Reports and reaction
Updated
Close of play: England 171-4 (Cook 82, Stokes 21)
The umpires have given up the ghost and announced the close of an excellent if truncated day’s play, in which the admirable, oldfangled virtues of Alastair Cook and Vernon Philander stood out. Cook’s respectful unbeaten 82 means England have emerged relatively unscathed from what could have been a very messy day, and sets the match up beautifully. Thanks for your company. This thing of ours resumes at 11am tomorrow. See you then.
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“I think we do well in England for top-order batters who are experienced and skilled against the moving ball, and that in the unfairly maligned county game they face skilled new-ball bowlers,” says Tim Sanders. “But Test cricket will, as it always has done, require the players who have that fraction of a second extra to see, decide and either play or leave the ball. My hypothesis is that the shift of the county championship season to earlier in April, and later in September, has given us a greater contrast than before in the type and pace of pitch. It can’t be easy facing Jimmy Anderson, Kyle Abbott, Ryan Sidebottom and the rest early in April, but maybe there’s a little more time to watch the ball and an edge is less likely to carry. The margins are terribly fine, and opening bats seem to be found out at Test level by how early in their innings they get their feet working properly, and how much they push at the ball rather than let it come to them. Adam Lyth a case in point – if I had a cover drive as good as his, I’d nick off quite often.”
“A nice email from Nath Jones re Tom Maynard,” says Drew Goldie. “His dad Matt was an exceptional player, but like quite a few real talents back then was thrown in against the rampant West Indies and at the Oval on his debut (1988) went for 3 and 10. So some kind of serendipitous pleasure for Maynard senior.”
And then he had to wait five years for his second Test. Some of the England selections in the 1980s in particular beggar belief. For example, look at this scorecard and consider the contributions of Graeme Fowler (201 in the first innings) and Neil Foster (11 wickets) to a famous series victory in India. Both played one more Test before being dropped at the start of the following summer.
The weather has improved, and the umpires are having a chat with the groundsman. We might get some play after all.
It’s lashing down at the Oval, and I suspect that will be it for the day. In theory play can resume as late as 7pm. It does not, however, look likely.
The Sopranos XI
David Hopkins: “I’d like Furio Giunta in to toughen up the middle order. The look in his eye as he prepared to sort our Artie Bucco’s bad debtor was Steve Waugh-esque.”
John Starbuck: “I’d go for Christopher as wicketkeeper: paradoxically, too nervous not to do a good job. Dr Melfi as specialist coach. Tony himself would play like Brian Close.”
Imagine Chrissy doing his high-speed huff stomp after getting a dodgy LBW.
“My favourite Oval memory is a county T20 game - Surrey v Glamorgan in 2010,” says Nath Jones. “As a Welshman in exile in south London I was excited to watch Matthew Maynard’s son Tom live for the first time. Having spent most of the Surrey innings boring my friends with many stories of watching Matt (my favourite player) while I was growing up, I was delighted to watch Tom’s outstanding, man-of-the-match winning 78* off 43 balls, a memory which sadly became a lot more poignant a couple of years later.”
“I was at The Oval in 1948, 14 years old, when I saw Don Bradman’s last innings,” says Norman Putnam. “Bowled by Eric Hollies second ball. There was a standing ovation for him when he left the pavilion,and we had barely sat down when we all stood again for his return. It says something about the game of cricket that the spectators could show such respect and admiration for an opponent.”
Amen to that. Am I right in thinking that nobody knew/cared about his average at the time, that the shock was purely in seeing him bowled for a duck in his final Test?
More emails
“How about Hesh as an umpire, but one of those non-neutral umpires from the 80s,” says Robert Razzell. “You know you’d got your man plumb LB, but a little smile and a shake of the head from Hesh and you know he’s in the batsman’s pocket.”
“Call me foolish, but we should declare,” says Ian Copestake. “Our bowlers are far superior to our batters and could these boys out for 60 in these conditions. You know I’m right.”
You’ve been taking the DeLorean back to 1950 again, haven’t you?
Bad light stops play
Bad light, rain, whatever. That might be it for the day. England will be much the happier to get off the field. Cook and Stokes were very good in that mini-session.
Updated
59th over: England 171-4 (Cook 82, Stokes 21) Cook works Morkel for two to bring up a determined fifty partnership. His innings has been immaculately judged, as has Stokes’s with a couple of exceptions. You can tell he is aching to respect Test cricket, but just every now and then instinct kicks in. In other news, I think it’s about to rain again.
“I’d love to see Silvio Dante as vice-captain,” says Sean Clayton, “both for his stand-in team talks and also to see what a batting helmet would do to his barnet/syrup...”
Imagine him as stand-in captain, having a complete asthma meltdown during his interview at the toss.
58th over: England 168-4 (Cook 80, Stokes 20) Stokes is beaten by another laughably extravagant leg-cutter from Philander. He leans on his bat, smiling, knowing that sometimes you eat the bear, and sometime the bear eats you. He plays and missed at the next delivery, too. It’s majestic bowling from Philander, and the last ball of the over is about to wobble onto the pad when Stokes gets a vital inside-edge to the leg side. He would have been plumb LBW without it.
“A little out of date,” says Tom Bowtell, “but some gnarly analysis of gaps between FC/Test averages here. Who did SS Sugwekar insult to never get a Test call-up with an average of 65?”
57th over: England 167-4 (Cook 80, Stokes 19) The proper, patient Test batsman inside Ben Stokes is currently having a blazing row with the batsman that slaughtered a 163-ball double hundred off South Africa 18 months ago. There are no such conversations going on in Alastair Cook’s subconscious. He waits for a short ball on the hip from Morkel and tucks it fine for four. Morkel is trying a bit too hard to make something happen and serves up a wide half-volley that Cook squeezes for four more. This has been a masterclass in how to bat on day one in favourable bowling conditions.
“I’ve been thinking again about who else to include in the Sopranos XI and of course one name stands out,” says Kevin Ryan. “Tony Soprano himself and obviously as the captain. I’d be tempted to include Ralphie Cifaretto as well purely because the rest of the side would see how Tony deals with transgressors. I couldn’t see Tony having any problems with players waving bats outside the off stump, sloppy misfielding in the covers or bowling woeful full tosses and long hops after them seeing how Ralfie ended up....Anyone here got a bowling bag?”
56th over: England 158-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 18) Stokes flashes seriously hard at Philander, edging high over the slips for four. It was a loose stroke but played with such force as to reduce the risk. Philander corrects him with a storming legcutter that beats Stokes all ends up.
“Damp and Dangerous, I think I saw them at the Dublin Castle in 1998,” sniffs Guy Hornsby. “£2 in, with a Student Card. Always “thought their best record was ‘Is It Cowardly To Pray For Rain?’ Supported admirably by Uphill And Into The Wind. They were the band the Bluetones could’ve been.”
I didn’t care for the disco-funk direction of the third album, Kolpak.
