Close of play
90th over: England 348-3 (Cook 153, Malan 28) Roston Chase comes on for the final over. “So spin for both ends with this brand new pink ball,” exhales Mikey Holding. The over passes without incident to complete a great day for England, a desperate one for West Indies, and a decent one for the concept of day-night cricket. Alastair Cook batted all day and all of the night for 153 not out, and has a great chance of a huge score tomorrow. Thanks for your company; night!
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89th over: England 345-3 (Cook 152, Malan 26) The offspinner Brathwaite returns to the attack. These last 10 overs have surely been a devilishly subtle satire. Nothing happens, and we have one over remaining.
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88th over: England 344-3 (Cook 152, Malan 25) Cook flicks Joseph for the 52nd and 53rd boundaries of the day. There are truths, undeniable truths and statistics. The West Indies attack have been walking fourballs. The second of those boundaries takes Cook to a very good and very predictable 150.
Malan then does well to defend a sharp inswinger. There have been some good deliveries with this second new ball but they will be forgotten, like an insight during an orgasm, because of the accompanying rubbish.
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87th over: England 333-3 (Cook 143, Malan 24) Roach looks a bit tired - this is his 20th over - and drifts onto the pads of Cook, who flicks it for four with the aid of a misfield. “Not too sure what to say about that,” says Mikey Holding. The West Indies have had a monumental shocker today. It really does bring to mind those desperate first days of the Ashes series in 1994-95 and 2002-03. Except they were funny.
“Never mind Chivas Regal, anyone who cares should go for a single malt,” says John Starbuck. “I’m currently sipping a Glen Moray, which has the additional benefit of being one of the few drinks at which you can point and sing an appropriate Dean Martin number, That’s Amore. Incidentally, if anyone does care, try shopping at www.thewhiskyexchange.com which has many specialist drinks for the connoisseur.”
Does it have anything for the breakfast drinker?
86th over: England 326-3 (Cook 138, Malan 24) The main entertainment at the moment is Mikey Holding’s quiet, weary meltdown. Joseph swings an attempted yorker into Malan, who flicks breezily through midwicket for two and hooks the next ball emphatically for four. That was the best shot of his Test career so far.
“This sort of situation is now a bit counter-productive for England,” says Mark Hooper. “The old heads have shown how easy it is to amass runs which just sets the new batsmen up for a fall, doesn’t it?”
Yes, I take your point, though the new batsmen do have the option of amassing some runs themselves. At least one of Stoneman, Westley and Malan will score a ton in this series. You have my word.
85th over: England 319-3 (Cook 135, Malan 18) Malan reaches for a Roach outswinger and drives confidently for four. I think I now know what it was like to be an Australian fan during an Ashes series in the 1990s. It’s not easy to convey just how comprehensive a mess the West Indies have made of this last half hour. In the Sky commentary box, Mikey Holding is proving that it is possible to lose one’s rag mellifluously. The voice hasn’t changed but you don’t need to be a Countdown Octochamp to realise he is furious.
“I wonder if, in future, there is a case for the Twilight Watchman - like some sort of peripheral Marvel universe superhero?” says Brian Withington. “I think Jimmy could take it in his stride.”
Or you could rogue and promote a Twilight Hitter to mess shit up. What the hell, it’s after the watershed.
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84th over: England 314-3 (Cook 135, Malan 14) Cummins shares the new ball, and starts with a no-ball. Even with the extra half-hour, West Indies are struggling to get their overs in; it will be pretty shoddy if they waste some of their twilight overs. There’s a slightly strange atmosphere. Many of the crowd are clearly well pissed, as they are singing a never-ending version of Don’t Take Me Home. What was supposed to be the most exciting part of the day has so far been notable only for its weirdness. Malan moves into double figures with an excellent back cut for four.
83rd over: England 307-3 (Cook 134, Malan 9) After two of the most ridiculous overs in many a year, West Indies take the second new ball and give it to Kemar Roach, who shouldn’t have been taken out of the attack in the first place. He shapes one away from Cook, who opens the face to steer it for four. Nothing else to report.
“Chivas Regal,” says Daniel Harris, “is exactly the whisky that someone whose middle initial was part of their given name would think was good.”
Fun fact: my first ever published article had the absurd byline ‘Rob Alan Smyth’ because of a mix-up involving an automated email signature.
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82nd over: England 302-3 (Cook 129, Malan 9) Now Brathwaite is continuing! This is absurd. The new pink ball is available, under lights, and the West Indies are bowling two offspinners. It would be wrong to call this a shambles, because some shambles have redeeming features. Stuart Law is trying to get a message onto the field, and here comes the 12th man.
81st over: England 301-3 (Cook 128, Malan 9) Jason Holder replaces Kemar Roach, which is weird, and doesn’t take the second new ball, which is weirder. That decision is almost unfathomable, as everybody expects the new ball to do plenty under lights. A strange over continues when Holder limps off the field after three deliveries, and the offspinner Roston Chase is going to complete the over. This is bizarre. West Indies have waited all day for these 10 overs, and now they don’t seem interested in taking advantage of them. You don’t need a GCSE in body language to know that their coach Stuart Law is effin and jeffin internally.
80th over: England 298-3 (Cook 127, Malan 7) After another over of nothing from Brathwaite, the second new ball is available. England have scored 52 runs in the last 20 overs, a reflection of how tricky it can be to time the old pink ball.
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79th over: England 297-3 (Cook 126, Malan 7) Malan gets his first boundary, thick-edging Roach wide of the slips for four. He looks nervous, as you’d expect given his career situation. But as Nasser has just said on Sky, if he can return tomorrow afternoon on 20-odd not out, he will have a great opportunity to make his first significant Test score.
78th over: England 292-3 (Cook 125, Malan 3) Brathwaite continues with his filler before the second new ball is due. Malan plays a series of solid defensive shots, and there’s nothing else to say.
“As far as I can see from this,” says Matt Emerson, “the diligent journalist and all-round role model Hunter S Thompson started his day with Chivas Regal. His views on cricket went with him to the grave, I believe.”
77th over: England 291-3 (Cook 124, Malan 3) Roach sits Malan down with a terrific bouncer. This, all of a sudden, is a contest. Malan must be pretty hacked off to miss the run buffet earlier in the day.
