And why not come on over for this …
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Right that’s it from me. I’d love to sit around and analyse that but the Wales v Argentina MBM is going live in exactly two minutes and I’m needed over there. Do pop over and join me.
Thanks for reading this one though, and thanks for all the tweets and emails. Apologies for not using them all and apologies if you like rugby league. I’m right though. Bye!
@DanLucas86 Dan, your snipes are keeping me amused in a cafe in Argentina. OK 30-14 up, but i'm guessing Eddie Jones still looks miserable?!
— Hugh Taylor (@HughTaylor48) November 12, 2016
I’d say his expression at full-time is “grimly satisfied”. Nathan Hughes on the other hand is the happiest man on earth by the looks of things.
Full-time: England 37-21 South Africa
England get a penalty but Farrell decides enough is enough and pops it into touch. England’s 10-year hoodoo ends!
80 min Daly catches the restart under no pressure in the South Africa 22! Flung wide right and England can go for one more from here.
Con (Combrink 80) England 37-21 South Africa
Over it goes and we’ll have time for one more play.
Scotland lost.
Updated
Try! (Le Roux 79) England 37-19 South Africa
Good try this from second phase ball, Goosen’s flat miss-pass takes out Yarde and the full-back goes over.
78 min Care nearly picks off a pass from Le Roux but can’t cling on. Knock on only and South Africa have a scrum with a couple of minutes to go.
77 min Marler is done for a high tackle and this time Combrink takes it, finding an excellent touch in the corner. Mapoue on for Pietersen.
Scotland are one point down and have possession near halfway with the clock in the red.
76 min It’s just a penalty, which Le Roux whacks out touch in goal. This is so, so bad from South Africa. Joe Launchbury is man of the match and fully deserved that is.
75 min But it’s knocked and, after Joseph carries it, Farrell kicks ahead. A few kick exchanges then Hughes marks his international debut by flattening Goosen while trying to charge the replacement fly-half’s chip ahead. It looks a fraction late but there’s very little in it.
74 min Here we go: Mostert wins the lineout and here come the drives...
73 min Robshaw is very close to picking off a loose pass from Francois Venter. It’s frankly a mess right now. Sinckler penalised and Goosen pops it into the corner.
Bad news Scotland fans. You don’t need me to tell you what’s happened.
72 min Brown fields a long clearance but takes it into touch. Never mind as Attwood pinches the lineout and Farrell, who is at 10 now Ford has gone off (as has Billy V) puts it up. Kyle Sinckler comes on for his debut in place of Dan Cole.
71 min Te’o and Attwood on for England, Mbonambi for South Africa. England win the lineout and go right, but Marler loses it in the pouring rain. I’ve got to bloody go home to this weather.
69 min South Africa carry it up into the England half but turn it over and Farrell cuts the line to ribbons. Inside it goes to Ford and he attacks the retreating Bok line before chipping over the top. Combrink fields and it’s cleared but this is awful from South Africa.
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68 min Carr replaces De Jager, Care replaces Youngs. The England No9 might be man of the match. Kicked ahead and Pietersen throws a massive forward pass under no pressure in his own 22, but gets away with it.
Try! (Farrell 67 + Farrell con) England 37-14 South Africa
Youngs does it again! Another dummy, Du Toit is sold up the river for the second time and this time it’s Farrell on his should for the simple finish under the posts. He knocks over the extras too.
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66 min Now England use the backs and Daly shuffles up a few metres on the left. Back inside and South Africa’s defence is good, driving Brown back out the 22...
65 min That is a mighty scrum from England and Robshaw drives it up in the tight, into the 22. George carries it on but then momentum is stalled when Marler hesitates. Billy Vunipola rights that.
64 min It’s an England scrum right on the South Africa 22. Another try here would kill this one off.
63 min And from 40 metres Farrell’s kick drifts left. De Klerk replaces Paige, Joseph replaces May. From the restart though, Du Toit knocks on. Marler on for Mako.
61 min Absolute thriller at Murrayfield where Scotland are holding on desperately with 15 minutes to play. Back here, De Allende is pinged for a high tackle on Brown.
