Here’s Mike Selvey’s report on the first day’s action:
So that’s no good, is it? Just 53 overs bowled on the first day of what we here in the UK call summer. The players ambled off at teatime, and the rain began to fall and, well, they never came back. The TV pictures show that it’s heavier now than at any stage yet.
In those 53 overs, we had some cracking cricket. Cook and Hales put on 49 for the first wicket before Cook chased a wild one, falling with 9,980 Test runs to his name. Compton and Root both nicked off for nothing shortly afterwards. James Vince and Ben Stokes came in and briefly looked great, then got out. All the while Sri Lanka had bowled well, with debutant Dusan Shanaka picking up the first three wickets.
All the while, Alex Hales had stood firm, and when Jonny Bairstow joined him, the Sri Lankans rather lost their way. Bairstow, particularly, counter-attacked, and the pair both moved past, playing very nicely indeed. They had shared 88 by the close, and leave the game very well-poised.
We’ve had a great time on the OBO so thank you kindly for joining us, and I can only apologise that we haven’t had more cricket to tell you about. In the absence of that, we’ve discussed zebras (mainly Simon) and extra-terrestrials (mainly Will), and we have lots of lovely/silly emails in our inboxes (sorry if I haven’t got to yours and do keep sending them!), but I thought this would be a nice one to sign off with, from Stephen Nicholson:
“Somewhere in the universe,” he writes, “there are zebras playing cricket. And commentating on it. And making jokes about humans.”
What a scary thought indeed.
Anyway, we here at the Guardian are lucky enough to have Mike Selvey, Ali Martin and Vic Marks at Headingley, so there will be plenty of stuff for you to read in the next few hours/minutes/days. Enjoy. The OBO will be back before play tomorrow, when we can only hope the weather is rather better! Ciao for now.
And bad news from Headingley, where play has officially been abandoned.
Play officially abandoned.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 19, 2016
In a brief interlude from chatting about extra-terrestrials, we mentioned a game between the refugee council and MCC. I’ve had a couple of nice emails on a lovely topic:
From Bear (Ian or Susan Castle) in Purley: “The Refugee Cricket Project v MCC is being played at the Cricket for Change ground in Plough Lane, home of the my club, Trinity Oxley CC (club motto, ‘MAGNUM TUUM PECTUS’). Great to see some decent cricketers playing there for a change!” This was the very place I played (very badly) against them a few years ago.
Nick writes from further afield, and has a rather uplifting story:
You might be interested to know,” he writes, “that Ekenäs Cricket Club here in Finland is also involved in refugee (or, to be specific, asylum seeker) cricket. 25 km from Ekenäs are a bunch of asylum seekers from India, Pakistan, Iraq and Afghanistan awaiting their asylum decisions in a state of general boredom in the middle of the forest. Our club has donated some wickets, bats and balls to them and visited them last week for a quick game. Turns out several of them are really darn good, and we’re hoping they can join our squad for some games this summer. Cricket: the great unifier!”
Indeed. Thank you kindly for the email,
Things from Headingley, where any more play is looking increasingly like a pipedream:
Official attendance today at Headingley of 9436. Although more like 9 now. #ENGvSL
— Charlie Reynolds (@cwjreynolds) May 19, 2016
I have so many emails about this very enjoyable extra-terrestrial cricket chat we’ve been having. Will try to pick through them all. This is a very genuine question, by the way, why do you all email so much more when the rain comes?! I guess you’re all bored..
Our first Shane Watson gag of this conversation, by the way! It was only a matter of time...
@willis_macp ET as an umpire would work well until Shane Watson asks for an LBW review, and he has to phone home....
— John Edwards (@Anorak_CA) May 19, 2016
Anyway, David Hopkins is riffing on a hot cricketing topic: “I also get confused with this infinite possibilities thing?” he writes, aware of how lost I am. “Does it really mean infinite, or is there some boundaries of credibility? For instance, is the universe big enough for there somewhere to be someone who is interested in the outcome of a Super Series?” Very good...
Meanwhile, the idea of the Storm Trooper gear as cricket stash has proved a hot topic in my inbox. George Browne raises a valid point, “Don’t think I’d fancy diving in the field in a StormTrooper’s uniform!” he says. Doubt there’d be many quick singles, either...
Nick Watts has a good point, and he’s made it well. He says (perhaps speaking from experience?!) a Storm Trooper outfit “apparently nips under the arms and at top of thighs. Worth noting before it’s taken up as official kit.”
Some other county news, by the way. Good news for Notts fans, as Jake Ball is released to play for them at Hampshire on Sunday. I’ll be there for the Guardian.
The ECB have confirmed that #WelbeckWizard Jake Ball will be released to face Hampshire: https://t.co/OIfGy5IlDC pic.twitter.com/ZTZwxhTiLr
— Nottinghamshire CCC (@TrentBridge) May 19, 2016
This damned rain just will not stop. The first day of the summer? How rude is that?
Fans of county cricket will know that the T20 Blast starts tomorrow so, should the weather stay away, you’ll be able to watch and listen to cricket for about 11 hours straight tomorrow, as Essex are playing Surrey when the Test concludes. I have this weird thing for batting vines (the noise, I think) so was left salivating when Surrey tweeted this vid of Jason Roy practicing his range-hitting. The bloke is a freak. Go on, go buy yourself a ticket to watch the guy bat.
Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot and shot @JasonRoy20 @NatWestT20Blast - middled just from the noise https://t.co/rLaQ02CToI
— Surrey Cricket (@surreycricket) May 19, 2016
Folk have also been in touch about Simon Burnton’s excellent ET-the-umpire idea.
Andrew Benton in Beijing writes, with another Douglas Adams reference: “Smart thinking from Simon, but wouldn’t the chances of ET umpiring would probably be the same. Let’s build a new world with more cricket in it......where is Slartibartfast when you need him?”
Sriram Padmanabhan from New Yorks is here with a funny! “Apropos the suggestion about ET umpires,” he says, “I think we already have them. Now that we have a third umpire to rule on LBWs, stumpings and run-outs these days, the two umpires on the ground are restricted to signalling extras. Since they are on the ground itself, as opposed to a small room with a TV in it, they could justifiably be called the Extra-Terrestrial umpires.” Oh dear. Appropriately, he signs off with, “I’ll show myself out.”
