Stumps! West Indies 32-1 (Brathwaite 6, Joseph 14)
The batsmen survive, though not before Curran has another lbw shout which would be out if England reviewed. As it’s Joseph, it’s unlikely to be expensive. West Indies will be glad to reach the close with only one wicket down, but it’s definitely England’s day. And Ben Stokes’s. He was immense, making 176, oozing confidence and hitting far more boundaries than anyone else. Dom Sibley, with 120, was either staunch or stodgy, or a bit of both, according to taste. England, who lead by 437, will sleep well, though they may glance nervously at the clouds when they wake up in the morning. Thanks for your company, your comments, and your excellent Dom Sibley song lyrics. A cult is born.
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13th over: West Indies 28-1 (Brathwaite 6, Joseph 10) Joseph, sobering up a bit now, sees out an over from Bess.
“How about Gary Sobers = Pele?” says Ben Heywood. “Fulfills all of Adam Roberts’ criteria...” Classy.
12th over: West Indies 25-1 (Brathwaite 5, Joseph 8) As nightwatchmen go, Joseph is more like the life and soul of the party. He’s been fluent on both sides of the wicket and has raced to eight off seven balls.
Here’s Geoff Wignall, weighing into the debate that I believe he started. “I’d have to check and I’m sure I won’t, but I think Pele was sent off something like ten times in his career, almost matching Alex Ferguson.” Ha. “But the original question was just to do with names: I don’t think Harry Kane’s game was being compared with Dom Sibley’s (hereafter ‘The Dom’).”
11th over: West Indies 22-1 (Brathwaite 5, Joseph 5) Broad takes his sunhat and Dom Bess has a bowl. Alzarri Joseph, who has come out as nightwatchman, treats him with a healthy disrespect.
“Slow scoring,” says the subject line from Andrew Lister. “Why oh why oh why have Liverpool insisted on scoring at such a slow rate in the first half of the match? Scoring at a rate of one goal per half means that they’re only one-nil up at half time. If they had scored at a slightly higher rate, say two goals per half, they would be two-nil ahead and in a much better position to win the match. If they end up drawing, or losing, this match they’ll have some pretty tough questions to answer about the goal-scoring rate.” Hang on – I thought the biting sarcasm was our job?
10th over: West Indies 16-1 (Brathwaite 4, Joseph 0) Sam Curran, who is a star in English conditions, shows it once again by striking in his first over. It was the old three-card trick: a couple of outswingers to the left-handed Campbell, followed by the one that didn’t swing and went past his inside edge.
Wicket! Campbell lbw b Curran 11 (West Indies 16-1)
That’s the breakthrough! It was straight, it was low, it was a very plumb plumb. There were two noises, which may explain why the umpire said no – but the noises were the ball hitting both pads in quick succession.
Review! For lbw, Curran to Campbell
Sam Curran comes on and has a great shout as the ball keeps low and nips back.
9th over: West Indies 16-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 12) Brathwaite’s turn to play out a maiden, from Broad, who is trying to square him up but only half-succeeding.
More on the Pele debate. “Like Tom Hopkins,” says Adam Roberts, “my thoughts went to Bradman, but Pele was universally admired and liked, whereas the Don was loathed by members of his own team. I then thought of Viv, but he was not unknown to be very controversial (was Pele ever booked? I couldn’t see Richards without a few red cards if he played top-class football). We are looking for someone of supreme talent, universally admired and liked, and uncontroversial. I am - so far - drawing a blank.”
8th over: West Indies 16-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 12) Woakes keeps Campbell quiet. Entrusted with Jimmy Anderson’s role, he has the Anderson-like figures of 4-2-2-0.
“You know I’m supposed to be working, don’t you,” says Tom Levesley, “but here you are distracting me with simultaneous OBO and MBM. Still, the pleasure of England is easing the pain of West Brom choking at the last.”
7th over: West Indies 16-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 12) Campbell off-drives Broad, handsomely. Broad, being Broad, responds with an appeal for leg-before, only to find the umpire giving a run off the bat rather than a leg-bye. That one kept low, rather ominously for the West Indians.
6th over: West Indies 11-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 7) A maiden from Woakes, whose general immaculacy extends to his line and length.
James Debens isn’t happy with my line on Sibley’s hundred (17:58), or rather my colleague Rob’s line. I said this: “Dom Sibley did his best to bring sexless back, in Rob Smyth’s words, with a stodgy 120.”
Debens replies: “Wiser souls might say it was probably a match-winning, not stodgy, innings. An odd word for a century (second in eight matches) made on a pitch you describe as ‘offering the bowlers more than the batsmen’.” Fair point! It may turn out to be a gem. But it was stodgy, wasn’t it? Admirable as he was in some ways, Sibley faced 372 balls and only hit five of them for four. The pitch is tricky, but not that tricky.
5th over: West Indies 11-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 7) Broad is going round the wicket Ito Campbell, reminding everyone present – all 150 of them – of the fun he had against David Warner last summer. Campbell is beaten outside the off stump as Broad finds some outswing, but he fights back with a nonchalant clip off the legs to take West Indies into double figures.
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4th over: West Indies 6-0 (Brathwaite 3, Campbell 3) Campbell emulates his mate with a back-foot push for two. But what catches the eye is the fact that Woakes, who is always immaculate, has clearly spent lockdown taking this to another level. Swept-back hair, slim black hairband, full yet orderly beard: he’s ready for his second career as a matinee idol.
3rd over: West Indies 4-0 (Brathwaite 3, Campbell 1) Broad beats Brathwaite with a ball that moves like a leg-break. “Good carry as well,” Ebony Rainford-Brent notes. Brathwaite has a good retort though – a neat cover push, off the back foot, for a couple.
A tweet arrives from Voice of the Mysterons. “Having just tuned in to the cricket to catch up with the score, Stokes ‘out trying to reverse sweep Kemar Roach’ isn’t something that I would necessarily expect to hear ...” Me neither. It was a swish, not a sweep.
2nd over: West Indies 2-0 (Brathwaite 1, Campbell 1) Root could give the new ball to Sam Curran but prefers the greater experience of another swing bowler, Chris Woakes. He finds the right length to Campbell, who defends solidly, and that’s a maiden. West Indies need another 266 to avoid the follow-on.
