Sam Curran has his say ...
Not a great return for Fawad Alam ...
Vic Marks reports on the day’s play.
Stumps: Pakistan 126-5
That’s all, pedants: play has been abandoned for the day. It’s been a good one for England and particularly Jimmy Anderson, who took Test wickets 591 and 592 to help reduce Pakistan to a precarious 126 for five. See you in the morning for more coruscating punctuation chit-chat. Bye!
We’ve had 45.4 overs today, so half a day plus four balls. The forecast is mixed for the next few days, with thunderstorms possible. The bad news is the cricket could be ruined; the good news is we’ll have hours to talk about acronyms, apostrophes and economy-rates.
Say haven’t you noticed?/I ate the Potus
“I’m an Anglo-American dual-national living in the USA,” says David Keech, “so I thought I’d add a little light on the discussion. In America it’s always a word – P-O-T-U-S standing for President of the United States. We also have SOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) and many others in this acronym crazy country.
“No reason I suppose why the UK should lower itself to follow USA usage but over here we definitely use all caps for acronyms. It is FIFA, NASA, UNICEF. Also in baseball ERA (for earned run average) etc.”
P-O-T-U-S is quite a mouthful, no? Surely it’s easier to say [insert preferred term of abuse here, ideally with no more than two syllables].
“Hola from New York!” says Jonathan Lowndes. “Having a lunchtime michelada in front of the obo. Quick question: how do you pronounce the first syllable of Grauniad? Does it rhyme with F1 legend Ross Brawn, or producer of National Lampoon’s Vacation and Who’s the Boss Ross Brown?”
This is so meta that my head is spinning. Given the nature of the question, I don’t know whether I’m supposed to give you the correct or incorrect answer. Also: I don’t know the answer.
I think it’s Ross Browniad isn’t it? Or, as Ian Copestake would say, T’Pauniad.
Warne v Murali (aka Thank Goodness I’m Not On Twitter)
“I think there’s a certain amount of debate regarding whether ‘most people’ (outside Australia at least) rate Warne above Murali,” says Keiran Betteley. “I think it swings on the bowlers they bowled with, Warne had to deal with the fact that McGrath et al were going to be taking wickets at the other end, so perhaps he could have gotten more. On the flip side, if you had Murali bowling at you, you knew that if you could just keep him out, you could make hay with the rest of Sri Lanka’s bowlers (I may be doing a disservice to Vaas and Herath here). Perhaps that helps Murali’s average, though their economies aren’t vastly different.
“I always felt the controversy over his action was a little unfair, and possibly wouldn’t have happened had he been Indian, English or Australian. (Ajmal was a very different case here, though a terrible shame as he seemed a nice chap). Sort of feel that Murali was thrown a bone pretty much because every fast bowler had been extending far more but the fact that only he seemed to have it hanging over him always seemed unfair. Warne on the other hand could genuinely brush things off because ‘that’s Warney’.
I mean, either of them would get a game for the Unavoidables CC, but if you had to pick one, I’m not sure it’s as clear cut as all that. I’d go for Murali. My brother on the other hand would think this was insane...”
I suppose it’s anecdotal. Most people I’ve heard, certainly most ex-players on TV, rate Warne higher for two reasons in particular: he was a smarter bowler and was better under the most extreme pressure. I suppose depends on the context. If I’d been a county chairman circa 2000, I’d definitely have gone for Murali. If it was a World Cup semi-final and we were looking down the barrel, I’d want Warne.
“Hello Rob,” says Peter Ashbourne. “On the subject of abbreviations, the ever-perceptive Douglas Adams queried why we say ‘www’, given it has three times as many syllables as ‘world wide web’.”
I now have visions of my grandad scratching his head, trying to work out why ‘worldwideweb.tesco.com’ won’t load.
Waca-mole Philip Cornwall, our chief sub-editor, has written it to settle this once and for all: “Nato has nuclear weapons and we don’t give it capitals.”
Talking of weapons, what’s our style for Potus/POTUS? I don’t think it’s ever fallen out of my mouth but assume it’s prounced as a word.
The light is still unplayable, and play will probably be abandoned in the next few minutes.
“Sorry to call back to Tim’s section of the report, but I’m only just catching up with the day now,” writes Paul Birrell. “My youngest son Finn was born on 31/7/14. A full 364 days later, Steve Finn was skittling the Aussies at Edgbaston, taking 5-45 in the day. So on (our) Finn’s 1st birthday, the Graun ran a ‘The Mighty Finn’ headline. Cut out, kept. If Steve’s reading, there’s a pint at the bar for him for that one.”
“WACA vs Waca - which is technically correct?” says David Keech. “Is WACA an acronym for something? (West Australia Cricket Association? Pure guess on my part). If so it should be WACA. If it’s just a bona fide name with no other meaning, then surely it should be Waca following normal proper noun rules. Am I right? Opinions please.”
It’s an acronym, but in the Guardian style guide it’s Waca because we say ‘Wacker’ rather than ‘Double you, eh, see, eh’. See also Fifa, Unicef, Nasa.
“About Tufnell having amazing economy, it is worth mentioning that he bowled a lot of overs over the wicket, outside leg stump, which back then batsmen were happy to kick away for hours on end,” says Mike Morris. “Whether this was due to Atherton’s captaincy, or Tufnell going into his shell when he got a bit of treatment, is a moot point, although England didn’t seem to build up his confidence. Because he’s become a TV personality, people forget a: what a good bowler he could be and b: how much England messed him around. A lot of pretty average spinners were picked ahead of him for no real reason.”
I always felt that was slightly overplayed – I can’t remember him bowling outside leg stump that often, and if he did (eg Brisbane 1994) it was usually when the opposition were chasing a declaration and therefore on the attack. I agree that we forget how good he was, though – at the start of his career he took five-fors in three consecutive Test wins, which is almost unprecedented for an England spinner. A year later he was being left out in India for someone who wasn’t even in the original tour party. Stuff like that takes out a lease in the subconscious.
