It’s been a busy day for Vic Marks. He presented Dom Bess with his England cap this morning, and this evening he wrote a match report for your perusal.
With that, it’s time to head into the night. Thanks for your company; we’ll be back tomorrow morning. Goodnight.
Hasan Ali speaks! “We had a long meeting and our plan was to bowl fuller because the pitch was fresh with a bit of moisture. That’s where we succeeded. Playing in the Champions Trophy last year helped me adjust to English conditions. I would love to use the Duke ball all the time!”
Alastair Cook speaks! “Pakistan have had the better day, but with a five-day match you’ve got the chance to come back. Fifty for one can quickly become 80 for four, but credit to Pakistan. I thought it was a really interesting toss decision – the pitch is dry but it did have live grass on. The forecast is that it’ll get warmer. We were probably 60/70 short on that wicket, and it’s probably going to be a first innings v fourth innings game – 250 on the last day could be really hard work.”
A summary of the day’s play
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England 184 all out (Cook 70, Abbas 4-23, Hasan Ali 4-51)
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Pakistan 50-1 (Broad 1-10)
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Close of play
23rd over: Pakistan 50-1 (Azhar Ali 18, Haris Sohail 21) Ben Stokes switches ends to bowl the last over the day, a maiden to the excellent Azhar Ali. That’s stumps. The day’s play was dominated entirely by England until the first ball was bowled – after winning the toss and choosing to bat, they were hustled out for 184 by Pakistan’s superb seam attack. Azhar Ali and Haris Sohail then showed the value of defensive batting to take Pakistan to 50 for one, a deficit of 134. They have a great chance to take control of the game tomorrow, though England will know that no game against Pakistan is lost after one day. Except ODIs, obviously.
22nd over: Pakistan 50-1 (Azhar Ali 18, Haris Sohail 21) With five minutes remaining, Dom Bess comes on for his first bowl in Test cricket. He’s demonstratively setting his own field, a sign of his unusual maturity. All the available evidence suggest temperament will not be a problem, and he starts with a good over that includes a couple of skiddy deliveries which almost sneak past Haris’s defence. The last ball is a bit loose and cut for four.
21st over: Pakistan 46-1 (Azhar Ali 18, Haris Sohail 17) Azhar wrings his hand after taking a short ball from Wood on the glove. Wood is starting to make things happen, but he can’t rip Azhar from his bubble. He glides two more to third man and has 18 from 66 balls, the perfect innings in this situation.
20th over: Pakistan 43-1 (Azhar Ali 16, Haris Sohail 16) Stokes tries to make up for his error with a lively over to Azhar, who calms everything down with some solid defensive strokes. A maiden. Stokes has looked good in this short spell though.
19th over: Pakistan 43-1 (Azhar Ali 16, Haris Sohail 16) The two teams have played like each other today. Pakistan have batted patiently and bowled full; England batted friskily and are experimenting with the ball. And now England have dropped the kind of catch that Pakistan are supposed to put down! Haris Sohail was turned round by a terrific delivery from Wood and edged it towards Malan at second slip. He was waiting to take a relatively simple catch when Stokes flew across him from third slip and put down a one-handed chance.
Oh, England (reprise).
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18th over: Pakistan 41-1 (Azhar Ali 15, Haris Sohail 15) There’s a hush around Lord’s, though I suspect it’s born of booze rather than anticipation. Azhar Ali scrunches Stokes to third man for four. His approach – please don’t call it game management – has been immaculate.
17th over: Pakistan 36-1 (Azhar Ali 11, Haris Sohail 14) There’s just under half an hour’s play remaining. Wood jumps wide on the crease to beat Azhar Ali, a smart piece of bowling. Though England haven’t bowled brilliantly, they could easily have picked up two or three wickets tonight.
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16th over: Pakistan 34-1 (Azhar Ali 10, Haris Sohail 13) Ben Stokes replaces Stuart Broad, who bowled a good spell of 7-4-10-1, and promptly beats Sohail with a full-length outswinger. Beautifully bowled.
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15th over: Pakistan 36-1 (Azhar Ali 14, Haris Sohail 11) The Pakistan batsmen look comfortable against Wood, despite his extra pace. He hasn’t made them play enough, and Azhar in particular is happy to ignore as many deliveries as possible before the close.
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14th over: Pakistan 32-1 (Azhar Ali 10, Haris Sohail 11) A very full delivery from Broad beats Haris’s attempted drive. The follow-up delivery is too straight and zips away for four leg-byes. England really need at least one more wicket before the close or tomorrow could be a serotonin-sapper.
13th over: Pakistan 26-1 (Azhar Ali 10, Haris Sohail 9) Azhar is beaten, feeling for a sharp short ball from Wood. I was just about to say that Pakistan have played smarter cricket than England today; that was one of only a few loose strokes in the innings, and they bowled fuller as well.
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12th over: Pakistan 26-1 (Azhar Ali 10, Haris Sohail 9) There are 18 overs remaining, though we won’t get them all as play will end in 50 minutes’ time (I think). Haris has shown such good judgement outside off stump that Broad has moved around the wicket. The second ball from the new angle beats Haris’s nervous fence outside off stump. Another good over from Broad, his fourth maiden of the innings.
11th over: Pakistan 26-1 (Azhar Ali 10, Haris Sohail 9) Mark Wood replaces Jimmy Anderson, who bowled an okay first spell of 5-2-11-0. His pace is good, with his second ball measured at 89.2mph. The speedgun has come a long way from the England v Pakistan Test at Lord’s in 1996, when Mark Ealham was clocked as being faster than Wasim Akram. Azhar flicks confidently through midwicket for a couple to end Wood’s quiet first over.
10th over: Pakistan 22-1 (Azhar Ali 7, Haris Sohail 8) Haris survives a relatively quiet LBW appeal for Broad, with replays showing an inside-edge. Another good over from Broad, who tries to set Sohail up for the drive. Sohail declines the offer.
9th over: Pakistan 22-1 (Azhar Ali 7, Haris Sohail 8) I’d be tempted to have a look at Ben Stokes, who might make the ball hoop in these conditions. Anderson is driven crisply through mid-off for three by Sohail.
