Reports and reaction
Close of play
87th over: England 357-5 (Root 184, Moeen Ali 61) That’s the end of an almost perfect first day as an England captain for Joe Root. He will resume tomorrow on 184 with England in charge after recovering admirably from 76 for four. Thanks for your company; bye!
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86th over: England 354-5 (Root 182, Moeen Ali 60) I suspect it will be many a year before we see Joe Root batting anywhere other than No4; he clatters Philander to the extra-cover boundary to move to 181. Since tea he has been almost entirely brilliant.
“G’day Rob, just got out of a wood-fired hot tub in a vineyard in Montepulciano, Italy, to check the score,” says George Grundy, constructing another unique sentence in the history of mankind. “Good old Rooter! My dad’s at Lords today and will be bare-headed, sunburned, full of sauce and happy as a pig in swill at the way things have worked out today. The Saffas are in big trouble batting fourth. Trebles all round!”
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85th over: England 345-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 57) Too wide from Rabada, and Moeen flashes him through backward point for four. Rabada (22-4-91-1) has not had his finest day. The team batting first has won 13 and lost one of the last 20 Tests at Lord’s, and this looks increasingly like a really good toss to win.
84th over: England 340-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 53) A single from Moeen off Philander brings up an outstanding 150 partnership for the sixth wicket from just 177 deliveries. Waugh and Gilchrist couldn’t have done it better. An inside-edge saves Root from being LBW to Philander, who continues to bowl that challenging wicket-to-wicket line.
“The South African issue with no-balls has now become a comedy classic,” says Ian Copestake, “something along the lines of Morkel and wides.”
83rd over: England 339-5 (Root 177, Moeen Ali 52) Play will finish at 6.30, so we’ll lose overs despite the extra half-hour. At the moment, South Africa are the ones who will want to get off the field because Root is smashing the second new ball to all parts. He climbs into Rabada again, driving and pulling high-class boundaries. Since reaching his century Root has belted 77 from 67 balls to put England in a tremendous position.
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82nd over: England 329-5 (Root 168, Moeen Ali 52) Vernon Philander returns to the attack. He’s only bowled 13 overs so should be pretty fresh, and his third delivery moves sharply off the seam to beat Moeen.
81st over: England 327-5 (Root 168, Moeen Ali 50) South Africa take the second new ball at the earliest opportunity. Rabada’s first ball is loose and slapped for four by Root; his second is a beauty that beats the attempted drive; and his sixth is clouted just over the man at cover for four more. This is turning into an epic innings from Root. The nicest thing about it is that, when people in Australia wake up tomorrow and look at the score, they will not be remotely surprised to see that Root made a huge hundred on his captaincy debut.
“Hi Rob,” says John Bowker. “surely if the no. 3 issue is unresolved after the summer then Root must move up a place (again) - maybe Bairstow too. That leaves space for a middle order batsman instead of the more crucial no. 3 - but who?”
I would let Root bat where he wants; I think you are entering a world of pain if you true to force the captain to do something with which he is clearly uneasy. I’d give Ballance this series and put Stoneman in if it doesn’t work out. Bairstow feels a place too high at No4, especially if he keeps. I know Selve advocates Cook moving to No3, which has some merit. I would wait for Jennings and/or Hameed and/or Stoneman to establish themselves first, though.
80th over: England 319-5 (Root 160, Moeen Ali 50) Moeen scampers back for a second to reach an excellent fifty from 81 balls. He is very dangerous at No7, where he averages 95 as compared to 28 anywhere else. This has to be his role for the foreseeable future.
“Jack Russell - an indescribable technique, which was 40% nudge, 50% hurdle, and 10% thick outside edge for four,” says Steve Hudson. “It must have been infuriating to bowlers.”
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79th over: England 314-5 (Root 159, Moeen Ali 46) Moeen charges Maharaj and drags loosely into the leg-side for a single; Root then chips just short of extra cover. Maharaj has been so much better from this end, with the slope taking it away from the right-hander.
“Western civilisation is not at risk as long as we have Test cricket,” says John Starbuck. “When you think about it, that’s pretty much the definition.”
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78th over: England 309-5 (Root 157, Moeen Ali 44) Bavuma has bowled well, particularly to Moeen. He has induced a couple of inside edges and now slips in a surprise bouncer that forces Moeen to take evasive action.
“As a solution to the No3 problem, is it possible that Hales could fill the gap?” says Matt Potter. “He’s clearly good enough, If unpredictable. Whereas I’m just not quite sure Ballance has the natural ability at the highest level.”
Is he clearly good enough? He’s potentially a beast but hasn’t done that much in first-class cricket. The whole thing is complicated by Hameed’s almost bizarre lack of form, because you would expect him to be a regular in the team sooner rather than later. I’d like to see Stoneman get a chance against West Indies if it doesn’t work out with Ballance. What you don’t want is somebody playing their first innings at No3 at the Gabba against Australia in November.
77th over: England 308-5 (Root 156, Moeen Ali 43) Maharaj has looked much better since changing ends. England will be encouraged by the no-ball that dismissed Root, because it roared past the edge. All things being equal, this pitch will take plenty of turn in the second half of the match.
“First thought was Simon Katich and then Kepler Wessels,” says Robert Taylor. “Shiv Chanderpaul is unorthodox but I always thought his technique had its charms.”
76th over: England 301-5 (Root 152, Moeen Ali 40) Root’s third fifty came from just 43 balls, which is great work both as batsman and captain. He has been determined to make hay before the second new ball shines.
“Hi Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Brian Close would take a lot of beating in the ugly lefty stakes - as he proved when being recalled (exhumed?) to face (chest?) the legendary WI pace attack in the 70s.”
75th over: England 297-5 (Root 150, Moeen Ali 38) Root drives the first ball of his second innings for a single to reach his 150. He breaks into a broad if slightly sheepish smile.
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ROOT IS STUMPED OFF A NO-BALL!
Oh my word. Maharaj deceived Root beautifully to have him stumped by de Kock, but replays showed a clear no-ball. For a spinner to bowl a no-ball at the best of times is pretty poor. For him to do so when dismissing Joe Root on 149 is a rare old shocker.
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74th over: England 294-5 (Root 149, Moeen Ali 37) Bavuma is causing Moeen a few problems with his gentle inswing. Moeen inside-edges onto the pads and then digs out a good yorker later in the over.
“Hey, do I get a cheque for every mention of meta-pressure?” says Ian Copestake. “Before you know it it will have its own website, a line of clothing and be mentioned by Trump on Twitter.”
It was nice to see Trump say earlier today that western civilisation is at risk. I didn’t realise he was capable of such self-awareness.
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73rd over: England 292-5 (Root 148, Moeen Ali 36) Root continues to bully Maharaj, sweeping firmly for four more. This is smart, selfless and pretty darn brilliant batting. He has really targeted the weaker bowlers, scoring 73 from 67 balls off Maharaj, de Bruyn and Bavuma.
“Matthew Hayden,” says Charlie Mawer, “could surely never be described as elegant or graceful.”
