen.
For a brief instant I had the unsettling sensation that if they could organise a vaccination programme like this then maybe, maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to vote Conservative.
But that passed extremely quickly and when I checked the bit of paper they give you when you go in I noticed that a “sudden swing in deeply-held principles” was listed as one of the possible side-effects.
Just below nausea and diarrhoea.
Despite this vaccine bounce, it’s important to remember that this government was ill-prepared after a decade of austerity and inequality.
It is responsible for PPE scandals, care homes, needless deaths, incompetence, botched advice and disregard for science.
Even the nurse who looked after Boris Johnson has packed it in, upset that someone who had been so vocal about being saved by the NHS won’t pay staff properly.
At the same time, lots of people have made lots of money. There have been a record number of new billionaires created since the pandemic began.
Another thing I read says nine new billionaires have a combined wealth that would be enough to fully vaccinate everyone in low-income countries.
So we have to remember what this lot are really about and how much they love it when the rich get richer.
And while you enjoy the pub, the restaurant, the shops and the cinema, keep in the back of your mind that we’ve been very lucky to get through this and better people would have handled it better.
Also, please sign my petition to get a bit added to the vaccine advice sheet recommending you leave at least 24 hours between getting your injection and any form of voting.
In fact, make it 48 hours. Just to be on the safe side.
