And here’s Vic Marks’s match report:
That’s a very happy end to a largely excellent summer for England. Jonny Bairstow played another superb innings, battering 141 not out from 117 balls, and it was clear as early as the second or third over that England were going to win this match with ease.
“Thanks to you and all your colleagues for this season’s OBOs,” says Brian Withington. “Have helped make a summer otherwise stuck indoors fly by - hope to be kept awake by you this winter (in a manner of speaking).”
Thanks Brian. And thanks to all of you who have read or emailed during a really enjoyable summer. See you for the Ashes!
ENGLAND WIN BY NINE WICKETS AND TAKE THE SERIES 4-0
38 overs: England 288-1 (Bairstow 141, Root 46) Root completes the most emphatic victory, with 72 balls and nine wickets to spare, by carting Marlon Samuels down the ground for six!
37th over: England 281-1 (Bairstow 135, Root 39) Bairstow hammers Nurse through mid-off for four. He can be brutal when the mood takes, and it has certainly taken him in the last half an hour or so. A second boundary, blasted through extra cover, makes this the highest ODI score by an England batsman against West Indies.
“What’s the DLS score?” says Dave Voss. “Are England up with the rate?”
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36th over: England 269-1 (Bairstow 124, Root 38) Bairstow flips Cummins through midwicket for his 13th four, and then crashes another through extra cover. He has dominated this partnership, wirh Root happy to stay in unobtrusive mode.
“Maybe Root should bat at No11,” says Simon McMahon, “so that when England are 75-9 and the Aussies see Root walking out to the middle, they flip themselves and bowl filth, allowing Root and Anderson to add 150 for the last wicket and gain the psychological upper hand. Gotta think outside the box in Oz.”
35th over: England 255-1 (Bairstow 113, Root 37) England are hurrying to victory. Bairstow pulls four more round the corner, this time off Taylor.
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34th over: England 249-1 (Bairstow 108, Root 36) Four more to Bairstow, muscled over midwicket off Cummins. In the Tests he had a slightly disappointing summer for a player of his ability, with no hundreds and an average of 32, but it’s been a breakthrough year in ODIs. He has become an extremely good all-weather player.
33rd over: England 241-1 (Bairstow 101, Root 35) After an interminable drinks break, Jonny Bairstow rushes to his second ODI century in fine style. He hit the first two balls from Jerome Taylor for four to move to 99 and then steered a single to reach his hundred. He’s such a likeable, impressive bloke and it’s lovely to see him make such an impact in the ODI team. The second of those boundaries was possibly the shot of the innings, a beautifully timed back-foot drive through extra cover that teased two fielders and seemed to pick up pace as it approached the boundary.
“Aside from his keeping, which was outstanding, Knotty played really good shots which few others attempted at the time since they didn’t see the possibilities like he did,” says John Starbuck. “As he was a fairly short bloke (as many good keepers are), he wasn’t afraid to get down low for floor-level sweeps. The reverse sweep would have suited him down to the ground.”
It does sound like he was decades ahead of his time, with bat and gloves. Selve always writes beautifully about him, particularly in reference to the 1976-77 tour of India.
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32nd over: England 228-1 (Bairstow 91, Root 32) A long, long summer is ending quietly, on the field at least. The main point of interest is whether Bairstow can end the series as he started it, with a century. He crunches a yorker from Cummins down the ground for a single to move within nine of his hundred.
31st over: England 226-1 (Bairstow 90, Root 31) Bairstow steers a cut shot for four off Taylor, lifts another over the top for four more. He averages 105 in ODIs this summer: 72*, 51, 43, 100*, 9*, 13, 39 and 90*. In other news, I think I’ve missed an over somewhere. So sue me!
“Who cares about the Ashes anyway?” sniffs Simon McMahon. “Frankly, it’s all about the 2019 World Cup.. And there’s got to be a World T20 in 2020, right? Even the ICC wouldn’t miss that opportunity.”
Yeah, have a nice life, “Ashes”. I never liked you anyway.
29th over: England 214-1 (Bairstow 79, Root 30) “Darren Stevens!” says Scott Richmond. “Yes he 41, yes he is uncapped, but this is a very beatable Australian team who do crumble under pressure. Stevens would show that toil in the county circuit pays off no matter what the age; that form and results are more important than track record; and he’d bring a great storyline to the tour which would be great for English cricket. Simply put: Stokes bad, Stevens good.”
I would love it if you were right, love it. And I agree that England would benefit enormously from a David Steele figure; I just don’t think there is one.
28th over: England 205-1 (Bairstow 75, Root 25) Root pulls Joseph smoothly for his first boundary, taking England past 200 in the process. They are administering one helluva beating here.
27th over: England 195-1 (Bairstow 72, Root 17) “Evening Rob,” says Harkarn Sumal. “We had the immense good fortune to be at Lord’s for the Women’s World Cup final back in July. What a nerve-shredding, heart-stopping, brain-frazzling day that was. Surely the zenith of this summer’s cricket. In amongst all the awful lows (the first ninety overs) and the searing highs (the last ten), the highlight for our gaggle in the Edrich Upper was the sensational stumping that Sarah Taylor clearly made when an Indian batter lifted her foot for a nanosecond, in respect of which the third umpire deigned to give the batter the benefit of the doubt for some inexplicable reason. Having been to international cricket regularly for over a decade and having watched on telly since the mid-eighties, it was for me the single finest bit of standing-up ‘keeping I’ve ever seen. It was pure silken magic.”
I know it can be crass to compare women’s and men’s sport, but every time I see Sarah Taylor I realise why the generation before mine still talk in hushed tones about Alan Knott. She has an otherworldly genius.
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26th over: England 189-1 (Bairstow 71, Root 13) Rovman Powell comes into the attack and is milked for six no-risk runs. England need 100 from 24 overs, and the players on both sides know this game is over. The only question now is whether we’ll be home in time for the new series of The Last Leg.