Lord Selvey’s question of Hawking has brought some responses, both negative and positive.
David Keech feels so strongly that his subject line reads: Selvey’s got it so wrong! He goes on... “Also watched the Steven Hawkins black hole episode of “Genius” last night. It was a visual representation of Einstein’s theory of general relatively. The part Selvey’s referring to is the complete proof that time travel back in time is not even theoretically possible, whereas time travel into the future is, and happens every time we climb a mountain. Black holes cause a curvature of the space-time continuum. So Selvey’s idea of him existing past, present and future all at the same time is dead wrong. Made for a fun contribution though.”
This, from Emma and David Clark, who are also questioning our man Robbo, who is bored in France. They are very much Team Selve: “How does your French correspondent KNOW that Messrs Hales and Bairstow are playing today? Lord Selvey has already explained that they may in fact be figments of their own imagination playing yesterday, today and tomorrow. I hope this settles the question.
Juliet Harris has seen the ET business and is taking all this a step further:
“ET playing cricket – thoughts turn to a fictional XI made up of film characters,” she writes. “’Run’ Forest Gump surely a good opener, although would he be better suited to 20/20? The Wolf from Pulp Fiction would be handy for Reviews/appeals to the Umpire – ‘Good afternoon, Sir. Now, it’s like this – this ball, well it’s obviously travelling off stump. All we need to do now is call it not out. That way, we all get what we want – ET gets to bowl again, Forest gets to run again, nobody need get upset. Here, lemme hold that jumper for you for a bit. Now that’s better, isn’t it? You take care now, bye-bye’”
As I said earlier, England have already picked the Weasley twins in their lower middle order.
If it’s raining in Bermuda, you can be pretty certain it’s raining in Leeds... Hope you guys get on tonight.
@willis_macp Scene from Bermuda today - never had a game rained off. Big Associates v Fine Leg Byes game tonight... pic.twitter.com/ZIV375iCf3
— Mike Penrose (@mpenrose1973) May 19, 2016
Appropriately, the soundtrack to Sky’s T20 Blast advert is Space Odyssey, which for no apparent reason I’ve just had massive difficulty spelling.
Iain Gray is here with some thoughts. “That’s the problem with infinity,” he muses, “it’s just so darn big. Surely if the universe is infinite, then there will be an infinite number of ETs playing an infinite number of cricket matches against Sri Lanka right at this moment, and most ridiculously of all, one of them will be called Ian Ronald Bell.” I miss Ian Ronald Bell.
Here’s David Wall: “Re: extra-terrestrial cricket, would the Imperial Stormtroopers’ helmets meet new ECB safety regulations? On the plus side, I’ll bet that grass stains just wipe off their armour with a damp cloth, no need for a boil wash.” It’s actually remarkably practical gear, isn’t it?
Meanwhile, both Thomas Pashby and George Browne have gone all Douglas Adams on me. Krikkit!!! How did it take this long?
THE UMPIRES ARE OUTSIDE HAVING A LOOK BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON. Well, we know cricket isn’t. Covers staying on.
Anyway, ET-based emails.
Richard O’Hagan doubts questions about us, not them: “How do we know that we’re not the extra terrestrials and that the original cricketers are not looking down on us from Alpha Centurii, wondering why it is taking the BCCI so long to accept that DRS is a real thing?”
Meanwhile, France has beef with China, as Andrew Robertson (who says he is bored in France) questions Andrew Benton (no idea if he is bored but he’s reading my nonsense from Beijing, so I imagine so): “I’m afraid your Chinese correspondent just hasn’t thought this through,” says Robbo, “Using his very same logic the chances of Alex Hales or Jonny B playing today are also infinitesimally small - yet they are. I would point everybody in the direction of Douglas Adams who covered the intergalactic cricket angle many years ago in ‘Life, The Universe and Everything’”
Any response, Mr Benton?
Simon Burnton, sitting to my right has just said two things to me. Firstly, unfortunately, he showed me the rain radar. Which looks grim. So grim, that we may get no more play today. I mean, look at this.
The second thing he said, though, made me far happier. ET, he says, would surely be an umpire, not a mystery spinner. Glowing fingers, indeed, may be the future of umpiring. I mean, if we are using zing bails, then why not?
The Guardian’s esteemed cricket correspondent Mike Selvey has been in touch from Headingley and the rain break has got him thinking rather deeply: “This universe debate is interesting,” he writes. “ A couple of weeks ago I was trying to get my head around the latest black hole theory advanced by Stephen Hawking, and as far as I can tell, not only is everything past, present and future happening at the same time, but I may actually be a figment of my own imagination. But the last part can be instantly debunked because if it was true, in my own imagination I would have a full head of hair, play guitar like Hendrix and be irresistible to women. So no Nobel prize for you, Stephen.”
Now I’ve only heard good reports about Selve’s guitar playing but, yeah, Hendrix might be pushing it...
John Edwards raises a very good point....
@willis_macp If we thought the BCCI were tough to deal with, I shudder to imagine the Alpha Centauri Cricket Board....
— John Edwards (@Anorak_CA) May 19, 2016
Damn rain. Damn it. I liveblogged a whole day of county cricket from the Oval yesterday, and now this. Keep me company, please.
Sadly, this is the scene at Headingley. We're delayed by rain with England 171-5 ☔️☔️ pic.twitter.com/2l1Jft5fnU
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) May 19, 2016
For those of you who like your county cricket, this might be of interest, especially if you’re a bit Welsh:
South Africa bowler Dale Steyn to join Glamorgan #SSNHQ
— Sky Sports News HQ (@SkySportsNewsHQ) May 19, 2016
By the way, it’s still raining at Headingley, so we will carry on talking about whether extra-terrestrial cricket is currently happening, or will happen, or could happen, or what not.
John Starbuck writes: “Will - you’d probably be safer arguing for extra-terrestrial cricket happening in parallel universes - do the physics, not the maths.” What if I’m rubbish at both?