55th over: England 152-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 13) Morkel isn’t quite as accurate or probing as Philander, at least not yet. Cook is playing only when necessary, an obvious approach in these circumstances but one that is beyond many. Nothing of note happens until Cook is beaten by a monstrous final delivery that snaps viciously off the seam. This has been an admirable innings from Cook - not just on its own terms, but because of what may well have happened to England had he gone cheaply. South Africa would possibly be batting now.
“There is young talent out there; Dan Lawrence, Joe Clarke, Liam Livingstone, Al Davies and obviously Haseeb Hameed,” says Tom Bright. “Is it too early for some of these guys? Or should England have gone with potential rather than looking for a ‘solid county pro’ as a stopgap?!”
I don’t see enough county cricket to know either way. They haven’t picked Westley or Malan as stopgaps, though. Hameed’s form certainly complicated matters; at the start of the summer I’m sure they had him and Cook pencilled in as the opening pair for the next five years.
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54th over: England 152-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 13) Philander resumes at the other end. These are almost bespoke conditions for him, with everything needed for the ball to nibble around. Stokes inside-edges a hard-handed push into the leg side for a couple, prompting Philander to throw his hands to his head. He’s batting outside his crease to Vern, trying to get as far forward as possible in defence to negate any movement, but it isn’t doing much good at the moment. Later in the over Philander slips one between bat and pad as Stokes tries to defend. This is a master craftsman at work.
If Ben Stoked persists this tactic @VDP_24 will get him
— Robin John Peterson (@robbie13flair) July 27, 2017
“I remember how devastating Moles could be,” says Philip Bryden. “One recalls an occasion, in the early ‘90s I think it must have been, watching him at the crease for three weeks without interruption. The remainder of the team, the opposition and all the spectators bar myself had surrendered after close of play on the fifth day.”
53rd over: England 150-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 11) This is a big session. South Africa know they can do some significant, maybe even series-winning damage. The lights are on, so there might be some additional movement. If ever there was a time for England to respect Test cricket and dig in, it’s now. Stokes does the exact opposite, launching into a pull off Morkel that he bottom-edges on the bounce to de Kock. In his defence, the shot was on; it’s the drive that carries the most risk.
“Enjoying the chat about batsmen with averages who should be picked for England,” says Mike Duggan. “But why has Toby Roland-Jones, who is averaging 35 this season, been picked ahead of the Overton brothers (25-26) or Ben Coad (18.7)?”
It’s the Next Cab Off The Rank principle. They rate him, he’s been around the squad for 18 months or so, and a few weeks of modest form doesn’t change that. Nor should it really. Picking in-form randomers was one of the biggest problems in the 1980s and 1990s.
Play is about to resume. We can go until 7.30pm, with 31 overs to be bowled. Harumph. I was planning to watch the James Bond marathon on TNT the darts.
“Greetings Rob,” says Roger Martin. “I reckon Livia Soprano. Paranoid, manipulative and possessing an encyclopaedic memory of every slight she ever suffered: she’d be a great fast bowler. On the weather, I reckon Root is regretting batting first. The weather looks set fair for the next four days. England all out for 200, South Africa 500 for 3 by Saturday.”
What is this, 2012? But yes, it was a decent toss to lose, as it often is at the Oval actually.
As for Livia, that’s a great shout. Imagine her nagging an umpire into giving a dodgy LBW just to get some peace.
Damp and dangerous “Any explanation as to the excessive delay from umpire inspection at 4:45 to restarting play at 5:30?” says Phil Williams. “I’m at the Oval and we’ve missed out on 30 mins of glorious sunshine, while there’s clearly a large body of ominous clouds moving in. I’m at a loss as to why the players weren’t back on by 5:10 at the absolute latest.”
I haven’t heard anything. I assume the run-ups/outfield were damp and dangerous. (Coincidentally, Damp and Dangerous was the name of my student band.)
“Surely,” says Patrick McGinley, “the refutation of the averages argument is contained in the words ‘Graeme Hick’?”
Oh, Patrick. You’ve done it now.
Play will resume at 530, with 31 overs to be bowled. I’m going to take a break, enjoy a bit of the old me time, and will be back for the resumption.
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“Hi Rob,” says Derek Fordham. ““When I was a student in Southampton in the 1980s I was baffled by the fact that Trevor Jesty wasn’t getting in the England team at the time despite being the top English player in both the batting and bowling averages at the time,” says Derek Fordham. “My housemate, who is now a Daily Star “journalist”, managed to get an interview with him and asked him about this. He said that he “didn’t have enough middle initials to get picked for England”.”
Haha. On that note, I was convinced England would win the Ashes in 1994-95 if they put Kevin Curran, future father of Tom and Sam, at No6.
More emails
Mark Brecht “’If there was a top-order batsmen with a high average they’d have picked him by now, surely?’ said David Hopkins. I guess the exception to that rule is James Hildreth, who at 32 years of age has amassed 40 first-class centuries whilst averaging a shade under 44, without much of a sniff at all from the selectors. The one that got away…?
Andrew Benton “Email bounty? There’s a dearth of distracting “other” sports being MBM’d at the mo. No Tour de France, Golf, F1, Wimbledon, nothing..... But lo, there is a ship on the horizon. A Premiership - and that’s as dull as an overcast day in Ditherington on Sea. Sou’westers on folks....”
Nick Cullen “If we’re not picking on first-class averages, shouldn’t we just bring in Buttler and Morgan? This would free Bairstow from the gloves and allow him to be the buccaneering number five he truly is. Frankly, he’s too good to bat at seven, especially when Root is having to play all these Lara-esque lone hands.”
Yeah, that’s a tricky one because Bairstow has quite aggressively defended his right to keep - and he has become a bloody good keeper. I would tell him he either bats at No7 and keeps, or in the top five and doesn’t; leave it up to him.
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It looks brighter at the Oval, though there’s still no suggestion of a resumption.
“Enjoyed your little quote re The Bing,” says Kevin Ryan. “ Got me thinking: could we draft any of the Sopranos characters into the current England side. My money would be on Paulie Walnuts - a survivor when all around were dropping like flies. What do you/your followers think?”
My followers! My people! Anyway, yes, Pussy Bonpinsiero would be a lusty middle-order hitter, and Richie Aprile’s would be very strong on the drive, especially against Beansy.
Play was due to resume six minutes ago. It hasn’t, but the groundstaff are earning their keep and the covers will hopefully come off soon.
Some more emails while we wait for the rain to stop
“You asked for Oval memories,” says Laurence Milner. “In 1976 my family moved from Johannesburg to London. Prior to that my cricket watching was restricted to domestic Curry Cup in isolation South Africa. A few weeks after we arrived, my brother and I went to watch the West Indies play England at the Oval – my first ever test cricket experience. We got to see Viv Richards make a double century that day – I remember Greenwich got out early in the day bringing Richards to the crease. The rest is history….. You cannot top that as a first Test-watching experience.”