1st over: West Indies 2-0 (Brathwaite 1, Campbell 1) A single to each batsman and then Brathwaite is rapped on the back pad. This is it, surely – Broad’s giving it the jazz hands ... but the ump won’t play ball, and for once in his life Broad doesn’t persuade Root to review.
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Stuart Broad is back
Never mind the batting, he’s got the new ball in his hands. And a headband on his head. And a gleam in his eye.
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Declaration! England 469-9 (Bess 31, Broad 11)
A few more slogs from Bess, 15 off the last over, and Joe Root calls a halt. That’s a formidable total from England, on a pitch that was offering the bowlers more than the batsmen. Dom Sibley did his best to bring sexless back, in Rob Smyth’s words, with a stodgy 120. Ben Stokes, shedding the cares of captaincy, made a majestic 176. And Roston Chase took five for 172, bowling unchanged from just before lunch to five minutes ago. Trojans, the lot of them. See you shortly.
Dropped! And six
Bess lofts Chase to midwicket, where Kemar Roach doesn’t have to move – but he does have time to fluff it. The ball pops out of his hands and over the boundary.
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161st over: England 454-9 (Bess 16, Broad 11) Broad keeps Shannon Gabriel out, then picks up a single with a straight whack, side-footed by Gabriel, who is knackered but still pretty good at football. These two have now added 27 off 33 balls.
Here’s Tom Hopkins, picking up on that question from the 149th over. “I’m not sure in which sense Geoff Wignall is looking for cricket’s Edson Arantes do Nascimento,” he muses, “but from a couple of angles The Don seems like a good equivalent?”
160th over: England 452-9 (Bess 15, Broad 10) Yet another over from Roston Chase, who is bowling his 27th over in succession and shaping up as cricket’s answer to Captain Tom. He goes for a few ones and twos, including a reverse sweep by Bess, and England have 450.
159th over: England 446-9 (Bess 12, Broad 7) Back comes Shannon Gabriel, looking stiff, but still bowling quick. His pace surprises Bess, who gets a streaky two off a leading edge. Bess then plays a pull, calls for a second, and almost runs out Broad, who is reprieved only by a fumble from Gabriel that is in the Nathan Lyon class. To rub it in, Bess picks up four to fine leg off the glove. Eleven off the over – that’s more like it.
“149th over,” says John Starbuck, crisply. “Almost any Sri Lankan cricketer.”
158th over: England 435-9 (Bess 1, Broad 7) Stuart Broad, who can still just about remember how to bat, brings out the long handle to sweep Chase for four. Then he adds a delicate lap for two, before having a mow at a wide one and missing.
157th over: England 427-9 (Bess 0, Broad 0) Bess keeps Holder out, but there’s not much point in playing out a maiden at this juncture. if these two are not going to have a slog, Joe Root might as well declare. He’s on the balcony, in his whites, thinking about it.
Wicket!! Curran c Brathwaite b Chase 17 (England 427-9)
Curran plays a reverse-sweep and can only chip it to backward point. So Roston Chase becomes the first West Indian spinner since the legendary Alf Valentine in 1950 to take five wickets in the first innings of a Test at Old Trafford. He gets a congratulatory hug from someone, which is against the regulations, but, from all other points of view, entirely called-for.
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155th over: England 426-8 (Curran 15, Bess 0) Holder is in the mood now, not that he ever isn’t. Dom Bess is one of the best No.10s England have ever had, but he can’t lay a bat on Holder’s outswinger. Jimmy Anderson might have been quite useful in these conditions.
Wicket! Buttler c Joseph b Holder 40 (England 426-8)
Buttler attacks Holder, at last, and swings him straight to deep midwicket. Alzarri Joseph takes the catch with an air of astonishment, possibly because he didn’t pick it up at first. That was a handy innings from Buttler, but a staccato one.
154th over: England 424-7 (Buttler 39, Curran 15) It’s Chase to continue, of course it is. Buttler middles a cover drive but only gets one for it. Curran clonks a straight drive, for the same result, before playing his second shot of some authority, a cracking sweep for four.
“I’m always a bit surprised,” says David Murray, from earlier in the day, “that the tradition of batters accelerating after they reach their century has a place in modern cricket. While there was good team justification for Stokes batting cautiously at first, is it really likely that achieving this personal milestone so frequently coincides with the optimal moment for an acceleration in scoring and risk-taking from the team point of view? I suspect that such indulgence of personal achievement wouldn’t be permitted in football or other team sports.”
153rd over: England 417-7 (Buttler 37, Curran 10) These two are now making up for their sluggishness by scampering well between the wickets, but Holder is still keeping them honest. And that’s drinks, with England still on top, but not exactly on fire.
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152nd over: England 414-7 (Buttler 34, Curran 10) Chase continues, Buttler takes a hard-run two, and Chase now has figures of 39-2-136-4. Nobody has worked harder in this series, not even the ECB official in charge of hand sanitiser.
151st over: England 410-7 (Buttler 31, Curran 9) Back comes Jason Holder, who’s been wicketless in this innings after cashing in at the Ageas Bowl. He doesn’t change that, but he does achieve his aim of putting the plug back in.
Here’s Gareth Christopher, picking up on a thread from early afternoon. “Don’t think I’ve ever actually seen Sibley bat, relying on TMS and your own excellent commentary, but it seems like the lyrics of the Motörhead classic Ace of Spades could be easily adapted to suit him:
If you want to bat time(I tell you)
I’m the man
You block some, leave some
It’s all the same to me
The pleasure is to play
Makes no difference what they say
I love staying in
The only shot i need is
The push for one
The push for one.”
That’s spot-on.
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150th over: England 409-7 (Buttler 31, Curran 8) Sam Curran has had enough of this – he hits Chase back over his head for six. Gotta love the fact that England’s smallest player hits the biggest shots, though this one isn’t quite as special as the check-drive for six that Stokes played earlier off one of the quicks.
149th over: England 402-7 (Buttler 31, Curran 1) A two! And another two! Both flicked off the pads by Buttler, who has now reached his Test average. He’s struggling with his timing and finishes Roach’s over with a leading edge.
