Ben Stokes cut a relieved figure when his press conference before this third Test against New Zealand belatedly veered away from his recent absence for disciplinary reasons and into his favourite memories of Trent Bridge.
The Ashes win at this venue in 2015 was the first that came to mind, Stuart Broad’s eight for 15 and the like. Then came his recollections of the second Test against New Zealand four years ago, when Jonny Bairstow went gangbusters in the run chase and Bazball was said to have been born.
Well, if England are to win the decider and ease the crisis triggered by Stokes after Lord’s, it may well top the lot. Because at the end of a baking hot first day, New Zealand having racked up an eye-watering 361 for four with centuries for Tom Latham and Devon Conway, the hosts appeared to be in need of a miracle.
Devon Conway’s reaction
We knew the wicket would be quite nice and it was important for us to put pressure on the bowlers. I still felt a little bit out of sorts at times, so it was nice to get through those tougher periods and build a partnership with Tom.
I don’t quite know what par is. It’s disappointing we lost those two wickets at the end but hopefully we can kick on.
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Stumps
That was an admirable show of character from England, who were in a world of pain when the score was 317 for 0. They kept going and picked up four vital wickets for 44 in 12.1 overs.
New Zealand are still on top, thanks to a couple of mighty innings from Tom Latham and Devon Conway, but both teams will remember the Trent Brdge Test of 2022. New Zealand were 405 for 4 early on the second day of that match; England won by five wickets.
WICKET! New Zealand 361-4 (Nicholls c Smith b Archer 36)
England end a very tough day on a high. Nicholls jabbed at a really good delivery from Archer – the line and length were immaculate – and snicked it through to Smith.
Two wickets in two balls, and the timing of the second one means that will be stumps.
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84th over: New Zealand 361-3 (Nicholls 36, O’Rourke 0)
Bashir saved a boundary off the previous delivery with a desperate sprawling stop. That meant three runs to Nicholls rather than four, and crucially it brought Ravindra on strike. He top-edged a loose pull stroke and was easily caught by Jamie Smith, at which point the England players all charged down to fine leg to congratulate Bashir. A really nice moment for him; a horrible one from Ravindra.
WICKET! New Zealand 361-3 (Ravindra c Smith b Atkinson 7)
Gus Atkinson takes a wicket - and everybody rushes to congratulate Shoaib Bashir!
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The Saracens academy player who triggered the Ben Stokes captaincy crisis by throwing a punch at his England teammate Gus Atkinson has escaped without being disciplined.
The Guardian understands that Totoa Auvaa, a 21-year-old Samoan back-row, will not face formal disciplinary action from Saracens or the Rugby Football Union despite throwing a punch at Atkinson.
Auvaa’s punch missed Atkinson and struck an England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) security guard, who was sufficiently injured to require stitches, but opted not to report the matter to the police.
83rd over: New Zealand 354-2 (Nicholls 29, Ravindra 7) Archer moves round the wicket and forces Nicholls to play at a series of fullish, straight deliveries. Eventually Nicholls guides one into the off side for a single; that’s the only run in the last 17 balls, which supports the view that New Zealand have shut up shop for a night.
If either batter gets out before the close, they’ll be filthy. There are still hundreds of runs out there for New Zealand.
82nd over: New Zealand 353-2 (Nicholls 28, Ravindra 7) A maiden from Atkinson to Ravindra, who looks happy to play for the close and then try to fill his boots tomorrow.
“What does Rehan Ahmed have to do to get a run in the Test side?” asks James Brough. “Shoaib Bashir was picked and nurtured specifically for Australia, then never got a game. Looking at his bowling today, I can’t really see that he’s progressed in 21 games. He still has the same weakness of not keeping a consistent length.
“Meanwhile, Ahmed’s taken wickets when he’s been picked and is turning into a pretty consistent top-order batsman for Leicestershire. We’re going to be looking for an all rounder sooner rather than later when Stokes decides he’s had enough. What am I missing?”
There’s so much to like about Rehan, but IMO he’s not ready to be England’s main spinner. I think he’d be taken to the cleaners by good teams, certainly more often than Bashir. He’s only 21, though, and he’s such a smart, effervescent cricketer that he should keep improving. As you say, his ability with the bat could be really important when Stokes has gone.
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81st over: New Zealand 353-2 (Nicholls 28, Ravindra 7) Nicholls is fine to continue.
80.3 overs: New Zealand 353-2 (Nicholls 28, Ravindra 7) Archer starts with a poor delivery to Nicholls that is pulled easily round the corner for four. A more accurate short ball beats Nicholls for pace and clonks him on the side of the helmet. There’s a break in play while Nicholls undertakes a concussion check.
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80th over: New Zealand 349-2 (Nicholls 24, Ravindra 7) A ball from Atkinson brushes Nicholls’ thigh and is caught acrobatically down the leg side by Smith. England consider a review for caught behind before wisely deciding against it.
The second new ball is available. England have taken it straight away.
79th over: New Zealand 348-2 (Nicholls 23, Ravindra 7) Root hurries through an over to hasten the availability of the second new ball.
78th over: New Zealand 346-2 (Nicholls 22, Ravindra 6) Tongue felt his hamstring at the end of his last over and has been replaced by Atkinson. The commentators think it is probably cramp rather than anything more serious.
A quiet over, three from it.
77th over: New Zealand 343-2 (Nicholls 20, Ravindra 5) Nicholls races into the twenties with a precise pull round the corner off Archer. Just over half an hour to play tonight, so England will have the chance to take the new ball.
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76th over: New Zealand 336-2 (Nicholls 15, Ravindra 4) Root’s work is done with the ball: 2-0-5-1. England go back to Tongue, whose first ball is driven handsomely to the cover boundary by Nicholls.
Tongue pulls his length back and beats Nicholls later in the over.
75th over: New Zealand 332-2 (Nicholls 10, Ravindra 4) Henry Nicholls hits successive boundaries off the returning Jofra Archer, an aerial flick wide of leg slip and a controlled pull stroke.