“Dear Rob,” says Dave Seare. “The Smith regime has been tottering since he failed to name Ed Sheeran, Simon Cowell and that bloke off the PPI ads among his scouts. And his emphasis on cricket flies in the face of ECB policy.”
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8th over: Pakistan 17-1 (Azhar Ali 6, Haris Sohail 4) Broad has another LBW celebration turned down by Rod Tucker, this time against Azhar Ali. There was a huge inside edge and it probably hit the pad outside off stump. That aside, it was plumb. Another, more polite LBW appeal is turned down two balls later – Azhar was well outside the line but I think Broad argued he was hiding his bat. This is a challenging spell from Broad, whose knees are pumping so much that he’s in danger of knocking his own front teeth out.
7th over: Pakistan 16-1 (Azhar Ali 6, Haris Sohail 4) Azhar, pushing around his front pad at a sharp off-cutter, survives a big LBW appeal from Anderson. England decide not to review; replays show it did far too much and would have missed leg. Sohail is then beaten by a length delivery that moves sharply off the seam. England haven’t pitched it up as much as Pakistan.
“If England are playing Wood because they want to get pace into the XI (though Lord’s in May not be the ideal time and place), they should have picked Olly Stone, who is the quickest bowler in English cricket and in form,” says Gary Naylor. “He’s also 24 and has played nearly twice as many first-class matches as Dom Bess.”
I’m sure he was discussed but two debutants might have been too great a risk. But it’s probably about time we asked a difficult question: has Ed Smith taken this team as far as he can?
6th over: Pakistan 16-1 (Azhar Ali 6, Haris Sohail 4) It was a good delivery from Broad, fullish and snaking back towards the pad. I suspect the umpire Rod Tucker, as with the Ben Stokes dismissal earlier in the session, thought it had pitched outside leg stump.
The new batsman is the left-handed Haris Sohail, who is playing his fourth Test. He is beaten first ball by a very good delivery and then gets off the mark with a swaggering clip over midwicket for four.
“I have a theory that I believe explains the current failure of our batsmen,” says Kim Thonger. “They’ve been traumatised by the number of GDPR emails they’ve received in the last 24 hours. It’s destroyed their ability to concentrate. The good news is my theory predicts a gradual recovery as they all get used to GDPR not actually affecting their lives at all when the fuss dies down. Unless it does, then the whole summer is a write off.“
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WICKET! Pakistan 12-1 (Imam LBW b Broad 4)
Imam survives a huge appeal/celebration for LBW from Broad, and Joe Root reviews. It looked really close - and replays show it was plumb!
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5th over: Pakistan 11-0 (Azhar Ali 6, Imam-ul-Haq 4) It’s been a pretty solid start from Pakistan, that one thick edge notwithstanding, and Imam comfortably sees off Anderson’s third over.
“Re: your comment about Buttler’s dismissal,” begins Matt Dony. “Unless you live in some multiple-kitchen lap of luxury, then ‘every sink in the house’ probably amounts to ‘the kitchen sink.’ Bathrooms and WC’s have basins. I realise this is pedantry on a depressing level, but here we are. As is so often the case, that is all I have to offer.”
You haven’t seen my new office. I use sinks instead of desks as it cuts out those wasted rehydration minutes.
4th over: Pakistan 10-0 (Azhar Ali 5, Imam-ul-Haq 4) A better over from Broad, who jags one back to hit Imam in the breadbasket. The fuller follow-up is thick-edged wide of the slips for four. That was a fairly loose stroke, with not much foot movement.
3rd over: Pakistan 5-0 (Azhar Ali 5, Imam-ul-Haq 0) That’s a lovely shot from Azhar Ali, who leans into an Anderson outswinger and drives it through mid-off for four. He is a key man at the best of times but especially if this becomes a low-scoring game, because he has the capacity to bat all day. Sometimes he even plays a defensive stroke!
Imam then survives an appeal for a catch down the leg side off Anderson. It was a stunning low take from Bairstow but the ball hit only the pad.
“Good afternoon Rob,” says Dave Brown. “I rather think England have missed a trick by preferring Wood to Woakes. They’ve always had this fascination with pace which I’ve never really got. Fair enough if you’ve got Marshall, Donald, Holding et al but I feel Wood could be quite expensive here.”
Wasn’t it just part of the restructuring of the team? I thought that was a really difficult decision – Woakes definitely gives you a better chance of winning this match, but England want to break the cycle of home wins and away defeats. I’d like to see much more flexibility and rotation, with different XIs for almost every game, but it will take decades for that to happen. What I’m saying is: I’m a visionary!
2nd over: Pakistan 0-0 (Azhar Ali 0, Imam-ul-Haq 0) Imam-ul-Haq is beaten first ball, chasing a very wide delivery from Broad. A quiet over thereafter, with Broad’s radar not quite right.
“Maybe the lads are pushing towards a 100-ball Test format for people not interested in cricket,” says Dave Seare. “There’s an endearing lack of competence about England batting these days, though well bowled Pakistan.”
I thought it was more about Pakistan’s bowling than England’s batting. That said, there has never been an England line-up less capable of defensive batting than this one.
1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Azhar Ali 0, Imam-ul-Haq 0) Anderson’s first over is a promising maiden, with plenty of outswing and one play-and-miss from Azhar Ali. England will want a minimum of two wickets tonight; if they start well they could get four or five.
If you’re just joining us, the good news is that England have taken a strong first step towards synchronising their Test form at home and away.
Say what you like about England - and I wouldn’t want to be a foam-allergic keyboard right now - but that was a blistering bowling performance from Pakistan. They even backed it up in the field. See you in 10 minutes to see how England’s bowlers fare. Meantime, here’s a precis of the day so far (NB: clip contains adult language)
WICKET! England 184 all out (Wood c Amir b Ali 7)
That’ll do. Wood mis-pulls towards mid-on, where Amir swoops to take a terrific catch. A year on from the horror of Cardiff, England have been savaged by Pakistan’s pace bowlers again.