An email from Geoff Wignall which may have come in a while ago. “So if Harry Kane is soccer’s Dom Sibley,” he asks, “who would have been cricket’s Edison Arantes do Nascimento?”
148th over: England 398-7 (Buttler 27, Curran 1) Curran gets off the mark, from his 12th ball, with a tuck into the leg side off the persevering Chase, and Buttler celebrates with a single of his own to square leg. Credit where it’s due: the partnership has rocketed to three off 33 balls.
147th over: England 396-7 (Buttler 26, Curran 0) Roach keeps it tight to Buttler, who middles one clip to leg, only for Jermaine Blackwood to make a fine stop at midwicket. The last ball rears up off the pitch and almost breaks Shane Dowrich’s nose. That’s another maiden, so the Buttler-Curran partnership has now amassed one run off 27 balls.
146th over: England 396-7 (Buttler 26, Curran 0) Curran gets a long hop from Chase but can only cut it down into the crease for no run. Two of England’s most fluent players have now added one off 21 balls. If I had a pipe, I would be puffing on it and saying “I don’t know what’s going off out there”.
145th over: England 396-7 (Buttler 26, Curran 0) A maiden from Roach to Buttler, in which the main point of interest is a couple of deliveries that bounce twice on their way through to Dowrich. This is the pitch with almost everything: seam, swing, turn, lift, and now uneven bounce.
144th over: England 396-7 (Buttler 26, Curran 0) Chase continues and goes round the wicket to Buttler, which, along with the wickets, puts an end to the pyrotechnics for the moment.
My colleague Daniel Harris, who’s supposed to be having a breather, is listening to TMS. “Alastair Cook,” he reports, “just noted that any score is worth more than you think given that Stokes, in the form of his life, was finding it hard and only got it moving when he started thrashing.” Yes, it’s a formidable total. But has it come fast enough? Time will tell.
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143rd over: England 395-7 (Buttler 25, Curran 0) Sam Curran comes out after a delay, clearly caught unawares, to face the hat-trick ball. But he’s composed enough to see that it’s well outside off and he can let it go by. Next ball, he’s beaten on the inside edge as Roach’s nip-backer to the left-hander goes over middle-and-off. What a good over.
Wicket!! Woakes c Hope b Roach 0 (England 395-7)
Two in two! Roach pitches it up, moves it away, draws the edge and sees Shai Hope do the business at a wide second slip. “London buses,” says Nasser Hussain.
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Wicket! Stokes c Dowrich b Roach 176 (England 395-6)
At last! A wicket for Roach, and a mistake by Stokes, who tries some sort of reverse-swish and can only nick it to the keeper. That’s the end of a magnificent innings from an extraordinary sportsman.
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142nd over: England 395-5 (Stokes 176, Buttler 25) Fed up with all these dots, Buttler brings out the reverse-sweep against Chase, followed by the normal sweep, and he nails both. He tries a late cut and misses it, but then Chase offers a full toss and Buttler cover-drives for four more. That’s much more like it.
141st over: England 382-5 (Stokes 175, Buttler 13) Off goes Brathwaite and on comes Kemar Roach, who is entitled to be right-arm pessimistic after bowling well for no wickets in the series so far. His spell gets off to a frugal start.
140th over: England 381-5 (Stokes 174, Buttler 13) There’s been an outbreak of cake around the ground, or at least in the commentary box. I hope Roston Chase got some because he’s bowling his 33rd over. He’s bowling well enough to keep these two batsmen, who can be so lethal, relatively quiet.
And here, sounding like a disappointed teacher, is Tom Booth, who starts by quoting someone saying this: “I’ve been more puzzled by England’s overall tempo, which stayed too slow for too long. They’ve played like a team that’s one up in the series, not one down.”
“And there we have it,” says Tom, “England-watchers are officially impossible to please. If they’re not throwing their wickets away recklessly they’re batting too slowly. Remember the grief Strauss, Cook and Trott used to get for ‘slow batting’ when England was routinely putting teams away by an
innings?”
Tom, you must be more confident than me that, with rain forecast tomorrow, England will have left themselves enough time to bowl West Indies out twice. Less importantly, can I make a small plea to anyone using quote marks in an email: please use single quotes, not double, to save us having to change them. Thanks.
County cricket – remember that? Not before time, the Government has given the go-ahead for a form of sport that seems purpose-built for social distancing. And the first cricket lovers to try it are going to be members of Surrey, who can enter a ballot to watch a warm-up match against Middlesex.
139th over: England 378-5 (Stokes 172, Buttler 12) Brathwaite’s gentle round-arm goes for three more singles, and that’s tea. The afternoon belonged to Ben Stokes, who made 73 in the session. I knew he’d play better when he didn’t have the captaincy to worry about.
138th over: England 375-5 (Stokes 170, Buttler 11) Chase thinks he’s got Stokes at last, with an lbw shout as no stroke is played, but the umpire shakes his head and West Indies are out of reviews. “It’s missing,” says Bumble, and HawkEye agrees. Chase responds by lying on the turf, though there’s a hint of a wry smile too. He’s still on for a very expensive eight-for.
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137th over: England 373-5 (Stokes 169, Buttler 10) Gabriel gives way to Kraigg Brathwaite, definitively described by Michael Holding the other day as right-arm optimistic. He duly ushers Buttler into double figures, via a couple of comfy clips to leg.
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136th over: England 370-5 (Stokes 168, Buttler 8) Stokes plays the most delicate of leg-glances, perhaps inadvertently, to pick up another four off Chase. This is Stokes’s second-highest score in Tests and the question is, can he reach 250 again?
135th over: England 366-5 (Stokes 164, Buttler 8) Gabriel plays some chin music and Buttler copes with it, just about, though Rob Key reckons he’s falling over to the offside, which leaves him vulnerable to the lbw.
“Good to welcome you back to the OBO,” says Peter Rowntree, “but steady up with the wickets.” Thanks, and ha. “Jos Buttler can consider himself a tad lucky to have retained his place, and unless he does start making runs then I feel it is inevitable that Ben Foakes will be in the team before this summer ends.”
134th over: England 362-5 (Stokes 161, Buttler 8) Buttler seems to have instinctively sensed David Hindle’s disgruntlement. He cuts Chase for four and then gets the cover push right to pick up two more. Meanwhile the cameras home in on a chat between England’s two off-spinners, Dom Bess and Joe Root, who may be more use in this match as a bowler than a batsman.
