Right, that’s all from here for now. The third Test at Edgbaston begins on August 3rd. Join us then for more England v Pakistan. Bye!
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“The guys were disappointed with how they played at Lord’s and they were keen to make up for it here,” says head coach Trevor Bayliss.
“Joe Root spent the last few days before this Test match in the nets and doing a lot of soul-searching. He’s certainly shown the less experienced players in the team how to go about it.”
“The rest of the batting line-up are trying to find their way in international cricket. Some of those guys have had very good performances here and there. What we’re looking for is more consistency.”
Joe Root, man of the match: “It was about little changes,” he says, typically understated about how we went from Lord’s to here and hit 254 in the first innings. The elimination, a simple change, he admits. “I think I can get better.” Jeepers.
Broad >>>>>>>>
Glad I brought that umbrella to the ground..... Got sunburnt! 😳☂ https://t.co/wDOK00XnRf
— Stuart Broad (@StuartBroad8) July 25, 2016
“It seemed to be the logical step, in our eyes,” says Alastair Cook, who convinced Joe Root to bat at number three. “It makes sense to have your best batsman at number three. And he spoke about going big, so to get 254 was pretty special.”
On not enforcing the follow-on: “I just thought a bit of time off for the bowlers: 60-odd overs, I know it’s not a huge workload, but it’s enough. On that wicket, it wasn’t a minefield so I wanted them to rest-up and come in hard today. A couple of guys had come back from a lay-off.”
“I didn’t quite realise it would cause the amount of stir as it did in the last 12 hours, but we’ve got the result and it’s a brilliant win for the lads.”
On the bowlers: “Jimmy’s fine and Stokes looked in a bit of trouble. He’s going to have a scan tomorrow.”
“We were nowhere near... well below average. We have so much to improve on.” Misbah isn’t pulling any punches. “I think the way we batted in the first innings, we could have scored more than 350 or 400, which would have done. We were just thrown out of the game early.”
“That’s the bad thing about our team. We can underperform having player as well as we did in the first match. The good thing about our team is that we can change quickly and are capable of coming back.”
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Presentations coming up. It’s hard not to look past Joe Root for man of the match: he scored 325 runs, took four catches and even nabbed himself a wicket. He’s now the 11th cricketer to score 250-plus and take a wicket in the same Test. The last player to do that was Ben Stokes in South Africa...
“Not only have the batsmen been thoroughly demoralised today, the bowlers have been too. That wouldn’t have happened if Cook had enforced the follow-on. Good decision.” See, Huw Sowerby gets it. DOUBLE DEMORALISING
Adam Roberts emails in: “Whatever else the rights and wrongs of yesterday, how on earth does winning by 330 runs vindicate Alastair Cook? He and Root put on 173.” And a demoralised Pakistan side crumpled in a heap inside 71 overs, with England a bowler down.
“England win by a Joe Root and 5 runs.” Well put, Nicky Scott.
Remember all that nonsense about the follow on?
One of the darkest days in England's history as they beat a very good side by 330 runs in an incorrect way.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 25, 2016
WICKET! Amir c Broad b Woakes 29 (Pakistan 234 all out) - ENGLAND WIN BY 330 RUNS
Amir, confident, drives Woakes on the up to mid off where Broad reacts late but still manages to hang on to the ball as he stumbles over himself. That’s the game and England have levelled the series!
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70th over: Pakistan 233-9 (Amir 29, Ali 7) Better from Broad as he strangles Amir of any width, but a full ball, just outside off stump, is inside-edge just past the stumps for four. Ben Stokes on the balcony puts his hands to his head and clenches his teeth in agony. Chris Woakes warming up...
69th over: Pakistan 227-9 (Amir 23, Ali 7) Starting to think that Amir is “shielding” Rahat from Moeen in the way that I might “shield” my girlfriend from the last bit of calamari. Clobbers a four through cover and then does the same to the final ball of the over, for three.
68th over: Pakistan 220-9 (Amir 16, Ali 7) Somehow, Rahat Ali survives that over having closed his eyes on about four of them. Even gets two for his troubles, too.
67th over: Pakistan 218-9 (Amir 16, Ali 5) Amir takes most of the Ali over and tries to go over the top, only for the ball to plug and bring him one. And then Rahat squires Moeen behind square on the leg side and takes back the strike. He wants a piece of Broad. Or can’t count to six.
66th over: Pakistan 216-9 (Amir 15, Ali 4) Oh snap! Rahat Ali - rock star locks, resident bunny, has just rocked onto the back foot and clobbered Broad i front of point for four!
Be good banter for Rahat Ali to come out now and finally manage to bat through to stumps.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 25, 2016
65th over: Pakistan 212-9 (Amir 15, Ali 0) Amir shields Rahat Ali before going for some personal glory with a four through cover point off the penultimate ball of the over. Doesn’t bother with the single next. Rahat Ali on strike to Stuart Broad...
64th over: Pakistan 208-9 (Amir 11, Ali 0) Golden arm Root does the bizznass, as this Romantic novel japery bursts at the seams. Something just sent me an email which simply said, “Mr Tickle”.
WICKET! Riaz c Cook b Root 19 (Pakistan 208-9)
A hack high and not very far lands safely into the hands of Alastair Cook on the 45. What a game Root is having...
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63rd over: Pakistan 208-8 (Riaz 19, Amir 11) Hmmm the light isn’t looking too great at the moment. Of course, Ali is still allowed to have a bowl and Riaz is glad for it, smearing him through cover for four. Joe Root to bowl the next over.
62nd over: Pakistan 203-8 (Riaz 14, Amir 11) A brace of Lara-esque cut shots thunder into the advertising hoardings at point. as Amir finds his bearings
Orwell's 198-4 beaten by 9 wickets by Clarke's 200-1 A Space Odyssey.@Vitu_E
— James Brough (@thasceles) July 25, 2016
61st over: Pakistan 193-8 (Riaz 14, Amir 0) The leg side reinforced, Ali tosses a few up as Riaz takes the single and Amir keeps his head down before finally get off the strike - eighth ball - with a really nice drive to the right of mid off. And yes Oliver Skett - about 30 people have emailed in “We need to talk about Kevin”.
60th over: Pakistan 191-8 (Riaz 13, Amir 0) Riaz looking to play a bit sensibly here, which seems a bit odd considering he was swinging for the fences when Shah, a superior batsman was at the other end. Takes a single to midwicket to keep the strike as Amir keeps out the final ball from Woakes. PJV Elliott goes full Orwell: “The Road to Wicket Pier, and Homage to get a run here. Then there’s About a Boycott...”