Archer ends the over with a fine delivery that seams past Ravindra’s outside edge.
74th over: New Zealand 323-2 (Nicholls 1, Ravindra 4) Rachin Ravindra gets off the mark with a graceful cover drive for four.
No wickets in 72 overs, then two in seven balls. Conway smashed Root high towards long-on, where the substitute Matthew Fisher ran into take a really well-judged catch. Conway goes for a coruscating 157 that included 22 fours and three sixes.
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WICKET! New Zealand 319-2 (Conway c sub b Root 157)
New Zealand are falling apart!
73rd over: New Zealand 319-1 (Conway 157, Nicholls 1) Latham will feel he’s left a few runs out there, which I appreciate is an odd thing to say about a guy who has scored 151. He shouted “Nooo!” after edging the ball, a bit like Eoin Morgan when he was dismissed in the 2019 World Cup final.
Seven years ago. Really?
“Ancient tradition revived there, England taking a wicket...” chirps James Brough.
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WICKET! New Zealand 317-1 (Latham c Smith b Stokes 151)
Ben Stokes makes the breakthrough! Latham tried to dab a length ball outside off stumps and snicked it through to the keeper. Stokes roars with a combination of relief and delight. One down, nine to go!
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72nd over: New Zealand 317-0 (Latham 151, Conway 156) The highest opening partnership against England – and in England – is 338 at Edgbaston in 2003, Graeme Smith and Herschelle Gibbs.
Latham and Conway should break that. They might break the overall record, 415 between Neil McKenzie and Graeme Bloody Smith against Bangladesh in 2008.
As an aside, Graeme Smith is so underrated as a cricketer and a captain.
71st over: New Zealand 315-0 (Latham 150, Conway 155) Stokes returns for a bit of old-ball toil. England look pretty flat now – how could you not be when the opposition are a gazillion without loss – and Latham takes a quick single to reach a high-class 150: 211 balls, 15 fours. His management of risk has been exemplary.
70th over: New Zealand 307-0 (Latham 148, Conway 153) England have never saved a Test under Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum. They’ve had only two draws, both at Old Trafford – the Ashes deluge in 2023 and India’s rearguard last year. It’ll be a helluva plot twist if they keep Bazball alive by grinding out a draw in this game.
69th over: New Zealand 307-0 (Latham 147, Conway 150) Joe Root becomes England’s seventh bowler in this innings. Conway pushes him down the ground for a single to move to 150 from 210 balls; since reaching three figures he is scoring at more than a run a ball.
68th over: New Zealand 306-0 (Latham 147, Conway 149) Conway gets lucky when a hack at the new bowler Bethell flies over Brook at slip. A more controlled single brings up the 300 partnership, then Latham reverse-sweeps decisively for four.
New Zealand only made 251 runs in the entire Lord’s Test; now they’re 306 for 0.
“I may be clutching at straws,” says Tom Van der Gucht, “but what’s it Boycott used to say about adding three quick wickets to any total? Get Harry Brook on to burgle some and we’ll be laughing. Medium pacers were always the hardest to put away on Stick Cricket.”
May.
67th over: New Zealand 296-0 (Latham 141, Conway 145)
66th over: New Zealand 292-0 (Latham 138, Conway 144) A surprise length ball from Atkinson is driven majestically for four by Latham. His innings has been almost flawless.
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There have been four instances of England failing to take a wicket in a full day of Test cricket, and here they jolly well are.
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Garry Sobers and Frank Worrell (West Indies, Barbados, 1959-60)
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Easton McMorris, Garry Sobers and Seymour Nurse (West Indies, Jamaica, 1959-60)
McMorris retired hurt -
Gundappa Viswanath and Yashpal Sharma (India, Chennai, 1981-82)
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Geoff Marsh and Mark Taylor (Australia, Trent Bridge, 1989)
Drinks
65th over: New Zealand 288-0 (Latham 134, Conway 144) Conway thumps Bashir down the ground for this third six, all of them in the last six overs. England are in so much trouble that there’s barely even scope for gallows humour. This really could be the end.
Latham dropped on 129
64th over: New Zealand 282-0 (Latham 134, Conway 138) Latham, trying to pull yet another short ball, gloves Atkinson down the leg side and is dropped badly by Jamie Smith. Oof, that will sting because it was a routine chance.
Latham pulls four more to make this New Zealand’s highest partnership for any wicket against England. Runs are flowing but England are at least threatening to take a wicket with this short-ball ploy. Atkinson’s over ends with a pull from Conway that teases Bethell before dropping short.
63rd over: New Zealand 276-0 (Latham 129, Conway 137) In fact Bashir has changed ends again. He bowled accurately this morning but is starting to lose control. A short ball is larruped for four by Latham.
62nd over: New Zealand 268-0 (Latham 122, Conway 136) Atkinson replaces Bashir, who was starting to take some hammer from Conway in particular. Conway hooks brilliantly for four, expertly bisecting the two deep fielders.
Romeo points out that this is New Zealand’s highest partnership for any wicket in a Test in England. It’ll soon be their highest against England too: the current is 276 by the brilliant Stewie Dempster and Jackie Mills in 1930.
61st over: New Zealand 262-0 (Latham 121, Conway 131) Conway hooks Tongue for his second six in as many overs. He’s spent most of the series fighting for every single run but there’s a carefree air to his innings now. He pulls another short ball just wide of Duckett, diving to his right at short midwicket, and then there’s a break in play while the umpires change the ball. It’s been whacked out of shape.
Latham pulls the replacement smoothly round the corner for four. But Tongue is causing a few problems and the over ends with a top-edge that falls short of Bethell at fine leg.
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60th over: New Zealand 249-0 (Latham 115, Conway 124) Conway charges Bashir and smokes a full toss over midwicket for six. England consider a review when the ball deflects to slip via the pad, but there was no inside-edge and Stokes decides against it. Conway ends the over with another boundary.
“Brendon McCullum must be despairing of his countrymen here,” says David Hopkins. “Calmly taking advantage of favourable conditions to bat themselves into a commanding lead would never happen on his watch. By now they should be at least four down through miscued scoop shots or similar macho posturing.”
