It was Sri Lanka’s morning and it was Jonny Bairstow’s late afternoon today. England could have folded after an early collapse and losing Alastair Cook when he was the only batsman who had got a start. But Sri Lanka made mistakes in the field and Eranga’s drop of Bairstow has cost them 96 runs and counting. This one is very finely poised, so that could be huge.
Congratulations Jonny. Your form might be terrifying right now – he has more First Class runs than any other player on earth in the past 12 months – but do you have any idea how much a round is going to cost me round here?
@willis_macp @dan_brigham @Vitu_E Of he makes it in Tests I'll buy you all a beer, ok?
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) June 2, 2015
@dan_brigham @willis_macp @Vitu_E 3+ Test hundreds the benchmark. I look forward to my three beers
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) June 2, 2015
Tomorrow looks like it could be a cracker. Join me again tomorrow for that. Cheers for reading. Bye!
Stumps England 279-6
90th over: England 279-6 (Woakes 23, Bairstow 107) Six balls left for Bairstow to survive then. He drives the first for a couple and turns the third to midwicket for two more. The fourth he pushes past poor ol’ Herath, making the spinner chase it all the way to the boundary just to save one measly run, then Woakes survives the final two.
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89th over: England 272-6 (Woakes 23, Bairstow 100) Square leg had actually gone back for that first ball, perhaps Mathews was anticipating the sweep and possible top edge. Either way, it meant Bairstow had an easy run to reach his hundred: it’s not been his best and he shouldn’t still be there, but it’s an important one for England. One more over now.
Jonny Bairstow century
88.1 overs England 272-6 (Woakes 23, Bairstow 100) Oh it’s Herath again. Bairstow is on strike and he clips the first ball of the over square on the leg side for the single that takes him there.
If you’re reading, Will and Vish...
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88th over: England 271-6 (Woakes 23, Bairstow 99) Another bowling change: Mathews has realised that bowling Herath was a rubbish idea and immediately replaces him with Lakmal. Bairstow, who has never scored a First Class ton here, gets a thick inside edge on to his pads and out to midwicket for two, then cuts hard to point for one more. You can sense the nervousness from here, but my feeling is it’s the crowd feeling it rather than the batsman. Woakes is squared up by the fifth but guides it down to third man for a single, meaning Bairstow is on strike for the last ball... which he hooks down to the man at long leg for one. The cheers from the stands are quickly muted by that.
87th over: England 266-6 (Woakes 22, Bairstow 95) Maybe Bairstow is going to get there before stumps: short, wide rubbish from Pradeep and JB chops him hard behind point for four. He chips the final ball of the over in the air but safely enough out to midwicket to edge one closer to three figures.
86th over: England 261-6 (Woakes 22, Bairstow 90) It’s a double change in fact as Eranga is replaced by... Herath??? Does Mathews know this isn’t Twenty20? Bairstow, unflustered by this madness, drills one out to deep extra-cover to move into the 90s.
85th over: England 260-6 (Woakes 22, Bairstow 89) Yep, a change of bowling as Pradeep comes on. It did seem a bit wasteful, having Mathews bowl with the new ball in a Test. It works in T20 and ODIs, but certainly not here when you’re looking to maintain pressure on the batting team. Bairstow pushes for a single – earlier it looked like he was a dead certainty to reach his 100 today but England slowed up a hell of a lot in the last 10 overs or so with the old ball. Pradeep beats Woakes outside edge with one that keeps low, but there’s nowt threatening the stumps.
84th over: England 259-6 (Woakes 22, Bairstow 88) Pradeep is warming up. With the match very nicely poised right now, Sri Lanka will be utterly ecstatic if he can blast out one of these two before the close in six overs’ time. On the other hand, if these two can get the ball flying off the back then all of Sri Lanka’s good work earlier could go up in dust: Woakes times one perfectly back past Eranga for four, nearly taking Bairstow out in the process.
83rd over: England 255-6 (Woakes 18, Bairstow 88) Woakes gets his first boundary of the day, getting forward, leaning into an innocuous Mathews delivery and sending the ball tumbling on its merry way to the cover boundary. Two balls later Mathews fuller, wider, and smacked to the same part of the ground. Woakes isn’t the second coming of Jacques Kallis, but he’s far too good a batsman for this dross. Given how well Pradeep and Lakmal bowled with the new ball earlier, Sri Lanka are really letting their feet off the throats.
82nd over: England 246-6 (Woakes 9, Bairstow 88) Eranga is sharing the new ball. He’s finding a wee bit of movement but Woakes looks confident – looks to slash through the covers where a fumble allows him a single. Four more then to Bairstow when Eranga goes too full and is laced perfectly through the off-side.
I should have mentioned that Botham was talking about bats below.
New ball taken
81st over: England 241-6 (Woakes 8, Bairstow 84) Yep we’re going straight to the new ball, although strangely Angelo Mathews is keeping it to himself. Not sure about that, given Pradeep was, *cough*, 90mph+ earlier today. Woakes gets three more thanks to another bad misfield, this time at mid-on.
“I’ve played with a lot of blokes who were fiddlers,” says Botham on Sky. “They’d take one rubber off and put another one on.”
No? Just me?
80th over: England 238-6 (Woakes 5, Bairstow 84) Six more deliveries until the new ball is available. Mahela Jayawardene reckons they have to take it and he’s almost certainly not wrong given the impasse we’re at right now. Anyway, the batsmen milk four singles from Herath.
79th over: England 234-6 (Woakes 3, Bairstow 82) Angelo Mathews looks to liven change things up a bit by bringing himself on. Batting well outside his crease, Bairstow is easily able to get on top of a straight on, push it to mid-on and run a single that you or I would never have the speed or fitness to get. Mathews reckons he might have Woakes as the batsman has a push and there’s a sound, but the review reveals it not to even be close. Sri Lanka are out of reviews, but of course get them back in two overs.
Not out
There’s daylight between bat and ball. A slight, soft noise but it’s clearly bat on pad.
Review Woakes c Chandimal b Mathews
Given not out as he pushed at a slow one that nibbled away.
78th over: England 233-6 (Woakes 3, Bairstow 81) Bairstow looks to have taken a run while I check my emails. I’m pretty annoyed to be honest, given nothing else happened in that over. The run rate drops to 2.99.
Jon Peach suggests: “People have spoken a lot about Borthwick, Hildreth and Bairstow moving up the order to 5, but for me the most sensible option is currently at the other end to Johnny. Ali at 5 would be ideal in my opinion. He is a top order batsman, it would allow Stokes and Bairstow to continue in their preferred positions. It would improve the bowling side (allowing you to either bring in an extra spinner for balance) or keeping both Woakes and Finn in the side. I also think you would lose pretty much nothing. Woakes at 8 is no Moeen of course, but then who is.”
I think Moeen at seven is fine. He scores most of his runs with big airy shots outside off and loses a lot of his wickets that way too. You want someone tighter at five.
77th over: England 232-6 (Woakes 3, Bairstow 80) A brief delay between the overs as Bairstow gets a rub down for what looks like cramp. Totally worth the wait as Woakes sees off six of Lakmal’s 80mph exocets.
76th over: England 232-6 (Woakes 3, Bairstow 80) We still have 15 overs left in the day and can go on another hour and 20 minutes or so, so I guess England are just seeing off the old ball now. Bairstow pushes down the ground to move on to 80 and Woakes sees off the next four balls, before cutting the last down towards backward point for his first three runs of the day.
75th over: England 228-6 (Woakes 0, Bairstow 79) After Bairstow cuts for a single, Woakes pushes forward and is beaten by one that just nips down the slope and away from his outside edge.
Olly Horne offers: “More curry son? No thanks, I’m Fulmar.” That’s good, but take a bow Chris Moore: “Had a chicken tarka the other day – it’s like chicken tikka only a little ‘otter.”