59th over: Pakistan 190-8 (Riaz 12, Amir 0) Good stuff from Ali - giving the ball decent amounts of air and then pulling his length back to do Shah on the back foot. The sheer volume of your book emails and tweets are quite overwhelming so will do my best to chuck a few outs in the next few overs. It’s all happening.
WICKET! Shah LBW Ali 10 (Pakistan 190-8)
That’s it for Shah, who goes in quite comical fashion. He moves onto the back foot, tries to swipe across the line, but the ball slows up and keeps a touch low to hit him just below the knee role. Ali has this third of the innings...
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58th over: Pakistan 190-7 (Shah 10, Riaz 12) Have to say, Yasir Shah is excellent off his legs. A low full toss from Woakes, which moves in later, is hit through wide mid on for two. A break from our scheduled programming as David Keech emails in on Stokes
“If, as quite honestly seems very likely, Stokes is out for the rest of the series the biggest casualty is likely to be Rashid, who I really thought they should have experimented with this game. I really like the strength in depth that two pretty genuine all rounders in Stokes and Woakes offers. This means that England have the luxury of picking their best spinner rather than relying on Ali’s runs. That might have paved the way for Rashid. With Stokes gone, England selectors’ innate caution will mean they will keep Ali and choose between Ball and Finn, probably Finn.”
@Vitu_E Love in the time of Chlollingwood
— Kieran Walsh (@kajwalsh) July 25, 2016
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57th over: Pakistan 187-7 (Shah 7, Riaz 12) Another near run out as Riaz tips and goes into the off side. Or at least feigns to. A more comfortable one comes off the next ball. Riaz v Anderson is bubbling nicely... George Eliot’s Silly-mid-on-lemarch or Graham Greene’s The Gower and the Glory comes Alastiar Horne.
56th over: Pakistan 185-7 (Shah 6, Riaz 11) “It seems that the great hit short novel Three Frenzied Romantic Days In Manchester is being re-written as a drawn out hard cover saga of Five Long Days in Grey Manchester,” suggests Raymond Reardon on email. Looked like it might be four as Riaz takes on Broad’s fielding, who does well to stoop to pick up the ball and underarm to the nonstriker’s stumps in one motion. Riaz was nowhere to be seen. “The Tiger Pituadi who came to tea”. Take a bow, Harry Axon.
55th over: Pakistan 184-7 (Shah 6, Riaz 10) Colin Howard has cheated here with a movie title - “Cat on a hot Tin Root” - but we’ll allow it. David Smith is on a Hemingway theme: To Have and Have Knott and For Whom the Bell Tolls. Shah is at ease with Anderson. Two from the over.
@Vitu_E Four For The Maddy Crowd......as they say at Edgbaston
— Rob Jacques (@KnutCrosswords) July 25, 2016
54th over: Pakistan 182-7 (Shah 4, Riaz 10) Chris Woakes to continue, firing in a few bumpers and then finding the edge of Shah’s bat. Too thick though, beyond the slips it goes, as a single is taken. “Orwell was a cricket lover, too,” writes Ali Robertson on email. “198-4”. Well played, sir.
53rd over: Pakistan 181-7 (Shah 3, Riaz 10) The Riaz decides that he’s not leaving anything to chance. Actually, he’s leaving everything to chance: an over full of heaves bookends an over of mistimed swipes with four to fine leg and the second high and over the slips. Jimmy’s not happy and has a few words. Yes, really.
@Vitu_E Setting free the Bairs(tow)?
— Gareth Wilson (@garethclwilson) July 25, 2016
52nd over: Pakistan 171-7 (Shah 2, Riaz 1) Shah pinches two into cover point, setting off like a man with a bag full of swag. The Far Pavilions (M M Kaye) and The Fault in Our Stance John Green(wicket) are offered up by David Welton.
51st over: Pakistan 168-7 (Wahab 1, Shah 0) Shafiq starts the over with an imperious four off the back foot through extra cover. He doesn’t end it, though, walking off having been struck on the pad in front of middle and leg. Ooooo I tell you what, we could have had a run out at the end of that over: Riaz calling Shah through for a single the leggie thought was much more comfortable than it was. A direct hit and he was gone by a few yards. Your books are FLYING in. Let’s hope Pakistan can hold on long enough for you to get them all in:
Tender is the Nightwatchman - Lachlan McKinnon
A Room with a View (of the Crane) - Tim Quinn
Murali We Role Along - Jonathan Coote
Nick Knight in Shining Armour and The Devil Wears Pradeep (both from Twitter)
Alastair Cook's ridiculously premature declaration being exposed here.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 25, 2016
WICKET! Shafiq LBW Anderson 39 (Pakistan 167-7)
From not out to out via a review, no bat and the computerised clattering of leg stump, flush. Both pads struck, which gave umpire Rod Tucker the impression that there was bat involved. Anderson, three for 26 with three to get, is on for his first five-wicket haul at Old Trafford...
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50th over: Pakistan 163-6 (Shafiq 35, Shah 0) Adam Roberts suggests Tendulkar is the Night, just as Woakes gets one to lift at the ribs of Sarfraz. The ball was reversing before tea and there might have been a bit of it, there, as a glove is taken down the leg side. Yasir Shah, my rock, comes out to hold me true.
WICKET! Ahmed c Bairstow b Woakes 7 (Pakistan 163-6)
Even Sarfraz knew it was out but, hey, as the last recognised batsman, why not chance your arm to see if Woakes overstepped, Hot Spot was on the fritz or Joel Wilson cocked up. All three fine, as it happens. Goneski.
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REVIEW
In the first over after tea, it looks like Sarfraz Ahmed has been caught behind, down the legside off the glove. It’s out on the field - Kumar Dharmasena wasted no time - but Sarfraz has sent it upstairs...
Evening romantics. The Scorebook -that’s one from me to continue Adam’s good work. England have a minimum of 38 overs to take five more wickets to give us a four day Test. Cards on they table, I reckon we’ll be back tomorrow thanks to some bloody-minded defence from Yasir Shah.