58th over: England 180-9 (Wood 3, Anderson 0) “I’ve been struggling to express the core reason why Pakistan are the life, soul and party of this fabulous game we call cricket,” writes Peter Cork. “I think the answer is: ask anyone to point-blank name the first 20 cricketers who put a smile on their face. Do this for 50 people, from all nationalities and all walks of life. Chances are, that top 20 will be 40% Pakistani, 60% other.”
WICKET! England 180-9 (Broad LBW b Abbas 0)
Most of the wickets have come from full-length deliveries. Pakistan’s complementary seam attack have been terrific - and there goes another! Broad is trapped LBW by a fine off-cutter to the left-hander, and is so obviously plumb that he doesn’t even consider a review.
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WICKET! England 180-8 (Bess c Shafiq b Abbas 5)
Another England batsman falls on the drive. Bess launched into a fast-handed drive at a full-length delivery and edged it straight to Shafiq at second slip. He took a sharp catch, his second since tea, and England are now waist deep in the filth.
57th over: England 175-7 (Bess 1, Wood 3) Bess shoves Hasan to leg to get off the mark in Test cricket. Incidentally, we’re having a few technical issues so apologies if the updates are slow to come through.
“I wish I had sent this earlier...but do you think Buttler will average more than Ali at 7?” asks Simon Land. “And/or play a defensive innings? Nothing against the bloke, but I am not sure I am on board with this.”
He has the potential to average more than anyone at No7, which is why they’ve picked him. I’m not sure he will but I’m glad we’re going to find out – he’s a genius, so we shouldn’t die wondering. And nor should he.
56th over: England 174-7 (Bess 0, Wood 2) Bess is beaten, wafting loosely outside off stump at Abbas. He and Wood can both bat. Bess has a first-class hundred, for MCC against Essex in March, and Wood made his first Test fifty in New Zealand. But Pakistan are bowling ever so well. I always wanted to use the phrase ‘ever so well’, thus signifying the completion of my journey from young hopeful to old fart.
“Pete Salmon shouldn’t just eavesdrop on the elderly drunks at the pub,” says Mac Millings. “He should go over and introduce himself to Gary Naylor and Phil Sawyer while he has the chance.”
55th over: England 173-7 (Bess 0, Wood 1) I don’t know what it is, but I do know Hasan Ali has got it. Figures of 14-2-45-3 do not flatter him at all.
Meanwhile, we have a live report from Lord’s.
WICKET! England 168-7 (Buttler c Shafiq b Ali 14)
And now Buttler has gone to a blinding catch! He threw every sink in the house into a drive at Hasan Ali, and the ball flew off the edge towards second slip. Asad Shafiq showed extraordinary reflexes to get his head out of the way and take a brilliant two-handed catch by his right shoulder.
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54th over: England 168-6 (Buttler 14, Bess 0) “I admire your optimism in making England favourites - I’m not so sure,” says Gary Naylor. “Batting has not been easy, but it’s not been as hard as England, rusty and impatient, have made it look. I’d guess that there are at least three centuries in this pitch and England don’t have many chances left to get them if we look at the tail, Jos Buttler’s four career first-class tons and the fact that Stoneman and Root look like they’ve forgotten what to do with the bat. Pakistan are likely to channel Misbah and Younus and grind England’s four right arm fast-mediums and rookie spinner into the lush earth of NW8 come the weekend.”
It’s a fascinating opinion, Gary, but I’m afraid it doesn’t tally with mine. Good day.
(Yes, points taken, and I thought England were under par even before Stokes’s dismissal, but I think their bowlers will be too good in these conditions. Either way, and far more importantly, it could be a cracking game.)
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WICKET! England 168-6 (Stokes LBW b Abbas 38)
The impressive Mohammad Abbas replaces Mohammad Amir and has a huge shout for LBW against Stokes turned down. Pakistan are going to review. The main doubt is whether the ball pitched outside leg; if not, this is very close.
It’s out! I’m not sure anyone expected that to be overturned, as it all looked very innocuous. It just pitched in line - about 52 per cent of the ball - and hit the pad in front of middle stump. England are in trouble now.
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53rd over: England 168-5 (Stokes 38, Buttler 14) Hasan Ali returns in place of Shadab Khan. That’s an excellent, aggressive move from Pakistan, who know that Stokes and particularly Buttler could do a lot of damage if they get in after tea. Buttler drives a single to move to 14 from 14 balls; one way or another, I don’t think he’s going to die wondering about his Test career.
“Morning Rob,” says Adam Roberts. “It’s a treat during these times (Test matches) that I can catch some cricket on ESPN as a salve to getting up so ridiculously early. This morning, the power went off so no TV, no internet, no way to follow what’s going on. Sadly, when it came back on I wasn’t spared the horror of Joe Root’s ‘shot’ replayed for our pleasure.”
Here’s Phil Sawyer again “When the drunks around here move on to furniture polish, they’re not talking about it…”
“Afternoon Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “Your reader will be pleased to note that young Has just scored 140 for the Lancashire 2nd XI against Gloucestershire. A spell in the seconds away from the spotlight seems to be doing him a world of good (he got a century in the 50-over stuff the other day as well). And my thanks, as ever, to HighPeakGeek of the County Cricket Live! blog for bringing these scores to my attention. To be honest, I think HPG gets 2nd XI information beamed directly into his brain. He just sees a stream of letters and numbers scrolling down, Matrix-style.”
Teatime chatter
“The drunks in the pub have moved on to furniture polish – missed the start, so it’s completely baffling,” says Pete Salmon. “Mr Sheen best, they reckon.”
Don’t eavesdrop too obviously or they’ll tell you to mind your own beeswax. Honk!
Honk?
Go on, honk.
52nd over: England 165-5 (Stokes 36, Buttler 13) Amir is making the ball murmur, moving it just enough both ways, and Stokes survives an optimistic LBW shout when he pushed around an inducker. It was too high. A lot depends on Stokes, who has a much greater sense of permanence at the crease than he did even a year ago. He has matured into a proper batsman.
That’s the end of another excellent session. England lost Cook (70) and Bairstow (27) to bail-trimmers but will still fancy their chances of a solid first-innings total. See you soon for the long evening session.
51st over: England 164-5 (Stokes 35, Buttler 13) Not long until tea. It’s been Pakistan’s day but I’d still make England favourites. Shadab, hitherto expensive, is milked for a couple.
