Right, that’s it from me. Thanks for your company and your emails. For the benefit of Robert Wilson I’ll let Paul Klee sum up the day’s action:
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STUMPS
New Zealand 303-2. New Zealand’s day, no mistake, but England have been pretty plucky this afternoon and have tried to stay aggressive throughout. It all makes for a fascinatingly poised Test match.
77th over: New Zealand 303-2 (Taylor 47, Williamson 92)
Stuart Broad will bowl the final over of the day. Again plenty of short stuff – Taylor deals with it all well until the fourth ball, which thwocks him on the gloves and bisects the two men catching of on the leg side. That’s the only scare, though, and that’s stumps.
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76th over: New Zealand 303-2 (Taylor 47, Williamson 92)
Spin from both ends as Moeen Ali comes in to bowl the penultimate over of the day. Ali beats him with a 24-carat, full-fat ripper that pitches outside off and cranks back through the gate as Williamson drives and misses leg stump. Buttler can’t grab the ball – little blame attached for that really – so a stumping chance goes begging and the ball zips away for four byes. That was astonishing, the ball bursting furiously from the footmarks.
75th over: New Zealand 299-2 (Taylor 47, Williamson 92)
Joe Root gets the chance to turn his arm over. The first is dragged down a touch and Williamson carves him through point effortlessly for a boundary that moves him into the nervous 90s. And a single means he’ll keep the strike.
74th over: New Zealand 294-2 (Taylor 47, Williamson 87)
Broad continues his bodyline bombardment. Williamson continues to bob and weave as necessary.
73rd over: New Zealand 293-2 (Taylor 47, Williamson 86)
Williamson works Ali away through the vacant backward point area for another three – though there’s nothing wrong with the way he’s timing the ball now. It’s all very sedate out there at the mo.
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72nd over: New Zealand 288-2 (Taylor 46, Williamson 82)
Broad returns and again we have the leg trap in place, two men in catching , two men out in the deep. Williamson is happy enough to take it on, though, and pulls safely for a single. Taylor is happy enough to ride it out in defensive mode. A couple of very nicely directed by the bowler but there’s no breakthrough.
71st over: New Zealand 287-2 (Taylor 46, Williamson 81)
Ali continues and England remain aggressive with three catchers around the bat and a man posted at a shortish midwicket. This pair cope with little fuss, though.
70th over: New Zealand 282-2 (Taylor 45, Williamson 77)
Stokes sets up a leg-side trap for Taylor and goes round the wicket once more. It may have been the double-bluff, though, as he sends another full one in towards the pads. Taylor flicks away for three. The field stays in place for Williamson, who does get some short stuff. In response, though, he unfurls a cracking pull for four that’s hit so well it beats the sweeper on the midwicket fence. And from the last Taylor rocks back and flicks over point for four more.
69th over: New Zealand 270-2 (Taylor 38, Williamson 72)
News! Sort of!
Jason Gillespie has confirmed to #SSNHQ that he's held talks with Andrew Strauss regarding the vacant Head Coach position. More on SSN now.
— Sky Sports News HQ (@SkySportsNewsHQ) May 22, 2015
Ali beats the outside edge of Williamson’s bat with one that goes straight on. Very nicely bowled.
68th over: New Zealand 270-2 (Taylor 38, Williamson 72)
Stokes goes round the wicket and attempts to pepper Taylor with some short stuff before fizzing in an attempted yorker. Good to see him try something different but no joy for him on this occasion.
@John_Ashdown Pleasing bunch of 50s in this test. What's the most number of 50s without a century in a pair of completed test innings?
— Sahil Kher (@sahilkher) May 22, 2015
Most fifties in a Test innings is seven, which has happened three times: England v Australia, Old Trafford, 1934; Pakistan v India, Karachi, 2005-06; and England v Sri Lanka at Lord’s in 2006. But can anyone out there answer Sahil’s query?