74th over: England 227-6 (Woakes 0, Bairstow 78) Moeen is beaten by one that turns and bounces sharply, a long way inside his bat and it loops up off the pad. And then, without further ado, he’s gone and England, if they’re not careful, could be all out tonight for less than 280.
“Not sure why there is all this doom about Compdog,” writes Pete Salmon. According to that list of leading batsmen in 2016 he’s in the top 20, ahead of players like Kane Williamson and A B de Villiers. A fine effort.” This is a joke, I assume? Compton averages 15.
Wicket! c Mathews b Herath 25 Eng 227-6
Herath gets one to just turn the other way, Moeen follows it and gets a thin edge through to Mathews, who takes an excellent low catch at slip.
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73rd over: England 226-5 (Moeen 25, Bairstow 77) We’ve hit a bit of a lull the past few overs, but the run-rate remains above three, which is decent enough given England’s collapse earlier. Two singles off the over.
Graeme Thorn, optimist that he is, wants to talk DRS: “The question DRS is answering is not ‘is it out?’ it’s ‘is there enough to overturn the umpire’s decision?’. Moving to the first, rather than the second, as the question to be answered would mean that umpires could ultimately be redundant, as it could then be used on all deliveries, if it were optimised to be quick enough.”
That’s a very good, well-thought-out point Graeme and it’s tough to disagree. But look, a pun!
Phil Sawyer: “Not sure about curry related seabirds, Dan. But I know you get a lot of Bhuna-cles in the seaside rockpools.”
72nd over: England 224-5 (Moeen 24, Bairstow 76) An actual run off Herath! Just one from the over and that’s drinks.
The Umpires call makes a good review useless. It should be out or not out on review. Otherwise it becomes a bit of a farce
— Kumar Sangakkara (@KumarSanga2) June 9, 2016
71st over: England 223-5 (Moeen 23, Bairstow 76) Lakmal is worked for a pair of singles, before Moeen drives through extra cover, up the hill but not hard enough to reach the boundary, for three more.
“Hi Dan,” begins Anthony Ferguson, “just to ensure the rest of the day’s play is completely overshaddowed by terrible bird puns, it’s a shame that gull in the curry wasn’t a korma-rant or a chilli-mot.”
Meanwhile...
High time the ICC got rid of this umpires call. If the ball is hitting the stumps it should be out on review regardless of umps decision.
— Kumar Sangakkara (@KumarSanga2) June 9, 2016
Up to you lot which of those you want to discuss, though I’m expecting a clear winner.
70th over: England 218-5 (Moeen 19, Bairstow 75) Herath keeps tossing it up and Bairstow keeps the two catchers down the ground in mind, playing out as he does a maiden. As Rob Smyth to my right points out, Bairstow is now the leading run-scorer in Tests this year at an average just north of 100, albeit from a small selection.
69th over: England 218-5 (Moeen 19, Bairstow 75) Bairstow gets a leading edge to cover and they dash through for one. A couple of balls later, Moeen takes full advantage of too much width – yet again – and gets his Saeed Anwar on to lace it through cover. That’s the 50 partnership from 74 balls. And they add a couple more with a not-so-well timed drive to the same region.
I always considered Rick Ponting to be about the best between the wickets I’ve seen, but Jonny B may be even better. @DanLucas86 #EngvSL
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) June 9, 2016
68th over: England 211-5 (Moeen 13, Bairstow 74) It’s a double change from Mathews, as he brings Herath on. Moeen blocks out the first five, then inside edges on to his pad going for a huge sweep at the sixth. Maiden.
67th over: England 211-5 (Moeen 13, Bairstow 74) Time for a change of bowling: Lakmal is on for Pradeep. He offers up a rank long hop outside Moeen’s off-stump, from round the wicket, but again the bounce isn’t especially predictable and Moeen misses out with a wild heave. That’s not your game, Mo, you’re too beautiful for that. Two balls later he goes for a big drive at a fuller, but equally wide, one and it squirts off the inside edge for the over’s only run.
66th over: England 210-5 (Moeen 12, Bairstow 74) The runs are flowing and they’re flowing in boundaries: Bairstow backs away, cuts at one that keeps low and sends a thick top edge between the slips to the fence at third man.
“Could Bairstow have walked there?” asks Steve Anthony. “I wonder if Gilly would have done... Seriously, though, this highlights a stark flaw in the DRS and particularly Hawkeye. It’s one thing not to get the decision, but with such a marginal call they certainly shouldn’t lose the review.”
You don’t tend to see anyone walk for an lbw as you’re never entirely certain. As for the lost review, I’m in the minority here but I support it. DRS is there for the howlers, not the marginal decisions. If you didn’t lose a review for umpire’s call then captains would be reviewing every tight decision with impunity.
65th over: England 204-5 (Moeen 12, Bairstow 68) Another wristy cover drive up the hill from Bairstow married to some more sharp running brings two more. He then goes back and half cuts, half punches past the diving man at extra cover to make this the fourth over on the spin to feature a boundary. That also brings up the 200. Time to get Herath on perhaps? Another single then Moeen gets two when he forces poor old Herath to go running after one clipped a yard to his right at mid-on. You mean git, Mo.
In other news.
64th over: England 195-5 (Moeen 10, Bairstow 61) Eranga has certainly been the unluckiest bowler today. He could have had Bairstow twice in the last over – and, let’s face it, did once – and here finds a thick outside edge that flies wide of gully for a single. He then goes too straight and Moeen clips him square through the leg-side for four. The run-rate has climbed back above three for the first time since early this morning.
“Do 2nd division players get overlooked unfairly when call-ups are discussed?” asks Kristian Petterson. “Of course Ali and Cook are both there now but would they have been picked originally if in Div 2? As a Glos supporter, I’d argue for Chris Dent (hah!) but others have already mentioned Bell-Drummond and even Ben Duckett. Is it inevitable they need to move (or get promotion) to be in the frame?”
I think it’s fair that second division players need to do something pretty special. Surrey were tipped to challenge for the title this year and look how woeful they’ve been since being promoted.
63rd over: England 190-5 (Moeen 6, Bairstow 60) Oh that’s pure Moeen. Not a terrible ball, full-ish and maybe a fraction wide of off, but the Worcestershire man stands tall and drives gloriously on the up through extra-cover for four. Pradeep comes back over the wicket and Moeen cuts hard at a short wide bit of filth, but it’s well stopped by, I think, Silva on the dive at cover point.
Simon Darvill asks: “Coming from a family of Northants followers - is it just our family who refer to them as just “the county” (as my dad did to me last night when talking about the runfest against Notts) or is this a more widespread phenomena?”
I don’t know. I know it’s fairly widespread among Northants fans but I don’t know if it’s exclusive to us, if that makes sense? Speaking of Northants families, I remember my dad feeling quite patronised by this:
Absolutely nothing to do with anything going on today, but who remembers Willow and Stumpy? @DanLucas86 pic.twitter.com/9lEGeKjx8P
— Steve Pye (@1980sSportsBlog) June 9, 2016
62nd over: England 186-5 (Moeen 2, Bairstow 60) A wide, floaty half-volley from Eranga and Bairstow thwacks it dismissively towards extra cover, where Silva makes an excellent stop diving to his right. There follows a review and it really, really is quite clearly out, but there we have the issue with the predictive side of Hawkeye. More luck for Bairstow as he gets a thick inside edge on a drive, down to fine leg for four more.
The current regs are 50% of the ball, right?
— LordYama (@Grim_Reaper71) June 9, 2016
Not out
It’s absolutely smashing into leg-stump but Hawkeye is far too much of a wuss to go against the umpire here. Lucky break for JB.