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Tea - Pakistan 161-5
It’s hard to explain away the dismissal of Younus Khan. Just when he and Misbah looked vaguely set, he was badly exposed when trying to slog Moeen. It was the defining moment of the session. Misbah’s chop on hour later only reinforced that this should be done in the extended evening session, especially if England’s seamers continue to bowl as they have in Manchester. Even without Ben Stokes, who went down with a calf injury between lunch and tea as well. How serious that is we will learn tomorrow.
Best hand the keys to Vish for the final session. In the meantime, I will compile your best (and they are superb) cricket/love novels and have him post. Thanks for playing along. From deep in my romantic heart. Till next time.
49th over: Pakistan 161-5 (Shafiq 35, Sarfraz 5) An Sarfraz inside edge could on another day brought his demise. Helpfully, with the way Anderson is bowling, he got off strike for it. Shafiq is back into his favoured point region off the back foot for a couple. He’s started well. But more importantly, they have both survived. Belatedly, the tea break is here.
48th over: Pakistan 158-5 (Shafiq 33, Sarfraz 4) These two need absolutely no encouragement. Indeed, they are positively incorrigible. Two boundaries added by Shafiq to start the new Woakes over, completely ignoring the state of the game/session. In fairness, neither are high in risk, a cover drive when the bowler was too full, the next nursed to third man with soft hands. Good looking. One to go for tea.
WATCH: @chriswoakes bowls Misbah for 35 via an inside edge. PAK 150-5: https://t.co/XbFzNuRrnw #ENGvPAK
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 25, 2016
https://t.co/508ijnwKsT
47th over: Pakistan 150-5 (Shafiq 25, Sarfraz 4) A very rare half volley from Anderson allows Sarfraz to get underway with a cover driven boundary. Pakistan’s 150 is up, for what little that is worth. 41 overs left today, and another half hour available if a result is possible. Anderson is right back on the mark later in the over, a pair of superb away duckers to the new man, beating him on both occasions. You easily imagine Anderson filling his boots through the back half of the Pakistan innings here.
I am not ignoring your magnificent cricket/romance novel titles by the way. Not letting this go. The tea break will be their time to shine.
46th over: Pakistan 146-5 (Shafiq 25, Sarfraz 0) I missed a trick somewhere along the line: the session has been extended to 3:55pm, spreading the additional eight overs across two sessions. Woakes first ball to Sarfraz prompted a shout for lbw as well, but looking to be going down legside. So it’s worked yet again: Woakes back into the attack, a wicket immediately. 16 wickets in two Tests. Potent.
Anyone starting the tally of Woakes' first-over wickets? #ENGvPAK
— Andrew McGlashan (@andymcg_cricket) July 25, 2016
WICKET! Misbah b Woakes 35
Did not see that coming! Chops on to a full ball. Not a pretty way for it to end for the captain. Are we heading for a four day finish now?
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45th over: Pakistan 141-4 (Misbah 31, Shafiq 25) Shafiq makes good contact to a cover drive, but Anderson has a man in there. Misbah popped him on strike via a single into the onside. No other chances to score. Not should there be, given we’re nearing tea. More more over.
How’s Jimmy’s tekkers here...
Skills @jimmy9 ⚽⚽ https://t.co/E5FkUiXGjv
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 25, 2016
44th over: Pakistan 140-4 (Misbah 30, Shafiq 25) Much better from Moeen. His issue is letting batsmen off the hook once or more an over. You can’t get away with that as a finger spinner with limited tricks. Gazza Ballance cops one at short leg when Misbah sweeps, which constituted the most interesting moment of the over. Moeen needs more of those.
Joe Root is warming up. Bless.
43rd over: Pakistan 139-4 (Misbah 29, Shafiq 25) Misbah takes a single to fine leg. But nothing else on offer. This is Jimmy, after all. I’ve created a monster. Going to watch some cricket for a sec. But every entry will get a go at the tea break.
42nd over: Pakistan 138-4 (Misbah 28, Shafiq 25) A single each off Moeen early on. Then Shafiq says enough of this. Dance, clip, four. Gorgeous. Then to end the over: a slog that’s not a tenth as good to watch but just as effective.
I’ll keep going if you do...
Steve Parker: Pride and Prejudged Slogs. Geraint Jones’ Diary (genuinely laughed out loud at this).
Matthew Atkinson: Wuthering Flights
David Moore: I’m dreaming of a White Titmus
Harry McNeil Adams: Me before Younis Khan
Simon Thomas: Grand Central Station I Sat Down and S(wept) Him For 4 past short fine leg by Elizabeth Smart
41st over: Pakistan 128-4 (Misbah 27, Shafiq 16) Maiden from Anderson, back from the Pavilion End, to Misbah. Leaving initially, then in forward defence. No freebies when the openers are operating.
More... Adam Levine: “There’s already a whole series of them: Mills and (David) Boon. My favorite is the one where the protagonist drinks 52 cans of VB on a plane from Australia to England and then gets brewer’s droop.” Superb.
Tom Wherry: Love in the Time of Follow-on. Captain Cook’s Mandolin.
Steve Smith (pretty sure not him... but if so, g’day Steve and good luck tomorrow): Lady Chatterley’s Over
Thomas Hall: Eat, Pray, Leave. Wide and Predjudice(d umpiring).
You lot. You’re beautiful. There are many more. Keep going.
40th over: Pakistan 128-4 (Misbah 27, Shafiq 16) Singles where they choose; three of them through the onside, a couple picked up by the captain. I get why he is on - he has to be on - but I don’t think it’ll be long before Woakes gets another chance to tuck in.
Helluva response. Let me do my best here...
Dave Mitchell: Gone With the Wisden.
Gary Naylor: Gone with the Matt Windows. Madame Tavare. Martin Love in a Cold Climate (YES). Bruce French Lieutenant’s Woman.
Elliot_CB: All Quite on the Wisden Front.
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39th over: Pakistan 125-4 (Misbah 25, Shafiq 10) Three from Misbah when he smacks a half volley out to cover. Doesn’t get all of it. Graceful pose down on the back knee as if he is preparing to propose himself. See what I did there? That’s our theme!
On that: Josh Robinson has seen a chance to score and hasn’t missed out. “I can think of any number of possibilities involving Tymal Mills and David Boon.” Elegant.
We have 25 minutes till tea. Inundate me. I know you have these skills.
38th over: Pakistan 122-4 (Misbah 22, Shafiq 15) The strategy is clear: keep Broad out, let the pressure off from Moeen’s end. A single each through the on side to begin, before Shafiq leaps onto a long hop, thrashing through midwicket. I fancy his quick feet.