And in the interests of fairness:
@DanLucas86 @guardian_sport England's first try was a second man play - a tactic which came from RL. Just saying....
— James Campbell (@JimCam73) November 12, 2016
60 min Goosen scuffs and pulls a horrible kick wide to the left from out on the right.
Try! (Goosen 59) England 30-14 South Africa
And finally the Boks do make a break! It’s the speedy No8 Whitely, slipping away from May and bursting down the right after a nice offload out the back of the hand from De Allende. He pops it inside and Goosen scampers over from the 22. They check that the offload wasn’t forward and, despite Stuart Barnes’ protests on Sky, it clearly isn’t.
Updated
58 min While I was making a note of the changes South Africa appear to have nabbed the ball back. They still can’t get anywhere and are now back in their own half.
57 min Off comes captain Hartley with a 100% strike rate at the lineout, George on. The ball goes left from this lineout but there’s a knock-on and Goosen clears long to Brown, who runs it back and is chopped down on his own 10 metre line. Both props have been changed for South Africa.
56 min Ford goes high and now South Africa look to carry it back from deep. England’s defence drifts and takes Strauss into touch with not much ground gained for the visitors.
55 min “Greetings from Luxembourg, where my hotel, strangely, has BBC 1,” begins Derek Robertson. “No matter how many points Scotland score, or how far ahead we get, you know that a) nothing will wipe the memory of having our most glorious result snatched from us by a cowardly cheese eating surrender monkey and b) we will find a way to lose this, no matter what. That’s what we do.”
You deserved to lose that semi-final, Derek. Come on now.
Goosen clears after South Africa win the lineout and drive it well. England have it 10 metres inside their own half.
54 min Ford finds touch on the right with a nice kick, just outside the 22. Nathan Hughes makes his debut, coming on for Wood who has played well on his comeback. Lambie is replaced by Goosen.
53 min Scrappy lineout ball but South Africa retain it and Strauss burrows down the right before De Jager carries towards the 22. Eventually Koch drops it and Youngs kicks for May to chase. This time Combrink does gather cleanly.
52 min Brown goes offside at the breakdown and gives away a penalty. Lambie, after a bit of treatment, finds touch midway inside the England half on the right.
At Murrayfield it’s Scotland 22-16 Australia, in Rome it’s Italy 10-68 New Zealand.
51 min So they revert to type, picking and driving their way up into the England half before Lambie kicks. May calls the mark and kick tennis ensues. Joy.
50 min Youngs shanks his box kick but May regathers and the No9 can try again, going deeper and pushing South Africa back into their own half. The Springboks have offered absolutely nothing with ball in hand so far today. I can’t remember a single line break.
Updated
Penalty (Farrell 49) England 30-9 South Africa
I think my prediction of an eight-point winning margin might be wrong.
48 min From the lineout England move it infield and, though the ball is eventually spilled, South Africa went offside and Farrell will have an easy kick from 26 metres, right in front.
47 min Alberts secures it and Lambie clears high into touch. England will have a lineout around 15 metres outside of the Bok 22 on their right.
@DanLucas86 Danners - what are the boxes on the shirt backs for - spine protection, health monitoring, auto-ID if they get concussed.....
— Andrew Benton (@thangnangman) November 12, 2016
I believe they’re prozone packs used for monitoring player data. Average pitch position, metres run etc.
46 min England scrum dead centre then. Clean ball, Ford chips for the corner and executes it perfectly.
Completely absorbed by the Scotland game @DanLucas86, which is excellent. England's first half sounded just as good, but can we sustain it?
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) November 12, 2016
It’s more about whether or not South Africa completely fold now I think.
45 min Lambie puts his restart out on the full. I’m calling it: they’re done.
Try! (Ford 44 + Farrell con) England 27-9 South Africa
South Africa are a rabble – their lack of back-row pace showing. Vunipola draws three men into the tackle and Youngs, from the 10 metre line, dummies and waltzes through a gap. He times his pop pass inside perfectly and Ford canters under the sticks.
