STUMPS: England 46-4
That is officially that. It’s been action-packed, and has featured some brilliant swing bowling from Stokes and Anderson, and some hostile seam bowling under dark skies and bright lights from West Indies. At the end of it, well, it’s probably honours approximately even.
I’ll be back for more tomorrow, though the forecast is miserable: between 11am and 6pm the chance of rain, according to current predictions, is never less than 50%, rising to 75% or more between 1pm and 4pm. It’s been raining wickets today, tomorrow it’ll just be raining, with occasional outbreaks of cricket. See you then!
Bad light stops play England will be delighted about this development. It’s also raining a little. If it’s neither lighter nor drier in six minutes, the day will officially be declared over.
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19th over: England 46-4 (Malan 13, Stokes 13) A shot of a flapping flag informs us that in addition to being dark, it’s also very windy. Stokes hits a very fine shot through midwicket for four, and at the end of the over the umpires get together for a chat, presumably about the fact it’s basically pitch black.
18th over: England 42-4 (Malan 13, Stokes 9) Malan clips the ball straight down into the ground, and has to spin and lunge to make sure it doesn’t bounce into the stumps. These are wild times, in which it seems absolutely anything can happen. The next ball is edged, but doesn’t carry anywhere near the slip cordon.
17th over: England 40-4 (Malan 11, Stokes 9) Malan gets a four and a three, the latter greatly assisted by the fielder chasing a gently rolling ball diving too early and missing it entirely.
@Simon_Burnton That sound you hear is laughter from the Australian bowlers.
— Mick Collins (@mickcollins) September 7, 2017
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16th over: England 33-4 (Malan 4, Stokes 9) Two fours for Stokes off successive deliveries from Roach, the latter a fine drive wide of midwicket, but then the last ball is gorgeous, straightening off the seam and missing the stumps by that much.
@Simon_Burnton what odds on Jimmy getting his 500th wicket today after all?
— Morgan Leafy (@Morgan_Leafy) September 7, 2017
15th over: England 24-4 (Malan 4, Stokes 0) That was a poor shot from Root, the ball pitched short and heading just wide of his ribs, well over the stumps. There was no need to play it at all. Lord’s is silent, and tense. West Indies’ 123 isn’t looking quite as bad now.
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WICKET! Root c Powell b Holder 1 (England 24-4)
That’s a fine catch from Powell at first slip! He looked to his left, waited for Dowrich to move, realised Dowrich wasn’t moving, and at the very last moment flung out his hands – the ball sticks, and England’s captain has gone! Holder is on a hat-trick!
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14th over: England 24-3 (Root 1, Malan 4) Three of Westley’s last four innings have ended with him on precisely eight. His average over his last five Test innings is 7.2. “Good England tactic here,” writes Mark Hooper. “Get their specialist batsmen in as soon as possible.”
Well at least Westley is consistent. He has scored 8 in each of his last three tests.#ENGvWI @Simon_Burnton
— Benjamin Parker (@bnjmnprkr) September 7, 2017
13th over: England 19-3 (Root 0, Malan 0) That’s a lovely shot from Westley, clipping the ball off his pads through midwicket for four! It’s his last, though – he’s out to Holder’s final delivery.
WICKET! Westley lbw b Holder 8 (England 19-3)
Westley’s caught on his pads! He doesn’t seem happy about it, and strolls down the pitch to chat to his captain, who tells him to start walking. This, it transpires, was a good decision.
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12th over: England 15-2 (Westley 4, Root 0) These remain filthy conditions for the batsmen. The lights are on, the clouds are thick and grey, the ball is shiny, the bowlers are fast and there are four slips and a gully lined up behind the bat. England are batting as if survival is the only goal, but Cook’s innings ends after 43 balls and 10 awkward runs. England are notalot for two again.
WICKET! Cook c Dowrich b Roach 10 (England 15-2)
The last ball of Roach’s over nicks the shoulder of Cook’s bat and is easily caught!
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11th over: England 15-1 (Cook 10, Westley 4) Another maiden, from Holder. Joe Hart is in attendance, so if Cook needs anyone to talk to about disappointingly failing to catch things, he’s in luck.
10th over: England 15-1 (Cook 10, Westley 4) Westley rolls the ball to midwicket and runs a reasonaly sharp single. The fielder hits the stumps with his throw, but Cook’s comfortably home. Then Cook hits through cover for a couple. Three off the over, which is exciting. West Indies were 18-0 after 10 overs.
9th over: England 12-1 (Cook 8, Westley 3) Cook is making some lovely shots now, though he isn’t actually timing any of them. There’s been a handsome pull that sent the ball bouncing gently to midwicket, and a back-foot swipe that sent it bobbling lazily through cover for a couple.
8th over: England 10-1 (Cook 6, Westley 3) “I’ve been doing some stats digging while waiting to meet my girlfriend’s mother at Euston station,” declares tom Bowtell, encouragingly. “Stokes now has three six-fors in Tests which represent 18 out of 95 wickets or 18.9%. This seems high – Jimmy, for example, has only taken 5% of his wickets in 6-fers and even Streaky Broad has only taken 16.5% of his wickets in 6-or-more-fors (although seven 6-fors, two 7-fors and one 8-for is quite good going).”
7th over: England 8-1 (Cook 6, Westley 1) In which Westley gets off the mark with a leg-side single.
6th over: England 7-1 (Cook 6, Westley 0) It’s a dark late afternoon in north London, with most of what light there is coming from the floodlights. Still difficult conditions for batting, and Gabriel is rapid. A maiden. England’s last four second-wicket partnerships, meanwhile: 23, 7, 25, 14. There have at least been four 50+ contributions this summer, two of them involving these batsmen.