Macho posturing eh.
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59th over: New Zealand 237-0 (Latham 115, Conway 112) Time for some short stuff from Josh Tongue. In truth it’s a surprise that England waited nearly 60 overs before trying it. A decent first over includes a clothed pull from Conway that lands short of the man at cow corner.
This is now the highest opening partnership against England since 2003, when What’s-His-Name and Herschelle Gibbs slapped a decent England attack – Anderson, Gough, Flintoff, Harmison, Giles, Butcher – all round Edgbaston.
“Sitting here in 31C temperatures with a whisky listening to an appropriate tune,” chirps Matthew Lawrenson.
58th over: New Zealand 233-0 (Latham 112, Conway 111) A long hop from Bashir is violated through midwicket for four by Conway. England are in a world of trouble here.
57th over: New Zealand 228-0 (Latham 111, Conway 107) Tongue replaces Bethell, whose brief introduction was to facilitate a change of ends. An inswinger is flicked extravagantly over square leg for four by Conway, who is starting to play with the freedom of old. That’s the last thing England need.
“If info on Old Trafford 1976 is what you’re after. you know where to come,” writes our old friend Mike Selvey. “Btw Close faced every single ball from Holding in that 80 minutes. He was 1 not out at the close. JE wasn’t battered.”
Selve is too modest to remind us that, earlier in that game, he ran through West Indies’ top order.
Devon Conway's eighth Test century!
56th over: New Zealand 223-0 (Latham 110, Conway 103) Bashir has changed ends after tea. Conway pumps him over mid-on for four to move to 99, then square drives a classy boundary to reach his eighth Test hundred.
Nothing will top the first, a double on debut at Lord’s, but Conway will cherish this innings because he has looked out of form all series.
“Despite the conditions, the number of runs scored must be roughly par for a Test session,” says John Starbuck. “300 or so at the end of the day’s play is pretty much what we used to expect. Granted, no wickets, but that’s down mainly to the heat, the ground and bad luck, all of which applies to everyone at some time. Rationality, be my friend.”
Friend? I thought it got cancelled in 2016.
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55th over: New Zealand 215-0 (Latham 110, Conway 95) Jacob Bethell comes on after tea for his first bowl of the match. He starts with a full toss but then beats Conway with consecutive deliveries. Small sample size but Bethell’s bowling average of 29.87 is the best of any England spinner since… Scott Borthwick.
“This pitch is appalling,” writes Phil Harrison. “Every bit as bad as the Lord’s one. Arguably worse as Lord’s was absolutely fair to both teams - it misbehaved throughout. This one puts way too much premium on winning the toss - it did nothing, even with the new ball. The team bowling first haven’t really had a chance.”
Didn’t we say something similar when Pakistan piled up 556 at Multan in 2024?
Tea
54th over: New Zealand 213-0 (Latham 109, Conway 94) Atkinson saves two runs with a good stop on the third boundary. Latham squirts Tongue for a single to conclude another unblemished session for New Zealand. They’ll be wary of their last visit to Trent Bridge, when they were 405 for 4 in their first innings and still took a hammering, but right now they are in a glorious position.
“I’m following you not the game so keen to know whether you reckon this pitch is as bad, in a different way, to the one at Lord’s or whether it will give us a proper five-day game,” wonders Jeremy Smith. “I guess we’ll only know after England bat, if we ever get to that point...”
With the caveat that nobody knows anything, I suspect it will turn as the match progresses, particularly in this heat. I’d say a bore draw is unlikely, and if I had a farm I’d be tempted to put it on Mitch Santner winning player of the match.
53rd over: New Zealand 208-0 (Latham 105, Conway 93) The aforementioned Trent Bridge Test of 1989 was the last time England spent an entire day in the field without taking a wicket. Stokes is trying everything to change that – this is his sixth over on the bounce, so he’s approaching the halfway point of his second spell.
Given the subcontinental nature of conditions, England really could have done with Ollie Robinson (2022-23 version). I guess they were worried about the 2023-24 version turning up.
52nd over: New Zealand 206-0 (Latham 104, Conway 92) Tongue replaces Bashir and bowls a hostile maiden to Latham, including a couple of inside-edges onto the pad. The first threatened to loop to gully before eventually falling short.
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Tom Latham's 17th Test hundred!
51st over: New Zealand 206-0 (Latham 104, Conway 92) Latham slashes Stokes over gully for four to bring up the 200 opening partnership. He flicks the next ball to the fine leg boundary to reach a ruthless, tone-setting hundred from just 149 balls.
The concept of a captain’s innings usually evokes over-my-dead-body defiance – Allan Border, Athers at Jo’burg – but in the 21st century that isn’t necessarily the case. Latham’s strike rate is just under 70 and he has put New Zealand in an outstanding position.
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50th over: New Zealand 197-0 (Latham 95, Conway 92) “I was hoping to go to Trent Bridge tomorrow but East Midlands Railway have cancelled half the trains,” writes Emma John. “Given the score I find that, for once, I’m quite grateful to the train company…”
49th over: New Zealand 193-0 (Latham 95, Conway 88) No luck for Stokes, who snakes a good delivery past Latham’s outside edge. Latham is closing in on his 17th Test century, which would put him level with the mighty Martin Crowe. Only Kane Williamson (33) and Ross Taylor (19) have scored more for New Zealand.
48th over: New Zealand 189-0 (Latham 92, Conway 87) Bashir beats Latham with a nice delivery, bowled deliberately at about 20mph. An overzealous misfield from Stokes at mid-off gives Latham three runs.
Incidentally a couple of deliveries bowled by Stokes have already gone through the top, which is a) reasonably ominous for England and b) very encouraging for Mitchell Santner.
47th over: New Zealand 186-0 (Latham 89, Conway 87) More swing for Stokes, orthodox not reverse. It makes you wonder whether England should bring on Harry Brook at the other end.
Stokes is bowling a terrific spell, trying everything to extract blood from the stone, and has an LBW appeal against Lathan turned down. He was bowling over the wicket so it almost certainly pitched outside leg.