“Can’t help feeling I’ve been set up to hook at this one and there’s a man in the deep,” says Andy Bridge. “But if no one else has yet piled in … if punkt is point then silly point has to be Daft Punkt.”
“Isn’t the truth around the debate regarding selection of batsmen with moderate county averages simply that the selectors have no choice?” says David Hopkins. “They’ve tried most of those with high averages (Lyth/Ballance), most of whom have been found out at the highest level and ditched to a chorus of derision. If there was a top-order batsmen with a high average they’d have picked him by now, surely?”
Here’s Tom Bowtell. “Next to the batsman-averaging-over-40 column in Playfair, they had a bowling-average-under-30-with-more-than-100-wickets column and I remember being astonished/delighted that Mike Gatting somehow snuck onto it. (Peter Bowler - 45 FC hundreds and average of 40.5 was my Andy Moles.)”
Oh my goodness, think I’ve just had a Proustian rush and a statgasm at the same time. Never again will the satisfactions of everyday life be enough.
May I have your attention please
“My so called ‘friends’ have let me down tomorrow, so I now have three spare tickets for the Lock Laker stand tomorrow (Friday),” says Simon Thomas. “If any OBO reader wants them, and cares to make a suitable donation to Dan Lucas’ fund, then they can have them for nowt (as opposed to the £85 face value). I’m still going so they may have to sit next to me but I promise to stand my round.”
If you’re interested, send me an email with the subject ‘Simon Thomas’ and I’ll forward it on to him. Thanks!
Teatime chit-chat (aka why are there so many emails today?)
“An appropriate German expression for cricket is Salamitaktik,” says Mike Swan, “a way of achieving large goals through many small steps.”
“The only problem with Root,” says Dave Brown, “is that we are so used to him scoring big runs we assume there is a major problem when he’s batting like a mere mortal.”
Ha, that’s so true. His Test average is in serious danger of falling into the low fifties…
Tea
52nd over: England 148-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 10) Rabada bowls the last over before tea - and it might be a long tea break, because the clouds are approaching with malevolent intent. Stokes, who has respected the Bing Test cricket thus far, pulls carefully for a couple. And that’s it. As the players leave the field, the rain begins. See you in a bit for the evening session.
“Before his first call up, wasn’t Trescothick’s first class average pretty unspectacular, similar to Vaughan?” asks David Wall. Yeah, Fletcher was keen to get him in from the moment he marmalised Jacques Kallis on a dodgy pitch against Glamorgan in 1999. There are other players who were rightly picked because of weight of runs, like Adam Voges or Jonny Bairstow when he was recalled in 2015.
51st over: England 146-4 (Cook 72, Stokes 8) It’s a bowling day, which means it’s also an Alastair Cook day. He lives for challenges like this, when you have the change to make tough, worthy runs and then savour the feeling of virtuous tiredness. He moves into the seventies with a fine push-drive through mid-on for four off Morris. If he does get a 31st Test ton today - if, if, if - it’ll one of his better ones.
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50th over: England 140-4 (Cook 67, Stokes 7) We’ll have two or three more overs before tea. It would thus be a very, very, very, very, very bad time to lose a wicket. Stokes takes a dodgy third to deep midwicket and is only just home when the stumps are broken. It went upstairs, and for a second it seemed the bat might have bounced up when he dived in the crease. He was okay.
“The player that this Bayliss bravado has affected the most is Joe Root,” says Sachin Paul. “Nowadays, when he has to knuckle down (like after that over against Morkel), he can’t seem to get his concentration on. Just flashes at stuff too much. You could argue the ball that got him was a peach but with the amount of throwing around of his bat that he was doing, he’d have been out soon regardless. I hope he calms down and starts playing like Pujara or Amla.”
I don’t agree with that. Root’s change took place in the spring of 2014, before Bayliss. Some of the ridicule towards Bayliss lately (not referring to this email) has been out of order.
49th over: England 136-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 4) “Michael Vaughan was a great captain, but ‘only’ a good Test batsman,” says Mark Gillespie. “ His overall Test average is 41, and he’s rated as though he’s better than that because of one miraculous year, 2002, and the assumption that he never reached those heights again because of the weight of the captaincy. The evidence actually suggests that single year (but what a year!) was the aberration.
“The assumption that you can and should look beyond first class averages for Test players is correct, but only if you’ve actively identified something e.g. in character, that makes you think they can make the step up. It doesn’t follow that averages are meaningless and you can ignore them in the absence of other reasons to pick someone.”
Yes, totally agree with the second paragraph, if not the first. I think Vaughan would have averaged high 40s had he stayed as a batsman. But then England wouldn’t have won the Ashes in 2005, so it was a worthwhile if bittersweet trade. With the possible exception of Ian Bell in 2013, I’ve never seen batting as good as Vaughan’s by an Englishman across a whole Test series. But more to the point (I think this was the original point), his first-class average was rubbish when they picked him, but Duncan Fletcher fast-tracked him into the Test team after seeing him in the nets.
48th over: England 135-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 3) Cook push-drives Rabada confidently through extra cover for three. That allows Rabada to bowl to his BEF Stokes, who plays a couple of nice drives for one. There has been a lovely intensity to today’s cricket, the sort you only get when you have a serious bowling attack.
“What a strange mistress Test cricket is, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby, his hand moving inexorably towards his chin. “Cook, swathed in talk of a career exit in the winter, now one of only two sure things we have in this series alongside his captain. It’s staggering to think the amount of players that have come along the conveyor belt in the last two years – Vince, Hameed, Jennings, Balance, Malan, Westley, Robson and Lyth – some of whom we’ll never see again, and some I desperately hope we do for the next decade, whatever their average. But there he is, quietly accumulating, cutting and pushing off his pads, from dawn til dusk, like a cricket Olmec head. You imagine he’ll still be there in a few years from now, his average in the 40s. As a batsman, we’re lucky to have had him.”
And as a man. In his batting and his character, he’s a gift from the past.
47th over: England 127-4 (Cook 62, Stokes 1) Morris replaces Philander. The five-man attack allows him to take on the nasty-piece-of-work role, which he did brilliantly at Trent Bridge. He bounced Cook out in that game and is clearly intent on doing the same again. Cook takes on the short ball, first pulling on the bounce to square leg and then pulling to long leg for a single.
“All England need,” says Andrew Benton, “are eleven Moeen Alis.”
Ha. I think I’m the only person in England who would have no Moeen Alis.
46th over: England 125-4 (Cook 59, Stokes 0) Rabada hasn’t bowled that well on this tour, but that delivery was a reminder of how devastating he can be. He will, all things being equal, break every South African bowling record in the book. All England can do at the moment is hang in there and wait for anything resembling a bad ball. Cook does just that, rifling the last delivery square on the off side for four. He is starting to settle into his new role, and when he does he is going to score millions of runs.