Tufnell didn’t help himself at times but, like so many of that generation, he would have been so much better in an era of central contracts and consistent selection. England had a good side in the 1990s; they just forgot to pick it. (I still don’t know what the answer to the allrounder problem is, and I think about it most days, even now.)
“I hope you call it the WACA on the OBO,” says Digvijay Yadav. “Always bugged me to read the match reports and see it spelled Waca because the Guardian style guide didn’t allow it.”
A rebellion on that scale is more than my life’s worth, never mind my job. Actually, I’ve found a few WACAs in the early years of the OBO, including one in 2009-10. But they got to us before the 2010-11 Ashes.
“Just as we note that leftie Sam Curran is usually on the winning side, so it might be worth factoring the same thing into Abdul Qadir’s record,” says John Starbuck. “Good wrist-spinners are rare, even on the sub-continent, compared to other types of bowler; much of their value lies in upsetting batsmen unfamiliar with the method. Other bowlers can profit from this, so a count of, not so much the leggie wickets, but wickets for their side overall. There must be a plus-minus balance worth looking at.”
Yes, agreed. It’s one of the many reasons why most people rate Shane Warne (708 wickets at 25.41) above Muttiah Muralitharan (800 at 22.72).
There won’t be any more play. This isn’t official - but trust me, I’ve seen the near future, and it’s Eggheads.
Updated
Don’t Stop Believin’’’’’
“Brave man,” says Steve Tayler. “You are going to be inundated with a distinct opinion in each mail! Here’s mine - three apostrophes.
- in place of the missing “g”
- closing the opening quote mark
- possessive apostrophe (of the ‘mandate’)”
Yep, you’re right – I hadn’t registered the quote mark at the start of the song title. In my defence, I am thick. And the Guardian style guide advises against using quotation marks in titles, so I’ve kinda stopped seeing them. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
titles
Do not italicise or put in quotes titles of books, films, TV programmes, paintings, songs, albums or anything else.
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Words in titles take initial caps except for a, and, at, for, from, in, of, on, the, to (except in initial position or after a colon): A Tale of Two Cities, Happy End of the World, Shakespeare in Love, Superman: The Early Years, I’m in Love With the Girl on a Certain Manchester Megastore Checkout Desk, etc.
Exception: the Review and the Observer, which still italicise titles
There’s no immediate prospect of play. The rain has stopped but it is extremely gloomy.
“Dear old thing, you can’t talk about Abdul Qadir without contextualising,” says Robert Wilson. “It’s about the pitches on which he played. The least leggie-friendly ever. It was the era of seam or nuttin’. Even swing bowling seemed a little 1940s. We had forgotten that leggies existed. Qadir was like some Jeeves and Wooster character popping up in the middle of The Great Rock ‘n Roll Swindle. Every last atom of ground prep was to maximise seamer advantage. He bowled on something worse than roads and got a lot of tap because of it. But when he sang, he soared. You know it’s true.”
I’ll see your purple prose and raise you a hardcore stat. He took over 70 per cent of his wickets in Pakistan, which suggests not all pitches were unfriendly. I agree that he single-lippedly gave mystery spin the kiss of life for almost the entirety of the 1980s. He got 216 Test wickets in the decade; no other wristspinner managed 50.
“Hi Rob,” says Steve Pye. “Just to let people know - the Test highlights are on BBC Four tonight at 7.”
“Re. the debate about Archer,” begins David Murray. “Has he really been ‘treated with a thundering lack of empathy’? Is there any evidence he was being overbowled against his will or better judgement? There seems to be an implication that not only the tabloid press but Root or other management are also a bit racist. Again, I don’t deny the possibility but if that is the charge then it’s a strong one and I’m not really sure what the evidence is. Are there inside sources we don’t know about, or I haven’t heard?”
I don’t think the general attitude is born of racism, more a suspicion of outsiders that has been evident throughout my cricket-watching lifetime. I should made it clearer – the empathy comment referred more to the general tone of suspicion in the media (traditional and social), and the ludicrous overreaction to his good and bad days.
I’ve been guilty of that too, certainly on his good days – I think I wrote last summer that he might already be the best England bowler I’ve ever seen, which seems ridiculous now, though he has the necessary.
I don’t think Root is a great captain and I think he has misused Archer at times, but that and a couple of awkward post-match interviews were all I was referring to; I’ve no reason to believe there is any kind of dressing-room problem to compare with the back end of Kevin Pietersen’s career. The reason I mentioned Eoin Morgan is simply because he has a degree in people and I think it would help Archer to spend a bit of time in his team. And he’d only have to bowl four-over spells, which might help with his elbow.
“Re: Abdul Qadir’s high average,” says Avitaj Mitra. “It’s pretty common for leg/wristspinners to have higher averages (above thirty) because they tend to bowl a lot more loose balls (because they rely on their wrist for spin, sacrificing control) compared to offspinners who have better control because they rely on spin generated from fingers. Hence why Shane Warne was so freakishly good, with his ability to bowl long spells without bad deliveries.”
Yes, that sums it perfectly. But I find it still jars slightly, even though I know it shouldn’t. Kumble is an interesting one - a completely different type of legspinner, but his economy rate of 2.69 was terrific.
“Tuffers may have been (and still is IMHO) many things,” says Charles Sheldrick. “But no one, not even the man himself should ever get away with calling him ordinary…”
I think the story was in Mike Atherton’s autobiography, though I might have added the ‘fakkin’.
Edit: yes, here we go, page 201 of the paperback.
Phil Tufnell was constantly in a flap. For a start, Warne spun the ball twice as far as Tufnell, who often looked innocuous in comparison. ‘That bloke’s making me look crap! He’s ruing my career!’ Tufnell constantly complained.
“Does anyone know why the BBC have put the highlights back to 11:30 in the evening?” asks Martin Shepherd. “Surely after all the fanfare about the BBC getting cricket back on terrestrial TV after all this time, they haven’t given up on the 7:00 slot already!!!”