46th over: New Zealand 185-0 (Latham 88, Conway 87) Bashir is scrunched through mid-on for four by Conway, who is starting to resemble the guy who took England to the cleaners in his debut Test series five years ago.
“Of course the good news,” writes Michael Meagher, “is that Joe Root will overtake Sachin Tendulkar during England’s first innings …”
45th over: New Zealand 176-0 (Latham 87, Conway 83) A lifting delivery from Stokes is almost dragged onto the stumps by Latham. He jumped onto the back foot and deflected the ball just past off stump.
Stokes is getting a hint of swing, maybe even a soupçon, and looks threatening. His overall record on this ground is modest but he swung Australia to defeat with a forgotten six-for in 2015. It’s forgotten because Daniel’s favourite meeting time occurred in the first innings.
44th over: New Zealand 176-0 (Latham 84, Conway 72) Conway drives Bashir gunbarrel striaght for four to move into the eighties. He’s had a really tough couple of months but is playing fluently now.
Since you asked, the last time England drew a series decider was Matt Prior’s match in New Zealand in 2012-13. The last time they did so at home was against India at The Oval in 2002, when Michael Vaughan and Rahul Dravid made huge centuries and Ms Dynamite was in the top five of the hit parade.
43rd over: New Zealand 170-0 (Latham 82, Conway 77) Stokes replaces Archer and starts with an accurate over, one from it.
“If it gets gruesomely hot and the players are removed from the field, do you think Sky will put on highlights of the 1976 Old Trafford Test v the West Indies which will be 50 years ago in a couple of weeks?” writes Matthew Lawrenson. “The battering Close and Edrich took was less one-sided than this.”
That’s a nice line, but the pedant in me isn’t having it. In this game, New Zealand are cruising on a flat deck; in 1976, some poor old quadragenarian was controlling 95mph+ bumpers on the chest like a centre-back.
42nd over: New Zealand 169-0 (Latham 82, Conway 77) Conway unwittingly takes one hand off the bat while miscuing a drive off Bashir. But when Bashir drops fractionally short, Conway steers an accomplished boundary past backward point.
The Fear, Rob,” writes Gary Naylor. “The Fear.”
The sound of loneliness turned up to ten?
Thanks Daniel, hello everyone. Did you know, of course you knew, there’s been only one 200+ opening partnership against England in the last 15 years. It came, oddly enough, in one of England’s finest victories, the miracle of Rawalpindi in 2022-23.
Righto, my watch is over; here’s the great Rob Smyth to coax you through England’s spellbinding comeback.
41st over: New Zealand 164-0 (Latham 81, Conway 73) Oh my days, remember earlier when England burned a review they must’ve felt wasn’t out for fear of not reviewing and it being out? Well, that one last over, when I said Conway edged on to his pad because I actually heard Jamie Smith saying so? Er, it was bat first and, had they gone upstairs, it would’ve been gone. There’ll be some nausea in those England intestines when they find out, and to compound the sickness they don’t even know is in the post, Latham opens the face to earn four through third, then a single and a two follow – though Archer is finding some rhythm. And that is drinks…
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40th over: New Zealand 157-0 (Latham 76, Conway 71) We’re shown footage of Broad’s memorable day at Trent Bridge in 2015; it can’t just be me who, when scheduling meetings at 8.15 or, on being asked for the time when it’s 8.15, replies with “Stuart Broad”. Latham nurdles a single, then Conway edges on to his pad, and this is bleak stuff for England; it’s surely time for a 94-over spell from the captain.
39th over: New Zealand 156-0 (Latham 75, Conway 71) Conway tries to drive and instead squirts away on the on side; they run one, raising the fifty partnership. Then, after a no-ball, Latham jams down the bat, face open, to redirect through third man for four; that’s a really clever shot and tells us he’s feeling himself.
38th over: New Zealand 149-0 (Latham 70, Conway 70) Three dots, then Bashir flings one down the leg side, Latham can’t get to it and nor can smith, so it whooshes away for four byes; er, maiden.
37th over: New Zealand 145-0 (Latham 70, Conway 70) Latham edges for one, then Smith does really well to save leg-side byes. What can Stokes come up with to winkle a wicket? Well, Bashir is coming back on, at the Radcliffe Road End, rather than the SJB End; at the we shall see.
“Your comment about Bairstow being a great mate reminded me of this by Woody, returns Sushant Kshirsagar.
36th over: New Zealand 144-0 (Latham 69, Conway 70) I meant to mention that, before Archer’s over, Conway took some treatment to his hamstring, and I don’t suppose it’s beyond the realms that cramp is more potent than England’s attack. And, as I type, following a two and a one, Conway opens the face to drive Atkinson through the covers for four.
35th over: New Zealand 137-0 (Latham 66, Conway 66) I guess Stokes plans to use his bowlers in short spells; Archer replaces Tongue as Broad speculates that, later in the match, we might see some reverse swing. Which won’t be much help if England can’t take wickets now and, so far they can’t, Conway flicking a single to backward square before Bethell fumbles and they steal another as he bashes the turf. A bit of hope from the final delivery, though, Archer finding late away-movement to beats Conway’s dangled edge.
34th over: New Zealand 135-0 (Latham 65, Conway 65) After two dots, Atkinson goes around to Latham and he’s kicking up decent pace, high 80s and low 90s, but can he find the breakthrough? He cannot, five dots followed by a paddle to Archer on the cover fence; they run two.
33rd over: New Zealand 133-0 (Latham 63, Conway 65) Latham forces behind square for one, then Conway doesn’t get enough of a drive, and it’s been a slow start to the afternoon.
32nd over: New Zealand 132-0 (Latham 62, Conway 61) Five dots, but then Atkinson is too straight, so Latham twizzles into the on side and they run one.
“I seem to be the only person who has seen Hamilton who finds it insufferable/cringe,” admits Niall Mullen, “like a teacher trying to make history cool by turning his baseball cap backwards and sitting on his chair AC Slater style: ‘You know kids, in many ways, Charles Dickens was the original Chuck D.’”