Paddy Sturdee is bang on: “Maybe cricket’s even better somewhere else in the universe? No, that’s silly isn’t it?” Of course it’s not. We’ve nailed cricket here on earth. Really good game. Anyone disagree?
A couple more ET cricket thoughts. Gary Naylor, first. I’m with Gary, get the lad in. He could learn the doosra, no doubt. Think we would need to hide him in the field, mind.
@willis_macp With those fingers and arms, I reckon ET could be the mystery spinner England needs. Four years qualification period is it?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 19, 2016
Next, Andrew Benton’s been in touch from China again.
“I’d have thought.......” he writes, with all those dots, “If the universe is infinite, then presumably there would be an infinitely small chance that ET was playing cricket, or doing anything, in fact, anywhere in the universe. You’d only be able to put a figure on the probability if you knew how many worlds with how many ETs there are in the universe. And we can’t know that. So the probability of ET playing cricket somewhere else right now is therefore as close to zero as it is possible to get, without actually being zero. So he’s not.”
I’m so out of my depth here.
Now this is lovely, courtesy of Jonathan Collinson. The Refugee Cricket Project (if it is the one I’ve played against) are based in south London and are a team full of Afghan refugees, and they are really, really good at cricket and a lovely bunch. When I played against them, one of them walloped it into that housing estate. Big hitters. Best of luck against the MCC, guys.
Watching our Refugee Cricket Project team take on the MCC today @homeofcricket pic.twitter.com/gNR2jTK5ik
— Refugee Council (@refugeecouncil) May 19, 2016
More ET cricket thoughts, this time from Andrew Robinson: “In an infinite universe (which is a bit of an assumption), anything that can be assigned a probability will have happened of will happen at some point in the future.” Even extra-terrestrial cricket?!
Oh dear. Tea time and the covers are coming on. Not just the big one covering the strip, but the tarpaulin for the rest of the square too. Doesn’t look like it’s pelting it down, but there’s obviously enough “weather about” for the groundsmen to get the thing covered.
Will back in the chair, by the way. I’ll be guiding you through to the close.
David Keech in the US has already been in touch, and he brings with him a fairly deep email. “Here in the USA,” he says, “PBS is showing Hawkins “Genius” series – do you have that in the UK? Last night one episode demonstrated a very high probability of intelligent life somewhere in the universe. I wonder, then, what the probability is that somewhere in a distant gallery ET is playing cricket as we speak? I bet it’s quite high.” Have to say, I’m not so sure. I mean cricket is a game that makes no sense at all. Properly human.
Anyway, if you, like David, want to get in touch with me, you can! I’m at @willis_macp on the Twitters, and will.macpherson.freelance@guardian.co.uk. Come at me.
Updated
TEA: England 171-5 (Hales 71, Bairstow 54)
The day so far can broadly be split into three distinct periods: an opening 20 overs in which the bowling wasn’t great and the batting a little shy; 12 overs of Shanaka-dominated wicket-abdication; and now 20-odd overs of relative free scoring. And in a short while, after some custard creams have been consumed, Will will return (email him here, tweet here) to see what happens next. It’s already been a fine day for somewhat-under-pressure opener Alex Hales, who will be letting out a massive sigh of relief at tea, and can therefore be temporarily renamed Al Exhales. I’ll be back tomorrow. Bye!
53rd over: England 171-5 (Hales 71, Bairstow 54) Herath bowls the last over before tea, in which the batsmen largely concentrate on not getting out in the last over before tea. They each take a single.
52nd over: England 169-5 (Hales 70, Bairstow 53) “From the depths of my memory I think a chimera can best be described as one in which different regions of the body have different genes (As opposed to you and I. Every cell in my body has the same genes as every other cell. More or less),” explains David Acaster. “A most interesting chimera can be produced if a fruit fly embryo is irradiated at the two-cell stage, and the radiation inactivates the Y chromosome in one cell. Half of the fly develops as male and half the fly as female. The boundary is straight down the centre of the fly.” That is the type of behaviour that in my experience directly and inevitably leads to the scientist turning into a hideous superstrength man-creature and flying off to battle Iron Man, or somesuch.
51st over: England 167-5 (Hales 70, Bairstow 51) Hales keeps his foot down, sending the ball motoring along the ground and through the covers for four. Suddenly, 83-5 is as distant a memory as 49-0 was when England were 83-5.
50th over: England 163-5 (Hales 66, Bairstow 51) Bairstow brings up his 50 by diverting the ball to the third man boundary for phwoar. I mean four.
Yes @jbairstow21. He's in 🔥🔥 form. That's a rapid 7th Test half century from 60 balls on his home ground. pic.twitter.com/sdkDKlem1B
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) May 19, 2016
49th over: England 158-5 (Hales 65, Bairstow 47) A six! Bairstow clubs Herath down the ground for the games’ first maximum. Then, more review drama later, the final delivery flicks the pad and goes away for four leg byes.
Bairstow is given out lbw, but survives on review with the ball sliding down leg. Eng 154-5: https://t.co/Tc91BrGEht pic.twitter.com/4P0ES4ZZ0F
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) May 19, 2016
Not out again!
That’s a frivolous review, the ball heading considerably further down the leg side than the last time Sri Lanka thought Bairstow was out.
REVIEW! Is Bairstow out this time?
On this occasion the umpire shook his head, and the fielding side are doing the reviewing. So, what about it now?
48th over: England 148-5 (Hales 65, Bairstow 41) Angelo Mathews brings himself back, and gets to celebrate a wicket, if not, in the end, to actually take one. “So if a zebra is an amalgam of a black horse and a white horse, does that make it a chimera?” ponders Robin Hazlehurst. “Does that explain the photo: someone suggested they should get Chameera to stand in the background, and someone else sort of misunderstood…”
Hawkeye at Headingley set to 'Yorkshire batsman.'
— Samuel Honywill (@SDHoneymonster) May 19, 2016
Updated
It's not out!
The ball was heading an inch or two wide of leg stump, and Bairstow gets his reprieve!
REVIEW! Is Bairstow out here?
Mathews bowls, ball slams against pad and the umpire’s finger goes up, but Bairstow’s not having it. Who’s in the right?