I didn’t know that had happened, but it certainly merits three exclamation marks. It might be temporary measure because of the snooker.
Rain stops play
45.4 overs: Pakistan 126-5 (Babar Azam 25, Mohammad Rizwan 4) A storm is coming, Frank said. In fact, it’s already here. After four balls of Woakes’ over, the last of which swerves past Rizwan’s outside edge, rain stops play once again.
Updated
45th over: Pakistan 124-5 (Babar Azam 24, Mohammad Rizwan 3) If they’re not careful, Pakistan will lose the series in this session. It’s been a story of good batting bowling rather than negligent batting, so we shouldn’t be too harsh. Mohammad Rizwan gets off the mark with a really pretty on-drive for three, and then Babar is beaten by a trampolining lifter from Broad.
“Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “An afternoon of cricket and discussions of quotation marks – basically my dream, what with being a copy-editor and all. Recently came across the wonderful Richard Ayoade correctly using three apostrophes in a row, viz - doubt, disorientation and infinite rage are not within ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’’s mandate. Of course as you are quoting me quoting him while following the OBO style guide, it is even better: ‘doubt, disorientation and infinite rage are not within “Don’t Stop Believin’’”s mandate.’ I also like cricket.”
I usually proofread every email before publishing, but we have no Paracetamol in the house so I think I’ll give this one a miss. Okay, I couldn’t help myself - in the first example, shouldn’t there be two apostrophes? I’m sure I’m missing something, and I’ll be sure to blame it on the brain-melting challenges of OBOing rather than my failure to re-read Eats, Shoots & Leaves once a year.
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44th over: Pakistan 120-5 (Babar Azam 23, Mohammad Rizwan 0)
WICKET! Pakistan 120-5 (Fawad Alam LBW b Woakes 0)
He’s gone! The ball just pitched in line and would have hit the top of middle stump. It was a cracking delivery from Woakes, which snarled back off the seam as Fawad fell over towards the off side. Poor bloke. He’s waited 11 years for this, and it lasted four balls. I haven’t known such an anticlimax since [that’ll do - Ed].
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43.5 overs: Pakistan 120-4 (Babar Azam 23, Fawad Alam 0) Chris Woakes replaces Sam Curran. Pakistan are one wicket away from a predicament, though you wouldn’t know iut from the seremity of Babar’s batting. He works Woakes confidently for three before the left-handed Fawad survives a big shout for LBW. England are gong to review. I reckon it pitched outside leg.
Updated
43rd over: Pakistan 117-4 (Babar Azam 20, Fawad Alam 0) Fawad Alam, whose last Test appearance in 2009, is the new batsman. He has spent the last 11 years sculpting a mighty first-class average of 56.78. He has a bizarre stance - he starts square-on, not unlike Shivarine Chanderpaul, and then walks into a side-on position when the bowler is in his delivery stride.
WICKET! Pakistan 117-4 (Asaq Shafiq c Sibley b Broad 5)
Goddim. Shafiq pushes at a good delivery from Broad and edges low to third slip, where Sibley gets down smartly to take the catch. Shafiq is a high-class batsman with only one weakness: he doesn’t score enough runs.
Updated
42nd over: Pakistan 113-3 (Babar Azam 20, Asad Shafiq 1) An errant delivery from Curran deflects away for three leg byes. Meanwhile, cricket was fun these last 143 years.
“Yasir Shah is a touch over five and a half wickets per Test,” says Romeo. “I may have mentioned this to you before. I have to everyone else.”
It’s quite surprising to see he has an average in the thirties. Mind you so did Abdul Qadir, and he was the genius’s genius.
41st over: Pakistan 106-3 (Babar Azam 17, Asad Shafiq 0) Broad replaces Anderson, who stays in the game by making an excellent stop at mid-on. England are bowling superbly just now, and Broad beats Babar all ends up with a vicious legcutter. Even Bradman would have struggled to nick that.
40th over: Pakistan 104-3 (Babar Azam 15, Asad Shafiq 0) Curran is bowling an excellent line to the new batsman Shafiq, on or around fourth stump for the most part. Another maiden.
“Sometimes,” says Emma John, “I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.”
I’m voting for Dukakis.
39th over: Pakistan 104-3 (Babar Azam 15, Asad Shafiq 0) Babar is beaten thrice during an excellent over from Anderson that also includes an edge along the ground for a couple. Anderson was fortunate to play in this game but he has been close to his best.
38th over: Pakistan 102-3 (Babar Azam 13, Asad Shafiq 0) Asad Shafiq is beaten by his first ball. Curran has good figures of 8-1-19-1.
I don’t know whether he’s a golden arm on legs, a Chaminda Vaas tribute in the making or what, but Sam Curran always seems to make things happen. He has picked up Abid Ali for 60 with a nice piece of bowling. Curran followed a series of full, straight deliveries with a back-of-a-length ball angled across Adif Ali, who fenced it to second slip. Really good bowling, that. “He’s outfoxed him,” says Wasim Akram on commentary.
WICKET! Pakistan 102-3 (Abid Ali c Burns c Curran 60)
Let’s all keep writing Sam Curran off, shall we.
Updated
37th over: Pakistan 96-2 (Abid Ali 54, Babar Azam 13) Babar Azam plays a beautiful stroke, jumping back in his crease to caress Anderson through midwicket for four.
“Following up Karl’s point,” says Philip Rebbeck, “if you are comparing Tufnell to Warne the more salient point would be wickets per test. Warne took nearly 5 wickets per Test throughout his career, which is extraordinary, the Cat fewer than 3.”
Oh, I don’t think anyone was comparing them overall, just in terms of economy rate. Even Tufnell didn’t do that, except to lament that that fella’s making me look fakkin ordinary.
36th over: Pakistan 89-2 (Abid Ali 51, Babar Azam 9) There’s a soupcon of swing for Curran, no more than that, and Babar Azam deals with him comfortably. As admirable (and matchwinning) a cricketer as Curran is, I can’t help thinking England should have picked Ollie Robinson or Mark Wood. I told you, I can’t help it!