5th over: England 7-1 (Cook 6, Westley 0) Cook sends the ball down to third man for four, in time-honoured fashion. This was only the third single-figure first-wicket partnership of England’s summer, but another four ended without reaching 20 and they have only once exceeded 35.
4th over: England 2-1 (Cook 1, Westley 0) Gabriel befuddles Westley with a 93mph stonker that squares him up, straightens and flicks the batsman’s trousers on its way through, the noise provoking a loud but unsuccessful appeal. Excellent bowling, though.
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3rd over: England 1-1 (Cook 0, Westley 0) Westley is welcomed with a big inswinger that ends up thumping him in the thigh. Perhaps England should have let West Indies bat for another hour or so.
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WICKET! Stoneman c Dowrich b Roach 1 (England 1-1)
Stoneman leaves Roach’s first three deliveries, but the good judgement doesn’t last and he nibbles at the next. Dowrich takes an easy catch.
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2nd over: Cook 0, Stoneman 1 (England 1-0) Gabriel’s over starts with a single for Stoneman and ends with a fine delivery to Cook, sliding across him and just missing the edge.
1st over: Cook 0, Stoneman 0 (England 0-0) A largely stress-free maiden to start proceedings.
That’s the sixth-lowest score by a Test team batting first after winning the toss at Lord’s, and West Indies are back out to defend it:
Lowest scores opting to bat first vs Eng at Lord's:
— Deepu Narayana (@deeputalks) September 7, 2017
53 Aus, 1896
58 SA, 1912
96 Ind, 1979
100 Pak, 1962
116 Aus, 1888
123 WI, 2017#ENGvWI
Stokes’s bowling in full. A disappointing start, I’m sure you’ll agree:
4-2-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-W-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1lb-0-0-0-0-0-1nb-0-1-W-1-W-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-1nb-4*-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-4-0-0-0-0-0-0-W-0-0-0-W-W
* An edge
WICKET! Gabriel b Stokes 0 (West Indies 123 all out)
A wild inswinger clatters middle stump, the innings is over and Anderson’s going to have to wait for his 500th wicket!
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WICKET! Roach c Anderson b Stokes 0 (West Indies 123-9)
That’s a five-fer for Stokes, and a lovely diving catch from Anderson, flying from fourth slip to collect the ball in front of third!
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57th over: West Indies 123-8 (Bishoo 13, Roach 0) Ooooh! Bishoo edges the first for four, and then finally Anderson sends in an inswinger, and the batsman has not a clue about it, raising his bat helpfully as the ball streaks towards the stumps, missing them by barely an inch! The best ball of the over comes two deliveries later, heading towards the batsman, straightening and passing just over off stump. Even after two slow-motion replays of it missing it still looks certain to take off the bails. And then he repeats the dose a few times, the batsman a mere spectator. That’s beautiful bowling. Fabulous.
56th over: West Indies 119-8 (Bishoo 9, Roach 0) Stokes, refreshed by a brief break, keeps bowling, and the ball keeps swinging. It is moving a lot, making batting wildly hazardous. It’s a wicket maiden, and Stokes is one away from a five-fer.
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WICKET! Holder b Stokes 9 (West Indies 119-8)
Holder is done by the inswinger! The ball starts off wide, Holder leaves it, and it’s a big mistake. The way he snaps his head back as the bails fly, as if he’s just heard a noise behind him and has absolutely no idea what it might have been, is classic.
55th over: West Indies 119-7 (Holder 9, Bishoo 9) Anderson gets the ball to swing away from Bishoo. And then he does it again. And again. And another time. Bishoo doesn’t get close to any of these deliveries, or need to, or try to. He’s waiting for the inswinger, but it never comes. It’s a maiden, which allows you to bring you this excellent fact while it remains accurate:
Devendra Bishoo on 499 career Test runs is now facing a bowler Jimmy Anderson with 499 career Test wickets!#EngvWI
— Mohandas Menon (@mohanstatsman) September 7, 2017
The players are back out, and Jimmy Anderson is going to bowl the first, and 55th, over. Surely – surely – the 500th wicket will come before bedtime.
TEA: West Indies 119-7
54th over: West Indies 119-7 (Holder 9, Bishoo 9) Dropped! The 13th over of Stokes’s spell, and Holder edges just to the left of Root, who gets two hands to it but can’t hold on. The next, inevitably, goes four four. And that is the last significant action of the session, which has been a fine one for England and in which Stokes has been outstanding.
53rd over: West Indies 115-7 (Holder 5, Bishoo 9) Broad is currently off the field, being treated for a “sore heel”. Anderson goes round the wicket for his final three deliveries, the first of which is lovely, angled into Bishoo and moving away, and the last is much the same. The one in between, as with a few before he switched angles, was too wide to be really threatening. One more over before tea.
UPDATE: Stuart Broad has a sore left heel and is currently being treated.
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) September 7, 2017
Follow the match action here: https://t.co/CyyqfdOCGy pic.twitter.com/HwnVlajKok
52nd over: West Indies 115-7 (Holder 5, Bishoo 9) There’s a delicious late-swinging yorker here, which zips an inch wide of off stump. But Bishoo survives that, and even gets a real, proper run off the meat of his bat.