I absolutely loved and love it, amazing energy, great wordplay, moving themes and banging tunes. This pod deconstructing Satisfied is brilliant.
31st over: New Zealand 131-0 (Latham 61, Conway 61) A thick outside edge and Conway has four more through the slips … from a no ball. So Tongue has to bowl an extra delivery and, when he hangs it outside off, Conway takes a step, bending his knee, and clatters four through cover. That, though, is the line to bowl, reckons Sanga.
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
Gosh, that swung even more than I thought, and later, but you can tell with the naked eye it’s missing leg stump.
31st over: New Zealand 121-0 (Latham 61, Conway 57) Tongue flings down an inswinging yorker, terrific delivery and beats Conway, rapping the pad; England appeal, nothing doing, and they review. I think it’s missing, and the review is because on a day like today, they can’t have a situation where they miss a wicket more than they can’t waste an opportunity to go upstairs.
‘The most phonaesthetic male cricketer’s name is Zaheer Abbas (although the most phonaesthetic surname is obviously Lara),” reckons Paul Griffin. “The most phonaesthetic fielding position is wicket keeper. No further correspondence will be entered into, unless we need a phonaesthetic World XI".”
30th over: New Zealand 120-0 (Latham 61, Conway 56) Atkinson, probably the pick of the bowlers this morning for the little that’s worth, opens with a full toss and Conway doesn’t miss out, lashing a cover-drive for four. In comms, Sanga recalls the 2006 match at this ground against Sri Lanka in which Murali took eightfer; I remember KP telling me about his shock on turning up to find the groundsman had prepared a dustbowl. Anyhow, Atkinson comes back well after that disappointing start, ceding just a single from the remaining five deliveries, but there’s no sense of pressure building, never mind a wicket coming.
29th over: New Zealand 115-0 (Latham 61, Conway 51) Tongue opens up after lunch and when Conway clouts his second ball through third man for four, the die feels cast; if he and the England bowlers have any sense, they’ll have called Jules Winfield to arrange a close-of-play foot massage. Four singles follow, the first raising Conway’s fifty, and we can’t be far away from a barrage of bouncers.
“Is it too early to start mentioning the 1989 Ashes Test at Trent Bridge?” wonders Steven Pye. “Australia 301/0 at close of play on day one. I haven’t seen this pitch yet, but it sounds as flat as a pancake, so naturally I’m now having flashbacks to the nightmare of Taylor and Marsh.”
I remember it well, Athers and Devon Malcolm’s debuts, Nick Cook in the XI; England lost by an innings and 180.
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Righto, back to it we go.
Lunchtime email: “Since we are at Bazball’s spiritual home, are we allowed to to reminisce about the dearly departed?” wonders Nigam Nuggehalli. “Can we say Bazball is dead but its spirit is alive? I once wrote an entire newspaper column on Bazball in the Indian Express; an excerpt is provided below. Do your readers believe that these thoughts are hopelessly dated:
‘The Collins dictionary defines Bazball as a “style of cricket in which the batting side attempts to gain the initiative by playing in a highly aggressive manner”. This describes the phenomenon while also missing its point completely. The aggression is only a symptom.
Bazball has two elements, neither of which are surprising. It encourages people to play without fear. But that’s not the only thing. It also encourages people to immerse themselves in and enjoy their work. Now I don’t know about you but I find both of these very difficult to manage. I want to enjoy my work and work without fear but many things get in my way: the demands of publications, the tedium of marking, and the treadmill of the timetable. I am sure you have your litany of discomforts.
But I have not even come to the most remarkable thing about Bazball, which is that it has recognised a critical fact about our agency: one can’t enjoy one’s work and work without fear unless there is a collective approach to this issue. A person cannot just get up one morning and learn to manage his life without fear. It involves a cultural shift, a community and most importantly, leadership. I said this is remarkable but its also a bit of a tragedy. I think we would rather imagine pulling ourselves with our bootstraps and leading our lives fearlessly. The tragedy is that we need a nurturing community to do so, and the presence of such a community is often just a matter of fortune. It happened to the English cricket team but such environments are more propitious than planned.”
I can’t pretend I wasn’t an early acolyte for similar reasons. Earlier, I joked that it was a way of life, but also, I wasn’t exactly joking: we can all use a reminder to take back ourselves and take attacking options. Changing something as resistant as Test cricket is also praiseworthy; we just got a little lost.
I’m off for a lie in the garden; I’ll be back in 30 or so, and until then and, indeed, thereafter, you can chill with Tom Davies, here:
28th over: New Zealand 108-0 (Latham 60, Conway 45) Conway follows a short one, hooking around the corner for one then, after two dots, Latham collars another, taking four to square leg, and that is lunch. It’s been a pleasant morning for NZ, and promises to be a delightful afternoon; England have a problem.
27th over: New Zealand 105-0 (Latham 56, Conway 44) This’ll be the penultimate over afore lunch and Bashir proves nicely, keeping it pretty straight and full; a single to each batter keeps the scoreboard moving.
26th over: New Zealand 101-0 (Latham 55, Conway 43) Stokes is settling into his discomfort, sending down five dots – the last of them from around. He stays there, but drops short, and Conway shmeisses him to the point fence via cut, raising NZ’s hundred in the process.
“Arguably the ultimate, at least in one sense, phonaesthetic word: hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia,” writes Iain Pearson, “the fear of long words. I understand that doubling the second last ‘p’ is also an acceptable spelling.”
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25th over: New Zealand 97-0 (Latham 55, Conway 38) Another Bashir over, more slow accumulation, this time by way of three singles, one to Latham and two to Conway.
Though Stephen Sondheim is usually cited as the cleverest lyricist in musical theatre,” says Gary Naylor. there are so many more who understand the feel of individual words and the cadences of them strung together and backed by a rhythm. That so many grew up with English as an additional language in the household surely played a part in their cherishing of the language’s possibilities. Here’s Oscar Hammerstein II at his considerable best.”