133rd over: England 356-5 (Stokes 161, Buttler 2) Buttler plays a better shot, that crisp cover push of his, but only gets a single for it.
“England’s performance is great in many ways.” says David Hindle. Do you sense a but coming? “But still, their limitations are horribly apparent. The inability to completely put away a somewhat ‘spare’ off-spinner, with 350 on the board already and the
West Indies on their knees is striking. Even Stokes is struggling. What’s wrong here? He’s doing nothing remarkable. He should be getting tonked into oblivion.” Well, the pitch is turning. I’ve been more puzzled by England’s overall tempo, which stayed too slow for too long. They’ve played like a team that’s one up in the series, not one down.
132nd over: England 355-5 (Stokes 161, Buttler 1) Buttler gets off the mark, less than convincingly, with a shovel round the corner off Chase that is not far from the leg slip. If he hadn’t been struggling for form, this situation would be made for him.
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131st over: England 353-5 (Stokes 160, Buttler 0) Jos Buttler, under pressure for his place, got in some good leaves against Shannon Gabriel before that appeal. And Jason Holder may be kicking himself because he’s now out of reviews.
Michael Holding points out that Roston Chase has four wickets and the last West Indian spinner to take five in the first innings of a Test at Old Trafford was ... Alf Valentine, back in the mists of the Fifties.
Not out!
Yes, missing leg. The Buttler fan club heaves a sigh of relief.
Review! For lbw against Buttler
Facing Gabriel, Buttler plays outside one that nips back. It’s not given and seems, to my untrained eye, to be going down.
130th over: England 352-5 (Stokes 159, Buttler 0) It would have been umpire’s call, so Stokes was right, but not by much. And a wicket falls before I can even say afternoon everyone and thanks Daniel for a highly entertaining shift. It takes talent to do that when the subject matter is called Sibley.
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Wicket!! Pope lbw b Chase 7 (England 352-5)
Pope goes back, the ball gets lodged between his pads, the finger goes up, and Stokes doesn’t encourage him to review. The collapse is on!
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129th over: England 350-4 (Stokes 158, Pope 6) Gabriel’s body is going to despise him in a few hours. He yanks it through its 21st over, and HAVE AN ABSOLUTE LOOK! Stokes looks to caress a wide one over the infield, but doesn’t get enough on it, and at gully Hope dives, gets both hands to it ... and can’t hold on! That was a difficult chance at the outset, but in the event ought really to have been taken. They run a single, then Pope pokes three to cover, and my watch is over; here’s Tim de Lisle to narrate you through the latest entry into England’s family album of collapses.
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128th over: England 346-4 (Stokes 157, Pope 3) Jason Holder is currently wearing two magenta caps; now he’s just taunting us. Stokes takes one, then Pope drives two towards the cover fence, and these ginger ninjas seem like the worst-possible affliction for a knackered attack.
127th over: England 343-4 (Stokes 156, Pope 1) The partnership was 260 then, but spare a thought for Ollie Pope, who sat there for I don’t even know how long in pads, jockstrap and box; wishing him strength and comfort at this difficult time. But he gets off the mark with a single to mid on, which brings us back to Stokes. I think the thing with him is that nothing looks beyond him. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but he exudes purpose and control; he knows it, his team-mates know it, and you can be damn sure the opposition know it. It’s intimidating and inspiring enough to watch when he’s on your side, never mind when he’s against you.
WICKET! Sibley c Roach b Chase 120 (England 341-4)
What is this?! Sibley stretches down the track, gets under one, and Roach charges around the fence to take a smart catch at deep midwicket. That’s a proper feat of concentration from Sibley there, which has, in all probability, turned the series.
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126th over: England 341-3 (Sibley 120, Stokes 155) Stokes would be an incredible lawyer, or burglar, or torturer. He’s just so methodical, intelligent and savage in the way he gets himself comfortable, then takes people apart for his amusement. What’s amazing about him – what I’m currently finding amazing about him – is his mastery. He can kill you in so many different, inevitable ways, depending on what the situation demands of him, and even his slogging is discriminate and considered.
125th over: England 338-3 (Sibley 120, Stokes 152) Stokes unloads the suitcase at the returning Gabriel, lasering an edge over the cordon for four and doing well to keep shoulders and torso together. Then the other side of Stokes, a lush flick over midwicket adding four more, before a cut that raises his 150. This is absolute worsts for West Indies, and Gabriel compounds his own misery with a no ball on which they also run. 12 off the over.
“Surely we’re approaching the point at which Stuart Broad can feel fully vindicated,” says Geoff Wignall. “See how much better things go for England with him in the team?”
It’s probably time for a trip to the diary room. “I’m proud, elated and vindicated.”
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124th over: England 326-3 (Sibley 120, Stokes 140) The partnership is 244 as Chase begins another twirl; again, Stokes takes a single and the Sibster can’t quite find the route to returning the strike.
It was a matter of time. “In honour of Dom Sibley, here’s the all-time Dom Sibley XI,” says Mac Millings.
Navjot Sibhu
Hasibul Hossain
Dom Graveney
Junaid Sibbique
Jimmy Adamsibley
Adom Gilchrist
Sybley Barnes
Peter Sibble
Ryan Sideboddom
Brett “Sib” Lee
Harbhajan Sibh.”
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123rd over: England 325-3 (Sibley 120, Stokes 140) The check drive again – who does he think he is, Floyd Mayweather? – this time for four – then an absolutely vicious, scything, assault past the bowler for four more. He doesn’t get all of that, but the force is with him.
122nd over: England 315-3 (Sibley 120, Stokes 131) Ctrl v, Sibley nudges a single, then Stokes lifts over cover and Sibley ... cuts two. Now we’re talkin’!
“I think Harry Kane is always referred to by his full name,” emails Graeme Thorn, “though this might be in part to its phonetic similarity to ‘hurricane’ (if you pronounce it hurry-cane rather than hurry-cun).
Yes, I like to think that if he played for my club, the terraces would be bouncing to this.
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
This looked nice, but again, it’s umpire’s call on height.