51st over: West Indies 114-7 (Holder 5, Bishoo 8) Jimmy’s back! And his second delivery goes just past the edge of Holder’s bat. And it’s that kind of over, in which Holder repeatedly feels compelled to push towards the ball and repeatedly gets away with it. A maiden, and that 500th wicket surely can’t be far off.
50th over: West Indies 114-7 (Holder 5, Bishoo 8) Stokes is called for another no ball, and the next ball’s a peach! It’s swinging into the batsman, who’s extraordinarily fortunate to get a thin inside edge on the ball and end up with a boundary to his credit instead of a trudge back to the pavilion. Bishoo’s eight runs have come courtesy of two streaky edges.
49th over: West Indies 109-7 (Holder 5, Bishoo 4) Moeen continues, though at least there’s a second slip there to deal with the next thick edge that flies wide of Stokes. Inevitably, there isn’t one. There is an inside edge, but it only sends the ball into the bottom of Baistow’s pad.
48th over: West Indies 106-7 (Holder 2, Bishoo 4) Given what Stokes is doing to the batsmen at the moment, it seems puzzling that Anderson isn’t having a go. There’s nearly another wicket here but it’s got little to do with the bowler, Holder pushing the ball to TRJ at cover and going for an optimistic single. Bishoo would have been just short had the fielder’s throw hit the stumps, and it didn’t miss by much.
47th over: West Indies 106-7 (Holder 2, Bishoo 4) Again the first ball of a Moeen over is edged high but wide of Stokes and away for four! Meanwhile, some reading for you:
@Simon_Burnton Looking back at the 100th Test at Lord's in 2000, as England sneak past the West Indies: https://t.co/bjLZA7ZqF8 #ENGvWI
— Steve Pye (@1980sSportsBlog) September 7, 2017
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46th over: West Indies 102-7 (Holder 2, Bishoo 0) A maiden from Stokes, which ends with a delivery that swings in a bit and keeps swinging, hitting Holder’s foot but on its way down the leg side. “Regarding what has gone right with Cook in the slips the debate must switch to the pressure he is now coping with following his brief failure to adapt to the new pressure of not having the old pressure of the captaincy,” writes Ian Copestake. “Under so much pressure is it a wonder that the pressure is no longer telling.”
45th over: West Indies 102-7 (Holder 2, Bishoo 0) Featuring a single for Holder and a loud, solo and entirely puzzling appeal from Bairstow as Bishoo defends the ball, which was nowhere near his pads at any point.
Absolute jaffa from Stokes to dismiss Chase.
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) September 7, 2017
LIVE: https://t.co/Cyyqfe6dy6 pic.twitter.com/ZM3CQDPDSC
44th over: West Indies 101-7 (Holder 1, Bishoo 0) Well that was all-action. It started with Dowrich finally getting off the mark with a single from his 18th delivery. Just as well, because it means he doesn’t have to face the next ball, which heads towards leg stump, straightens and clips the top of off. An absolute stonker. Still, it’s not much of a let-off for Dowrich, and after a quick single from Holder his number’s up. Stokes is getting the ball to move all over the place at the moment, and the batsmen have no answers.
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WICKET! Dowrich c Cook b Stokes 1 (West Indies 101-7)
The batsman walks, the umpire raises his finger, the fielding side celebrates! There’s some doubt about whether it carried, but it only takes one replay to answer it – that’s a fine low catch from the once-again reliable Cook.
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WICKET! Chase b Stokes 18 (West Indies 100-6)
That’s a lovely delivery, and it clips the top of off stump with Chase befuddled!
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43rd over: West Indies 99-5 (Chase 18, Dowrich 0) Some spin, for the first time today, and Moeen’s very first delivery takes a thick edge and flies over the right shoulder of Stokes, at first and only slip. That’s the highlight of the over, one that also includes a rank full toss, driven away for a couple.
42nd over: West Indies 93-5 (Chase 12, Dowrich 0) Stokes bowls full and wide, and Dowrich chases after it like a game puppy, though he gets nothing on it. Then a wild inswinger, which looks to be heading towards off stump before careering towards the batsman’s groin. The next goes even further, swinging way down the leg side. The last ball is a fine one, tempting the batsman again, taking an edge and bouncing into the hands of second slip. But it’s a no-ball, and the seventh delivery again slides across the batsman and well wide.
41st over: West Indies 92-5 (Chase 12, Dowrich 0) A boundary! The first four more than six overs, in which one wicket had fallen and one run had been scored off the bat. But then Chase pulls Roland-Jones, and the dark days are over.
40th over: West Indies 88-5 (Chase 8, Dowrich 0) Having troubled Chase in his previous over by bowling straight at him, this time Stokes is all over the place – he bowls across the batsman and wide, he bowls straight and wide, he bowls short and straight, and finally he bowls full, it swings into the pads and there’s a leg bye.
39th over: West Indies 87-5 (Chase 8, Dowrich 0) Another maiden, bowled by Rowland-Jones to Dowrich. Tim is busily forwarding me all the emails he never quite got round to, in which you fine people demonstrate your enormous range of disappointing jokes about philosophers. Here’s Nick Parkhouse: “Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, ‘I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.’ The waitress replies, ‘I’m sorry, monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?’”
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38th over: West Indies 87-5 (Chase 8, Dowrich 0) Good afternoon Tim! Hello everybody! Stokes chases Chase all over the place here, the batsman trying to leave a shortish delivery, misjudging it and accidentally deflecting it into the turf and to third slip, and then appearing completely nonplussed by a ball that attacked his left ankle. Maiden.
And here is Simon Burnton to take you through the rest of the day. Thanks for all the emails, tweets and philosophical jokes.