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43 min May has a burst down the outside and England move it back infield just outside the 22. It’s slow stuff but this is a great position ... until it’s turned over and Whitely boots it into the England half. May runs back to halfway.
Scotland have another try! They lead 22-13.
42 min England go probing in midfield but the combination of the South African defence and the slippy ball mean there’s no go forward and Mako Vunipola spills it. Lambie chips, Robshaw regathers and we try again.
We're back under way
Peeeep! George Ford kicks into the South African 22, no changes as far as I can see. Paige box-kicks to touch on the right a few metres outside his 22.
Italy have scored and the TMO is checking to see if Scotland have.
People don’t seem to be happy that I said rugby league is rubbish. My views on rugby league do not reflect those of the Guardian, I guess I should stay.
Back with real rugby and Australia have pulled back a penalty at the start of the second half; they trail Scotland 17-13. New Zealand lead Italy 54-3 in Rome.
No question who finished that half in the ascendancy. England sorted out their early disciplinary woes and are starting to look rather comfortable. Back in 10.
Penalty (Daly 40) and half-time: England 20-9 South Africa
With the angle it’s 51 metres, which is nothing to this guy. He steps up and knocks it through with barely a chip!
Updated
39 min Paige kicks and Brown comes haring back over halfway. Alberts, I think, goes off his feet at the breakdown and it’s a penalty to England 49 metres out, just to the left. Hello, Elliot Daly...
38 min Youngs returns the restart, South Africa pick and go just inside the England half and the hitherto excellent Launchbury wins the turnover. Youngs goes high and Yarde wins it in midfield. Wood takes it into the 22 and they go left but Ford’s rubbish forward pass is dropped by Lawes. Etzebeth will stay off.
Scotland lead Australia 17-10 at half-time.
Conversion (Farrell 37) England 17-9 South Africa
From just to the left, Farrell knocks over the extras. May’s kick chase for that try was outstanding, as was Daly’s kick ahead.
Try! (Lawes 36) England 15-9 South Africa
Courtney Lawes has his first international try on the day of his 50th cap!
Updated
Lawes try?
Left and then Daly chips it ahead for May to chase. He puts the pressure on Combrink and the ball goes loose in the South Africa 22. Brown dives for the line and doesn’t appear to get anything on the ball. It spins backwards off his thigh and Lawes (!) outpaces De Allende (!) to slide it over the line. I reckon this is a try.
35 min De Allende looks to go for a run and is chopped down on halfway by Launchbury. Le Roux has had enough of that and sends a cute kick tumbling into touch on the South Africa left, 10 metres out. Wood secures the lineout, Youngs kicks high and Pietersen drops it...
Penalty (Farrell 34) England 10-9 South Africa
From 10 metres, right in front, Farrell chips it through.
33 min Kock pulls his future team-mate Mako Vunipola to the ground and concedes a penalty and, effectively, three points.
32 min ...
31 min (still) We resume with an England scrum five metres out, which is a rather nice outcome for the men in white.
Etzebeth is still down. He’s going to go off for an HIA and I wouldn’t be surprised if he can’t continue. Franco Mostert replaces him.
@DanLucas86 A curse on you and all your loved ones* for that comment about rugby league being rubbish
— Dr Creepen Van Pasta (@f1morgancole) November 12, 2016
*not really, obviously
31 min From the lineout England crash it up then Youngs gains 15 metres after a superb dummy! Vunipola crashes into Etzebeth, tall buildings shake and the South African lock has not come out of the collision well. Play is stopped.
30 min Robshaw wins the turnover with a great tackle on Paige and England have it in midfield. Farrell kicks towards the corner but Pietersen has read the play. He goes back, gives it to Le Roux and the full-back clears to touch. Eddie Jones looks miserable.
Updated
29 min I don’t know why I keep saying “bloody hell” when I fully expect Scotland to beat Australia. Back here, it’s a kicking exchange again.
28 min Yes, England are crashing it up against these enormous South Africans. It can’t be a pleasant experience for any of them bar the Vunipolas. Back it goes to Ford 30 metres out in the pocket and he sticks a pretty damn poor drop-goal effort wide from right in front.
