Vic Marks' match report
We’re back again on Saturday. Join us then as England and South Africa ring the changes ahead of the Champs Trophy. Bye!
“If he scored no runs and took no wickets, I’d still pick him again. I have that much faith in him!” A strong statement from Eoin Morgan on Moeen Ali, who many felt should have missed out for Jonny Bairstow. Ali’s 77 from 51 balls gave Morgan support and allowed England to kick on to that 30 or 40 more that de Villiers thought was crucial. The two for 50 sealed the man-of-the-match cheque.
England's 72 run win is their second biggest win in terms of runs v SA & SA's second biggest run defeat since the 2015 World Cup. #EngvSA
— Freddie Wilde (@fwildecricket) May 24, 2017
“I was very excited at that time,” says AB de Villiers when South Africa had dismissed Joe Buttler. This was at the beginning of the 25th over, with England 198-5, having been 101-1. “I think they got about 30 or 40 too many.”
MOM Speculation time. Probably Eoin Morgan? It’s already 9:30pm so it’ll be one less interview to do. Shame he isn’t South Africa skipper, too. Moeen Ali (77* & 2-50) and Chris Woakes the rivals
Woakes 8-0-38-4
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) May 24, 2017
Took 3-20 off his 20 back-of-a-length deliveries
0-8 from 18 good-length balls#ENGvSA
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England win by 72 runs!
WICKET! Rabada c Buttler b Woakes (South Africa 267 all out)
Wider, quicker and Rabada chases a delivery that he toes through to Buttler. Good catch, stretching to his left. Woakes has four and England have first blood!
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WICKET! Parnell c Wood b Woakes 19 (South Africa 267-9)
“A good old-fashioned hack” says Bumble. That’s exactly what it was. Parnell pulls high and too straight allowing Mark Wood at mid off to get under it.
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44th over: South Africa 266-8 (Parnell 19, Rabada 18) Oooo Rabada starts with a swipe through midwicket for four. Then finishes with a six over long off! What a strike.
43rd over: South Africa 253-8 (Parnell 18, Rabada 6) Plunkett’s back on to bowl his remaining two overs. He’s been the best on show, in my opinion. Found movement off the pitch when others couldn’t. Just as I finish typing that, Parnell plants his front foot and biffs over mid off (up in the circle), for four.
42nd over: South Africa 245-8 (Parnell 11, Rabada 5) Ali darts, Parnell reverse sweeps. Four to the score. Singles see out the over, including a lovely looking chip, right over Moeen Ali.
41st over: South Africa 236-8 (Parnell 4, Rabada 3) Joe Root comes into the attack to some underwhelming cheers. Think the Western Terrace are on the comedown. They may have perked up had Parnell hit his drive a bit harder and found Plunkett on the full, but it wasn’t to be. Neat over to start from Rooteh.
40th over: South Africa 232-8 (Parnell 2, Rabada 1) Ermmm.. Ben Stokes has dropped a catch. An easy one, too. Moeen Ali pitches one above the eyeline of Parnell who clears the front leg and hammers down the ground. Stokes is there, rushing, but is done by the flight and ends up chesting it down. Lovely touch for a big-ish man.
39th over: South Africa 230-8 (Parnell 1) Phehlukwayo survives an LBW appeal – umpire and the subsequent video assistance has it pitching outside leg – before sweeping Rashid hard for four. Tries to repeat the trick again and, you know what happens next... Rashid finishes with 2-69 from his 10.
WICKET! Phehlukwayo b Rashid 4 (South Africa 230-8)
Bowled around his legs, off his pads. Been that sort of day for South Africa...
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38th over: South Africa 225-7 (Phehlukwayo 0, Parnell 1)As soon as de Villiers strikes that, he knows he’s not got long left. Nor have South Africa.
WICKET! AB de Villiers c Plunkett b Ali 45 (South Africa 225-7)
As I was saying... bit of flight from Moeen and, well, I suppose de Villiers has to try and go for it himself. Not a clean contact and Plunkett steadies himself at square leg to take a regulation catch.
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37th over: South Africa 224-6 (de Villiers 45, Parnell 0) OK, so de Villiers has flicked a switch and I think we might be approaching that point in time when he just decides he’s going to win this. All hands, no feet, and Woakes is pumped to wide mid on for four. The bowler corrects his line but de Villiers skips down and gives it a slap shot through extra cover!
36th over: South Africa 216-6 (de Villiers 37, Parnell 0) Shambolic shots at one end and a confused AB de Villiers at the other. Wayne Parnell, who impressed with bat and ball for Kent earlier this season, is in for his audition of AB’s Next Top Partner.
WICKET! Morris c Buttler b Ali 5 (South Africa 216-6)
Typically, Moeen Ali gets Chris Morris out on the reverse sweep, as he has done many times in the past*.
*There’s no real evidence for this, but it is scientific fact.
35th over: South Africa 212-5 (de Villiers 37, Morris 1) Not a bad comeback over from Woakes. Ideal, really – grubbiest ball of the lot picks up a scalp. Chris Morris joins AB de Villiers, needing to start strongly like a car full of chips.
WICKET! Duminy c Stokes b Woakes 11 (South Africa 208-5)
Haha again! A loosener from Woakes is heaved to square leg and, once again, straight to the only fielder in the deep.
34th over: South Africa 208-4 (de Villiers 34, Miller 11) Bit of bite for Moeen means Miller can’t, or won’t, skip down to him. Two from the over.
“Gosh, it’s a small world. My knee has been playing up today too,” writes Damian Clarke. “Although it has been my right knee, so maybe the world is not quite that small.” I went for a run today so both of my knees ache. Does this count as an epidemic?
33rd over: South Africa 206-4 (de Villiers 33, Miller 10) And just like that, AB de Villiers is into the thirties. I didn’t notice and I’ve been glued. Flight outside off and de Villiers can get power Rashid, classily, through extra cover for four. Millers signs off the over with a six down the ground which has a spectator hurling himself into the black tarpaulin for the catch. Shelled, in emphatic fashion...