47th over: England 145-5 (Hales 65, Bairstow 39) Umbrellas and hoods go up for the first time. It looks like the rain will start slow and light, so they may try to play through it for a while. Hales smacks Herath past backward point for four and then tries to smash the next ball to cow corner, misses it entirely and only just gets his toe back in time to avoid a stumping.
46th over: England 141-5 (Hales 61, Bairstow 39) Bairstow sends the ball just wide of the man at cover and gets three, and next ball Hales sends the ball just wide of the man at cover and gets two. The man at cover, meanwhile, gets to do lots of diving and running about. A single off the next makes this Hales’s all-time highest Test score. “The trap is now set,” purrs Michael Avery. “For most of this season Yorkshire’s top order has been getting out cheaply so that Young Jonny Bairstow can come in and score a century in a session, glad to see England are doing the same thing.”
45th over: England 133-5 (Hales 58, Bairstow 34) With a Bairstow single the partnership ticks to 50 runs, scored from 75 balls. The opening partnership of 49, by contrast, took 121.
44th over: England 132-5 (Hales 58, Bairstow 33) Chameera bowls. Thinking of Chameera, I can’t help thinking of confusingly-constructed fire-breathing monsters. Definition of chimera from the Macmillan Encyclopedia:
A legendary Greek fire-breathing monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail. After ravaging Lycia she was killed by Bellerophon. The name now applies to any fantastic imaginary creation.
And from the Cambridge Dictionary of Human Biology and Evolution. WARNING: requires understanding of the word “zygote”:
1 Any hybrid structure not commonly found in nature. In chemistry, chimeras are often used as tools to elucidate protein structure and function.
2 An entire organism consisting of amalgamates of cells from more than one zygote; Cf. mosaic. See chimeric twins and freemartin effect.
3 Sometimes used to describe the mistaken attribution of specimens from more than one individual, or even species, to the same individual fossil, as in the case of Piltdown.
43rd over: England 128-5 (Hales 55, Bairstow 32) Shot! Bairstow drives past extra cover, and that is very fine batsmanship. Shanaka pitches the next one up, daring him to drive again; Bairstow leaves it well alone. It is a brief respite; the next ball is pulled through midwicket, though it’s stopped a yard from the rope, for three; Hales takes a single; and Bairstow sends the last past backward point for four more. Twelve off the over.
42nd over: England 116-5 (Hales 54, Bairstow 21) Chameera bangs one in short and wide, and Bairstow has a great heave which succeeds only in sending the ball crashing into the turf about a yard and a half behind him. He eventually gets a single off the last.
Chameera trying to drive batsman back before slipping in a sucker ball. But short too often imo.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 19, 2016
41st over: England 115-5 (Hales 54, Bairstow 20) Hello again! I’ll be here until tea, so until then send me your finest emails here, if you could. Shanaka bowls, and Hales plays at a delivery he should have left well alone, but gets nothing on it and then withdraws his bat exaggeratedly after the ball haz zipped past him, as if he’s the Chelsea mascot and the ball is Steven Gerrard.
40th over: England 113-5 (Hales 52, Bairstow 20) Chameera is continuing and he is going round the wicket and digging it in. Hales gets out the way of one, then pulls hard next ball, but a man in the deep cuts it off. Bairstow takes an off-stump guard and ducks under three. The last ball is at his hip and he just turns it round the corner for four. Got to say, I don’t think England will be too worried about this tactic.
Andrew Benton has been in touch from Beijing. Hello Andrew! He’s got something neat for those of you outside the UK. It’s the link to TMS’s international coverage and you can find it here.
Anyway, that’s drinks, and Simon will take you through til tea, after which I will be back. See you (sort of) then.
39th over: England 108-5 (Hales 51, Bairstow 16) England’s hundred comes up first ball of Shanaka’s over, although not entirely convincingly, as Bairstow flashes hard and it goes for four to a sort of wide-third-man region. He goes for an elaborate whip to leg next ball but can only find mid-on, before absolute nailing a drive through the covers for four runs. The man there gets quite a thick hand on it, but no dice. That was four all the way. Two dots, then a turned two into the legside to finish the over. Ten from it.
I do not like the look of this, but will wait for Lawrence Booth, editor of Wisden, former Guardian man and press box weather expert, to confirm:
Radar suggests rain on the way to Leeds by 4:30ish*
— Charlie Reynolds (@cwjreynolds) May 19, 2016
*@the_topspin yet to confirm pic.twitter.com/QOT0Urp97Y
Hales 50!
38th over: England 98-5 (Hales 51, Bairstow 6) Chameera replaces Pradeep now. First ball, Hales, after defending, shouts one of the most forceful “wait-ons!!!” I’ve ever heard. Spectacular. The bowler just drops a bit short second ball and Hales is all over him, driving strongly off the back foot through point for four. And that’s his 50! Well batted. sir. Forty of them have come in boundaries, and it arrived off his 112th ball. The next three are defended too, with that great bark following them. He ducks under a rubbish bouncer last ball of the over.
Ian Batch isn’t shocked that England are being a bit bobbins. It’s Headingley’s fault, he says. “No surprised that England are tottering at 86/5, they’ve got the worst record at Headingly (only regular Test grounds count) and have lost 5 of their last 7 matches there. They were smashed by NZ there last year and of course Sri Lanka famously won here last time out. Add that to the fact that England have the worst no.3 in Test history (Time for Root to man up and bat 3) a debutant at 5 and questions marks over Hales - although he’s batting well. I’m only gutted that I didn’t lump on Sri Lanka this morning when they won the toss and were 12/1 on the exchanges!!
Updated
37th over: England 94-5 (Hales 47, Bairstow 6) Shanaka is back. What a blooming glorious name that is. He bowls a maiden to Bairstow, who is looking fairly at ease on his home ground. The last is a half-volley that he would have liked to nail through the offside, but scuffs rather. Oh well.
Thoughts, guys? How many does Hales need? I’m saying 47.
@willis_macp So how many do we reckon Hales needs to avoid getting flack for the poor show by the top order?