Review Bairstow lbw
Struck on the back pad and given not out, think it’s going well down leg.
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61st over: England 182-5 (Moeen 2, Bairstow 56) Bairstow punches the first ball of the over to mid-on, where the fielder only has to take a step to his right but still the batsman is comfortably through for a single. It’s these small things you have to admire as much as the effervescent booming drives. After Moeen whips another single away round the corner, Bairstow drives on the up and in the air just wide of the diving man at cover, getting four but six inches away from losing his wicket. One more single, then Pradeep gets an official warning for running on the pitch from round the wicket.
60th over: England 175-5 (Moeen 1, Bairstow 50) Eranga from the Pavilion End and Bairstow immediately punches off the back foot for the single that takes him to a half-century. What form this guy is in: I have to admit I didn’t think he was a Test player when he was recalled but he’s been outstanding and has softened the blow of Jos Buttler’s failed first dig at this Test cricket lark.
“Lets call this thing what it is, dead rubber syndrome,” writes Harry Axer. It’s not a terrible shout at all given the way England have played in them in recent years.
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59th over: England 174-5 (Moeen 1, Bairstow 49) It’s Pradeep to Bairstow after tea. He fires in a yorker and hits the Yorkie on the pad, going up for lbw. It’s going miles down leg and then there’s further ignominy for the Sri Lankans as a fielder flings it miles past the stumps, with Bairstow stood out his crease, and away for four buzzers. He was out had it hit, but it was as off target as a second row’s drop goal. Bairstow flicks the next one off his pads and through midwicket for another boundary. One more, out to square leg takes him within one of a fine 50.
“Nice to see you having a dig at the Yorkists, Dan,” writes Phil Sawyer. “On behalf of Lancashire, gabba gabba we accept you and all that (or gooble gabble for Freaks pedants). Or, since I’m from Blackpool, would you like some cheese and onion pie and chips? It’s our usual way of showing solidarity.”
I’m Northants through and through, though as I went to university in Lancaster I guess they’re my second team.
Here we go again. If England can get through to the close around 240-6 they won’t be too crushed. Anything worse and they’ll be miffed.
In fact, Thomas Hopkins has just emailed me a link to a bunch of the films from the post below. “Some absolute gold on here,” he notes, “actual Bill Ponsford batting and MPs bowling legside filth for example.” Cheers for that, Thomas.
On another note, this looks cracking. Spend your money here rather than giving Marvel more cash to vomit some transformers on screen.
Enjoy a huge new collection of rare cricketing films spanning over 100 years #CricketOnFilm https://t.co/KnKT2wNEvP pic.twitter.com/xdK9xPgWid
— BFI (@BFI) June 9, 2016
The Manchester City of County Cricket.
Kane Williamson has arrived at Headingley & is looking forward to representing Yorkshire this summer.#YourYorkshire https://t.co/ryT26qLPdz
— Yorkshire CCC (@YorkshireCCC) June 9, 2016
Cheers once again Rob. That’s looking a lot healthier for England than it was when Vince got out just after tea, despite losing a set batsman pretty well out of nowhere. England have enough batting that they’re not in real trouble and we did think they were light after the first innings at Headingley. The thing is batting isn’t anything like as treacherous as it was up north and, had you offered Angelo Mathews England 165 for five after losing the toss, he’d have bitten your hand off and taken a good chunk of the wrist with it.
Once again, you can email me here or tweet me here.
TEA
58th over: England 165-5 (Bairstow 44, Moeen 1) “Both Gary and yourself need to go and stand in a corner,” says Ian Copestake. “No, Smyth, a different corner.”
Eranga bowls the last over before tea, with an optimistic LBW appeal against Moeen from the final delivery. It’s turned down, and Mathews has no interest in a review. Mainly because it came off the middle of the bat.
Right, that’s tea; Dan Lucas will join you after the break.. Bye!
Updated
57th over: England 165-5 (Bairstow 44, Moeen 1) That wicket will have dragged a few drool-soaked members from their afternoon nap; there was an audible gasp when the LBW was given, as everybody just assumed Cook was pottering towards a century. England’s conversion rate has not been great in the last few years.
“Excuse my ignorance Rob,” says Dave Moore, whose politeness will never catch on round here, “but how come Cook has about 500 less runs as an opener in Tests than his overall Test runs? Did he bat down the order previously? If so I missed that one.”
Yep, in 2006 against Sri Lanka and Pakistan, when Marcus Trescothick briefly returned to the side. He got a couple of his hundreds there I think.
WICKET! England 164-5 (Cook LBW b Pradeep 85)
Cook has gone! He seemed to be cruising to a century. He fell over towards the off side and played around a fine inswinger from Pradeep that hit the pad in front of the stumps. You could sense that Cook wanted to review it, but it was plumb. Well bowled.
Updated
56th over: England 162-4 (Cook 83, Bairstow 44) Eranga replaces Herath for a little burst before tea. Nothing much happens, though Bairstow is denied a boundary by a diving save at gully.
“Alastair Cook appears to be (simultaneously) playing each ball on its merits, batting sessions and setting his stall out to play through the day,” says Gary Naylor. “I guess that’s what 10,000+ runs does for a batsman.” True, although wasn’t he doing that after 0 runs?
55th over: England 160-4 (Cook 82, Bairstow 43) Bairstow edges Pradeep in the air and wide of the slips for four. That was at catchable height for maybe fourth or fifth slip. Pradeep has been unlucky today.
54th over: England 155-4 (Cook 82, Bairstow 38) Cook is now 62 runs away from being the most productive opener in Test history: at the moment he has 9546 runs. Sunil Gavaskar is ahead of him on 9607.
53rd over: England 149-4 (Cook 79, Bairstow 35) Pradeep has bowled well and continues his pursuit of Cook’s outside edge. Would that it were so simple.
52nd over: England 148-4 (Cook 78, Bairstow 35) “For how long would Bairstow have to keep up his terrific form in both Test and County Cricket before the selectors countenanced moving him up the order into a definite batting slot?” asks George Rogers. “I see no reason why he shouldn’t be our first choice to bat five for England.”
It’s tricky, because he is playing so well at No6/No7, and it’s interlinked with Jos Buttler. England will be keen to get Buttler sooner rather than later, but he needs first-class runs. Also Bairstow wants the gloves, so would taking them off him demoralise him. It’s a complicated case: lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. I have a fear Buttler isn’t going to make it at Test level.
Updated
51st over: England 148-4 (Cook 78, Bairstow 35) Bairstow clearly wants to get after Mathews. In the end he has to take a tight single to mid-on, and survives a run-out referral when the throw hits the stumps. He was comfortably home thanks to his prowess between the wickets. Sometimes speed saves rather than kills. A floaty half-volley from Mathews is then timed through the covers by Cook. That’s the first boundary off Mathews’ bowling.
Updated
50th over: England 143-4 (Cook 74, Bairstow 34) A rare poor ball from Herath is walloped square for four by Cook. He is playing an immaculate first-day innings.
“That was always the most damning aspect of Football Manager, the accumulated time spent on the thing which it would proudly display,” says Ian Copestake, who has been clean for 12 years, 242 days. “I think I managed a week before the intervention.”
I thought the intervention happened in 2003 when you did a cover of ‘Cry Me A River’ called ‘Buy Me Doriva’?
49th over: England 138-4 (Cook 69, Bairstow 34) Mathews continues, and there is banterplause when Cook pushes him for a run – the first he has conceded, from his 37th delivery. In other news, Dan Lucas has returned with a bag of Monster Munch, so that’ll be me for 10 minutes. Bye!
“Adam Pervoe’s girlfriend wants to kill cricket, you say?” says Tom Atkins. “Did she work for the ECB in the 1990s, by any chance?”