I love this note Sondheim writes to Lin-Manuel Miranda, having seen a draft of Hamilton.
24th over: New Zealand 94-0 (Latham 54, Conway 37) Latham drives towards the point fence, they run two, and that’s his 50; he celebrates by playing and missing, then going hard at a short, wide one that’s top-edged over the cordon for four. My knees are aching at the mere thought of what the England bowlers are going to experience today.
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23rd over: New Zealand 88-0 (Latham 48, Conway 37) More singles taken off Bashir, three of them, and he’s just about holding an end down, his seven overs conceding 25. Conway, though, will be vexed not to have splattered the final delivery of this over, a full toss that deserved punishment.
“My hunch is that
I suspect there’s probably a bit of visual projection going on, because there’s a relatively unusual cluster of consonants -
By the way - most forms of evolutionary psychology, & I’d lump evolutionary lingustics in there, are pseudo-science. They begin by cherry-picking examples, to fit a pre-established hypothesis, & then, lo and behold, the hypothesis drawn from the examples appears to be confirmed by the examples! Counterfactuals, by way of contrast to the methods of genuine science, are rarely taken into account. All of this points to why Saussure is so important - he developed a genuinely scientific approach to the study of language!”
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22nd over: New Zealand 85-0 (Latham 46, Conway 36) Latham bumps two to cover then, after three singles, a leg-stump half-volley is flicked to the midwicket fence by Conway. I wonder if Stokes moving that slip out before the ball went directly to the vacated area will become this match’s motif.
21st over: New Zealand 76-0 (Latham 42, Conway 31) Other … phonaesthetic words: gimp, snide, arrogant, drunk, irregular. Otherwise, are NZ starting to milk Bashir? He’s now bowled six overs – that can’t’ve happened often, a spinner on for a proper spell so early in a day’s play. And I get it, he needs to feel part of the match, but I wonder if England will regret not letting the quicks use the new ball to its fullest extent, because he’s not threatening a wicket and there’ll be plenty of time for that this afternoon. Six off the over, a two and a one to each batter.
20th over: New Zealand 70-0 (Latham 39, Conway 28) It’d be just like Stokes to finagle a first-over wicket and he’s on the money immediately, Latham edging and scabbing one. But then Conway lasers a drive to the fence at cover. the over ceding six.
“Now this is why I love the Guardian OBO!” says Victor Manley. Early doors chat about the structure of words. My favourite phonaesthetic word (don’t pretend like you don’t have one), is ‘bicycle’ which both suggests momentum and a certain clicky machine unreliability. PLUS, as if that weren’t enough, the ‘cyc’ element kinda looks like a bike! What a world, eh?
Just to make it more crickety, the most famous word which looks like what is, is ‘bed’. As in ‘this pitch is a rotten feather bed’”.
That reminds me of a gag about the laziest letter in the alphabet – e because it’s always in bed. It’s the way I tell em.
19th over: New Zealand 64-0 (Latham 38, Conway 23) Bashir sends down four dots, then Latham pushes two to cover and adds a single to midwicket; cheers indicate that, next up, we’ll have an over form Ben Stokes.
“On the subject of words that do what they describe,” says Matt Dony, “I know perfectly well that ‘panicked’ is the correct spelling, but that K has never, ever looked right to me. Which has meant I’ve had a slight panic whenever I’ve had to include the word in any official reports I’ve had to write. (Fortunately, this is less of an issue in my current job than previous ones. Incident -eporting may well involve recording a panicked decision. Selling coffee, less so.) I wonder how often that word has been used when debriefing an England team selection?”
I know what you mean, but paniced sounds like sounds like a stupor into which one might fall after scarfing too many fried items.
18th over: New Zealand 61-0 (Latham 35, Conway 23) Latham takes a single down the ground and Sanga joins the commentary; gosh, I bet England are glad he’s not out in the middle, because this looks like the kind of track on which he and Mahela would put on 83,452. Anyhow, Conway then tries to follow a leg-side delivery, almost strangling himself, but slow accumulation looks to be the NZ plan.
17th over: New Zealand 60-0 (Latham 34, Conway 23) Four singles from this latest Bashir over, and he’s doing an OK job of keeping it tight.
“Positively imperial,” says Jim Frayling of Stokes’ new barnet. ‘Some might say Augustine, or indeed Octavian. It’ll be interesting to see if he goes on to destroy the triumvirate regime managing England men’s cricket. Et tu Bob?”
It’s a bit Mr Logic, for mine.
16th over: New Zealand 56-0 (Latham 32, Conway 21) I wonder what kind of exhibition masochism Ben Stokes will treat us to today; I imagine he’ll wait until NZ have more runs and it’s even hotter, but I reckon nine overs into the heat. Tongue goes around to Latham, and it occurs to me that the Barmy Army trumpeter needs to learn the below – from an album I was disappointed to discover contained only four bangers. Goodness me, I’d take that now. Anyhow, five more dots are followed by a Latham drive for two, during which time we learn Stokes is warming up.
15th over: New Zealand 54-0 (Latham 30, Conway 21) Bashir continues to one slip and a short leg; after four dots, Conway has a drive and almost edges on; I think Jamie Smith then calls him Basheroo. Gulp. A further dot follows, and that’s a third maiden in four overs.;Andy Flower will be pleased. Yes, relatively speaking and for him.
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14th over: New Zealand 54-0 (Latham 30, Conway 21) Four dots from Tongue but he’s spraying it a bit – he’s not settled into a line yet. His final ball, though, isn’t bad, full, straight and into the thigh-pad; he completes a second maiden and that is drinks.
“Although there will be others better qualified to opine, I think with the word ‘awkwardly’ we’re in visual onomatopoeia country - the word both looks and pronounces awkwardly,” says Brian Withington. “I’m told that iconicity or phonaesthesia might apply, where the appearance or sound of a word is suggestive of its meaning.
Not to be confused with true onomatopoeia of course, and the punchline of the only linguistic joke I know - two friends get separated at a funfair, and the one perched at the top of the helter skelter shouts down to his mate ‘I’m on a mat up here’. It’s quite literally (or is that phonetically?) the way I tell ‘em.”