He could if you were stuck in a lift with him.
72nd over: England 286-5 (Root 143, Moeen Ali 35) Dean Elgar is rotating the part-timers, with Temba Bavuma coming into the attack to replace de Bruyn. Moeen is almost suckered out, beaten as he chases a very wide delivery.
“You don’t want to look very far Rob,” says Sachin Paul. “I’ll suggest Gary Ballance as the one with the ugliest technique. Among others, here are some left (pun intended) choices - Andy Flower, Simon Katich. I’d suggest Chanderpaul but he made his crabbiness elegant in its own way.”
71st over: England 285-5 (Root 142, Moeen Ali 35) Maharaj has switched ends to replace Morke Mornel. Moeen tries to sweep a ball that turns and bounces sharply to hit him on the arm. Root demonstrates how to play the stroke, muscling the ball to the square-leg boundary. Since reaching his century Root has scored 42 from 33 deliveries; it’s been a clinic in how to attack before the second new ball.
“Ugliest lefties?” says Ian Copestake. “Ken Livingsto- I mean, ‘Slasher’ Mackay.” Good knowledge, Copestake!
It’s time for drinks. South Africa’s over-rate is such that they need to bowl 20 overs in 40 minutes to finish on time.
70th over: England 277-5 (Root 137, Moeen Ali 32) A low full toss from de Bruyn is flicked easily for four by Root. de Bruyn looks a pretty innocuous bowler, though that might put the England batsmen under a bit of meta-pressure. Two from the over.
“Everyone talks about the elegance of left-handers,” says Richard O’Hagan, “but who has had the ugliest technique among Test lefties? (Not counting Chris Schofield’s weird little back kick at the crease.)”
Oh, that’s a good one. Graeme Smith would be high on the list, probably unbeaten on 150-odd, having just forced an England captain to resign
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69th over: England 268-5 (Root 129, Moeen Ali 31) Root is beaten by a grubber from Morkel that, mercifully for England, was wide of off stump. This pitch could be a bit tricky on the last two days.
“I realise this is mere sartorial frippery in the face of Root’s great efforts but - if your pic at the top of the OBO is to be believed – how on earth does he manage to wear a sweater in the sweltering mess that London is today?” says Tim Stafford. “More importantly, why?”
68th over: England 267-5 (Root 129, Moeen Ali 30) Theunis de Bruyn replaces Maharaj. England have played the spinner Maharaj perfectly today - the odd big shot and lots of milking. He is supposed to give South Africa control; figures of 17-1-79-0 are out of control. And actually those figures flatter him, because he bowled his first three overs for four runs when England had shut up shop for lunch. Since then he has bowled 14-0-75-0.
Moeen drives de Bruyn sweetly for three, and then Root whacks two boundaries through midwicket. He is batting marvellously now.
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67th over: England 255-5 (Root 120, Moeen Ali 27) Root is beaten outside off stump by a bit of trampolining nastiness from Morkel.
“If Ali does provoke a rash on Ian Copestake [Over 64],” says Anthony Pease, “I recommend an antihistamoeen.”
I can’t decide if that’s the best email of the year or the worst.
66th over: England 254-5 (Root 119, Moeen Ali 27) Root survives a chance off Maharaj. He launched into a sweep at Maharaj and toe-ended it into the grille of the keeper de Kock, who would have needed superhuman reactions to the take the catch. The ball deflected towards slip, where Elgar had already started to move in anticipation of a leg-side stroke. That said, the fact it hit the grille means it wouldn’t have been out had he been caught by Elgar.
The word on the street is that the Guardian website is working again. So, welcome back, and apologies for the technical problems. That said, it’s quite nice to do an OBO where the technical issues are real rather than euphemistic.
65th over: England 249-5 (Root 115, Moeen Ali 26) Philander’s LBW appeal is caught in the throat because of an inside-edge from Moeen. This, surely, is Moeen’s best position. His scoring rate and selflessness make him a perfect No7. He averages 91 when he bats there, as compared to 21 at No6 and 28 at No8.
“Hi Rob,” says Andre. “How would one describe the fact (in the statistic you mention in over 54) that three of the five centuries in first Tests as captain for England were scored by South Africans?”
Banter? Factually incorrect? Disrespectful? Ignorant? Cow chutney? It’s hard to know.
64th over: England 245-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 23) Moeen faced Ashwin and Jadeja on dusty pitches in the winter, so Maharaj on day one at Lord’s is unlikely to disturb his equilibrium. He swaggers down the track to drive handsomely over wide mid-on for six four. Beautifully played.
“I am glad that before Moeen does something rash we have already had ‘gasmic Ali,” quivers Ian Copestake. “Those on the knee drives are probably practiced in the nets in front of a mirror.”
They are absolutely beautiful aren’t they. He must be our most elegant left-hander since David Ivon OBE.
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63rd over: England 238-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 16) Philander is back in place of Rabada. He has figures of 11-2-28-3 - he’s been the thriftiest bowler, and the most penetrative. A quiet over, two from it. I’m told my hapless strivings are even more futile than usual, because we have a technical problem on the website and the pages aren’t updating. Apologies for that. Not that you can read this apology.
“Hi Rob,” says Dixe Wills. “Currently sunning myself on an island in the Wadden Sea (breathless report of same coming to a Guardian Travel section near you soon) where the standard local greeting at any time of day is, ‘Moin!’ - pronounced ‘Moeen!’ Have been amusing myself today by pretending that everyone I meet simply can’t get enough of the England No7. Now a curious hush has fallen over the island and I’ve become a little apprehensive.”
I can’t wait until I go on holiday to Japan and England call up Arigatou Gozaimasu to bat No3.
62nd over: England 238-5 (Root 114, Moeen Ali 15) Root charges Maharaj and launches him down the ground for six. That, have some thereof. He laps four more later in the over. That has been a profitable shot; in fact he’s lapping Maharaj out of the attack.
This has been a terrific first day of the series - an even contest between bat and ball, with both sides on top at different stages and big players like Root and Philander excelling. Great stuff.
61st over: England 224-5 (Root 103, Moeen Ali 14) Moeen hooks Rabada in the air but well short of the lumbering Philander at deep backward square leg. You do worry about Moeen against the short ball in Australia. That’s the thing with Moeen: just when you are starting to write him off, he charms you afresh by lacing glorious cover-driven boundaries off consecutive deliveries. Beautiful.
“I’ll see your Justify Jim Love and raise you a Hanky Pankaj Singh,” says Gary Naylor, formulating a unique sentence in the history of mankind.
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60th over: England 213-5 (Root 102, Moeen Ali 4) Moeen gets off the mark from his 17th delivery, sweeping Maharaj firmly round the corner for four.
“So what you’re saying is that Root is the fourth England captain IN A ROW to score a hundred on their captaincy debut?” says Peter Salmon. “What a very strange record.”
Erm yes, correct.
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JOE ROOT REACHES HIS CENTURY!
