That was, considering the strength of the opposition, England’s best day of Test cricket this summer. Woakes, Bairstow and, of course, Root with an awesome 254, batted outstandingly to make a massive score. Then Woakes continued his brilliant summer with the ball to demolish Pakistan’s top order, while Ben Stokes played a good supporting roll with both bat and ball. You can see from the way they batted, ran between the wickets, bowled and fielded, just how fired up they were by that first Test defeat. Yasir Shah, who destroyed them at Lord’s, was turned from Shane Warne into Ian Salisbury. That was emphatic to say the least and anything similar from England over the next two days will ensure (a) they go to Edgbaston at 1-1 and (b) there will not be a day five.
Thanks to all of you for reading, for all your tweets, emails and mind-boggling numbers and theoretical arguments, and, again, for your generosity. Apologies for any correspondence I didn’t have time to use. Hopefully today was as much fun for you as it was for me.
Rob Smyth and Daniel Harris will be with you tomorrow. Do join them. Bye!
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Stumps Pakistan 57-4 trail by 532
24th over: Pakistan 57-4 (Misbhah 1, Masood 30) Stokes to bowl the final over of the day after Woakes heads out to his fielding position on the boundary to a standing ovation from the crowd. Stokes starts, unsurprisingly, with a short one that Masood pulls belligerently for three. Misbah’s first ball is short too and it pops up off the shoulder of the bat, but there’s no one at silly point to catch it. They take a single and Masood – who has defied expectations and been a rare beacon of solidity in this Pakistan lineup – sees out the remainder of the over.
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23rd over: Pakistan 53-4 (Misbhah 0, Masood 27) One last over for Woakes today then and after making a mockery of Rahat’s ability to, well, bat, he picks up his third wicket of the day. And in tribute to the Warwickshire man, Tom Bowtell has been doing some statgasmic analysis of his wonderful summer:
“So at the start of the summer Woakes averages 21.50 with the bat, and 63.75 with ball, giving an ‘all-rounder’ score (batting av minus bowling av) of -42.25. He now averages 35 with bat and 26.75 with ball, giving him an ‘all-rounder’ score of +8.25. (For comparison, Botham’s score was +5.14 at the end of his career, Flintoff’s -1.01 Stokes currently -4.64). Has there ever been a comparable turnaround?”
It has been astonishing. When he came into the team I thought of him as a bowler who could bowl a bit. Now he looks like as good a No7 as there is in Test cricket today.
Wicket! Rahat c Ballance b Woakes 4
Short, fast and far too nasty for the nightwatchman. He thrusts his bat in front of his face one-handed and pops it up to give short-leg an easy take.
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22nd over: Pakistan 52-3 (Rahat 4, Masood 26) You know one more wicket in these last three overs and I reckon it might just be England’s day. Oof and a very sharp bouncer could easily have brought one here: it cannons into Masood’s bat handle and ricochets away square. It could have gone ... oh it really is England’s day! Stokes rips out Pakistan’s batsman and, on a pitch that is only going to get harder to bat on, Pakistan are in the deep stuff. Rahat Ali comes in, three slips, a gully, a short-leg and a leg-gully in place, and he edges his first ball through the cordon for four! I don’t want to get carried away, but I don’t think he’s in Woakes’s class as a nightwatchman.
Wicket! Younus c Bairstow b Stokes 1
Stokes strays down the leg-side, Younus follows it and is strangled!
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21st over: Pakistan 47-2 (Younus 1, Masood 24) Full and swinging in, Woakes hits Younus on the pad just above the knee-roll. He’s keen but there was a pretty clear inside edge and, rather than another wicket, it’s a first run of the match to the 38-year-old. Three off the over.
On another note, an enormous thank you once again to everyone who has contributed to today’s good cause department. Your generosity has been absolutely astonishing and Gary (dad, to me) and Tracey (mum), who runs the Dartmouth RNLI visitors centre on a voluntary basis, want to say how grateful they are.
20th over: Pakistan 44-2 (Younus 0, Masood 22) Just five overs left in the day but Pakistan don’t send out a nightwatchman. I suppose Younus, as their best and most experienced batsman, can’t shirk the responsibility of seeing his team through the close when they’re in a situation as precarious as this one. A single from the fifth ball means Younus is in the firing line for just one delivery; he plays a dot and is spared facing Woakes next.
“Evening Dan, evening all. Long time no contact!” begins Clare Davies. Welcome back, Clare, you’ve missed a lot of fun today. “Woakes really has to be our go to man these days! What a joy!”
19th over: Pakistan 43-2 (Masood 21) Witness, the difference between England and Pakistan in this Test: Masood nudges a straight one wide of mid-on and casually jogs through for the single. They turn and think about another, but not for more than a moment. Contrast that with the way Bairstow in particular was going hard for every available run between the wickets even with his team 500-plus to the good. Azhar’s rather dour innings comes to an inglorious end last ball.
Wicket! Azhar c&b Woakes 1
He’s only gone and got another one! Azhar tries to turn it into the leg-side but goes at it too early and with hard hands. Up it loops off the leading edge and Woakes takes a return catch as simple as return catches get.
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18th over: Pakistan 42-1 (Azhar 1, Masood 21) Alastair Cook has seen enough of his spinner and replaces Mo with Stokes. He’s landing heavily on his front foot, which must be jarring that left knee but he doesn’t look to be in any discomfort with it. Decent enough pace, too, around 85mph. Just a single from the over, flicked away off the last ball.
@DanLucas86 The highest possible score by a batsman will be reached when India need a draw to secure the WI series and Kohli gets a start.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) July 23, 2016
Heh.
17th over: Pakistan 41-1 (Azhar 1, Masood 20) Short from Woakes and Masood plays it very well, getting across and on top of the ball quickly before sending it through midwicket for four on the hook. It wasn’t a very quick ball – 82mph according to Athers – but he played it very well. Masood looks a lot more confident and secure in himself now.