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25th over: England 183-1 (Bairstow 67, Root 11) “No3 isn’t difficult,” says Jon Millard. “All a decent No3 needs is the mental agility to rapidly assess the situation and determine which of his two natural games, the nuggety opener or Gower-esque stroke player is called for. And, I suppose, the ability to pull the requisite game out of the hat. Oh, and the nous to spot early the situation changing and switch to the other one effortlessly. Or, of course, improvise if that’s what’s really needed. Frankly, if we can’t find someone who can do this shortly after a long day in the field, or in the last four overs before close, we’re looking in the wrong place.”
24th over: England 181-1 (Bairstow 66, Root 10) A slower leg-break from Cummins slips down the leg side and turns past the keeper Hope for five wides. Root then survives an extremely good LBW appeal when he whips across the line. West Indies have already used their review. No matter, because Ultra-Edge shows a very slight inside edge that was superbly spotted by Simon Fry. That really was brilliant umpiring.
“You and the other OBO writers should heed the Stokes Lesson,” says John Starbuck. “Get all your nights out done before the Ashes and the seat-wrenching midnight blogs. You might not feel much inclined to do it at the end of the series so make merry while you can.”
The Guardian selectors haven’t picked the squad yet but I’ll heed the lesson, just in case. Hic!
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23rd over: England 170-1 (Bairstow 63, Root 9) Bairstow and Root are two Yorkshire folk who are very happy to get ‘em in singles. They run quite brilliantly together and have already scampered 14 runs from 10 balls in this partnership.
“Hi Rob,” says Derek Fordham. “That video must be a fake. Too much about it is odd. He just drops the ball afterwards? They are practicing with a new ball? He doesn’t go all ‘arry Redknapp on the guy who has nearly killed them (“...that’s why he’s in the effing reserves”). Then they just wander off? Nah.”
22nd over: England 162-1 (Bairstow 60, Root 4) Joe Root, very happy to bat No3 in the ODI team, gets off the mark by pulling his first ball for a couple.
“That Alastair Cook clip is remarkable,” says Matt Dony. “He really does bring ‘unflappable’ to wild new levels ‘nonchalant’. He is chalant embodied, and has never been flapped.”
WICKET! England 156-1 (Roy LBW b Cummins 96)
Jason Roy falls four short of a century, trapped plumb in front by the new bowler Cummins. Roy got in a bit of a tangle and played a strange shot down the wrong line. It’s a shame he missed out on a hundred but it was another spectacular innings: 96 off 70 balls to follow 84 from 66 on Wednesday. Yeah, he’s back.
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21st over: England 154-0 (Roy 94, Bairstow 59) Roy moves into the nerveless nineties by pulling Nurse straight down the ground for four. This is turning into a rare old thrashing.
“Here’s the one I was looking for earlier,” says Brian Withington. “Marcus must have snaffled it no more than an inch off the ground to the disbelieving horror of Eskinazi and the delight of Somerset bowler and fielders. Genuinely uplifting moment - even without any Essex supporting schadenfreude connotations regarding Middlesex’s relegation (as if).”
20th over: England 146-0 (Roy 87, Bairstow 58) Bairstow sweeps Samuels very hard for four, another excellent stroke. Then Roy lifts him miles over midwicket for six, an even better stroke. England are halfway to their target, and are playing with such ease that it will almost be a disappointment if they don’t win by ten wickets.
19th over: England 135-0 (Roy 78, Bairstow 52) Bairstow reaches another high-class fifty from 48 balls. It’ll be interesting to see who opens for England in their next ODI at the MCG in January. Their depth of batting in ODI cricket is almost comical.
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18th over: England 126-0 (Roy 76, Bairstow 49) A victory here would mean England have won 15 of their last 17 completed ODIs, and 11 out of 13 this summer. That defeat to Pakistan in the Champions Trophy semi-final gets more frustrating by the day.
17th over: England 119-0 (Roy 76, Bairstow 42) Roy edges Nurse through the vacant slip area for four. This is far too easy for England, who need 170 from the last 33 overs.
“If we accept that players like Stokes are once a generation, then surely not trying to replace him is the best option,” says Felix Wood. “England spent lots of frustrating years trying to find the new Botham, and it always ended in tears. If Stokes is out the best thing is to start from scratch. As for the fire thing, I think that there’s a number of options between putting out the fire and not getting out of control at two thirty in the morning mid series. I think he really needs to consider whether real mates would let him be in the position in the first place.”
Oh I agree. I was only referring to his on-field fire. He clearly needs to, and will, change his lifestyle. I just hope being burned at the social-media stake doesn’t impact upon his performances whenever he returns. And yes, I also agree about replacing him: you can’t, so don’t bother trying. That said, Ronnie Irani’s got unfinished business at Test level?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
16th over: England 111-0 (Roy 70, Bairstow 40) Marlon Samuels comes on to bowl a bit of right-arm slow. He owes West Indies a few wickets after an abysmal series with the bat, in which he has a 1980s strike rate of 49 runs per 100 balls. Nothing much happens in his first over, which is milked for six runs. It’s time for drinks.
15th over: England 105-0 (Roy 65, Bairstow 39) Roy drives Nurse for a single to bring up the hundred. It’s not beyond the realms that England could break their own record for the highest target in a ten-wicket ODI victory; Roy and Alex Hales chased down 255 against Sri Lanka a year ago.
14th over: England 99-0 (Roy 61, Bairstow 37) A short ball from Joseph is spanked through midwicket for four by Roy. He carries on merrily with another pull for four, this time a beautifully controlled stroke. He’ll be desperate to get his fourth ODI hundred after missing out at the Oval.