Shafiq has scored 9 runs from five shots off the back foot in this inning. #EngvPak
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) July 25, 2016
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37th over: Pakistan 116-4 (Misbah 21, Shafiq 10) Broad’s close to the stumps them wide of the crease, but full each time. A maiden to Misbah. You know how batsmen get off the hook for nonsense shots on the basis that they are “playing their natural game”? This bloke has a 56 ball Test ton. That’s his natural game. Yet he digs in.
By the way, we have ourselves a topic: cricket/romance novels. Give me everything you’ve got.
Tom Morgan is quick out of the blocks: “50 shades of Gray Nicholls?”
Areas, Tom. Fantastic areas.
36th over: Pakistan 116-4 (Misbah 21, Shafiq 10) Misbah’s sweeping Moeen. Get ready to hear that a few times today. Just for one. He does it again later in the over, as to reinforce my previous sentence. It’s split up by a single into the covers by Shafiq.
An MRI scan for Ben Stokes tomorrow after his calf concern earlier, we’re told on the commentary. A chap called Rob Jones is the substitute fielder. Always good to know their names for when they invariably make a howling error.
35th over: Pakistan 113-4 (Misbah 19, Shafiq 9) Good hands from Misbah, a single behind point. Shafiq comfortably defending Broad. He’s keeping it well up, giving it a chance to reverse a bit. Good cricket from all involved.
Vaughan says on TMS that Younus’ dismissal would be in his worst five in Test cricket. Given he’s been playing since - oh I dunno, before Y2K was a thing? - that’s quite an effort.
34th over: Pakistan 112-4 (Misbah 18, Shafiq 9) Moeen rolls a few down there. A single to each of the incumbents through the onside. No major issues.
Raymond Reardon... you prince:
“Hi Adam, combining your cricket passion and your upcoming piece on on summer romance in Paris may I suggest that you are likely to be hit for six if you firstly read ‘One Paris Summer’ by Denise Swank and secondly, if you stay away from the red ball district of Pigalle in Paris where you are likely to be hit for a hundred.”
My first cricket/romance novel is going to be Midnight in Joel Paris.
33rd over: Pakistan 110-4 (Misbah 17, Shafiq 8) Back to sensible programming with Misbah, a conservative over of leaves and forward defence. A maiden. I have more to say about Misbah’s patience. Next over, maybe.
For now, Edmund King knitting together today’s earlier debate quite beautifully:
“Back in 2012, alt-rock enfant terrible Bradford Cox responded to a heckler’s request for “My Sharona” by obligingly playing the song. For over an hour on an endless loop. Until people became deeply uncomfortable and left the venue. It was the spirit of rock and roll.
“I think Cook should have responded to those who criticised his refusal to enforce the follow on yesterday similarly. He should have batted on, well into day 5 and beyond. He should have refused to leave the pitch for rain breaks, for tea, for the close of play. Then, at midnight tomorrow, he should have given a defiant press conference, still at the crease, responding to each question with a silent, menacing forward defensive or leave outside the off stump. No one would question his authority ever again.”
I want your brain.
32nd over: Pakistan 110-4 (Misbah 17, Shafiq 8) Well, Moeen has two within 19 balls. That’s what it’ll say in the book. That’s all I’ll say. The new man Shafiq - so culpable in the first dig - is off the mark right away, off the edge but safe, and races away. A much better shot gets him a second boundary to end the over, using the depth of the crease to make enough time to give it a full-blooded swing. He’s good through there.
Only 12 players with more wickets for England in Tests since Jan 2000 than Moeen Ali
— Peter Miller (@TheCricketGeek) July 25, 2016
WICKET! c Hales b Moeen 28. Pakistan 102-4
What’s he doing? Why? Younus Khan, that’s just ridiculous. A ball pitching comfortably outside off stump, down in the slog sweep over cow with about a million overs to bat to save the game. Sure enough: straight down the throat of long on. Nonsense.
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31st over: Pakistan 101-3 (Younus 28, Misbah 16) Leaving, watching Younus. Not rubbish, dancing Younus from before lunch. He’s kind of played himself in. Oh, Adam here by the way. Thanks, Vish. One earlier in the over from Misbah from the inside edge, but that’s it.
Hang with me till tea: Adam.Collins.Freelance@theguardian.com or @collinsadam.
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30th over: Pakistan 100-3 (Younus 28, Misbah 15) Singles on offer to both these fine players of spin. That’s the 100 up, too, as Misbah gets low to sweep the final delivery. That’s it from me, Adam Collins is coming in to take you through till tea time.
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29th over: Pakistan 97-3 (Younus 27, Misbah 13) Stuart Broad replaces Woakes and a fuller length is timed nicely through the covers: first for a four, then for a single to pinch the strike for the next over.
28th over: Pakistan 92-3 (Younus 27, Misbah 8) Misbah-ul-Thwack! Ali gives the ball some air and Misbah skips to the pitch and sends him into the stands at midwicket. That’s him off the mark, by the way...
@Vitu_E I'm going to predict an England victory in this Test. Anybody else brave enough to stick their neck on the line?
— J J (@Adogcalledshep) July 25, 2016
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NEWS: Stokes will play no further part in this match
27th over: Pakistan 84-3 (Younus 26, Misbah 0) A maiden for Woakes as news comes through that Ben Stokes won’t be used for the rest of the Test. Makes sense given the state of the game. Hopefully, with a week off between this and the third Test (Edgbaston), he’ll be reet
Back to the Lions, they have finished on 425-1 from their 50 overs: Ben Duckett 220 and Daniel Bell-Drummond 171. Thisara Perera, Sri Lanka’s hot and cold allrounder, went 0-101 in his 10 overs...
Duckett's 220* the 8th highest List A innings; 21st List A double-ton; 2nd highest in England, behind Ali Brown's 268 in 2002.
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) July 25, 2016
26th over: Pakistan 83-3 (Younus 26, Misbah 0) So ends what was starting to be a frustrating partnership (58 runs from 15 overs before the dismissal). The previous delivery before his demise, Hafeez had guided Moeen through third man for four.