“I thought the other issue with the white ball was that they cannot get one to last 50 overs never mind 80,” says Brian Withington. “Hence the use of two white balls in ODIs.”
Two white balls, 40 overs each? Oh I don’t know.
76th over: England 291-3 (Cook 124, Malan 3) Malan is dropped! He tried to cut a wide ball from the offspiner Kraigg Brathwaite that took the edge and went straight through the man at first slip. Correct, I don’t know who that man is. It was a very sharp chance and I don’t think he got hands on it; it hit his body and deflected away.
“I do like the idea of making Cook the captain,” says Pete Salmon. “Take some of the pressure off Joe Root.”
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75th over: England 290-3 (Cook 124, Malan 2) Dawid Malan, who has come to the crease at the worst possible time, gets off the mark. Roach has been good today, easily the pick of the West Indies bowlers, and he has figures of two for 52.
WICKET! England 288-3 (Root b Roach 136)
Kemar Roach strikes! Root drives all around a good delivery from wide on the crease that goes through the gate and rams into the stumps. It was a fine innings, but he will be irritated by what was a relatively needless dismissal. He’d been struggling to time the old pink ball for the last hour or so.
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74th over: England 286-2 (Cook 123, Root 135) “As an uninformed cricket enthusiast, what was the impetus for the new pink ball?” says Tom Elliott. “I suppose with all new change comes some uneasiness and uncertainty but is the change worth the apparent degradation in play?”
They have to try day-night cricket, in the hope it will save Tests, and they can’t use a white ball because of the white clothing. I agree with Mike Selvey that they use should a white ball and coloured clothing. The big break with tradition has already happened, so I don’t see why you have to stick with the whites.
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73rd over: England 286-2 (Cook 123, Root 135) Cook upbraids himself after fishing unnecessarily at Joseph. That’s the last ball before drinks.
“Mate, how about you comment on the emails rather than this joke of a Test,” sniffs Ian Copestake. “Sort it out.”
72nd over: England 285-2 (Cook 123, Root 134) Cook drives Cummins sweetly down the ground for three. This is a timely innings for him, his first hundred in nine Tests. He hasn’t been particularly out of nick in that time but nor has he been as productive as usual.
“I’ve been in a meeting so am not really following, but tequila for breakfast is not just fine but a good idea,” says Chris. “There’s a bar in Chicago’s O’Hare airport (terminal 1) that does an amazing bloody maria (a bloody mary with tequila not vodka) that is perfect at 8am. They won’t put the cricket on, though.”
71st over: England 279-2 (Cook 120, Root 131) Cook is beaten, fiddling absentmindedly outside off stump at Joseph. The sun is starting to go down, so the pink-ball fun might - might - be about to begin.
“If we’re finding this depressing,” like Felix Wood, “think how Stoneman and Westley must be feeling.”
70th over: England 276-2 (Cook 117, Root 131) I honestly don’t know what to type. England are stockpiling runs with minimal risk, if that, and West Indies look pretty forlorn.
“I was looking at the photo on top of the OBO and was thinking about how very young Alistair Cook still looks,” says Sam Goodliffe. “It occurred to me that this point in his career - settled, nothing to prove - would be a perfect time for him to take on the captaincy role. Why do England (&Wales) insist on having their captains so young?”
It’s not just England; everybody does it. It’s an interesting question., and some older captains like Mike Brearley have had great success. I suppose captaincy is so draining mentally that it is easier to do when you are younger and your levels of mental energy are higher, rather than towards the end of a career when it’s usually stressful enough trying to do your main job.
69th over: England 273-2 (Cook 115, Root 130) Root digs out a good yorker from Joseph. The ball is very old now: 69 pink-ball overs are worth about 120 with a red ball. That’s making it a lot harder to time, and at the moment the game is going nowhere.
“Maybe alongside the pink ball we could spice things up with a Hunger Games element,” says Mark Hooper. “At the start of certain overs, different weapons appear on the outfield for the fielding team to use.”
Yeah, if we’re going to save Test cricket we might as well go for it. You could have a phone vote and make one of the players do a Bushtucker Trial in the lunch break.
68th over: England 272-2 (Cook 114, Root 130) England have slowed down a little in the last half an hour. They now look merely immovable, rather than unstoppable. Root enlivens proceedings with an actual false stroke, a play-and-miss at Cummins.
“Maybe alongside the pink ball we could spice things up with a Hunger Games element,” says Mark Hooper. “At the start of certain overs, different weapons appear on the outfield for the fielding team to use.”
67th over: England 270-2 (Cook 113, Root 129) I can’t remember the last time England made runs with such ease and inevitability in a Test match. We might have to go back to the Bangladesh series in 2005. Still no sign of any mischief under the lights, though that may change when the natural light disappears.
“Tequila for breakfast,” says my colleague Daniel Harris. “Any stag, no?”
Prosecco and a cheeseboard for mine.
66th over: England 270-2 (Cook 113, Root 129) Except this is the third wicket, and I am an idiot. Anything to get Rob Key in the OBO.
“At what point,” says Gareth Fitzgerald, “do we call these average-bolstering innings ‘a Voges’?”
Ha, that should be added to the lexicon. ‘Yeah, it was a good double-hundred but, let’s be honest, it was a Voges.’ (For those who haven’t a clue what we are talking about, the Australian batsman Adam Voges had an average of 542 against West Indies.)
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65th over: England 266-2 (Cook 111, Root 127) The new bowler Alzarri Joseph is short and wide to Cook, who slaps a back cut for four. This partnership is now worth 227. The highest second-wicket partnership in this fixture is 291, between Andrew Strauss and - yep - RWT Key at Lord’s in 2004.
“Beer at breakfast is just not right,” says Damian Clarke. “It simply ruins the Coco Pops. No, tequila is for breakfast.”
Consider this: at some point in the history of humankind, somebody has actually had tequila for breakfast. And they won’t even have had Coco Pops to take the edge off.
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64th over: England 260-2 (Cook 105, Root 127) Chase is being milked with ease, to the tune of five singles in that over. There’s no joy in this, not if you love cricket.