No, but maybe she works for the BCCI now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
48th over: England 138-4 (Cook 69, Bairstow 34) Bairstow continues to attack Herath, making room to drive in the air but well wide of extra-cover for a couple. He’s batting like a hungry caveman.
“I’m pretty sure it’s mine,” says Adam Pervoe of his beloved first-born it. “I just wasted the pram money on a new bat, though. Averaged 2.8 with the old one.”
You know you said you were off to get drunk...
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47th over: England 135-4 (Cook 68, Bairstow 32) Angelo Mathews decides it’s time to destroy something beautiful, in this case his retro bowling figures of 4-4-0-0. Or, perhaps, to make them even more beautiful: after six dot balls to Bairstow, they read 5-5-0-0.
“If you’ve gone and jinxed Cook with all that waffle about his next hundred, I reckon you should be made to compile a league table of OBO writers as soon as he throws it away,” says John Starbuck. “Admittedly, you all have to have written a lot of OBO to provide a meaningful statistic, so shall we say at least three (3 matches +) series?” Why don’t we go the whole hog and I’ll work out exactly how many hours of my life I’ve given to this thing.
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46th over: England 135-4 (Cook 68, Bairstow 32) No matter how many Test runs Jonny Bairstow, I doubt batting will ever be as easy as it is right now. He advances to Herath and panels him over extra cover for four more, as if it’s the most logical, risk-free thing in the world. Later in the over, Cook brings up the fifty partnership.
“My girlfriend detests cricket,” says Adam Pervoe. “She doesn’t understand it and wants to kill it. Considering I spend half my life watching, playing and discussing it, how long until she realises that we are thoroughly incompatible. I’m now off to play cricket and get drunk. She used to enjoy drinking, but she’s pregnant now and can’t even do that. I will let you know how the row goes during play tomorrow.” Selfish git, you were probably the one who get her pregnant as well.
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45th over: England 128-4 (Cook 66, Bairstow 27) Cook’s last century for the Abu Dhabi marathon, so he will be keener than usual to get his 29th Test hundred. It has looked almost inevitable all day. At the other end, Bairstow continues to punish the dropped chance. It could be worse for Sri Lanka: England dropped Adam Gilchrist four times on this ground in 2001. But Bairstow is currently having similar - if nowhere near as powerful - impact on weary attacks as Gilchrist did.
44th over: England 126-4 (Cook 65, Bairstow 26) Hello. Herath continues and is milked for five runs, including a really sharp two from Bairstow. He is exceptional between the wickets, and has been ever since he stole a load of twos on that brilliant England debut in 2011.
43rd over: England 121-4 (Cook 63, Bairstow 23) This should be the final over before drinks and the return to the OBO of Rob Smyth and memories of 90s cricket up to tea. This is a nice little spell from Eranga and he squares Bairstow up again, beating the outside edge and not for the first time. It’s hardly Steyn v Collingwood 2010, but he’s not letting the Yorkshireman get settled.
Speaking of squaring batsmen up, Robert Wolf Petersen writes: “Just checked back on the OBO and noticed the pic of James Vince’s wicket. Squared up doesn’t even begin to cover it. Did he think he was playing French cricket?” I don’t think Pradeep even knew he’d bowled him at first: he seemed to appeal for the catch.
Anyway, that’s drinks and here’s Rob Smyth.
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42nd over: England 121-4 (Cook 63, Bairstow 23) That last over should have been a maiden. This one was a maiden.
41st over: England 121-4 (Cook 63, Bairstow 23) Cook pushes the first ball straight to the fielder at cover, but the dive is poor, it’s a misfield and England are donated three easy runs. We’ve had a couple of sloppy bits of fielding this session. Bairstow pushes hard and misses at one that nibbles away a wee bit down the slope.
40th over: England 118-4 (Cook 60, Bairstow 23) And with that, it’s time for some spin and Rangana Herath. Bairstow goes and goes hard, looking to send a big booming drive towards mid-off but instead slapping it limply to the man at cover for one. Keep dreaming, Jonny. Cook cuts the final ball for one more.
Hi @DanLucas86 so Cook currently averaging 69 for the series. Why do folk keep saying 'he's not one of the greats though'.
— Richard Morris (@richardmorrisuk) June 9, 2016
I remember Boycott saying a few years ago you can’t be considered one of the all-time greats while your career is still ongoing. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but it’s perhaps part of the reason. Also because some people are Piers Morgan.
39th over: England 116-4 (Cook 59, Bairstow 22) Another nudged single, to Bairstow through cover this time. This partnership has quietly crept up to 32 and as such is the second-highest of the innings already.
“I’m listening to the cricket on the radio and I’m finding now that I do understand it – at least I think I do. Actually find listening to cricket on the radio really really lovely.” That’s my girlfriend, telling me she has a better way to follow the cricket than reading the OBO.
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38th over: England 115-4 (Cook 59, Bairstow 21) The most strangled of shouts for lbw from Pradeep as he fires a yorker into Bairstow, aborted once he realises it came off the bat and down to long leg for one. Cook finishes the over with a push to mid-on for two more.
On Sky, Nasser reveals that they have a Tim Curtley Ambrose masterclass coming this summer, which should be absolutely fascinating. Especially when they put Atherton in the net against him.
@DanLucas86 Wang Root up to 3 and bring back the Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice at 5? He could get out much more prettily than Vince
— James Walsh (@jamesofwalsh) June 9, 2016
37th over: England 112-4 (Cook 57, Bairstow 20) Eranga has an immediate chance to make up for that drop as he comes on for Lakmal. Cook, incidentally, has gone past 50 for the 13th time at Lord’s, pulling him clear of Ian Bell in those stakes. He takes a single down the ground to put England on Nelson, then Bairstow gets them off it with a nudge to the leg-side.
This is very wise from Chris Drew: “Could I be the 724th person to argue that the current match situation underlines why touring sides, and especially early season touring sides, need more, and better, build up matches. More of this nip ‘n tuck would put more of the derrières on the seats. Otherwise, counties like Durham, Glamorgan will end up overbidding on – and losing money– hosting short Tests in spring that punters will not want to attend.”
I couldn’t agree more, that’s an excellent point. And, perhaps surprisingly, you’re the first person to make it today.
36th over: England 110-4 (Cook 56, Bairstow 19) Jonny Bairstow is a very lucky man. He clips a straight one off his pads straight to Eranga at midwicket and the fielder inexplicably drops it. That’s terrible – the ball was straight at him and barely below waist-height, not hit particularly hard. JB celebrates by working the very next ball past the same man for four. He smacks the final ball dismissively through mid-off for the same. He looks entirely unperturbed by offering up that chance.
Harry Drew has an idea who should come in at No3 for England: “The answer is another old dog, but one who has never been given a shot at senior international cricket: James Hildreth. He has over 550 runs this season at 63, including a ton against a Lancashire attack that included Jimmy Anderson. The shame is because he’s 31, but then his current skipper was 35 when he got the (second) opportunity he deserved, and that didn’t work out too badly.”
I’d dearly love to see James Hildreth get a go, I really would.
35th over: England 102-4 (Cook 56, Bairstow 11) Lakmal floats down a wide half-volley and Cook brings up the England 100 in lovely fashion, the perfect footwork, a lovely lean and timing it through cover for four.
“Afternoon Dan,” begins Simon McMahon. “One of the best gigs I ever saw was Brian Wilson at the Festival Theatre in Edinburgh about 10 years ago. Those songs! You really felt as though you were in the presence of greatness. Like watching England in the 90’s. And I wish I could have had some of what Brian was having back in the 60’s. You know, root beer and pretzels and that.”
It was four Euro frozen margaritas for me much of the time, Simon. Or some lethal mojitos on the first night. You’d have been a happy man.
