The last selfie I posted from my 30s was filtered to oblivion. I resembled a robot more closely than I did a human being. And why? Because I was scared of looking at myself. I was inundated quickly with comments from friends listing everything to look forward to about being fortysomething. One thing came out top: not giving two hoots what you look like, and realising that you never really needed to worry anyway. And women in their 40s across the country tend to agree. So let’s celebrate what makes ageing an empowering process beauty-wise …
‘I’ve made peace with my body, and it shows’
Le’Nise Brothers, 40, nutritionist and yoga teacher, London
The older I get, the more comfortable I feel in my skin. When I was younger I felt like I was fighting with myself. Now, if I lose five pounds then it’s not because I hate my stomach; it just is. My body is capable of amazing things and I’m grateful for it every day. I know that sounds “woo woo”, but I’m a yoga teacher, so allow it. I used to be a chaotic person but yoga and focusing on my breath has made me calmer, and that peace shows in my appearance. I still wear makeup every day, but I see beauty as a way of enhancing how I feel now rather than changing who I am.
‘Ageing doesn’t mean losing your value’
Rainy Dias, 42, trainee teacher, North Yorkshire
The most beautiful thing about ageing is having a stronger sense of who you are. You’re more self-assured, you’re not trying to climb a greasy pole, you value things that are genuinely important to you. And you have a better understanding of how to take care of yourself. I’ve recently become interested in active ingredients such as vitamin C and glycolics. Skincare can get quite technical, but it’s interesting to feel and see the difference those ingredients make.
‘Lipstick gives me power when I feel powerless’
Keeley Dwight, 41, commercials producer, Essex
I’ve only recently locked into the strength and confidence that red lipstick gives you. In fact, I was renowned for not wearing makeup. But in the last six years I’ve had eight rounds of IVF. I am still trying to be a mum. The lows have been beyond low. With fertility treatment, a lot of the time I don’t feel in control of what’s happening to me. I started wearing a bold red lip to medical appointments as it made me feel feminine when other elements of being female – getting pregnant – were difficult for me. Now I wear lippy every day because it gives me the confidence to take on the world.
‘I’m extremely lucky to look how I do’
Faye Bethany Smith, 45, fire breather, West Yorkshire
In my 40s, I’ve learned that you don’t need to give a hoot what other people think. Makeup empowers me to look how I feel on the inside; it’s been a fundamental part of my transition. I believe you can be anyone or do anything you want, you just have to have the will to do it. My looks are everything to me: I’m extremely lucky to be a trans woman and look how I do at my age. Every trans woman lives in fear when she walks out the door. Some people shout abuse in the street but I look at that negativity as jealousy or ignorance. I’m my biggest critic, but I look at myself in the mirror and know I look good.
‘I’ve earned my lines’
Angharad Heath-Williams, 42, lecturer, Crickhowell, Powys
If your 40s teaches you anything, it’s that you can’t live a lie. You have to be yourself. But there’s a growing culture of getting stuff fixed. On tired days I’m tempted to experiment with Botox, but I’ve earned my lines. I’m drawn to people who look interesting – I think that’s more powerful than beauty-by-numbers. My life experience is what makes me different. I might look more tired these days, but internally I’m getting to the roots of myself. Growing up, you want to be like other people. In your 40s you want to be yourself.
‘I like being more invisible now’
Natasha Chiverton-Bulstrode, 45, makeup artist, Dorset
I felt disquieted by the attention I got 20 years ago. I was a six-foot tall blonde with big boobs and a 23-inch waist. It was too much. I still like my height and my hair but I enjoy being less visible now. I appreciate different things about myself: my strength, my brows, my pelvic floor. Empowerment comes from being curious about where the ageing process is going. Not mournful, not dreading getting older, just interested. In your 40s you’re forced to look at yourself inside and out. That’s where beauty comes in. I’m not so insecure that I can’t ask for advice any more. Fortysomething women confidently question everything.
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