67th over: New Zealand 268-2 (Taylor 38, Williamson 71)
Moeen Ali returns at the Nursery End. A nudge and a nurdle for one and one.
66th over: New Zealand 267-2 (Taylor 37, Williamson 70)
Joe Root demolishes the boundary bumper with a desperate full length dive as Williamson guides yet another dab down to third man. Four more runs. Stokes responds by wanging the ball furiously at the stumps after picking up from his own bowling. He seems to be one of those players who feels he needs to have the battle fever on to thrive, but I can’t really recall a spell in which Angry Stokes has really worked.
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65th over: New Zealand 262-2 (Taylor 36, Williamson 66)
Williamson shovels Broad round the corner for a single. And Taylor does likewise from the last. It’s an important hour before the close for England – if they let things drift New Zealand could be 70-odd runs short of England with McCullum and Anderson to come.
64th over: New Zealand 260-2 (Taylor 35, Williamson 65)
Right, I reckon that’s about as much of that as I can get away with. Stokes rumbles in once more as the shadows lengthen and the sun shines on what is turning into a pretty glorious late spring evening in north London. Taylor punches economically down the ground for four.
63rd over: New Zealand 256-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 65)
Stuart Broad returns.
62nd over: New Zealand 250-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 59)
“Having spent the day on trains around France, I get to the OBO all ignorant and virgin, squintingly scroll down to the bottom of page, preparing to read upwards chronologically and thus boyishly enjoy the full experience of the day,” begins Robert Wilson. “And what do I find? Every photo of someone celebrating completely gives the game away.
“I know it’s a childish procedure and, yes, I know I can just order by oldest first (where is the fun in that?). But I really think you should help me out and have more abstract images. Wide shots, run-ups, near misses, the odd pensive pigeon. And there’s never a bad time for a Viv Richards portrait. Is this unreasonable?”
No, fair enough. Here’s what happened in this Ben Stokes over:
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61st over: New Zealand 245-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 54)
Seventeen overs remain today so they might be just one or two short by the close at 6.30pm BST. New Zealand trail by 144 with eight wickets remaining. And James Anderson is charging in to bowl at Ross Taylor. And “at” is the operative word there – he’s very straight at the New Zealand No4, testing him with a couple of very well directed short balls.
There's a kind of genius in fretting over England's middle-order batting that you ignore that bowlers can no longer knock over decent sides
— Tom Davies (@tomdaviesE17) May 22, 2015
"Time for a hydration break." I think Ive heard it all now.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 22, 2015
60th over: New Zealand 245-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 54)
Williamson chops Stokes away for four more through third man – he’s scoring all around the wicket but that area has been particularly productive. And that’s drinks.
59th over: New Zealand 241-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 50)
Williamson pushes into the off to take himself to a 78-ball half century. He’s in some nick at the moment.
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58th over: New Zealand 240-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 49)
Ben Stokes returns to the fray and Williamson pulls a loosener away for four with the power of a million suns. A few balls later we have a huge appeal as Taylor is smacked on the upper section of the pad – Stokes is very interested in a review, but Cook isn’t.
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57th over: New Zealand 231-2 (Taylor 31, Williamson 43)
Huge appeal as Anderson crashes an inswinging attempted yorker into Taylor’s pad – it’s probably a better shout than the one that was reviewed a couple of overs ago but this time, with only one review remaining, England opt not to ask the third umpire to get involved. Taylor celebrates the reprieve with a cruchingly pleasant cover drive for four.
“Wood’s debut is increasingly reminding me of Pankaj Singh last year,” writes Krishnan Patel. “The poor lad bowled his heart out and induced an edge off Cook only to see it dropped by Jadeja. Then he toiled and toiled without luck. I hope Wood doesn’t go the same way but there seems to be an air of disdain towards him by Taylor and Williamson. And do not expect B Mac to be lacking in the disdain department …”
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56th over: New Zealand 224-2 (Taylor 27, Williamson 40)
Ali drags one down a touch – a bit of a rarity today after being a pretty common sight in the Caribbean – and Taylor cuts hard off the back foot for four. Those are the only runs from an otherwise very tidy over.