34th over: England 98-4 (Cook 52, Bairstow 11) Two more to Bairstow with a slightly ungainly, all bottom hand, drive through extra cover although the hill prevents it from going all the way to the rope. Obviously England could do with a partnership here, but the problem hasn’t been – as has been so often the case in England’s weaker performances of recent times – batsmen getting in then out, but just throwing their wickets away early. Bairstow gets four more, driving a half-volley back past Pradeep. He then ducks into a short one that doesn’t get up at all and takes a couple of leg-byes off his – let’s not beat around the bush here – buttock.
33rd over: England 90-4 (Cook 52, Bairstow 5) England put on their best opening partnership of the series earlier – 56 – but have lost four for 28 since. Which isn’t really that impressive. Cook adds a single to his total with a push to mid-on, then Bairstow does likewise with a wristy flick out to deep midwicket.
“Afternoon Dan.” Afternoon, Phil Sawyer. “With all this talk of 90s cricket and unfulfilled potential, it’s nice to see the England cricket team today getting into the spirit of things and putting in a 90s tribute performance out at the crease.”
32nd over: England 88-4 (Cook 51, Bairstow 4) No sign of Herath: Pradeep continues to Vince and shows exactly what I know, removing the No5 with the third ball of the over. This is the proverbial malodorous stuff for England, although the entering Yorkshireman is in fine fettle. He only needs one more Test century for me to owe Will and Vish a pint. He’s away with a boundary, tucking a shorter, too-straight one off his ribs and through square-leg for four.
Wicket! Vince b Pradeep 10 Eng 84-4
A slightly odd one this. Vince plays down the wrong line and the ball just brushes the top right-hand corner of off. The bail comes off and the batsman looks around, with no one except Pradeep entirely sure what’s happened.
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31st over: England 84-3 (Cook 51, Vince 10) Vince on strike for the first time this session begins with a glorious, Bell-esque cover drive from a full one and laces it along the outfield for his first boundary. He fends off the next few – there’s clearly a plan for Lakmal to aim for Vince’s stumps here – then calmly glides a slightly wider one to third man for three more.
30th over: England 77-3 (Cook 51, Vince 3) Pradeep, 0-16 from his six so far, comes on from the other end. With Cook on strike that makes sense, though had it been Vince I do wonder if Mathews might have gone with Herath. A maiden, as eventful and engaging as a David O Russell film.
Sake.
Captains don't want even one, but James Sutherland, CA chief exec, is floating idea of TWO day/night Ashes Tests in 2017/18.
— richard hobson (@richardjhobson) June 9, 2016
29th over: England 77-3 (Cook 51, Vince 3) Here we go again. James Vince has a big job on his hands here, both for his team and for himself, but he couldn’t ask for better conditions in which to do it. Lakmal is the man with the ball, Cook the man on strike. Second ball of the over and the England captain moves to an assured, reassuring half-century, his 48th in Tests, from 89 balls with a push to midwicket for two. He gets one more with a push to gully from the final ball.
“Radiohead? Arrivistes,” writes Luke Williams, incorrectly. “Near me, coming up in August we have Status Quo, Foreigner and ‘The Original [sic] Blues Brothers Band’ sharing a stage in Erlach, and early September in Aargau, Krokus, Canned Heat, Suzi Quatro, and The Sweet. Brian Wilson, now; that’s a different matter entirely.”
“On that theme of ‘it could have been a decent side, if it had been properly selected and managed’, this XI could/should have been capable of much more than those teams that were actually selected/mismanaged,” reckons Richard Calland.
“1. Atherton
2. Stewart (agree, should have been left to open)
3. Hick
4. Ramprakash
5. Thorpe
6. Maynard
7. Lewis
8. Metson (best keeper during that decade)
9. Gough
10.Caddick
11. Tufnell
Well, perhaps not…”
On the cricket
“I would echo the appreciation for Thorpe from most of your correspondents,” writes David Pearce. “He was indeed a fantastic player and very unlucky to be dropped from the England team when he was. However, I can’t help but think that a little karma was involved. I ceased to like him, despite admiring his effectiveness, after his poorly thought out decision to leave Alex Tudor stranded on 99* when England still had half a day to bat. At the time he seemed to be looking for as high a not out as he could get by denying Tudor a century if necessary. It indicated to me a person who didn’t really take team mates into account and of course it was Tudor’s one and only chance to get a test century as it turned out. The third paragraph of your colleague Mike Selvey’s report seems to back me up.”
Ian Copestake, meanwhile, writes: “Regarding finding a place for someone in the England side that will not disrupt everything else that works, let’s just make sure Rooney plays somewhere.” Arf.
Hi @DanLucas86 I'd move Root up or bring in Sam Robson at 3. The old 3 openers move Eng r periodically fond of.
— Wonny Jalsh (@wonnyjalsh) June 9, 2016
Borthwick's defo got a shout
On Radiohead
“On Radiohead,” writes Pete Salmon, “basically you’ve not lived until you’ve heard Tel Aviv’s Shefita sing Karma Police, featuring middle eastern pecussion and an oud. Sounds particularly sinister at 3-74 on a perfect batting track... This what you’ll get, if you mess with us... Especially chilling for Compdog – ‘I’ve given all I can, it’s not enough’. And ‘for a minute there, I lost myself’.”
And let's not forget @DanLucas86 that Radiohead own the best cover of a Bond theme. Nobody does it better https://t.co/VHyK1bhDCj
— Lee Burman (@Burmanski) June 9, 2016
My favourite version of Creep was sung by a tenor playing Cinderella’s teddy bear in an opera company’s Christmas show @DanLucas86 Bizarre!
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) June 9, 2016
Radiohead were run close for best performance by Brian Wilson. Pet Sounds in full followed by a bunch of Beach Boys hits, closing with California Girls, I Get Around, Help Me Rhonda, Surfin’ USA and Fun Fun Fun.
A few questions for you to ponder over lunch:
- If, as expected, England put the Compdog to sleep, then who bats at three? Do you move Hales now he’s finally settling? Move up Vince (not many runs himself) or Root (settled at four)? Bring in Borthwick (no one seems convinced) or Bell-Drummond (plays in division two)?
- Hales looks to have learnt to get through the new ball now, but averages 11.66 against spin in Tests. Is this a worry with a tour to India coming up?
- Is it wrong to hold a grudge against Thorpe for keeping David Sales out the England team?
Also if you get an hour or so to spare, the new Freelance Cricket Club podcast from my friends and yours, Vish and Will, is excellent stuff. This week features Izzy Westbury and Andrew Fidel Fernando.
Want to get in touch? For the next hour and a half or so, email me here or tweet me here.
Thanks Rob. Yes, “fresh” is certainly not the right word. Flying back on Monday I felt as wobbly as, well as England’s batsmen looked in the second hour of that session. Glorious sunshine, a deck flatter than Ian Brown and yet here they are, 74-3; the way Hales and Cook rolled along earlier you’d have thought 100-1 would have been more in line with these conditions. Sri Lanka deserve credit for their disciplined bowling post-drinks, but all three batsmen got out to poor shots.
Let’s all just pretend we’re back in Barcelona, yeah? And that we’re getting an impromptu version of this again.
Lunch
28th over: England 74-3 (Cook 48, Vince 3) Pradeep replaces Herath for the last over before lunch, and slips one past Vince’s outside edge. It’s been Sri Lanka’s morning, NQAT, although England will still expect their strokemakers to cash in as the day progresses. And Alastair Cook is nailed-on for a century.
Dan Lucas, fresh from Primavera back from Primavera, will be with you after lunch. Thanks for your company, O’ll leave you with this open love letter from Gareth Fitzgerald.