35th over: Pakistan 87-2 (Abid Ali 51, Babar Azam 7) Abid Ali edges Anderson short of slip and through for a couple of runs. That takes him to a fiercely determined fifty, the first of his Test career (he has two hundreds and an average of 81, which takes the sting out of that potential statgasm). He is beaten off the last ball of the over, fencing needlessly at a back-of-a-length delivery outside off.
“I’ve just noticed Tim’s reference to Doug Bollinger and his hilarious hot hair piece, and other cricketers who have spotted rugs,” says Steve Hudson. “Does anyone else remember Didier Camberabero, the French fly half, who turned up to the 1991 rugby world cup with a very obvious wig? Amazingly, no-one managed to pull it off, which is incredible.”
Have we mentioned the bald Sanath Jayasuriya, who was bald, dislocating his shoulder while reaching for the shampoo, while bald? I used to find this entirely hilarious until the day arrived and I realised that, yep, even bald men use shampoo for the bits at the side.
Updated
34th over: Pakistan 85-2 (Abid Ali 49, Babar Azam 7) Curran has one delivery remaining in his sixth over. It’s a wide yorker that is defended by Abid Ali.
Tea was taken at 3.40pm, as scheduled, which means we’ll have a bumper evening session: about four or five days. (Okay, a maximum of three hours.)
“Dear Rob,” says Karl White. “I read this last night and haven’t been blown away by a cricket fact as much in years. As a 1990s Test fan, I felt obliged to share with you: ‘His [Phil Tufnell’s] Test economy rate, though, was a fantastic 2.42 — which made him the third-best in the 1990s with anyone over a hundred Test wickets — behind just Curtly Ambrose and Shaun Pollock, and ahead of the likes of Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, and Anil Kumble.’”
I make the statistics slightly different (career economy rate 2.42, 2.37 in the 1990s) but it’s still an excellent spot. It doesn’t surprise me he had a decent economy rate, though I’m surprised it was that good. The spectacular start to his career helped, with matchwinning performances like the one in Christchurch in 1991-92: 46.1-25-47-7 puts a lot of credit in the economy-rate bank. It also helped that he only played two Tests in the 2000s, when scoring rates went through the roof. Shane Warne, for example, had an economy rate of 2.39 in the 1990s and 2.95 in 2000s. And poor old Tuffers was marmalised by Australia in his last appearance.
“It’s the first time in three days it’s been cool enough to leave my flat so I’m going out for a walk and DARING this thunderstorm to intervene and stop me. (I was quite, quite cross when I discovered the rain that swept across the rest of the country skirted London yesterday.) Please could you organise for there to be some cricket for me to listen to as I walk?”
Who do you think I am, Donnie Darko?
Play will resume at 4pm.
There will be another inspection at 3.45pm BST, 3.45am SST (on Friday).
“Afternoon, Rob,” says Digvijay Yadav. “Where do you stand on this Archer business? I think he’s done alright in his first year in Test cricket but England (or the fans) think if he’s going to bowl mid 80s and swing it around there are about five other blokes who can do the same, to say nothing of the fact that unless he channels his inner Frank Tyson, England won’t be able to regain those Ashes.”
I think we’re a weird little country that can’t cope with being gifted a once-in-a-generation talent. Archer’s been an England player for 15 months. In that time he’s starred in a World Cup win, taken three Test five-fors, been involved in the most exhilarating head-to-head battle in an England match since Donald v Atherton, been involved in another with Matthew Wade, hooped the ball round corners like Sir Alec Bedser to skittle Australia, been overbowled and underbowled, been racially abused by people who will never know better and treated with a thundering lack of empathy by those who should. I’ve no idea how we got to this position, but it’s wearingly familiar and I’m pretty worried. If I was in charge I would send him off to the white-ball bubble; a fortnight or so with Eoin Morgan would do him the world of good.
Updated
“’noon, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “So where do you ‘stand’ on the MBM contributor style guide regarding to ‘double-quote’ or not? Be warned though, hombre: “Don’t push too far your dreams are china in your hand/Don’t wish too hard, because they may come true.”
Tim’s right. This is not infrequently the case, as he’s the finest editor I’ve ever met. In this case, we use double quotes for the email, so any quotes within that email should be single marks. Liveblogs are so frantic that consistent house style often takes a hit (diacritical marks, for eg), but it’s nice to do things properly when we can. There’s nothing worse than waking up at tree o’clock, in a cold sweat, and dashing upstairs to check whether you had the correct quotation marks on the latest Mac Millings XI.
“A large thunderstorm has also curtailed my planned lunchtime gardening activities here,” says Kim Thonger, “so I’ve wasted the early afternoon compiling teams for a potential Disney v Pixar Test Match. Surprising how many characters have names that sound splendid in a scorecard situation. For example: Abraham DeLacey c Peter ‘Claws’ Ward b Finn McMissile 83.
Disney XI
- Abraham DeLacey
- Giuseppe Casey
- Thomas O’Malley
- Scrooge McDuck (Wicketkeeper)
- James Hook (Captain)
- Prince Charming
- Jiminy Cricket
- John Smith
- Shere Khan
- Christopher Robin
- Horace Horsecollar
Pixar XI
- Auguste Gusteau
- Mike Wazowski
- Brent Mustangburger
- Bob Gunderson
- Buzz Lightyear
- Peter “Claws” Ward (Wicketkeeper)
- James P. Sullivan
- Finn McMissile
- Dash Parr
- Lord MacGuffin (Captain)
- Stinky Pete the Prospector
Umpires
Sheriff of Nottingham
Judge Claude Frollo
Sheriff Woody
The umpires are chatting to the groundstaff. There are two problems: a) a wet outfield and b) the innate futility of the human existence some malevolent clouds in the distance.
Updated
The barest of margins I must say thanks to the kind folk at Allen & Unwin who sent me a copy of Morgan’s Men by Nick Hoult and Steve James. Apparently England won the World Cup last year, which sounds like a great yarn, and this is the inside story of how it happened. I’m three chapters in and it’s terrific stuff.