32nd over: South Africa 192-4 (de Villiers 27, Miller 2) Cheeky little reverse, dab-sweep from AB gets him three (Rashid hurls himself into the sponge to save the extra one). Like Rash, Moeen decides to finish with a long hop. However, AB doesn’t make JP’s mistake and finds four into midwicket. The asking rate is over eight, but de Villiers and go big and David Millers is, well....
David Miller in with SA 182/4. In a matter of minutes, you will hear him described thus: "Such a good, clean striker of a cricket ball."
— Tom Collomosse (@TomCStandard) May 24, 2017
31st over: South Africa 182-4 (de Villiers 19) “I too have had a sore left knee all day,” writes Phil Sawyer,” empathising with Stokes’ plight. “Sadly, England don’t miss my batting and bowling skills half as much. And yes, I’m using the word ‘skills’ there in its very loosest possible sense.” Rashid’s “skills” did for Duminy. There’s always a time and a place for “skills”.
WICKET! Duminy c Woakes b Rashid 15 (South Africa 182-4)
Oh, JP. Rashid drags one short – really short – and Duminy’s eyes light up. Head to the skies, he slaps firmly across the line... and finds the only man out on the leg side!
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30th over: South Africa 176-3 (de Villiers 17, Duminy 11) Five from the over mean it’s a fairly comfortable T20 chase of 164. Even with the absence of Stokes, England do of course have five who can bowl their straight 10. Joe Root might be able to burgle a couple of over, too.
29th over: South Africa 171-3 (de Villiers 14, Duminy 9) Rashid returns and it’s loose. Wide and down the legside to start. AB could let it go but he decides to put a bit on it for four in front of fine leg. Duminy then reads the googly, smoking it over cover. 10 off the over.
28th over: South Africa 161-3 (de Villiers 9, Duminy 4) Really seeing the value of Plunkett, here. Nowt in the pitch, but a combination of cross seam deliveries and Nordic shoulders is extracting a little extra from the ether. Duminy defends onto his foot and nearly pops a catch in the air. That kind of stuff
27th over: South Africa 159-3 (de Villiers 9, Duminy 2) Another expensive over from Mark Wood, albeit through searching for something extra rather than, say, being a bit rubbish. An attempted yorker is bunted down the ground by AB de Villiers. The Wood shuffle – running in straight then jumping wide of the crease – is picked off for four through wide midwicket.
26th over: South Africa 151-3 (de Villiers 1, Duminy 2) Weird one, that. The shot, that is. Plunkett’s work has probably deserved one in the wicket column. Have a look yourselves:
WICKET! @Liam628 gets Du Plessis caught behind for 67!
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) May 24, 2017
SA 149-2 #ENGvSA
Updates: https://t.co/I9jhwzDni3 pic.twitter.com/utquynm10N
WICKET! Faf du Plessis c Buttler b Plunkett 67 (South Africa 149-3)
Two in two overs! Faf tries to work the ball on the leg side when Plunkett’s putting it outside off with a bit of shape away from the right-hander. A slight leading edge through to Buttler and that’s two new batsmen at the crease...
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25th over: South Africa 145-2 (du Plessis 64, de Villiers 0) Good news: Amla’s out. Bad news: AB’s in.
WICKET! Amla LBW Wood 73 (South Africa 145-2)
From nowhere! Mark Wood with the breakthrough: full and a bit of movement off the surface traps Amla in front. The umpire originally says not out but Morgan reviews and the digital stumps are disturbed.
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24th over: South Africa 143-1 (Amla 72, du Plessis 63) Five runs off the over from Moeen Ali – just about his economy rate for the last couple of years – but it’s looking quite easy for South Africa. They’re able to play him off the pitch and trust the bounce enough to play square.
23rd over: South Africa 128-1 (Amla 68, du Plessis 62) A graphic comes up showing that Faf du Plessis is averaging over 80 in ODIs this year, just as England fans start to fret. Morgan turns to Mark Wood for a bit of incision, but Faf’s fours through square leg and a skipped slash through third man bring up the hundred partnership from 98 deliveries with Amla. Not great when you’ve just lost a bowler and one of your openers goes for 12...
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Latest news on Ben Stokes
ECB confirm Stokes off the field with a sore left knee
— Nick Hoult (@NHoultCricket) May 24, 2017
47-ball fifty up for Faf du Plessis
22nd over: South Africa 126-1 (Amla 67, du Plessis 51) Moeen Ali takes over from the departed Stokes. Bit of loop, mixed in with a few flatter deliveries keeps both Amla and Faf watchful. Still, a single brings up Faf’s 27th ODI fifty.
21st over: South Africa 122-1 (Amla 65, Faf 49) That’s eight overs to find for Morgan. Luckily for him, Rashid is looking like he could give him a neat 10. However, without having to risk much, Faf and Hash get seven from this over.
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20th over: South Africa 115-1 (Amla 60, du Plessis 47) Hmmmm... Stokes continues and it’s not great. The over itself is fine, apart from a short ball that Faf dispenses to deep midwicket for four. The pace is a good few MPH short and, at the end of the over, Stokes trudges off the field. Jonny Bairstow on as a sub.
19th over: South Africa 106-1 (Amla 57, du Plessis 41) Stokes is out on the boundary chatting to the England team doctor, stretching out his left leg. He’s popped a couple of pills so should be fine. Or distracted. An edge from du Plessis to Rashid falls just short of Joe Root at first slip.
18th over: South Africa 102-1 (Amla 55, du Plessis 39) Ah, here we are. The Million Dollar man Ben Stokes. Looks like a regulation field for him as he ushers third man back. That man is immediately in the game as a skewed edge – deliberate, to be fair – takes us to drinks.
PS: Ben Stokes is grimacing a bit here. Will keep a keen eye on any physio intervention in this mini interval.
17th over: South Africa 97-1 (Amla 53, du Plessis 36) Ooooo a whiff for England as Rashid gets Faf du Plessis to offer a leading edge... but through cover for four! Ah well...