“Here’s a mismanaged 90’s XI: Stewart, Lathwell, Gower, Smith, Hick, Ramprakash, Russell, Lewis, Malcolm, Headley, Tufnell. (Stewart for wasting a world-class opener by giving him the gloves – he still had a terrific career.) Ramprakash was easily my favourite of that bunch. I played each tortured ball of his tortured career. I had sleepless nights if he was unbeaten overnight. That initial promising 27 supporting Gooch at Headingley 91. Being dropped for Dermot Reeve in New Zealand showed up after showing promise against Ambrose, Walsh etc. The golden duck on recall v Pakistan, lbw sweeping Mushtaq Ahmed. The 64 in 93, the pair at Lord’s, the exquisite torture of 50 minutes with no scoring shot in SA 95-96, the joyous hundred in Barbados, and my personal Ramps mismanagement favourite – making him into a makeshift opener in 2000.”
27th over: England 74-3 (Cook 48, Vince 3) England had a brilliant first hour, but since drinks they have scored 20 for three in 13 overs. Mathews started it with all those dot balls. Vince gets off the mark with a fine clip through midwicket for three. “Tofu curry?!!” sniffs Thomas Hurles of the Lord’s menu. “This would never have happened on Mike Gatting’s watch.”
16th over: England 51-0 (Cook 32, Hales 18) England’s tactics have been really good this morning; they have achieved their main purpose, seeing off the new ball, while putting away the bad balls sufficiently to be scoring at three an over. It’s going to be a long day for Sri Lanka, especially if Jonny Bairstow gets in after tea.
“Re: Over 11 there is no “suppose” about it, says Chris Goater. “England didn’t win a five-Test series in the 90s until 1998, if memory serves. If that isn’t “mostly terrible” I don’t know what is. And as for Thorpe, his career average would certainly have touched 50 if he had been managed throughout his career the way he was in the last few years, when he averaged over 56. Let’s not forget he also averaged 49 against Australia – not many can equal that.”
He averaged 46 didn’t he? Anyway, look who they played those five-Test series against. The 2-2 draw in 1991 against the West Indies, for example, was as worthy an achievement as the 2005 Ashes win.
WICKET! England 71-3 (Root LBW b Lakmal 3)
I think Root’s in trouble here. It was really full, and Root fell over towards the off side as he tried to flick it through midwicket. It’s surely hitting the stumps, but will it be umpire’s call? No, that’s out! A huge wicket for Sri Lanka just before lunch, and finally a successful review!
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SRI LANKA REVIEW: England 71-2 (Root not out 3)
Lakmal has a big shout for LBW turned down against Root, who whipped around a full delivery. Sri Lanka have reviewed it. This will be close.
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26th over: England 71-2 (Cook 47, Root 3) Root has started as busily as ever, trying to score from every ball,. but the excellence of Herath’s over keeps him to just a single from the last ball.
“One for your 80s vs 90s debate,” says Chris Goater. “If you had to choose, who would you rather have in your side – Gower or Thorpe?” Oof, that’s a question. I think it’d have to be Gower. Sod the boring stuff like runs and victories; you couldn’t turn down a chance to watch him bat. And I do think he was a fractionally better player.
25th over: England 69-2 (Cook 47, Root 2) The new batsman is Joe Root. He averages 72 in Lord’s, the highest in history among those who have played 10 Test innings here.
“I agree with Mac Millings (not a sentence you want to be typing too regularly) that a batsmen might average a high proportion of their team’s runs where he’s clearly the best of them,” says David Hopkins. “Seamlessly bringing two discussions together, it’s surprising that Mike Atherton doesn’t feature on that list - I remember a time in the early 90s when it seemed like England’s innings was more or less done as soon as he was out.” A case in point: his first-baller in the second innings here.
WICKET! England 67-2 (Compton c Chandimal b Lakmal 1)
Ach. Nick Compton has gone, caught behind for one. It was very full and wide of off stump from Lakmal, a good delivery to a new batsman, and Compton snicked a belated drive through to the keeper. As Nasser says on Sky, he may have had the short ball in mind because he was really slow to get forward. He now has one innings left to save his Test career. Some things aren’t meant to be.
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24th over: England 62-1 (Cook 42, Compton 1) Herath, the last survivor of Test cricket in the 1990s, has settled straight away into a nice groove, varying his flight and pace. He is still, even with 300 wickets, such an underrated bowlers.
“England had enough good players in the 90s to have a good side, and did actually get some good results,” says Steve Hudson. “There was hope, at least.The 80s were the real horror show. A few greats – Botham, Gooch, Gower especially, but a lot of incredibly poor players, incompetent selectors, a general lack of bottle and a dodgy team work ethic meant a decade of terrible performances, relieved only occasionally (1981, 1985 and 1986/7) by meeting an Australian side even more useless than we were.”
23rd over: England 61-1 (Cook 41, Compton 1) Lakmal is warned for running on the pitch, and then a misfield at extra cover gives Cook three. He looks in complete control.
It's almost Lunch time for the players, and this is what they're preparing to feast on! What would you have? pic.twitter.com/Sb8awEQ3Hc
— Lord's Ground (@HomeOfCricket) June 9, 2016
They’ve forgotten the Monster Munch, again.
22nd over: England 58-1 (Cook 38, Compton 1) Compton gets off the mark with a tight single to mid-off. What a way to end a Test career that would have been. The throw hit the stumps but he was comfortably home. I really hope he succeeds today, though I fear I am in a minority.
“England in the 1990s: Matches played, 107. Matches won 26,” says Tom Appleyard. “Series played 28. Series won 8, of which the only good wins were India and SA in England in 1990 and 1998 respectively. The rest were NZ and Sri Lanka, who were both poor in the 90s. I think that is fairly backs up the ‘mostly terrible’ claim.”
You’re not looking at the whole pie, Tom. For example, when England won in NZ in 1991-92, I think it was the first series NZ had lost at home for a decade. You also have to consider the circumstances in which they played - no central contracts, inconsistency of selection, the quality of the opposition, especially the fast bowling. England were one of the weaker Test sides in the 1990s, certainly, and a qualified failure, but mostly terrible? Nah.
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21st over: England 56-1 (Cook 37, Compton 0) Mahela Jayawardene makes the point that Mathews deserves an assist some credit for that wicket – all those dot balls to Hales led to that impatient slog sweep. Mathews continues, now bowling to Cook, and that’s his fourth maiden out of four.
“Devon Malcolm is my favourite mismanaged 90s player,” says Tom Van der Gucht. “There’s a lot to select from though...”
Jazzer Fleming. England would have won the 1999 World Cup if they’d picked him. Fact.
20th over: England 56-1 (Cook 37, Compton 0) “You asked for it,” says Simon Rhoades, serenely unbuckling his belt. “I was having the discussion about England’s medium-term no.3 just the other day, so I’m glad you brought it up. The obvious solution is Durham’s current first drop Scott Borthwick, who is 2nd in the current division one averages behind Jonny B (9 innings at 82 with 3 tons) and smashed 188* against Nottinghamshire a couple of weeks ago. Not only that, he weighed in with 5/79 with his leggies.
“With him, Woakes, Stokes, Ali and Broad in the side you could make a defensible claim to be fielding 5 contenders with a legitimate claim to allrounder status (Broad, Stokes and Ali currently come in at positions 3, 5 and 6 on the ICC test all-rounder list as of today). As a Saffer who grew fat and happy looking at teamsheets with the names Kallis, Pollock and Klusener on them, this would make me sad, which is probably a good enough reason for doing it.”
On that subject: look at this, the shortest tail ever, the antonym of the Mullally-Tufnell-Giddins fiasco.