— Metatone (@Metatone2) May 19, 2016
36th over: England 94-5 (Hales 47, Bairstow 6) Bairstow’s off the mark second ball of Pradeep’s over with a hard punch off the back-foot through the offside. In doing so, he breaks a sequence of three maidens. Hales then pinches a leg-bye into the legside, before Bairstow piccks up an almost identical three through the covers. Oh, that is lovely from Hales, a beautiful drive through mid-off for his ninth boundary. 11 from it.
An email from Lee Smith, a stalwart below the line on the Guardian’s county coverage. He thinks England are going Lanky at the hands of the Lankans. “Just wondered,” he wonders, “if you could confirm the rumour that England are basing themselves in Lancashire this summer? Certain Lanky traits appear to be manifesting themselves. DOOMED.” Always look on the bright side, Lee. That was a good over, eh?
35th over: England 83-5 (Hales 42, Bairstow 0) Rod Tucker, the umpire, has had some new specs brought out between the overs. Bit odd, so Ian Botham makes a joke, and then laughs heartily at it. Eranga bowls six dot balls - otherwise known as a maiden - at Hales, who is working blooming hard. He’s defending with real conviction, which I’m a big fan of.
Adam Hirst klikes what he sees from Hales. “So Alex Hales finally knows what it takes to open for England,” he writes. “You have to scratch around for a few runs all morning while the other end falls apart. The hardest part sometimes is to not scratch your head. Mike Atherton can tell him more.” Hales is, of course, sipping from the poisoned chalice that is Ali Cook’s opening partner. He’s going OK, though.
34th over: England 83-5 (Hales 42, Bairstow 0) Bairstow makes his first ball look a bit of a brute, when in fact it just passes him by outside off. As do both the next two. Eranga digs a bouncer in and he gets under it, before a staunch forward defensive and a l;eave complete a second consecutive maiden.
If you haven’t read this interview with Bairstow by Don McRae yet, then do that. Right now. But keep your hanky close - tears incoming.
33rd over: England 83-5 (Hales 42, Bairstow 0) So one Weasley is replaced by the other as Jonny Bairstow joins Hales, who plays out a maiden from Eranga. Just good bowling this from the Lankans, not giving anything away. Hales leaves everything he can and almost inside edges onto his stumps. Cannons into his pad instead.
I’ve had an email from RomeoRomeoTango, who writes: “Hello Will, would you care for a sandwich? My sister Dolly made them.” I’ve just had one, thanks. Chicken salad, wasn’t bad, but hardly world-class. Oh, you mean the catch....
WICKET! Stokes c Mathews b Pradeep 12 (England 83-5)
32nd over: England 83-5 (Hales 43) On Pradeep rolls, and it’s looking like a quiet over - just a nudge into the legside for one from Hales, when BANG England are five down. Stokes had been squared up a bit by one earlier, but he goes after the last ball of the over, a full one, and drives straight to mid-on, where the skipper takes a low catch. Strange shot that.
Jordan Ball has been in touch on the emails. “This is not what the crowd turned up for,” he writes, “really tragic stuff from England.” Meanwhile, James Walsh knows an attractive right-hander prone to giving it away when he sees one.
@willis_macp Something something Ian Bell
— James Walsh (@jamesofwalsh) May 19, 2016
Updated
31st over: England 82-4 (Hales 42, Stokes 12) So, Sri Lanka are in and amongst the Weasley Twins. Out comes Stokes. His second ball is turned uppishly and powerfully into the legside and - amid cries of catchit! - just evades the man at square leg and runs away for four. The next two bring the same result: there’s a sexy drive down the ground to an overpitches one, then a beautiful back-foot drive when Eranga drops short. 12 off 4. Not mucking about.
WICKET! Vince c Mendis b Eranga 9 (England 70-4)
Just as the commentators were saying those boundaries will settle Vince, he goes hard at a full ball and gets a thick edge to Mendis, who is at a sort-of-fourth-slip-gully position. Straight in. Well bowled.
Updated
30th over: England 70-3 (Hales 42, Vince 9) Anyway, Pradeep continues and is trying all sorts at Hales, who is biding his time. There are a couple of tidy leaves, solid defences, and he ducks under a bouncer. Maiden over.
Very droll, Gary...
@willis_macp "The players are on their way out." It's been a disappointing hour or so, but there's no need for kneejerk reaction like that!
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 19, 2016
29th over: England 70-3 (Hales 42, Vince 9) The new ball pair it is, then. Eranaga preferred to the wicket-taker Shanaka. There’s a bit of nibble, a busy cordon and Vince Vaugh(a)n is in no mood to take risks early in the over. There’s a leave, a solid defence, then another leave. But when Eranga over-pitches, Your James Vinces are straight onto the front foot and nailing him through the covers for a trademark drive. That’s his first boundary. Oh my, after another leave, he’s just sumptuously driven down the ground for four more. Watching Your James Vinces bat makes grown men purr.
Would say it’s a bit early to be making judgements, but the Sri Lankans bowled well this morning, and the grey skies helped.
@willis_macp What's the pitch assessment after 1 session? Will England still grind on to a decent score?
— Metatone (@Metatone2) May 19, 2016
28th over: England 62-3 (Hales 42, Vince 1) Sri Lanka will have enjoyed their lunch, says Mahela Jayawardene. I think the great man is probably right. Anyway, Vince on strike to Pradeep. 15 balls without scoring before the break, he leaves his first, then drives attractively to mid-on for no run. There are then two firm pushes in to the offside, the second of which earns him his first run in Tests! Well done that man. 19 balls it took. Anyway, Hales fires the last ball of the over behind point for four to move to 42. Shot, sir.
John Starbuck’s been in touch: “Where there’s a Will there might be a way,” he writes. I concur. Sounds to me like Simon’s been chatting about zebras before lunch. John goes on: “Horses for courses and all that, speaking of which: collective nouns for zebras are herd, crossing, zeal and cohort. One of those might be an attempt at humour.”
Nice read this, from a contributor to the Guardian’s (excellent) Sport Network.
@willis_macp Blog on the 1984 Test between England and Sri Lanka, as Gower and his men continue to disappoint: https://t.co/MHOfgEn2Y8
— Steve Pye (@1980sSportsBlog) May 19, 2016
The players are on their way out.