Amla picks up his 32nd ODI fifty
16th over: South Africa 89-1 (Amla 52, du Plessis 31) Too straight from Plunkett and Amla steps across to tickle one down to fine leg for four to take him to his half-century. 49 deliveries for it, eight fours in there.
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15th over: South Africa 82-1 (Amla 47, du Plessis 29) Four from the over, all in singles, as the run rate sticks about five and the required rate nips above seven...
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14th over: South Africa (Amla 45, du Plessis 27) While Faf’s not picking Rashid, Amla seems to be having trouble picking up length from Plunkett. Extra height a factor? Mars’ two moons out of sync?
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13th over: South Africa 74-1 (Amla 44, du Plessis 25) Excellent from Rashid as he does a number on du Plessis with the last five. Atherton reckons Faf is not picking him, retracting cut shots and not leaving the crease with any real purpose.
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12th over: South Africa 73-1 (Amla 43, du Plessis 25) Proper Buddy Movie bowling partnership with Rashid and Plunkett. Twins is the one that springs to mind. Plunkett’s hitting the bat hard but looks to be waiting for one of these two to try and take him on.
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11th over: South Africa 69-1 (Amla 41, du Plessis 23) Proper leggie’s over that, as Adil Rashid comes on immediately after Power Play. Starts beating the outside edge, drops one short that Amla punishes through square leg, then does him with the googly for an inside edge away to the fine leg fence. Ten off the over and yet the England fielders and fans “ oooo” then applaud as Rash finishes up. Imagine not loving leg spin?
WICKET! @chriswoakes gets de Kock, good catch @josbuttler
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) May 24, 2017
SA 33-1 #ENGvSA
More live clips: https://t.co/I9jhwzDni3 pic.twitter.com/W3XK916p8k
10th over: South Africa 59-1 (Amla 32, du Plessis 22) Good one to follow from Plunkett. Sends a couple down at around 85mph, hitting the splice and stunning Faf’s palms. Just three from it.
9th over: South Africa 56-1 (Amla 30, du Plessis 21) Eeesh. Think I made a bit much of Woakes’ frugality. Mother Cricket’s given a bit back. Three wide deliveries are sent to midwicket, cover and point. Woakes scorned, Faf motoring...
8th over: South Africa 42-1 (Amla 30, du Plessis 7) Change in the bowling: North East quick for North East quick as Wood makes way for Liam Plunkett. Immediately, Faf whips him behind square but good work from Moeen saves two. He’s got a lot on his plate at the moment, does Mo. Can’t rest on his laurels after a handy 77* and the 10 overs he’s about to send down...
@MichaelVaughan Yes you did. Which is why you deleted your tweet ! 👍🏼 pic.twitter.com/8D3vDubDgV
— Sufyq (@sufyq) May 24, 2017
7th over: South Africa 38-1 (Amla 29, du Plessis 4) A wicket to start and then a first boundary off his bowling to end Woakes’ fourth over. Ah well. Faf du Plessis, number three, hairless, finds a gap through cover point to get off the mark with a four.
WICKET! De Kock c Buttler b Woakes 5 (South Africa 33-1)
Well he went for it, did de Kock. Woakes, though, wasn’t moving from his length. High and away to fine leg the ball goes... watch and taken well but Jos Buttler with the mitts.
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6th over: South Africa 33-0 (Amla 28, De Kock 5) Amla doesn’t mind a bit of pace on the ball, it seems. Wood goes through midwicket twice and finishes in the covers (steady).
5th over: South Africa 21-0 (Amla 16, De Kock 5) Woakes yet to concede a boundary, or a two as it happens. Just managing to sustain a length that’s not conducive to driving. Get the feeling that soon de Kock is going to go: “hello, my name’s Quinton de Kock, and this is a ping over square leg for six”.
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4th over: South Africa 18-0 (Amla 14, De Kock 4) Oh Mark. Full on the pads so Amla cocks the wrists and pulls the trigger through midwicket. Bread and butter. Wood moves to the posh side and Amla does the same through cover.
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3rd over: South Africa 9-0 (Amla 5, De Kock 4) Quality operator is Chris Woakes, with the 1980s New York journalist hairdo to boot. Fair play to Mr and Mrs Woakes for rearing such an upstanding bloke. If I ever have kids, I might send them off to the Woakeses.
2nd over: South Africa 7-0 (Amla 4, De Kock 3) No boundary just yet, but a three and two get the Proteas into a groove. Mark Wood’s pace allows de Kock to punt in front of square for that three.
Bit of a half-volley, but Adrian Shankar’s Wikipedia is great, not least for the bits that are true:
“After leaving Bedford School, where he had played cricket for the school alongside Alastair Cook, following his A Levels in 2000, Shankar proceeded to read law at Cambridge University. It was for the university cricket club that he made his first-class debut against Middlesex in 2002.”
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1st over: South Africa 1-0 (Amla 1, De Kock 0) Just one from the over but only thanks to an outstanding bit of cricket from Eoin Morgan. Chris Woakes, opening up, puts one in Quinton de Kock’s half, which is enough for him to punch on the up through cover. But Morgan puts in the Superman dive and grabs the ball cleanly in his left hand. So continues a grand 2017...
England's last 10 totals batting first in ODIs: 339, 328, 328, 296, 321, 350, 309, 302, 444, 324.
— Mazher Arshad (@MazherArshad) May 24, 2017
Average: 334#Transformation #ENGvRSA
Evening all. What a delight/surprise that was. Didn’t think England would get anywhere near this score at 198-5 but Eoin Morgan continued to defy those who reckon he’s passed it (that was his third hundred of 2017, as it happens). Let’s see if the bowling’s up to scratch. It’s been the weakest suit in this “revolutionary” white ball period.
“I wanted to draw your attention to this gem on Faf Du Plessis’s Wikipedia entry,” writes George Potter on email. This is very much up my street.