“Agree that they all did, but only by a run or two,” says Tony Rowlinson of our peedie discussion about averages and selection. “They all also had above 40 averages in first-class cricket and debuted before the age of 27, something not shared by Westley or Malan. If they improve by the same amount they will average at 40 and 39 which is good but not what you are after in your top six.”
What about Alec Stewart? Or Adam Gilchrist? Or all those Aussies like Hayden and Martyn who failed in their early 20s and came back in their late 20s to score an obscene number of Test runs? What about Adam Voges, who started in his 30s and became Don Bradman for a year. Don’t get me wrong, I have no idea whether Westley or Malan are good enough but I think it’s wrong to limit selection because of data.
45th over: England 121-4 (Cook 55, Stokes 0) This is one of the better five-man attacks to have toured England, with a lot of variety and no real respite for the batsmen. Philander starts to toy with the new batsman Stokes, who defends confidently. Philander’s figures are 9-5-8-2, the kind Curtly Ambrose used to make.
“Agree that they all did, but only by a run or two,” says Tony Rowlinson of our peedie discussion about averages and selection. “They all also had above 40 averages in first-class cricket and debuted before the age of 27, something not shared by Westley or Malan. If they improve by the same amount they will average at 40 and 39 which is good but not what you are after in your top six.”
What about Alec Stewart? Or Adam Gilchrist? Or all those Aussies like Hayden and Martyn who failed in their early 20s and came back in their late 20s to score an obscene number of Test runs? What about Adam Voges, who started in his 30s and became Don Bradman for a year. Don’t get me wrong, I have no idea whether Westley or Malan are good enough but I think it’s wrong to limit selection because of data.
Read this, now. We know where you live.
44th over: England 120-4 (Cook 54, Stokes 0) Ben Stokes is the new batsman, so Jonny Bairstow has been pushed down to No7. That’s interesting.
“As someone whose wider knowledge of cricket came from the Playfair Cricket Annuals of the 1990s, I shared your outrage at how Moles, A. J. was continuously overlooked,” says Kieran Booluck. “For the same reason, and despite never having seen him face a single ball, I became convinced Vinod Kambli was the greatest batsman in the world.”
That’s exactly where I got it from with Moles. They had a little list of the England-qualified batsmen with the highest first-class averages, and he was always in it. Yet they never picked him. At one point I was dangerously close to sending a strongly worded fax to Lord’s.
WICKET! England 120-4 (Malan b Rabada 1)
This is as good as it gets. Malan is knocked over in more ways than one by a glorious inswinging yorker by Rabada. He ended up on all fours, with the stumps splayed left and right. That was absolutely devastating.
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43rd over: England 118-3 (Cook 53, Malan 0) A few technical problems here; apologies. The last over from Philander was an excellent and eventful one: he beat Cook twice outside off stump, but Cook managed to force a cut for four to bring up a Cookish half-century from 129 balls.
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42nd over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) Rabada replaces Maharaj and curves his first ball back into Malan, prompting another unsuccessful shout for LBW. Height was again the problem. These are fraught moments for England and especially Malan, who is still on nought after 14 deliveries and has Rabada hooping the ball back into him. The last ball of the over swings right over the top of the off stump. It was, in fairness to Malan, a good leave on length.
“I noticed that there’s a Test match on at the moment between Sri Lanka and India, as well as England and South Africa,” says David Mills. “Have three test matches ever been in progress at the same time? I guess there have never been four!”
I’m not absolutely certain as I was distracted by a Twin Peaks marathon at the time, but I think there were four early in 2001: Australia in India, Pakistan in New Zealand, England in Sri Lanka and South Africa in the West Indies.
41st over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) As we pointed out in the previous Test, Vernon Philander’s bowling average (now 21.97) is the lowest of any current bowler. He is a brilliant bowler, a forensic interrogator of improper techniques in the mould of Glenn McGrath.
This is only his seventh over of the day, because of stomach trouble - and now he has a huge shout for LBW against Alastair Cook. Joel Wilson thinks for a long time and then says no. Faf du Plessis indicates that he thinks it was going over; Hawkeye confirms that it was. du Plessis is very good with DRS - not just in his judgement, especially of height, but also his calmness.
Cook ends a difficult over by reaching for a wide delivery and edging it not far shot of the diving Kuhn at gully. A maiden for Philander, who now has figures of 7-5-3-2.
40th over: England 114-3 (Cook 49, Malan 0) Play resumes under sunny skies. Tea will be at 4.10pm. Malan tries to charge Maharaj and almost runs past the ball. It hit him on the pad, prompting an almost affronted LBW appeal from Maharaj. It was close but he was a long way down and, more importantly, outside the line.
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“Localised showers at the Oval today...” says Garrett. Photo of myself, my sister and my dad says it all...”
I can’t upload the pic - it’s a long story - but Garrett and his sister (and everyone around them) look like they are having a day at the beach, while their dad is shivering under a drenched plastic mac.
On that note: I don’t know why, and I wish it wouldn’t happen, but every time I see a plastic mac, Pulp’s This Is Hardcore starts playing in my head.
Updated
Play will restart at 3.15pm.
“Hard to argue with Stephen Russell (39th over),” says Tony Rowlinson, “but it’s never stopped me before. Agree that he added five runs on his average, but he’s the exception that proves the rule. There are very few guys in the last 15 years at least who have significantly improved on their first class average and when you’re looking for 3 new batsmen, it’s surely better to play the probabilities than hope to hit 1 in a million?”
I’m not sure he is the exception: Gower, Smith, Trescothick, Root and many others have higher averages in Tests than in first-class cricket. The expert eye will always be more valuable than data.
This is an excellent spot
Dawid Malan is the oldest specialist batsman to debut for England since Steve James in 1998, and before him Alan Wells in 1995
— Simon Wilde (@swildecricket) July 27, 2017
“I don’t believe England’s problem lies with a lack of batting talent, more so a deliberate focus on the shorter formats of the game,” says Oliver Mcpheely. “We don’t have enough guys that are willing and able to occupy the crease for prolonged periods of time. It makes you wonder: what hope do we have in Australia for the Ashes later this year?”
None. You’re welcome! If England lose the first Test, and most of Australia’s fast bowlers stay fit, there’s a good chance it’ll be 5-0. I do think England will be fine in the medium-term, once Haseeb Hameed and Mason Crane are established and they move away from deluxe bits-and-pieces players. And they are still good enough to win this series.
Rain stops play
Ach, another interruption. It doesn’t seem too bad, so it’ll hopefully just be a 20-minute break in play.
39th over: England 113-3 (Cook 48, Malan 0) Dawid Malan is the new batsman. He is left-handed; he is facing Vernon Philander. Good luck! He survives his first four deliveries, playing at as little as possible. Philander has majestic figures of 6-4-3-2.
Here’s Stephen Russell. “A two-word answer for Tony Rowlinson (34th over): Michael Vaughan.”