63rd over: England 255-2 (Cook 102, Root 125) Root leans into a wide delivery from Holder and drives it classically through the covers for four. He has a greedy streak in him too, which is what all those sixties and seventies frustrate him so much, and he’ll want a double hundred here.
“What do I do when EastEnders is on the other channel?” says Jeremy Bunting. “I know that I can catch up on iPlayer but it’s messing with my routine.”
I’ve been dwelling on this conundrum and I think I have the answer: STOP WATCHING EASTENDERS, FOREVER.
62nd over: England 249-2 (Cook 101, Root 120) Cook is playing with such certainty that he could threaten his own record for the highest Test score on this ground, 294 against India in 2011. Anything feels possible at the moment, such is England’s total control.
Here’s David Hopkins. “Is there any decline in the fortunes of a major sports team sadder, and more deleterious to the sport itself, than that of the West Indies Test side?”
Hungarian football. Next. (Erm, no, and short of the All Blacks becoming so bad that they regularly lose to Brazil, I doubt there ever will be.)
61st over: England 246-2 (Cook 100, Root 118) “I think we’ve got this sorted now,” says John Starbuck. “The first break is for Tiffin, the second is for High Tea. It doesn’t matter what the accompanying liquid is, as some people have been known to drink beer at breakfast.”
Alastair Cook scores his 31st Test hundred!
60th over: England 246-2 (Cook 100, Root 118) Chase to Root, who scrunches a supreme extra-cover drive for four. That’s the 43rd boundary of the day, which is mildly staggering. What is not remotely staggering is that, with all the fourballs on offer, Alastair Cook has helped himself to a 31st Test century. He gets there with a single off Chase and celebrates with a modest smile. It’s the first hundred of his golden years back in the ranks. There should be plenty more.
“I guess West Indies are, alas, the perfect opponents for this trial of pink balls, floodlights and late eating,” says Ian Copestake. “The newness distracts from that feeling of wanting to intervene when you see someone being bullied but you can’t because you have a short attention span and have just seen a pink ball.”
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59th over: England 238-2 (Cook 98, Root 112) Holder goes back over the wicket to Cook, who cuts a single to move to 98. He’s in no hurry to reach his hundred.
“John Holder was on TMS recently and he said that in one-day games Chris Tavare hit the ball more fiercely than anyone else he had ever umpired,” says John Marshall. “I almost fell off my chair.”
He took Bruce Yardley apart in a Test match once as well. On that subject, this is essential reading.
58th over: England 234-2 (Cook 97, Root 110) Cook puts Chase away for four to move into the nerveless nineties (West Indies version), and helps himself to another boundary to end the over. This is men against bairns.
“Further to Dan Silk’s point, Ms Lee’s email also suggests she isn’t a regular OBO follower or she would be offering you the more traditional ‘almost clean grundies’ and ‘faded Red Dwarf t-shirt’, surely?” sniffs Robin Hazlehurst. “I could be mistaken, but ‘exquisitely tailored’ is not really a phrase I would have instantly associated with the late session on the OBO.”
57th over: England 224-2 (Cook 88, Root 109) Jason Holder starts at the other end. His right arm is heavily strapped, and he feels his bicep after the first delivery. Not in the narcissistic beefcake style, you understand; he was feeling it gently because it hurt. The four-balls hurt too - pick that segue out - and he gives another to Root with a leg-stump full toss that is clipped through square leg.
56th over: England 219-2 (Cook 87, Root 105) The floodlights are on, though the experts don’t expect the game to change much until the sun goes down around 8.30pm. The offspinner Roston Chase starts the final session, the money session, with a quiet over.
“Rob,” says Brian Withington. “If Root sets the tone as you suggest, and the ball provides the (somewhat garish) colour, I guess Cook should be offering contrast? Clearly the bowling is not yet doing much on the hold front. Bring on the twilight zone.”
“Hi Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Yeah, Root sets the tone like nobody since Chris Tavaré. A different tone, admittedly, but still.”
“Not to bring up a tedious debate or anything,” says Sachin Paul, “but doesn’t KP count as a tone-setting batsmen? Think Root has a Mumbai and Adelaide kind of domination to come before he can claim that.”
I meant specifically setting the tone for the series in the first Test; should have specified that. Nasser Hussain was extremely good too but Root is exceptional.
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Teatime reading (optional)
Tea
55th over: England 215-2 (Cook 85, Root 103) The crowd are in impressive, presumably drunken voice, which suggests there will be plenty of self-loathing in the workplace tomorrow. They have more to cheer when Cook pings the last ball before tea through midwicket for four. England are in total control and have given themselves all kinds of insurance against all potential twilight nastiness in the final session. This, sad to say, is a complete mismatch. See you in a bit.
Joe Root scores his 13th Test century!
54th over: England 211-2 (Cook 81, Root 103) Root slashes Chase to third man for four to move to 98, and then pulls a long hop round the corner to reach an effortless century. He might not make an easier one in his Test career. It came from 139 balls, with 19 fours. It’s Root 13th in Tests, and six of those have come in the first innings of a new series. He is England’s best tone-setting batsman for decades.
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53rd over: England 201-2 (Cook 80, Root 94) England are proceeding with caution against Roach; partly because of the quality of his bowling, partly because tea is imminent. A maiden to Cook.
“Longtime OBO lurker with an important question,” writes Sam. “Will there be tea consumed during the tea break? Or has it now shifted to tea consumed with fork and knife? I’m not sure I’d be comfortable calling it dinner.”
This is why you need an all-purpose word like scran, nosh or - if you need more syllables in your life - sustenance.
52nd over: England 201-2 (Cook 80, Root 94) The offspinner Chase returns to the attack. He’s a good holding bowler but not much more than that, so England will be happy to be facing him in the second session on day one. Two from the over.
“Rob,” says Dan Silk. “The letter from Ms Lee (over 48) leads to two important deductions. 1) she’s not a cricket fan, or she’d never invite you to be in Ontario during the first 3 days of the second Windies Test. 2) You’re running low on emails, so I’m in with a chance here.”
And it’s there!