Well, hello there. Will here checking into Hotel OBO while Simon gets himself some lunch. That was a cracking little session of Test match cricket, wasn’t it? Having chosen to bowl, Sri Lanka dried up England’s scoring, then earned themselves three wickets: Alastair Cook 20 shy of 10,000 runs in Tests, then Nick Compton and Joe Root for ducks. Alex Hales has looked pretty solid, while debutant James Vince is yet to get off the mark. Dasun Shanaka, Sri Lanka’s debutant who scored a century against Leicestershire last week, was the fifth bowler used, but picked up all three wickets. Some start from the youngster. Another fascinating session awaits.
Lots of chatter about Vince and how like Vaughan he is. Is it just me who thinks of Vince Vaughn every time this tedious trope is wheeled out?
Anyway, please get in touch! My really clumsy email address is will.macpherson.freelance@guardian.co.uk or you can send pithier thoughts on the Twitters @willis_macp.
LUNCH: England 57-3 (Hales 38, Vince 0)
Sri Lanka chose to bowl, with an eye on the grey skies and the green pitch, but never really threatened England. Until, that is, Dasun Shanaka turned up and started mowing down batsmen like a fictional psychopath with a chainsaw and a facemask. Will Macpherson will be here shortly to deal with the first chunk of the afternoon, so it’s perhaps wise to send any emails to him here or tweet him here.
27th over: England 57-3 (Hales 38, Vince 0) Shanaka bowls a wide so wide it has Angelo Mathews at first slip scarpering for safety as Chandimal comes across to collect, and then follows that with one that pitches very slightly less wide but then moves very sharply wider, Mathews actually diving to the floor in terror this time, and Chandimal collects impressively. The over ends with another delivery skewed well wide, but only one of the three is actually signalled by the umpire. A ropey over, that, but he’s probably allowed to be a little overexcited.
26th over: England 56-3 (Hales 38, Vince 0) A bit of pre-prandial spin from Sri Lanka, who will head into lunch with a combination of 24-year-old debutant and 38-year-old veteran, in the shape of Rangana Herath, who starts with a maiden.
25th over: England 56-3 (Hales 38, Vince 0) Shanaka’s success (well, two-thirds of his wickets, anyway) has come from tempting batsmen into driving full deliveries. Here he bowls one shortish and into Hales’s legs, and he works it away for four. Only nine Sri Lankans have taken four or more wickets in their first innings in Test cricket, although it doesn’t seem a very good predictor of long-term success – the top two on that list, Upul Chandana (who took seven) and Kosala Kuruppuarachchi (five), played 18 Tests between them.
24th over: England 52-3 (Hales 34, Vince 0) Hales takes a single off the first, after which Chameera keeps banging them in and Vince keeps swaying out of the way. Apparently (stat I’ve been sent but haven’t checked alert) England have batted first in six of the last seven home Tests against Asian opposition, and scored at least 440 runs every time.
@Simon_Burnton Compton out playing a defensive shot? A zebra never changes it's stripes.
— Brian Cloughley (@briansurgery) May 19, 2016
23rd over: England 51-3 (Hales 32, Vince 0) Boom Shanakalaka!
And so, then, to James Vince. Can England’s debutant steal some thunder from Sri Lanka’s? Well, probably not. Shanaka has bowled three overs, conceded one run and taken three wickets.
WICKET! Root c Silva b Shanaka 0 (England 51-3)
Shanaka does it again! It’s sent in full and just a fraction wide, Root attempts a drive and the ball flies off an edge and straight to Silva at gully. What a debut! Three key wickets, and he hasn’t bowled 15 Test deliveries yet!
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22nd over: England 50-2 (Hales 32, Root 0) Hales gets an early single, and Chameera peppers Root with short balls, which he ignores. Meanwhile, the zebra puns just keep on coming. “Although England will black themselves to whitewash the Sri Lankans, they’ll have to get equus-tomed to pressing home their advantage or they will find themselves ungulating between victory and defeat,” insists Neil Goodall.
Straight out, Compton.
— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) May 19, 2016
21st over: England 49-2 (Hales 31, Root 0) Well.
WICKET! Compton c Thirimanne b Shanaka 0 (England 49-2)
Compton goes for a third-ball duck! He pushes his bat forward, the ball straightens and kisses the edge, and Thirimanne takes a decent, very low catch at first slip.
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WICKET! Cook c Chandimal b Shanaka 16 (England 49-1)
Breakthrough! Alastair Cook’s last three innings against Sri Lanka at Headingley have brought 17, 16 and now 16 runs, as he nicks the first ball of Shanaka’s second ever over of Test cricket and it’s safely caught by Chandimal.
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20th over: England 45-0 (Cook 16, Hales 31) Cook has faced five balls since drinks, scoring one run, compared with Hales’ 26, from which he’s scored 19. He adds four in this over, hacking a high, wide ball between gully and backward point for four.
19th over: England 45-0 (Cook 16, Hales 27) “Just to build on Mike’s point, it’s also worth saying that whenever I’ve seen Hales bat for Nottinghamshire, he always builds his innings slowly at first before letting loose once he’s got his eye in,” writes James Soper. There has certainly been a notable acceleration in the last couple of overs, and even when he was scoring very slowly he didn’t look disconcerted by it. Dasun Shanaka bowls his first ever over in Test cricket, and it brings just a leg bye. This is now Hales’ second highest Test innings, having just overtaken his 26 on debut in Durban.
18th over: England 44-0 (Cook 16, Hales 27) Good bounce for Chameera, who, encouraged, bowls an actual bouncer. Hales scores some runs from the last two deliveries. “I realise you may think the horses wearing onesies thing risks getting out of hand,” writes Dan Smith. He’s not wrong, either. “But it’s the best thing happening to me this morning. I’m in a plane on the runway at Heathrow, 90 minute delay so far, because of a power breakdown in the control tower at Arlanda, Stockholm. So if people would keep on maing up jokes on the hoof, that would do very neighcely.”
17th over: England 41-0 (Cook 16, Hales 24) Hales nails a couple move cover drives, both of which skip away for four, and between them works one just past midwicket for a couple. A further single, when the ball squirms off the shoulder of his bat to backward point, means he single-handedly scored off five Angelo Mathews deliveries more than a third of the runs compiled by both openers off the previous 96.