Bloody hell, try Scotland! They lead 17-10.
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27 min From the lineout England’s forwards rumble through hte middle. Ford slips a kick through for Yarde to chase down the right and Le Roux slides it into touch. Launchbury takes the lineout 10 metres from the line.
Update from Simon McMahon
“10-10 at Murrayfield. It was good while it lasted. And if this isn’t sacrilege on a rugby union live blog, how about a word for the Scotland rugby league team, who secured an historic 18-18 draw against New Zealand last night, a truly remarkable achievement.”
I still fancy Scotland for this one and Laidlaw has just missed one from range to put them back in front.
Rugby league is rubbish and I don’t care about it. Sorry.
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26 min These two teams are both able to kick it a long-way to each other. Eventually Le Roux is the first to cock things up, whacking it into touch on the full from the middle of his own half.
25 min Lawes wins it straight back and England go right, but backwards at a rate and Yarde, like a rabbit in the headlights, loses it. No one seems to want to gather it and eventually De Allende chips it into the England in-goal area. Brown touches down.
Updated
24 min Farrell kicks to touch midway inside the South Africa half and Wood takes it, setting the maul. Left and again Daly is wrapped up but they recycle well and continue going left but Brown turns it over.
23 min Billy V makes a strong charge through the middle but South Africa disrupt well at the breakdown and Youngs can’t gather it cleanly. Alberts scoops it up and goes back into the England half, but another turnover and the Boks are penalised this time.
22 min Paige whacks it long and into touch from the restart. England have the lineout on their left, five inside the Springboks’ half. Into midfield they go.
Penalty (Lambie 21) England 7-9 South Africa
From right under the sticks, Lambie restores South Africa’s lead. As good as England have looked with ball in hand, that’s deserved.
20 min Du Toit takes it and they form the maul. There’s a massive gap and Koch goes through it then offloads to Alberts just a few metres out! He’s dragged down but there is a penalty coming against Cole for offside.
19 min And the Boks get another penalty. The penalty count tells you they’re edging it up front and Lambie kicks it down the line and into touch.
18 min High ball again from Youngs, which Robshaw chases. The former captain leaps well but spills the bar of soap into touch. South Africa opt for the scrum four metres inside the England half, tight to the touchline.
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17 min South Africa win the scrum with few alarms and fewer surprises, then spin it left. Up to halfway and Paige goes high but Brown is secure under it just outside their 22. Daly looks to burst down the short side but is firmly driven back into his 22.
16 min Ahh I’ve missed Autumn International scrums. No wait, that’s not right.
15 min From the drop-out it goes loose a few metres inside the England half and they reclaim possession. They carry down the short-side – the right, that is, and seven eight and six show off some nice hands. But then at the next phase Lawes drops it, so South Africa have a scrum 15 inside their own half.
14 min Lambie shanks a poor kick wide to the right from distance.
13 min South Africa get a penalty and a chance to retake the lead immediately, when Mako Vunipola takes out a man in the air chasing a high kick from Youngs.
“Afternoon Dan,” begins Simon McMahon. “Fast start at Murrayfield, Laidlaw penalty puts Scotland ahead, Jones goes in under the posts after after a brilliant kick from Russell. 10-0 Scotland.”
Bloody hell he’s right. I missed that, although Australia have just scored themselves. All Blacks lead 35-3.
Conversion (Farrell 12) England 7-6 South Africa
From the left-hand touchline, Farrell nervelessly curls it over.
Try! (May 11) England 5-6 South Africa
Oh that’s excellent. Quick ball off the top of the lineout again, Vunipola crashes it up and offloads out the tackle to Ford. Daly runs a gorgeous decoy line and Forde gives it to Yarde in space in midfield. The Quin has the awareness to see the overlap, gives it left to Brown and the full-back sends it out to May, who runs in a great finish from 25 metres!
Updated
10 min From the lineout Launchbury makes a half-break and England work it right, 35 metres or so out. Ford plays a nice little shallow chip right for Yarde to take but Le Roux takes it well, juggling. He’s bundled into touch 25 metres from his own line...