“Once, whilst batting at Bolton-le-Sands Cricket Club, he hit a 6 unfortunately breaking Mitch’s dad’s window. It’s okay though. Jeff’s cool”
“Any other entertaining ones?” Yes. Surely. Email them in to me on the comically long vithushan.ehantharajah.casual@theguardian.com or Tweet them to me on the cutesy @Vitu_E.
England set South Africa target of 340 to win
50th over: England 339-6 (Ali 77, Woakes 6) The last over, bowled by Morris, goes for 13 - with Moeen swiping the last ball of the innings into the crowd! He has played a sensational innings of 77 not out from 51 balls, with five sixes. He made 65 from his last 31 deliveries, and as a result South Africa have a tricky target of 340 to chase. Vish will be talk you through their labours. Thanks for your company, bye!
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49th over: England 326-6 (Ali 68, Woakes 2) With so little time left in the innings, I’d have been tempted to promote the fast-scoring Rashid or Plunkett above Woakes. No matter. Woakes gets Moeen back on strike and he pulls Rabada round the corner for four more. This is now his highest score batting down the order in ODIs; his centuries came while opening.
48th over: England 319-6 (Ali 63, Woakes 0) Moeen edges a big yahoo for four off Morris, to spoil an otherwise superb over for South Africa. Moeen has made 51 from his last 25 balls.
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WICKET! England 315-6 (Morgan c Duminy b Morris 107)
Morgan’s tremendous innings ends with a mishit to Duminy at mid-off. He played beautifully, setting the tone for the series and the Champions Trophy with a punishing 107 from 93 balls.
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A HUNDRED FOR MORGAN!
47th over: England 311-5 (Morgan 106, Ali 57) Eoin Morgan reaches a marvellous century in style, hooking Rabada for his fifth six. He’s faced just 90 deliveries. He is in some form at the moment. That’s his third ODI hundred in 2017; he made only four in six years before that. He doesn’t always get the respect or love he deserves in this country, but he’ll bloody well get it in my house! We affectionately call him the pyjama trailblazer.
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46th over: England 298-5 (Morgan 95, Ali 56) Morgan makes it four sixes in seven balls for England, hoicking Phehlukwayo over square leg. A single bring up the hundred partnership, a beautifully judged effort from 73 balls.
45th over: England 287-5 (Morgan 87, Ali 53) Moeen hits Tahir for three sixes in an over! That is tremendous batting, which takes him to a 35-ball fifty. The first two were straight sixes and the third was lifted high over midwicket. Twenty-two runs from the over!
“You can’t put vinyl on shuffle?” sniffs Phil Sawyer. “Tell my turntable from the early 90s that. The needle used to jump around like a House of Pain tribute act. I had to weigh it down with pennies blu-tacked on just to try to get through one side of an album in the manner the musicians intended.”
44th over: England 265-5 (Morgan 86, Ali 32) Phehlukwayo bowls a splendid eighth over, just four singles from it. South Africa have had a degree of control throughout this innings.
“‘The role of No7 batsman in this format is both difficult and vital’,” says Peter Hillmore, quoting me, myself and I. “Why?”
Difficult because you rarely have any chance to build an innings and have to score at a run a ball from the start; also you are usually a proper batsman so are expected to score decent runs, not just a perky 11-ball 18; vital because you usually come in at the decisive point of an innings, especially a run-chase. It’s a specialist role. That’s just, like, my opinion, man.
BREAKING NEWS: AB DE VILLIERS MISFIELDS
43rd over: England 261-5 (Morgan 82, Ali 30) Moeen drives Tahir to mid-off, where de Villiers lets the ball go through his legs for four. That’s the only boundary from the over, which yields seven.
“Any great sledges from the 90s?” says Andrew Benton. “I found some undated ones here - The 25 Best Ashes Sledges. Teams should employ professional sledge-writers; wonder if there’s a chance of that.”
That’d be a great job for Armando Ianucci. Eddo Brandes’s oft-quoted biscuit was a 1990s sledge, as was Merv Hughes poetic persecution of Graeme Hick.
42nd over: England 254-5 (Morgan 81, Ali 22) Five from Phehlukwayo’s over; nothing to see here. England will still have hopes of 325, especially with the power they have down the order.
“Hugh Maguire (over 35) points the finger at streaming for the decline of the carefully crafted album,” says Martin Bramhill. “Whilst I would agree with him that this pernicious playlisting nonsense the kids like is one of the heralds of the End Times, I would argue that the decline of the album started with the compact disc. The issue is not about its physical deficiencies compared to vinyl (which are legion), but rather the existence of 80 mins or so of space that bands then felt compelled to fill. Previously a single album would contain around 44-45 minutes of music at the most and therefore a more ruthless approach to editing was required. At 80 minutes, the album could now contain a whole load of stuff that previously would have been relegated to b-sides or the vault. Albums became too long with too much filler, so the listener was almost forced to skip tracks to avoid boredom. Streaming and playlisting is the inevitable consequence of this change to listening habits.”
And you couldn’t put vinyl on shuffle. That changed listening habits and, eventually, recording habits too.
41st over: England 249-5 (Morgan 80, Ali 22) Parnell goes around the wicket to Moeen, who has so far had very little room to free his arms. So Moeen improvises, running down the wicket to pick Parnell up for a big six over midwicket. Later in the over he walks across his stumps to flash a pull behind square for four more. Splendid stuff from Moeen.
40th over: England 237-5 (Morgan 79, Ali 12) Phehlukwayo returns to the attack. South Africa get their field wrong, with not enough men inside the circle, so that’s a no-ball and a free hit. Morgan makes the most of it, belabouring a slower ball over midwicket for six. Eleven from the over.
39th over: England 226-5 (Morgan 72, Ali 10) Moeen can’t quite get going at the moment. He steals a very risky single to Duminy and is short of his crease when the throw whistles wide of the stumps. The role of No7 batsman in this format is both difficult and vital. Ideally Moeen would open but his temperament, flexibility and strokeplay make him a decent option. Sam Billings is probably best suited to the role but England need the sixth bowler.