“Surely if Cook and Stoneman have batted for two hours, they don’t need Root to go in at No3,” says Graham O’Reilly. “The other thing is, you’ve gone for Ballance at 3 ‘to buy some time for the strokemakers’. You mean, like an opener would?”
Yep, in the circumstances, and with Australian conditions in mind, I’d have picked three openers. As for Root at No3, the main argument for batting him at No4 is that he gets a bit of a rest after the Australian innings. If England were, say, 100 for one, I’d absolutely want him coming in to build on such a good start. That said, you can make a good argument both ways. This situation does make you realise what a rare gem England had in Jonathan Trott. No3 is probably the hardest position to fill in a Test team.
13th over: England 88-0 (Roy 51, Bairstow 36) Roy pushes Nurse for a single to reach back-to-back fifties, this one from 43 balls. When he’s good, he’s pretty damn good, and he has batted so dominantly since returning to the side earlier in the week.
12th over: England 85-0 (Roy 49, Bairstow 35) Joseph returns to the attack, with West Indies in dire need of wicket. The increasingly dominant Bairstow uppercuts superbly for four more. England are batting brilliantly here and have reduced the target to 204 from 38 overs.
“I was looking for the video clip of Marcus Trescothick’s great kneeling catch “at prayer” against Middlesex yesterday, and stumbled on this remarkable Alastair Cook moment earlier in the season,” says Brian Withington. “Staggering reflexes in the (not so) old dog that may be further tested this winter.”
Oh my, that’s a great find. Alastair Cook, the most nonchalant saver of lives since Doogie Howser MD.
11th over: England 77-0 (Roy 48, Bairstow 28) The big offspinner Ashley Nurse comes into the attack. It’s all very low-key out there, with England apparently cruising to victory. Bairstow crashes a fine drive through extra cover for four more.
“If we are talking about a like-for-like Stokes’ replacement, a fast bowling all-rounder, many fall out of contention on an age basis such as Keith Barker, Rikki Clark, Darren Stevens etc,” says Peter Rowntree. “The only name which really comes to mind, and it’s a hell of a risk in terms of stepping up into international cricket from Div 2 is Ed Barnard. Let’s hope things do not turn out to be as bad for Stokes as they look right now.”
I’m also worried about Stokes in the long term, whether the partially contrived outrage in the media will insidiously compromise the competitiveness that is so fundamental to his greatness. I know it’s a cliché, but there’s no Stokes without fire.
10th over: England 71-0 (Roy 47, Bairstow 23) “Evening Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Hard not to love Moeen, but I was at the Old Trafford Test back in early August, and to see James Anderson take a wicket in his first over from the James Anderson End was pretty special. As for the OBO, did we all agree that Root should bat at 3 in Australia?”
I’d bat him wherever he wants, which is clearly No4. There are huge risks in forcing him to bat No3, particularly on a tour that will drain his mental energy like nothing he has ever experienced. That said, I wonder if they could be a little more flexible - if Cook and Stoneman bat for, say, a minimum of two hours, then Root goes up to No3.
9th over: England 63-0 (Roy 44, Bairstow 18) Roy slaps Taylor just over the leaping backward point for four. He is such fun to watch when he’s in this mood, and on today of all days he has 44 not out from 35 balls.
“Totally agree that there’s no off-the-shelf all rounder ready to replace Stokes, but who would you take in TRJ’s absence?” says Rob Razzell. “Has Porter done enough, or is he too much of an English-conditions type?”
Haven’t they already picked Overton? I haven’t seen anything of Porter, though from afar he seems a bit too English in style for an Ashes tour.
8th over: England 54-0 (Roy 36, Bairstow 17) A wide ball from Cummins is flashed through backward point for four by Roy, who then survives an LBW review next ball. It was a good nipbacker from Cummins that hit him on both pads, and the umpire Simon Fry said not out. It looked close so West Indies reviewed; replays showed the point of contact with the outside of leg stump was umpire’s call. Bairstow, who has been happy to potter along in the background, reminds us of his attacking prowess with a hearty thump through mid-off for four.
7th over: England 43-0 (Roy 31, Bairstow 12) Taylor has bowled well, four overs for12, but the flurry of boundaries at the other end means West Indies are already in urgent need of a wicket or three.
“Not sure we can continue to reject players like Stevens on the grounds of age, though relevant Test experience is an issue,” says John Starbuck. “Lots of sports have participants continuing much longer than they used to do because they take better care of themselves, such as Italian footballers, tennis champions achieving comebacks and of course boxing, though that has its own peculiarities. I suspect that Collingwood is going as both a coach and a possible back-up all-rounder who is still plenty active in the game.”
I wish he was, as I always wanted a Lord Cowdrey story of my own, but I’m pretty sure he’s not. With Stevens, age is a valid consideration in Australia, I think (remember the Gooch/Gatting tour of 94-95); but more than that, fine county player though he has been, he’s not good enough to face Australia in Australia.
5th over: England 29-0 (Roy 18, Bairstow 11) “Moment of the summer has to be Shai Hope at Headingley,” says Jimmy Ainsworth. “You talk about inscrutability but the celebration for his second century was astonishingly low key. I look more emotional putting the bins out. Made me proud to be West Indian, and I’m not remotely West Indian.”
6th over: England 39-0 (Roy 28, Bairstow 11) Roy thumps the new bowler Cummins for a couple of boundaries through the covers. Roy has gone off like a getaway driver and has 28 from 21 balls.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Harkarn Sumal. “When we’ve been batting in the longer form, I have never seen Chris Woakes do anything other than bat like a proper test batsman. I mean a real, Collingwoodesque bat. Dull, with occasional startling pyrotechnics. Despite invariably tootling in at 8, 9 or 10, he seems to have both the technique and the temperament to go in at five or six. Perhaps the answer is there, right in front of our noses? Woakes 5, Bairstow 6, Ali 7, and then slot in the rest behind them. You can then have an out-and-out bowler who can bat a little joining Messrs Broad, Ball, Anderson, probably at 8. Anyway, goodness knows. Let’s just keep everything crossed and hope it pans out like the “can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field” tour of ‘87.”