@DanLucas86 the baffling yoo ess aay chant is a tribute to some blokes in Donald Trump fancy dress. I am both 50m away and too close
— Andrew Battarbee (@AndrewBattarbee) July 23, 2016
They’ve now switched to singing Erasure, which is infinitely worse.
16th over: Pakistan 36-1 (Azhar 1, Masood 15) Ali to Ali. Our very own Ali Martin will no doubt have his hot take on this later. Later, Masood cuts him away towards the point boundary and takes three, while Stuart Broad chases the ball down and reel it back in superbly to save one. It’s things like that, despite England’s massive run cushion, that have made them such a likeable side and that have given them all but this bilateral belt.
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15th over: Pakistan 32-1 (Azhar 0, Masood 12) Just the four slips in for Masood against Woakes. And they have a perfect view of the dismissive cut through point that the batsman sends away when Woakes offers him a touch of width. The rest of the over is of littler interest to Masood.
“Hello Dan!” Hello, Philip West!
“Bit of boring maths for you. Add ½ + ¼ + 1/8 + 1/16 + … and keep going…. your answer gets closer and closer to 1 without ever getting there. Without boring everyone stupid the maths way to say this is that the sum has a limit 1.
“Now 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + … doesn’t get closer and closer to a number, it obviously just gets bigger and bigger, so we say the limit is positive infinity.
“1 – 2 + 3 – 4 + 5 – 6 + … doesn’t get closer to a particular number, and also doesn’t get arbitrarily larger, as it approaches both positive infinity and negative infinity according to which term you consider.
“So yes – infinity (or minus infinity) is a way to show the behaviour of series and functions, but it is not a number. Hope this helps.”
BUT Chris Lord writes:
“Don’t bother with this single of the last ball malarky - just hit a six off a no ball continuously. This also has the benefit of never hitting the 90 over limit of the day, nor the minimum number of overs in the last hour. If we play the game north of the Arctic Circle in summer, then the light will never go so I think the game never ends.
“The innings goes on forever, or at least until the batsman dies of old age. Death by old age is an “unavoidable cause”, so I think the batsman is entitled to resume his innings if we subsequently cure death while the bowler is still bowling no balls; however if enough players die then presumably we have to call the game off. The Laws are strangely silent on this point, however. Therefore, I think we need an actuary to accurately estimate the maximum score.”
So a score of infinity both is and isn’t possible. Funnily enough I think it was Schrödinger’s average*.
*This is the best joke I’ve ever written.
14th over: Pakistan 28-1 (Azhar 0, Masood 8) I return from a comfort break to find Masood has added a single. Sorry.
13th over: Pakistan 27-1 (Masood 7) England’s form bowler – hell he might just be their form player this year – Chris Woakes comes on for Anderson. He arrives to find a flat wicket that’s a dream for batting on and Hafeez turns him round the corner for four. Oh but he goes last ball! That’s drinks.
“Your calculations don’t allow for additional runs from no balls – or the possibility that a side bowls more than 90 overs in a day.” Thanks Stephen Nicholson: I had thought of that, but didn’t want to mention it in case people actually started sending me more numbers at 5.30pm.
“I suspect you’d get a higher score if the opening bowler constantly overstepped the crease so that it took him 5 days get through a single over. Each ball is then hit for 2, with the fielder then throwing it for 6 overthrows.”
Wicket! Hafeez c Root b Woakes 18
On a length, no movement but Hafeez is squared up and nicks to second slip. It’s Woakes and Root again!
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12th over: Pakistan 23-0 (Hafeez 14, Masood 7) Change of bowling: Moeen is on for Broad. He drops too short to Masood and the opener gets his first runs since the Timeless Test with a cut for four. That’s by no means the worst ball of the over though; that honour goes to a very strange beamer that the batsman is too bemused by to smack.
Because it seems no one noticed that Joe Root got out, we have some more suggestions on the highest possible Test score:
Tom Brain: “In principle, a batsman could score six off every ball of every over for five days, which equates to over 16,000 runs in a single innings. It does assume that every over after the first begins with a wide or no ball that allows the batsmen to take a run and rotate the strike, though, which isn’t very likely.” You know I don’t think “likely” comes into this discussion.
David Alcock gives me 17412 + (extra balls × 6), although he’s at the pub and whether he’s right or not I have no idea.
11th over: Pakistan 17-0 (Hafeez 13, Masood 3) For some reason, the crowd appear to be chanting “YOO ESS A” at Anderson, to the point where this almost sounds like The Masters. Alas, this one is lost on me. Jimmy, effortlessly as ever, switches to swinging the ball the other way now he has Hafeez on strike, although the batsman gets a single off his pads when he straightens up a bit.
“Andrew Golder´s definition of infinity is a bit limited. Surely it has no beginning, either?” HONKS Tony Walton in La Palma. “Spot on the geezer who almost said: Infinity is always being scored, in every Timeless Test (of which there is of course an infinite number). Just to show you can pull a gag apart until it’s bled to pieces.”
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10th over: Pakistan 16-0 (Hafeez 12, Masood 3) 26 balls after the last one, a run. Nudged to square leg by Hafeez.
9th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Hafeez 11, Masood 3) A change of tack from Anderson, who switches to round the wicket the leftie. Still nothing happening for either side though: a third maiden on the spin.
8th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Hafeez 11, Masood 3) Oh there’s some swing for Broad. After a nice bouncer has Hafeez ducking he gets a fuller one to come back and rap the batsman on the pad. There’s a lot of bounce though and he’s hit him above the knee-roll, so Cook declines to review. Rightly so, it turns out as it was going well over.
Some suggestions for the highest possible Test score:
@DanLucas86 I reckon top score by an individual in a test match is 1350 based on scoring at a run a ball and selfishly batting for 5 days
— Andrew Golder (@mrgolder1974) July 23, 2016
“Well,” begins Tom Bowtell, “in 5 day Test, the record runs by one batsman in a day is 309 (Bradman), so that times 5 gives us 1545 as a possibility - although we’d need some Ponsfords to back up our Bradman as the team pushes on to 3000/6 declared.”