“35th-over score???” says John Starbuck. “286 for 5? I know Homer nods sometimes, along with OBO writers under pressure, but that really does look like a wish.”
I’ve been watching too much Field of Dreams.
38th over: England 222-5 (Morgan 70, Ali 8) Morgan uses those rubber wrists to clatter a short ball from Duminy behind square on the off side for four. Beautiful shot. He is chasing his third century in the last eight ODI; before that he had scored two in around 60 games. There are worse times to hit form.
37th over: England 213-5 (Morgan 62, Ali 7) Morgan is surprised by an excellent short ball from Morris that takes the glove and flies through the vacant slip area for a single.
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36th over: England 206-5 (Morgan 60, Ali 5) Duminy (4-0-19-0) replaces Tahir. His second ball is wide of leg stump and swept fine for four by Morgan, who has played extremely well for his 60 not out from 58 balls. England might need him to double that if they are to win this game, however.
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35th over: England 202-5 (Morgan 55, Ali 4) That was almost another wicket for Morris. Moeen waved a short ball just wide of the man flying to his left at backward point and away for four.
“Things to be nostalgic about: the album,” says Hugh Maguire. “No, not albums named “the best ‘whatever’ album in the world, ever” but albums. Streaming music has led to the decline of a carefully crafted album as a musical journey and made way for the playlist. This is a travesty and an example of the trend of democratisation proving that just because you can give people a choice it doesn’t mean you should.”
WICKET! England 198-5 (Buttler c Miller b Morris 7)
This is a huge wicket for South Africa. Buttler pings the new bowler Morris round the corner and straight to leg gully, where Miller takes another very smart catch. That, as Mike Atherton says on Sky, is terrific cricket from South Africa - they had a number of close fielders for Buttler in an attempt to get him out before he got them. They succeeded.
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34th over: England 198-4 (Morgan 55, Buttler 7) Morgan mistimes a pull off Tahir that teases long-on before landing short of him. <Kidsthesedays> Buttler gets off the mark with a reverse sweep </kidsthesedays> and then clips a full toss lazily for four.
“In response to your comment (30th over) about England goal keeper kits from 1996, can I just add, as the proud owner for 20+ years of one of those Sondico technicolour houndstooth/vaguely Aztec print goalie tops, there’s nothing wrong with them,” says John Foster. “I’m a pretty big deal in the children’s birthday party entertainment business.”
33rd over: England 190-4 (Morgan 53, Buttler 0) Stokes really nailed that shot so it was a good catch from Miller. South Africa have timed their wickets extremely well today. “Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “You want some 90s nostalgia? Well I would, but I’m afraid I’m too sexy for all that nonsense. No way I’m reminiscing.”
WICKET! England 190-4 (Stokes c Miller b Rabada 25)
Stokes sweet-spots a pull off Rabada towards deep midwicket, where Miller takes a sharp catch. A sharp catch at deep midwicket; that’s how much cricket has changed.
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32nd over: England 186-3 (Morgan 53, Stokes 24) South Africa’s over-rate is lamentable; they need to bowl 18 overs in 70 minutes to finish on time. The spin of Tahir will help, and he scoots through another over at a personal cost of four scoring points.
31st over: England 182-3 (Morgan 51, Stokes 22) Rabada comes back into the attack. He has a bit of history with Stokes, and now they have a bit more: a sweet golf shot over long-on for six. England are back on course for a big score.
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30th over: England 174-3 (Morgan 50, Stokes 15) Morgan plays another classy lofted cover-drive for four, this time off Tahir, and this time prompting a blast of Guru Josh over the tannoy. Guru Josh at the cricket! He forces Tahir to the cover boundary again off the last ball, bringing up an excellent half-century from 44 balls.
“Lee Smith (over 23) can hate on that England goalkeeping kit all he likes – I was the very proud owner of one of those shirts during Euro 96,” says Will Horwood. “If I were seeking mitigation, I’d say that I was 11 at the time, but that kit is so brilliant that I don’t think any mitigation is necessary.”
You can’t say this about many football kits, but that one is so bad you can’t even wear it ironically.
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29th over: England 162-3 (Morgan 40, Stokes 13) Morgan is leading from the front foot. He gives Duminy the charge and swings him handsomely over extra cover for four. He has 40 from 40 balls; Stokes has 13 from 20.
“It’s been a curiously long month of May without a Test or other international cricket to get one’s teeth into,” says David Williams. “If we’re doing 90s nostalgia, and things we want to bring back, musically there’d only be one choice for me: Jeff Buckley. Feeling a little listless and morose last night after the news, I sought some music from simpler times... and ended up putting ‘Grace’ on for the first time in an absolute age; an album of still astonishing ethereal brilliance by someone who left us far too young. Who knows what he may have gone on to achieve?”
On that note, one of the better things about growing old is rediscovering an album, especially that brief window when you don’t just listen but really hear it.
28th over: England 154-3 (Morgan 34, Stokes 11) Tahir returns to the attack. He has seven overs remaining, and for the time being England are content to milk him for singles. Tahir and Duminy have combined figures of 7-0-26-0, with no boundaries conceded.
Meanwhile, here’s the latest on a possible Ashes boycott from our old friend Andy Bull.
27th over: England 150-3 (Morgan 32, Stokes 9) Stokes is getting frustrated with Duminy’s slippery offspin, on which he can’t quite get a (long) handle. Four from Duminy’s third over; he still hasn’t conceded a boundary.
“90s nostalgia?” sniffs Phil Sawyer. “I miss Skee-Lo, it being acceptable to wear tops so baggy no-one could tell what frame you were underneath, and not groaning out loud when I get up off the couch. Actually, stuff the 90s revival. This decade has supposedly seen an 80s revival, but I have yet to see the return of Bitza Pizza.”