Updated
“Hi Rob,” says Graham. “Firstly, a shout out to Krakow Cricket Club in Poland is always welcome. We’re still going strong although this year our only visitors came from the Warsaw Hussars (the only Polish only cricket team!). Secondly, elephant in the room for this Test is surely the weather forecast. Can we get a result in the 6-7 sessions of play we’re likely to manage in Southampton in the next four days?”
If we only get six or seven sessions it’ll be a draw. But the forecast I’m looking at isn’t that bad. (I’m not saying my forecast is better than your forecast, btw. Though it is from the Met Office, now you mention it.)
Updated
Thanks Tim, afternoon everyone. It’s stopped raining in Southampton and there will be an inspection at 3.15pm.
After my little plea about quote marks, Adrian Goldman responded by saying he would be “citing” me, complete with chevrons. “Now’s my chance,” he adds, gleefully. “Yes, someone: «In his last few Tests, he’s been thrifty, accurate but not penetrating, and after that bright start this performance seems to be heading the same way.»” As the players say, gotta hold my hand up.
And that’s it from me, with Rob Smyth all set to take over. Thanks for your thoughts on everything from selection to hair loss – see you tomorrow.
Updated
By the bucket load
The Hampshire groundstaff sprang into action, but even so Ian Ward on Sky reckons we’re in for a 45-minute delay, which is frustrating for fans of Jimmy Anderson, Babar Azam and good contests.
“Hair,” says a crisp subject line from Bob O’Hara. “Harkarn Sumal [31st over] forgot, or was not aware of, Doug Bollinger’s hair issues, which gained some brief notoriety a few years ago.” We just need that keeper.
Rain spoils fun, again
Mid-34th over: Pakistan 85-2 (Abid Ali 49, Babar Azam 7) Sam Curran comes back, bowls a few dots and then has to trot off, along with everyone else, as that lowering cloud empties itself. It’s now raining so hard that the screen has gone white.
“Without wishing to do down Jofra,” says Ian Batch, “it strikes me that the first thing England need to know is if he really wants to bowl fast in Test matches. Take a look at S Gabriel earlier this summer, still steaming in whilst every muscle in his body was rebelling. So far in a short and [mainly] successful Test stint, Jofra has been a ‘daisy’ – some days he does, some days he doesn’t bowl fast – not all of that can be down to rhythm and conditions. Maybe it’s unsurprising when you consider his meteoric rise through the short forms to the Test team. Once Jofra really commits himself to wanting to be an express pace bowler then England should support him fully, mentally, physically and tactically to try and ensure this once in a generation talent is not wasted, we’re not going to win in Australia without him!”
Updated
33rd over: Pakistan 85-2 (Abid Ali 49, Babar Azam 7) Another three to Babar as he clips Anderson gently through midwicket.
Updated
32nd over: Pakistan 82-2 (Abid Ali 49, Babar Azam 4) Babar isn’t going to hang around. He plays and misses at Broad, then repeats the stroke and picks up three to the cover fence, where Woakes pulls off a Mr Immaculate stop.
“Morning Timmers!” said Hamish Kuzminski, a while ago. “Segueing from the last Test’s OBO conversations about cricket in Germany, I thought I’d send you a link to our local team’s website here in Friedrichsdorf, just North of Frankfurt. Jolly competent they are. Good looking bunch as well. It’s only available in Germish, but I think readers will get the gist all the same.
“We had significant rain here overnight, the first proper precipitation in months, and given that the square this summer has been akin to distressed concrete, at the weekend I suspect the ball will be whizzing off the track like Barnes Wallis’s you-know-whats. No game today, only nets - so the likelihood of seeing some scary swinging is low. Auf wiedersehen, pal.”
Updated
31st over: Pakistan 79-2 (Abid Ali 49, Babar Azam 1) So that’s the end of a fine partnership of 72, a classic ship-steadier. Pakistan could so easily be five down here. Those grey skies are getting even darker, alas.
And here’s an urgent question from Harkarn Sumal. “How far are we from being able to put together a solid Advanced Hair Studios XI?” he wonders. “Over the years we’ve had openers Gooch and Vaughan, bowlers Gough and Warne, and ooh, wait, what’s this? [Scroll down, past Warne and Gough.] Gautam Gambhir, Martin Crowe (gawd rest his soul), Sourav Ganguly, Greg Matthews all available for selection. We’re up to a strong IX here, to contest the AHSes (ahem). And Ben Stokes has had a suspiciously lustrous rebound up top in the last year or two, so he could be on the fringes of selection too. We just need one more (ideally a wicketkeeper).”
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Wicket!! Azhar Ali c Burns b Anderson 20 (Pakistan 78-2)
At last! An England slipper holds on to a catch, low to his right, and Azhar’s vigil is over. The ball was nice and full and fatally tempting. Did some idiot just start writing Anderson off again?
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30th over: Pakistan 78-1 (Abid Ali 49, Azhar Ali 20) England still haven’t got a gully or a third man to mop up Abid’s guides and nicks, and he cashes in again with a stroke that is somewhere between the two. Then, for a change, he picks up two with a shovel off the hip.
29th over: Pakistan 72-1 (Abid Ali 42, Azhar Ali 20) Just a single to Azhar off Anderson, who now has figures of 10-3-20-1. In his last few Tests, he’s been thrifty, accurate but not penetrating, and after a bright start this performance seems to be heading the same way.
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28th over: Pakistan 71-1 (Abid Ali 42, Azhar Ali 19) Broad is on the spot, but Azhar knows exactly where his off bail is and pulls off an inch-perfect leave. The cameras find the next man in sitting on the Pakistan balcony: Babar Azam, who, if he gets going, will give England even more trouble than these two.
27th over: Pakistan 71-1 (Abid Ali 42, Azhar Ali 19) Another guide from Abid, off Anderson – more of a nick this time, but angled down, with soft hands, and the result is the same, four. Joe Root may be beginning to regret leaving out both his truly fast bowlers.