Chris Bourne offers: “The highest possible individual score in a test match would involve Joss Buttler hitting a six on the first five deliveries of each over and then running five on the last ball, in order to retain the strike. That would be 15,750 runs over a five day match with 90 overs a day.”
Good effort Chris, but Buttler would get the credit if there were four overthrows from each final ball too.
7th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Hafeez 11, Masood 3) On Sky, Hussain asks Gower which he found harder as a left-hander against the swinging ball: the one going away or the one coming back in. Gower suggests it’s the inswinger, which – though he reasoning is sound enough that it leaves you vulnerable to more ways of getting out – surprises me given his predilection for nicking behind.
6th over: Pakistan 15-0 (Hafeez 11, Masood 3) There isn’t really any movement to speak of for Broad but it doesn’t really matter. To save this game Pakistan need to bat long, so survival is very much the priority this evening. That doesn’t mean turning down runs, of course, and as if to demonstrate this Hafeez slashes a short, wide, not-very-good one up and over gully for four beautifully dismissive runs. Broad comes back with a beaut that zips past Hafeez’s defensive push. Whisper it, but this looks like it’s going to be a fine contest already.
@DanLucas86 1. Countably infinite would be an endless Boycott innings scored in singles
— Brian (@brianmw58) July 23, 2016
5th over: Pakistan 11-0 (Hafeez 7, Masood 3) A solid maiden. So few alarms and surprises as to make Thom Yorke grateful.
@DanLucas86 the fundamental point is infinity isn't a number, it's a concept, which works in maths but doesn't translate into the real world
— Andrew Golder (@mrgolder1974) July 23, 2016
I guess this takes us back to the original question: what is the highest possible individual score in a Test innings?
4th over: Pakistan 11-0 (Hafeez 7, Masood 3) Broad switches to round the wicket for the left-handed Masood. Given how uncertain he looked outside his off-stump in the previous over, I wonder if it would be worth Broad angling it across the batsman? It’s academic after two balls in any case, as a leg-bye gets him off strike. Hafeez, who looks far more like a Test opener, leans into a full one and caresses it gorgeously through extra-cover for the first boundary of the day.
Regarding the RNLI appeal, you lot really are wonderful. Thank you, again.
3rd over: Pakistan 6-0 (Hafeez 3, Masood 3) If Masood makes it to the close I’ll be amazed. If he lasts another half hour I’ll be impressed. Anderson made him his bunny in the UAE, getting him four times for not many at all, and the left-hander plays and misses at a couple of away-swingers here. A tuck off the legs for two gets him off the mark before Anderson beats his outside edge with another ripper.
2nd over: Pakistan 3-0 (Hafeez 3, Masood 0) As ever, Broad shares the new ball. As far as line and length go it’s a bit erratic, but it is a maiden nonetheless.
Matt Dony writes: “Sorry, Mr Golder, but there are a number of definitions of (and applications for) infinity, some of which work perfectly well within a numerical system. As you were.”
I don’t know what the mathematical qualifications of any of our correspondents are, so who knows what to believe?
1st over: Pakistan 3-0 (Hafeez 3, Masood 0) As the clouds start to roll over and the breeze picks up behind him, in comes Jimmy Anderson to Mohammad Hafeez. There’s a little bit of movement for the bowler but Hafeez is away with a lovely shot, following the swing and timing it through extra-cover for three. Masood is nearly gone first ball though, popping it back up in the air off the leading edge and the ball drops inches short of Anderson’s outstretched hand diving forward!
@DanLucas86 infinity isn't a number it means "without end" sorry to be a killjoy. Infinity plus one is therefore an impossible concept too.
— Andrew Golder (@mrgolder1974) July 23, 2016
BOOOOO!
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Re. the earlier good cause department: Thank you so, so much to those of you who have already donated some of your hard-earned cash. Dad is enormously grateful to all of you. And you guys are the reason doing the OBO is such a great job.
Back to the cricket, and here come the players. Jimmy’s back!
STATGASM from Ian Forth, who notes that this is now the first time England have fielded three batsmen who have scored Test 250s. That’s Smyth/Zaltzman-esque work.
England declare
152.2 overs: England 589-8 (Moeen 2) And with that, Alastair Cook calls his men in.
Wicket! Bairstow c Misbah b Wahab 58
A cross-batted heave at a slower ball and it loops to the Pakistan captain at mid-off.
152nd over: England 589-7 (Bairstow 58, Moeen 2) To give the Old Trafford crowd their due, the England fans are in fine form at the moment, heartily applauding every well-run two from Bairstow. He’s earned the cheers too, giving every run his all even with such a cushion and with batting so easy right now. He adds another boundary by marmalising a sweep over midwicket for four more, making nine from this over.
Before I forget, I’m going to indulge myself on behalf of a good cause. My dad is cycling the London 100 on July 31 to raise money for the RNLI - a voluntary organisation where volunteers regularly risk their lives to save people at sea and help out with flood relief around the country for the princely sum of absolutely no pay at all. There’s a programme about it on BBC 1 on Wednesday nights.
Anyway, the organisation relies on donations to survive, so if anyone fancies sponsoring my dad for doing 100 miles around Surrey and London, including both Leith Hill and Box Hill, which I can attest to being really hard, then here’s a link. Every little helps and all that.
151st over: England 580-7 (Bairstow 50, Moeen 1) Wahab Riaz comes back for Masood. Pakistan need to stem this flow of runs quite desperately and – whaddyaknow? – he does just that, ending Joe Root’s fun. I suppose he’s earned that rest after a quite outstanding innings – his highest Test score by a decent way. Alastair Cook shows as much mercy as he might a baby deer, sending in Moeen Ali – at number nine – to play a few shots. Bairstow gets to a 50 of his own with a push square on the off-side.
“In today’s circumstances, the declaration probably won’t be a specific figure,” reckons John Starbuck who probably isn’t wrong. “It will be whatever they have by 5p.m. An hour’s bowling would be just right.”
Also thank you for the Twitter follows, guys. You lot are the best.
Wicket! Root c Hafeez b Wahib 254
Root looks to send this a long way over midwicket but misreads the slower ball and Hafeez comes running in to take a good tumbling catch.