37th over: West Indies 87-5 (Chase 8, Dowrich 0) They took drinks at the fall of that wicket, with England suddenly rampant. Blackwood was out slogging, which shows a certain insouciance when your team are in this much trouble. And Roland-Jones again showed his ability to come up with a wicket, even when not at his best.
A good question from Shariq Gilani. “Was there a hint of back-foot no-ball on the Kieran Powell wicket? Umpires have generally stopped enforcing it as it’s difficult to check in real time, but now that they go upstairs for marginal decisions, it seems like they could check this as well.”
Wicket! Blackwood b Roland-Jones 1 (WI 87-5)
Blackwood’s aggression gets the better of him as he plays all around a regulation straight ball from TRJ. This is now a collapse.
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36th over: West Indies 87-4 (Chase 8, Blackwood 1) Blackwood, not one to linger on 0, is away with a push into the covers. A good over, says Ian Botham, who think Stokes has rediscovered the ability to swing it both ways.
“You don’t know what you’ve started,” says Rupert Smith, apropos philosophical jokes. “I should really save this for something to do during the rain that’s forecast for tomorrow, but:
“Three logicians walk into a bar. The barman says ‘Would you all like the usual?’
‘I don’t know,’ says the first logician.
‘I don’t know,’ says the second.
Then the third logician says, ‘Yes, we would!’
“I have far worse.”
35th over: West Indies 86-4 (Chase 8, Blackwood 0) Roston Chase, who is less agricultural than his name suggests, is into the groove with an elegant clip off TRJ, after getting off the mark with something more streaky to fine leg.
And Jonathan Gresty is back. “Answer to John Withington’s question [over 32]: a TRJ wicket. Keep them coming, John!”
34th over: West Indies 78-4 (Chase 0, Blackwood 0) So the boulder that Powell and Hope had pushed half-way up the hill has now slid back to the bottom. It’s a brutal game sometimes.
And Geoff Wignall has picked his team for the next Test in Brisbane. “If the Ashes side is to be based purely on form, then let’s start the Collingwood/ Stevens bandwagon now.
“Otherwise: Cook, Hameed, Hales, Root, Barstow, Stokes, Ali, Woakes, TRJ, Crane, Anderson. 12th man: Wood. Gold watch award: Broad.” Oof.
Wicket! Powell c & b Stokes 39 (WI 78-4)
One brings two! Stokes, finding some swing, persuades Powell to push it back, and takes a sharp catch. England are well on top now.
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33rd over: West Indies 78-3 (Powell 39, Chase 0) Roland-Jones overpitches and Hope plays a handsome cover drive for four. “Lovely, lovely shot,” says David Gower, which is like being complimented on your writing style by Tom Stoppard. But next minute, all Hope is gone, as Alastair Cook beams with relief. Credit to Root for keeping him at first slip.
Wicket! Hope c Cook b Roland-Jones 29 (WI 78-3)
Cook holds a catch! Textbook stuff from TRJ, seaming up the hill and taking the edge.
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32nd over: West Indies 74-2 (Powell 39, S Hope 25) A maiden from Stokes to Powell. One ball in each of the past two overs has taken off, sending Bairstow into the stratosphere. A pitch that promised to be a pudding is now threatening to become a trampoline.
“That’s a cracking Descartes joke,” says John Withington [29th over]. “But what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question …?”
31st over: West Indies 74-2 (Powell 39, S Hope 25) Powell shovels Roland-Jones for three to midwicket, not getting hold of it but bringing up a fine, fighting 50 partnership – further evidence that these West Indians are coming of age.
Julian Farino has a question, which luckily is not too philosophical. “Been meaning to ask all summer, and now seems an appropriately quiet moment for you to put me out of my misery: what are the numbers that appear on the players’ shirts underneath the crest? They seem random - 678, 292, 302, 658… are we in Dan Brown territory? Does it relate to online betting? Cricket bingo?” It’s the player’s place in England Test history.
30th over: West Indies 71-2 (Powell 36, S Hope 25) Ben Stokes, under-used on that last day at Headingley, comes on for his first bowl here. He finds Powell’s edge instantly, but it’s a controlled edge that goes for four through the vacant gully, and Powell picks up a few more on the leg side. The last ball, touching 86mph, may be the fastest of the day.
Matt Potter is back for more. “After having my error pointed out (idiot), I would like to think that one of the Stokes could be replaced by TRJ, slotting in after Woakes, with the remaining Stokes staying at 5. Although that would lead to having five seamers, and how many seamers is too many seamers? Can you have too many seamers? If so, maybe a second spinner? Or Hales AND Buttler? Is that too attacking? Does it matter? I’m losing the plot. You tell me your 11!”
29th over: West Indies 64-2 (Powell 29, S Hope 25) Roland-Jones bowls a yorker, which Powell blocks for three through mid-off. TRJ then curls a lovely outswinger past Hope’s drive, before Hope tucks him to square leg for four. Good contest.
An email comes in from Ben Parker. “Good idea from Matt Potter [24th over] to have a back-up Stokes in case the regular Stokes gets banned for saying naughty words in Australia.”
And here’s Peter Salmon, picking up on my non-memories of philosophy (25th over). “Astonished you don’t remember philosophy being about jokes. Have you forgotten the classic: Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The barman says ‘Do you want a drink?’ Descartes says, ‘I think not!’ and disappears.” Lol.
28th over: West Indies 57-2 (Powell 26, S Hope 21) Hope breaks the run of dots with a leg glance, picking up a cheap four because England, puzzlingly, have no fine leg. Broad beats his inside edge next ball and utters a throaty appeal, but it’s so high that not even Broad is demanding a review.