WATCH: @moeenali removes Hafeez for 42, caught Ballance at short leg. PAK 83-3: https://t.co/XbFzNuRrnw #ENGvPAK https://t.co/dDY3AX2OQX
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 25, 2016
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WICKET! Hafeez c Ballance b Ali 38 (Pakistan 83-3)
Revs, turn, grip, snick, pad, pouched. A lovely bit of bowling from Moeen and a simple catch for Gaz Ballance at short leg
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25th over: Pakistan 79-2 (Hafeez 38, Khan 26). On Kabbadi – does it have any relation to the English school yard favourite, British Bulldog? Maiden from Woakes, as Khan hot-steps a few leaves.
24th over: Pakistan 79-2 (Hafeez 38, Younus 26) Moeen to continue, two from the over, both batsmen settling for a single apiece. A good afternoon to John DavisL “I would be watching the cricket on TV, but the staff in our local café in small-town Nepal want to watch... yes, Pro Kabbadi.”
23rd over: Pakistan 77-2 (Hafeez 37, Younus 25) Dave from Manchester joins us from the Spanish Pyrenees, on his way to the pool. No running, Dave. Tidy flick from Khan through square leg. Whatever this new jumpy peccadillo of is, he’s starting to make it work for him.
@Vitu_E Stokes injury proves Cook should have batted through for the draw
— Cliff Fourie (@fourcliff) July 25, 2016
22nd over: Pakistan 75-2 (Hafeez 37, Younus 23) Where to begin... well Stokes’ calf for starters. Having bent down to field off his own bowling, he grabbed his half and had to be helped off the field. Moeen Ali was borught on to complete the over and managed to bowl a beamer.
Cometh the hour, cometh Gary Ballance's legspin.
— Dave Tickner (@tickerscricket) July 25, 2016
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Two balls into the 22nd over, this has happened...
Stokes reaching for his right calf. Looks bad, really limping. Has taken his hat, won't finish the over. Bloody hell. #ENGvPAK
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) July 25, 2016
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21st over: Pakistan 66-2 (Hafeez 30, Younis 22) “I’d say we’d get a lot of mileage out of players rhyming more with ‘Hoot’ than ‘Airflow’,” suggests Richard Noble. And it is Airflow who does well to get a palm on a ball from Folks, that moves substantially as it passes the batsman, to in front of second slip. “The jury is of course out on ‘Wince’ and ‘Fails’.” Especially with Cuttler and Northwick waiting in the wings.
20th over: Pakistan 63-2 (Hafeez 29, Khan 22) Hmmmm... that looked, well, competent from Khan. Stokes tries to get one to move late and into the right hander – under his airborne toes – but Khan stays (relatively) still and punches down the ground for four. Meanwhile, over at Canterbury, the England Lions are 383-1 after 47 overs. Ben Duckett is closing in on 200..
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19th over: Pakistan 57-2 (Hafeez 29, Younus 16) Two from the over, which sees Angus King throw this at me: “Clearly, from now on the England selectors should only pick players whose names:
1. Are single syllable nouns;
2. Rhyme with “blokes” or “Galley”
3. Half Rhyme with “airflow”
With the occasional allowance for verbs in the third person present simple (Stokes gets in both ways). On yer bike, Toby Roland Jones. And James Anderson.
18th over: Pakistan 55-2 (Hafeez 28, Younus 16) Woakes and Stokes it is, as the Geordie boy looks to take the skip out of Younus’, well, skip. A short ball is jauntily flicked over gully for the most unconvincing four since Anglo-Norwegian pop sensation A1.
17th over: Pakistan 51-2 (Hafeez 28, Younus 12) Given Manchester’s susceptibility to rain, Nicholas Finney is wondering if Pakistan could hold on for the draw. I was going to say yes – with some ice cold reasons – until Chris Woakes’s first delivery moved in and kept low, scuttling between Mohammad Hafeez’s bat and pad. Fine tickle gets Hafeez four inside fine leg.
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As Paul Ward emails in to say, only right to blame the company that continues to give G4S work rather than those working for sod all pay with limited training.
Moving on, here’s that Wasim masterclass, complete with Atherton and Nasser donning the boards and some seeeerious pronounced hoop...
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Afternoon all and thank you Adam. Just a bit of housekeeping before I get going, not least because I’ve experienced similar issues at Old Trafford that Dave Evans has during this Test.
“While queuing up for the first morning, my friends and I spotted that the queue had been forced to organise itself in order to avoid absolute chaos because the G4S approach was to forget that people might wish to turn up to an event for which tickets had been purchased. While waiting we made some predictions.
“One was that by Day four the crowd would be so sparse as to allow G4S and LCCC to claim that their strategy of leaving the queue to its own devices was a massive success because, look, there are no queues this morning. Turns out we underestimated their ability to make a mess of it. People queuing for an hour when the fact that the game would be still ongoing and interesting by today (if not exactly ‘live’ as a contest) has been clear for ages.”
The last time I was at an Old Trafford Test, the lads at G4S seemed to take great relish in taking a couple of cans of bitter from a bloke in his seventies and completely ignore the ridiculous queues they had concocted through their own ignorance. Ah well, sunny day, cricket, Wasim Akram shuffling through his trick deck on Sky. Life is good.
Lunch - Pakistan 47-2 (chasing 565)
Pakistan limp to the break in awful shape, having lost two wickets in the 70 minutes England had at them. Anderson’s spell was outstanding, claiming Masood with a perfect little away-dipper and Azhar with a canny off-cutter.
It should be three, Cook putting down Younis just before lunch off Stokes. A bad miss, but given the way the Pakistan no. 4 looks at the moment, it should’t be long before he gives them another opportunity.
Thanks for the company over the last couple hours. Especially for the informative session on Kabaddi. That was great. And the tips for Paris. My girlfriend will dig that. For now, I’m going to grab a bite to eat and a cup of tea and. It’s Vish with you for the middle session and I’ll be back later. Provided there is a... later.
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16th over: Pakistan 47-2 (Hafeez 24, Younis 12) Wonderful from Stokes to start the final over before lunch, too good for Younis with one that seriously moves. He nearly floors the same batsmen with his next ball, highlighting how uncomfortable he looks out there, even after the dropped chance the previous over. He picks up a couple with an unconvincing leg glance to end the session. That’s lunch.
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15th over: Pakistan 45-2 (Hafeez 24, Younis 10) Not a great start from Moeen, was it? A couple of balls that turned and landed, but full tosses as well - the final ball of the over smashed away by Hafeez. Earlier in the over Younis got one away as well, using his feet to another one Moeen overpitched.