121st over: England 309-3 (Sibley 117, Stokes 128) Stokes takes Holder for four more, then misses with the bat and wears one on the knee; time ticks ... and ...
“Seems a bit churlish to say so with England in such an unusually dominant position,” says Oliver Smiddy, “but this match is a terrible advertisement for Test cricket, particularly in contrast to the first Test, which was the exact opposite. This is exactly the sort of batting performance England needed, but for any neutrals watching, it’s pretty dour stuff, not helped by a really disappointing wicket. Very pleased for Sibley and Stokes though, great knocks so far.”
It’s the weather, I’m afraid – one dry day in the last fortnight or somesuch. But yes, as a moron, I’d happily go and sit in a ground with no cricket going on, just to be there, but if I’d never seen it before I’d be enjoying the telecast but not the action.
120th over: England 305-3 (Sibley 117, Stokes 124) Stokes takes a single from the first ball of this latest Chase over, then Sibley frantically contorts to return him the stroke, but cannot.
“I overheard Tuffers discussing possible nicknames for Sibley on the TMS yesterday,” emails Adam Giles, among which were ‘The Wall’, ‘The Rock’ and ‘The Breezeblock’. It should be noted that at school he was occasionally referred to as ‘The Drying Paint’, though, I must admit, never to his face. I feel like this innings, though admirable, vindicates our choice of epithet.
What more can you tell us?
119th over: England 304-3 (Sibley 117, Stokes 123) Holder gallantly invites himself to absorb the pain for his disciples, as Nasser notes how easily England can rotate their attack for the next Test. I guess a drier pitch might offer West Indies more, but I’m reaching and clutching; we’ve seen these series before. Three from the over.
“I have written a haiku on the occasion of Dominic Sibley’s century,” says Ian Forth.
“Sibley displaying
classic rectitude, unlike
his Classic namesake.”
You guys!
118th over: England 301-3 (Sibley 117, Stokes 120) The problem with that Joseph injury isn’t just it itself, but how hard the others will have to work as a consequence. Especially as Stokes is easing into a murderous charge, reversing Chase for four before taking a single. Meantime, a question: has anyone ever called “Domsibley” “Dom”, “Dominic” or “Sibley”? And what is it about some names that means they are only ever referred to in partnership, fore and sur? Delealli, Spurs’ Italian funster, is another.
117th over: England 296-3 (Sibley 117, Stokes 115) It never rains, but sometimes it rains so hard it makes your head bleed. Joseph, who’s bowled better than his figures suggest, lasts one ball before departing the field with what looks like a side-strain. Absolute worsts. Brathwaite finishes the over, two singles from it, and West Indies have a long, miserable slog ahead of them.
Tim Woolias has more, er, Sibleyance.
“1. to Eleanor Rigby
Dominic Sibley picks up the bat in a way that not many have seen, glances for three, waiting for Joseph, pushes the ball straight back for a run, in fact it’s his ton.
2. Sibley Stardust
Sibley played for time, batting good with Ben and Crawley.”
116th over: England 294-3 (Sibley 116, Stokes 114) England are going to want to bat once here – if they can make it to tomorrow lunchish, that gives them two and a half days to get 20 wickets, which should be enough. But with Stokes seeing it and various other action to come, they might get to, say, 500, significantly sooner. Four off the over.
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115th over: England 290-3 (Sibley 115, Stokes 111) Joseph returns, and the wriggle is on, Stokes iusing the full face to tickle a check drive down the ground ... for six. “No, no way! You cannot do that, Ben Stokes!” The timing and power there, absolutely revolting.
114th over: England 283-3 (Sibley 115, Stokes 104) Stokes takes a single, then Sibley wallops four to the fence at deep backward square! That’s the 200 partnership!
113th over: England 278-3 (Sibley 111, Stokes 103) At what point do England open their legs and show their class? It must be soon. Sibley pokes two more.
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
This time, the ball was missing the stumps entirely. Oh, Kemar!
113th over: England 273-3 (Sibley 106, Stokes 103) Here we go again! Roach nobbles Sibley on the pad – the left one this time - and there’s an appeal! It’s refused, so Holder apologetically signals, with 0.0003s remaining.
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112th over: England 273-3 (Sibley 106, Stokes 103) Sibley helps Chase around the, er, proverbial corner for three, the only runs from the over. Meanwhile, Ant Pease has a thought.
“Whennnnnnn the ball’s there to heave/but instead it’s a leave/that’s Dom Sibley/When your primary sense/is a forward defence/that’s Dom Sibley.”
111th over: England 273-3 (Sibley 106, Stokes 103) A single turned into the on side. Classic Dom.
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
It looked decent, I must say, but the ball was trimming the bails, so umpire’s call on that, and Poor Kemar Roach’s search for his wicket ... goes on.
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111th over: England 272-3 (Sibley 105, Stokes 103) Look at Dom! He clumps two to cover, then whips two more to backward square, before Roach beats his outside edge, coming across the pad, and raps the pad! There’s an appeal them, when it’s rejected, a review...
“There’s turn, Dom, but not as we know it,” says William Booth; not as we know it Rooty.
BEN STOKES REACHES HIS HUNDRED!
110th over: England 268-3 (Sibley 101, Stokes 103) After getting two starts at Southampton, Stokes was determined not to let this one slip away – it must be amazing knowing you’re that good at something, and knowing he’s that good at this is one of Stokes’ greatest strengths. He reverse-sweeps Chase for four, and that’s his ton!
Meanwhile, Nicholas Stone emails in with the work I planned to do during lunch till the school run intervened. “I believe Graham Thorpe scored a Test hundred in Pakistan with just one four in it,” he says.
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109th over: England 264-3 (Sibley 101, Stokes 99) Kemar Roach and the Hunt for the Elusive Wicket recommences, and after five dots he swings one into Sibley, who edges onto the pad. There’s a yell, but nothing doing, making it another dot and another maiden.
Right then, here we go.
“As soon as I saw your mention of Dom Sibley and appropriate sing-alongs, there was only one song that came to mind,” says David Sharrock.
“Dom Sibley, across the Universe! Always coming forward, ‘cos he can’t find reverse!”
Potential loss of veracity points here, but there’s play-ons off the inside edge, inside edge, Richie.