Yes, exactly. You have to look beyond averages. When I was a kid, and looked only at averages, I was outraged – outraged I tell you – that England never picked Andy Moles.
WICKET! England 113-3 (Root c de Kock b Philander 29)
Joe Root falls to a sensational piece of cricket from South Africa. Philander turned him round with a stunning delivery that moved away to take the outside edge, and then de Kock - whose weight was going the wrong way before the late movement - flew spectacularly to his right to take a brilliant one-handed catch. There was nothing whatsoever Root could do about that.
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38th over: England 112-2 (Cook 47, Root 27) Maharaj rushes through an over in about the time it takes me to assume the OBO position, with Root flicking a couple off his legs.
“Root’s relatively dainty demeanour means his strike rate sometimes slips under the radar - he now has 300 runs in the series at strike rate of 80,” says Tom Bowtell. “Puts him right up there in the England all-time list.”
Good spot. You can tell the story of Root’s career through his year-on-year strike rate, particularly his reinvention after the 2013-14 Ashes, and I suspect it will settle at around 65-70 in the first phase of his captaincy.
Thanks Tim, hello there. The closeness of England/South Africa series is slightly overstated, due in part to dead rubber and/or dead dodgy victories, but this really is too tight to call. We are more than halfway through the series and six results are still credible, from 3-1 England all the way round to 3-1 South Africa.
This, indeed, might be the decisive period of the series, with England’s two specialist batsmen trying to repel some fine bowling from Vernon Philander, the innocuous bogeyman of world cricket, and Keshav Maharaj.
Time for me to hand over to Rob Smyth. Thanks for your company, your emails, and your genial erudition – special subjects, German nouns and harmonic scalpels.
36th over: England 109-2 (Cook 47, Root 27) Cook breaks the spell with a flick to fine leg for two off Maharaj. And that’s drinks, with South Africa’s noses back in front and England on the defensive – but with their two senior players still there. Cook is playing an ex-captain’s innings.
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35th over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Morkel keeps Root honest with yet another maiden. After that breezy start, Root is now much more wary – his innings a microcosm of his time as captain.
34th over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Maharaj is asking questions too now – he has a shout for LBW against Cook, and beats him as he tries to cut.
Meanwhile Tony Rowlinson is scratching his head. “I’m confused why Westley and Malan have been brought in when their county records are pretty mediocre (37.44 and 38.09). Cook, Root and Bairstow, our 3 best batsmen, all have close to 50 average in county cricket, so why are we going for guys who are averaging sub 40 and are in their late 20s? Is there a problem with Rory Burns or a complete lack of options? I unfortunately don’t follow county cricket very closely so am vexed, vexed I say.”
33rd over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) A fabulous maiden from Morkel, who has Root playing and missing, then flirting and missing, then playing and missing again. It’s telling how little anyone has talked about the injured Dale Steyn, one of the all-time great fast bowlers. This attack has more than one leader.
32nd over: England 107-2 (Cook 45, Root 27) Tidy from Maharaj, restricting Root to one quick single. Root is so much better at looking for those than the rest of England’s top order.
Back to German, with Richard Mansell. “Alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position isn’t in the Kama Sutra but can be found in chess endgames, especially if the Tromposky or Nimzowitch Larsen Attacks are deployed.”
31st over: England 106-2 (Cook 45, Root 26) Morkel produces a beauty which lifts and leaves the bat. It beats Cook and de Kock too, and goes for four byes. Morkel then lures Cook forward and finds the edge of a bat that is so visibly crooked, it may well want to run for president.
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30th over: England 101-2 (Cook 45, Root 25) Faf du Plessis turns back to spin, after that one half-hearted over this morning. Maharaj gets Root to go back when he should be forward, but the bat locates the ball at the last second. Next ball, Root is right forward. And Philander is back on the field.
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29th over: England 99-2 (Cook 44, Root 24) Morris bowls a peach of an outswinger to Root, who is lucky to miss with a grandiose drive. But Root finds his touch again with a cover steer for two and a whip-pull for four.
“Afternoon everybody,” says Richard Williams (not the Guardian columnist). “I would appreciate a full breakdown of cricketing terms in German as I’m starting to get fed up trying to explain this fantastic game to my colleagues here in Berlin. It was hard enough trying to convince them the whole game lasts for 5 days and can still end in a draw. Though thankfully with England’s batting that topic hasn’t really cropped up many times. Yours, an appreciative OBO’er who lives in a country that doesn’t effing broadcast cricket.”
28th over: England 93-2 (Cook 44, Root 18) Morkel continues and Cook nudges him for two. How du Plessis would love to have Philander on now. And how the Guardian auto-correct would love to call him du Pleases.
An email from Pete Salmon. “Denis Compton scored 173 in one session?!!! How is that possible? Obviously I’ve been going down the Dhawan rabbit hole, and that’s where I ended up. I think he must have been a very good batsman, this Compton.” Ha.
“Also, the German for point is of course Punkt. Point fielders should be chosen accordingly methinks.”
27th over: England 91-2 (Cook 42, Root 18) Morris keeps on swinging, but Cook’s eye is well in and he glances for four. When he takes a single, Root pushes through mid-off for two. The South Africans are pitching it up now, to draw the edge, but Morris goes too leg-stump-ish and Root picks him off for three more. His 18 has come off only 17 balls. Cook gets a bouncer and pulls, watchfully, for a single, making 12 off the over, but it was a better contest than that makes it sound.
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26th over: England 79-2 (Cook 36, Root 13) A maiden from Morkel, “but not a threatening one”, as Mike Atherton observes.
An email from Charlie Rossiter. “My knowledge of German is limited,” he begins. “but I do know that a set square is ein winkel. I insist that some rendition of silly winkel must be in the correct translation.”
And now an email about the cricket, of all things, from Tom van der Gucht. “Cook’s continued hunt for an opening partner is increasingly resembling the lonely antics of a serial online dater who’s continually let down by the people they hook up with. On paper, the new candidates look good; they meet up for the first date / test match and it seems promising, it may not be not butterflies-in-the-tummy exciting, but it looks promising... However, it just doesn’t work out as they fail to gel or Cook gets let down by the new candidates not living up to expectations... Cook is then once again left alone and lonely, hunting through tinder / the county averages for a new partner.” And wondering if the problem is him?
25th over: England 79-2 (Cook 36, Root 13) Root steers Morris for four through gully, Atherton-style, then edges for four more, less convincingly, but also Atherton-style in that the hands were soft and the edge was low. And then he plays and misses.
Sky flash up a sobering graphic showing how much each Test team has defended against seam in the last couple of years. Everyone is between 30 and 37 per cent – except England, who are bottom of the table, on 28. That stat is no damned lie.
24th over: England 69-2 (Cook 35, Root 4) With Philander unable to bowl till 2.30, Morkel comes back on to try and nab Root early on. When he drops short and wide, Root flays him for four with an upper cut.