27th over: West Indies 53-2 (Powell 26, S Hope 17) Another maiden, from Roland-Jones. I’ve forgotten it already. But at least the emails are pouring in. “Afternoon Tim.” Afternoon, Ben Powell. “Prior’s 11 looks to be a 12, or is it a 10 with the inclusion of Stokes twice. Or to look at it another way: is Stokes a sub-set of Stokes and, if so, will the pressure of being both Stokes and a subset of Stokes materially affect his batting and bowling averages equally or in inverse proportion to his Stokes-y-ness?” And there we have it: the Platonic ideal of the unanswerable question.
“Hi Tim (again, sorry!).” No need to apologise, Jonathan Gresty. “A quick check on Google reveals yours may be the first ever use of the compound verb ‘to square-squirt’ (I shall check some of the leading text corpora later to confirm this). What a glorious privilege you have as OBO commentator to create new words - I am delighted you are taking full advantage of it! As well as being the first Lord’s test in September, this will go down as the first in which this essential cricketing term was used.” Do I detect a trace of sarcasm?
26th over: West Indies 53-2 (Powell 26, S Hope 17) Broad continues, and gets the last ball past Hope’s edge, but his figures of 11-5-20-0 are decidedly flattering.
Our next armchair selector is Rob Jacques. “Inspired by Matt Potter [24th over], I’d go with: Root, Root, Root, Root, Root, Bairstow, Moeen, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.”
25th over: West Indies 53-2 (Powell 26, S Hope 17) Root wasn’t insulting Roland-Jones after all – he was waiting to give him the Pavilion end, where he bowls for Middlesex. So Anderson stays on 499 for now. And Sod’s law sees to it that TRJ struggles with the slope after the switch, so Powell cuts a wide long-hop for four to bring up West Indies’ 50. They’ve applied themselves well.
“Comedy Gold,” says Keiran Betteley. “Takes me back to my days studying philosophy. What’s yellow and equivalent to the axiom of choice?”
Search me. I did a bit of philosophy, badly, and I don’t remember there being any jokes.
“Zorn’s Lemon.”
Ah. “Trust me, in a room full of analytic philosophers and mathematicians, that one has them rolling in the aisles.”
24th over: West Indies 48-2 (Powell 22, S Hope 16) Broad continues, and tries a yorker on off stump, but Powell digs it out. Broad has been so good at times to left-handers that it’s frustrating to see him being mediocre today.
More excitingly, Matt Potter has picked his XI for the Ashes. “Cook, Hameed, Root, Buttler/Hales*, Stokes, Bairstow, Stokes, Moeen, Woakes, Broad, Anderson.
“*Other fast-scoring players may be available – would Morgan play test stuff again?” Morgan has Rob Smyth in his corner, so he’s not to be sniffed at, but the selectors seem to see him as a white-ball specialist.
23rd over: West Indies 48-2 (Powell 22, S Hope 16) Shai Hope square-squirts Anderson for four, but immediately learns from his semi-mistake, playing a much more solid drive, also for four. Anderson’s riposte is a fabulous outswinger, darting up the hill, past Hope’s astonished outside edge.
22nd over: West Indies 40-2 (Powell 22, S Hope 8) Not content with keeping Anderson on, Root returns to Broad, which is quite the insult to Roland-Jones, given how wayward Broad was this morning. Powell creams him for four through mid-off. Where’s Woakes when you need him?
I have Withingtons coming at me from all directions. “Afternoon Tim!” Afternoon John! “For the first time this summer I’m a little stumped over how to mark the occasion with an appropriate Guardian OBO cocktail. Obviously it has to be something to mark Jimmy’s hoped-for 500th today – although a 501 sounds better so hopefully he can get a four-fa before I get mixing tomorrow. But what should the ingredients be this time? Suffice to say that I can assure readers of an almost infinite selection of ingredients at the bar – though not quite so many as to require me to exercise the ‘Axiom of Choice’ (See Brother Brian’s set theory, 7th over)! Anyways …. A little help with recipe ideas would be appreciated.”
21st over: West Indies 36-2 (Powell 18, S Hope 8) Root sticks with Anderson, sniffing that 500th wicket. It’s his 11th over, but he had a nice little rest from the rain. Powell nudges a single; Hope is more watchful. Mike Atherton, who watched him in the nets yesterday, pronounces him a “proper player”.
In my inbox, the spotlight is moving from Jos Buttler to Bertrand Russell. “Nice to see the great Welshman getting an airing,” says Ian Copestake. “A little ‘research’ has revealed a comment he actually made about cricket, namely that ‘Understanding language is ... like understanding cricket: it is a matter of habits acquired in oneself and rightly presumed in others.’” Of course it is.
And here’s Brian Withington. “Splendid of Sir Ian (Copestake) to round the morning session off [13:12] with another fine paradox to rival that of Bertrand Russell. I wonder idly whether it can really be said to be a Test Match without an OBO contribution from the great man?” The email was entitled “Paradox regained”. You don’t get this from the Beeb.
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An email from Ian Copestake. “Regarding what has gone wrong with Cook in the slips, surely the debate must switch to the pressure he is now feeling at his failure to adapt to the new pressure of not having the old pressure of the captaincy. Under so much pressure is it any wonder that pressure tells in the end?”