51st over: England 199-2 (Cook 79, Root 93) Root survives a huge shout for caught behind when he is beaten on the inside by a fine delivery from Roach. There was a noise, but it was ball on trouser pocket and West Indies wisely decided not to review. Later in the over Cook, pushing with hard hands, edges over gully for four. Roach has been the West Indies’ most threatening bowler by a distance.
50th over: England 194-2 (Cook 75, Root 92) The wicket window seems rather small in these day/night affairs,” says Ian Copestake. “When is the next one scheduled for?”
It’s from 8.12 to 8.29pm. They’ve scheduled it deliberately to clash with Child Genius on Channel 4.
49th over: England 192-2 (Cook 74, Root 91) Root edges a fine delivery from Roach wide of gully for four, and moves into the nineties by stealing a second to the cover sweeper. There are about 25 minutes to tea, and I’m sure these two will want to be at the crease when the match enters the twilight zone.
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48th over: England 186-2 (Cook 74, Root 85) Cummins is a touch wide to Root, who steers the ball easily to the third-man boundary. The pink ball was supposed to be a leveller, but so far this has been a mismatch.
“Hi Mr. Smyth,” writes Jessica Lee. “Hiras Fashion, bespoke tailors from Hong Kong, is all about making an exquisite tailored suit. Most importantly, that privilege is inspired by the gentleman/woman who wears it. Book an appointment throughout Ontario from August 22nd to 27th for your perfect fitting suits, shirts, jackets, trousers, tuxedos and more. Our master fitter, Mr. Andy Hira, would be glad to discuss your style and take note of your preferred details to establish the final cut of your garment.”
47th over: England 181-2 (Cook 74, Root 80) Many people expected the scoring rate to slow down as the pink ball got older, but that didn’t take into the account the quality of the West Indian bowling. Their pitchmap has been more Jackson Pollock than Shaun Pollock, though the current pair of Roach and Cummins have bowled okay.
“In response to Brian Withington 17.32, I think I can help,” says George Davidson. “Homer Simpson invented “Linner” - a meal between Lunch and Dinner. That might actually be perfect for a day/night break. As someone who tries to get a couple of days in at a Test each summer, I am fed up with seeing 70 of 90 overs bowled by 6pm and then an evening session lasting until 7pm. Hopefully the D/N format will address this especially with the threat of the earlier start next morning if they need to catch up.”
I don’t think it will. With the over-rate so far I think we are scheduled to finish just in time for BBC Breakfast.
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46th over: England 179-2 (Cook 73, Root 79) “It’s not been a good week for Flamin’ Hot Monster Munch: not only did it fail to make this student’s top tier of crisps and the Daily Mash gave it a rinsing for not being a genuine flavour!” says Tom Van der Gucht. “Dark times indeed...”
I don’t understand why so many people are interested in a student ranking crisp flavours from best to worst. If it was Gary Lineker I’d have been all ears, but not this character.
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45th over: England 173-2 (Cook 72, Root 74) Kemar Roach replaces Holder, and continues the illogical around-the-wicket angle to Cook. He shrieks an appeal for LBW when Cook plays outside the line of an inducker. Trouble is, he was also outside the line of off stump. That was a weirdly over-the-top appeal from Roach. He sounded like he’s just dropped a hot iron on his unmentionables.
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44th over: England 173-2 (Cook 72, Root 74) Joseph tries to york Cook, who digs it out. He’s had to scrap for every run in the last 10 months, so you’d expect him to score at least one daddy hundred in this series. When the going gets good, the tough still get going.
“Good evening,” says John Starbuck. “I suppose one of the OBO writer’s duties now is to tell us when the dew is taking effect. Any special towels on the field to dry off the ball?”
No, but I think one might be thrown in soon. Honk.
43rd over: England 171-2 (Cook 71, Root 73) Root laces Holder down the ground for four to move into the 70s. Shot! He loves setting the tone for a series – he averages 95 in the first innings of a first Test – and he seems to be breezing towards another hundred. He’ll be monstrously irritated if he fails to convert here.
“I like the funky idea of Jimmy opening,” says Robin Hazlehurst. “ particularly like the idea of his funky reaction on being told the news. I suppose you could say he was going in as a lunchwatchman... on the first day. Or highteawatchman or lateafternoonsnackwatchman or whatever we’d be calling it now.”
I’m all for funky batting orders. This is the closest our generation will get to uncovered pitches, and someone like Bill O’Reilly opening the batting.
Cheers Vish, hello my lovelies. So far, day-night cricket has been a step into the known for England, with Cook and Root rescuing them after the usual false start. They have batted excellently, with the aid of some sadly abysmal bowling. Things might get a bit more unusual after tea, when the lights go on, but until then it’s an all-you-can-score buffet.
42nd over: England 166-2 (Cook 71, Root 68) A bit bad old West Indies now. Fields set for bad bowling and still runs being scored. Root throws his hands through a short, wide ball that races through point. With that, I’m off. Thanks for your company. Rob Smyth will take you into the night.
41st over: England 161-2 (Cook 71, Root 63) Another four down the leg side, albeit leg byes, reflects more indiscipline from West Indies’ bowlers. Atherton makes a great point, as ever: Holder doesn’t take the ball away from left-handers with this angle – like Flintoff used to, especially when it was reversing – so there’s no real threat to Alastair Cook’s outside edge. And therefore, nothing to niggle away at the back of Cook’s mind. Dawid Malan looks on, pad rash slowly reaching his bones...
40th over: England 153-2 (Cook 67, Root 63) And there it is – Root gets his first runs through the V of the summer. It’s a glorious drive off an early eighties delivery from Joseph. Just on the mid on side of the stumps. So clean you could eat off it.
39th over: England 149-2 (Root 59, Cook 67) Holder is around the wicket to Cook. It’s a fine over up until the very last delivery when the right-armer looses his line and the leftie just lays a smidge of bat on ball to work it around the corner, inside fine leg for four.
ICYMI Here’s the unplayable seed that saw off Opener No.12
WICKET Stoneman bowled by a beauty from Roach for 8
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) August 17, 2017
14/1 #ENGvWIhttps://t.co/rxDAQ4457N pic.twitter.com/vjpZGFjHSt
38th over: England 145-2 (Cook 63, Root 59) Century partnership up between Cook and Root as the latter pulls Alzarri Joseph powerfully through square leg for four. Another follows next delivery, this one steered expertly through vacant gully. Worth chucking in a third man now that Root has his eye in?