25th over: England 146-3 (Morgan 30, Stokes 7) Morgan is quickly onto Phehlukwayo’s short ball, pulling it sweetly round the corner for four, and he follows that by making room to loft a six that lands on the boundary rope. A good over for England, 13 from it.
“Brass Eye is definitely something that makes me yearn for the 90s,” says Rob Hill. “The thought of Noel Edmonds talking earnestly to camera about Shatner’s bassoon - the part of the brain stimulated by Cake, itself a ‘made up drug’ - still makes me smile. Lovely.”
Imagine the fun he could have these days.
REVIEW! England 134-3 (Stokes not out 6)
Phehlukwayo optimistically/ludicrously reviews an unsuccessful LBW appeal against Stokes. The ball clearly pitched outside leg, and replays showed there was an inside edge as well. That’s a bit of a shocker from South Africa, especially as you only have one review in this format.
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25th over: England 133-3 (Morgan 19, Stokes 5) Stokes is another one who likes to play himself in and trusts himself to make it up later in the innings. I think he identified that as the main reason for his improvement in this format. He has five from 12 balls after another thrifty over from Duminy. England have a bit of work to do to reach a par score, even if nobody really knows what that par score is.
“While deep down the rabbit hole looking for the answer (not to cheat I swear, for own amusement),” begins Matt Davies, “Wikipedia tells me that Matthew Fleming hit his first two balls in first-class cricket for sixes, but this is without citation - can anyone provide?”
I thought it was that his first two scoring shots were sixes, which isn’t quite the same thing. He was a gloriously rustic batsman. I remember watching him smash 74 off maybe 44 balls against Pakistan’s World Cup-winners in 1992, back when such scoring rates were in no way normal.
24th over: England 130-3 (Morgan 18, Stokes 3) South Africa have a good grip on the game just now. England have hit only one four (and two sixes) in the last 12 overs.
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23rd over: England 126-3 (Morgan 16, Stokes 1) England’s latest challenge is the offspin of JP Duminy. “He’s much more than a part-timer,” says thd commentator Shaun Pollock. We need a name for these bowlers, who are not full-time or part-time. Zero-hours bowlers has a ring to it, eh.
“Will Horwood is alright asking for the return of the 1992 Pakistan kit,” says Lee Smith, “just as long as we keep this firmly locked away.”
That’s no way to refer to one of England’s greatest goalkeepers. Honk!
Honk?
22nd over: England 122-3 (Morgan 14, Stokes 0) The new batsman is Mr Ben Stokes. Phehlukwayo has two for 12 from three match-changing overs.
WICKET! England 122-3 (Root c Amla b Phuhlekwayo 37)
Morgan charges Phehlukwayo and swings him over wide mid-on for a lovely six. Three balls later Root falls, swatting a short ball to midwicket. The bouncer was too high for him to control the stroke and it looped high to Amla. That’s a tame end to an innings of diminishing returns from Root: he got off to a flying start but struggled thereafter and made 37 from 51 balls.
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21st over: England 115-2 (Root 37, Morgan 8) England have been denied the oxygen of boundaries and so has the OBO, hence the relatively short entries. This thing of ours is nothing without boundaries. Four singles from Parnell’s over.
“The Day Today and Neil Fairbrother?” says Julian Diamond. “I have been an OBO lurker since 2005 and this is my first contribution ever, though I have still got a draft e-mail to John Ashdown from c2009 which I’m still working on.”
Unless it’s about how crap a new-ball pair Anderson and Broad are, or you are suggesting that there is simply no way Twitter will become a fiasco of narcissism, I’d probably just send it.
20th over: England 111-2 (Root 35, Morgan 6) Morgan works Phehlukwayo through midwicket for three, his first really effective stroke. South Africa have done well to restrict England to just two boundaries in the last eight overs.
We have a winner, if that’s the right word. “Isn’t the answer something ridiculous like the English Chris Harris,” says Alex Bramble, “none other than...Matthew Fleming?”
Yep, it is indeed Jazzer Fleming. I still can’t believe England left him out of the 1999 World Cup.
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19th over: England 107-2 (Root 34, Morgan 3) Morgan edges Parnell in the air but safely wide of slip for a single, one of a handful in the over.
“A lot of my favourite things from the 1990s have been brought back in recent years, including Suede, Lush and Norwich City being in the Premier League,” says Will Horwood. “Would it be too much to ask for Pakistan to revert to their 1992 World Cup kit for the Champions Trophy?”
And with the same team. I bet Wasim Akram could still make the ball talk off a very, very, very, very short run.
18th over: England 103-2 (Root 32, Morgan 1) “Neighbours on the BBC,” says Thomas Jenkins. “Being on the Beeb somehow legitimized the viewing of such arrant nonsense. Whereas watching it felt like a perverse act the second it went over to Five. Turning off my brain and tuning into Ramsay St - sat agog in front of that perma-sun much as one is warmed by the glow of one’s laptop-screen over the course of an Ashes winter - was my own form of meditation. I’ve become an unstable monster in the years since without it and refuse to countenance the possibility that there may be other reasons closer to home for why that is so. It’s because I don’t know what Toadfish is upto nowadays and I’ll hear no other speculation. Neighbours on the BBC or Frasier. One or the other.”
Possibly the best and certainly the most alarming thing about Neighbours was how often I some people I knew watched it twice, once at school during lunch and again in the evening.
WICKET! England 101-2 (Hales c de Kock b Phehlukwayo 61)
Andile Phehlukwayo strikes first ball! Hales tries to cut a loosener outside off stump and somehow edges it through to the keeper. He swishes his bat in frustration. It was a fine innings of 61 from 60 balls but he knows he could have been a century, maybe a big one.
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17th over: England 101-1 (Hales 61, Root 31) Parnell is back and Hales greets him with an almighty six, smashed on the run over long-on. It’s weird to reflect how much pressure Hales was perceived to be under when he returned to the team a couple of months ago. He is inked in for the Champions Trophy now.