50th over: England 162-5 (Stokes 34, Buttler 12) A quiet over from Amir; nothing to report. In other news, Virat Kohli and Surrey have changed their status to ‘It’s complicated’. Stay tuned: there are plenty more 2008 references where that came from.
“Good afternoon Rob,” says Jonny L. “A question – I think. Hameed looked like he was going to play for England for ten years and now can’t get a game for Lancs – can he come back? Any word on what has happened? Such a huge fall for someone who looked such a star and also puts into perspective the achievement of Cook lasting so long at the top.”
I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s still a lot younger than most people when they make their Test debut. The schedule hasn’t helped him but he’s the best young England batsman I’ve ever seen so I can’t believe he’s going to end up in the big black hole marked Lost Talents.
49th over: England 160-5 (Stokes 33, Buttler 11) There are few people who won’t wish Buttler well on his return. He’s a genius, an entertainer and a lovely bloke. He had been told to play his way and so he does, slapping Shadab for 10 off the over. There were two emphatic boundaries, one clipped between midwicket and mid-on, and the other hustled through the covers. He has 11 from seven balls.
“Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “I’m out here! Wasn’t emailing as having a sneaky one at the pub to watch the lads on the sward. Big group of elderly drunks to my left who spent first ten minutes talking about breasts, and then modulated into a discussion of literary suicides, and the relevance of Eugene O’Neill. Goes to show first impressions can be wrong. They also think England should be about 180 by now, and Root needs to step up. They’ve now moved onto mid-70s Bob Dylan. Will keep you posted.”
I need to hear their thoughts on the new Lars von Trier. Actually, I need to hear their views on absolutely everything.
48th over: England 150-5 (Stokes 33, Buttler 1) The new batsman is Joseph Charles Buttler. His first ball is almost his last: he feels nervously outside off stump and inside edges just past leg stump.
WICKET! England 149-5 (Cook b Amir 70)
Cook forces Amir through the covers for four to move into the seventies. This, as you probably know, is his 153rd consecutive Test. It’s longevity gone mad!
Oh, and now he’s gone! Cook is cleaned up by a stunning delivery from Amir that straightens sharply to trim the off bail as he fiddles down the wrong line. That was a beauty.
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47th over: England 145-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 33) After a handful of sighters, Stokes hoicks Shadab to cow corner for six. Pick that out! He bats with such authority these days, particularly in home conditions. No, I’m not suggesting we should drop him for overseas Tests.
“Hi,” says David Seare. “I just got side-tracked reading some Guardian opinion pieces about how crap the world is. A Cook ton would might restore my inner balance this afternoon.”
The world is crap and we’re watching Pakistan in the Lord’s Test. Is that cognitive dissonance?
46th over: England 139-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 27) Mohammad Amir replaces Hasan Ali, who bowled a fascinating spell, and is clattered through extra cover for three by Stokes. I’m not sure you’re ever quite in against Pakistan, certainly when the ball is moving in the air, but Cook and Stokes are looking good.
“You are my one link to cricket now that it is on BT Sport and I can’t get it on ESPN here anymore….” says Rachel Clifton.
It’s back on Sky! And you don’t have that either do you!
45th over: England 136-4 (Cook 66, Stokes 24) Reverse swing at one end, wrist spin at the other. This is Pakistan. Shadab, this very promising teenager, is easing his way into what might be a longer spell. Stokes lunges at a googly but softens his hands enough to get a thick edge wide of slip for four, and then Cook drives another emphatic boundary through extra cover. At the moment this is all a bit Oval 2017.
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44th over: England 126-4 (Cook 61, Stokes 19) All things being equal, Hasan Ali will become a superstar in the next few years. He’s not blisteringly fast like the greatest Pakistan bowlers of the last 40 years but he’s quick enough and has the same ability to get blood out of a flat track through personality, imagination and reverse swing.
Stokes survives a big LBW appeal in the course of another excellent over. He whipped around a sharp reverse inswinger that would probably have missed leg. Replays show it was umpire’s call so Stokes would have survived had Pakistan reviewed. The next ball is almost identical – but this time Stokes nails a clip through midwicket for four. This is fantastic Test cricket.
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43rd over: England 122-4 (Cook 61, Stokes 15) Shadab Khan replaces whoever he’s replaced. Faheem Ashraf, yeah. An exploratory over brings a single apiece for Cook and Stokes.
42nd over: England 120-4 (Cook 60, Stokes 14) Stokes struggled with the bat in the IPL but he looks solid here. A mettlesome drive through extra cover for four reinforces the point. Then, after fielding a straight drive in his follow through, Hasan Ali yelps with pain. This is a terrific contest between two irresistible forces of personality, and later in the over Stokes drags another hot inswinger onto his pads.
41st over: England 116-4 (Cook 60, Stokes 10) Cook drives Faheem sweetly through extra cover for four. The cover drive has become a key barometer of Cook’s form, given the necessary foot movement, and he has played it excellently today.
40th over: England 110-4 (Cook 56, Stokes 9) Thanks Nick, hello everyone. The compelling Hasan Ali continues to Ben Stokes, who walks down the track and drags an attempted drive onto the pad. Ali goes up for LBW but there was a huge inside edge. The next ball goes the other way to beat the edge, and Stokes responds with a muscular drive through mid-off for four. A superb over ends when Stokes digs out a brilliant full-length inswinger. Pakistan are in the mood just now, nobody more than Hasan Ali. The first two letters of his first name and surname spell haal, and he personifies the haal of Pakistan cricket.
39th over: England 105-4 (Cook 56, Stokes 5) Sleepy old over from Faheem to Cook, who only has ten runs in the hour since lunch, but that’s the sort of pace he’s comfortable with.
And with that, I shall hand over to the gentle caress of Rob Smyth, who will guide you through the rest of the day. Your emails to him here.
38th over: England 105-4 (Cook 56, Stokes 5) Stokes lends a hand to Cook by chipping in with a four, not a perfectly-timed cover drive but struck well enough to reach the ropes.
Hawkeye suggests there was a decent bit of movement, even if it didn’t look that way live, but the slope goes the other way (and its effect is generally exaggerated), so it was off the seam.