An email from David Wall, picking up on 13:27. “The alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position? Is that in the Karma Sutra?”
23rd over: England 65-2 (Cook 35, Root 0) That early lunch did its job, dispatching the clouds. But lunch can also mess with the concentration, and Westley, after playing so well, finally looks like the debutant he is. One more wicket and South Africa will feel they’re well on top.
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WICKET! Westley c du Plessis b Morris 25 (England 64-2)
Shame. Westley goes too hard at an outswinger and gives a simple catch to second slip.
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Back to the German class. “As a resident of Germany,” muses Thomas Whiteley, “I believe it behoves me to come up with a better germanified version of silly square leg than proffered so far. I believe a degree of discretion is required to depart from mere literal translation, therefore I would go for alberne, seitliche Kurz-Bein-Position.”
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Another email from Bob O’Hara, who’s had almost as good a morning as Tom Wesley, despite being called O’Mara at one point. “I’ve used harmonic scalpels a few times,” says Bob. “They’re great for cutting up fairy cakes into fifths.”
Meanwhile, back in the language lab... “I’m sorry to be pernickety here,” says Edward Ruston, “but the German language demands it.” Oh all right then. “Unfortunately you can’t squeeze adjectives into a compound noun, so I’d have to correct Richard Mansell’s and Kim Thonger’s super effort into ‘dummes, kurzes, quadratisches Bein’ – but this not very convincing alternative might be worth a shout: Das Dummheitskürzevierecksbein. Much better German would be: Die viereckige Kurzbeinalbernheit (square short-leg silliness).”
Any minute now, Steve Hudson and his harmonic scalpel will be trending. He pops up again. “Please tell Yves Tixier,” he asks, “that a rongeur is a strongly constructed instrument with a sharp-edged, scoop-shaped tip, used for gouging out bone. Similar to a Philander inswinger, in other words.”
The harmonic scalpel seems to be catching the imagination. “I was thrilled to read Steve Hudson’s note that the harmonic scalpel simultaneously cuts and cauterizes tissue,” writes David Hopkins, “as this I think means that a harmonic scalpel is in effect a light sabre. We all know that NHS doctors are heroes, now we find that they’re Jedi Knights as well.”
A study in contrasts from Dileep Premachandran, the former editor of Wisden India, who emails from Sri Lanka. “Seems like you have a proper old-fashioned stoush on at the Oval. Here in Galle, we’ve had Test cricket on speed, with India rattling up 600 in just four and a half sessions, and then taking five wickets before stumps. Shikhar Dhawan made 190 before tea on the first day. 190! I can remember Tests in the 1980s when teams didn’t make that in a day.”
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Our language class continues with an email from Yves Tixier, somewhere in France, picking up on Steve Hudson’s erudite note in the 13th over. “Rongeurs? Rongeurs means rodents, in French. Do doctors really use rodents to probe? I thought only (some) patients did that.”
And Steve himself is back. “Please pass a message on to Richard Mansell [20th over]. The Harmonic scalpel is a surgical instrument used to simultaneously cut and cauterize tissue. Unlike electrosurgery, the harmonic scalpel uses ultrasonic vibrations instead of electric current to cut and cauterize tissue. [citation needed]. Doesn’t everyone know this?”
And rain stops play again
... before it has started. Only in England.
So that’s an early lunch, with England 62-1 and the happier of the two teams after losing Jennings so early. Cook has played like a proper elder statesman, determined to show everyone what Test cricket is; Westley has been highly promising as the old craftsman’s apprentice. South Africa started well but then lost their rhythm, not helped by a week off and the tummy bug that has struck the master Philander.
On email, Gareth Fitzgerald is back for more. “A fifty partnership for the second wicket. What a time to be alive.”
Rain stops play, for about two minutes
The umpires take the players off, but it’s quite bright by south-London standards, and in no time they’re back.
22nd over: England 62-1 (Cook 34, Westley 24) Rabada hands Westley a nice little gift on middle-and-leg, so he helps himself to a couple. Cook does something similar and that’s the 50 partnership, off a patient 112 balls. England are benefiting not just from the Essex connection, but from the eternal bonus of a left-and-right combination.
More from Tom Bowtell, our first-names correspondent. “In the name of nomenclatural fairness, should probably note that Roland-Jones is also the first Test-playing Toby for any team ever – and Malan is likewise Test cricket’s first Dawid.”
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21st over: England 56-1 (Cook 31, Westley 22) Morris continues, swings one sharply in, and Westley clips it just over the man at square leg for four. “The only way is Essex,” says Nasser Hussain, a touch smugly.
In the greatest-Oval-Test debate, Shankar Mony nominates a fresh candidate. “Another great Oval finish – not sure if the entire match was as memorable, there being a Boycott century and all that – was the Aug 1979 Test between India and England. India were set 438 to win, and completely unexpectedly got to 366-1 before collapsing to 429-8, doing scant justice to Gavaskar’s marvellous 221. Pity that.”
20th over: England 51-1 (Cook 30, Westley 18) Cook keeps Rabada out and pinches a single, leaving Wesley, after a run of dots, to ease a two into the covers. His composure has been something to behold. Meanwhile, a slo-mo replay of the review shows Morris saying, “WHAT?”
Richard Mansell joins the conversation from the 14th over. “I think Kim Thonger (if that is even a real name) has missed a trick: the German for short square leg would present a wonderful opportunity for the German compound noun, thus dummekurzequadratischebein.
“Also,” he adds, “what’s a harmonic scalpel? A scalpel that only makes sharp notes?”
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19th over: England 48-1 (Cook 29, Westley 16) Morris still hasn’t quite found his radar, but he has found some swing and he does make things happen. The ball he reviewed was coming back in and hitting leg stump. Westley, facing him for the first time today, almost inside-edges on to the stumps.
Review! Not out
For LBW against Cook, playing inside a full ball from Morris. Saved by a nick.
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18th over: England 47-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Rabada and Westley stage an instant re-enactment of the 16th over, perhaps unaware that re-enactments are supposed to involve drama.
“Morning Tim.” Morning, Brian Withington. “Liking the emerging theme of international cricket diplomacy started with your 6th-over reference to the German Chancellor’s mean bowling. One or two others spring to mind - captain May guilty of an overly optimistic early declaration; and that living advert for a political DRS, one Donald Trump (mystery spinner and flat-track bully).”
17th over: England 47-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) After a sleepy start, Extras are warming to the task. Morris follows up that wide with a near-wide that goes for two byes. Cook, who made 24 off his first 33 balls, has added only four off the last 29, which will bother him not a jot.
16th over: England 45-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) A maiden from Rabada to Wesley, the one rusty, the other wary.