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150th over: England 576-6 (Bairstow 47, Root 254) A dilemma for Misbah: does he stick with this declaration bowling and risk exposing his batsmen for longer if England have a figure in mind, or does he ask Yasir to grind himself into the dust a bit more? He opts for the latter and Bairstow moves to 46 by cutting a long-hop to the fence. He’s having more fun than a boy at a fireworks, candy and puppydog store. A fumble by the man at deep backward point allows Root the two he needs to bring up his 250 and take Yasir Shah to a double ton of his own. The final ball is swept through midwicket for four more. Root is just two off Ken Barrington’s highest Test score for England at Old Trafford.
149th over: England 565-6 (Bairstow 42, Root 248) At this rate England might well be declaring half an hour into the session (see 129th over) after all. It’s buffet bowling from Masood, with Root helping himself to a couple of twos and adding a single before Bairstow runs at the bowler and leathers a half-volley down to the long-off boundary. 12 from the over makes 28 from the last two.
551-6 dec averted!
148th over: England 553-6 (Bairstow 34, Root 243) Azhar Ali from the other end. England are happy to sweep him with little risk from outside leg, Bairstow getting the first ball away for a single and Root the next three to the boundary behind square on the leg-side. The umpires go upstairs to check for a run-out when Bairstow takes a sharp two from the fifth ball, but he’s safer than post-2000 U2.
“Afternoon Lucas, afternoon everybody,” writes surname-happy Robinson, Josh. “I’m really not sure what Steve Lloyd’s complaining about. What’s he got against the 2006 Sri Lankan tour of England or Pakistan’s 2012 tour of Sri Lanka?
Meanwhile Mike Lauff could be after a job as a subeditor here: “Surely infinity is being scored in the Timeless Test?” he asks, correctly.
147th over: England 537-6 (Bairstow 34, Root 228) There are 33 overs still to be bowled today, minus two if we get a declaration or England are bowled out. Masood, none for three from his solitary over so far, to continue his military medium. Root looks to mow him straight back down the ground but only manages to tickle an inside edge, which trickles along the ground to Sarfraz behind the sticks. Four singles.
Meanwhile if anyone wants to follow me on Twitter it’s @DanLucas86. I only say this because I’m on 1,999 followers right now. Don’t worry: I won’t hurt you, I only want you to have. Some. Fun.
Here we go...
“Please tell John Robinson not to mention the Tour Which Shall Not Be Named,” writes Steve Lloyd in an email with the subject line ... well you can guess what score he put in there. “Oh, and infinity is a concept, not a number;if you saw Chris Tavare play for England in the early 1980s you’d get some idea.”
Thanks Vish. England will presumably look to smack it around and get up to 600 then declare, I’ll wager.
Or this, for the LOLZ.
It's going to be 551-6 dec isn't it? Please, please - anything but that! @DanLucas86
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) July 23, 2016
TEA
146th over: England 533-6 (Root 226, Bairstow 32) Two from the over and a lot of back and forth between Bairstow, a chipper Sarfraz and some movement behind the bowler make it drag on. Still, that’s tea. Joe Root walks off having spent exactly 10 hours at the crease. I’m leaving you having worked a bit less. Dan Lucas to take you lovely lot home. Enjoy.
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145th over: England 531-6 (Root 225, Bairstow 31): “I’d have thought that declaring at just over 550 ought to do it, on a score of, say, 551/6,” suggests John Robinson. “I’m sure your reader(s) can tell us if that one’s been scored before.” Don’t encourage them, Josh. Shan Masood bowled a bit of medium pace in that over. Not too shabby. Not great, either.
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144th over: England 528-6 (Root 224, Bairstow 30) One run from the over. Adam Collins, who will be bringing you the OBO tomorrow, is at Old Trafford: “People are giving it ‘Joe Root’s on fire’ but don’t know the line after that. Interchanged with the old Saturday arvo classic: ‘feed the snake and it will grow’. Old stuff > new stuff.” Kill the snake.
143rd over: England 527-6 (Root 223, Bairstow 30) “Surely infinity was scored in the Timeless Test?” corrects Tony Walton. “P.S. Stop with the lowest test score never scored. Do you want to get him out?! Maybe his true target here is Goochy´s 333.” That would be nice. Declaration after tea - maybe have 15/20 overs at Pakistan this evening?
142nd over: England 525-6 (Root 222, Bairstow 29) He does want to get on with it: Azhar Ali comes into the attack, drops short first ball and Root punches him through extra cover for four.
141st over: England 519-6 (Root 217, Bairstow 29) Root thinks about a heave that over. Very out of character in the context of this innings. Looking to get on with it? On that note, Gareth Wilson has made a very good question: “Bit of a random one, but Root has been outscored in every partnership (bar that with Ballance) this innings. That feel unusual- any idea if it is? Seen that Kohl outscored each of his partners yesterday, so wondering whether it means a more mature Root, willing to accumulate rather than force the pace?” I suppose in that comparison, Kohli is a more aggressive batsman than Root, plus India don’t really have the same “bat around the set batsman” mantra that English players grow up with.
140th over: England 514-6 (Root 214, Bairstow 27) Another single from that over. Bill Hargreaves emails in, actually, with a spot of housekeeping: “Dan was correct when he said that ‘infinity, by definition’ is the highest score in a test never made. And in case anyone’s wondering, it was not made by all countries currently playing test cricket.” Think Bradman did it in a club game once, but that was when there were eight-ball overs.
139th over: England 513-6 (Root 213, Bairstow 27) Russell Turner emails in with a message for “William Hargreaves that the second lowest score never made in a test is 238. Then 252, 264, 265...” He stops there (thankfully). One from the over.
138th over: England 512-6 (Root 212, Bairstow 27) Shah is duped into making Bairstow play, from around the wicket, as a succession of deliveries are flicked away with the nonchalant grace of Adel Taarabt. The ball sits up, yells “smite me”, and Bairstow does. Four.