@NickMiller79 Is that the Lord's slope or has Bairstow just missed a straight one in his 20s, like some sort of club cricketer? (It's partly my fault, mind, for deciding not to look up from my work for that ball and only that ball.)
— Huw Davies (@thehuwdavies) May 24, 2018
37th over: England 101-4 (Cook 56, Stokes 1) Cook being responsible for 56 of England’s 101 runs so far, worth a reminder that the record for such things is still held by Charles Bannerman, who got 165 of Australia’s total of 245 (or 67.34%) against England in Melbourne in 1877. Stokes adds a single to ‘The Rest’ with a thick inside edge just behind square.
WICKET! Bairstow b Faheem Ashraf 27 - England 100-4
Faheem returns, and does the job instantly, bowling Bairstow clean up. A weird one: didn’t seem to move very much, if at all, and it looked like Bairstow...just missed one on off-stump.
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36th over: England 100-3 (Cook 56, Bairstow 27) Hasan is back, back, back. Such a good shot from Cook, little more than a jab off his knees that is timed so well it dashes to the boundary, just in front of deep mid-wicket. He’s denied another boundary from a whacking cut, Imam again showing those familial fielding chops with a great stop at backward point.
“I read John’s suggestion as ‘twenty-five ball overs’” writes Bene, presumably while squinting. “For a fraction of a second, I thought ‘that requires an almost Test match level of endurance...’ before I remembered how to read.”
35th over: England 94-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 27) Imam-ul-Haq dives brilliantly to his left at point to stop a Bairstow shot, which is enjoyable for three reasons. 1) It was a great bit of fielding. 2) He did it while wearing glasses. 3) The thought of uncle Inzy trying to do that is absolutely delicious. Imam is back in action as Bairstow drives lustily at a fullish ball, but gets a thick edge that ul-Haq Jnr retrieves from the third man way.
34th over: England 92-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 25) Bit of a lull in things, but Bairstow does get matters moving with some smart running, scampering a two off his hip then nabbing a single from a push towards the covers.
“Has John 5tarbuck been on the lunchtime sauce?” scoffs Phil Sawyer. “Twenty over cricket? It’ll never catch on.”
33rd over: England 89-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 22) Can’t really think of anything to say about that over. Nothing really happened. Apart from a push into the covers from Cook. So nothing really.
The revolution continues:
@NickMiller79 on the Hundred (💯), why not get rid of overs entirely? 100 balls. Captain decides who bowls how many balls and for how long, eg a bowler can bowl 11 in a row if he/captain wants. Could have a true death bowler bowling a single delivery. Bowler picks ends too.
— Anthony Richardson (@AmhRichardson) May 24, 2018
32nd over: England 89-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 22) Amir flings one wide to Bairstow, who probably should have left it alone but launches into a perfectly-timed shot over the covers, and to the boundary.
Hundred addendum, from John Starbuck: “They could call it 5upercricket. What marketing twerp wouldn’t jump at that?”
Any marketing twerps reading?
31st over: England 85-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 18) Abbas bowls four balls on an immaculate line, then out of nowhere sends down a wild bouncer down leg, that is lucky not to be called a wide and lucky to only concede a single bye, which is the only run from the over.
John Starbuck has got this ‘life’ business all sorted out: “The pile of idiocy that is the proposed Hundred will be hanging around for a while though this series, but the most egregious bit - the ten-ball over at the end - can be solved. Twenty five-ball overs. This also avoids negating the possibility of a very unmatched side not even getting to the last over. Now, about solving Brexit ....”
30th over: England 84-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 18) Amir is still proving a touch frustrating: he beats Cook with the first and fifth balls of the over, but balls two, three and four are all over the place, wide off, wide leg - generally not much use, while six is a low full toss, going for the yorker. Still, a maiden.
29th over: England 84-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 18) Good lord what a delivery: Abbas pitches one on middle-off stump that seams away from Bairstow, narrowly missing the edge of both bat and stump. That seems to spook Bairstow a little as he unwisely flings the bat at the next one, a wide one he could have easily left alone. But then he gets one right, a most perfect drive through the covers and to the fence. Abbas gives him a good hard stare, just like Paddington.
28th over: England 80-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 14) It’s Amir from the Nursery End, beating Cook with one, but not beating him with another: Cook drives, a touch uncertainly, but well enough to bring up his 50 with a four just in front of point.
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27th over: England 76-3 (Cook 46, Bairstow 14) Bairstow gets in that sort of half back, half forward position and tries a back-foot push, getting a thick outside edge on one that flies past a diving gully. Might have been a quarter chance, but probably not: what it definitely is, is four runs.
We’re back, and Mohammad Abbas has the ball, Bairstow facing first up.
“So James Vince is dropped because he kept edging drives at wide balls too often for a No. 3,” writes Mike. “Root gets promoted to No. 3 because... Oh”
When Root starts doing it in every sodding innings, you might have a point.
And we’re back. Or we will be back in a few minutes. Let’s have some more of your pre-Test superstitions/traditions, like this one...
@NickMiller79 Our Test Match-and mostly County Championship-tradition is to have an apple pie(from a particular bakery in Harrogate)&we couldn't eat it until someone scored a fifty.We gave the TMS team a Fiddy Pie 1ce;it was 1 of our proudest moments when they mentioned it on air
— Thom Kirkwood (@thom_kirkwood) May 24, 2018
A bit of lunchtime reading: a very lovely conversation between James Anderson and Stuart Broad, about bowling, England, bowling for England and just generally being good lads.
Lunch: England 72-3
Ostensibly a ropey session for England, but it could have been worse. Some terrific bowling from Hasan Ali and Mohammad Abbas could have collected more than the three wickets, and it’s taken some doughty and positive batting from Alastair Cook to hold the whole thing together. Their hope will be that as the sun comes out - and it is coming out a bit - then the ball will swing less and they’ll have less cause to grope around outside off stump.
26th over: England 72-3 (Cook 46, Bairstow 10) Bairstow tries to flick a ball from Amir off middle-stump through mid-wicket, but feet before it reached the bat it disappeared, wildly hooping away and only just missing the outside edge. One of those that looked like a hideous shot, but was actually very good bowling indeed. Bairstow escapes to the other end with a single, and it’s Cook’s turn to be beaten past the edge. And that is lunch.