Those wondering why Hales ' doesn't play his natural game' should realise he is. You get fewer bad balls in Test cricket.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 19, 2016
16th over: England 30-0 (Cook 16, Hales 13) The day’s second bowling change sees the introduction of Dushmantha Chameera. He seems a shade quicker than what we’ve seen so far, and he bothers Hales with a delivery that rears straight into his hip. Both batsmen score a single, which sadly means I can no longer blather on about Hales only scoring fours.
15th over: England 28-0 (Cook 15, Hales 12) Hales opens the over with a boundary, the ball worked through cover for four despite a total lack of foot movement. He continues to score only in fours, and infrequent fours at that. “The question is,” asks Toby Coombes, “will England end up in the quaggamire this morning?” (the quagga, fact fans, is an extinct member of the subgenus hippotigris, and thus a close relative of the zebra (it was also a bit stripy and horsish).
An hour played. An unexpectedly zebra-focused hour. The players break for drinks.
14th over: England 24-0 (Cook 15, Hales 8) A run! England score a run! After 25 consecutive dots, as Cook works the ball square for a couple.
.@Simon_Burnton I've seen savannah eight decent zebra jokes but I've equid for any one better than this
— Mark Nunn (@marqnunn) May 19, 2016
13th over: England 22-0 (Cook 13, Hales 8) The first bowling change of the day/Test/season sees Angelo Mathews give himself the ball, and he produces a third successive maiden for his side. Alex Hales has scored from only 5.13% of all deliveries faced this morning (two of 39).
12th over: England 22-0 (Cook 13, Hales 8) A maiden from Pradeep, and one decorated with a couple of nice balls that move fractionally away from Cook, who doesn’t bite. “I can’t help that by starting the first OBO of the summer with Zebra puns you are making a grevy mistake,” writes Felix Wood. That’s a proper zebra joke, that. One for the zebraphiles.
11th over: England 22-0 (Cook 13, Hales 8) A swish of the bat from Hales, unsuccessfully chasing a full, wide delivery, who’s lucky not to get any bat on it. “I try to make up at least one joke everyday and the new Test series has inspired today’s effort,” writes/warns Dominic Smith. “I’ve just read a book about a bloke who has fantasises about a cricket bat, it’s called ‘50 Shades of Gray Nichols’.”
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10th over: England 22-0 (Cook 13, Hales 8) And now the shot of the day so far, a lovely cover drive from Cook for four, the only runs from Pradeep’s over. An email from Tom Gourd: “My thickly-accented French friend suggests that your picture shows the greatest English batsman of all time standing in front of the greatest Australian batsman of all time: ZeDon ZeBra-dman.” Oh dear, what have I done.
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9th over: England 18-0 (Cook 9, Hales 8) Oooh! A bit of movement here from Eranga, slanted into Hales and then straightening, passing just past the shoulder of the bat. Ball of the day so far. With one ball remaining, Hales had scored off one of the 26 deliveries he’d faced. The final one of this over, though, offers a bit of room for the drive, Hales goes for it, and he edges it perfectly between third slip and gully for four more.
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8th over: England 13-0 (Cook 9, Hales 4) Pradeep bowls a succession of eminently ignorable deliveries, slanted across and well wide of the batsman, which Cook duly ignores. Another proposed caption, from Dan Smith: “OBO followers model outfits for day-night games”
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7th over: England 13-0 (Cook 9, Hales 4) For the first time today someone scores an odd number of runs, Cook getting a single. Meanwhile I’ve just been sent an email crammed with Alastair Cook-related statistical goodness. Here are a few waymarkers he may pass today (all figures correct before start of play) for you to bore your mates with:
- Cook is 83 runs away from becoming only the second man to record 5,000 Test runs in England and Wales (Gooch, 5,917).
- Cook (13,229) needs 102 runs to leapfrog Ian Bell (13,331) into second spot for most runs for England in all formats.
- Cook is 65 runs away from becoming England’s all-time highest run-scorer as Test captain (Atherton – 3815); he’s currently 249 shy from becoming only the eighth man ever to reach 4,000 as a Test skipper.
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6th over: England 12-0 (Cook 8, Hales 4) Hales finally gets off the mark, middling the first ball of the over through midwicket for four. A couple of balls later there’s an lbw appeal that is properly turned down, the ball being on its way down leg side.
Scarcely any new ball movement. Looks a good pitch with bags of runs in it.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 19, 2016
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5th over: England 8-0 (Cook 8, Hales 0) The ball straightens sharply off the seam, and Cook gets the edge of his bat to it, sending the ball squirming gently towards fine leg, where it’s misfielded. “I’m working on a pun about ‘earning their stripes’,” warns Pete Salmon. “I’m not quite there yet, but it’s going to be a zinger.” It’s the anticipation that gets you.
@Simon_Burnton caption: ongoing problems with the Headingley mower call for radical new outfield grazing strategy
— Reuben Powell (@ReubenPowell) May 19, 2016
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4th over: England 6-0 (Cook 6, Hales 0) Just as the third over was almost identical to the first, the fourth is very similar to the second. It is, in other words, a maiden. “I suppose discussing the noise a zebra makes isn’t really as black and white as people think,” writes Matthew Peace. “Thanks very much, tip your waitress.” You and Tim Senior should get together, Matthew, you clearly share a sense of humour.
@Simon_Burnton {Cook loses toss}
— Tim Senior (@timsenior) May 19, 2016
Why the long face?
Because I'm a zebra.
{pause for laughs}
Ok. I'll go now.
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3rd over: England 6-0 (Cook 6, Hales 0) Once again, Cook scores from the final ball of the over, which he works off his pads and into the leg side. “To establish beyond doubt the noise zebras make I would suggest a quick search for a Peppa Pig episode involving Zoe Zebra, and then making a note of the noise she makes before speaking,” writes Andrew Benzeval. “From memory, it is different to both Pedro Pony and Delphine Donkey, so perhaps an entirely new equine noise altogether.” I’ve just spent a couple of minutes skipping through an episode of Peppa Pig involving Zoe Zebra, in both English and Italian, and I couldn’t find her making any noise at all, which has made me doubt whether the programme is genuinely biologically accurate.