A few more suggestions for our mystery biffer: Ali Brown, Sir Ian Botham, Marcus Trescothick, Ian Bell, Jonny Bairstow, Neil Fairbrother, Martin McCague, Chris Lewis, Nick Knight, Darren Gough, Mark Ealham, Freddie Flintoff, Ian Austin and Neighbours on the BBC. It’s none of those.
16th over: England 90-1 (Hales 51, Root 30) A single off Morris takes Hales to a typically thumping fifty, from 52 balls and with eight fours. Time for drinks. It’s a reflection of modern batting that South Africa will probably be the happier side, even though England are scoring at almost six an over.
“Long time lurker, first time caller,” says Luke Harris. “Is it Luke Wright or Craig Kieswetter?” Nope, both are in the high 80s.
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15th over: England 87-1 (Hales 49, Root 29) Root plays the first semi-aggressive stroke against Tahir, timing him through midwicket for two. That’s about all. Tahir has hurried through three overs at a cost of just 11.
“Rob,” says Andrew Benton. “Got to be the impeccable Moeen? Nostalgia’s not what it used to be. The only thing I’d bring back from the ‘90s is the first series of This Life. It’s timeless. Bring back steam trains and pints of warm beer for a thruppeny bit!”
You make a good point. In my 20s, I prided myself on the fact I would never turn into Fred Trueman. I turned into Fred Trueman.
It’s not Moeen by the way, though he is very close at 99.71. It’s somebody who played in the 1990s, topically enough.
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14th over: England 82-1 (Hales 47, Root 26) Hales tries to cut a very wide delivery from Morris and toe-ends it for four. Fortune favours the cross-batted clubber.
“Dear Smyth,” says Sam Rhodes. “Is the answer Kevin ‘Genius’ Pietersen? Or am I buying into his (publicist’s) hype?”
No. His strike rate was a very impressive 86.58.
13th over: England 74-1 (Hales 41, Root 24) Three of the four leading ODI wickettakers since the last World Cup are legspinners: Adil Rashid, the remarkable Rashid Khan and this man Imran Tahir. I suppose taking wickets in the middle overs is more important than ever in this age of unstoppable death-hitting. Nothing much has happened in Tahir’s spell so far, with minimal turn and England dealing exclusively in low-risk singles.
FUN quiz
Five England players, who have batted at least 10 times in ODIs, have a strike-rate of over 100. Four of them are in the current squad: Jason Roy, Jos Buttler, Adil Rashid and Liam Plunkett. Who is the other?
No Statsguruing allowed. Cheating spoils all our FUN.
12th over: England 69-1 (Hales 39, Root 21) Hales ends a shocking boundary drought of almost three overs, thumping Morris down the ground. He is beaten for pace by a bouncer next ball and top-edgiesa pull for four. He has 39 from 43 balls, Root has 21 from 26. It’s a good contest, this, and both teams will be happy enough with their work so far.
“I’d like to bring back staying up until three in the morning to watch American comedies like Seinfeld and Larry Sanders on BBC2,” says Daniel Seppings. “Kids nowadays etc.”
11th over: England 59-1 (Hales 30, Root 20) The Powerplay is over, so Imran Tahir is coming into the attack. He is top of the ODI bowling rankings and a brilliant wickettaker in the middle overs. You’d expect Root especially to go after him, mind you. For now he’s bowling to Hales, who can’t pierce the field from any of the first five deliveries but does get a single from the sixth.
10th over: England 58-1 (Hales 29, Root 20) South Africa have slowed England down since Morris came into the attack, and he continues that with a really good maiden to Root.
“Hi Rob,” says Gareth Radford. “Long time OBOer – you guys helped me get my cricket team together in the heady days of 2005. Just wondering how the Long Blondes are doing these days?”
The Hoo Ha Record Club; that’s how they’re doing! As for 2005... it almost feels like that happened in a former life.
9th over: England 58-1 (Hales 29, Root 20) Doogie Howser MD. That’s what they should bring back from the 1990s. Rabada would probably be happy if they brought back the old no-ball rules, without free hits for front-foot offences, because he has just bowled his third of the innings. He gets away with the free hit again,angling a full toss past Hales’s attempted swipe.
8th over: England 53-1 (Hales 26, Root 19) Chris Morris comes on for Wayne Parnell. His third ball is too wide and Hales blasts it square for four. A single brings up a calmly authoritative fifty partnership from just 40 balls.
“Things to bring back from the 90s,” says Stephen Brown. “The use of apostrophes when referring to decades. It’s how I learnt and it’s how it should be; no one in the 90’s would have dropped it.”
Yes, everyone was too busy dropping other things to be worried about grammar.
7th over: England 47-1 (Hales 21, Root 18) Delightful batting from Root, who jumps back to glide Rabada wide of the slips for four. Rabada bowls another front-foot no-ball but this time ensures Root cannot take advantage of the free hit by spearing in a terrific yorker.
“If it’s nostalgia your having then make mine a pint,” says Lee Smith, “and while you’re at it can you bring back computer games, on cassette tape, that took six minutes to load. If you were lucky.”
You can still buy pints, Lee.
6th over: England 41-1 (Hales 21, Root 13) Hales plays a brilliant stroke, wristily whipping Parnell wide of mid-on for four from well outside off stump. It works so well that he does it again later in the over - not quite as eye-catchingly, but with the same boundarific result. England have scored 35 from the last four overs.
“Am watching on telly in Joburg, trying to get my VPN to cooperate so that I can listen to TMS and am, of course, reading the OBO,” says Eva Maaten. “We’ve been following the Proteas quite closely since we got here last year (we even have season tickets for the Wanderers Stadium) and I’ve become slightly grudgingly quite impressed by them. Should still be England’s day today, I hope!”
Their recent record is tremendous; I think it’s six bilateral series wins in a row. They have been masters at peaking between World Cups in the past, and I suppose the age of their key players is a worry with regard to 2019. Amla will be 36, de Villiers, Duminy and Steyn 35, du Plessis and Morkel 34, Morris 32 and Tahir 40. gainst that, Rabada will be 23 and probably the best fast bowler in the world.