And here comes a mildly indignant email from Karen Klomp. “Has anyone pointed out yet that the 100th Test Match at the Oval was played in 2011? This is the 106th one, as no-one seems to remember that England Women played 6 Test matches here between 1937 (with the amazing Eileen Whelan who at 105 rang the bell at Lord’s last Sunday) and 1976 (2 wins, 4 draws, if you’re interested).
“So it’s either the 106th Test, or the 100th Men’s Test. either way I’m hoping to enjoy a good day at the Oval on Saturday, although after last Sunday at Lord’s it’s bound to be a rather tame affair :-)”
15th over: England 44-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Faf du Plessis aborts his experiment with spin and turns to Chris Morris, who bounced Cook out when they last met. Morris starts with a wide – a proper wide wide, in the great tradition of Steve Harmison, who happens to be at the Oval today. A maiden, mainly because Cook barely had to play the ball. The bowling figures come up on the screen, and Philander’s are resplendent: 4-3-2-1.
14th over: England 44-1 (Cook 28, Westley 16) Rabada mixes it up to Cook, who contents himself with a single. And that’s drinks, with honours even at this early stage. It’s been quietly fascinating.
An email from Kim Thonger. “I do have a few words of German, although I rarely use them in the right order, and I don’t know a word for slow steady attack. But it’s always struck me that fielding positions would sound awfully jolly in German. Silly short square leg for example might be something like ‘dumme kurze quadratische bein’, which has a lovely cadence, don’t you think?” Hard to argue.
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13th over: England 43-1 (Cook 27, Westley 16) Spin! On comes Maharaj for an exploratory over. Westley plays an expansive cover drive to reach double figures, and a whipped on drive for four more. He is looking the part.
An email from Steve Hudson, picking up on the 8th over. “To be pedantic, doctors don’t use stethoscopes to probe things. A better comparison might be a scalpel, a lancet, a drill bit, rasps, trocars, a ligasure, an harmonic scalpel, surgical scissors, or rongeurs.” That is the acceptable face of pedantry.
12th over: England 35-1 (Cook 27, Westley 8) Rabada makes one fly through to de Kock, which leads Warne to wonder if it’s a two-paced pitch rather than a slow one. When he pitches it up more, Rabada beats Cook’s prod. The cameras find Sir John Major, who now seems like a representative of a golden age of sanity and wisdom.
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11th over: England 35-1 (Cook 27, Westley 8) Morkel continues and almost gets Cook with a beauty that straightens on off stump, takes the edge, pops up, lands safely. On another day, that would have gone down gully’s throat; here, it goes for two. Morkel beats Cook too, but Cook escapes with a nudged single. Westley then survives a loud appeal for LBW, saved by a nick.
An email from Tom Bowtell. “Historic day: Westley is the first Tom to appear for England since Graveney’s last cover drive back in June 1969. You Tims have had endless Bresnans, Ambroses and Curtises (Curti?) during this time.” Endless? They hardly played. And we had Tim Henman too.
10th over: England 32-1 (Cook 24, Westley 8) Rabada replaces Philander, who may be changing ends. Cook gets a couple of freebies on leg stump and hits one of them for a crisp four. “He looks in the zone,” says Shane Beard. “A lot calmer today.”
On email, Gareth Fitzgerald picks up the Oval baton. “I loved the 1997 Ashes Test, even though it was a dead rubber. Phil Tufnell spinning England to victory. A recalled Mark Ramprakash scoring a crucial 48 in the second innings, when the guy he replaced had been criticised for scoring meaningless second-innings runs. Devon Malcolm opening the bowling and pinning Matt Elliot straight away in the second innings, and Andy Caddick going all show pony. IIRC in the first innings Tuffers got Mark Waugh, one of the most stylish batsmen I ever saw, with an absolute jaffa.”
9th over: England 27-1 (Cook 19, Westley 8) Westley keeps Merkel out, then glances him for four. His first 20 minutes as an international cricketer have gone well.
On email, John Starbuck is back for a second spell, picking up on Bob O’Hara’s quip from the 6th over. “Given Merkel’s reputation, there’s surely a single word in German for slowly wearing down the opposition with a steady, controlled attack. Probably ‘vernonphilander’.”
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8th over: England 23-1 (Cook 19, Westley 4) In Philander’s hands, the ball becomes a sort of stethoscope. He probes away at Cook, who blocks, and leaves, and blocks, and leaves, and finally nudges for two – the first runs Philander has conceded this morning.
In other news, Shane Warne has grown a beard, which looks as if he bought it in a joke shop.
7th over: England 21-1 (Cook 17, Westley 4) Go Westley! He’s off the mark with a handsome clip for four off Morkel, sweetly timed through square leg. And when Morkel bounces him, he sees it early and ducks decisively. It must help that he’s used to batting with Cook, unlike so many of the top-order batsmen England have summoned in the past three years.
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6th over: England 17-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) Cook, faced with Philander, shows Jennings what to play, what to leave, and how to wander out to short leg to fill the time between deliveries.
A tweet from Bob O’Hara. “Please don’t correct your typo in over 3.” Typo? Moi? “The image it gives of international diplomacy is one to savour. @Cricket_Germany” Nice one.
5th over: England 17-1 (Cook 17, Westley 0) England attempt a single, for the first time today, and it goes rather well: Cook pushes into the covers, there’s a shy at the stumps, nobody backs up, so that’s five for the price of one. Westley, facing Morkel for the first time, produces a solid forward defensive.
A tweet from David Pearce. “Best Oval Test undoubtedly 1976. 291 from Viv Richards in his pomp, 14 wickets for Holding, 203 for Dennis Amiss. Unmatchable.” And England used six slow bowlers.
4th over: England 12-1 (Cook 12, Westley 0) Jennings wafts at Philander and is lucky not to get a snick. Then he tries to be more circumspect, and gets the snick anyway. He looks as if his confidence is shot. Tom Westley, on debut, takes the hint and shows more purpose in defence.
An email from John Starbuck. “Tim, I just heard that this pitch is one of the most moist (apologies to Rob Smyth, if he’s reading, for the use of this bugbear word) they’ve known. The batsmen will have to lump it, as ever, but does this influence the bowling selections?” Well, yes. It’s part of the reason why England don’t feel they need the second spinner.
WICKET! Jennings c Elgar b Philander 0 (England 12-1)
Oh dear. Jennings hangs the bat out at Philander’s stock ball and gives some gentle catching practice to Elgar. That’s dismal.
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3rd over: England 12-0 (Cook 12, Jennings 0) Cook goes forward to cover-drive Morkel for four, then back to tuck him for four more. Textbook stuff. Merkel retorts with a shorter ball, in at the groin; if it hurts, Cook isn’t going to show it. To the last ball, which is quicker, Cook ends up playing French cricket.
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Jennings 0) Keaton Jennings, badly in need of some runs, has to face Vernon Philander, the artist in this South African team. He keeps him out, rather uncertainly. The early feeling is that England will do well to get to lunch with only two down.