Warne on TV saying it is important that they keep him in the attack after lunch so his confidence doesn’t drop. It’s a fair point. The perfect day to give him a proper bowl.
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14th over: Pakistan 36-2 (Hafeez 20, Younis 5) Oh that’s a bad dropped catch from the skipper. Stokes really let down there by Cook at first slip, beating Younis with the first ball of his new over, tailing away delightfully. Not pretty. He’ll be gutted with that. Stokes loses his a way a bit thereafter, symbolised by the fact that his bouncer lobbed so high that it was called for a wide. Oh well. Get on with it.
Anderson’s spell is over with Moeen getting a trundle before the break. It was a good’un, both wickets so far his. In reflecting on the shift, David Jarman is getting way out there for a Monday morning:
“Just take a look at those Anderson to Masood details in the 6th over. How glorious this game of ours, that statistics are presented to decimal places using both metric and imperial measurements. Bats and balls are weighted in imperial, yet we celebrate the metric reassurance of centuries, Michelles and ten wicket hauls. What say we introduce five ball overs next, and add Lords honours boards for those who score a gross of runs or take a dozen wickets? Oh, and Jimmy now has CDLVII test wickets. Three more for the big CDLX. I should be working.”
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13th over: Pakistan 32-2 (Hafeez 20, Younis 3) Younis isn’t comfortable here, Jimmy has him thinking and moving before the bowl is even bowled. No success though, the penultimate delivery whacked out into the covers for three. Batsman’s game.
Bill Hargreaves says nice things about the OBO today. Thanks, Bill. He goes on: “It always amuses me when a commentator uses the word ‘filth’ to describe sloppy bowling.”
I’ve described Mitch Starc on radio commentary in the past as a filth-merchant. I feel bad about that now, as he’s pretty good at cricket.
James Taylor has also written in (not that one) with a sound idea: “As he’ll likely never win SPOTY, can’t they give Anderson some sort of genius in his field award? He’s incredible.”
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12th over: Pakistan 29-2 (Hafeez 20, Younis 0) Ben Stokes is on. Assistant coach Paul Farbrace said in the press conference last night that he’s graduated from fourth seamer to third. Probably joint third with Woakes, but it is interesting that they think of him that way now in any case. Hafeez spots some early width from him though, unleashing the uppercut, over the cordon for a boundary. Don’t see that shot enough in 2016, for mine. Stokes is back in his best areas - ever so short of a length - thereafter. No further runs scored. 14 minutes to lunch, suspect they’ll stick with the Anderson v Younis match up now.
Seth Ennis likes my funny. “Woakes n’ Stokes? Reminds me of Hall and Oats, which reminds me of this...”
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11th over: Pakistan 25-2 (Hafeez 16, Younis 0) Goodness me. Younis cops an utter unplayable from Anderson first up. After doing Azhar with an off-cutter, this is a Waqar-style outswinger. A wicket maiden is the damage. He’s so good it’s unbelievable.
Younus still batting like he's just spotted a Raichu at silly mid-off. #ENGvPAK
— Wisden Almanack (@WisdenAlmanack) July 25, 2016
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WICKET! Azhar lbw Anderson 8. Pakistan 25-2
Just after talking up Azhar’s skillz he gets caught dead in front by Anderson. Superb bowling from the champ, rolling the fingers down the seam, the extra purchase generating significant movement into the right hander. In the end, he’s hit on the outside of his front pad; completely beaten. No review required. Eight to go.
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10th over: Pakistan 21-1 (Hafeez 16, Azhar 8) Another very tidy stroke from Hafeez to begin his response to Broad’s over, leaning into a drive through the offside when the England spearhead (well, one of them) overpitches. Can’t be far away from seeing Woakes-n-Stokes.
9th over: Pakistan 21-1 (Hafeez 12, Azhar 8) Anderson vs Ali. Two cricketers with plenty of confidence. If the no. 3 can get going, he has plenty of shots to entertain us through the afternoon. For now, he’s satisfied to defend Anderson’s probing over. Albeit with purposeful strides each time when defending. A good sign. He then gets two from the last ball driving down the ground. Like.
Bob O’Hara has got the right idea: “So, Robert Wilson will arrange things so your Paris romance is followed by a machine-gun wedding. Or something.” If anyone wants to lob me a recommendation I’m very open to it.
8th over: Pakistan 19-1 (Hafeez 12, Azhar 6) Shooooot. Despite recent struggles Hazeef is no chump. A lovely drive through point reminds us of that. After that mini-triumph, he’s happy enough to play out the rest of the Broad over conservatively.
7th over: Pakistan 15-1 (Hafeez 8, Azhar 6) Pakistan in relatively firm defence against Anderson now, getting well forward as he also brings his line slightly straighter. Only a single from the over, Hafeez pushing an off cutter into midwicket.
In keeping with the theme of Vic Marks’ piece this morning, Anderson’s removal of Masood marks the sixth time in six attempts he’s taken his wicket. He averages 2.5 against him. Says it all.
Robert Wilson must have heard I was talking about him. “I’m here for ya, buddy. You’ve picked the best time to visit Paris. If you like lots of policemen with machine-guns, I know all the best places.”
I’m actually commissioned to write a piece about Paris romance in summer. Someone’s paying me actual money to write that. Anyway, machine-guns it will be.
6th over: Pakistan 14-1 (Hafeez 7, Azhar 6) Azhar does nicely here to work a ball coming into him fine for four. Both players take singles later in the over, Azhar through midwicket and Hazeef on the posh side. After starting out wide, Broad is really attacking the stumps now.
Anderson's delivery to Masood was 79.94 mph, pitched 7.4 metres from the stumps, bounced 90cm and deviated 0.96 degrees away. #EngvPak
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) July 25, 2016
5th over: Pakistan 8-1 (Hafeez 6, Azhar 1) Anderson immediately tests the new man Azhar with a full-ish, straight-ish delivery, but he’s good enough to turn it into the on side to get off the mark.
Robin Hazlehurst says Hi. Hi Robin.
“What are England’s fielding dispositions here? That large lead is more justified if they keep nine men round the bat all day because the runs don’t matter. But if they start putting men defensively on the fence (as Cook is wont to do) it might be a little disappointing.”
Sure, it’s true that Cook doesn’t mind throwing more fielders out at times than the scoreboard would suggest is necessary. But I don’t think it’s wrong to assume at least one wicket in this second dig (probably more) will be won from Pakistan batsmen having a real crack.