5th over: England 31-1 (Hales 12, Root 12) Root continues his excellent start, timing Rabada square on the off side for four to move to 11 from five balls. A front-foot no-ball then gets the appropriate punishment when Hales panels the free hit for four.
“Going by the TMS commentary, England’s new batsmen (with the possible exception of Root) seem to have trouble getting their feet moving at the start of their innings,” says John Starbuck. “Surely they’d practice this above all else? You can’t play decent strokes otherwise, unless you’ve got an exceptional eye and aren’t bothered about the niceties.”
In the modern game you can get away without moving your feet a lot of the time, certainly in limited-overs cricket. That said, you are right that Root is a model of how to do pretty much everything connected with batting.
4th over: England 20-1 (Hales 7, Root 7) Root punches an uppish cover-drive for two more. It wasn’t as well controlled as the first one and had short-extra interested for most of its flight before dropping short.
3rd over: England 17-1 (Hales 7, Root 4) Rabada swings a beautiful delivery through Hales’s gate, over middle stump and wide of the diving de Kock for four byes. South Africa have started strongly, aided by a bit of swing in particular. As ever in modern ODI cricket, the task for the team batting first is trying to work out what the hell is a good score. The good thing about England and Hales in particular is that they are happy to take a few balls to get their eye in if necessary, knowing they have the power to make up for lost balls. Root is the exception to that; he generally scores at around a run a ball from the off. Hales, having made three from his first nine deliveries, pings an attempted yorker behind square on the leg side for four.
“I think what we could all do after this week is an old-fashioned OBO riff,” says David Hopkins. “Also, this week more than ever I sort of which we could just back to the 90s. So could I suggest a discussion on 90s things that we should demand to have back? As I kick off I recently thoroughly enjoyed a Natalie Imbruglia concert, which wasn’t entirely populated with blokes of my age making cow eyes at her. Just mostly.”
The past has never felt more vital, has it. Nostalgia is so damn hot right now! As for your question, a Sopranos spin-off of Junior and Bobby watching TV would be nice. That or beef-flavour Discos, I’m not fussy.
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2nd over: England 6-1 (Hales 1, Root 3) That ball to Roy didn’t swing; it just went across with the angle and found the edge of what was a loose stroke. It happens. You can’t ask Roy to live by the sword and expect him never to die by it. Root shows how to play the stroke, pushing his first delivery classily through extra cover for three. He is so good at seizing the initiative from the first ball; perhaps England’s best since Graham Thorpe.
WICKET! England 3-1 (Roy c de Kock b Parnell 1)
The left-arm seamer Wayne Parnell will share the new ball. He hasn’t quite delivered on the thrilling promise he showed over here during the 2009 World Twenty20, but he is still only 27 and has a good record in all formats. And he has the first wicket here! Roy throws his hands into a big drive outside off stump and snicks it straight through to the keeper.
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1st over: England 3-0 (Roy 1, Hales 1) Kagiso Rabada, the tremendous 21-year-old, will open the bowling. No fast bowler has taken more ODI wickets since the last World Cup, and he wants some more: he has three slips for the first over. He hits a full length straight away and finds an edge of sorts from Hales, but it’s thick enough to scoot well wide of the slips. Roy then gets off the mark in similar style. A good first over from Rabada, more like a Test match than an ODI.
There is an impeccably observed minute’s silence for those who died in the Manchester attack.
A plug
I am here today, hosting this thing of ours, is because of my occasional OBO colleague Tim de Lisle. His editor’s notes in the January 1999 edition of Wisden Cricket Monthly are the reason I got into journalism. In eight months working with him at Wisden.com in 2001-02, I learned more about writing than in 15 years since. He was born to write a book about how to write – and now he has. If you like words, you should buy it. If you don’t like words, you should buy it.
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“First big OBO of the summer,” says Lee Smith, “and I think an appropriate moment to remember Dan Lucas, who was always ready to write about cricket and show his disdain for Celine Dion.”
Yes, it still doesn’t seem real. I keep wondering what he thinks of the new Twin Peaks (no spoilers please, I haven’t watched it yet), or Radiohead finally releasing Lift. The Guardian sports desk is a much less vibrant place without him.
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Some pre-match reading
The teams
England Roy, Hales, Root, Morgan (capt), Stokes, Buttler (wk), Moeen, Woakes, Rashid, Plunkett, Wood.
South Africa Amla, de Kock (wk), du Plessis, de Villiers (capt), Duminy, Miller, Morris, Parnell, Phelukwayo, Rabada, Tahir.
South Africa have won the toss and will bowl first.
Eoin Morgan would have done the same but seems happy enough batting first.
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Preamble
England’s ODI side have been all kinds of fun in the last two years. As anybody familiar with this weird, repressed little country knows, however, eventually the fun has to stop. England have had a free pass, pretty much, since the nadir’s nadir of the 2015 World Cup. Now things get a bit more serious, because for the first time they have to deal with the weight of all those expectations.
We know that England are entertaining and a breath of the fresh stuff. What we don’t quite know is how good they are: whether, in the upcoming Champions Trophy, they are dangerous loose cannons, formidable favourites or something inbetween – and whether they can play with the same batting freedom now that there is such expectation on them to become the first England side to win a global 50-over tournament.
They have the most dynamic batting line-up in world cricket – don’t take my word for it, look at the stats – and a decent bowling attack that has the world’s leading wickettaker since the last World Cup, Adil Rashid. They also have Ben Stokes; beautiful, brilliant, unstoppable MVP Ben Stokes.
This three-match series against South Africa, the world’s No1 ODI side, will give us a better idea of how good they are. For all England’s exhilarating improvement since 2015, they are No5 in the world and have lost all three ODI series against the world’s best sides: Australia, South Africa and India. Their mood going into the Champions Trophy will be largely determined by the result of this series. The difference between 3-0 and 0-3 is enormous. This is a warm-up with edge.
The match begins at 2pm.
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