25th over: England 71-3 (Cook 46, Bairstow 9) Wahey! In accordance with tradition, we’re going to have An Over Of Spin Before Lunch! 19-year-old Shadab Khan comes on, and the batsmen take four singles from the over. Doesn’t seem to be a huge amount of turn there initially, probably one for later in the Test.
24th over: England 67-3 (Cook 44, Bairstow 7) Mo Amir is back on, after a not especially inspiring opening spell earlier. He pushes two fairly wide ones across Bairstow, the first of which he toe-ends into the turf, the second I swear I heard a nick from, but nobody appealed.
#ENGvPAK @NickMiller79 Alastair Cook has made it to 40, which, on all recent evidence, means he will get 240
— Tim de Lisle (@TimdeLisle) May 24, 2018
23rd over: England 67-3 (Cook 44, Bairstow 7) Glorious straight drive through a wide open mid-off brings Cook four off Faheem. That area is vacant presumably because they want to keep Cook driving, but he’s been pretty solid so far today. As if to prove my point, he nails another one, this time through the covers: that’s four fours in the 15 or so yards between mid-off and extra-cover for Cook.
Meanwhile, just in case you’ve been wondering, in the ‘Lord’s bingo’ stakes, so far we’ve had a shot of John Major in the crowd, a shot of someone opening a bottle of something chilled and fizzy, and a shot of a champagne cork on the outfield. Haven’t spotted a hamper or Michael Parkinson yet, but presumably it’s only a matter of time.
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22nd over: England 59-3 (Cook 36, Bairstow 7) Hasan comes round the wicket to Cook, trying to hoop something in, but doesn’t quite get his lines right. Cook can afford to leave most things alone, aside from the last ball, on his pads, that he flicks round the corner for one.
Meanwhile, some bad news for Surrey/people in England who like watching the best batsman in the world...
21st over: England 58-3 (Cook 35, Bairstow 7) Cook doesn’t really get all of a straight drive, the bat twisting in his hands, but he does send the ball straight past the bowler and eventually to the fence. He tries again but only gets a single, and Hasan’s brief lbw appeal against Bairstow is curtailed by a suspiciously woody noise.
20th over: England 53-3 (Cook 30, Bairstow 7) More nice bowling from Hasan, scuttling in and making Bairstow’s life miserable. A maidan. “Soup Pedant’s corner,” writes Sean Clayton, referring to a pre-Test quirk. “Assuming that the mystery “German tomato soup” (13th over) is Heinz, it’s actually from that well-known Teutonic outpost of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - probably why the current Steelers stadium is entitled Heinz Field. That, and lots and lots of lovely soup dollars.”
19th over: England 53-3 (Cook 30, Bairstow 7) Faheem pitches one up to Cook and absolutely does him, jagging in off the pitch and beating the left-hander’s inside edge. Good bowling this from Pakistan, which at the risk of inviting being shouted at is more the cause of the scorecard, rather than England’s batting/fragile constitutions.
Hopefully Jonathan McCauley-Oliver is OK: “On the theme of pre-first Test traditions what I have done for the past 25 years is, the night before the game, take all my hopes, dreams, and ambitions, stick ‘em in a sack, add a few bricks for weight and, the next morning walk halfway across Waterloo Bridge and drop them in the river.”
18th over: England 53-3 (Cook 30, Bairstow 7) 50 up for England, as Bairstow plays one of those slightly skewed, inside-out drives through the covers for three. Cook tucks a single off his hips, then Hasan beats Bairstow with an absolute blinder, drifting in then jagging away: if it was a touch fuller, Bairstow would’ve been bang in trouble.
17th over: England 49-3 (Cook 29, Bairstow 4) “What is going on?” quite reasonably asks Dave Brown. “Is the ball spitting around or is this just poor shot selection?” Bit of both - it is swinging, although slightly less so since the sun came out, but Abbas and Hasan in particular have bowled excellent lines and lengths. Cook dabs a couple behind point, but otherwise it’s a quiet over.
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16th over: England 47-3 (Cook 27, Bairstow 4) Hasan’s celebration, which we’ve seen twice now, is quite a thing. A primal roar combined with a sort of spread arms thing. Bairstow offers what we’re obliged to call a ‘good leave’ - by which we mean one that took a coat of varnish from off stump. The next ball is better, flicked to deep backward square for a boundary.
This probably would’ve been better when Abbas was bowling, but a nugget from Dan M here: “I noted your post that Abbas looks like he was grown in a lab to bowl early season seamers. Well, guess who he plays domestic cricket for in Pakistan? His team is called “Khan Research Laboratories”. You might be onto something.”
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WICKET! Malan c Sarfraz b Hasan 6 - England 43-3
A buffet ball from Hasan is flicked with gusto for four by Malan, but the next one is a smasher, which Malan dangles the bat at, edging behind. England in a bit of mither here.
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15th over: England 39-2 (Cook 27, Malan 2) Naturally after that close lbw call, Faheem serves up a long-hop that Cook batters to the square-leg fence.
Interesting has email just come in: “Colin Graves*, here. So Tom Driscoll expects us to believe that not only has his 18 yr old cousin attended a cricket match, but has been enough times to have developed a superstition. Pull the other one. #the100”
*For the sake of clarity, this was not from Colin Graves.
Not out!
Wowch. That was clipping off, but umpire’s call is the...erm...call. Cook stays, and Pakistan keep their review.
Review!
Faheem thuds into Cook’s pads: umpire Reiffel says no, and first look suggests it was missing off stump, but they go upstairs...
14th over: England 35-2 (Cook 23, Malan 2) Hasan’s first ball to Malan is on his shins, and he gets off the mark with a flick for two to fine leg. Looking at the Root dismissal again, it really was an ugly shot, redeemed slightly by his desperate attempt to disguise his initial disgust, lest the umpire somehow not notice he’d hit the cover off it.