One or two readers were confused by the Bowtell list - sorry. I took him to mean that this was each bowler’s record in his first ten Tests.
26th over: Pakistan 67-1 (Abid Ali 38, Azhar Ali 19) Broad beats Abid with a lifter that held its line; Abid retorts with an unruffled guide for four. And Nasser Hussain establishes that that appeal from Root was backed up by a little wiggle on Ultra Edge. Should he have had the courage of his convictions?
25th over: Pakistan 62-1 (Abid Ali 33, Azhar Ali 19) Anderson beats Azhar’s outside edge and Root goes up, but it’s a lonely appeal and he doesn’t feel strongly enough to review.
Tom Booth has been looking at Tom Bowtell’s stats for novice bowlers (13:02). “Broad’s figures for his first couple of years were indeed fairly poor with the ball (albeit compensated by good work with the bat). This was partly because he was under team orders to act as an ‘enforcer’, bowling too fast and too short to retain proper control. Not long after taking over, Flower publicly rescinded this and instead returned Broad to the line-and-length bowler he was always meant to be, with excellent results.” Good point. And this is your periodic reminder that it’s a big help to us if you can use single quotes, as everything you say may be taken down in evidence and put in double quotes.
24th over: Pakistan 62-1 (Abid Ali 33, Azhar Ali 19) Broad finishes his over under thick grey cloud and bright white lights. Broad is very full outside off, Abid Ali is leaving well alone and Jos Buttler is just about coping with a late wobble as the last ball dies on him.
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Tom van der Gucht has been thinking about Steve Finn. “I’ve never fully fathomed what happened to him. Was it a lack of form and injury, or something psychological that has tragically left long-standing scars? In The Edge, he was very candid about a period when his mental health deteriorated which I assumed was during the Ashes tour when Giles described him as ‘unselectable’. At the time, I had taken that to mean he had issues with his action, but now wondered whether it was the latest ECB euphemism for mental health issues - such as Trescothick having a virus - which I suspect are used in order to protect the privacy of the players rather than out of fears of any stigma involved with the term. But, either way, it’s sad to see and I still regularly check the Middlesex scorecards in the hope that he’s playing and has taken a bucketload of wickets.”
Play stops rain
It looks as if they’re going to resume at 1.35.
“Hope you are melting nicely,” says Tom Bowtell. Ha. “With a low-level snarkiness/vague disappointment creeping in about Archer in certain quarters, I thought I’d check his stats against his peers and the most recent England quicks to get 100+ Test wickets. Turns out he’s doing pretty well. As Broad and Flintoff (66.42!) show, it takes time to nail fast bowling in Tests. It also makes me yearn for what might have been if Finn hadn’t got injured or messed around.”
Finn: 45 @ 25.24
Woakes: 34 @ 25.58
Gough: 43 @ 28.97
Archer: 38 @ 29.21
Hoggard: 41 @ 29.70
Anderson: 33 @ 31.51
Caddick: 35 @ 36.65
Harmison: 28 @ 36.78
Stokes: 28 @ 40.10
Wood: 26 @ 40.65
Broad: 26 @ 45.23
Flintoff: 7 @ 66.42
Very interesting. Was Broad really that bad?
Lunch: Pakistan 62-1
Yes, that is luncheon. And the morning belongs to Pakistan, who batted first and walked the walk by watching the swinging ball, riding their luck, and taking umpteen singles into the leg side as England bowled a touch too straight. Jimmy Anderson made his point by grabbing an early wicket, and the new old firm of Broad and Woakes would have had one each if the opening batsmen in the slips had done their job. For now, the Alis have it. See you shortly.
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Rain stops play
Mid-24th over: Pakistan 62-1 (Abid Ali 33, Azhar Ali 19) Broad is back to replace Woakes. He finds the edge of Abid Ali’s bat – with a nip-backer, oddly – but the ball drops short of slips. The nicks this morning have either gone very low or fairly high. And then the umps do wave the players off.
23rd over: Pakistan 62-1 (Abid Ali 33, Azhar Ali 19) Anderson puts the plug back in by returning to the eternal verities and aiming at Azhar’s off stump. When he goes wider, Azhar can’t find that cut again, hanging out a limp 45-degree bat that deserves to get a nick. Overall, though, he’s backed up his decision to bat with some sturdy defence. And he may get an early lunch as it’s now raining.
22nd over: Pakistan 62-1 (Abid Ali 33, Azhar Ali 19) Six off Woakes’s over as the batsmen continue to work the angles. By the time he gets to the sixth ball, Woakes is banging it in outside Abid’s off stump. He hasn’t been at his immaculate best, though that dropped catch would make anyone tear their Alice band out.
“Regarding Abid Ali’s recent problems,” says Pete Salmon, “it’s been a long time since I bought a cricket box, but a quick google seems to suggest that even the best are the same £3 plastic ones as 20 years ago. Given the advances in not only cricket technology but every single bit of technology in the world, this seems odd given what is at stake. Do test cricketers have some sort of wurtzite boron nitrade thingy down there, or is it all plastic at even the highest levels?” That is a great question. I’m hoping one of our readers is better placed than me to answer it.
21st over: Pakistan 56-1 (Abid Ali 30, Azhar Ali 17) Root sends for Jimmy Anderson, who ought to fancy this even more now that the lights are on. Rather uncharacteristically, he dishes up the first rank long hop of the morning. Azhar cuts it for four and that’s the fifty partnership off 110 balls. Well played those Alis: proper Test creekit.
20th over: Pakistan 52-1 (Abid Ali 30, Azhar Ali 13) Azhar brings up the fifty with yet another nudge to leg. Woakes has been a touch too straight, but he realises it and finishes the over by beating Azhar with a classic outswinger.