Six bowlers and four specialist batsmen? That seems a bit cavalier. In times of trouble we’re always drawn towards extreme or unusual selections – I suspect it’s a legacy of growing up in the 80s and 90s – but the simplest solution is usually the best. From the current squad I would go for Cook, Stoneman, Ballance, Root, Vince, Bairstow, Moeen, Woakes, Overton, Broad, Anderson. Ballance is No3 is not ideal but nor is anyone else, and he might at least buy some time for the strokemakers as he did in Cardiff two years ago.
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4th over: England 27-0 (Roy 17, Bairstow 10) You can tell a lot about the state of a game from the topic of conversation among the commentators. Rob Key and Sir Ian Botham are talking about Richie McCaw. This is not a particularly tense run-chase, hence the digressions, and at the moment England are cruising. Roy, who looks close to his thrilling best, drives and pulls Joseph for consecutive boundaries.
3rd over: England 15-0 (Roy 6, Bairstow 9) There would be no point trying to replace Stokes with an all-rounder, because there isn’t one. I think five bowlers are essential for this particular attack in Australia, so you could just move Bairstow and Moeen up a place. That’s not ideal, I realise, but English cricket departed an ideal world at 2.30am on Monday morning.
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2nd over: England 11-0 (Roy 5, Bairstow 6) Alzarri Joseph, who took a futile five-for two days ago, shares the new ball. England get stuck into him from the start, with Bairstow clipping four through midwicket and Roy muscling a pull to the square-leg boundary.
1st over: England 2-0 (Roy 1, Bairstow 1) Jerome Taylor opens the bowling. Nothing to see here, just a couple of singles.
“Dear Rob,” says Joe Tomlinson. “Following on from the earlier discussion about who could replace Ben Stokes, I have two words that I have surprisingly not seen posted yet: Darren Stevens. Better fc batting average, similar bowling average, fills the batting allrounder slot very well. Worth considering lending your support to this one? I’m sure a word on the OBO will go a long way to influencing Mr Whittaker.”
I love a maverick selection but, much as I admire Stevens at county level, picking an uncapped 41-year-old might be a stretch.
Hello there, happy end-of-summer day. England need 289 to secure their biggest ODI series victory against West Indies. There have been three 3-0 wins - 1988, 1991, and earlier this year - but never a 4-0. It would be a nice way to end the summer.
I was thinking about my moment of the summer earlier today, and was almost surprised to realise just how many impressive, spectacular or feelgood moments there have been: Shai Hope and the Headingley miracle, Pakistan’s spine-tingling Champions Trophy win, England’s spine-tingling World Cup win, Morne Morkel’s happy-go-lucky brilliance, Jimmy Anderson’s 500th Test wicket and much else besides.
I think my favourite moment was the celebration of Moeen Ali’s hat-trick at the Oval. The wait, the boyish glee on Moeen’s usually inscrutable face and the sheer joy of his team-mates’ celebration. All in all, it was pretty lovely.
A shorter innings break because of the time lost early doors, so we’ll be back for the England reply post-haste. Rob Smyth will guide you through that, so I shall leave you with him. Your emails from this point to Rob.Smyth@theGuardian.com.
England require 289 to win the fifth and final ODI against West Indies
Well, it’s just about a score. But that dithering in the middle overs against the spinners from Samuels and Shai Hope might ultimately cost them. The pitch is decent so you’d expect England to knock these off with relative comfort, but you do of course never know...
50th over: West Indies 288-6 (Ambris 38, Nurse 31) It’s Ball with the last over, and two singles come from the first two balls, before Nurse drops to one knee and smears four over straight cover. Then he tries an outrageous scoop from a ball that would’ve been close to an off-side wide, getting another four for his troubles. A repeat of the cover thwack is tried, but this one plugs in the turf and they settle for two, and from the last ball he tries the same shot again, but this time can only get an under-edge and they dash through for a single.
49th over: West Indies 275-6 (Ambris 37, Nurse 19) Curran up for his last one, starting with a good yorker then following it with an excellent slower ball that kicks up. But then, another slower one is quite emphatically picked by Nurse, who batters it over long-on for six. And then another slower one, which Nurse smacks but it goes high, high, high in the air - Plunkett gets under it just inside the boundary, but ends up dropping the ball over the ropes, for another six. Along with a couple of couples, that’s 16 from the over, and West Indies are approaching something like a score.
48th over: West Indies 259-6 (Ambris 34, Nurse 6) Nurse is the new man, and gets off the mark thanks to some poor fielding, as Morgan lets one through his grasp and they come back for two. A rather more deliberate few runs next, as Nurse raises a leg and flicks one round the corner than Bairstow can’t stop from reaching the boundary.
WICKET! Powell b Plunkett 11 (9) - West Indies 253-6
Plunkett in for his last over, and Powell launches a meaty pull way over mid-wicket for six. Then he misses out in quite a profound way, missing a highish full toss that takes out off stump.
47th over: West Indies 246-5 (Ambris 33, Powell 5) Curran returns for Plunkett, and Powell goes for the biggest hoik you’ve ever seen but completely misses a slower ball. A single then Ambris repeats it, but this time it was too wide, and is called as such. The last ball is another slowie, this time really slow, and again Ambris swipes and misses. Decent over from Curran: five from it.
46th over: West Indies 241-5 (Ambris 31, Powell 3) A couple of fours for Ambris, as he squirts one through point-ish, then Ball tries the other side and instead offers up a leg-stump half-volley, which is firmly clipped past fine-leg. A few balls later there’s another one of those, but this time Bairstow dashes around to make a good save. Good over though: 14 from it.