37th over: England 137-2 (Cook 63, Root 51) Now it’s Jason Holder’s turn to be swiped away to midwicket by Cook. Easy as you like. Brian Whithington emails in:
“The great Day/Night Catering Debate puts me in mind of Homer Simpson proudly proclaiming that he had invented a meal between breakfast and brunch. Sadly I cannot for the life of me remember what he called it.” I don’t think Homer ever divulged that.
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36th over: England 131-2 (Cook 57, Root 51) A single to Cook. Little else. Here’s Keiran Betteley:
“Regarding Alex H’s tactical suggestion. Can only say that I remember it working a treat when I sent out a different Jimmy A ( a gent, but rather more of a specialist fine leg and mascot than a doughty opener) out to face the shiny ball for the Unavoidables CC. Jim, fired up by the trust and responsibility place in him by his captain, racked up his biggest ever total (admittedly it was 12 with the majority coming not quite from the middle), and wore off the shine whilst cunningly using up the overs of the oppo’s decent bowlers. It’s so crazy it just might work with a different Jimmy A.”
I like that. A pinch-hitter – hold the hitter.
That list in full:
Fifties in most consecutive Tests:
— ESPNcricinfo (@ESPNcricinfo) August 17, 2017
AB de Villiers 12
Viv Richards 11
Gautam Gambhir 11
Virender Sehwag 11
Mominul Haque 11
Joe Root 11
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
35th over: England 130-2 (Cook 56, Root 51) That’s Joe Root’s 31st Test fifty, brought up with an uppish cut of Jason Holder, which goes finer that he’d have liked. It’s come off 83 balls. It is also the 11th Test in a row that he’s scored a half-century, drawing him level with the likes of IVA Richards and Virender Sehwag. AB de Villiers leads the way with 12. “When you say ‘Cook bunts a full toss from Royston Chase to cover’(29th over) , did he grab the bottom of his bat or are we talking non-baseball terminology?” Oh, if only he did that. Seeing the pinkie well enough to get funky. He merely checked the drive on impact. Nowhere near as fun.
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34th over: England 126-2 (Cook 56, Root 47) Miguel Cummins is still not sure if Alastair Cook is really REALLY good on his pads, so serves him another on his hip. The fielder at midwicket goes for a jog.
33rd over: England 122-2 (Cook 52, Root 47) Class from Rooteh. Stays out of the V as Royston puts one up and outside off stump. Root plants his front foot forward and slaps that through cover for four to finish the over.
32nd over: England 116-2 (Cook 51, Root 42) Fascinating graphic just put up onscreen: Joe Root hasn’t score a single Test run in the V this summer. The region they tell you to exploit when you’re new to the crease. Down the ground, mid on, mid off, jumpers for stumps. He nearly gets his first moments later, but the size 12s of Miguel Cummins gets in the way.
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31st over: England 115-2 (Cook 51, Root 41) Bounce and a bit of turn from Chase brings four down the leg side. Off Root’s thigh pad, though. Takes one off his pads to move off 40.
Meanwhile, an alert from county cricket – if you don’t follow Essex’s head groundsman, rectify that now...
A big battle @EssexCricket tonight for a 1/4 final spot in the @NatWestT20Blast against the old rivals @kentcricket pic.twitter.com/6BJi3Dv3X4
— Stuart Kerrison (@Stueyk67) August 17, 2017
30th over: England 110-2 (Cook 51, Root 40) Maiden to Cummins. An incredible statistic has been brought to my attention by Robin Hobbs:
“Just realised England’s captain and vice captain are the youngest members of the XI. Is this a first?”
Test Match Special scorer Andrew Sansom has been alerted and I believe he is on the case. More when I get it but if anyone in OBOdom has an idea, please email in.
29th over: England 110-2 (Cook 51, Root 40) Cook bunts a full toss from Royston Chase to cover, as the other end is opened this innings with some off-spin. Just a single from it.
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28th over: England 109-2 (Cook 50, Root 40) Very much an after-interval over, delivered by Miguel Cummins. Most are outside off stump. Root leaves most alone. Cummins over steps for the first no ball of the innings. Root then wafts needlessly at one. Second slip burps, Holder wonders if he had a bit too much quiche.
Just before we get back to the action, here’s an email from Alex Henderson:
“With England having no one emerging to take on the number 2 and 3 slots, plus the abundance of all-rounders they have at the moment, when England bat first, why not send Anderson out to open with Cook, with Broad in at 3?” **Sits up in chair** Go on...
“Even if they were both to be out first ball, they’d barely be doing any worse than the likes of Jennings or Westley. And if they stuck around for a few overs, wearing the ball down, it would demoralise the opposition with every delivery. If Anderson and/or Broad had just finished a lengthy spell of bowling getting the opposition out, they’d have the option to send Woakes out to open with Cook, and Rashid in at number 3. That way they’d have seven genuine bowling options (Anderson, Broad, Woakes, TRJ, Stokes, Moeen and Rashid), their number 10 and 11 batsman would sometimes be Woakes and Rashid, and there would be very little if any drop off in runs scored from the 2 and 3 slots.”
Crazy, but it just might... no, actually that’s straight crazy. Started early with the 2pm tee-off, have we Alex?
As ever, Lord Selvey cuts to the core of the Great Meal Break Debate
Catering is all to cock with these playing hours. So 40 mins for sandwiches now and 20 for a carvery later.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) August 17, 2017
Good to hear many of you are coping well with the time shift. Some, like William D, are struggling:
“I agree with [REDACTED] at Over 16. I was irritated in the delay to my procrastination from 11 until 2 today. Now I’ll have to follow the last few hours of play on my phone whilst trying to simultaneously watch an actual live match at the Oval tonight...”
ALASTAIR COOK GETS TO FIFTY
27th over: England 108-2 (Cook 50, Root 40) Another misfield in the covers allows Cook to take a single for his 56th Test half-century.
And that, ladies and gents, is lunch tea! I’m off to grab something to eat that won’t ruin my appetite for dinner. Gah, this is confusing. Back in a tic.