59.1 overs: England 209-5 (Root 102, Moeen Ali 0) There it is! Root laps Maharaj for three to reach a century in his first innings as Test captain. He clenches his fist, kisses the badge and swishes his bat to the dressing room. On reflection, it was stupid to expect anything else. Root is a great batsman, an expert in seizing initiatives on the opening day of a series, and has the performance-enhancing status of being captain for the first time. It’s been an innings of increasing authority.
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59th over: England 206-5 (Root 99, Moeen Ali 0) Another single off Rabada takes Root to 99. Moeen, still on nought, inside-edges his 11th delivery safely on the leg side. Rabada is setting him up for the short ball here, with two men out.
58th over: England 205-5 (Root 98, Moeen Ali 0) A good over from Maharaj, who keeps Root waiting for his century.
“About Moeen, do you think he should be bumped up to No3 , Ballance to 5 and Bairstow to 7?” says Sachin Paul. “There’s something really unnatural about the way we line up now.”
Not for me Clive. Moeen has to bat No6 or lower, except in Asia. I like Root/Bairstow/Stokes from 4-6. Then I’d have a dasher like Moeen or Buttler at No7. No3 is a big problem though; I’ve no idea what the answer is. I agree that it doesn’t feel right at the moment, like a collection of batsmen rather than a batting line-up. I think they have too much of a good thing, that good thing being allrounders.
57th over: England 204-5 (Root 97, Moeen Ali 0) Root softens his hands to guide consecutive deliveries from Rabada to the third-man boundary. A single takes him to within three of a century.
56th over: England 195-5 (Root 88, Moeen Ali 0) Root skips back in his crease to flash Maharaj through point for four. The Test captaincy has had a negative impact on many fine England batsmen in the last 30 years - but rarely in the first year in charge. Gooch, Atherton, Stewart, Hussain, Strauss, Pietersen and Cook were all inspired to bat brilliantly at first. The problem comes when the novelty wears off and the regularness of captaincy starts to drag you down. Or when you get sacked after a few months.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Robin Durie. “Peter Salmon’s Heideggerian musings got me wondering - might he, by any chance, be related to Christopher V Salmon, who studied with Husserl in Freiburg in the 1920s, & wrote a phenomenological dissertation on Hume’s treatise that was published in Husserl’s “Jahrbuch”?”
55th over: England 190-5 (Root 83, Moeen Ali 0) This is a big summer for Moeen Ali, who has been an odd-job man in this England team for too much of his Test career. Batting at No7 and being the second spinner is probably his best chance of nailing down a position. On Sky, Shaun Pollock apologises for “some of the language you might have heard after the dismissal took place”. It would not be outlandish to speculate that said language probably emerged from Ben Stokes’s mouth.
WICKET! England 190-5 (Stokes c de Kock b Rabada 56)
No, Ben. Ben, no. Stokes has gone, top-edging a hook off Rabada through to de Kock. It was a good bouncer, too high for Stokes to control the shot. He’s angry with himself, as he should be really. It’s a soft dismissal at a time when England were in control.
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54th over: England 190-4 (Root 83, Stokes 56) Root laps Maharaj fine for four to move into the eighties. Since you asked, five England batsmen have scored centuries in their first Test as captain: Archie MacLaren, Allan Lamb, Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook.
Meanwhile, here’s Simon McMahon on the subject of Madonna. “According to the gondolier, who’s a big cricket fan, the original title of the single that preceded Like A Virgin was Bodyline, but the video featuring a muscled Harold Larwood was deemed too obscene.”
53rd over: England 186-4 (Root 79, Stokes 56) Rabada starts after tea, bowling around the wicket to Stokes. He times a lovely back-foot drive through the covers for four, gets a bit giddy and misses an extravagant pull next day.
“The last time I snuck a peek from behind the settee (it’s actually an Italian leather divan with inset cup-holders) England were in a huge hole, and now I look again and they are out of the hole and looking down another hole which the Saffers are staring out of,” says Ian Copestake. “Test cricket!”
Alright mate, no need to shout.
“Just a quick note to point out that, during this innings, young Master Stokes has hit that essential stat for an allrounder, in that his batting average (34.89) has crept over his bowling average (34.46),” says Keiran Betteley. “But just to keep us on the edge of our seats a little while longer, he needs another 11 runs (by my fag packet calculations) in this innings to keep it that way when (if?) he gets out. Stay on the edge of your seat...”
Handover time again. England won that session, easing their way back into the match with some quietly - and occasionally assertively - authoritative batting from Root and Stokes, who is reminding us that he is a magnificently correct and technical Test match batsman as well as a T20 megastar (in other parts of the world). I’ll hand you back to Rob now who, thanks to these lethargic over-rates, has 38 (count ’em!) overs to describe for you, during which England could conceivably go a long way to building a formidable total, or they could fold hopelessly at the loss of a wicket. Thanks for your company and emails. Bye.
Tea. England 182-4
52nd over: England 182-4 (Root 79, Stokes 52) Now Stokes does reach 50, with a standard-issue clip off his toes on the legside for two off De Bruyn. A single and an aggressively-run two complete the over. Root takes a slight knock on the quad which he emotes over sufficiently to see the clock past 3.40, and that’s tea. “Could I just say that Peter Salmon’s recent interjection [Salmon, P.; Over 46] is precisely the reason I read this OBO. But I imagine he knew that already,” smiles Anthony Pease.
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51st over: England 177-4 (Root 77, Stokes 49) Root rings in the 100 partnership with another flick through the legside, for two - that’s been a profitable area for him today. Morkel comes back with a lovely outswinger past Root’s dangled bat. Maybe time for two more overs before tea, but you wouldn’t bet heavily on it.
50th over: England 175-4 (Root 75, Stokes 49) “There’s a lot of guff talked about slow over rates,” roars Robin Hobbs. “My arguments as follows; 1. As opposed to the good old days when batsmen patted back spinners all day long, nowadays there are more quick bowlers with longer run-ups, plus the ball disappears to the boundary a lot more often. Generally cricket is felt to be more entertaining as a result. You can’t have it both ways. 2. Remove drinks breaks (unless it really is scorchingly hot). They’re professional sportsmen, and should be able to handle 2 hours without a drink (and anyway the fielders can always take one on the boundary).” De Bruyn sends down a tidy maiden to leave Stokes still one short of his half-century.
49th over: England 175-4 (Root 75, Stokes 49) Roots punishes a stray one from Morkel with an easily clipped two before failing inelegantly to punish another, hacking and missing outside off-stump. Two more on the onside follow before Morkel moves one off the seam smartly past Root’s outside edge.
@tomdaviesE17 With his overstepping and fielding, poor old Morne starts every innings on 0-0-20-0.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) July 6, 2017
48th over: England 171-4 (Root 71, Stokes 49) A new bowler, De Bruyn, comes in to send down his medium-quicks. Stokes treats them with respect, and has to dig out a decent attempted inswinging yorker, before Stokes gets four off a similar delivery, which he turns round the corner and gets four as Morkel can’t stop it without fumbling it over the line. The ground’s scoreboard says that’s his 50 but we know better (we think) - he’s on 49.