Dave Epsley is picking up the thread on hair replacement (7th over). “That Gough-Warne anti-slaphead advert is amazing,” he says. “Cheers me right up every time it comes on. As well as the wooden dialogue, it’s obvious (to me anyway) that they were filmed separately, perhaps even on opposite sides of the world. They’ve clearly been given a spot to look at for eyeline purposes, but it’s not *quite* right. Hilarious!”
19th over: Pakistan 49-1 (Abid Ali 28, Azhar Ali 12) Abid confirms his recovery with a crisp on-drive for three off Curran. Root reacts by shifting Dom Sibley out of the slips and sticking him at short midwicket, where he may be able to pull off another run-out. That direct hit at Old Trafford was the most stylish moment in his Test career. Not saying a great deal, but still, it was beautifully done.
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18th over: Pakistan 45-1 (Abid Ali 25, Azhar Ali 11) Woakes beats Abid’s inside edge and raps him on the box. Ouch. The poor guy is on his knees, then being attended to by the physio, but he rallies to resume his stout defence and there’s yet another single as England, not for the first time, stray onto leg stump.
Here’s Damian Burns, our man in St Helena. “Given your description of the humidity, could sweaty palms be to blame for the two early drops? Or is that giving England too much of an excuse…?” That could be it, but for international cricketers, sweaty palms surely shouldn’t come as a shock.
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17th over: Pakistan 44-1 (Abid Ali 24, Azhar Ali 11) Curran is probing away with his full length, but when he finds the edge of Azhar’s bat, it bounces before it reaches Joe Root – currently England’s only reliable slip catcher.
“With all that white sun block,” says Brian Withington, “Rory Burns looks like a bit of a Marcel Marceau tribute act. Catches like one, too. Looking forward to his man-in-a-strong-wind impersonation later.”
“The Guardian scoreboard,” notes Paul Akhurst, “shows Pakistan with four current batsmen. Is this a new innovation to counter the swinging ball?”
16th over: Pakistan 43-1 (Abid Ali 23, Azhar Ali 11) Woakes bowls a maiden, and suddenly all is right with the world.
15th over: Pakistan 43-1 (Abid Ali 23, Azhar Ali 11) Curran still fancies the yorker, but Azhar is alert to it and able to steal a single into the on side.
Tim Sanders has been studying Anderson. “Jimmy always used to seem so taken with the angle across the left-hander to the waiting slip cordon, that he never seemed to bother with getting them LBW with the inswinger. Whereas if you think of the mirror image, left-arm-over swing bowler to right-hander, LBW is the classic mode of dismissal. I think in the past couple of years, Jimmy has been more willing to home in on the stumps. Also, I’m treasuring the image of steam coming into his ears, thank you. You won’t see that on the telly.” Ha, thanks. The commentators do seem strangely resistant to quoting our quips.
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14th over: Pakistan 41-1 (Abid Ali 22, Azhar Ali 10) Abid had just played another glance for four, so Woakes’s figures are 2-0-12-0. You might assume that Mr Immaculate was having a mare, but then bowling figures don’t show dropped catches. And that’s drinks, with Pakistan probably the happier team. England have bowled well and fielded atrociously, while the two Alis have ridden their luck and been very purposeful.
Dropped! Abid, off Woakes, on 21
Another one bites the turf. This time it’s Burns at second slip. Like the one Sibley shelled, it’s shoulder-high and to his left. He seems to do everything right, but out it pops and Jos Buttler can’t quite snaffle the rebound.
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13th over: Pakistan 36-1 (Abid Ali 17, Azhar Ali 10) Curran drops a bit short, allowing Azhar to flick for two, then fires in a fine yorker which is like Wasim Akram in slow motion. As Curran is a gentle 80mph, Azhar jabs the bottom of the bat down in time.
12th over: Pakistan 34-1 (Abid Ali 17, Azhar Ali 8) It’s a double change as Root sends for Chris Woakes, the king of the chasers. Straightaway, his outswinger is curving like his Alice band, but there are runs to be had as Abid pushes into the covers for two and leg-glances for four.
11th over: Pakistan 27-1 (Abid Ali 11, Azhar Ali 7) And here is Curran, replacing Anderson: the king of the swingers giving way to the prince. He’s on the spot but again the batsmen are busy, nudging for a single apiece. Curran’s hair is so long at the front and short at the back that he may soon be asked for Brandon Williams’s autograph.
George the Cornish mason’s plea for the TMS link is kindly answered by Andrew Harrison. “Easy to find via BBC website,” he says, “impossible if you search YouTube.”
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10th over: Pakistan 25-1 (Abid Ali 10, Azhar Ali 6) Broad may not be feeling great but there’s no way he’s going to hand this glossy new ball to Woakes or Curran. He keeps on bending it past the outside edge, then brings one back in to rap Abid on the thigh pad. A single to each batsman, and Broad has 5-2-7-0 while Anderson has 5-1-10-1. Classic stuff.
9th over: Pakistan 23-1 (Abid Ali 9, Azhar Ali 5) A single to Azhar, getting wristy with his leg glance. Pakistan have done pretty well to lose only one wicket here. Broad seems to be signalling for an inhaler, but Mark Wood, unlucky to be 12th man again, trots out with three water bottles.
8th over: Pakistan 22-1 (Abid Ali 9, Azhar Ali 4) The air is so steamy that even Broad is now a swing bowler like his old mate. His inswinger eludes both Abid and Jos Buttler, who concedes four byes; there was a sound but it was bat on pad. Then the outswinger beats the outside edge.
7th over: Pakistan 18-1 (Abid Ali 9, Azhar Ali 4) Abid’s turn to push for two, off Anderson, before he squirts a single off an inside edge. Sky go straight from Shane Warne commentating to Shane Warne advertising hair replacement, joining Darren Gough in possibly the most wooden bit of dialogue ever written. This is so subversive, it’s superb.
Talking of commentary... “Yawn of a request,” says George Murphy. “Can you beg your OBOians for the overseas TMS link? Hard to fathom why but standard web searches never reveal its hiding place. Then again I am an undeniable fool of a techno-loser. Please excuse the tedious request but simultaneous reading and chiselling is a skill I have yet to master. From a Cornish mason in sunny Stavanger.” A lot to unpack there.