137th over: England 507-6 (Root 211, Bairstow 23) Bairstow swipes and swipes hard as Rahat Ali, replacing Riaz, drags him across off stump. Pakistan ragged in the field, JR and JB rampant between the sticks.
43 overs remain today. Root on 210. Loads of batting left. Gotta be some chance of seeing a triple ton if Cook is willing to chill. #ENGvPAK
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) July 23, 2016
136th over: England 500-6 (Root 209, Bairstow 18) Cheers as England reach 500. Sorry to report that a Viking Clap has begun at Old Trafford.
135th over: England 499-6 (Root 208, Bairstow 18) Eight runs from the Riaz over as he tries to second-guess Root and Bairstow and ends up playing into their hands, as they nab singles around the wicket. Just lot a bit of zip, has Riaz. Understandable, of course, given he’s been in the dirt for a day and a half.
134th over: England 491-6 (Root 205, Bairstow 16) Shah, knackered, fed-up, drops one short that he can’t get away with. Bairstow points both feet down the ground and almost rugby tackles the ball through midwicket. No point bowling him. Get Misbah to bowl some jaunty medium pace or Asad Shafiq to pretend to be a tree. No point subjecting one of your best bowlers to this passage of play.
133rd over: England 484-6 (Root 204, Bairstow 10) Right, everybody out there settle down. A lot has happened in the last few overs. Just two from the over, nothing crazy, behind and in front of point.
132nd over: England 482-6 (Bairstow 9, Root 203) We’re going to have an over of Yasir before what I assume will be drinks and Vish’s return to the OBO hotseat. Bairstow picks up where he left off in the ODIs with his running between the wickets, getting a couple of very sharp twos. Twix them, he crashes a rubbish full-toss through extra-cover for four. Then dropped off the last ball! He whacks the leather off it, edging a cut into Sarfraz’s gloves but the keeper fumbles it.
Very dodgy decision that. Should there be a time limit on DRS decisions? @DanLucas86
— Neil Harris (@njhcricket) July 23, 2016
The latter point is a good one, but I was surprised they took as long as they did. The mark wasn’t there before the ball passed the glove and there was a clear noise, even before you checked snicko.
That’s drinks and it will be Vish to guide you through to tea.
131st over: England 473-6 (Bairstow 1, Root 202) After a long old review, Ben Stokes is adjudged to be out to the first ball of the over ending an entertaining, useful little cameo of 34 from 50 balls. Bairstow comes in at No8, which isn’t a terrible situation for England to be in. He’s up and running with a drive to extra-cover for one.
“There wasn’t a mark on the glove as the ball went past, there was a mark already there. Shocking decision. What are you on about?” That from Richard Vale, who manages to both contradict himself and be entirely wrong in 25 words. Top effort.
Wicket! Stokes c Sarfraz b Wahab 34
Yes he’s gloved it. There’s the faintest hint of a mark on the glove and both snicko and the high-definition mic suggest a tiny noise. If you subscribe to the notion that DRS is there to eradicate the howler then this certainly wasn’t one by the on-field umpire. After an age, it’s given, much to the crowd’s disapproval.
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Review! Stokes c Sarfraz b Wahab 34
Given not out, but Pakistan reckon Stokes has gloved a short one down the leg-side. There’s a noise...
Joe Root double century
130th over: England 471-5 (Stokes 34, Root 201) There it is! And Joe Root does it in exquisite contemporary style: down on one knee and unfurling the reverse sweep to send the ball whistling through backward point for four. That’s a second Test double hundred for your favourite living Englishman. This one from 355 balls with 22 fours.
William Hargreaves writes: “Please ask Tom Botwell what the second lowest score not made in a test is, please? (We can save 229 for Root’s second innings.) And while you’re on the subject, what’s the highest score in a test never made, please? (It probably wasn’t made by Brian Lara, is a clue).”
The latter is infinity, by definition.
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129th over: England 465-5 (Stokes 33, Root 196) Apologies for not namechecking these ones, but a fair few of you have asked when England should declare. Ben Stokes and Joe Root are at the crease, Jonny Bairstow and Moeen Ali are up next and you’re wondering when they should decide they don’t want to bat any more? What the hell is wrong with you people? (An hour or so before the close, as Nick Watson suggests, rather than half an hour after tea as Gary Naylor did. Go big.)
That’s a very productive, boundary-free over that yields seven runs, in three ones and two twos. Wahab gets a warning for running into the pitch and, to compound matters, bumps into Stokes as the latter turned for a second after completing the single that brings up the 50 partnership.
128th over: England 458-5 (Stokes 28, Root 194) Stokes pulls out the sweep again, nailing it firmly but Misbah has a sweeper in for that exact stroke, keeping it to one this time.
Another pin for the map, from Simon Land:
“Hello mate. One out here in Astana, Kazakhstan following closely too. Though this place is getting bigger on the sporting map, believe Celtic are out here Wednesday for Champions League. No sign of any cricket apart from the Nazarbeyev University Wednesday afternoon hit and giggle. Which the only bloke to have played cricket properly, wins. Driven close by an aging passionate Saffer though.
“This Joe Root, he might go far.”
Celtic are playing Leicester in a friendly today I believe. The least likely league champions taking on the most inevitable.
127th over: England 456-5 (Stokes 27, Root 193) Change of bowling as Wahab Riaz replaces Amir. There’s maybe one-sixteenth of a chance of a run-out from a quick single, and that’s being charitable to the fielding side, but the man at cover can’t gather it. Wahab is getting the faintest soupçon of swing back into the left-hander – certainly more than Amir was.
“My 229 (lowest score never made in a Test) radar is starting to light up for Root,” writes jinx machine Tom Bowtell. “I hope he does the decent thing and reach 229 with a nurdled single before deliberately getting out hit the ball the twice.”
I suppose if you’d told Root he was nailed on for 228 before the Test, he’d have taken it.
126th over: England 454-5 (Stokes 26, Root 192) Fine use of the shin pads by the fielder at short-leg, who wears a firm Ben Stokes sweep flush six inches or so above his ankle. With that avenue cut off, Stokes rocks back nicely and times one through extra-cover for four more. Four isn’t enough for him, it seems, as he tries to deposit the spinner into the stands, but he’s a lucky boy as the top-edge from his slog-sweep goes high before landing in no-man’s land.