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47th over: England 167-4 (Root 71, Stokes 45) Philander is withdrawn from the attack; I guess there’s only so many overs you can do on the bounce in this heat (I found just going into the kitchen to do the washing up at lunchtime earlier a herculean struggle). Back comes Morkel, whose first ball is punched through extra-cover for a single by Root. And then - A MASSIVE LET OFF! Stokes plays on after being beaten for pace by a beauty that cut him in two, but it’s CALLED NO-BALL. Worse still, it ricochets off the stumps and goes to the fence. He’s a lucky boy is Stokes, and South Africa’s sloppy over-stepping is costing them. A single and a late cut for four from Root complete a truly exasperating over for South Africa.
“Disappointed by Brian Withington ascribing Cook’s dismissal to ‘just nicking it’ [Withington contra Copestake, over 42],” bellyaches Peter Salmon. “Everything that happens on a cricket field takes place has , of course, always already happened, and is, at any given moment, an absolute and unique ‘coming into Being’ of the latent possibilities inherent on the play of possible worlds. Cook could not, therefore, have done anything else but ‘nick it’, given the situation in which he found himself - to quote Heidegger - ‘thrown’. So yes, it is a simple game, but I think we need to unpack what we mean by ‘simple’.”
As an aside, when did edges behind start getting described as “nicking off”? Think I missed that meeting.
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46th over: England 156-4 (Root 66, Stokes 44) Stokes sweeps Maharaj forcefully to deep square leg for a gently ambled single, and Root pushes off the back foot for one more before Stokes ups the tempo with another sweep that this time beats the onrushing fielder and goes for four. In defence of these ponderous over rates, I suppose it is horribly, disgustingly hot out there.
45th over: England 150-4 (Root 65, Stokes 39) We’re in a sort of middle-overs meander stage here, with Lord’s, as it so often does on day one, echoing more to the contented burble of agreeable lunches being washed down rather than anything that might be called a cricket-enrapt atmosphere. Philander sends down another demanding, accurate maiden to which Root is dutiful and defensive.
44th over: England 150-4 (Root 65, Stokes 39) Maharaj finds some quite exaggerated turn, bringing one back in out of some nascent rough, but it’s nowhere near the stumps or Stokes’s bat. Stokes pushes down the ground for a leisurely single before another well-placed back-foot punch by Root square on the offside brings three – it would have been four but for a good diving save on the boundary rope by Bavuma. This over-rate is desperate, even with the spinner on.
43rd over: England 146-4 (Root 62, Stokes 38) Much commentariat consternation at the DRS rule anomaly that South Africa wouldn’t have lost a review had that Rabada delivery been called a no-ball, but as it wasn’t, they do. A misfield from Rabada, letting it through his legs, brings the only run of the over from Philander, who’s keeping England’s momentum in check.
42nd over: England 145-4 (Root 62, Stokes 37) Root shuffles forward smartly to meet Maharaj’s ball on the full and send it skidding to the deep midwicket boundary. Five from the over in all. “Loved Ian Copestake’s meta analysis (over 32) of Cook’s dismissal as being due to the loss of captaincy pressure,” yelps Brian Withington. “Whilst Nasser suggested that it was because the man is in too good form this season (producing an uncharacteristic surfeit of confidence). At a more humble level I thought he just nicked one.” It’s a simple game.
41st over: England 140-4 (Root 58, Stokes 36) South Africa’s man o’ the day, Vernon Philander, returns. Stokes takes a single but isn’t going to take him on. It’s still good, tight wicket-to-wicket stuff landing in the corridor of angst.
“I’m not too sure about Madonna’s motives for Justify Jim Love (38th over),” suggests Anthony Pease, “but I think we should all take a second to appreciate the remarkable prescience of Rupert Holmes when he included the lines ‘If you’re Kagiso Rabada,Or maybe Theunis de Bruyn’ in one chorus of his Piña Colada song. That was written in 1979. I’m not a superstitious person, but that man should be burned as a witch.”
40th over: England 139-4 (Root 58, Stokes 35) We could be in for a long old evening session if this over-rate continues, even with Maharaj twirling away at one end. Here he keeps Stokes honest with one pushed through straight and quicker, before conceding a single with a legside nudge before Root threads a deliciously timed push on the offside through the gaps for four up the slope.
39th over: England 134-4 (Root 54, Stokes 34) Welcome back everyone. Stokes, especially, and Root seemed to have got into the groove somewhat since I was last with you, and the conditions have become more innocuous for bowlers. Easy life being a middle-order batsman innit?
Third umpires just making things up as they go along always bodes well for later banter. Good signs.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 6, 2017
They are taking drinks after that review, so I’ll hand you over to Tom Davies until tea.
REVIEW! England 134-4 (Root not out 54)
Yes, he missed it by a mile. There would have been controversy had he hit it, because Rabada seemed to overstep yet the third umpire did not deem it to be a no-ball.
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39th over: England 134-4 (Root 54, Stokes 34) The boos ring round Lord’s as Joe Root works Rabada for a single to reach an important half-century from 89 balls. He has not been at his best, though in many ways that makes it a more impressive innings. A very smooth swivel-pull beats the man at fine leg to give him his eighth boundary. One thing you would expect Root to improve as captain is a poor conversion rate: he now has 28 fifties and 11 hundreds. Captains tend to deal in big hundreds. Ah, now there’s a review against Root! He tried to pull Rabada again, and the ball ended up in the hands of slip. It seemed to be off the helmet but South Africa have gone for a tactical review.
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38th over: England 128-4 (Root 49, Stokes 32) Maharaj now has a long on in place for Stokes, who is content to push a safe single down the ground. Another single for Root takes him to 49.
“Interesting point about Madonna, Rob,” lies Phil Sawyer. “Like a Virgin was released in October 1984, so we can be reasonably certain that she was tuning in to the West Indies utter humiliation of England earlier in the summer during the video shoot. Given how the England bats fared when faced with that attack of Marshall, Holding , Garner and Baptiste, perhaps Like a Bunny would have been a more appropriate title?”
Nothing will top her erotic masterpiece, Justify Jim Love.
37th over: England 126-4 (Root 48, Stokes 32) A single from Stokes off Rabada brings up an important fifty partnership. Batting looks a lot more comfortable than it did this morning, even if Root isn’t at his fluent best.
36th over: England 125-4 (Root 48, Stokes 31) Stokes launches Maharaj down the ground again. This time he doesn’t quite get hold of it and it lands just in front of Duminy, charging towards the long-on boundary. He can’t take the catch or stop the boundary, though it was a good effort.
“Whilst we’re discussing England’s batting frailties, we ought not to lose sight of the fact that South Africa aren’t exactly stacked with top-quality batsmen, either,” says Richard O’Hagan Look at that side from 14 (eek!) years ago and only Amla of the current lot would get into it.” That’s true, though du Plessis would get in as well when he returns. That 2003 series was so much fun, a bit of a forgotten classic.