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2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Hales 0) Nuwan Pradeep shares new ball duties, and it’s a maiden. By the end of it some of the players appear to have shadows, which is promising, weather-wise. “Morning Simon, morning everyone,” writes Lee Johnson. “Quick question: why is the zebra stood on a load of CDs? Is it and attempt to protect the grass by spreading the equid’s weight, similar to wearing snow shoes? Intriguing summer’s cricket already.” Isn’t it just! My guess would be that the last person to ride the zebra must have been a disk jockey.
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1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Hales 0) Shaminda Eranga takes the ball and gets 2016 under way, with lots of empty seats at Headingley, and Cook scores the day’s first runs off the final delivery, worked off the pads and past square leg for four. “‘Sri Lanka to win by a nose’ is too obvious, I suppose,” says Bob O’Hara. This is the OBO, Bob – when has that ever stopped us? “Looking at the other picture, it’s clear that this is a fake zebra, so Matt Cast can be smug that he suggested a fake zebra sound.”
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The players are out. This is happening.
@Simon_Burnton 10 minutes to go till 1st Test starts and I'm listening to zebra sounds. Can only be the welcome return of the OBO!
— Chris Scholes (@scholes_c) May 19, 2016
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A blow for Matt Cast: zebras don’t neigh. I thought they might ee-aw, but that’s not it either. It’s more of an uh-huh, I’d say.
Alastair Cook, of course, needs 36 runs to reach 10,000 in Tests. That is precisely three more than he managed in both innings combined the last time England played Sri Lanka here.
Sri Lanka’s XI, for the record: Dimuth, Saushal, Kusal Mendis, Chandimal, Mathews, Therimanne, Shanaka, Herath, Chameera, Eranga, Pradeep.
Matt Cast has the first entry in our caption competition*: “Have Sri Lanka got a chance in this series? Neigh!”
* The word competition implies that there is some kind of prize available. Just to be absolutely clear, there isn’t. Except, that is, for the glory of a mention in the summer’s first OBO.
So, England’s line-up: Cook, Hales, Compton, Root, Vince, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen Ali, Broad, Finn, Anderson.
For all Cook’s impending statistical curiosity, Alex Hales will be the focus at the start: he has one half-century in eight Test innings, and has averaged 10.86 in the other seven.
Cook continues: “It’s great to have Steven Finn back as well, he’ll be raring to go. Hopefully not for a while, but later on in the game.” He’s asked about the looming 10,000-run barrier: “It’s been a bit of a strange week, but I’ve got an opportunity now to score a few runs. It’ll be nice to get it, if I can get it.”
Alastair Cook mopes:
We would have bowled first, just with the green grass and the conditions, but the pitch is quite dry. I don’t think it’s the end of the world at all. You’ve got to get through the first couple of hours, then it’s a good wicket.
It’s been an interesting couple of years, and we’ve got a chance here to win a very important series against a side that always punches above their weight.
Sri Lanka win the toss and will bowl first
“They say at Headingley you win the toss and look up, so we’ll have a bowl first. It’s green, it’s cloudy so it’s going to do a little bit,” says Angelo Mathews.
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“I thought you could have come up with a better caption for the obligatory trophy pose picture considering there’s a blooming zebra behind them!” complains Stuart Allabush. OK readers, over to you …
So, the coin’s being polished ready for the toss. It’s overcast in Leeds at the moment, with the forecast looking a bit gloomier this morning than it did last night – boffins currently give us a 45% chance of seeing some rain before the scheduled close of play, with the rain radar showing a big band of drenchfulness running from the far north of scotland down to the south of Wales, which is just about making landfall on the west coast about now but is heading east with alarming, start-of-season keenness.
Hello world!
So, another summer begins. Here’s a few things to look forward to over the next few days:
- Rain! Saturday and Sunday could both be interrupted, according to current forecasts. Also, people watching cricket while wearing thermals and drinking soup from a thermos.
- Alastair Cook scoring 36 runs, all he needs to become the 12th human to score 10,000 Test runs (standing between him and the all-time top 10: Sunil Gavaskar (10,122 runs) and Steve Waugh (10,927)). It’s just a number, but as with James Anderson’s pursuit of Ian Botham’s England-record 383rd Test wicket, and then his 400th, it’ll be all people talk about until he forces them to find something else to talk about.
- The start of women’s Ashes-style, inter-disciplinary point-scoring. This may not get interesting for a while - there are nine games to be played, and a maximum of 24 points to be handed out - or indeed at all, but the Super Series is most definitely a thing. And apparently it’s super.
- Debuts! James Vince for England, Dasun Shanaka, scourge of the counties, for Sri Lanka. Shanaka scored a 132-ball 112 against Leicestershire which by all accounts was a bit of alright. And to think, he’s only one little syllable away from having a ready-made theme tune.
- A whole lot of fun with your friendly MBM team!
Plus a nod to those who aren’t here but aren’t forgotten: the many victims of floods and landslides in Sri Lanka, for whom the team will wear black armbands in this match, and James Taylor, the man who’ll be missing from short leg when England take the field.
Anyway, welcome. Boom shakalaka to you all.
Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s Vic Marks on the enduring qualities of the Sri Lanka spinner Rangana Herath:
No one expected Sri Lanka to beat England at Headingley in 2014. But they did. No one expects them to beat them this time either. But they might. However, a victory for Sri Lanka in Leeds would be even more surprising in 2016.
The England players are no longer navel-gazers, fearful of flak. We anticipate them playing with so much more freedom and purpose than two years ago despite having a trio of unproven batsmen in their line-up. Meanwhile Sri Lanka are still coping with the departure of two of their cricketing giants which means that their middle order looks even more fragile than England’s. To put it bluntly, Joe Root (Test average 54) probably has rather more support around him than Angelo Mathews (Test average 50).
However, Alastair Cook and the four other survivors of that Headingley defeat from what would have been the penultimate ball of the match, if Jimmy Anderson had survived it, can offer a salutary reminder to the others. The Sri Lankans tend to smile enchantingly but they are teak-tough, fierce competitors, wherever they play.