9 min England win the lineout through Launchbury, who taps it down and they move it infield. Ford kicks high but it’s not a good one, far too deep and Le Roux claims the mark under less pressure than Jurgen Klopp. Clears to touch near halfway.
8 min The Beast spots a gap at the breakdown after Lambie claims the kick-off and tears through the heart of England to reach halfway! Recycled, left, and at that breakdown good work from Cole wins the turnover and the penalty. Farrell to touch down the right.
Drop-goal (Lambie 7) England 0-6 South Africa
It’s a bit far out for Lambie so he kicks to touch again, on the 22. Strauss throws long and De Allende catches it, hitting the line at speed and carrying into the 22. South Africa 15 metres out and Lambie, back in the pocket, switches to his left foot and chips it over!
Updated
6 min And another penalty from the lineout – Wood entering the ensuing maul at the side. Let’s call this an overenthusiastic start from the men in white.
Greig Laidlaw has put Scotland 3-0 up against Australia, New Zealand have the bonus point try.
5 min And now England concede a penalty from the restart; Launchbury going offside at the breakdown on South Africa’s 22. Lambie clears to touch on the right, around eight metres inside England’s half.
Penalty (Lambie 4) England 0-3 South Africa
From 42 metres, just off to the right, Lambie has no problems.
3 min Brown dots down and England take a quick drop-out, looking to run from deep, and the ball goes left and loose. Andre Venter nearly intercepts but can’t grip the slippy ball. A ruck forms, it’s a mess and England go off their feet. Lambie will have a crack at goal.
2 min And Youngs goes high to Willie le Roux. Essentially these first two minutes have been a rather forgettable exchange of kicks. Billy V calls the mark in his 22 but disappoints all by not taking the return kick himself.
Kick off!
Peeeeeeeep! Jerome Garces – I’m not doing accents on names for this, sorry style guide – peeps his whistle and Pat Lambie kicks to Billy Vunipola in the 22. Youngs clears and it’s taken close to the touchline by Pietersen, who is wrapped up. Paige returns high.
The players are in the tunnel ... and now on the pitch. Courtney Lawes leads England out on the occasion of his 50th cap. There will be a two minute silence before the anthems.
Back over in Rome, New Zealand scored twice while I nipped off for a comfort break and lead Italy 21-3 after 22 minutes. At Murrayfield, they’re slightly ahead of Twickenham and are singing the anthems.
Updated
The All Blacks are 7-0 up in Italy. That barely counts as news. Alternatively if you want to know why South Africa are such a mess right now then Mike Aylwin can tell you.
Is there anybody out there? Well yes, John McEnerney is and he’s the first to get his prediction in.
@DanLucas86 both countries in different places right now Eng on the up & SA at their weakest 4 years(still tough 2 beat). Home win but close
— John McEnerney (@MackerOnTheMed) November 12, 2016
I reckon England by eight. I can also reveal that I just overheard Michael Aylwin call into the office from Twickenham and he reckons this will be very, very tight. If you want your name in such illustrious company as Aylwin, McEnerney and Lucas do get in touch; dan.lucas@theguardian.com if you want to email or @DanLucas86 if you’re feeling pithy.
Apropos of which, it’s never a bad time to watch this.
In a way I sort of hope this match will simply be won by Elliot Daly smashing them over from inside his own half.
Elliot Daly is warming up by practicing his placekicking. From inside the other half. They are sailing over posts #ENGvRSA @BBCLondonSport
— Jamie Hill (@jamiephill) November 12, 2016
Updated
Elsewhere today there are early-afternoon kick-offs for Italy v New Zealand – good luck there, Conor O’Shea, and I mean that because he is the nicest man in rugby I’ve ever interviewed – and Scotland v Australia. Alas, no MBMs for those two but I’ll keep you apprised.
In the meantime, why not have a read of my colleague Gerard Meagher’s analysis of where this one will be won and lost? READ IT.