125th over: England 448-5 (Stokes 21, Root 191) Amir beats Stokes with an absolute beauty that comes back into him and misses the outside edge but not a lot and the off-stump by even less.
This isn’t a new one, I’d wager, but if Richard is right and the Australians are reading, then you guys have a voyeur.
Hi @DanLucas86 I'm in Kandy in the same hotel as @CricketAust & @OfficialSLC . Aussies all reading obo I suspect pic.twitter.com/z5FMXwlVRn
— Richard Morris (@richardmorrisuk) July 23, 2016
124th over: England 447-5 (Stokes 20, Root 191) “I’ve always found the Manchester crowd to be quite a knowledgeable one,” says Shane Warne. Warne obviously wasn’t sat in the stand square of the wicket in the evening session of day one of the India Test two years ago, when the boozed up England fans near me started to get a bit unpleasant. Maiden.
123rd over: England 447-5 (Stokes 20, Root 191) Another lovely cover drive brings Root one. Pakistan seem to be playing into England’s hands a little bit here: the field is spread for Root allowing him to rotate the strike and let Stokes play the aggressor. Case in point: the former plays a graceful cover drive for one then, a few balls later, Stokes clambers into a bouncer and pulls it for his fourth four. Five off the over for the third in a row.
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122nd over: England 442-5 (Stokes 16, Root 190) This is a better line from Yasir to Root: fuller and straighter. A push into the off-side and a dash take Root into the 190s. Stokes then cuts loose, stepping down the track and swishing up and wide of the man at mid-on for a one-bounce four.
121st over: England 437-5 (Stokes 12, Root 189) Root plays a lovely drive through cover, getting forward to the pitch of the ball outside off and caressing it to the man in the deep for one, meaning we get our first look at Amir v Stokes. Two slips, two men in the deep on the leg-side but somehow Stokes bisects the latter with a perfectly timed flick through backward square for the first boundary of the afternoon.
“Stick another pin in the OBO map,” writes Andy Killeen from Qinghai Province in China, “as I have just hurried back to my hotel here in Xining, Qinghai Province, PRC, to see how England are getting on, after giving a snake to a beggar. (That is not a euphemism).”
Why did you have a snake on you, Andy? And does a Guardian writer want to know what’s going to become of it?
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120th over: England 432-5 (Stokes 8, Root 188) “How’s that?” asks Yasir when Stokes misses out on a slog-sweep. He’s been hit miles outside the line of off-stump and it’s missing comfortably in any case, so you know the answer. As Shane Warne points out, with Yasir bowling from so wide on the crease it’s nearly impossible for a leg-spinner to get an lbw decision then the batsman plays forward. Two singles from the over, flicked into the leg-side by Stokes and dropped into the off by Root, meaning the ball ended up in pretty much the same place for both.
119th over: England 430-5 (Stokes 7, Root 187) Amir from the other end, replacing Azhar “The Prince That Was Promised” Ali. A joke for Game of Thrones book readers, there. Root leans into one of the six slanted across him but, alas, his timing deserts him and there’s no run from the push to mid-off.
I think we can stick a new pin in the OBO readers map. Hello!
@DanLucas86 OBOing in Naoshima in Japan's inland sea, even here folk are wondering how England can screw it up now
— FriendsOfLochendPark (@LochendPark) July 23, 2016
118th over: England 430-5 (Stokes 7, Root 187) It’s Yasir Shah first up after lunch, into his 41st over of the innings and bowling to Root. He’s round the wicket and so wide that he’s almost outside the tramlines. It could be that he’s desperately trying to avoid running on to the pitch, something for which Pakistan were warned a few times in the first Test. With a four-man attack toiling, they can hardly afford for it to be reduced to three. Speaking of three, that’s how many singles come from the over.
The players are coming back out. I assume: we’ve cut to a highlights montage, but play is due to resume in 90 seconds or so.
Not safe for work, obviously.
From elsewhere on the Guardian
I’m seriously tempted to make this an afternoon session riff. I quite like my job though, so won’t.
Yesterday's @guardian_sport comment winner pic.twitter.com/xK9qoBsKOb
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) July 23, 2016
Beyond the impressive score of 427 for five, there is good news for England, for their fans, for the neutrals and for your sleep-deprived OBOer. Joe Root is pulling out the reverse-sweeps and looking funky, Ben bloody Stokes is at the crease and therefore no more than half an hour from doing something amazing, good or bad, and they have stroke-makers to come. They have gone at 3.64 an over so far and you would imagine they’ll look to push that up: even if they collapse to, say 500 all out, that’s still a fine score.
Five hundred-odd should, after all, be a fairly safe score. England’s No4 is scoring big while their opponents’ vaunted leg-spinner has one for 100+, is tossing it up wide of leg-stump and doesn’t exactly look like striking the fear of god into England’s brave men in the third innings. This is unloseable.
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Merci, Vish. Before I run for a much-needed coffee after getting all of two hours’ sleep last night (thanks, heatwave), I give you a stat courtesy of your friend and mine, the great Rob Smyth:
“Joe Root’s love of a big, unbeaten hundred means he averages 305.60 when he makes a century, which is the third highest of anyone with 10 Test hundreds.”
I know the term “statgasm” is very much yours, Rob, but that is a mighty statgasm.
LUNCH
117th over: England 427-5 (Root 185, Stokes 6) No dice - part-time spin will see us to the interval as Stokes reads Ali off the pitch to play him off the back foot. And that’s lunch: 112 runs and just one wicket in the session. Beastily second session in the offing with Root, Stokes, Bairstow and Moeen set to free their arms. That’s lunch, Dan Lucas will be joining you shortly.
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116th over: England 424-5 (Root 183, Stokes 5) Big turn into the left-hander out of the rough. So Stokes drives out of it twice to get a single and then a four through extra cover. What a bloke.