Pakistan's Dawn paper say non-follow-on is "one of the most glaring instances of cowardice in cricketing history" https://t.co/Oh9ki9DjJp
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) July 25, 2016
WICKET! Masood c Cook b Anderson 1. Pakistan 7-1.
The most Jimmy Anderson dismissal you can imagine. Nibbling off the seam away from the left hander, prompting a fend when a leave would have done the job. It carries comfortably to Cook at first slip who does as you’d expect. Nine to go.
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4th over: Pakistan 7-0 (Hafeez 6, Masood 1) Broad back on point now, around the wicket. His third ball cuts away viciously from the left hander Masood. He pushes confidently into the covers later in the over to get off the mark. Good little early contest here between both sets of openers.
10 of Anderson's 12 deliveries so far have been categorised by our system as away swingers. #EngvPak
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) July 25, 2016
3rd over: Pakistan 6-0 (Hafeez 6, Masood 0) Hafeez is once again edging Anderson, safely. It’s thick, a couple taken behind point. A nasty one follows, Hafeez copped on the back of the arm when the ball spat back off the seam. Will he go to the sick bay? No, he’s sticking around to guts it out. Must have hurt. Nasser on the TV wondering why there isn’t a short leg in. Yeah - what is up with that? Seems like Jimmy never gets one anymore.
2nd over: Pakistan 4-0 (Hafeez 4, Masood 0) Broad opens up from the Brian Statham End and delivers a maiden to Masood. Admittedly the type here he didn’t have to play, so he didn’t. Good batting. The left hander was pretty good on the second evening, finding a way to survive when his colleagues weren’t able to.
Janet is writing in from France, so I’ll give her the final word on follow on as I’m heading to Paris for some R&R the day after this match ends. Maybe OBO regular Robert Wilson will show me around? I wonder if he’s reading? Hi Bob.
“Having thought about this overnight, including the Flintoff take on it, I feel there is one point worth mentioning which I didn’t see covered last night - and that is the state of the series. I think I would have been more tolerant of England arsing about however they like in this situation if they hadn’t gone into the match one down after batting like drains in the first innings at Lords. If they were already one up in the series ... but they aren’t and they really should have put the boot in and cleaned this one up as quickly and as clinically as possible. Batting practice is what you do in the nets.”
By the same token, there’s something to be said for punishing an opposition. Anyway, enough of that now. Promise.
1st over: Pakistan 4-0 (Hafeez 4, Masood 0) Jimmy has the struggling opener Hafeez defending with his hand off the bat first up. The ball looks so dark out there; the type that bowlers always believe will swing plenty. That’s proven by the third ball, moving away from the right hander in the most beautiful fashion. Way too good to nick. Then he does it again, because he’s wonderful like that. Third time around the edge is won, but it runs along the ground to third man.
It’s a very good way to start from Anderson. Swinging it as much as Derek Pringle in this clip, who I’m sitting next to at the moment, so it feels only right to share.
Let’s whip though some corro
Andre Goldsby: “Can’t help but feel if the Aussies were batting and England bowling people would be saying that this was canny and ruthless Aussie captaincy and congratulate them on really putting the foot on the oppositions throat by making them toil in the field. But English pessimism means we want about 12 days to knock a team over to feel really comfortable.”
A thesis in that.
Simon McMahon: “Pakistan now know that their chances of saving this Test are virtually zero. If they had followed on, got to say 300 for 4 at stumps tonight, they would have felt they had a chance on the last day. So I can see where Cook is coming from. If the rain comes, that’s another matter. And if your aunty had balls she’d be your uncle, I suppose.”
I was going to do the uncle/aunty thing a couple of posts ago. Glad you did.
OK, they’re back out. Sorry for lots of follow on chat, but with the game moving on so must the OBO.
Root and Cook 506 for 2 declared.
— Scott Oliver (@reverse_sweeper) July 25, 2016
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Declaration. England 173-1. Pakistan require 565 to win.
... or survive 11 hours.
The England skipper and his deputy piled on 75 in nine overs this morning. Let’s just be grateful that the session lasted on 39 minutes and we’re into the fun stuff now. They’ll get about 70 minutes at the visitors before lunch.
Cook and Root finish with 506 runs between them in the game for twice out
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) July 25, 2016
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30th over: England 173-1 (Cook 76, Root 71) Another supreme reverse swept boundary from Root, picking up Azhar’s loopy leggie on the full and thrashing it behind square for another boundary. It’s actually more a switch-hit. That’s the 100 partnership, 83 balls all it took. Cook gets to the pitch for a far more orthodox stroke, a cover drive. That’s a lovely boundary.
Oh, that’s it! A declaration.
29th over: England 161-1 (Cook 70, Root 65) From conventional, to reverse to slog sweeping from Root, flying to the rope. He’s good at that a well. Singles for both of them into the onside to end the over.
Norval Scott makes a really good point here: “Why declare in the first innings? If England needed more runs and/or more time, surely they should have just batted on?”
I’m with you. Remember when teams would bat into the third day? I remember.
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28th over: England 152-1 (Cook 68, Root 58) Azhar Ali is on for his part time legspin (read, filth). Whatever. Honestly, this is nothing now. Saying that, there’s always worth in watching Joe Root reverse sweep. He bisects the field with one here, real pretty. England’s 150 comes up with the stroke; England’s last 50 in 36 balls. There are four men on he legside boundary when Root is on strike now, so he takes the easiest single. Maybe they should both pick up tons in both innings just for the sake of it? Cook’s sweep - conventional this time - to the final ball ensures he will retain the strike.
Boycott on the radio compares it to a “charity match” in terms of the contest between bat and ball. He’s offering to bowl at one end, now.
Meanwhile, Stephen Nicholson says he remembers a time “in the gentlemanly past,” where teams were “technically invited to follow on.”
I decline your invitation.
Joe Root's really good at cricket. Hot take.
— AllOutCricket (@AllOutCricket) July 25, 2016
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27th over: England 143-1 (Cook 66, Root 51) Root picks up his fifty, and it’s the quickest of his Test career as well, taking just 39 balls. It was brought up with a hard sweep though midwicket off Yasir, who asked for it really by bowling a full toss to a guy batting as well as Root is this week. Seven from it after the customary singles to the sweepers. England lead by 534.