35th over: England 120-4 (Root 48, Stokes 26) Rabada hasn’t been at his formidable best today. It might be a slope thing; that said, he bowled superbly here in the ODI earlier in the summer. A quiet over, one from it.
“That Madonna thing sounds a bit like the moon landing,” says Steve Hudson. “Apparently they had to have several takes of the ‘one small step for man’ shot because Neil Armstrong kept asking Mission Control if Brian Luckhurst was off the mark yet.”
34th over: England 118-4 (Root 48, Stokes 25) The spinner Maharaj replaces Morkel. Stokes states his intent by charging the second ball to drive a delightful straight six. Stokes’s capacity for destruction sometimes obscures what a beautiful-looking batsman he is, particularly when he hits straight.
“Rob!” sniffs Paul Tooby. “ You’re just the man I hoped to see on duty this afternoon, although I hadn’t hoped to see four down already. I rather hope that you and many of your readers will enjoy my recent trio of blog posts. It’s a sort of overview of Test cricket history up until 11am this morning, built around hypothetical team lists. It’s Statsguru in prose form, if you like; catnip to OBOers, with any luck. Here you are.”
Statsguru in prose form? Why would you turn poetry into prose?
33rd over: England 111-4 (Root 48, Stokes 18) Root and Stokes have played with impressive authority since lunch. The false strokes have been isolated and Stokes in particular has played some fine attacking shots. You have permission to be tentatively hopeful, is what I’m saying.
“Is Ballance the batting equivalent of Hull City, too good for the County Championship but not good enough for Test cricket, so destined to yo-yo between the levels as the football club have flitted in and out of the Premier League?” says David Wall. “I suppose there are worse places to be than Hull, but perhaps he could do a West Brom and stabilise at the higher level with the right guidance. Does anyone know if Tony Pulis can coach a forward defensive?”
32nd over: England 108-4 (Root 46, Stokes 17) Stokes demonstrates his enormous class with a princely straight drive for four off Morkel. He played that shot a fair bit during that remarkable maiden Test century at Perth in 2013-14. It’s going to be all kinds of fun watching him get feisty in Australia again, at least until England go 2-0 down after two Tests.
“Cook’s dismissal revealed a new layer to the ever unpeeling onion of modern psychology, that of feeling the pressure of being unburdened from the burden of captaincy,” says Ian Copestake. “It’s what I like to call meta-pressure, but what older relatives call the inevitable result of no longer having to do national service.”
31st over: England 102-4 (Root 45, Stokes 12) Stokes reaches for a very wide half-volley from Rabada, edging it through the vacant third slip area for four. It might have been too high to catch anyway but it was a loose stroke. He has looked good apart from that, very certain in defence.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “I don’t normally get to do the exotic travelogue email thing, but I’m currently following the OBO from a gondola on the Grand Canal in Venice. Apparently there are things to see here, but well, you know, it’s the first day of the English Test summer and all that. A man’s got to have his priorities right. Right?”
Exactly. Not many people know that, while she was cavorting lasciviously on a gondola in the video for Like a Virgin, Madonna kept asking the director for the cricket score.
30th over: England 98-4 (Root 45, Stokes 8) Root is turned round by Morkel and gets a leading edge into the off side. He and Stokes should, in theory, make a for successful, complementary partnership. Their record together isn’t that great, though they did put on a thrilling stand of 161 here two years ago to kickstart the new age of English Test cricket. This partnership feels so important, even at this early stage of the game. Root moves to within five of a half-century by forcing Morkel through backward point for four.
29th over: England 94-4 (Root 41, Stokes 8) Rabada goes around the wicket to Stokes, who muscles a superb back-foot drive through extra cover for four. Rabada and Morkel both played when Stokes smashed that astonishing 258 at Cape Town in the last series between the sides.
28th over: England 90-4 (Root 41, Stokes 4) Morkel slips another straightener past Root’s outside edge. He’s been beaten a lot outside off stump today, although that’s more down the quality of the bowling than anything else.
“Point taken about Ballance, for me it’s more the manner in which he bats,” says James Tyldesley. “His inability to ever get on top of the bowling makes him a walking wicket. Granted his average is better than Stokes and Mooen, but at least they inspire you to want to watch them bat. Coming in at No3, Ballance shifts the entire balance (pun not necessarily intended, I really couldn’t think of another word) in the bowling team’s favour. Their either going to get him out, or be in a very similar position about 25 overs down the line. Root coming in at 3 allows England to counter punch and gives the bowlers something to think about. In the age of T20, ODI supremacy, Cook batting with Ballance is a Test match naysayers dream.”
Yes, I agree about Ballance - you can’t see him making big runs against great bowlers - although Cook is much more attacking these days. His strike rate in the Tests last summer was 61. I think most people would prefer a different balance, with a strokemaker at No2 or No3 and a blocker at No5. Then again, a similar structure to this did no harm when England were the best in the world in 2010-11. The biggest problem for England is a simple lack of runs.
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27th over: England 88-4 (Root 39, Stokes 4) Kagiso Rabada starts from the other end. He’ll be especially keen to bowl here, as he is not particularly fond of Root or Stokes. He starts with a competent maiden to Stokes.
26th over: England 88-4 (Root 39, Stokes 4) Morkel starts after lunch, beating Root with a beautiful delivery that straightens off the pitch. Root responds with an efficient flick to the square-leg boundary. It’s usually a huge advantage to bat first at Lord’s, so England need to stay in the game for as long as possible. They would have wanted 450 this morning but even 300 would keep them in the match. What they can’t do is repeat Michael Vaughan’s first morning as Test captain.
“Hi Rob,” says Gary Naylor. “An interesting morning for those interested in how aggression has changed in Test cricket. Forty or so years ago, manifest aggression came from the bowlers with their bumpers and bouncers and the occasional whispered threat to ‘go round the wicket and...’, well, you know the quote. Nowadays, it comes from the batsmen, going hard at the ball with sleeper-sized lumps of wood as light as a Potterish wand. But bowlers can still be aggressive too, working on the egos, giving nothing on the legs, “You-miss-I-hit”-ing until the batsmen is well and truly frazzled. Rabada and Philander seem particularly adept at this new bowling aggression and England’s macho men are being found out.”
Hmm, interesting point. I agree generally, but were England that macho this morning? I thought that, as Bumble said on Sky, they were a bit dopey more than anything.
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“Ballance musings,” says James Tyldesley. “He’s awful. Absolutely awful. Even when he’s good he’s awful.”
He’s the second highest scorer in the innings and his Test average is higher than those of Stokes and Moeen. But yes, it’s hard to see him succeeding as a Test No3, particularly when two of the next three series are against the pace attacks of South Africa and Australia. I feel sorry for him though; he’s a bit of a lightning rod. There are bigger problems in this batting unit than Ballance.