115th over: England 417-5 (Root 181, Stokes 0) Root picks three off Azhar Ali, who keeps Stokes honest for the rest of the over with some decent length deliveries. Worth chucking on a full-time bowler with Stokes fresh to the crease and little time till lunch? Should get one more from this end after Shah’s over...
If England reversed this batting order, they would have a stronger four and five.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 23, 2016
114th over: England 414-5 (Root 178, Stokes 0)
Fair play to Ramiz Raja – he called it. Both Woakes and Root were looking to score runs wherever possible and with Shah getting a good deal of turn from the rough, the chance for a return catch off a leading edge was high. A huge ovation for Ben Stokes as he strides out to the crease.
Nightwatchman Chris Woakes gone for 58 ... had just started discussing @YCCCDizzy 201* being in danger with a colleague too
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 23, 2016
Ali’s fault
WICKET! Woakes c & b Shah 58 (England 414-5)
Shah reaps the reward of coming around the wicket – Woakes tries to work the ball off the bounce but can only bunt back to the bowler. After 39 overs, Shah has his first wicket of the match.
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113th over: England 412-4 (Root 177, Woakes 57) A nicely timed shot through midwicket only brings one but does bring up the 100 partnership from 168 deliveries.
What we've learned here is that all nightwatchmen should be genuine top-six batsmen.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 23, 2016
112th over: England 407-4 (Root 175, Woakes 54) Root enters the top 10 England Test scores against Pakistan as he moves to 175 with a single off the first delivery.
111th over: England 405-4 (Root 174, Woakes 53) Surprised that Root is so keen to reverse sweep Ali given how erratic he is. I’ve always assumed it’s a shot played best when you know that a spinner is hammering out a particular length. Not so for Joe, who nabs two behind point with the shot.
110th over: England 401-4 (Root 171, Woakes 51) Shah targets the rough created by Riaz’s spell from around the wicket and there’s something there for him. Woakes isn’t quite as comfortable with the ball turning sharply across him. While he gets off strike, the last ball, to Root, turns square out of the rough and into the hands of Younus Khan at wide first slip. Oh my.
Yes Woakesy!! Class innings!! Definitely has the potential, skills and batsman mindset to bat in the 6 for England! 👏🙌👌 #ENGvPAK #woakes
— James Taylor (@jamestaylor20) July 23, 2016
Chris Woakes fifty (88 balls; eight fours, one six)
109th over: England 400-4 (Joe Root 171, Woakes 51) Some part-time leg spin from Azhar Ali allows Chris Woakes to work a full toss into the deep on the leg side for a single to take him to his second Test half century. A reverse sweep is a very high risk shot for just one, square. Root doesn’t mind, though. A sweep around the corner for another single brings up the team 400. Batted.
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Root sweeps Yasir for 4 and moves to 170, the highest Test score by Yorkshire player at Old Trafford, passing Michael Vaughan's 166 in 2005
— Simon Wilde (@swildecricket) July 23, 2016
108th over: England 397-4 (Root 170, Woakes 49) A straight delivery from Shah is paddled around the corner to take Woakes to 48, before nudging him around that same corner for a single. A firm sweep from Root finishes with a four through midwicket. Pakistan wilting already – 20 runs have come from the last two overs.
107th over: England 388-4 (Root 166, Woakes 44) Four leg byes and a skewed four from Root see Riaz move to over the wicket in the hope of something new. Root picks up a couple to midwicket and then lets the final ball slide past him.
106th over: England 377-4 (Root 160, Woakes 44) Shah giving the all a bit of air outside the off stump. While Woakes sees off a wide delivery for a single, Root misjudges the length of one and edges to first slip. But Younus Khan is too high and the chance goes down. And it was a chance, even if Khan got nowhere near it. Poor reactions from him – his third drop of the series.
105th over: England 371-4 (Root 155, Woakes 43) Easy four for Woakes as Riaz, around the wicket, sears one into the pads, meaning a tickle gets it racing away inside fine leg. A better ball at the ribs is ridden well for a single.
104th over: England 365-4 (Root 154, Woakes 38) Shah continues after drinks with a silly point in place to prevent the batsmen from driving as frequently as they have. Just one from the over.
103rd over: England 364-4 (Root 153, Woakes 38) Much tighter from Riaz, as Woakes plays solid and straight before pinching a single to cover. Root wants two behind point but settles for one and the strike. Drinks drinks drinks.
102nd over: England 362-4 (Root 152, Woakes 37) Easy as you like for Root against Shah, who isn’t getting as much purchase from this surface as he’d like. There is nothing from the last five balls, as Root presses forward, safe in the knowledge that runs are flowing at the other end. The two off the first ball brings up the fifty partnership from 95 balls.
Root 150 (269 balls)
101st over: England 360-4 (Root 150, Woakes 37) Change at both ends as Wahab Riaz replaces Rahat Ali. He begins around the wicket to both right handers and, after Root gets to 150 – his fifth score of 150 or more in 44 Tests! – Woakes drives him through extra cover for four.
Root joins an even more exclusive club - five 150s by the age of 26. Bradman (10), Tendulkar (6), Harvey, Miandad, Sobers, Root (all 5).
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) July 23, 2016
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100th over: England 352-4 (Root 147, Woakes 33) Not quite timed, but another four for Woakes, this time through midwicket. Yasir Shah, replacing Amir, drops one short, allowing the allrounder to drag him to the rope.
99th over: England 347-4 (Root 146, Woakes 29) These two look so settled. Amir’s pace is definitely down and both are playing him with ease, not least because his knee injury seems to be hindering the one that comes into the right hander.
And on day six, God said: “Look, does anyone have Woakes number?”
Yes @chriswoakes. "I'm just going to nonchalantly uppercut Amir for six." What a shot #ENGvPAK https://t.co/7siP9pmo2Y
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 23, 2016
98th over: England 345-4 (Root 145, Woakes 28) Oh Christopher... the pipes, the pipes are calling. Amir goes short and Woakes just angles the bat to guide him high above the slips for six. It’s a shot that Sachin Tendulkar perfected when he decided to pack away the hook shot. And Woakes has nailed it for a first six in Test cricket.