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WICKET! England 56-1 (Hales c Mathews b Herath 18)
It’s time for Rangana Herath. If it seams, it spins! But it hasn’t seamed, Robert. Who cares, because it’s spinning and Hales is out! He was tempted by the flight and launched into a wild mow at Herath’s fourth ball, which turned to take the edge on its way to Mathews at slip. A poor shot from Hales, and it’s Compdog O’Clock.
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19th over: England 55-0 (Cook 36, Hales 18) Mathews dibbly-dobblies one back into Hales, prompting a biggish LBW appeal. There was an inside edge. Another maiden. This is good stuff from Mathews, who has restored order with his oldfangled virtues of line and length. His figures are 3-3-0-0. Thanks for all your emails by the way; I have left tens of unread ones that I am trying to get through between the numbing pangs of self-loathing overs.
“Robbest,” says Mac Millings. “Neil Withers’s plan to rate batsmen by their average percentage of runs scored in the match is interesting, but surely, rather than ironing out something like playing against weaker teams, might it not simply tell us who were the best players playing *for* weaker teams? Andy Flower springs to mind. I wish I had something constructive or funny to add, but that’s not really my thing. I voted Bexleyheath, though.”
18th over: England 55-0 (Cook 36, Hales 18) The maidens almost lead to a wicket when Cook misses an attempted cut at Pradeep, but he breaks the sequence of dots next ball with a lovely boundary through extra-cover. He has double Hales’ score, although he has faced 64 deliveries to Hales’ 44. Deal with it.
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17th over: England 51-0 (Cook 32, Hales 18) Mathews continue his New Zealand 1992 tribute act, wobbling 70-mph deliveries outside off stump. Hales doesn’t go there, so it’s a third consecutive maiden.
“Even as a died in the wool Lancashire supporter, Thorpe is my all time favourite cricketer bar none (my McCague, if you will),” says Phil Sawyer. “Partly it was the fact that in full flow he was the nearest thing we had to a Lara. Partly it was the fact that on days when it wasn’t flowing he was the very definition of nuggety nurdling. But mostly it was that chin waggle he did in between every single delivery.”
He was actually inspired by Lara. On that 1993-94 tour, he became obsessed with Lara’s backlift, and took it upon himself to change the way he played - not just technically, but also to, as he put it, “not die wondering”. Hence those exhilarating counter-attacks that defined the first part of his career up to 2001.
15th over: England 51-0 (Cook 32, Hales 18) “There’s no way Pradeep is bowling at 90mph,” says Dan Lucas to my right. The speedgun has at least improved in the last 20 years: at Lord’s in 1996, possibly the first time it was used in England, Mark Ealham was regularly faster than Wasim Akram.
Another express paceman, Angelo Mathews, brings himself into the attack and bowls a maiden to Hales. Talking of which. “Do we take it then that the keeper is the one all-rounder in the Sri Lankan team?” asks Graham O’Reilly. “Would Mathews be happy with that ? And if England is 5-3-3 you’re turning, I suppose, Woakes into an all-rounder. Really?”
Graham, was it not Aristotle who told us: tactics are in the eye of the beholder?
14th over: England 51-0 (Cook 32, Hales 18) “I agree with you re Thorpey, as with him, Athers, Stewie and Goughie you had all the major bases covered (opener, middle-order player, wk-batsman and strike bowler),” says Graeme Thorn, “but you had to find 7 others to fill the remainder.”
At different stages they had Gower, Gooch, Smith, Hussain, Russell, Fraser, Caddick, Tufnell, Malcolm, Headley and loads of others. It’s a brilliant and complicated story – somebody should write a book on it – but it bugs me when my childhood heroes are sacrificed on the altar of banter. Especially by those who then tell you how great the 1980s were for English cricket.
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13th over: England 51-0 (Cook 32, Hales 18) England’s V this morning has been between backward square and midwicket. When Eranga is too straight again, Cook flicks him firmly for four to bring up the first fifty opening partnership of the series.
12th over: England 46-0 (Cook 27, Hales 18) After Cook pushes Pradeep down the ground for four – too straight again – Chandimal goes up for a catch down the leg side. Cook has been out like that a few times, and Chandimal is keen to review, but Mathews overrules him. Rightly so; it hit the pad.
“I’ve given some quick thought to Neil Withers’ question and run a query in my Test cricket database,” writes Dan Seppings. “Please tell me that’s not undermined my hipster credentials. Anyway, rather surprisingly, Don Bradman comes out top with a career percentage of 24.3% of Australia’s runs whilst batting. The full top ten (minimum: 20 Test innings) is:
D G Bradman (24.3%), G A Headley (21.4%), B C Lara (18.9%), L Hutton (18.1%), M W Goodwin (18.1%), K S Duleepsinhji (17.9%), J B Hobbs (17.9%), A D Nourse (17.8%), C A G Russell (17.6%), E D C Weekes (17.4%)
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11th over: England 37-0 (Cook 22, Hales 14) “As we are waxing lyrical about Graham Thorpe, I would like to reiterate just how good he was to those who never saw him play,” says Tom Appleyard. “He was the absolute rock of a mostly terrible Test cricket team, and often it was he alone who made sure we were merely disgraced, rather than humiliated, in the 1990s. I really do think that others get spoken about far more for their occasional, more eye-catching, achievements. Thorpe in this side would likely have averaged close to 50 and probably would have been better managed and not suffered from severe back knack. Now there’s a whole morning’s worth of supposition for you.
England were mostly terrible in the 1990s? I’m not having that. On Thorpe I agree. He was selfless, a magnificent counter-attacker, superb against pace and spin, and hard as hell; an England-born Australian. What was it Nasser called him, “the little genius in the corner”?
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10th over: England 35-0 (Cook 21, Hales 14) The lively Nuwan Pradeep comes on at the Pavilion End. There’s a hush around Lord’s, though that will change once the sun and gin have done their thing. Cook flicks a pair of twos to leg. Might as well start putting his name on the honours board. It’s all a bit low-key, so here’s a question: who is England’s medium-term No3 and why?
“Does your formation system not allow for the remote possibility of a Test team selecting a (gasp!) specialist wicket keeper?” says George Rogers.
Oh that’ll never happen, but if it does you can just add a fourth bit. The categories are: batsmen, allrounders, bowlers, specialist keepers and McCague.
9th over: England 31-0 (Cook 17, Hales 14) Too straight from Eranga, and Hales thumps him through square leg for four. England have been good so far at waiting for the bad ball.
“I’m a mathematician,” says Ant Newman, unwittingly sharing his go-to chat-up line. “If you point me in the direction of an open source database of all historical Test match statistics, I can develop this extra average column for Neil (and all mankind) with ease.”
Give me a second, I’ll send it to you at lunch.
Updated
8th over: England 27-0 (Cook 17, Hales 10) England have barely played a shot, and they are scoring at nearly four an over. Seriously, four an over on the first morning of a Test match. What happened to this thing?
“I always thought dropping Thorpe from the 2005 Ashes was one of the cruellest selection decisions I’d ever seen,” says Kevin Wilson. “The guy was a rock, the one guy you could count on with the bat over that previous decade. OK, so it was proven right as Pietersen’s 158 sealed the Ashes, but couldn’t we have left Bell behind (even with a Test average of 260-odd or whatever it was). Thorpe deserved better.”
I know what you mean, and with hindsight it’s easy to say he should have played ahead of Bell. But he probably wasn’t a No4 at that stage, and nor was Pietersen, so I can understand why they did it. And if they hadn’t, England wouldn’t have won the Ashes. Mind you, imagine Thorpe V1.0 at No4 instead of Bell. We’d have won 5-0!
7th over: England 27-0 (Cook 17, Hales 10) There’s enough swing to keep the Sri Lankan bowlers interested, and Cook drags an attempted drive onto the pads. Then Hales is beaten by a jaffa from Eranga that jags sharply off the seam.