WICKET! Root c Sarfraz b Hasan Ali 4 - England 33-2
Abbas gets a rest, and Hasan trundles in from the Nursery End. He nearly gets through a slightly limp defensive shot from Root, then attempts a bouncer which...doesn’t go well, called a wide. The next ball isn’t a huge amount better, but it works: a very wide half-volley, a bit of away swing which Root chases and edges through to the keeper.
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13th over: England 32-1 (Cook 23, Root 4) Another bowling change, and Faheem Ashraf gets a bowl from the Pavilion End. Not a fearsome pace from Faheem, but he does have quite a busy run up and action. Both batsman nudge singles - Cook one, Root two - and a peaceful over passes.
“On the subject of odd things to bring to the cricket,” writes Tom Driscoll, “my cousin always brings a flask of tomato soup (always the same well-known German brand and no other) with him, whether it be 8 or 28 degrees. He claims it is superstitious as our teams always seem to win when he does, but he’s 18 now and I’d have thought he’d have grown out of it/learned that it doesn’t make the faintest bit of difference. Then again, his parents always make him sit in the new stand at Trent Bridge (aka the Nottingham Wind Tunnel) and so maybe the ‘superstition’ is a mask to maintain his dignity rather than admitting he’s cold and incurring verbal abuse from his family.”
12th over: England 29-1 (Cook 22, Root 2) Abbas comes round the wicket to Cook, which seems a little odd given how well he’s been bowling from over. Indeed, he essentially sends down an over of wide dreck, and before the fifth ball Sarfraz runs down to have a word. He stays around...and that time gets a better line, just around off, but it’s a little short and Cook gets on top of it, guiding safely through the slips and for four.
It's all right for Geoffrey Boycott to say Mohammad Abbas has little to offer at this pace, but he's bowled like Glenn McGrath this morning, albeit from the "other" end @NickMiller79
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 24, 2018
Never change, Geoffrey.
Actually, no wait, scrap that: please either change, or stop it.
11th over: England 25-1 (Cook 18, Root 2) Slightly iffy over from Hasan, which Root barely has to lay a bat on, save for a couple directed at middle and off.
“Can I just ask,” asks Simon Lean. “Are you on e-mail? If not, apologies to whoever receives this message.”
You simply have to be these days.
10th over: England 25-1 (Cook 18, Root 2) Abbas continues, and beats Cook’s outside edge twice with some lovely bowling, the sort of length to really test this new-found keenness to get on the front foot, running across him with just enough away movement.
9th over: England 25-1 (Cook 18, Root 2) Change in the bowling as Hasan Ali replaces Amir from the Pavilion End, and his first impact is on Joe Root’s cods, an in-dipper striking the England captain’s gentleman’s agreements. God bless the humble box. He survives to dab a single, which Cook also does.
@NickMiller79 Whilst echoing Matt Potter’s 1st over sentiments re the mighty Cook, hope he doesn’t make it a double hundred as apparently they don’t count from him any more.
— Brian Withington (@BrianWithingto3) May 24, 2018
A slight variation on the concept of Root Maths, pioneered by cricket writer and social media firebrand Dave Tickner, whereby a batsman’s top score is lopped off his statistics to suit whatever argument you might have.
8th over: England 23-1 (Cook 17, Root 1) Abbas swings one in at Root, it thunks into the pads, someone in the slips appeals but that was heading down towards the new Warner Stand, and they take a leg-bye.
“I’ve met Gary Naylor,” brags Phil Sawyer. “Well, he was sat with his back to me stroking a cat and issuing instructions about trapdoors and a piranha filled pool, but I think it was him. Anyway, strange things to take to the cricket? I always take peanut butter sandwiches. It’s the only time I ever eat peanut butter sandwiches, but for some reason a test (or any cricket match) seems incomplete without them.”
7th over: England 22-1 (Cook 17, Root 1) Root off the mark with a solid push in front of point. Cook flicks another off the middle, again straight to a fielder.
LADS LADS LADS shouts this legend...
@NickMiller79 - continuing with Test Match traditions - if we haven’t all had 6 pints before 1st ball We aren’t doing it rite.
— YummyBear (@Beardo7) May 24, 2018
6th over: England 21-1 (Cook 17, Root 0) Cook nails another cover drive, but this one goes straight to a fielder along the floor. Obviously this is ludicrous fate-tempting, but he does look relatively assured so far - or at least is trying to make himself look relatively assured.
A quiz question for you: has anyone else done this...?
@NickMiller79 Just noticed on Cricinfo that Bess' first-class debut was also against Pakistan, a tour game in 2016. No idea how unusual a double that is. (He took 0-128.)
— Andrew Thomas (@andi_thomas) May 24, 2018
5th over: England 21-1 (Cook 17, Root 0) Amir inconsistent so far: two fours in a row, one from a stinking leg-stump half-volley that Cook flicks to the boundary with his eyes shut, one from a better ball just outside off that Cook half edges, half guides to third man. All runs scored in boundaries so far...until they try an absolutely ludicrous single that nearly runs out Root before he faced a ball. Babar Azam swept in from cover, flung at the stumps while on the move but it missed: had it hit, Root was shy of his ground by two or three yards.
4th over: England 12-1 (Cook 8, Root 0) And here’s England’s new No.3...
WICKET! Stoneman b Abbas 4 - England 12-1
Lovely bowling by Abbas, who looks like he was grown in a lab by scientists trying to produce the perfect bowler for early-season English seamers. Two beat Stoneman’s outside edge, then one just gets through the opener and takes out off stump: not sure it really swung that much, but the last few balls had set him up.
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3rd over: England 12-0 (Cook 8, Stoneman 4) Amir starts his second over somewhat wildly, the first ball very nearly an offside wide, the follow-up an over-compensation which Cook neatly clips to the fine leg fence. Better stuff next up though, beating Cook’s edge with the classic old half-a-bat shaper. The last ball of the over is a pretty juicy half-volley, which brings us the unusual sight of Cook launching into a glorious cover-drive, for another boundary. Good news for both there: Cook hit that brilliantly, but Amir will want him driving, looking for those edges.
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 0, Stoneman 4) Mohammad Abbas takes the ball from the Nursery End, and Stoneman leaves his first ball which dips in and takes him on the thigh. The next is pitched up, and Stoneman leans on it, sending the ball scooting out to the point fence. It’s a shortish boundary, but the surface doesn’t seem to have suffered hugely from the overnight rain.