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55th over: New Zealand 220-2 (Taylor 23, Williamson 40)
A little more wayward from Anderson on this occasion and Taylor is able to cope with little fuss. He flicks a couple to deep backward square for good measure.
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54th over: New Zealand 219-2 (Taylor 22, Williamson 40)
Taylor, a coiled spring when facing Ali, blocks, blocks and blocks again on this occasion before wristily playing into the leg side for one.
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53rd over: New Zealand 218-2 (Taylor 21, Williamson 40)
Jimmy Anderson returns at the pavilion end as Cook tries to inject some energy into his flagging side. And immediately we get a review as Anderson’s lbw shout against Taylor is turned down. It looked a little leggish to me … and indeed the ball is just brushing leg stump. Umpire’s call, not out. Anderson is troubling the batsmen here, though – Williamson has a scratchy push at one that is well wide of off and does well to miss the thing in the end.
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52nd over: New Zealand 215-2 (Taylor 20, Williamson 40)
Just a single from Ali’s latest.
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51st over: New Zealand 214-2 (Taylor 19, Williamson 40)
Shot! This is a cracker from Kane Williamson – a supremely-controlled short-armed cut for four off Wood. He follows that up with a push into the leg side for a couple, then drives through the covers for a couple more. And he tops this trifle of shots with the chocolate sprinkle of a glorious on drive for four more. He rattles on to 40 from 56 and this partnership is now worth 66. England are just beginning to look a little short of ideas again.
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50th over: New Zealand 202-2 (Taylor 19, Williamson 28)
Ali twirls in once more. Williamson works another three behind square on the off side. That’s three threes in all, which can’t be all that common in an innings of 28. Taylor, on the other hand, skips down the track and “gives it some humpty”, as they say – over the top of mid on and away for four to bring up the New Zealand 200.
Updated
49th over: New Zealand 195-2 (Taylor 15, Williamson 25)
A more-than-decent bouncer from Wood has Williamson weaving out of the way hurriedly. The batsman responds with a drive through the covers for three. He’s picked up a couple of threes in this innings so far, perhaps a sign he’s not quite timing the ball just yet.
“Bringing together your ‘cricketing autographs’ and ‘incongruous situations’ riffs,” writes Tom Moran. “In 1992, my primary school class got free tickets to Yorkshire v Essex (surprisingly, not a sell out on a cold Wednesday). While running around an empty Western Terrace chasing autographs, my brother homed in on Brian Close, helpfully shouting out ‘Don’t bother with this one, he’s fat and rubbish’ to his mates while pointing at a rather corpulent YTS kid to Brian’s right. The unknown in question? Mr Darren Gough.”
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48th over: New Zealand 191-2 (Taylor 14, Williamson 22)
Williamson, as mentioned on Sky, is a player for big hundreds, the biggest of which came earlier this year in Sri Lanka. Compare his top Test scores to, say, Marlon Samuels’, who’s been beyond 100 seven times but beyond 125 only once. Ali continues to probe and Taylor takes just a single.
Updated
47th over: New Zealand 190-2 (Taylor 13, Williamson 22)
Brilliant fielding from Ballance in the covers once more as Williamson catches a drive flush. It’s got four written all over it, but Ballance gets down to make an excellent stop. There’s nothing he or anyone else can do about the next though, a tippy-toed punch backward of point for four off Wood.
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46th over: New Zealand 185-2 (Taylor 12, Williamson 18)
Ali finds just enough turn to beat the Williamson inside edge and find the pad. There’s an appeal and a brief consultation between bowler and captain, but no review forthcoming. Rightly so. From the last Ali slides one past the outside edge as Williamson gropes. Very good over, that.