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26th over: England 106-2 (Cook 49, Root 39) Starting to get a bit ragged in the field as the interval approaches. Alastair Cook gets four through the covers thanks to a slack bit of fielding that sees the man stationed to cut that shot off dive over the ball! Root ends the over with another flick off middle stump.
25th over: England 97-2 (Cook 44, Root 35) Frustration for Joseph. A straight ball is flicked through midwicket for four by Root. Fine, Joseph thinks. The next is an outswinger enticing a similar/straighter shot, hoping for the edge. Instead, Root beats third man to the rope with a well executed late drive.
@Vitu_E What's happened to the ball? It's almost invisible at real time and looks very pink in slow motion. Have I missed something?
— ian consterdine (@newolder) August 17, 2017
You’re going to have a fright when you come back to the Guardian sports page at 8pm looking for Vic’s report...
24th over: England 89-2 (Cook 44, Root 27) Two off the over, with the single taken off the final ball bringing up the fifty partnership between Cook and Root. Some interesting information here from Luke Harris on colour-blindness:
“Huw Swanborough’s inability to see the pink ball interested me, as a fellow Deutan (red-green colour blind.) I put the match on to confirm. Any excuse eh?
“It is true, the pink ball is harder to see, at least on a screen. Considering 1 in 12 men are colour blind, that’s a problem. I hope Yorkshire’s club optician has discovered the company in the US that makes colour-blindness correcting sunglasses. That may do the trick for players like Balance.” I believe he had some glasses made for him so that he could play in the Day-Night round at Headingley against Surrey. He fielded but didn’t get to bat because of the weather!
23rd over: England 87-2 (Cook 43, Root 26) Maiden from Alzarri Joseph. A double change sees the opener quicks return.
22nd over: England 87-2 (Cook 43, Root 26) Roach returns and his extra nip allows Cook to hop on one leg as he whips through square leg for four.
21st over: England 83-2 (Cook 39, Root 26) Any of you following this game on Sky Sports? If not, you’ve missed a great exchange between Michaels Holding and Atherton – two of the very best – on why Jason Holder doesn’t bowl quicker despite being “six-foot-plenty”. Holding reckons part of the reason is that Holder doesn’t have a braced front knee. Therefore, he doesn’t come over it as quickly when delivering the ball – think of it like a javelin thrower’s front leg, bringing the rest of their body right through, over the top of that straight leg. I’ve probably butchered the great man, there. Anyway, Not As Quick As He Should Be Holder is skimmed across the turf through cover and bashed through midwicket by Root.
20th over: England 75-2 (Cook 39, Root 18) Cummins offering enough boundary balls to negate the control he’s enjoying in this spell (seven overs, one for 21 so far). Wide outside off stump to Cook. Bloodbath!
1/2 @Vitu_E Pink ball Tests. I feel like I'm part of history. Arguably, for the first time this week, the good kind.
— Robert Wolf Petersen (@robwolfpetersen) August 17, 2017
Leaving that outside off stump, RWP...
2/2 @Vitu_E On another note, Mark Butcher's got a touch of the Alexei Sayles about him these days, hasn't he?
— Robert Wolf Petersen (@robwolfpetersen) August 17, 2017
Leaning into this one, though. What a shout! Butch the coolest ex-England cricket going? Seen him flay the Aussies AND churn out some quality Otis Redding covers.
19th over: England 71-2 (Cook 35, Root 18) That’s more like it! Root crunches a wide delivery through cover point and away to the fence.
18th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Cummins with a maiden. The ball is starting to go a bit, well, “meh”. It’s not coming off the pitch or off the bat with any great excitement. Which isn’t ideal given we’re only 18 overs in... Ant Pease is back with his two pennies on the great meal break debate: “The game is in Edgbaston. If the organisers had any heart, dinner would be taken with a few lagers at a curryhouse in Selly Oak.”
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17th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Another one of *those* maidens from Jason Holder. Root happy to leave most alone as the seamer varies his position on the crease to little change in the batsmen’s approach. John Gresty on email writes: “Call me old-fashioned but I think ‘tiffin’ and ‘nosebag’ have both got a ring to them.”
16th over: England 67-2 (Cook 35, Root 14) Cummins strays onto the hip of Cook. You know the rest. Here’s an email from someone who has asked to remain nameless: “Lee Smith makes a good point about the county championship round. By the third consecutive evening of nocturnal pink ball activity I discovered a genuinely new concept, namely that you can actually have too much cricket. Also, don’t the authorities know that the main reason for having cricket on during the day is to give the cricket following great unwashed something to distract us from actually doing some work?” Good point, [REDACTED].
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15th over: England 59-2 (Cook 28, Root 13) I like this from Jason Holder, even if Root is able to hit through cover without needing to adjust the face of his bat to beat a fielder. The region is bare as Holder looks to coerce Root into having a go at one that isn’t quite there. Root keeps his cool.
14th over: England 55-2 (Cook 28, Root 9) Another run in the covers, as Root nicks low and innocuously to third slip off Cummins. Saves three.
Huw Swanborough writes in: “I can’t see the pink ball at all in real time footage. But then I am colour blind and don’t expect to be able to. Neither could Chris Rogers during trialling the pink ball and he too is colour blind.” So too, is Gary Ballance. I’ll let Vic take it away (from his piece in June):
One of the potential boons for spectators is that so many England players will be playing this week. It is an interesting undertaking for Yorkshire’s Gary Ballance in particular. He has been the domestic batsman of the season and must be in line for a recall to the Test team. But he is colour blind and there is the suggestion that he will therefore find the pink ball harder to pick up. Chris Rogers of Australia, who is also colour blind, found this a problem.
Fortunately Yorkshire have a club optician, who is sorting out the best options for their leading batsman. Another century for Ballance against Surrey – and a pink ball – at Headingley and he surely has to be selected for the first Test.
13th over: England 54-2 (Cook 28, Root 8) A maiden from Jason Holder but one of those which doesn’t threaten Cook much. As a bowler, Holder is a basking shark: looks quite scary but is fairly innocuous. Both love their plankton.