Here’s a riff-starter from the venerable Steve Pye...
@NickMiller79 Since 1994 I've always eaten a Toblerone on the opening day of English Test match summers. I'm tucking into one now with the help of my slightly confused colleagues. Are there any other odd people like me with strange Test match habits/traditions?
— Steve Pye (@1980sSportsBlog) May 24, 2018
1st over: England 0-0 (Cook 0, Stoneman 0) Cook plays out a maiden first up, jabbing at a couple and Amir beats him once past the outside edge. Speaking of Cook, here’s Matt Potter: “Cook equals the most successive test matches today with 153, just an incredible record, testament just as much to his durability as well as his ability. Wouldn’t a Cook special daddy 100 be an appropriate way to start the summer? Still can’t believe some people want him out of the side.”
For those abroad wondering about the YouTube link for TMS, it’s here. Although you’ll obviously want to listen to them, and read us...
And we are away. The players are out, Mohammad Amir has the ball from the Pavillion End, and he’ll open up to Alastair Cook. These are glorious times.
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Something interesting to note before he trots out with the gloves, which is Sarfraz Ahmed’s keeping. In short, he’s not really been any good of late, dropping things right left and centre. Indeed, according to stats cribbed shamelessly from Cricinfo, he’s basically missing one in six catches or stumping chances. All eyes on him, not least because he isn’t really scoring runs either.
Some England-related concerns. “Have England seen what has gone on in county cricket this season?” notes David Brown. “Very brave decision to bat first as if anyone can swing the ball it will be Pakistan.” While Mesnil Man notes that “with neither Moeen, nor Woakes, that tail looks long...”
England might not always be the best at cricket, but they are usually the best at fretting about cricket.
Some pre-match reading:
Vic Marks lines up the debut of Dom Bess and the return of Joseph Buttler...
Words from Jos Buttler, on said return...
From last weekend, here’s Azhar Ali, who reckons Pakistan’s bowlers can do some damage to the England line-up...
On Gary Naylor, Neil McLean writes: “Has anyone met Gary? I’m beginning to suspect it’s a shadow organisation, similar to SPECTRE, plotting the domination of the world through cricket. 1000’s of n’er do wells operating under the name Gary Naylor.”
I have never met the great man, but I am assured he is one single, living breathing organism, with no connection to the implausibly well-funded evil underworld.
We mentioned Dan Lucas earlier: there’s going to be a cricket match in his memory in London in July, organised by his remarkable partner Elizabeth - details here:
Link to the Just Giving page is here: https://t.co/3PwYbBXOXg and I can be contacted on elizabethaubreywrites@gmail.com for more info. Lords have already donated some incredible prizes for the raffle on the day.
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubrey_writes) May 24, 2018
Joe Root explained that, while the bowling conditions look good, the pitch is dry, so that’s why he elected to bat. Which, of course, is fair enough. Sarfraz said he would’ve bowled, which of course is fair enough. Opinions!
Team news
England
Cook, Stoneman, Root (c), Malan, Bairstow (wk), Stokes, Buttler, Bess, Broad, Wood, Anderson.
Pakistan
Azhar Ali, Imam-ul-Haq, Haris Sohail, Asad Shafiq, Babar Azam, Sarfraz Ahmed (c & wk), Shadab Khan, Faheem Ashraf, Mohammad Amir, Hasan Ali, Mohammad Abbas.
England have won the toss...
...and will bat. Interesting. I would’ve bowled, for what it’s worth. Which is not too much.
“Morning Nick, Morning everybody,” traditionally greets Richard Williams. “It doesn’t get better than sending that first email of the OBO season..... and they say test cricket is dying. Forget what happened in the winter, it’s a bright blue sunny 23 degrees here in Berlin, and I could not be more in the cricketing mood. May I be first to ask for the obligatory Overseas TMS link for those of us who want to double down on their cricket commentary.”
I believe the link pops up as they go on air, but will keep an eye out.
“Seeing as he loved a test against Pakistan,” writes Simon Thomas, “actually - seeing as he loved a Test Match, a fond and warm minute of applause in memory of our much missed Guardian OBO friend, Dan Lucas.”
Damn right, Simon. A bit over a year ago we lost Dan, which is mad. He is indeed much missed.
Sounds like Mark Wood has got the nod for the last bowling spot, picked over Chris Woakes. A slight surprise given the overcast, muggy conditions perhaps? Not that Woakes is a prodigious hooper, but he certainly swings it more than Wood. Meanwhile, appropriately enough, ours and Somerset’s own Victor Marks is on the outfield to hand Dom Bess his England cap.
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Here he is! The summer can truly begin.
Bright at Lord's, shadows beginning to form on the outfield @NickMiller79. Perhaps the clouds over the Test team lifting too?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 24, 2018
Bob O‘Hara has been on, asking about the surest sign that the summer is here: “Morning! Has Gary Naylor emailed you yet?”
Actually, you know what...no. We’ll start to worry if play starts and he hasn’t been in touch.
Preamble
We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: the finest hour of English sport that isn’t sport is the hour before the first Test match of the summer. The contented anticipation, combined with the innocence of thought that this is the series or summer could be different to all of the others, is wonderful.
This summer is perhaps a more prominent example than most, with England easing into new eras: a new selector with promises of revolutionary (or at least new) thought, a new spinner, a new No.7 (which doesn’t sound especially dramatic, but it is a bit different when it’s Jos Buttler). There are still big doubts over parts of the batting line-up that we’ve doubted for some time, and still there is the looming prospect of having to find a reliable new set as the inevitability of time creeps up on Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson.
It’s perhaps appropriate that England face Pakistan, rarely the best team in the world but frequently the most interesting, and unpredictable. That they’re in something of a transitional phase, with untried bowlers and fresh young batsman, makes it all the more interesting. Their win over Ireland was more comfortable than it looked for a while, but other recent results have been patchy.
In short, it should be a brilliant series. Now we just have to trust the weather to sort itself bloody well out: London is currently weighed down by drizzle. Stick with us though, it’s going to be great.
Toss: 10.30 am BST.
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