I’ve just had a quick glance at the LRB piece; it’s a long time since I’ve pondered the boy Saussure. He was so confident he was right.
13th over: New Zealand 54-0 (Latham 30, Conway 21) There’s a modicum of turn for Bashir; if he’s getting that now, he’ll fancy something more helpful later. Latham forces to cover for a single, then Conway carves two to deep cover, and England could use a wicket.
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12th over: New Zealand 51-0 (Latham 29, Conway 19) Bashir bowled a decent over there, but it still went for six; this is a better one from Tongue, and the first maiden of the day.
11th over: New Zealand 51-0 (Latham 29, Conway 19) Bashir is handed an early bowl, and will NZ look to get after him? If he can hold down an end, the quicks can rotate from the other, but if he’s whacked out of the attack, England have a massive problem. And he starts well, finding a challenging full length, then Conway drives … doesn’t get all of it … and, at short extra, Root can only impart finger to ball. They run their second single of the over, then Latham sweeps for four, and that’s the fifty partnership; this pitch looks a belter.
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10th over: New Zealand 45-0 (Latham 24, Conway 18) Tongue replaces Archer and his first ball it over-pitched, Latham flicking to the midwicket fence for four. Oh, and two balls later he’s sending a half-volley at leg-peg; again, remonstration is swift and just, the ball zipping along the carpet for four more through the same area. England are going to need something from Tongue in this match; a leg-bye follows.
And this is one of the many reasons I love this thing of ours; here’s Tim Sanders: “Regarding your 5th over ‘awkward’ question,” he beings, “the terms ‘iconic’ or ‘sound-symbolic’ words are used for words that aren’t full-on onomatapaeic, but aren’t completely arbitrary either. There was a fascinating article about it in the London Review of Books a few weeks ago. The idea goes back to Socrates, that words come to be used socially because they sound and feel right; or even look right when spoken.”
9th over: New Zealand 36-0 (Latham 16, Conway 18) Latham again goes after a wide one, slicing three to backward point, then a similar shot from Conway, also uppish, earns four. NZ will be satisfied with their start.
“I am baffled by the omission of Ollie Robinson here,” writes Steve Hudson. “If we assume they are right to have concerns that he isn’t fit enough to perform in difficult conditions like these, you have to wonder why they recalled him in the first place, given they dropped him previously for not being fit enough.
It has the whiff of the muddled thinking we saw last winter (e.g. whether to stick or twist with regards to Bazball batting; taking Shoaib as the only specialist spinner then not being confident enough in him to pick him even once).
I’ve always rated Ollie R - a modern day Angus Fraser. But we can’t afford to pick a bowler who only plays when the conditions suit him.”
Stokes was saying to the contrary when trying to avoid explaining why Robinson was left out, and I think it’s fair to vary the attack according to conditions. But I agree a bowler you do’t trust to get through a match if it’s too hot is a problem, even if we can’t be 100% certain that’s what this is.
8th over: New Zealand 29-0 (Latham 13, Conway 14) Stuart Broad was 40 yesterday; despite dressing like he’s 20 years older than that, he looks invigoratingly fresh-faced. Find out what moisturiser he uses and slap on a vat of it every morning. Meantime, Archer eases through another over, a single to Conway and a no ball coming from it.
“It’s BazBall only when YJB plays, else it’s just ultra-positive cricket,” advises Sushant Kshirsagar; yup, I can get on board with that. Bairstow took a while to grow on me, but the more I watched and listened to him, the more I could tell he’s the best mate anyone has ever had,
7th over: New Zealand 26-0 (Latham 12, Conway 13) We see footage from earlier of Geoff Thorpe ringing the bell today – he does so lustily. Atkinson then goes back over to Conway, five dots followed by a dab into the off-side and a single.
6th over: New Zealand 25-0 (Latham 12, Conway 12) What do we think of Ben Stokes’ barnet, by the way? I must say I preferred the mane. Anyhow, England move third slip to second gully, next ball Archer persuades Latham to edge … and I don’t think I need to complete that sentence. Yes, it flies to directly to the vacated area, through it as Brook fruitlessly hurls himself at it, and to the fence for four. Cricket is nothing if not a practical joker and, credit where it’s due, that had me laughing cruelly.
5th over: New Zealand 21-0 (Latham 8, Conway 12) Latham turns into the leg side, Archer in pursuit, and as they run three, he flicks the ball back then hurdles the awkwardly-placed hoarding. Is is possible, by the way, that the word “awkwardly” looks awkward, and is there a name for that kind of thing that isn’t nominative determinism or confirmation bias? Anyhow, Atkinson again offers width and again, Conway nails four through cover; the batters feel confident driving; are chasing to make sure they can drive. There’s going to be a fair litrage of water, salt and urea shed today.
4th over: New Zealand 14-0 (Latham 5, Conway 8) What a day this is to be at the Test. I was at Lord’s when it was like this last summer, and sometime in the afternoon session, a tiny cloud blocked the sun for perhaps 30 seconds; everyone cheered. I think, actually, I’ve caught myself trying to talk myself into fetching a Fruit-Pastille ice lolly but I’m going to stay strong; after a leg bye,Archer is too full and floaty, Conway stretching as the ball moves away to lash a second four through cover.
3rd over: New Zealand 9-0 (Latham 5, Conway 4) Atkinson goes around the wicket to the left-handed Conway; he’s finding decent pace and bounce. But his last delivery offers a bit of width and Conway doesn’t need asking twice, flowing a drive through the covers for four.
2nd over: New Zealand 5-0 (Latham 5, Conway 0) Archer, who bowled well at the Oval, begins, and when Bashir dives over one at mid-off, Latham adds two … then two more by running into the ground and wide of gully. Those are the only runs from the over, during which Simon Doull relates the tragic but inspiring story of Bob Blair, in whose memory the NZ team are wearing black armbands.