Updated
45th over: New Zealand 184-2 (Taylor 11, Williamson 18)
Just the one over for Joe Root as Mark Wood returns. He finds the edge of Williamson’s bat but it’s played with hands softer than Mr Soft’s soft underbelly and the ball plops into the turf well short of the slips. From the next, a late dab is chopped into the deck and the ball goes boinging off over gully for four.
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44th over: New Zealand 178-2 (Taylor 10, Williamson 13)
Moeen Ali has changed ends, which may or may not explain Root’s over there. Williamson trots down the track and has a bit of a heave, bringing a couple of “OH YEAH!”s from behind the stumps of which Macho Man Randy Savage would’ve been proud:
The next leaps up at the batsman and catches the shoulder of the bat … but the edge loops agonisingly away from the man at slip.
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43rd over: New Zealand 174-2 (Taylor 8, Williamson 11)
Joe Root takes the first over after tea. And he gets through a tidy of fairly unthreatening six balls that cost just a solitary run.
“Regarding Simon Brown - my girlfriend works at one of the Big Four accountants and mentioned that she works with a former test cricketer named Simon in client relations. I, being a child of the 90s, immediately yelped with glee at the thought of the finely moustachioed Simon Brown bounding through the office in cricket whites recounting anecdotes of his 2 for 138 in his sole Test. I went on to eulogise over the quality of his hair/moustache combo and that, were I to meet him, I would be able to chat to him for hours about playing ‘Best Tache’ with David Boon. Unsurprisingly, my girlfriend has never invited me to a work event.
Cricketers in slightly incongruous situations? When I was a lad we went on a school trip to Edgbaston and I got Courtney Walsh’s autograph … on a Sheffield United baseball cap, which was the only signable thing I had about my person at the time. Also: Simon Brown was quite useful on International Cricket Captain Ashes edition 2001 for the PC.
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TEA
New Zealand 173-2. A pretty even session in the end, with those two wickets coming in the space of three balls and bringing England back into the game. See you in 15.
42nd over: New Zealand 173-2 (Taylor 7, Williamson 11)
Williamson unfurls a cover drive so classical it should come accompanied by a burst of Vivaldi and a lecture about Ancient Rome. Wood finds a hint of inswing and Williamson keeps his powder dry for the remainder of the over. And that’s tea.
Just the merest smidgeon of reverse for Wood
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 22, 2015
41st over: New Zealand 168-2 (Taylor 6, Williamson 7)
Big bounce out of the rough means leggish delivery from Ali evades Joss Buttler and rattles away for four byes. And because he’s got through that over with decent speed there’s enough time to squeeze one more in before tea.
40th over: New Zealand 161-2 (Taylor 3, Williamson 7)
Mark Wood returns to the attack for a quick blast before tea. Good solid name, isn’t it? Mark Wood. Like Simon Brown. Or Bob Taylor. Or Brian Close. A couple of clips into the leg side add a two and a three to the Williamson score and the New Zealand total.
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39th over: New Zealand 155-2 (Taylor 2, Williamson 2)
And Moeen rattles through a maiden at Ross Taylor. Two maidens in a row.
“Three in a row, is that when they say you’ve got a chance,” asks Sir Iron Bottom in the Sky Sports commentary box.
“Let me go and check the data,” replies Michael Holding rather wryly.
38th over: New Zealand 155-2 (Taylor 2, Williamson 2)
Kane Williamson’s internal monologue seems to be comprised entirely of white noise and yelping at the moment – another nervy push at the ball sees an edge bobbling off into the slip cordon. A maiden from Broad.
37th over: New Zealand 155-2 (Taylor 2, Williamson 2)
Taylor gets off the mark with a sweep off Ali for two. New Zealand could really do with these two taking things through until tea but they’re jittery at the moment.