45th over: West Indies 227-5 (Ambris 18, Powell 2) Plunkett’s here for a bowl, and we have five singles from the over. Sorry, not a huge amount more to say about that one.
44th over: West Indies 222-5 (Ambris 15, Powell 0) They crossed, so Ambris takes a single.
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WICKET! Hope c Billings b Ball 72 (95) - West Indies 221-5
Here’s Jakey Ball, and Hope gets a “Wow” from Mikey Holding as he absolutely pulverises a six high over straight mid-wicket. That was the sort of shot that you can imagine the leather coming off the ball as it flies through the air, like something breaking up as it re-enters the earth’s atmosphere. Ah, but hubris: Hope goes the other way but skews this one, going high to the cover fence where Billings waits, waits, waits and takes a solid catch.
43rd over: West Indies 212-4 (Hope 65, Ambris 12) Decent hook from Ambris, sending a Curran bumper between fine leg and deep backward square for a boundary. Then Hope tries something vaguely similar, but can only cuff the thing straight over the bowler’s head, plugging in the turf for a couple of runs.
42nd over: West Indies 203-4 (Hope 62, Ambris 6) Rashid goes down leg for a wide, then only marginally corrects himself and Ambris gets off the mark with a swipe out to square leg. Then Hope tries to go big, doesn’t get all of it and Root dashes around from long-off, just getting there but grasses a difficult diving catch. He is, nonetheless, very cross with himself. Don’t be unhappy, Joe. You might get two days of time off soon.
41st over: West Indies 195-4 (Hope 61, Ambris 0) Buttler dives to his right and parries what initially looked like a catch, but on closer inspection it was actually a toe-end that jabbed into the ground: so a great stop, then. A good yorker from Curran, a slower ball, and that’s a maiden after getting a relative tanning last up. Lovely stuff.
“Inspired by the new Bladerunner film review in the Guardian,” writes Brian Withington, “would this Ashes be too soon to go the whole hog and develop a Stokes “replicant”? The AI needed should surely not be too challenging given the original. And it can’t possibly be as far-fetched as Cameron McFarlane’s endearing Ravi Bopara suggestion.”
40th over: West Indies 195-4 (Hope 61, Ambris 0) “Just the mention of Ravi brought about a wicket,” writes a triumphant Cameron McFarlane. “Get him on the plane!”
WICKET! Mohammed c Root b Rashid 25 (30) - West Indies 195-4
Hope is waking up. Rashid returns for his last two overs, he drags an iffy ball short and Hope spins on it, whacking to the square leg boundary. But then, after a single, Mohammed has a go, tries to go for a six over extra-cover, but gets it wrong and Root runs around from long-off to take a decent catch.
39th over: West Indies 189-3 (S.Hope 56, Mohammed 24) After everyone has a drink, Curran’s back for Plunkett. After a couple of slower balls he slides down leg, and Hope gets down on one knee and sweeps it fine for a boundary - his first, as it happens. Then he gets his second, on his toes and flicked off his hip the other side of short fine leg. And then another! Similar place, this time a more full-blooded pull shot. Better hitting, but those last three balls were all a bit shoddy.
38th over: West Indies 174-3 (S.Hope 43, Mohammed 21) Here’s Mo for his last over, and what’s this! Mohammed skips down the pitch and smacks one over long-off, for six! Six! Six runs! The first one of those since the third ball of the sixth over, and the first by someone other than Gayle. Still, Mo finishes with very smart figures of 10-1-35-1.
37th over: West Indies 166-3 (S.Hope 42, Mohammed 15) Batsmen looking frustrated now. They’re sort of trying to hit out, but the bowlers are in a rhythm and they can’t get the big shots away. Another four from the over.
36th over: West Indies 162-3 (S.Hope 41, Mohammed 12) Mohammed looks in trouble after coming back for a second run, and Billings fires in a bullet of a throw coming in from the point boundary and the skipper makes it back to his ground with millimetres to spare. Only four from the over.
35th over: West Indies 158-3 (S.Hope 40, Mohammed 9) Some rare shoddy fielding from England: Bairstow dashes in from the boundary after Mohammed drives, but misses the one-handed pick-up and, despite his best efforts to recover the situation, it goes for four. A few balls later he gets a similar chance, this time going for the safer two-handed option and gives the ironic cheers from the crowd a quick nod.
34th over: West Indies 150-3 (S.Hope 37, Mohammed 4) Mo looks like he might bowl through here. Four singles from his eighth over.
Are you a county cricket fan? Do you like hearing from other county cricket fans? Well you’re in luck, as county cricket fans give their say on what the summer has been like for them.
33rd over: West Indies 146-3 (S.Hope 35, Mohammed 2) Plunkett sends down a thronking lifter that Mohammed almost gets into an awful tizzy over, getting caught between playing and moving out the way, in the end just sticking the bat in front of his face. He was lucky it didn’t take a top edge and balloon to a grateful fielder. Mohammed slashes at a wide one and misses...although Morgan thought there was a little nick, which snicko seems to confirm. Possibly.
“Re John Starbucks idea of a cardboard cut-out of Ben Stokes,” honks Matthew Doherty, “I thought that from the fuss about the squad that they were taking eight already?”
32nd over: West Indies 144-3 (S.Hope 34, Mohammed 1) That’s the real drawback of the slow pace: when you get out, a new man has to get himself in. And that new man is the skipper, Jason Mohammed. He gets off the mark with a sharp - possibly even ill-advised - single.
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WICKET! Samuels st Buttler b Ali 32 (60) - West Indies 143-3
I supposed, among all the stuff about the boundary drought, you could say it’s been a while since England took a wicket too. But there’s one, as Samuels tries to up the pace a little by coming down the track, but he runs past one and Buttler efficiently takes off the bails. A one day innings with a strike rate of only just over 50. Retro.