A tweet from Paddy Blewer. “Oval has created some brilliant #cricket moments. 2005 is cliché. Viv’s last test with Tuffers and Syd Lawrence was brilliant.” Ah yes, 1991, great entertainment. But that’s a bit hard on 2005: in sport, a contest only becomes a cliché if it’s a classic.
1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Jennings 0) Morne Morkel gets the ball rolling – and bouncing, and seaming. His first delivery is a lifter that Alastair Cook can easily leave; the second is on the spot, blocked on off stump; the third moves away and beats the bat. The fourth takes the edge, as Cook gets forward: it squirts through the vacant fourth slip to the equally vacant third man. That streaky four takes Cook past Allan Border on the list of all-time Test run-makers.
This is like the Nineties, when the selection of the England team was one long argument in the pub, never to be resolved. Here’s Mike Daniels: “Can’t help feeling that Chris Evans’ email criticising Trevor Bayliss and the approach of the batters is off the mark. He is working with who is selected and the team are a young group who are aggressive with the bat. If that’s what you’ve got to work with then the way to go is to refine their approach. That takes time and experience of failure. Anyway - shouldn’t Chris be somewhere else earning that £2m+ rather than emailing here?”
And here’s Jonathan Taylor, who sets a fine example by saying where he is (Montrose, in Scotland). “So the England batsmen fail to perform & a bowler gets dropped... Same old, Same old. What happens if they fail again? Drop Broad (granted he gets slower by the session) & after that Anderson? Pretty soon it will 10 batsmen & a bowler.”
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The Oval’s 100-Test history is being celebrated on Sky. It’s lovely lyrical stuff: oh my Holding and my Malcolm long ago.
Meanwhile, on email, here’s the familiar figure of Tom van der Gucht. “This series reminds me of England v South Africa in 2003 – Vaughan was kicking off his own captaincy whilst scrabbling round for a balanced line-up by firing out Test caps to a variety of untried colts and solid county pros in the hope of hitting the jackpot. I wonder which of Dawson, Malan, Jennings, Roland-Jones, Ballance and Westley will be the 2017 equivalents of Anthony McGrath, Martin Bicknell, Ed Smith, Kirtley and Kabir Ali...”
The first email of the Test comes from Chris Evans. “This England team always has the potential to make me look foolish,” he reckons, “but I’m going to nail my colours to the mast regardless. I feel that the team is in a similar position to the ODI team under Moores in 2015 (bear with me). The personnel is largely right but the approach to the game is wrong. It seems to me that all the batters are told to go out and attack and look to score quickly. Its hard to do that consistently in Tests. Bayliss would seem to prefer 400 all out after 100 overs to 600 after 180. I think the players in the team are capable of playing each ball on its merits but the word from above is to always look to score. Maybe this is why Haseeb looked so good in India as his game doesn’t involve just walloping the ball around. He left the wide ones, blocked the straight ones and took the runs on offer.” It’s a sign of Haseeb’s class, and England’s confusion, that they are missing him, and he’s only 20.
Toss: England bat
Joe Root concedes that “it does look a little bit green” but has no hesitation in opting to bat. So far in this series, the team batting first has won easily.
South Africa team
After the first Test, it took the England selectors five minutes to name an unchanged side – which duly got hammered. The South African management may have had much the same experience here, with Rabada a shoo-in to return in place of Olivier. Expected team: Elgar, Kuhn, Amla, de Kock, du Plessis, Bavuma, Philander, Morris, Rabada, Maharaj, Morkel.
Team news: Malan plays
England leave out Liam Dawson and bring in Dawid Malan. So it’s three debuts, five bowlers not six, and eight batsmen rather than seven, with England dropping the pretence that Moeen is the second spinner and shunting him (presumably) back down to No.8. Full team: Cook, Jennings, Westley, Root, Malan, Bairstow, Stokes, Moeen, Roland-Jones, Broad, Anderson. I suspect it’s the first time England have picked three beginners alongside three veterans of a hundred Tests.
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PREAMBLE
Morning everyone and welcome to the third Test. It could take a very long time, there will be moments when nothing seems to be happening, and The Guardian will bring you every little twist and turn – yes, it’s basically Love Island all over again. Will the winning couple be the early favourites, Joe and Mo, or the flavour of the fortnight, Vernon and Morne?
This Test is the 100th at The Oval, the scene of the very first Test in England in 1880. In five-day cricket, the Oval has two signature dishes – the low-scoring gripper and the high-scoring bore. In a perfect world, this match will be a medium-scoring gripper that ends with the side batting last nine wickets down and five short of victory. That way, we get a thrilling finish here and a series decider at Old Trafford next week.
England, who lost a wicket every five overs at Trent Bridge, need to bat for a whole day. They have to look inside themselves and find something that you might have thought was ingrained in Test cricketers: an instinct for survival.
The South Africans, the best travellers among today’s Test teams, need to get their cricket heads on again after taking a week off. They have to stop England taking their customary ride on the rollercoaster. It’s nine years since England lost consecutive home Tests – but the victors then were South Africa. Morne Morkel played in that Test, as did Alastair Cook and Jimmy Anderson.
England’s Test team has somehow become easier to break into than the one-day side. Keaton Jennings is Alastair Cook’s sixth opening partner in 28 Tests since Trevor Bayliss took over as coach. There may well be a seventh by next week if Jennings doesn’t find his feet here. If the spare batsman, Dawid Malan, replaces the largely spare spinner, Liam Dawson, England will be fielding three debutants, with Tom Westley always inked in at No.3 and Toby Roland-Jones deputising for the injured Mark Wood as third seamer.
The last time England handed out three new caps at once was in 2014 against Sri Lanka at Lord’s – Moeen Ali, Chris Jordan and Sam Robson. The time before that was the preceding Test, the final drubbing in an Ashes whitewash – Gary Ballance, Scott Borthwick and Boyd Rankin. So the moral of the story is that only one of the three tends to stick around. The twist this time is that all the new boys are 28 or older, which should help.
For South Africa, the exciting Kagiso Rabada returns after proving too exciting for the authorities and serving a one-match ban. With Chris Morris going from wayward to unplayable after being told by Faf du Plessis just to bowl fast, South Africa’s pace quartet has more fire than England’s. Weather permitting, this could be a cracker.
Tim will be here shortly. Joe Root has confirmed that Toby Roland-Jones will make his Test debut, replacing the injured Mark Wood:
“Toby has been really good in practice and he has obviously had a fine couple of years and it is a very exciting time, as it is for anyone who makes their Test debut. I’m really excited for him and I’m sure he’s desperate to show everyone what he can do with the red ball for England.”
Essex’s Tom Westley is set to start at No3, while Dawid Malan is jostling with Liam Dawson for the final spot in the team. Root is happy to take a look at the wicket before deciding on spinner Dawson:
“I think it is important to look at the surface and see what we think is going to be the best side to take South Africa on in those conditions. So we will turn up tomorrow and look at the wicket and consider then.”
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