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Hello folks. Vernon Philander is the innocuous bogeyman of world cricket. He may bowl at around 80mph but he’s a crafty new-ball expert who interrogates the batsmen with his relentless wicket-to-wicket line. His average of 22.14 is the best of any current Test bowler with at least 20 wickets. This morning he bowled wicket to wicket to wicket, taking three for 24 - including the huge wicket of Jonny Bairstow just before lunch - to leave England in a bit of bother at 82 for four.
Joe Root, who seemed incredibly nervous when he was interviewed at the etoss, made a slightly streaky 33 not out. As ever, the England captain is heavily depending on Root’s runs; it just happens he’s the captain now.
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So that was South Africa’s morning - they lost the toss but found the requisite pace, bounce, line and length to peg back England, who’ve never really got on top at any point, their progress punctuated by regular losses of wickets, with unconvincing shots (and DRS decisions) to the fore. And not for the first time England are looking to Root and Stokes to get them going. It’s a salivating prospect, and Rob Smyth will feed you until the middle of the next session. Laters, y’all.
Lunch. England 82-4
25th over: England 82-4 (Root 33, Stokes 4). Philander discomforts England again, bringing one back into Root and striking him awkwardly on the thigh. He’s been tremendous. Root clips a single to mid-on to put Stokes on strike with two balls of the session remaining. Good probing bowling is then met with good correct defensive shots. And that’s lunch.
24th over: England 81-4 (Root 32, Stokes 4). Root unearths his inner Jonathan Trott and strategically delays Maharaj with shufflings, adjustings and generally anything he can do to make this the last over before lunch. Maharaj responds by rushing through the over as quick as he can. A deft low sweep for one aids Root’s plans, which is cue for more exaggerated pitch-prodding, but South Africa are taking their time in the field too, switching things round mid-over. But there’s time for one more over.
23rd over: England 80-4 (Root 31, Stokes 4). Philander finds some more aesthetically pleasing movement away from Bairstow, but then dismisses him with a faster one that arrows into his pads – he’s trapped on the crease and looks bang to rights. And yet replays show it might have been too high. Which means we have Stokes in before lunch, and he helps himself straight away to an appetising buffet ball from Philander, a half-tracker that he flicks away contemptuously for four.
“Afternoon Tom.” Afternoon Lee Smith. “As many a follower of the CountyLive! blog manned by the admirable Will Macpherson will attest to, this is now the time for Lanky inspired DOOM. Galoshes are currently being adorned ready for the Precipitation Shuffle, and someone somewhere in summertime is tuning up a ukulele!”
Wicket! Bairstow lbw b Philander 10, England 76-4
Philander has three. He beats Bairstow’s defence and nails him plumb in front. A mighty breakthrough just before lunch.
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21st over: England 76-3 (Root 31, Bairstow 10). Bairstow makes room for himself to cut a slightly shorter Maharaj ball away for a swift single, and Root adds another after deft footwork helps him drive to mid-on. It’s the second of three urgently scurried ones before Maharaj pushes a quicker arm ball in at Bairstow, who inside-edges behind unconvincingly.
21st over: England 73-3 (Root 30, Bairstow 8). Philander, excellent earlier, also switches end and has a go from the Nursery/contentious-planning-issue End, which you’d think would suit his fuller length and movement away from the right-hander off the seam. Root’s duly cautious against it, and waits for a more wayward delivery, which arrives when Philander strays into his pads, which he flicks away elegantly through midwicket for his fifth boundary. Root just accumulates fours even when you don’t think he’s being particularly expansive.
20th over: England 69-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 8). The first change of pace. The left-arm spinner Keshav Maharaj gets his first bowl in his eighth Test. He’s round the wicket from the pavilion end at Bairstow, who toe-ends a misjudged sweep and it just dribbles out to the man at short leg. Shane Warne in the commentary box reckons Maharaj should have been given the nursery end, but he begins with a maiden nonetheless. Tidy and tight, if not extracting great turn.
19th over: England 69-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 8). Rabada overpitches and Root cashes in, clipping firmly through midwicket for four. It’s the only scoring shot of an otherwise decent over though. “England not giving enough respect to the SA bowlers nor to a pitch that has a bit in it. Confidence bleeding into arrogance,” blasts Gary Naylor. Indeed. That, and England still just not looking sure of themselves in general at the top of the order. Plenty of work still to be done.
18th over: England 65-3 (Root 22, Bairstow 8). Root’s edge is found again, by Morkel, but this one bounces before being fumbled in the slips at the cost of one run. Morkel continues to bang it in though and South Africa continue to have their tails up.
“So I was going to add to the classical music shenanigans but my Orkestra pun would doubtless lead to both brave Ork warriors throwing away their wickets and I couldn’t live with that guilt...” writes Andy Wilson. This correspondence is perilously/reassuringly close to being closed.
17th over: England 64-3 (Root 21, Bairstow 8). Two of Root’s boundaries this morning have been distinctly fortunate – this one follows a loose drive that is edged swiftly to and through JP Duminy in the slips, the fielder able only to parry it to the ropes. A well-scampered single of just the sort England need follows before Rabada also finds Bairstow’s edge, but he’s on top of it more and it bounces before reaching Duminy.
“Oh how cruelly predictable that a review would be squandered on behalf of “bang to rights” Ballance after the denial of “framed up” Jennings,” thunders Brian Withington. “I trust no-one will suggest any conscious selfishness on the part of GB! I can just imagine how another Yorkshireman batsman of yore would have approached the issue of DRS use ...”
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16th over: England 59-3 (Root 16, Bairstow 8). I’m wondering whether I might have fancied a bowl on this had I won the toss (not that you’d want me anywhere near the team). Morkel’s finding bounce and movement here. Root glances a fuller ball away for a single though before Bairstow is beaten by a jaffer that jags away off the seam. The comeback shot is excellent though, a rasping square cut for four.
Yorkshire need to #digin here...
— Fred Boycott (@FredBoycott) July 6, 2017
15th over: England 54-3 (Root 15, Bairstow 4). A misfield brings Root the single that takes England to 50 but they are in real bother here. Rabada demonstrates the point by zipping an outswinger past the new man Bairstow’s outside edge – his best ball so far. A low-ish inswinger also asks questions but Bairstow fends away defensively before a well-timed late nudge past the slips goes for four and gets him off the mark.
14th over: England 49-3 (Root 14, Bairstow 0). Root cuts and misses outside off from Morkel - there was plenty of pace and menace in the delivery but he should have done better with that – before a regulation push through the offside brings him a single. Morkel continues to find some zest and bounce from this surface, but it’s a length ball, speared in at Ballance, that does the trick, snaring the No3 after a review.
My OBO colleague Tim de Lisle is a demanding taskmaster:
.@tomdaviesE17 Plot thickens @HomeOfCricket. Ballance has to get 50 to repay Root's faith, and 50 more to atone for dud advice to Jennings
— Tim de Lisle (@TimdeLisle) July 6, 2017
Wicket! Ballance lbw b Morkel 20, England 49-3
Ballance is struck in front. Morkel appeals. The finger goes up, and this time Ballance does review, for all the good it does him – ball-tracking shows it hitting between middle and leg, and England are three down.