20th over: West Indies 35-2 (Powell 17, S Hope 8) Roland-Jones is digging it in, which doesn’t seem right on a September surface with a bit of juice in it. And that’s lunch. The morning belongs to the great Jimmy Anderson, who took both the wickets to fall, and had a catch dropped to boot.
Paul Harrison, on Twitter, has a question. “Does anyone understand what reason WI had for choosing to bat? With England’s top order so shaky, I don’t see the logic.” It’s a good point. They probably should have bowled, but as Rob Smyth spotted (2nd over), Lord’s tends to reward captains who bat first. If the Windies can get through today five down, they will have got away with it. And they are well placed to bowl last with their two spinners, if Holder remembers to use them.
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19th over: West Indies 35-2 (Powell 17, S Hope 8) With Brathwaite gone, Powell has to be the anchor of this innings. He’s done the hard part, seeing off 53 balls and reaching his highest Test score at Lord’s.
18th over: West Indies 35-2 (Powell 17, S Hope 8) Roland-Jones locates the channel, and then finds some seam movement, but not, as yet, both at once. Hope almost nicks it with a late leave, like his brother.
Raymond Reardon picks up the Bertrand Russell baton (7th and 12th overs, and 12:09). “Interesting that Russell received his Nobel prize in literature in 1950 after the Second World War for his philosophical writings and anti-nuclear war compositions, yet after the Korean War of 1950-1953, the Nobel prize for literature in 1953 was given to Winston Churchill for his works that were the complete opposite of pacifist writings.”
17th over: West Indies 34-2 (Powell 16, S Hope 8) One ball from Anderson darts away like a leg-break, another jags in like an off-break. Shai Hope, who went from boy to man at Headingley, is just about equal to it. And here comes TRJ.
16th over: West Indies 34-2 (Powell 16, S Hope 8) Straining to make Powell play, Broad strays on to his legs again, conceding four more. And then he goes back to being too wide, fifth stump rather than fourth. Get him off!
15th over: West Indies 30-2 (Powell 12, S Hope 8) One Hope replaces another, and instantly surpasses him, pushing his first ball to the cover boundary, and then guiding safely through the cordon. Anderson has 2 for 18. He’s been a one-man band this morning.
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Wicket! Hope c Bairstow b Anderson 0 (WI 22-2)
Kyle Hope tries to leave one going away from him up the slope, but retracts his bat too slowly, and that’s well snaffled by Bairstow, diving to his right. Anderson moves to 499!
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14th over: West Indies 22-1 (Powell 12, K Hope 0) Root keeps faith with Broad when Roland-Jones must be champing at the bit. Powell tucks one into the leg side for four, his first commanding stroke.
13th over: West Indies 18-1 (Powell 8, K Hope 0) Kyle Hope comes within a whisker of giving Anderson wicket no. 499, playing just inside another outswinger.
The revised timings are out. Lunch remains at 1pm, tea goes back to 4.10, and play can, and probably will, continue to 7.10.
If you’ve got Sky, put it on because Mike Atherton is digging up some gems from the British Film Institute archive of old cricket footage. Who knew that Alec Bedser made stylish home movies on Ashes tours?
My colleague Ali Martin has spotted that Chris Read is having some fun in his final innings at Trent Bridge, racing to 35 at a run a ball. Such a fine player, and so poorly treated by England.
The rain has stopped and play will resume at 12.30, as long as it stays dry.
“On another subject,” says Peter Mackelworth, who is on a roll. “A small shout-out to Zagreb Falcons CC who are playing the Hurricanes touring team as the first game in the T20 Balkan Bash today… in the pouring rain… https://www.facebook.com/T20balkanbash/
“Ida Sokol (as they say in Croatian here). Anyone in the Zagreb vicinity… this is on all weekend… at the Budanec Oval (near Ikea).” Wish I was there.
An interesting point from David Keech. “With hurricane Irma causing death and devastation in the Caribbean, I’m sure many of the WIndies side must have loved ones in danger. Why is there no talk of cancelling this match and allowing them to return in time to be with them during this extreme time? When I first moved to the USA I lived in Florida but traveled extensively all round the world. I told my family I would return to be with them if a hurricane threatened and my company respected this. I think the ICC should put lives above sport, sorry as I would be to miss the match.”
The covers are still on, raindrops are falling on the lens, and Sky’s graphics are showing that Broad hasn’t made Powell play two-thirds of the time, which is poor from such an experienced bowler.
Andrew Benton joins the philosophy seminar (7th and 12th overs). “Wasn’t Bertrand Russell a member of the Bloomsbury Group? The only other members I know of are Virginia Woolf and John Maynard Keynes. And...isn’t Guardian Towers in Bloomsbury? Are you the Bloomsbury paper?” In many ways, we are. But the office is in King’s Cross, on the Regent’s Canal. And before that it was Farringdon, a few blocks north of Fleet Street. Bloomsbury’s a bit pricey these days.
Time for some emails. The Buttler debate continues with Peter Mackelworth. “There is some inherent ability in Buttler,” he begins, sounding like a school report from the 1970s. “I’m not sure what it is but he is a mercurial talent that should be invested in. For sure he is no worse than Westley, Malan or Stoneman based on current evidence.”
Steve Hudson has a dilemma. “I have a ticket for Saturday, and would really, really like to be there when Jimmy gets his 500th. So should I feel happy or disappointed at that wicket? He only needs two more.” I’d nip along today if you can: with this breather from the rain, he could do it before lunch.
And a tweet comes in from Nick TaleTeller (possibly not his real name). “Is Cook now dropping catches,” he wonders, “because he’s finally standing in the slips thinking about field placing?” Ouch.