6th over: Pakistan 15-1 (Abid Ali 6, Azhar Ali 4) Broad beats Azhar with a leg-cutter, and with an outswinger, but when he brings one back, looking for that lbw, Azhar manages a tuck for two. And then a straight push for another two. If the Pakistanis’ techniques are struggling with the moving ball, their temperaments are in good order.
5th over: Pakistan 11-1 (Abid Ali 6, Azhar Ali 0) A boundary! Anderson keeps pitching it up, as you would, and Abid is calm enough to spot a half-volley and ease it through the covers.
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4th over: Pakistan 7-1 (Abid Ali 2, Azhar Ali 0) That dropped catch yielded a single, the only run Broad has conceded so far. He’s bowling every ball as if still making a point about his omission here last month.
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Dropped! Abid, off Broad, on 1
It’s all happening. Abid gets a chunky nick and Dom Sibley, at third slip, can only parry a shoulder-high chance as Rory Burns, at second, goes for it too. The commentators point out that Stokes would normally be at second, with Burns at third, but even Stokes has been dropping a few lately.
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3rd over: Pakistan 6-1 (Abid Ali 1, Azhar Ali 0) So Anderson strikes early and Masood follows his majestic 156 with scores of 0 and 1. And in comes Azhar, the captain, who is in no sort of form. Another lbw cannot be ruled out.
Wicket! Shan Masood lbw b Anderson 1 (Pakistan 6-1)
Oh Jimmy Jimmy! It’s full, it’s swinging back into the left-hander, it’s hitting middle and it’s not even worth a review. That is wicket no. 591 for England’s most prolific seamer. Who on earth said this man should be left out?
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2nd over: Pakistan 6-0 (Shan Masood 1, Abid Ali 1) You’ll never guess who’s sharing the new ball with Anderson. Yes, it’s Stuart Broad, who was infamously discarded for the last Test on this ground. He too beats Abid Ali, with bounce more than movement. Poor old Abid is making a strong bid for a role that now seems to be a staple of the English summer: the visiting opener who becomes a walking wicket.
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1st over: Pakistan 6-0 (Shan Masood 1, Abid Ali 1) Masood pushes the first ball for a single. Anderson immediately beats Abid Ali with a ball that goes like a leg-cutter. Abid picks up a single too, trying to leave one, and then there are four leg byes as Shan shapes to glance.
“So Fawad hasn’t played a Test since 2009,” says Peter Williams. “Does that mean his nickname should be Fast Fawad?”
Joe Root has so much faith in Jimmy Anderson, he’s even giving him the new ball. If Chris Woakes wasn’t so genial, he might be seething.
“Brave of Azhar,” says Felix Wood, “to win the toss given what has happened in the other four Tests this summer.” Good spot! Every loser wins. “Not sure about the Archer decision – it really does feel that Root hasn’t quite worked out how to best use him.” Very true. As my colleague Rob Smyth observed the other day, Jofra looks as if he could do with a dose of Eoin Morgan.
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“Fawad Alam plays his first Test for 11 years,” says Simon Wilde of The Sunday Times on Twitter. “He’s sat out the last 88 Tests, so should be fully rested.”
Teams: Fawad, Crawley and Curran come in
Sure enough, Shadab Khan gives way to Fawad Alam, as Azhar feels that one leggie will do, and Zak Crawley stands in for Ben Stokes. It’s Sam Curran rather than Mark Wood who replaces Jofra Archer, so England are willing to sacrifice velocity for better batting – though Curran does bring a touch of Stokes’s ability to make things happen. “Feels like it could swing,” says Joe Root. It may need to, given England’s lack of pace.
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Toss: Pakistan win and bat
Azhar Ali does a Stokes and decides to bat first, even though the pitch has some grass on it. He and Joe Root remember to bump elbows, a social ritual that always seems to make people smile.
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Preamble: it's all gone yellow
Morning everyone and welcome to the second Test. When Chris Woakes and Jos Buttler pulled off their thrilling heist on Saturday, they secured something that has become almost unheard-of for international cricketers: a Sunday off. Now England’s players and their Pakistani guests may be about to enjoy a few more breathers. In the Met Office forecast for this match at Southampton, every one of the five days carries a yellow warning. The South of England is so humid that we may see the first recorded case of steam going into Jimmy Anderson’s ears.
There will be rain, and it looks like being torrential. But there should be sunny spells too. It feels like a day for bowling at the ground where Ben Stokes fluffed his lines by opting to bat in the first Test of the summer. England’s Test team, who have a 100-per-cent record at Old Trafford this year, have a 0-per-cent record at the Ageas Bowl. It would be good for the game if they could maintain that. Wherever your allegiance lies, 1-1 with one to play is a lot more fun than 2-0. This Pakistan side, with their spirit and spark, hardly deserved to leave Manchester empty-handed.
As his father is unwell, England will have to do without Stokes for the first time since the Lord’s Test against India in 2018, when Chris Woakes borrowed his cape and belted a hundred. Stokes’s place almost certainly goes to Zak Crawley, who was the fall guy for the last two Tests when Superman was ruled unfit to bowl. The consolation for Crawley is that he will be returning to the scene of his most commanding performance for England, 76 against West Indies a month ago. If England are still rotating, Mark Wood or Sam Curran – or even the highly promising Ollie Robinson – should come in for Jofra Archer. But then if they really believed in rotation, they would have brought Jack Leach in for Dom Bess, and given Anderson a game off.
Pakistan are expected to stick with ten of the XI who made the running at Old Trafford. Shadab Khan, whose counter-punching 45 played a big part in that, may have to make way for Fawad Alam, who’s a rare bird in Pakistan cricket having reached the age of 34 with only three Test caps. He would stiffen the batting and be a second left-hander to go with Shan Masood, the man whose 156 dwarfed all the other scores on the doors. Play starts at 11am, all being well, with the toss at 10.30.
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