Now here’s the good stuff. Adrian Armstrong emails in on “Linguistics, poetics, and Dom Sibley”. Need I say more? No, but he does: “There are two handy things about Dom Sibley’s name that make it easy to fit into lyrics.
One is that the forename can be stressed or unstressed, so the three syllables can form two different kinds of metrical pattern. Either unstressed-stressed-unstressed (technically known as an amphibrach), as in the Half Man Half Biscuit lyric ‘Everybody’s doin’ the Dom Sibley stanc’” - Joe Denly having been usurped. Or stressed-stressed-unstressed (technically an antibacchius), as in HMHB’s title ‘Fuckin’ ’Ell It’s Dom Sibley’.
The other is that the final vowel can easily be lengthened, to the point where it can practically take on the value of a stressed syllable.
More metrical possibilities than scoring strokes, then.”
Great stuff. Is there a single question to which the OBO cannot provide the answer?
That was an excellent session for England. They only scored 57 runs, but they’ve cemented a base and got one, nearly two, men into three figures. They need to stamp on it this afternoon because they need time to take 20 wickets; West Indies would settle for one to begin with. See youse in 30 or so.
108th over: England 264-3 (Sibley 101, Stokes 99) Here it comes! The obligatory over of pre-lunch spin! It yielded two wickets yesterday; what does Roston Chase have for us today? A bit of turn and bounce, as yesterday, is the answer, but Stokes finds a two to deep square onetheless, taking him to 99 ... then Chase coaxes one past his outside edge! It’s thew final ball of the session, and West Indies are struggling.
“Ball synonyms,” fnarr fnarr’s John Starbuck. “You could go back to the 1950s or so and use the term ‘pill’ as in Molesworthspeak. The Red Pill has another meaning.”
Indeed, as any fule kno.
107th over: England 262-3 (Sibley 101, Stokes 97) Stokes looked well chuffed for Sibley as they hugged in celebration, which is lovely to see, and a compliment that looks like being returned when Gabriel hangs one outside off. But Stokes cracks straight to the fielder, wincing and grinning in the knowledge that he missed out. Instead, he twizzles a single to long leg.
“Maybe don’t put the opposition in to bat after the previous Test finished three days prior,” says Robert Speed, “despite the always-tantalising prospect of it nipping about early doors. It’s always worse batting conditions in the fourth innings compared to the first. I’m constantly amazed how often captains make this same error.”
I guess it worked for West Indies last week, but yes, it looks like a big mistake now. However, if they’d bowled well first up, things would look very different.
SIBLEY REACHES HIS CENTURY!
106th over: England 261-3 (Sibley 101, Stokes 96) Stokes takes one into the the on side, AND THERE IT IS! Sibley forces down the ground, sending Gabriel huffing after it for extra points, and they run three! He’s bagged it up! I wonder how many Test tons have come with just four fours; can’t be many. Anyway, well batted Sir.
Anyone not in the UK and seeking TMS, if yoU go to the BBC’s coverage, you can click on “natural sounds” and that should do it for youse.
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105th over: England 256-3 (Sibley 98, Stokes 94) Gabriel returns and beats Stokes immediately, schlepping some extra bounce out of the pitch and rapping a finger; naturally, the ball dies immediately afterwards. A single then gives Sibley the chance to get the brace he needs, but not when there are leaves to be played.
“Nope!” begins Matt Doy. “‘Dom Sibley’ is indeed excellent for this game. But Matthew Snow has made a horrible error. The only way to truly work Dom Sibley into No Diggity is to add an extra ‘Eng-ur-land’ style middle syllable. ‘Sibley’ is a two syllable trochee, not a three syllable dactyl. I’m not buying it, and I will die on this hill.”
In Hebrew, this is called a shva na, now that you ask, and I too have been known to take the difference between it and its opposite, a shva nach, with all the seriousness it deserves.
104th over: England 255-3 (Sibley 98, Stokes 93) Five dots and an official warning for Joseph, who wanders onto the pitch, before Stokes bunts to mid off for one.
“Alf Valentine played a partial season as professional for my village team Rishton in the Lancashire League in the late 1950s, says Iain Noble. “He was a real gent and could make the ball talk. Other notable Rishton professionals were S F Barnes (yes, the Sid Barnes), Subash Gupte, Johnny Wardle, Peter ‘Sounda’ Sleep and a certain IVA Richards (one season sponsored by Hollands’ Meat Pies).”
Athers presented a really good doc about West Indians in the Lancashire leagues – it was last summer I think.
103rd over: England 254-3 (Sibley 98, Stokes 92) Sibley clips two more, then Roach almost persuades Stokes to indulge in timepassing flirtation outside off, but the bat is removed at the last. The partnership is now 173.
102nd over: England 252-3 (Sibley 96, Stokes 92) Joseph returns and Stokes welcomes him back with an edge for four through gully, then clodhops down the track and times a beautiful straight drive to the fence. West Indies need something, badly; meanwhile, does coming in at a decent score paradoxically ratchet up the pressure on Jos Buttler?
“The crimson rambler” is one old-time euphemism for a cricket ball that I quite like,” says Steve Hudson. That’s lovely - let’s not wonder if the ball really is crimson - and very easy to work into this.
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101st over: England 242-3 (Sibley 96, Stokes 84) Roach serves Sibley one right in the slot, which he duly turns around the corner for two; he’s stepping on the gas now, and he’s nearly there! Five dots follow, because they can do no other.
“WI are racking up the maidens,” emails Gary Stanley, “but they have got some way to go if they want to match the 6 ball over record set by AL Valentine. 116 overs – 75 maidens – 7 for 127 at Lord’s in 1950. Eyes down lads!”
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100th over: England 242-3 (Sibley 94, Stokes 84) I wonder if Stokes is getting ready to go now, but it’s Sibley who unfurls an expansive pull at the start of Holder’s next over; they run three.
“I enjoy your cricket ball synonyms (the recent ‘obelisk’ being a particular favourite)“ says Mac Millings, “but I’m worried that, after using that one a few times, as well as sphere, meteorite, vector of disease, and so on, you’re going to run out. I have, therefore, come up with an over’s worth of new cricket ball names for you. I live to help. Comet, ladybird, conker, spleen, haemorrhoid, nipple.”