26th over: England 136-1 (Cook 64, Root 46) The five overs this morning have generated 38 runs, 14 coming from that Rahat over when Root picked up the pace with three boundaries. The most interesting was the hook gone wrong that still cleared the fielder in the deep. That never looks good. The final one was crunched a lot better, to square leg.
James Procter-Blain has some views: “I’m just really mystified as to why Cook is still batting. I mean, I could understand not declaring yesterday - giving the bowlers a rest, setting an unreachable target blah blah blah - but I really can’t understand why he didn’t declare overnight. His bowlers are fresh, he now has a lead of over 500... what’s stopping him from wanting to have a bowl ? Two days should be plenty, but I wouldn’t want to chance it, particularly not with the Manchester weather. If this match peters out into a rain-affected draw, this will go down as a massive tactical error by Cook.”
To be fair to Cook, there doesn’t seem to be rain around. And I don’t think they’ll be batting for much longer. This is rapid.
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25th over: England 122-1 (Cook 64, Root 32) Yasir is on, after just the one over from Amir. Fair play, I wouldn’t bother if I was the stud fast bowler in this attack either. Runs in the usual places: Root to the sweeper at deep cover, Cook two out there as well. There’s a shout for LBW to end the over, but it’s ripped a long way, an easy not out. A reminder to Cook of why he didn’t want to face him on the final day, I guess.
Johnny Starbuck has dropped in. Hi John. “It’s been pointed out, by Vic Marks in the Guardian, that Colin Cowdrey didn’t enforce a follow-on because the next day was a Bank Holiday and the ECB and whichever ground it was wanted to give paying spectators plenty of action. I suspect that, because this match began on Friday, people are getting last-day blues already. In the last Ashes, Trent Bridge was a three-day Test, which must have muddled the accountants’ assumptions for that financial year. Wood, trees.”
24th over: England 119-1 (Cook 62, Root 31) A couple to Root through point, then a boundary from Cook to third man of a thick kind of edge, but never in danger. The 50 stand in up in 39 balls along the way. Sweepers everywhere. It is, my friends, what it is.
But, we do have have a Kabbadi haiku from Michael Stones:
Kabbadi Kabba,
Di Kabbadi Kabbadi,
Kabbadi Kabba
And with that, I’m calling over on this topic. But it’s been illuminating. Thanks for the literally dozens of messages. Never have I inspired the OBO family quite like this.
23rd over: England 112-1 (Cook 58, Root 28) Singles into the off side for each ball of the over, until the final ball, when Cook takes two to deep point. Even with Amir the bowler, batting seldom gets easier than that. The 500 lead is recorded along the way. Not sure that matters much. Cook has to be some chance of twin tons here. Not for nothing. I’ll return to that topic in a tic.
Tons of Kabbadi chat. The best of it from Steven Craig: “Attackers repeat ‘Kabaddi’ to prove they aren’t breathing – their incursion can only last as long as they can hold their breath. It was great on Channel 4 – too glitzy now.”
What times to be alive. Kabbadi!
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22nd over: England 105-1 (Cook 53, Root 25) England are away with a Root single into the onside. Ample room for him to do exactly that, with a couple of sweepers out that side of the ground, and a man at deep point. And the second ball Cook faces for the day he drives gracefully to the point boundary. That’s his 50, his fastest half-century in Test cricket as well, taking just 55 balls. Get that man into the ODI team! Or maybe not. Still: he’s having a positively fluent game with the bat. The 100 is up for England with the stoke as well. Early productive work.
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Jerusalem is playing and kids are waving flags... which can only mean one thing: it’s time for some Test Match Cricket.
Pakistan are on the ground well ahead of when they need to be, doing a bit of catching practice on the field like a club side. Don’t change anything, ever.
Cook resumes on 49, Root 23. The score is 98-1, the lead 489. They’ve put on a run a ball 30. It’s the vice captain who will face the first ball, which will be hurled down by the dreamboat Rahat Ali. That’ll do us. Play, gentleman.
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My second post on Kabbadi - will there be a third?
“Kabbadi was on in the 90’s Channel 4,” Neil Harris tweets at me. “There Saturday morning line up was that and Trans world sport.” That explains the interest then: a retro thing. Sounds like we had at home with Wide World of Sports. Hosted by none other than Ian Chappell.
Update: @CategoryMistake (now that’s a twitter handle) tells me that it is the attackers who repeat kabaddi, not the defenders. “It defines their attack duration, or something.” Good enough for me.
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Read it from the pros
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Ali Martin on the follow on debate.
- Selve’s report from day four.
- Vic on bunnies
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Kabbadi is something I didn’t know existed until three days ago, but Sky have been running the Indian sport on the channel they show the cricket before play each day. I can’t explain it, other than to say it’s looser than Asad Shafiq’s dismissal yesterday. Lots of diving. And when in defence you yell “kabbadi, kabbadi!”. Pretty great stuff. I’ll post a vid below.
It’s created a bit of a cult following from those who show up early to the press box. Reminiscent of Australian kids of the 1990s and our intimate knowledge of 18 foot yacht racing, routinely showed in the lunch breaks of ODIs.
Let’s be honest with each other
This is going to be a trying morning of cricket. It always is on day four when a side is batting to inevitable declaration as England will be when play resumes here at Old Trafford in 34 minutes.
The main talk around town last night was why exactly Alastair Cook didn’t enforce the follow on. 391 ahead, with his bowlers’ only needing 64 overs to get the job done first time around. A few breaks in there too, including a sleep. Rain about. Don’t they want to play golf on day five? At least on an otherwise fairly dispiriting day it kept us interested, and squabbling.
Let’s deal with that Manchester weather. You know what? It’s beautiful outside. A bit nippy, but more sun by the minute. I’m reliably informed by a colleague that the rain should stay away all day.
What does this mean for the game? Well, with England already 489 ahead the runs aren’t much a factor. I’d be surprised if they are still batting at lunch. It’ll mean I’m fairly busy in the OBO chair, charting England’s junk-time runs. But we’ll do the best we can, won’t we? Maybe Captain Cook, resuming on 49, will make twin-tons. That’d be great. There’s also the James Vince subplot. But let’s deal with that later.
Vitushan Ehantharajah is the other man with the keys today, he’ll be along after lunch. For now, let’s talk some high-quality rubbish. Give me your best hot take on following on, or life at large. Adam.Collins.Freelance@theguardian.com or @collinsadam depending on whether your feelings are short or long.
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