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And during this brief interlude, why not have a read of Ali Martin’s interview with Temba Bavuma:
13th over: England 48-2 (Ballance 20, Root 13). Rabada’s radar hasn’t been completely consistent so far, but he doesn’t give Ballance too much from which he can score, so he doesn’t. And that’s drinks.
More so-called classical music humour: “Would Matthew Haydn get a big score, or would he be Chopin on?” bellows Andrew Miles.
12th over: England 48-2 (Ballance 20, Root 13). Morkel switches ends, returning at the Pavilion End from where he can use the slope away from the lefties and into the righties. He’s round the wicket at Ballance, who beautifully smites a full one outside off through the covers for four. Morkel’s comeback ball is speared into the top of Ballance’s pads and sparks a Billy no-mates appeal - the bowler fancies it but no one else does. A legside flick for two ensues and three more complete a productive over.
“To Michael McCarthy,” writes Helena Chadd and no other pedants, “Handel was not a German: he became a naturalised Englishman. Indeed he would have qualified to play for England.” Will that put a stop to the punnery? My mailbox suggests not.
11th over: England 38-2 (Ballance 11, Root 12). A let-off boundary for Root! Rabada tries out a shorter one at him and the England captain top-edges an unconvincing hook shot and it just – just! -clears the fielder at deep square leg, Morkel. A better shot - an assertive punch square on the offside – then brings him three.
John Starbuck gets inside my head and coheres the following thoughts: “The reason why DRS was resisted for so long in the first place was a desire not to be seen questioning the authority of umpires, which might itself undermine the integrity of the game. It took a while for such attitudes to change - they may have been right to do so - but a third umpire heavily and constantly involved in DRS options would certainly slow down play even more. Don’t look for such a change until well into the next decade, when, one hopes, the technology will have improved more.”
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9th over: England 31-2 (Ballance 11, Root 5). At last: meaty cover drives - Ballance meets a slightly overpitched delivery outside off with a pleasing two and follows it up by creaming one with precision timing through the covers for four. In between those shots he’s cut in half by an absolute pearler that jags away off the scrambled seam.
“Sorry I’m bored,” confesses Chris Bull. “For what it’s worth.. Root vs Flower, Tudor Vs Stewart, Read Vs Wright, Bishop Vs Pope, Plunkett Vs McClean(Nixon) , Lambert(Clayton) Vs Butler, Mills Vs Boon, Reeve Vs Alderman...help me, make it stop.” I gladly can and gladly will if you want.
9th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Root is watchful to Rabada outside off-stump, and when he does attempt a square cut, he lacks for room and is beaten for pace and accuracy. He’s unable or unwilling to cut loose just yet, but he’s up against some pretty decent bowling. Another maiden.
“If the review system is there to correct obvious errors then why doesn’t the third umpire simply say ‘That wasn’t out’ like in rugby - try or no try,” writes Steve Ditchburn. “Why limit the reviews to the batting or bowling side if the main aim is to get rid of errors?” I’m not completely sure I agree. I think there’s a tendency to “over-medicalise” top-level sport through calling for technology and extra adjudication for every small thing. I think the balance between human judgment and technical accuracy is about right now.
8th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Philander continues - he’s enjoying this new ball, this slope, and this chance to ask questions of left-handers – and keeps Ballance on the defensive with his nice varieties. A maiden.
I'm looking right down the pitch and I'm amazed that England did not review that LBW. Looked to have pitched well outside leg @tomdaviesE17
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) July 6, 2017
7th over: England 24-2 (Ballance 5, Root 5). Rabada is the first bowling change, replacing Morkel at the nursery end, the same end from which he wrought some havoc in the ODI here earlier in the summer. Him v Root should be a proper contest, and the England captain strikes an early blow with a clever upper cut over the slips for four. Then we see the first one that keeps a bit low, Root grubbing and missing outside off
“How did the German baroque composer get out?” quips the here-all-week Mike McCarthy. “He Handel-ed the ball.”
6th over: England 20-2 (Ballance 5, Root 1). Philander strikes again, dismissing Jennings with an inswinger that ball-tracker shows to have pitched fractionally outside leg, yet the batsmen decide against a review. Ooh, that looks a trick missed. And it means England are in trouble here. Root gets a hearty chorus of “Roooooot!” as he comes out and his first ball as captain is clipped confidently away for one. Ballance adds another single, and England need a bit of a Yorkshire rescue act now from this pair. It’s fine, probing, weakness-identifying bowling from Philander though.
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Wicket! Jennings lbw b Philander 8, England 17-2
Philander snares a left-hander again, bringing one into Jennings, hitting him in front of leg stump. They confer long and hard about a review, but opt not to, surprisingly. That didn’t look completely plumb on first look.
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5th over: England 17-1 (Jennings 8, Ballance 3). Morkel is round the wicket and a little fuller, though still pretty damn quick, at Ballance, who’s defensively orthodox, and sees out a maiden. “Regarding Matthew Doherty’s 3rd over missive, there’s a classical composer pun run in here, I think,” writes Sean Clayton, not at all stretching the day’s first attempted running gag to a swift early breaking point, “How about Sir Vivaldi Richards for starters …with the team managed by (Ali) Bach(er), I presume.”
4th over: England 17-1 (Jennings 8, Ballance 3). Philander takes full advantage of Cook’s early unease, finding his edge as he slants it down the slope and moves it off the pitch, but Cook didn’t get his feet to the pitch of that at all. It gives Ballance an early introduction – this is going to be a trying period for he and Jennings - and he too is tested outside off-stump by Philander’s outswinger, playing and missing at his third ball before getting off the mark with a dab through backward point for three.
Wicket! Cook c De Kock b Philander 3, England 14-1
Cook fishes outside off and nicks through to De Kock behind the stumps. Regulation stuff really, and surprisingly uncomfortable, tentative batting from a man who’s been swimming in runs all summer.
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3rd over: England 14-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 8). Jennings is off the mark with a four, artfully fending off another short sharp delivery and seeing it zip down to the fine-leg boundary. Rather less artful is his subsequent shot, a footwork-free stretch at a wide full one outside off-stump that he plays and misses. He atones though with another four, a well-timed flick through midwicket. No run has been scored on the offside yet, wagon-wheel fans.
“Can I be the millionth person to say why can’t it be Strauss Vs Elgar?” asks Matthew Doherty. No you can’t Matthew, you can be the first. We don’t get a classical crowd in here, evidently.
2nd over: England 5-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0). Philander gets the new ball at the Pavilion End, and looks to test Cook on the drive with his fuller-length deliveries. Three dots precede a no-ball, the first of two in this over, before Cook clips an inswinger down to deep square leg for two. It’s upwards of 26 degrees out there and cracks are visible in the pitch already.
1st over: England 1-0 (Cook 1, Jennings 0). Morkel opens up from the Nursery End, and he starts with a bit of a snorter slanted across Cook at upper-chest level that the left-hander tentatively gets out of the away of. A clip on the legside for a single secures Alastair Cook’s first post-captaincy run. Morkel switches to round the wicket at Jennings, who begins his Test summer with a couple of well-judged leaves.