Rain stops play (WI 18-1)
It’s raining moderately hard, and the umps take the players off. So much for that forecast. The first act belonged to Anderson.
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12th over: West Indies 18-1 (Powell 8, K Hope 0) Powell keeps Broad out, peering through the encircling gloom. Powell owes his team some runs: he hasn’t reached 50 for about five years.
John Starbuck is back for more, picking up on the philosophical thread (7th over). “It’s said that the OED has more information on the entry for ‘set’ than any other, so maybe Bertrand Russell was in good company that way too. By all accounts he was a one for good company, but that’s another story.”
11th over: West Indies 18-1 (Powell 8, K Hope 0) So Anderson makes the breakthrough and picks up his 498th wicket in Tests. He has been immaculate.
Wicket! Brathwaite c Bairstow b Anderson 10 (WI 18-1)
Anderson gets one to hold its line up the slope, Brathwaite nibbles at it, and Cook is off the hook.
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10th over: West Indies 18-0 (Brathwaite 10, Powell 8) Broad brings in a fifth slip, which is the right idea, or would be if he didn’t then bowl an in-ducker, which Brathwaite stabs for a single. A better ball shaves Powell’s off bail.
Geoff Wignall is thinking about Cook’s fumble. “Is that now 3 dropped catches for Cook in 2 innings plus 3 overs? He used never to seem to drop that many in a season. Is it a sign that his eyes are starting to let him down when he’s deprived of a sightscreen’s benefit?”
9th over: West Indies 17-0 (Brathwaite 9, Powell 8) Anderson continues to ask all the right questions, and Powell is the candidate who hasn’t revised – inside-edging on to his pad, thick-edging short of fourth slip.
On email, George Rogers isn’t happy with the talk of Jos Buttler. “I do find the belief in Buttler’s Test match credentials to be a little bizarre. What’s that old adage, the less he plays the better he gets? Actually watching Buttler bat in Tests was a thoroughly painful experience. Never before have I witnessed someone make less use of such obvious ability. As if his actions were completely at odds with the Million dollar talent straining away in his muscle memory.
“The only way I’d pick Buttler is as an Opener/Keeper told to play in Pure T20 style. It might be a stupid idea. But it could be bloody entertaining. Whilst freeing up Bairstow to take a proper batting slot and sparing Hameed our wanton expectations for a tour or two.”
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8th over: West Indies 15-0 (Brathwaite 8, Powell 7) Brathwaite punches Broad into the covers for a couple, but also plays an air shot. And a big black cloud has come over the ground.
Meanwhile, John Starbuck is back for a second spell. “Playing both Moeen and Buttler as primarily batsmen means you can have an extra spinner, Crane, and a spare keeper who gets plenty of game time too. Haseeb is the best opener of those available to partner Cook and will come to be seen as his eventual replacement, so he should certainly go.” Amen to that.
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7th over: West Indies 12-0 (Brathwaite 6, Powell 6) Anderson continues to find swing, but Brathwaite’s eye is in from Headingley, and he keeps it out before picking up two to square leg when Anderson tries the inswinger.
“Morning Tim.” Morning, Brian Withington. “Excellent to see an early cricketing paradox from Jonathan Gresty [4th over]. A bit like the old chestnut of “the set of all sets that are not subsets of themselves” (think about it) that drove Bertrand Russell to such despair (well that and the threat of nuclear annihilation). Thank goodness we don’t need to worry about the latter any more ...”
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6th over: West Indies 10-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 6) Broad jags one back into Powell which goes over middle stump – the first sign of lift. But the next one goes through slowly, allowing Powell to pick up the first boundary of the match with a back-foot poke to third man.
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5th over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 4, Powell 2) Brathwaite pushes Anderson to point, having wisely decided that the best place to watch this masterclass is from the non-striker’s end. Powell’s turn to play and miss, before he too takes a single. There are plenty of gaps out the front of the pavilion, which is a crying shame. If you’re an MCC member, get your arse onto those benches.
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4th over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 1) A maiden from Broad to Powell, tidy but unthreatening.
“Hi Tim.” Hi Jonathan Gresty. “Every match now seems to bring some unlikely first or other: in Headingley it was the first batsman to score two centuries in the same match; now it’s the first ever Lord’s Test in September. Can some pundit please tell me the last English Test match when there wasn’t a first? And also whether it was also be the first English Test match without a first? Which would then automatically disqualify it.”
3rd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 1) Powell gets off the mark with a thick edge. Brathwaite is dropped off a thin one. Brathwaite then edges again, just short of Stokes at fourth slip. And plays and misses. Vintage Anderson. But is the time coming when Cook should retreat to the outfield?
Dropped!
Anderson finds the edge of Brathwaite’s bat, and Alastair Cook, at first slip, spills it. A straightforward chance.
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2nd over: West Indies 3-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 0) Stuart Broad opens up from the Nursery End, first bowling at Brathwaite’s stumps, then suddenly remembering that he has four slips and going too wide.
A stat comes in from the great Rob Smyth. “In the last 10 years there have been 21 Lord’s Tests,” he spots, “and the team batting first has won 14 and lost one.” Yes, but how many of those Tests have been in September?
1st over: West Indies 3-0 (Brathwaite 3, Powell 0) Kraigg Brathwaite, so staunch at Headingley, carries on where he left off by pushing the first ball into the covers for two. Jimmy Anderson has four slips, but not much swing as yet. Brathwaite nicks the strike with a dodgy quick single off the last ball.