@Vitu_E Opener crisis could be solved by locking Root in a dark room and then sending him out with Cook while telling him Eng are 22 for 2.
— Paul Okey (@courierSportEd) August 17, 2017
Think you’ve cracked it, Paul. Either that or England should stop taking the phrase “add two wickets to the score and then see where you are” so literally.
12th over: England 54-2 (Cook 28, Root 8) Nicely done from Root. Leaves all five to start and gets Cummins to find him. When he does, Root goes on his toes and guides a drive through gully for four bits.
George Brown writes: “On the subject of the names for the new breaks in play, I’ve been advocating ‘High Tea’ and ‘Cocktails’.” Similarly - anyone for “Pre-lash” and “Kebab stop”?
11th over: England 50-2 (Cook 28, Root 4) Team half-century up with defensive cover-up from Cook, who moves late and back to defend a rising delivery from skipper Jason Holder, who brings himself on for Kemar Roach.
10th over: England 46-2 (Cook 24, Root 4) This could have been an excellent over but for a comical bit of fielding by mid on, who dives needlessly and misses a tame drive from Root. What should have been none becomes three.
“Jinxes notwithstanding- the ball being pink helps people in the crowd to see it when it keeps hurtling toward the boundary.” Good point, Ant Pease. Interesting discussions on Twitter right now, led by former Test batsmen Mark Butcher, on how the pink ball is coming across on TV. Worth clicking on his own quoted Tweet below and reading through the thread.
Ok, made my mind up - really not easy to see on tv. https://t.co/tqZEW4FMp0
— mark butcher (@markbutcher72) August 17, 2017
9th over: England 42-2 (Cook 23, Root 1) Root off the mark with a scampered single as Roach perhaps starts to feel the strain of his opening spell. Five overs so far and he sends a few wide of the off stump.
Ryan Loonan emails in: “One thing I have been thinking about since my own lunch an hour ago, is what sort of food will be on offer for the players at “lunch” and ‘tea’ today?” It’s now “tea” and “dinner”, good sir. “Will they be sticking with the usual offerings in keeping with the traditional breaks, or will the menus be adjusted to match the time?” Excellent question. I’d like to think that with the new times, the leftovers from today’s “dinner” will be tomorrow’s “tea”.
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8th over: England 39-2 (Cook 22, Root 0) A few inswingers and that key punchline – back in, sharp. Well bowled, Miguel. Wicket maiden to start his Test.
Problem with playing West Indies is that the likes of Stoneman and Westley will misleadingly fill their boots ahead of the Ashes...
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) August 17, 2017
WICKET! Westley LBW 8 Cummins (England 39-2)
Out on review, which is a nonsense – how did Marais Erasmus not give that out on the field? Miguel Cummins moves one into Westley, hits about shin height and looks like it’s taking leg stump for a walk. Holder asks for DRS, Hawkeye does the rest.
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7th over: England 39-1 (Cook 22, Westley 8) A second maiden for Roach, who currently has figures of one for 14 from his four overs. “Do AC’S opening partners begin to remind you of Kenny, from South Park in any way?” Spot on. Dying at the end of every episode, back to life for the next series with a new hood only to suffer the same fate each week.
6th over: England 39-1 (Cook 22, Westley 8) Alzarri Joseph’s not quite hit his straps, but he hasn’t bowled badly. This over a case in point: he finds Cook’s edge, gets the inswinger going and is pushing the late eighties throughout. The issue is that Cook’s edge was guided through gully, again, for four and Westley uses the pace to punch through cover off the back foot.
Afternoon, Lee Smith. “Just as interested to see how the OBO fares as much as the cricketers themselves, having been through the County pink ball round of fixtures with Will MacP, I predict a series case of discombobulation sometime around Saturday evening. About 9pm.” I expect we’ll all be a little off-the-wall by then. Thankfully, Rob Smyth will have tagged in by then. “You’ll need to channel your inner Lionel...”
5th over: England 30-1 (Cook 17, Westley 4) T-Dubz off the mark with a punch down the ground through mid on.
@Vitu_E Can I be the idiot and ask why a pink ball is needed for d/n tests?
— Harry Coleman (@HoratioNK) August 17, 2017
Idiot away, Harry. Essentially, it’s for the Twilight/night period. The pink ball is easier to pick up as the light fades and the floodlights take over.
4th over: England 26-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) Cook in good order, in case you were wondering. You weren’t, were you? Works well through midwicket for four, then drives serenely through the covers for a second. The third finishes the over off – a cut through backward point. Have they not watched this bloke play before? Not there, Alzarri.
“So what’s the story on Hameed?” asks Mohamed Joomun. “I know he’s been out of form, but as they say ‘form is temporary; class is permanent’.” Had a solid second-innings against Hampshire the other day so looks to be on the way up. England are still monitoring him very closely and it sounds like they want him to keep going for Lancashire till the end of the season. Wouldn’t be surprised if he then makes it to Australia as the spare opener (I trust Stoneman to score big this series).
3rd over: England 14-1 (Cook 5, Westley 0) A wicket maiden for Roach, which ends with him beating Tom Westley on the outside edge. He’s back.
WICKET! Stoneman b Roach 8 (England 14-1)
Oh my... what an absolute seed! Roach moves the ball into the left-hander but it nips away after it pitches and clips the very top of off stump. Wowee
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2nd over: England 14-0 (Cook 5, Stoneman 8) Alzarri Joseph, 20-years-old, star of West Indies successful U19 World Cup last year, takes the second over. He’s got a bit more pace about him but he hasn’t quite translated his age-group form to the big league. Still, he shapes up nicely and nearly brings one back in enough to force Cook to chop on. The former England captain even pinches a boundary edging through gully.
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1st over: England 10-0 (Cook 1, Stoneman 8) The first run with the pink ball comes off the very first delivery, as Cook tips and runs to give Mark Stoneman his first taste of Test cricket. There’s a lot of chat about how seamers need to make use of the new nut (as ever). Roach, though, has other ideas. He sends one into second slip (yep, really), then over-pitches allowing Stoneman to caress through covert for his first boundary of his international career. The second comes soon after, picking off a leg-stump half-volley through vacant square leg.