“Hi Rob,” says Peter Salmon. “I note that England actually plays seven tests this summer – four against Pakistan. So they could win 7-0. Does this affect the rankings? I ask as an Australian.”
I think 6-0/7-0 makes no difference in the short term, as England need Sri Lanka to avoid defeat at home to Australia. I’d have to double check though. Or you can, here.
6th over: England 26-0 (Cook 16, Hales 9) A tempting outswinger from Lakmal is driven authoritatively for four by Hales, who has looked confident thus far. For different reasons, Cook, Hales, Compton and Root will all fancy their chances of a cathartic century today.
“I’m off sick today so can indulge in emails to the OBO,” writes Simon Gates PhD, Professor of Clinical Trials, Warwick Clinical Trials Unit, University of Warwick, Coventry CV4 7AL. “Gary Naylor’s email prompts me to ask: What are those numbers after the team names? (5-3-3 and 6-1-4). Are they an innovation or have they always been there and I’ve failed to notice them? Do they convey any useful information?”
Batsman-allrounders-bowlers. Psuedo nonsense, I know, but it won’t be long, so I might as well get in first.
5th over: England 22-0 (Cook 16, Hales 5) I meant to say in the Pr00mble: England could be top of the Test rankings by the end of August. If they win this summer’s Test series by a combined score of 6-0 (unlikely but hardly beyond the realms) and if Australia fail to win their three-Test series in Sri Lanka (unlikely but etc, especially if it’s played on dustbowls), England will be No1 before the school holidays are over.
Back in the real world, Cook works consecutive deliveries from Eranga through square leg for four and two. It already feels like he’s closing in on a century. He’s on 16.
4th over: England 13-0 (Cook 10, Hales 3) Lakmal beats Hales with a delicious - edible, even - outswinger. Perfect new-ball bowling. Later in the over he goes around the wicket to skid one past Cook’s forward lunge. Well bowled again.
“The 2004 whitewashes involved an England team in a state of redevelopment and evolution on their way to hitting the winning formula for the ashes in 2005,” writes Tom Van der Gucht. “Looking at the averages from the series, it involved an interesting mix of players, including: those nearing the end of their careers (Butcher, Hussain, Thorpe); some who never enjoyed a full Test career (Saggers and Key); whilst only Bell and Strauss from the debutants (my spell check keeps changing this to Debutantes, which is a little harsh on Bell) went on to long international careers. What I’m trying to say in a round about and rambling way, is come the next Ashes series, which of today’s team will still be standing? Who will fall by the wayside? And will any of them have retired?”
Nobody has a clue, except the all-seeing, all-knowing Mother Cricket. I would say the only certs for the Ashes, fitness permitting, are Cook, Root, Stokes and Broad. I have a feeling Moeen might have drifted away by then, though I hope not. Anderson should be there but you just never know with ageing quicks.
3rd over: England 10-0 (Cook 8, Hales 2) Cook isn’t far away from another record: he needs 160 to overtake Sunil Gavaskar as the highest-scoring opener in Test cricket. No opener has made 10,000 Test runs. Yet. Cook moves to within 156 of Gavaskar by flicking Eranga to fine leg. There were optimism-defining shouts of catch but it was completely safe.
“Hello Rob,” says Joe Hind. In your 0957 update you transposed an 0 for an o. In the word ‘to’. I expect this kind of sloppy journalism post-Brexit, when you no longer have to worry about Europeans stealing your job, but not before, when you still do. Just because they are less than a centimeter apart (half an inch in our soon-to-be-mandatory-once-again imperial measurements) does not excuse this. How can we possibly rely on your cricket updates now? Yours forever doubtingly. J0e”
Never mind that silly Brexit nonsense. Vote Bexleyheath I tell you!
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 3, Hales 1) Suranga Lakmal, armed with a Test bowling average of 49, shares the new ball. He’s better than that. Hales gets off the mark, and then Cook misses an ugly angled-bat slap. That, as Beefy says on Sky, could easily have been dragged onto the stumps. This pitch isn’t the liveliest.
“On an unusually serious note for me, could I start the day with an appeal?” says Phil Sawyer. “Namely, an appeal on behalf of Dog A.I.D by Professor Elemental. This is a cause close to my heart as the Maddy mentioned is a close friend and has been struggling with MS for many years, and I’ve seen the difference Jake has made to her life. But the waiting list to get dogs onto the programme is very long due to the lack of available trainers, so they desperately need more funds to expand their services. So I’m making an appeal to OBOers because they’re all such lovely people. And may I say their hair is looking particularly nice this morning.”
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1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Hales 0) Shaminda Eranga is going to open the bowling. This might be a slippery first hour for England, but there are hundreds of runs to be had after that. Cook works the third ball off his pads for two to move within 9956 of reaching 20,000. The fifth ball bounces twice on its way to the keeper Chandimal. The Sri Lankan seamers are going to sleep well tonight.
“Good to see the Lankans going in with a 6-1-4 formation,” says Gary Naylor, “having played the first half of this series in an unorthodox 0-0-0.
The most important thing you will do, if you live to 114... is to vote Bexleyheath. Don’t ask questions, just do it. Choose life. Choose Bexleyheath.
An email!
“Morning Rob,” says Neil Withers. “I believe in statgasms – but could one of your readers with (a lot!) more time on their hands try something out for me: rate batsmen by their average percentage of runs scored in the match? Doing it that way rather than by just average would iron out a few things: playing against weaker teams and on easier pitches, for example. And I guess it would also be more applicable for comparing across the eons. Yes, I realise it’s an almost impossible task, but you’ve got millions thousands hundreds a few readers with time on their hands!”
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This is a terrific piece, and worth five minutes of your time before the start of play
Players need balance in life more than ever via @thetimes https://t.co/DkLLIHNsEA
— Mike atherton (@Athersmike) June 9, 2016
Team news
England are unchanged; Sri Lanka bring in Kusal Perera for Milinda Siriwardana.
England (5-3-3) Cook (capt), Hales, Compton, Root, Vince, Bairstow (wk), Moeen, Woakes, Broad, Finn, Anderson.
Sri Lanka (6-1-4) Karunaratne, Silva, Mendis, Chandimal (wk), Mathews (capt), Thirimanne, Perera, Herath, Lakmal, Eranga, Pradeep.
England win the toss and will bat first
It’s a lovely day at Lord’s, and Angelo Mathews would have batted as well. England usually score 500 against Sri Lanka at Lord’s, and they have a decent chance of doing so here.
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Alex Hales wringing his hand in pain after putting down a slip catch in practice here at Lord's...
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) June 9, 2016
Preamble
Morning. This may have been a routine series victory for England, but a 3-0 whitewash would not be an everyday achievement. Wouldn’t even be an everydecade achievement. Since they beat New Zealand 3-0 in 1978, England have managed only three whitewashes* – and two of those were in one year, back in the mullet summer of 2004. We all had one; don’t pretend you didn’t.
To put that in context, only 12.47 per cent of people admit to having a mullet at some time in their li Australia have managed 17 whitewashes in the same period. England don’t traditionally do ruthless, but they should close the gap t0 17-4 in the next few days.
As always with this thing of ours, the little details are as interesting as the big picture. Nick Compton and Steven Finn, on their home ground, need runs and wickets to avert a phone call from James Whitaker, while Joe Root – who might as well start every innings on 50 not out – wants to improve his modest conversation rate of 31 per cent.
And Jimmy Anderson, who took 18 wickets at 7.72 in the first two Tests, will hope to complete a Lohmannesque series - and become the first England bowler in almost 50 years to average less than 10 in a series of three matches or more. Lots to play for then, especially if you believe in statgasms.
* In series of three Tests or more. No point counting two-Test series, and no point arguing that we should.
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