Preamble
Afternoon, folks. Let us hark back to 18 November 2006. A day in a bygone era, one before the internet was bad. Since that day FaceSpace and Twotter have been invented and Twotter invented Vine and then Vine died. Back then all those celebrities you loved were still alive. Since 18 November 2006, England have given debuts to 40 Test cricketers, 48 ODI cricketers, 104 Test rugby players and 72 footballers. Seven of those cricketers, 19 of those rugby players and five of those footballers have since ended their careers. The Arctic Monkeys and Taylor Swift both released their debut albums that same year and have since released four records each. There have been 14 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The entirety of Breaking Bad happened. And still, since that day, England have not beaten South Africa in 12 times of asking.
Could it finally be, then, lucky No13 for England? Well the pundits, and indeed the bookies seem to think it more than likely. England might be besieged by injuries but the Springboks are besieged by far more; not least not being very good these days. Eddie Jones has been forced to shuffle his deck considerably since the whitewash down under. The Northampton duo of Courtney Lawes and Tom Wood have hardly been helped by the Saints’ woeful form this season but into the pack they come from the wilderness, along with Joe Launchbury, with one almighty task in front of them.
Lood de Jager, Pieter Steph du Toit and Willem Alberts, the trio of loose forwards, weigh 55 stone between them and Eben Etzebeth is hardly small – James Haskell reckons he has the biggest “guns” the game has ever seen. After Northampton’s European Cup win over Montpellier, Wood described the French team’s Bok-loaded pack as the biggest he had ever seen; he could be in for one mighty shock when the teams take the field in just under an hour. Even by South African standards, this is one gargantuan side.
England’s best hope, surely, is to get the ball through the hands. Easier said than done when the weather is like this (cold, wet, grey, for those of you who don’t know what London in November looks like) but behind the scrum there is cause for excitement. Elliot Daly might have missed more tackles than any of his Wasps team-mates this year but (a) you can put that down to their rush defence and (b) he more than makes up for it with his electric pace and liquid hands. The new No13 – in for in-form but minutely-crocked Jonathan Joseph – also joins a select band of players I’ve seen land kicks from nearly 60 metres, one that includes Tim Stimpson, Juan Martin Hernandez, Dan Lucas and Gavin Henson off the top of my head. Should the running game not be the plan, England can hardly have had a better kicking midfield.
There is also Jonny May, back on the wing after injury cut him down in the best form of his life last season. Across the other side of the pitch from him god alone knows what Marland Yarde has done to merit a place ahead of Semesa Rokoduguni but the return of the powerful, speedy Gloucester man should be reason to cheer for all England fans. On another note – and I promise there is no anti-Quins bias here – surely Mike Brown can count himself lucky to be in ahead of Alex Goode as can Ben Te’o to have a place ahead of the Saracen on the bench. In Eddie we trust though, I suppose.
Kick-off is at 2.30pm GMT, or 4.30pm Cape Town time. Your teams are as follows:
England M Brown (Harlequins); M Yarde (Harlequins), E Daly (Wasps), O Farrell (Saracens),J May (Gloucester); G Ford (Bath), B Youngs (Leicester); M Vunipola (Saracens), D Hartley (Northampton, capt), D Cole (Leicester), J Launchbury (Wasps), C Lawes(Northampton), C Robshaw (Harlequins), T Wood (Northampton), B Vunipola(Saracens).
Replacements J George (Saracens), J Marler (Harlequins), K Sinckler (Harlequins), D Attwood (Bath Rugby), N Hughes (Wasps), D Care (Harlequins), B Te’o (Worcester), J Joseph (Bath).
South Africa W le Roux (Eagles); R Combrinck (Lions), F Venter (Cheetahs), D de Allende (Western Province), JP Pietersen (Leicester); P Lambie (Sharks), R Paige (Bulls); T Mtawarira (Sharks), A Strauss (Bulls, capt), V Koch (Saracens), E Etzebeth (Western Province), L de Jager (Bulls), W Alberts (Stade Français), P du Toit (Western Province), W Whiteley (Hurricanes).
Replacements B Mbonambi (Western Province), S Kitshoff (Bordeaux), L Adriaanse (Sharks), F Mostert (Rams), N Carr (Western Province), F de Klerk (Lions), J Goosen (Racing 92), L Mapoe (Spears)