I think this is another thing for which we have SK Warne to thank – he loves a nut, a cherry and a rock – and I’m always happy to add new words to the lexicon.
99th over: England 239-3 (Sibley 91, Stokes 84) Roach is around to Stokes now, and when he bangs to mid on, he tries a single; Sibley waves him right back from whence he came. But the next delivery is too straight and Stokes flicks it away for three, then Sibley cruises off 90 with ... a single off his pads. Glorious.
98th over: England 235-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 81) Holder squares Stokes right up, only to be edged for four! A single follows, and this is beginning to grate the tourists.
“I like the way you work it,” says Matthew Snow; why thank you! Oh. “(Dom Sibley) I got to bag it up I like the way you work it (Dom Sibley) I got to bag it up (bag it up girl) I like the way you work it (Dom Sibley) I got to bag it up (bag it up).”
Hey yo, hey yo, hey yo, Chris Woakes.
Ok, it’s time: can someone who knows about I don’t know, linguistics, or poetics, explain why Sibley is so good for this game? Is is the three syllables? The “ee” sound?
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97th over: England 230-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 78) Roach is looking decent this morning; is “this morning” correct even though it’s actually afternoon, because it’s still the morning session? Anyhow, five dots before Stokes half-bats to mid on and they zip through for a single; these two have run between the wickets really well. Sibley hasn’t scored a run for seven overs and i’d not be surprised if Stokes got to a hundred before him.
96th over: England 229-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 75) Robkey reckons West Indies were wrong not to take the new globe on the basis that the old one wasn’t reversing or anything and England would not have wanted to face it. In the meantime ... and steady yourselves for this one ... Sibley plays out a Holder maiden, as Ebony shows us that West Indies have been much fuller this morning, inducing plenty of false shots. The problem, in mine, has been an inability to maintain the pressure of seriously testing balls.
95th over: England 229-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 75) On comes Pankaj Kemar Roach, who’s now 78 Test overs without a wicket, and he nails Stokes twice in two balls, tempting a leading edge then spiriting one past the outside edge – that second one, in particular, was an excellent sphere. Maiden.
“Not sure about all this chat about Sibley’s strike rate,” says Richard Coyle. “It isn’t that different to Stokes’ in this innings, and he is one of the most brutal quick scoring batsmen in the game. Could it just be the conditions and pitch reward patience?”
That’s definitely part of it, but I’m pretty sure it’s not all of it.
94th over: England 228-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 75) Holder takes the new ball and whams Stokes on the pad with his third ball, but it was high and going down. And his next delivery shows why he kept plodding with the old obelisk; he hangs it outside off, and Stokes times him beautifully through midwicket for four.
“You can of course sing ‘Dom Sibley’ to any of the many songs in which Bo Diddley uses his own name,” says Richard O’Hagan, “including the imaginatively titled ‘Bo Diddley’.”
I wonder if he had a personalised number plate.
93rd over: England 224-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 71) Stokes sees away four dots, then Gabriel sling him a full bunger, wide; Stokes doesn’t get all of it, and they run two. But this has been the problem with West Indies bowling so far: too many bad balls, not enough good ones. I believe they call that insight. Anyhow, Stokes drops into the on side and they scramble a further single.
“John Kettley alternate lyrics with cricketers,” begins Mac Millings. “Warning: this is dreadful. But do sing along. Dom Sibley Ishant Bannerman, Bland Sohail Bichel Vish.”
You tell Aamer he’s boring.
92nd over: England 221-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 68) Holder invites himself to have a go, and Stokes takes his second delivery for one, down to fine leg; Sibley then plays out four dots, as Nasser wonders at what point England get a wriggle on.
“May I take issue with Nasser’s use yesterday of the word bunsen as rhyming slang for slow turner?” asks Kim Thonger. “While that may be appropriate for an Essex big bash game, it’s rather déclassé for Test matches in other more refined parts of the nation. I think a ‘Joseph William Mallord’ or, as I prefer, for short, a ‘J.M.W.’, has more gravitas and dignity, don’t you?”
Or a “nice little”, as in an earner.
91st over: England 220-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 67) I get why West Indies haven’t taken the new meteorite yet, and that leaking runs would kill them, but they badly need a breakthrough. In the meantime, Gabriel nails Stokes, too good for his edge and too high for the stumps; Stokes then slips and plays the next delivery while nosediving down the track, running one.
“If Sibley and Bess bat together,” says Barney Jeffies ... can you see where this one is going ... “we can sing some Tina Turner.”
It’s Sibley and Bess! Outstanding, going to stick on Capital Gold immediately, it’ll be on any minute.
90th over: England 219-3 (Sibley 90, Stokes 66) Eesh! Sibley edges Joseph, but the ball drops short of slip, by plenty, then after yet another dot he prods two to cover which takes him into the 90s – but this is batting from a decade well before that.
I’ve just flicked to my email to discover four five missives with “Sibley songs” in the subject box. I love my job.
“I think you’ll find repleacing the words ‘Generals and Majors’ in the eponymous XTC song works very well,” says Peter Salmon.
“Dominic Sibley ah ah
Is never too far
From battlefields so glorious
Out in a world of his own
He’ll never come down
Till once again victorious, whoa.”
89th over: England 217-3 (Sibley 88, Stokes 66) Gabriel beats Sibley outside off, twice – he’s not quite middling his leave this morning – before a singgle to cover retains the strike.
As for the below, I don’t know. By which I mean I literally don’t know, and also that I just don’t know because how can we rely on someone with Boris Johnson’s track record? On which point – and bear with me on this – I wrote something about Jaws.
Sounds like Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval from Friday could be one of two county friendlies used as pilot events https://t.co/2biGJaK7VF
— Will Macpherson (@willis_macp) July 17, 2020
88th over: England 216-3 (Sibley 87, Stokes 66) Joseph and Gabriel are both growing into the day, finding a much better line and length than earlier. This is a good over from the former, asking questions of Stokes and enticing him to play and miss just outside off. Another maiden.
“Steven Van Zandt makes a contentious selection point,” emails Mark Hooper. “‘I ain’t gonna play Dom Sibley’”.
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87th over: England 216-3 (Sibley 87, Stokes 66) There we go! It may be old but there’s some action in this piano ball, and Gabriel diddles Stokes with one that nips away, then wallops him on the pad with one that was just sliding down, before a twizzle to deep square adds a single.