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31st over: West Indies 142-2 (S.Hope 33, Samuels 32) Samuels swipes at a pull shot, and for a moment it looks like there might be a boundary, but fine leg stops it. Then a...drop? Actually that’s a bit harsh: Hope absolutely batters a drive above Morgan’s head at cover, the skipper jumps about three feet in the air and grabs it, but just can’t hold on. Would have been an incredible catch. And then...a boundary! The first in 131 balls! Samuels pulls behind square, and finally one reaches the fence.
Cameron McFarlane isn’t quite so much thinking out of the box, but out of the box factory and all cardboard products: “I know it’s a bit out there, bit if we need another all rounder, how about bringing back Ravi Bopara? He’s not going to set the world alight, but is solid with bat, ball and in the field and as a County Champ he’ll be confident, and the international game isn’t new to him.”
Our pal and OBOer Vithushan Ehantharajah will be delighted to hear that, Cameron. He might be the only one, mind.
30th over: West Indies 135-2 (S.Hope 31, Samuels 27) Still no boundaries. A couple of harder hit shots though: one of them even got as far as the fielder on the boundary. There’s one wide from a slower ball bouncer that looked a bit harsh. Seven runs from the over: even if they’re planning a 20:20 blitz from this point, they’ll have to go some in order to post a proper score of any description.
29th over: West Indies 128-2 (S.Hope 27, Samuels 25) Mo remains, and some smart fielding by Morgan saves a couple of runs from a Samuels whip. Otherwise, a tidy over. And a whopping 120 balls since the last boundary.
28th over: West Indies 126-2 (S.Hope 26, Samuels 24) With extremely ‘parents are coming to visit so sort the house out’ tidy figures of 8-1-28-0, Rashid gets a rest and Ball is back. Samuels swipes at a short ball, but misses and Ball’s returning over is rather tidier than some of his previous efforts. Not bowling at Chris Gayle helps, mind.
27th over: West Indies 124-2 (S.Hope 25, Samuels 23) A hint of aggression from Samuels, but he only gets a single to long-off after coming down the pitch. Samuels gets a thin snick on one down leg and Ball has to dash around to stop a boundary, but some slack running means they miss out on another run. Still: seven runs from that over, so at least that’s something.
“If Stokes is that good,” muses John Starbuck, “how about a cardboard cut-out of him placed at short cover? Just enough to confuse the opposition.”
26th over: West Indies 117-2 (S.Hope 24, Samuels 17) A touch more intent, but only a touch. Samuels takes two from a very fine glance that gets past short fine leg but doesn’t reach the boundary.
25th over: West Indies 113-2 (S.Hope 23, Samuels 14) Rattlin’ through them now. Mo sends down another tidy one, they try to take a couple of singles but they can barely get the ball off the square, and what’s more they don’t look like they’re trying especially hard to. That’s now a honking 16 overs without a boundary.
24th over: West Indies 111-2 (S.Hope 22, Samuels 13) Big LB shout as Samuels sticks his foot down the wrong line and Rashid thunks into his pads, but that was missing. Five from the over, but more solid work from Rashid, mixing up the leggies, googles and toppers.
23rd over: West Indies 106-2 (S.Hope 21, Samuels 9) After that relative glut of runs from the last over, a slightly more modest two from this one.
“I like Andrew Benton’s thinking regarding (not) replacing Stokes,” writes Brian Withington. “I think the Moneyball solution was to replace one star player with a composite of two or three, and converting a catcher (keeper) to first base. Still trying to figure how that translates from baseball to cricket though - might involve Jonny Bairstow batting out of his skin, catching everything at short extra cover and discovering he can bowl a mean in-ducking skidder at third change.”
22nd over: West Indies 104-2 (S.Hope 20, Samuels 8) No tap just yet, although they do positively rattle to five runs from the over: three singles and a two from Samuels, saved from a boundary by the diving Roy on the cover ropes.
21st over: West Indies 99-2 (S.Hope 18, Samuels 5) After 11 successive dot balls, West Indies finally get a run. Just one, a drive to the cover sweeper. Getting bogged down a little, but don’t be surprised if they start giving it some tap soon.
20th over: West Indies 98-2 (S.Hope 17, Samuels 5) A maiden from Rashid, and this is good stuff from England/sluggish batting from West Indies, depending on your point of view. No boundaries since the end of the 9th over, now.
19th over: West Indies 98-2 (S.Hope 17, Samuels 5) And now we have double spin, as Mo is into the attack. Four singles from the over, and we’re very much in the ‘ticking over’ section of the innings now.
18th over: West Indies 94-2 (S.Hope 15, Samuels 3) More good work from Rashid, giving up two singles, one of which was an under edge, then beats Samuels with a leg break. And now, drinks.
17th over: West Indies 92-2 (S.Hope 14, Samuels 2) Almost a shambles of a run out as Samuels gets a few steps down the pitch looking for a single which was not even remotely on. Plunkett sends down a wide, but otherwise a good over.
Andrew Benton has been thinking outside the box, re: Stokes: “I’d leave a gap - play with ten men, in the warm up matches, see what difference it makes. And to rub in how unacceptable Stokes’ behaviour was to him.”
16th over: West Indies 89-2 (S.Hope 13, Samuels 1) Decent stuff from Rashid, keeping his men relatively quiet. A slip comes in as England become a little more confident, and there’s only three runs from the over.
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15th over: West Indies 86-2 (S.Hope 11, Samuels 0) Plunkett says hello to Samuels with a decent bumper, that Samuels nonetheless sways away from with relative ease.
WICKET! Kyle Hope c & b Plunkett 33 (37) - West Indies 86-2
Oh well that is just first class stuff from Plunkett. Kyle sort of jabs at a ball just outside off stump, it goes back to the bowler but reaches him around shin-height, at best, but Plunkett reaches down and plucks a wonderful return catch.