And all is right with the world, because John Starbuck has emailed. “As the pitch is reported to have fairy rings and suchlike,” he writes, “you wouldn’t suppose they’d have mushrooms for lunch today, but to be sure, maybe you can revive the OBO service of a look at the menu board when it comes out? We all try to be sustainable and growing one’s food on the cricket field is a novelty which could catch on, especially given the way they’re extracting value from the game nowadays.”
By naming an unchanged team, West Indies have two spinners, while England have only Moeen, and the odd token over from Malan or Root. “Worth playing another/a different spinner?” says Magister Equitum on Twitter. “Wouldn’t necessarily fancy relying on Moeen for a tour of Australia.” It’s a good point, but who? Adil Rashid is mysteriously ostracised, Samit Patel seems to be seen as a Bangladesh specialist, and Mason Crane is untried except as a rather good sub fielder.
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Have England picked the wrong team again? Peter Mackelworth joins the fray. “If they had picked TRJ, Woakes, Hameed, Hales and Buttler… then that might be too many for 4 free places.” It would: I meant they should have played Woakes alongside TRJ today, and lined up the other three for the Ashes squad. “However, in principle I agree with you.” Phew. “Hameed and Buttler I believe are too good to miss out, Hales reminds me a little of Graeme Hick. So on reflection: Cook, Hameed, Root, Ali, Stokes, Bairstow, Buttler, Woakes, Roland-Jones, Broad & Anderson. Hmmm….” That looks a stronger team than today’s, though personally I’d keep Moeen below Stokes and Bairstow. Stokes is turning into a batsman who bowls a bit, isn’t he?
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Alan Tuffery’s plea from 10:29 has been smartly answered by Stuart Cherry. “Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb56IgFXl64
“You might also want to tell your readers that the BBC always put a link to TMS overseas at the top of their own live blog. Or you might not.” Ha. We can stand the competition.
The teams
England: Cook, Stoneman, Westley, Root, Malan, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Roland-Jones, Broad, Anderson.
West Indies: Brathwaite, Powell, K Hope, S Hope, Chase, Blackwood, Dowrich, Holder, Roch, Bishoo, Gabriel.
TOSS: West Indies bat
Jason Holder wins the toss and opts to bat, which is brave at Lord’s in September. The Windies are unchanged. Joe Root, asked what he would have done, refuses to say, which is intriguing.
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Everyone's dear old thing
Up in the media centre, it’s the end of an era. Henry Blofeld, the fruitiest of all the cakes on Test Match Special, will be putting in his final commentary stint. At the last Lord’s Test, against South Africa in July, I ran into him behind the Edrich Stand. As dialogue is his medium, it seems right to reproduce the conversation verbatim.
Me: Henry Blofeld!
Blowers: My dear old thing!
Me: What a shame you’re quitting.
Blowers: No, it’s not – I’m far too old.
Talking of TMS, the first email of the day is headed “YouTube link” and comes from Alan Tuffery. “Please could you ask your wonderful and eclectici readers to provide the URL for ther Test,” he writes, “so that I can follow the commentary in my Tuscan fastness?” Tuscany and typos: is this a bid for peak Guardian?
PREAMBLE
Morning everyone and welcome to the third Test. What could well have been a dead rubber has turned out to be a decider, thanks to David beating Goliath at Headingley. Sachin Tendulkar, in a text message to Brian Lara, described it as “a success the entire world needed”, which may have come as a surprise to anyone wondering if we are heading for nuclear war, but still, the cricket world did need it. The question now is: can West Indies do it again? Or will England bounce back, as they often do after a flop?
The bookies, or the punters, don’t fancy the Windies at all, making them 10/1 to win the match, with England 3/1 on. So a fiver on England wins £1.67, while a fiver on West Indies wins £50. Those sums surely contain a dollop of English complacency.
England have brought back Toby Roland-Jones in place of Chris Woakes, a tacit admission that they were wrong to drop TRJ in the first place. But that doesn’t mean they’re right to do a U-turn now. While Woakes was too rusty to make the ball talk at Headingley, he was himself again on T20 finals day, and he was immense in last year’s Lord’s Tests, taking 14 for 140. Plus, he is now so assured with the bat that he will get as many runs as any of England’s top-order pretenders. The selectors should have picked both him and TRJ, and given Tom Westley a rest.
Anyway, they haven’t, so there’s a first Test appearance on his home ground for Roland-Jones, who, like his mentor Angus Fraser, is a character actor who can suddenly take over as the leading man. And England’s three bridesmaids, Westley, Stoneman and Malan, get one last chance to bag the plane tickets to Australia that might be better handed to Hameed, Hales and Buttler.
West Indies come here on a high but they remain an unknown quantity, as only two of their likely XI have ever had a taste of a Lord’s Test. One is Kieran Powell, the left-handed opener whose slender Test average (26) gets even thinner in England (14) and almost translucent at Lord’s (6). The other is Shannon Gabriel, the hefty seamer who bowled well the other day and did all right here in 2012. Will their team-mates rise to the location, or struggle to cope with the slope and the unexpected chance to regain the Wisden Trophy?
Jimmy Anderson needs three wickets to become the first Englishman, the third fast bowler and the sixth person to take 500 in Tests. It would be sweet if he did it here, under the wing of Ottis Gibson, who will be shepherding England’s seamers for the last time before becoming head coach for South Africa. Mind you, Gibson has left England for a bigger job before (with West Indies, in 2010). On past form, he’ll be back in 2022, just in time for Jimmy’s 700th. It’s all looking very appetising. We even have some tentative sunshine.