36th over: New Zealand 152-2 (Taylor 0, Williamson 1)
So New Zealand’s engine room pairing come out to the crease in very fine shape on the scoreboard but under some pressure given the last couple of minutes. Taylor is immediately whapped on the pad by a Broad inducker – there’s a huge appeal but it’s going over and it’s hit the batsman outside the line. One of those shouts that looks ridiculous on Hawkeye but seemed a perfectly decent appeal with the naked eye. Next up, Williamson sets of for a ludicrous single as the ball drops at his feet. Broad wins the race and underarms the ball at the stumps with Taylor absolutely nowhere … but misses by a yard. In the commentary box Ian Smith is fuming. Utterly fuming.
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WICKET! Guptill c Ballance b Broad 70 (New Zealand 148-2)
Now then! Guptill has given his wicket away here. He drives at a wide one at which he was always stretching just a touch too much, and his uppish shot ends up in the hands of a diving Gary Ballance at extra-cover.
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35th over: New Zealand 148-1 (Guptill 70, Williamson 0)
Thirteen – 13 – runs and a wicket off that over then. Latham was trapped pretty much plumb there – the ball was crashing in to leg stump.
Moeen strikes. 148-1. NZ's first wicket added more than their last 16 wickets did at Lord's in 2013. http://t.co/z04BfAk6G2 School run now
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) May 22, 2015
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WICKET! Latham lbw b Ali 59 (New Zealand 148-1)
Guptill channels a bit of Wellington and that innings at the World Cup – monstering Ali into the stands at cow corner with a huge six. The next, though, almost does for him – an inside edge onto the pads from a ball that keeps very low. A couple of balls later Latham takes a gentle single … and ends up getting three after Ben Stokes’ wild throw at the stumps. And just as England look to be descending into shambles, they get the breakthrough!
Latham goes on to the back foot and Ali spins one onto his pads. The finger goes up and England have their first wicket.
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34th over: New Zealand 135-0 (Guptill 60, Latham 56)
Latham drives through the covers for three to being up his half-century. A nice moment for the young man, who’s beginning to establish himself rather nicely at the top of this New Zealand order, despite a bit of a ropey series against Sri Lanka in December and January. He’s had his chance – that Bell drop – but he’s making the most of it at the moment. And he ends the over with another neat drive through the covers, this one timed rather better and rattling away for four.
33rd over: New Zealand 127-0 (Guptill 59, Latham 49)
Moeen Ali enters the attack for the first time today. gary Ballance puts the lid on and strides into short leg … and is immediately whacked in the kidneys by a Guptill slog-sweep. “Oh blimey, that came rather keen old chap,” yelps Ballance. I may be paraphrasing a touch there. From the next, Guptill’s able to steer the ball behind square for a couple.
32nd over: New Zealand 125-0 (Guptill 57, Latham 49)
Broad’s turn to stray a touch too full to Latham, this time on the pads, and gets punched economically through square leg for four. And from the next Broad’s radar is even further out, and four leg byes fly away off the pads. There’s a false shot from Latham from the next – a sort of squatty cut that missed the ball by a good foot.
In other news, I Small Talked with Curtly Ambrose this week. He was extremely affable and generous with his time, even when at one stage he thought I’d asked him if he had ever seen a goat …
31st over: New Zealand 116-0 (Guptill 56, Latham 45)
Anderson comes round the wicket to the pocket-sized Latham and gets him fishing just a little outside off, though the batsman made to suggest he was pulling the bat inside the line. The bowler then goes much fuller and gets on-driven beautifully for four.
Updated
30th over: New Zealand 111-0 (Guptill 55, Latham 41)
Afternoon all. Well this has been a particularly chastening day for me – not only are England taking a bit of a pasting in the field, but all this Best Man talk has been particularly painful, what with my brother – my own brother – recently overlooking me for the role at his forthcoming nuptials. Groomsman? Groomsman? I’m an usher and he knows it.
Anyway, Guptill has just driven Broad sweetly down the ground for four. And a bumper sails over Buttler and bounces away for four byes.