“Top of the afternoon to you.” And to you, John Starbuck. “There’s been plenty lately about what happened in previous England-Windies encounters, so you might want to be careful about the imagery today. Bloodying a few noses probably wouldn’t go down well in the Gatting household, for instance. Focus on how the ball behaves and decide if the outcomes depend on uncertainties on the part of the batsmen or genuine physics. I expect a few OBO readers will help out on the latter.”
There we go,bit of history. First delivery in a day-night Test in England. Roach to Cook. Single taken. #ENGvWI pic.twitter.com/A8ISkAg1y4
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) August 17, 2017
Alastair Cook and Mark Stoneman, England’s 12th opener with AC since Andrew Strauss slid away in 2012, are out in the middle. Jason Holder finishes his huddle and we are moments away from action...
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Good afternoon to Matthew Doherty: “Are the batsmen allowed miners lamps on their helmets?” Not a bad shout. I’ve played in a couple of club matches that were lit by the headlights of a car. Same premise, right? Also, batsmen tend to watch their shots, even if they don’t go to the boundary, so the path will be illuminated for fielders, too. Matthew, you might be a genius.
“So then, England are batting,” starts Neil Harris. He’s been playing attention. “Can I start the #declerationspeculation?” Go wild. Our man from Edgbaston, Ali Martin, is way ahead of you:
Joe Root wins the toss and England are batting. Early chance for Mark Stoneman to impress. Chance of a funky declaration tonight?
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) August 17, 2017
(slim)
ENGLAND WIN THE TOSS AND BAT FIRST!
“It looks a belter,” says Joe Root, who gets the inaugural English day-night Test up and running with a horrendous coin toss. Really poor. The sort of toss you’d ask to be redone if it was settling a pub score. We know his side – Stoneman in, no Chris Woakes – but we’ve got a surprise with the West Indies XI, with no Shannon Gabriel. Holder wants him to get overs under his belt: “He had a run out at Derby and it didn’t quite go according to plan.” No spinners, either, as leg spinner Devendra Bishoo is left out. Miguel Cummins, who takes Gabriel’s place, is seriously quick.
England: Cook, Stoneman, Westley, Root, Malan, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Roland-Jones, Broad, Anderson
West Indies: K.Brathwaite, Powell, S Hope, K Hope, Chase, Blackwood, Dowrich, Holder, Roach, Joseph, Cummins
Already, some sage advice from a pink ball VETERAN:
@Vitu_E my thoughts on today - after being at Day 1 of the CC D/N game at Trent Bridge - take a blanket!
— YummyBear (@Beardo7) August 17, 2017
Not to mention some colour from the ground...
@Vitu_E Local report from Edgbaston #EngvWI
— LetsNotLeave (@localnotail) August 17, 2017
- it rained quite a lot overnight
- Jerusalem has been played over PA system but no Bob Marley
Nae bother, we can fix that 👇
PREAMBLE
Feels quite disconcerting pounding away at the keyboard for a Test match preamble when the morning has already come and gone and the afternoon is just getting its eye in. Tell you what - it feels a lot like jet lag. My eyes can’t quite grasp the light, my throat is parched, nose clogged (always is, mind) and my meals are out of sync. Had some sushi for breakfast about 20-minutes ago. Day-Night Test cricket, eh?
You join me for history in the making: the first pink ball English Test. This will be the fifth overall, with three having taken place in Adelaide, Australia and one – the most dire of the lot – in the UAE between Pakistan and West Indies. The key difference here is that we’ve got a Dukes ball, which might not seem like a big deal, but given Dukes’ superiority with the red one and the cat fight that has erupted between them and Kookaburra over the last week, it’ll probably garner for column inches than Mark Stoneman on debut (he’s good; five-seasons with over a thousand first-class runs in a row good) or the rebirth/re-death of West Indies cricket.
My colleague Will Macpherson has written very well on the pink ball – both at the Champion County match over in Dubai during pre-season, at the round of Championship fixtures which mimicked these playing conditions and just yesterday in the paper (remember papers?), so you don’t need any more from me on that.
So, to the key question – how good are the West Indies? Not very. England should really be winning this Test series 3-0 (subject to weather), though talk of a bit of an experimental side for the third match at Lord’s might slightly open the door for a tourist win. Their bowling attack, spearheaded by Shannon Gabriel, who head coach Stuart Law reckons is the fastest bowler out there, has been supplemented by the return of Kemar Roach, back and firing off the back of an exceptional first class season for Barbados. They’ll bloody a few noses but the feeling is that they need to meet their batsmen more than halfway. Jermaine Blackwood, who excelled when these two met a couple of years ago, has gone through something of a transformation to get himself tighter – Law has played his part here – while Kraigg Brathwaite’s more of a barnacle than a steady accumulator. Shai Hope is one to look out for, too. How they fare with and against that new cherry will dictate a heck of a lot. As ever.
The ball may be a different colour, the hours offset, but that first hour is still crucial…
Some fantastic images of England v West Indies battles through the years …
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And here’s a couple of scene setters to get you in the mood:
Will Macpherson analyses what the pink ball is likely to do …
And Vic Marks does the same for the Windies batsman …
Vish will be here shortly. Here’s Ali Martin on a landmark day (and night) for England:
Joe Root called on his England players to think on their feet before Thursday’s maiden day-night Test against West Indies at Edgbaston, urging them to put aside any preconceived ideas about how the pink ball will play under floodlights and adapt accordingly.
The uncapped Mark Stoneman in place of Keaton Jennings at the top of the order is the one change from the XI who completed the 3-1 victory over South Africa last week and, with the new set of tourists ranked eighth in the world, England’s target will be for a clean sweep in the three-game series, their last Test outings before the winter’s Ashes tour.
Playing the first Test in day-night conditions adds an element of jeopardy, however, and the buildup this week has seen plenty of theories regarding a pink Dukes ball that goes soft after the opening burst, the effect of twilight in the evening session on batting conditions, the impact on body clocks and fatigue across a five-day game.
Stuart Broad has described it as a “step into the unknown” and Root, in keeping with his intention to be an instinctive leader upon taking over the captaincy at the start of the year, believes the best approach is “to keep an open mind” and play the situation as it unfolds.