97th over: England 337-4 (Root 144, Woakes 21) Woakes dominating the strike at the moment, not least because Root doesn’t have it for long, with singles behind point coming easily to him. After five dots, playing into off side fielders, Woakes is given a release: short ball down the leg side is helped on its way for his fourth four.
96th over: England 333-4 (Root 144, Woakes 17) For a moment – just the smallest moment – it looked like Joe Root had holed out to square leg (again). No such error, rolling the wrists late and ensuring the ball reached Yasir Shah after a few bounces. At ease...
95th over: England 331-4 (Root 143, Woakes 16) Belter from Woakes: Rahat Ali goes across him, he gets forward, slightly leg side of the ball, and drives through cover for four, beating the deep point fielder with ease.
Woakes (32.44) has the 6th highest Test career batting avg going in as nightwatchman (min 10 inns).
— Andrew Samson (@AWSStats) July 23, 2016
Best Jack Russell 38.41 E v WI 1990
94th over: England 327-4 (Root 143, Woakes 12) After each delivery, Mohammad Amir limps back to his mark, rubbing and stretching out his right knee, which is causing him discomfort. Not that you can tell: a succession of deliveries moving away and lifting on Chris Woakes has the right-hander beaten regularly outside off stump. From possum to rampant shark in a matter of moments. Top Djokovicing.
93rd over: England 324-4 (Root 142, Woakes 11) Nasty blow on Chris Woakes’ right forearm, as the final delivery from Rahat Ali rears up and catches him just above the elbow on the back of his forearm. He looked OK for a moment but is struggling to grip the bat. A bit of a delay as he receives treatment.
92nd over: England 324-4 (Root 142, Woakes 11)
Single apiece, both through point. “I played in a U14/13 cricket game where the opposition coach did deliberately sent out a ‘tea-watchman’,” informs Graeme Thorn. “A two-session game meant that the changeover was normally around tea, so I think he was hoping he could keep batting until then and then declare, but I’ve still not quite understood what he was trying to do.” That’s absurd. And typical of a few youth coaches I played under. One coach spent an entire session teaching us about how to effectively execute the Bodyline tactic. We were 10.
91st over: England 322-4 (Root 131, Woakes 10) Nightwatchman Smightsmatchman: Woakes cuts Rahat Ali for four through point, following up with a cover drive to an over-correction, as Ali comes straighter and fuller.
90th over: England 314-4 (Root 141, Woakes 2) Mohammad Amir starts the day with five outside off stump that Joe Root leaves. The final delivery, floppy seamed, implores Root to play only to leave him hanging. Early shout: belting first hour on the cards.
The Guardian’s own Ali Martin – read his take on day one here – with a few questions that have always bugged him on the subject of nightwatchmen: “Why are nightwatchmen rarely deployed in place of the openers when an innings begins with an over or two of the day remaining, but those precious flowers down get such protection? Why is the end of the day the only session that sees nightwatchman used? Why not lunch and tea? And why should a session end at the fall of a wicket in the final over? This is only to the advantage of the batting side...”
I firmly believe that the only reason nightwatchmen aren’t used as openers is because of how ridiculous it would look to have a number nine and 10 walking to the crease together (I do remember Sri Lanka doing something like this a few years ago). I’ve long been an advocate of the lunch watchman. And the last point is bang on: it seems to be a bit like “Ah mate, don’t bother walking out all the way to the middle. We were more or less done here anyway. Let’s bugger off and come back tomorrow.”
A good morning to John Starbuck, who emails in with some gleanings from Channel Five’s highlights:
“1) Ali Cook must have been using a favourite bat of considerable vintage, held together with oodles of tape. Makes one wonder why he doesn’t always use that one.
“2) Pakistan quicks are being extremely disciplined about not bowling front-foot no-balls; the front foot is usually at least a foot length behind the line.
“3) Mohammed Amir is morphing into Freddie Mercury.”
“Hypothetical question (and a guaranteed jinx)...” will give you the benefit of the doubt here, Chris Evans. “What happens if Woakes scores a composed hundred today? Is he in line to take a spot (Vince’s) in the top 6 to bring in another bowler?” I don’t think he does even though there’s a strong argument that he should. I can definitely see that being the case in India, mind. Though not so much Woakes slotting into the top six, more everyone moving up and Adil Rashid slotting in lower down.
“Also, what happened to Pakistan’s over rate? They bowled 89 and Yasir bowled 31. It can’t all be down to Wahab bowling 43 overs worth of no balls can it?” It probably was, you know. And other random bits of faffing about.
Also included some advice from Bumble on how to make the most of your allotment
The fountain of knowledge that is @BumbleCricket... 😂 https://t.co/wWTLtnF8fV
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) July 23, 2016
Really great discussion on Sky: “The Debate”, I believe it’s called. Not so much a debate, more Ward, Bumble, Nasser and Athers chewing the fat on the decline of silly point (Atherton puts it down to the advent of DRS and how batsmen are no longer playing with bat alongside pad, meaning very few pop-ups), the change in the county schedule (a reduced workload will no doubt benefit county cricketers but the loss of outgrounds, Nasser believes, will reduce the number of turning surfaces to work with) and the mooted bat changes (which they all agreed were nonsense). I *think* it’ll be available on a podcast or Sky Sports. Very good.
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PREAMBLE
Morning everyone. Now then, let’s not beat about the bush. Sure, England have bounced back from a humbling at Lord’s with a pretty stonking first day at Old Trafford. Alastair Cook and Joe Root further cemented their legacies while the support acts struggled to be seen. Apart from James Vince, of course, who will always turn heads but, at this rate, will never get any one to commit to his worth. But, despite being 314-4, England opted for a nightwatchman with nine first class hundreds. It’s bygone era cricketness gone mad. Jonny Bairstow is batting at eight. Cats chase dog. What have we done? The flip side to this is that Ben Stokes asked Alastair Cook if he could have a nightwatchman and Chris Woakes said “hell yes - I’ll bat at six!”
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Vish will be here shortly.