29th over: New Zealand 102-0 (Guptill 50, Latham 41)
Anderson bowls too short at Latham, who pulls it away for four to tickle the Kiwi total into triple figures. England need a change of luck here, and as the players take drinks I’ll try to do my bit by passing the OBO baton to John Ashdown and hoping that he has good reason to go heavy on the exclamation marks in the near future. Bye!
NZ 102-0, Guptill and Latham making the most of the Eng charity.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 22, 2015
@Simon_Burnton This is when England miss Swann, though if Cook won't give Moeen a go, well...
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 22, 2015
102-0. NZ's first century opening stand in an away Test since 2010, only second in 45 Tests since 2004. http://t.co/PodBTuRc7c #ENGvNZ
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) May 22, 2015
28th over: New Zealand 97-0 (Guptill 50, Latham 37)
Guptill completes his half-century with a single off Broad’s first delivery. It’s two days less than exactly two years since his last Test, when he scored one and three against England at Headingley, and getting on for three years since his last Test half-century, against India in August 2012.
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27th over: New Zealand 96-0 (Guptill 49, Latham 37)
Guptill has faced eight balls so far since moving onto 49, in which time there have been two leg byes. A mood of quiet resignation appears to be settling over Lord’s – crowd and team are in need of a lift. Stuart Broad is about to return, charged with weedling one out.
26th over: New Zealand 94-0 (Guptill 49, Latham 37)
Stokes keeps bowling across Latham, and this time he fends off the first ball, which disappears wide of the slips and away for four. This outfield is the zippiest thing since Rainbow was last decomissioned.
25th over: New Zealand 89-0 (Guptill 49, Latham 32)
Anderson bowls, and Guptill tries to hit through midwicket, gets a leading edge and instead sends the ball flying high over mid on, where it eventually lands perfectly safely and tootles gently into the rope. A stroke of luck, in more ways than one.
24th over: New Zealand 83-0 (Guptill 43, Latham 32)
Stokes bowls across the left-handed Latham, trying to elicit a drive, an edge, and another chance for the slip cordon to put the ball down. Latham isn’t much interested in that game, so pretty much leaves the ball well alone. Maiden.
23rd over: New Zealand 83-0 (Guptill 43, Latham 32)
Wood stands down, Anderson returns, and three runs are scored. OBO appeal: The OBOccasionals, a team comprised of OBO readers, is looking for talent. Er, “talent”. “If anyone is interested in playing for a friendly, enthusiastic group of extremely amateur cricketers over this summer, please get in touch,” begs Joe Neate. “The last couple of years we’ve been to Finland and Estonia, but this year it looks like we’re keeping things a little closer to home, with us lining up some games in Brighton and Godalming so far. Absolutely all ranges of talent welcome.” They’re on Facebook here, and have a proper website here. Sign up now!
22nd over: New Zealand 80-0 (Guptill 41, Latham 31)
Stokes thwacks Latham full in the pad and screams at Marais Erasmus, who doesn’t react. So he draws breath and screams some more, and eventually the umpire shakes his head. The bowler wants to review it, but his captain shakes his head as well. And quite right too – the ball pitched a good few inches wide of leg.
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21st over: New Zealand 78-0 (Guptill 40, Latham 30)
More drama! Buttler misjudges the first, which squirms under his glove and away for a couple of byes. And then Latham smacks the next just in the air past point, where Stokes sees it late and dives more out of duty than expectation, for four. Robin Hazlehurst has a possible wedding-speech line: “They say judge a man by the company he keeps. [Groom] choose as his best man and best friend someone who researched this speech about [groom] by asking a load of random people following a cricket match over the internet for suggestions. [Bride], run for it, it’s not too late yet!”
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20th over: New Zealand 70-0 (Guptill 40, Latham 24)
Stokes is bowling really very well, and he has Guptill squirming with a fine yorker. The batsman, though, bottom-edges it into the ground, over the slips and away for four. Worse, the next goes past point for four, a clean stroke this time. And then he edges the last ball of the over for another wide of gully for four. Twelve runs from the over. That’s gotta hurt.