14th over: West Indies 85-1 (K.Hope 33, S.Hope 10) Oooh, lovely little delicate back-cut by Kyle off Rashid: on a dry ground that probably would’ve been four, but the damp turf denies him a run. Back on strike after a single, he then just reacts in time to a googly and somehow manages to get two runs out to deep point.
13th over: West Indies 79-1 (K.Hope 28, S.Hope 9) Both Hopes use the angle of Plunkett’s delivery, going in from wide on the crease, to collect a few runs down towards fine leg. Then Shai drives well out to the cover fence, where Bairstow runs around to save a few runs.
12th over: West Indies 73-1 (K.Hope 26, S.Hope 5) Spin! Here’s Dilly Rashid, and he starts well, mixing things up with some top-spinners and whatnot. Three from the over, as Kyle opens himself up and drives a couple through the covers from the last ball.
11th over: West Indies 70-1 (K.Hope 24, S.Hope 4) Bowling change, and here’s Muscles Plunkett to have a go. More pleasant driving down the ground, more singles but Shai only looks troubled when Plunkett drops one just back of a length.
10th over: West Indies 65-1 (K.Hope 22, S.Hope 2) A few nice strokes from both Hopes, but they only get three singles and a two for their troubles.
Alex Book isn’t keen on the old guard: “If I hear Michael Holding, Ian Botham or any of the other old-timers on commentary use the phrase ‘proper cricket shot’ once more, I might need to put a premature end to the cricket season and switch off. Hope’s drive down the ground was a ‘proper cricket shot’ apparently, which makes Gayle’s five sixes....what??? Everything that’s wrong with prevailing attitudes of the cricket classes, captured in a single phrase. Tut tut tut.”
9th over: West Indies 61-1 (K.Hope 19, S.Hope 1) Ball, with the relieved look of a pensioner who has just found out the teenagers that hang around his house drinking Hooch and throwing bangers have been moved on to the next estate, continues. Hush hush, eye to eye, too shy Shai Hope gets off the mark with a single, then off the last ball of the over Kyle takes advantage of a long hop and whips a pull past fine leg for four.
8th over: West Indies 56-1 (K.Hope 15, S.Hope 0) Forgot to mention that wicket was one of Curran’s back-of-the-hand slowies, too. Good stuff from the man with the 90s haircut. K.Hope plays a nice shot down the ground which skips off to the long-on boundary, but beyond that Curran keeps things quiet.
WICKET! Gayle c Plunkett b Curran 40 (29) - West Indies 52-1
Well, as magnificent as his previous hitting was, that was a bit of a shambles from Gayle. He stepped away to leg, realised the ball was straighter than anticipated so tried to shuffle back and launch it, off balance and leaning back. The ball goes high in the air, Plunkett gets under it, misjudges the flight but then produces a brilliant diving catch to seal Curran’s first ODI wicket.
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7th over: West Indies 52-0 (Gayle 40, K.Hope 11) Here’s Gayle, and there goes the ball: a decent enough delivery just back of a length disappears over extra cover, then a slashed effort goes over the slips and - get this - bounces before going over the boundary. What’s all this about, Chris? He rectifies things next ball, as Ball floats up an inviting effort that is murdered over long-off. And then - a single! Hope clips to fine leg for what should be a fairly long three, but Gayle ambles his way to two. Still, a handy 19 from the over, 43 from the last three.
6th over: West Indies 33-0 (Gayle 23, K.Hope 9) Slow coach Hope has his first boundary, not quite out of the meat, but he gets enough on a nice on drive that skips past the fielder. He then becomes rather cross with himself for missing out on a couple of presentable half-volleys. We all make mistakes, Kyle: don’t be so hard on yourself.
5th over: West Indies 29-0 (Gayle 23, K.Hope 5) Gayle has a shimmy around in his crease to try forcing something, but is tucked up again. Next ball he does get hold of one a little more, but a pull loops up over mid-wicket and plugs, bringing him two. And then: business. Gayle gets one in his arc, and casually puts it into the middle of the sightscreen; next ball is wider, he shifts his right foot out the way and spanks one high over the cover fence; next ball is down the ground again, slightly to the long on side, but with the same result. Six, six, six. Told you he looked scratchy...
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4th over: West Indies 9-0 (Gayle 3, K.Hope 5) A few singles, a couple coming from inside edges that could have gone anywhere. Curran has started very well, that first ball wide apart. These twins are going to be some players.
Meanwhile, an anonymous work skiver has more Stokes thoughts: “I’d honestly back Foakes to score more runs than any of the so-called batsmen in the squad. How about Bairstow as a specialist bat at six, then Foakes, Mo, Woakes to keep that depth? Last time the Aussies hammered us in stands after the fifth wicket. We need to take each game as long as we can. Having Bairstow in the cordon will help the fielding also, where Stokes is a big loss.”
3rd over: West Indies 6-0 (Gayle 1, K.Hope 4) Hope floats a couple off his pads, and a single brings Gayle back. This is of course tempting fate and you can screenshot it for when he’s completing his century in the 23rd over, but Gayle looks very scratchy so far: two go past the edge, and he only got a thick bottom edge on a very wide one that he might ordinarily have burst a hole in the advertising boards with. Still, he gets off the mark with a single.
2nd over: West Indies 2-0 (Gayle 0, K.Hope 1) And here’s Tom Curran with the ball from t’other end. He starts with a wide, then is more on line with one that Hope shovels towards mid-wicket for a single. Gayle shoulders arms to the last ball of the over but Curran gets it to duck back in, it hits the back leg above his pad, and the lbw claim is correctly turned down.
1st over: West Indies 0-0 (Gayle 0, K.Hope 0) Gayle begins in uncharacteristically circumspect fashion, nibbling at one down the leg side that clipped his thigh pad. Ball beats his outside edge/he pulls well inside a ball on off stump, depending on your point of view. But we begin with a maiden.