Ian Copestake’s mask of sanity threatens to be a thing today, already. “Morning Tom,” writes John Starbuck. “Can you persuade Ian Copestake to give us updates on his manic fielding positions as there match progresses, please? We’ll know it’s really gone wrong when he appears at deep third man.”
Oh, and don’t forget to dip into Will’s county live blog as and when:
One more missive before we start, a plug from our mate Joe Neate: “Once again a motley group of part-time OBO readers are heading off for our fifth year on a couple of jaunts to play cricket, one in Brighton in mid-August, and then across in Italy in mid-September. You can read about our previous exploits here - http://oboccasionals.weebly.com/ - and if you’re interested in turning out for us, any and all abilities are absolutely welcome. We also welcome umpires, scorers, spectators or people just want to ride a Vespa around a provincial Italian town. If you’re interested in either trip, drop me a mail at joe.neate@gmail.com
“Oh, and we’re also looking for a third team to join us for the Italy weekend, in case there was a touring team out there looking for a fun weekend. The tours are always AMAZING fun. It’s a great group of people, all games are played in the right spirit, and we always fit in a smidgen of something culture-y, as befitting a group of Guardian readers. It’s not all cricket and gin and tonics. Honest. Anyway, give it a go, you won’t regret it!”
Some emails from you the public, before we get underway, starting with Mike Daniels: “Can I give a shout out today to Tony (Tiny) Allom (Son of Maurice) who will be attending this Test? It’s probably going to be his last due to ill-health. A wonderful man who has a treasure trove of Cricket stories/memories. Was even on Peter May’s stag night and held the record at one stage of being the tallest ever first-class Cricketer. Enjoy, Tony.” Enjoy indeed.
“Funny team England have got,” sniffs Chris Evans. “Really think Rashid did enough to get a home series when he could be an attacking threat, especially at the tail. The late start to the season has done for Has as well. He was brilliant in the winter but has had too many opportunities to play himself out of form. A usual May start to the tests would have seen him in the team I’m sure.” I’d have liked to see Rashid get a decent run in home Tests too. And Chris contines: “In bigger cricket news though, my son, through a variety a drop outs has been vaulted from his under 11 3rds to making his first team debut tonight. Apart from block the straight ones and whack the wide ones I’ve told him just to enjoy himself. He’s a leggie as well but as he’s only 9 he can struggle to get it to the other end at times! Test careers have to start somewhere though.”
“I have all the characteristics of a cricket loving human being,” boasts Ian Copestake, sticking up for the Repressed Community “blood, flesh, skin, (some) hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed for Test matches and disgust at their absence. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. Alan Donald’s nightly bloodlust (in that over against Athers) has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to be moved to second slip.”
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The teams
England (as already known): Cook, Jennings, Ballance, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Ali, Dawson, Broad, Wood, Anderson
South Africa: Elgar, Kuhn, Amla, Duminy, Bavuma, De Bruyn, De Kock, Maharaj, Rabada, Morkel, Philander.
So Theunis De Bruyn gets a second Test call-up, preferred to the combative Chris Morris.
England win the toss and bat!
Root reckons the pitch looks good but might deteriorate as the game goes on; he doesn’t hesitate to opt to bat. Elgar says “he’s extremely proud, extremely excited” about leading his team.
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Some pre-match chat on Sky with Joe Root, who looks characteristically relaxed, not least on the subject of the team selection, about which he assures us that County Championship run machine Garry Ballance is “looking a completely different player” from the wobbly No3 of his most recent England appearances. He also unfurls a rather unconvincing Bob Willis impression. Banter! While out among the pundits, Nasser Hussain reckons there’s a bit of green on the pitch and it won’t be an easy toss to win. And that the Weather Boffins suggest thunderstorms may miss Lord’s today.
Annual recycling of this tweet https://t.co/Xi4u8IHwDv
— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) July 6, 2017
Pre-match reading. Immerse yourself in the golden summer of 1998 – a world away now, in many ways – with Smyth’s compelling look back at England’s epic, and tetchy, series win:
Preamble
Morning everyone. To the apparently dwindling band of us who set our summer rhythms by Test match schedules, these are disorientating times. Here we are, the nights drawing in (hold that thought), well into Wimbledon, with the new football fixtures out, and we’ve still not had any Test cricket in England this year. But at last, today, it’s back! And for all that we’re assailed daily with reports that Ben Stokes or Joe Root are now less likely to be recognised in a supermarket than the south-east under-21 mixed martial digital keepy-uppy online show-off champion 2016 or whatever, we can and must salute the five-day game’s return.
Test cricket remains the finest sport available to humanity, and its underexposure and short-sighted administration in recent times is society’s crime, not ours. And it’s back! And not just for any old series either. Series against South Africa have consistently been the most compelling and close-fought of any England have faced in the past few decades. From Devon Malcom’s Oval carnage in 1994, to Atherton staring down gloriously undiluted aggression in Johannesburg and Nottingham in 95 and 98, through the 2-2 draw in 2003 (one of the great forgotten Test series – who now salutes the decisive roles played by James Kirtley and Martin Bicknell?), Hoggard’s seven-for at the Wanderers, Smith forcing teary resignations out of Nasser and Vaughan, Collingwood and Onions digging in in 2010, Amla’s triple-century two years later, to Ben Stokes’s beautifully brutal Cape Town assault … I could go on. Encounters between these two are overloaded with great memories.
And astonishingly, for this era, the home side almost never wins. There hasn’t been a home victory in an England-South Africa series this millennium, and the home side have never even led at any point in any of them.
So can England break that statistical zinger at Lord’s this week? They’ll have to believe they can, on the first day of a new era under the leadership of Joe Root, a cricketer with little captaincy experience but oodles of Test pedigree and competitive smarts. He leads a team still in transition, unsure of their top order and with their old fast bowling warhorses, Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson, in their career-autumn years and forever the subject of fitness-worry reports. A key all-rounder is out injured, and they still seem unsure of how to deploy their spin bowling resources, such as they are.
But if England’s overall red-ball strength is hard to gauge, so is South Africa’s. Having for years boasted arguably the most destructive batsman and fast bowler in world cricket in AB De Villiers and Dale Steyn, they enter this series with neither available, and their captain Faf du Plessis also sitting this first Test out for family reasons following the birth of he and his wife Imari’s first child. Their one-day cricketers have also had a pretty dismal tour, but you wouldn’t too easily bet against a side containing the likes of Hashim Amla, Quinton de Kock, Morne Morkel and the wonderfully watchable fast bowler Kagiso Rabado. They also come into this series on the back of away series wins in New Zealand and Australia, while England were being eviscerated by India around the same time. Dean Elgar should prove a capable stand-in for Du Plessis here too, having thrived in the English county game this summer.
So I’m bang up for this. And you should be too. Kick back and enjoy. Play starts at 11am BST.
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