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86th over: England 215-3 (Sibley 87, Stokes 65) You’re not going to believe me when I say this, but it’s true, I promise: Sibley plays out another maiden.
85th over: England 215-3 (Sibley 87, Stokes 65) I don’t think it’ll be long before West Indies take the new ball – they’ll want these two bowlers to enjoy it fresh. But in the meantime, Gabriel cedes a single and wide before going around the wicket to Sibley; it takes him a couple of deliveries to find his range, before he forces a defensive shot, cramping yerman just outside off, then gates away with what should’ve been another wide.
“Dom Sibley songs,” is one of the greatest email subjects lines I’ve ever seen; here’s Tom Paternoster-Howe with more: “I sing ‘Dom Sibley’ to this slice of pure genius from Sly & the Family Stone,” he says, “but I think I might now switch to your novelty pop delight.”
I love that!
84th over: England 213-3 (Sibley 86, Stokes 65) A bucket with sawdust comes out - Joseph must’ve brought his pet hamster, Colin, into the middle – but some is put on the run-up area too. Stokes opens the account for the morning with a shove to mid on, then a thick outside-edge adds four more.
“You know you’ve been watching too much cricket when you look at the start time instead of out the window when deciding whether or not to leave the house,” emails Michael Robinson. What’s “leaving the house”? This is the OBO you know.
83rd over: England 207-3 (Sibley 86, Stokes 59) Gabriel has the ball, and we’re told it’s slightly warmer today than yesterday and also not as breezy; “Should be batting day,” says Bumble. Sibley plays out a maiden – of course he does – while Mikey says everything to him needs to begin outside off stump, whether it’s moving in or out, and the penultimate delivery does just that, beating him moving away off the seam.
“From last winter,” tweets Bob O’Hara: “‘Zak Crawley is an opener, and so is Dom Sib-ley’. Ugh. I think we now know why he was demoted to 3.”
I agree, my version is far, far superior.
Here come the players...
“You know you’ve been watching too much cricket when...” begins Alok Prasanna Kumar. “You’ve memorised all the words in all the ad jingles that play between the overs.”
Incredible India!
Or, in other words, you know you’ve been watching too much cricket when....
Feel free to send in your personal completions of that sentence.
Also on Sibley, and returning to yesterday’s patter about an OBO playlist, is anyone else singing his name to this? Dom Sibley is an opener, and so is Rory Burns.
“Permission to declare my adoration for Dom Sibley?” rhetorical questions Guy Hornsby, who well knows that adoration is what the OBO is all about. “I know for a long time we wanted six Warner or Kohlis to be a dominant Test side, but surely our ongoing fragility demands a Sibley at the top. It went ok for Cook. Wearing bowlers down is key to making hay at 4/5/6.”
I agree – I don’t think there’s a formula that results in a good team beyond having good players, and that is absolutely one way of doing it. If Sibley is good, he’s good.
“Regarding Archer,” says Tom Marlow, “if someone informed on him would it be a case of bubble and squeak? Sorry, I need to get out more. Looking forward to another great day’s play. Be nice to see England put back-to-back sessions on top, even three if that’s not over-optimistic, and put some pressure on the opposition for the bowlers to exploit. But these teams seem evenly matched. Should be fascinating.”
They are, but this track has, unwittingly, taken away a lot of what West Indies do well, and by inserting England, they’ve added SB Pressure to their bowling attack. That might be the difference here.
Sibley tells Athers he doesn’t sleep well when he’s not out overnight and didn’t last night. He says the pitch is soft and two-paced but he hopes to get through the new ball and “build an innings”; er, you’ve sort of done that already mate. He says he’s always been able to bat long period of time, and talks himself through good periods for the bowlers, then goes on to explain, when prompted, that he’s been thinking about not glancing to leg slip – yesterday he allowed a ball to hit him – and that so few bouncers were bowled at him because the pitch offered so little help.
Email! “Not wanting to be a pedant,” begins David Harland, “but then again this is the OBO so I will be anyway ... surely Jason Holder is is West Indies’ best bowler over the angel Gabriel? His figures from recent tests are incredible (or at least that’s what Andy Saltzman said yesterday!!)“
His recent figures are great, it’s true, and he is also great. But the England batsmen say Gabriel is the hardest to face, apparently, and that looks the case to me watching on telly too. I might be wrong, though.
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There was a lot of talk yesterday about Dominic Sibley’s batting style, but ultimately, where would England be without him? Batsmen want to put pressure back on the bowlers, but that needn’t mean whacking them off their length; the knowledge that anything wide is getting left and anything straight is getting nurdled brings its own issues. Alastair Cook and Jonathan Trott showed that you can be an outstanding Test player with very few principal shots; if Sibley can develop a cut, that might just be enough for him.
I hope we see the best of Shannon Gabriel today, who struggled for rhythm yesterday and perhaps felt the effects of bowling nearly 37 overs in the first Test. West Indies know that England aren’t going to give it away – yes, I really typed those words, but what I probably meant is that West Indies know Sibley and Stokes aren’t going to give it away – so will be relying on their best bowler to show up.
On the pitch, there’s a chance that we’ll see it quicken up over the next few days. There’s still a bit of rain forecast, but if it’s sunny or sunnyish the rest of the time, we might see it dry out, which would probably please everyone – batsmen, quicks, spinners, viewers.
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Preamble
If life teaches us anything, it’s that we’re better and worse than everyone else. So there was a certain indulgent, masochistic pleasure in yesterday’s fare, one for the purists and the impure that was both uninteresting and disinteresting for more normal, abnormal people.
And, by the end of it, England had lurched into a strong position. If they can avoid collapse – ! – in the early part of the day, they’ll be in control of the match, which is to say that the first hour will be crucial, then the hour after that, the hour after that and the hour after that.
West Indies, meanwhile, will know that even without playing well, they missed chances to take command, so can reasonably rationalise that even a par performance will stick them right up in England’s grille.
Ultimately, the unavoidably sluggish nature of the pitch means we might be feeling inferior and superior this time tomorrow too – but there’s more than enough talent and stakes out in the middle to take all that out of the equation.
Play: 11am BST
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