Jake Ball will open the bowling. Should also say that despite the delayed start, we won’t lose any overs, with the innings break shortened.
And here we, here we, here we go: the players are out on the field, with England to bowl first. Chris Gayle and Kyle Hope open the batting for West Indies.
Before we start, let’s have a look back on the season in County Cricket: it’s The Wills 2017!
James Blake has an update to Ian Copestake’s mantra:
With apologies to I. Welsh, Ian’s mantra reminded me of another monologue slightly tweaked.....
“Choose Cricket. Choose test matches. Choose ODI’s. Choose t20’s. Choose a f**king big television to watch them on. Choose nurdling, doosras, nightwatchmen and rampshots... Choose the Ashes and wondering why the f*ck you are up at 2am on Sunday morning listening to it. Choose sitting on that couch watching spirit crushing England collapses, sticking pork pies with piccalilli into your mouth. Choose getting it in the block hole and probing the corridor of uncertainty. Choose your nan’s batting with a stick of rhubarb and rotating the strike. Choose sticky wickets, bunnies and trundlers
Choose your future. Choose life... And why wouldn’t I want to do a thing like that?”
Team news
One change for England, as Chris Woakes has a niggle and is replaced by Tom Curran, making his debut. And West Indies are without Evin Lewis, obviously, as it would be pretty unreasonable to ask him to play with a broken ankle, while Jason Holder has returned home for his uncle’s funeral. Kyle Hope and Sunil Ambris come in.
England
Roy, Bairstow, Root, Morgan (capt), Buttler (wk), Sam Billings, Moeen Ali, Rashid, Curran, Plunkett, Ball
West Indies
Gayle, K.Hope, Ambris, S.Hope (wk), Samuels, Mohammed (capt), Powell, Nurse, Joseph, Taylor, Cummins
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England have won the toss...
...and will bowl first.
Before the toss, let’s have some of those thoughts on how to replace Ben Stokes. Featuring you, the public:
- Without Stokes, there is precedent (several of the tests last summer), where they pushed Bairstow and Ali to 6/7, had Woakes at 8 and then played 3 quicks. so i’d have some 5 batsmen and then Bairstow - Ali - Woakes - Overton - Broad - Anderson - Rob Little
- PAUL COLLINGWOOD. But seriously, we might have an issue, I can’t think of an all rounder in his mould at all, which is why he’s so special. The closest I can think of is Woakes, who will already be playing. Which begs the question... Is Chris Woakes now at his most valuable as a test player? - Matt Potter
- I think Woakes should play automatically now, then decide if that’s in a 3 man pace attack with an extra batsman, or as a 4 man attack with Overton/Crane playing and a longer tail, with Mo moving up. I’d like to see them call up Liam Livingstone. Bats well, and just taken his career best with the ball - Jonny Wilkins
- Replace Stokes? You can’t. I was thinking about what we’d miss most of his all round skills. Probably the batting. But do I have any confidence in the reserve batsmen? But then you have four bowlers, with Mo as one of them. So I’d move Mo to six, keep Bairstow at seven and play Woakes at eight. Probably means Coverton or more likely Ball will play. What it tells you though is how indispensable he is and how severely we’ll be weakened - Kevin Wilson
Revised start time: 1.15pm
1pm did seem a bit optimistic. Apparently the toss will now take place at 12.50pm, with a start 25 minutes later, assuming there’s no more rain. Which, for what it’s worth, is not forecast.
So as we wait, let’s have a piping hot debate! Assuming Ben Stokes doesn’t go to Australia, how would you replace him for the Ashes?
Start time: 1pm
Aha! Turns out I was being a big pessimistic ninny! The toss will take place in about ten minutes, and the game is now scheduled to start at 1pm BST. Huzzah!
More encouragement: players who were lolling around on the balcony have now emerged from the dressing room and warm-ups are starting.
Ian Copestake would like you all to gather around in a circle, join hands and repeat this mantra over and over:
“Cricket is life. Smiley face.”
There’s movement out on the field, and some of it even involves removing covers from. This can only be a positive sign. Would suggest it’s optimistic to expect cricket before 1.30, mind.
While we wait, let’s enjoy Mark Nicholas, whose birthday it is today.
We should be tossing coins about now, but the rain falls on Southampton. A delayed start, obviously, and thus no team news just yet.
Preamble
And so, here we are. The end of the England men’s team’s summer. It began on a brisk May day in Bristol and ends on a brisk September/nearly October afternoon in Southampton. They have played 24 games - seven tests, four T20s and 13 ODIs - winning 17, losing six with one no result and zero draws. They’ve scored 8,348 runs and taken 250 wickets against seven opponents using 30 players, only two of which put their international futures in jeopardy by getting involved in a sticky-floored Bristol nightclub stramash.
That record, apart from the fighty bit, looks pretty good on paper, but what have we learned? Well, at the start of the summer we knew that England limited overs team was pretty decent with the odd moment of inconsistency and mental fragility, while the Test side had a solid quick bowling unit but serious questions about batting positions two, three and five. And now...erm...well...yeah. Really the only thing that’s changed is now more people recognise Moeen Ali for the king he is. And those that needed persuading anyway were only worthy of our pity previously. Have I missed anything there?
It’s not that this summer has been pointless. England have played in 24 games of cricket, much of it entertaining, so that’s better than having to concentrate on life. It’s just that, at least if you’re the sort of person who concerns themselves with the Ashes, England might as well have spent the last five months finger painting for all the answers the cricket has provided.
Now, we round off with a dead rubber against a side who would probably rather be somewhere else, but who have actually shown a few signs of life in the shape of some encouraging batting performances. But, to repeat: some cricket is better than the alternative, so let’s enjoy it before we become consumed by the months of early-hours fretting that the winter will bring.
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Start: 12.30pm BST.
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