1st over: New Zealand 1-0 (Latham 1, Conway 0) I don’t imagine NZ will be in any hurry here – they know that if they see off the new ball, they can book in for full board, with the potential of a buffet after tea as the the bowlers tire. After two dots, Latham turns off the pads for one, then England add a slip for Conway – there are now three and a gully – and a bit of lift has him taking a hand off the bat. Then, to end the over, its best delivery, hitting the back leg and there’s a shout … but it looked to be going over, and when the umpire says no, there’s no serious discussion of reviewing.
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Gus Atkinson has the ball; I fear a long day, or two, for him and the rest of the England attack. Play…
Anthem time…
Trent Bridge is, of course, the spiritual home of the dear departed Bazball; in 2022, England, led by Jonny Bairstow, flayed the Black Caps, and a way of life was born.
“No Robinson and not even a comment,” says Andrew Moreman. “Honestly, Jofra gets allowed to stay at the IPL, time off after, support with every injury, brought straight in. Every niggle Robinson has gets treated like a basic character flaw. His face just doesn’t fit with, what we see now, is a flawed management team.
I think Robinso agrees he’s not made it easy for them or for himself. I was surprised he was left out and, as per the below, Stokes went around the houses explaining why – I don’t think he wanted to explicitly say they don’t fancy his fitness given the heat. But assuming that’s the reason, I think we can be sure it’s not ill founded.
Teams
England: 1 Emilio Gay, 2 Ben Duckett, 3 Jacob Bethell, 4 Joe Root, 5 Harry Brook, 6 Jamie Smith (wk), 7 Ben Stokes (capt), 8 Gus Atkinson, 9 Jofra Archer, 10 Josh Tongue, 11 Shoaib Bashir.
New Zealand: 1 Tom Latham (capt), 2 Devon Conway, 3 Henry Nicholls, 4 Rachin Ravindra, 5 Daryl Mitchell, 6 Tom Blundell (wk), 7 Mitchell Santner, 8 Nathan Smith, 9 Blair Tickner, 10 Will O’Rourke, 11 Ben Sears.
Email! “In the pre-match photo of Ben Stokes, he’s batting in a sleeveless top (and probably shorts as well) — presumably what he’s most comfortable wearing while doing a physical activity in this weather,” begins Smylers. “Has there been any discussion of relaxing player kit requirements during the heatwave? I’m in an office where we’ve been allowed to wear shorts this week; my children’s schools have told pupils to come in in PE kit rather than their normal uniforms. When the rest of us are making adjustments, it seems curious for profession cricketers to have to play wearing more clothes than they need to. Is it just tradition?”
I guess it’s mainly tradition and perhaps the need to slide. But as a lifelong member of the shorts-wearing community, I’d say that, when it’s really hot, the feeling is more one of freedom than of cooling so, once they’re focused, maybe it doesn’t make too much difference.
This feels like a big toss. I’m a little surprised Jamieson has been rested for a series decider; so is Simon Doull, who explains that NZ have a busy schedule coming up. DK, meanwhile, isn’t happy, saying you can’t plan for September and October in June, and you play players whoa are fit and in form.
Stokes confirms he’d have batted, and that it’s good to be back. It’s a big week for him and the team, he says. He’s glad to have got some runs, hopes can imprint himself on the game.
On Ollie Robinson, he says they’re making squads bigger to have different options and they don’t want to pigeonhole a particular way of playing given varying conditions, and this is a “conditions-based” decision. Or, in other words, he doesn’t really answer the question.
Otherwise, Shoaib Bashir, who hasn’t bowled in a Test for over a year, has a good record at Trent Bridge, and should get a good, long spell.
New Zealand win the toss and bat
Of course they do. Tom Latham tells us it looks dry, and that the two injured players are replaced by Mitchell Santner and Zak Foulkes, with Blair Tickner in for Kyle Jamieson, whose workload is being managed.
Time for the toss…
Bad news for New Zealand: Matt Henry has a calf injury, so will be out for two to four weeks, while Glenn Phillips has a side strain, the length of his absence to be determined following a scan.
The pitch is flat, but it’s dry so might crumble later in the game. I can’t see any way you win the toss and don’t bat.
Now Nas, quoting Mike Brearley, is explaining that, as captain, you don’t realise how much you love the job till you don’t have it anymore, adding that the hardest thing to take when you do the job is the toll it takes on your own form.
Broady, meanwhile, tells us that Stokes can get “quite obsessive” with the fitness and so on – Roy Keane and Meg Lanning have both found that – adding that he’s not looked happy or relaxed over the last bit and is at his best when batting with freedom. Perhaps, then, the break will have done him good.
Speaking to Athers yesterday in tape we’re seeing now, Stokes tries to sound grateful to be back, is grateful for the love he had from supporters, and it’s nice to play in front of people who appreciate you; it’s said gently, but it sounds like a message to those above him. Previously, Stuart Broad observed that, at his core, he probably doesn’t feel he did much wrong.
Otherwise, he reckons the change of environment, to one a little more relaxed at Durham, has helped getting his batting going again – he needed to simplify things, he reckons.
Preamble
We all like feeling vindicated. It brings a sense of wellbeing, a sense of confidence, a sense of smug.
But when we feel vindicated and others do not, that’s a whole new plane of feeling – especially if those others are our bosses, and those others, our bosses, have first assumed it was they who were right and we who were wrong, then intimated the same to the public, then dished out a consequence having let someone else away with worse, then endured a disastrous week at work to reverse the great work done previously, while taking an unfathomable amount of time to investigate a scandal that was not exactly Enron. Yes, that might be described – but almost definitely wasn’t – as a whole new plane of feeling entirely.
Of feeling not uniformly positive, it seems fair to assume, just as it does that sentiments have been shared and analyses aired. But here we are: Ben Stokes is back and Gus Atkinson is back, Robert Key and Brendon McCullum are under pressure, and a series decider is even more exciting than it would otherwise have been.
A win for England and things might move on; a win for New Zealand and it might be people moving on; this is not a contest that “lacks context”, and it’s going to be intense.
Play: 11am BST
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