19th over: New Zealand 58-0 (Guptill 28, Latham 24)
Like rats, you’re never more than five yards from somebody talking about Kevin Pietersen.
I am sure a good coach can manage that. I played with him in teams and he was not disruptive. https://t.co/Qgtc40jzK5
— Mahela Jayawardena (@MahelaJay) May 22, 2015
18th over: New Zealand 56-0 (Guptill 28, Latham 22)
Edged! And dropped! Latham smacks Stokes’ first delivery past point for four, and then edges the very next just to the left of Bell at second slip, and he gets both hands to it but can’t hold on.
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17th over: New Zealand 49-0 (Guptill 26, Latham 17)
Wood continues, and Latham thunders a short, wide delivery past cover for four. Wedding-speech zingers continue to pour in, such as this from Ben Roche: “Marriage, with its twists and turns, is often equated with the ebb and flow of a river meandering gently downstream. Sometimes fast and pacy, sometimes gentle and languid. This image also works well for [insert groom’s name], who like many rivers, is often full of shit.”
16th over: New Zealand 44-0 (Guptill 26, Latham 13)
Some variable bounce for Stokes, and some movement as well! So that’s encouraging, then. And it’s a maiden.
Stokes on after lunch and getting some nice shape on the ball. Lovely inswinger to go with away swing. Top first over.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 22, 2015
Hello again!
Luncheon having been taken, the players are back on the field and Ben Stokes has been handed the ball. The morning certainly belonged to New Zealand. What, now, for the afternoon?
LUNCH
New Zealand survive unscathed until lunchtime, and Mark Wood gets a couple of conciliatory back-pats on his way back to the dressing-room. They trail by 345, with all 10 first-innings wickets remaining.
The inch which robbed Mark Wood of a maiden test wicket #bbccricket pic.twitter.com/WVIADUbcsg
— Test Match Special (@bbctms) May 22, 2015
15th over: New Zealand 44-0 (Guptill 26, Latham 13)
Wood bowls the final over before lunch, and a final-ball single is all that comes from it. “A good opening gambit,” says Oliver Smiddy, re: wedding speeches. “Churchill once said that a good speech is a like a woman’s skirt – long enough to cover the subject, and short enough to create interest.”
Promising start by Mark Wood at Lords. Has more than a touch of Simon Jones about his bowling @si610 #lively
— Alec Stewart (@StewieCricket) May 22, 2015
14th over: New Zealand 43-0 (Guptill 25, Latham 13)
Anderson bowls the first maiden of the innings. You’d have thought there could be a cricketing equivalent of Wimbledon’s beepy fault-signalling system that would instantly alert us to a no ball and allow batsmen to sort themselves out before there’s a wicket on the line. But then, I have no idea how beepy fault-signalling systems work.
13th over: New Zealand 43-0 (Guptill 25, Latham 13)
About to bowl his third ball, in the final stride of his run-up, Wood suddenly dances way out to the edge of the crease before delivering the ball to Guptill, surprising everyone, but the batsman deals with it. Interesting bowling, but the over will be remembered only for the non-wicket.
Not out! It's a no ball!
Disaster! Wood bowls fast and fine, finds Guptill’s edge, and Cook takes the catch at first slip – but all for naught!
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WICKET! Or is it? Guptill c Cook b Wood 24 (New Zealand 40-1)
The breakthrough, and it’s the debutant with it! But is it a no ball? It’s close! And it looks close the wrong way!
12th over: New Zealand 40-0 (Guptill 24, Latham 12)
Anderson’s back, having changed ends, and Guptill welcomes him with a violent bosh through the covers for four. Botham complains that England aren’t bowling full enough, the age-old song of the domestic commentator. “Tom Wright’s panicked plea reminds me of a wedding I attended during the 2013 Ashes series,” writes Ralph Hartley. “Many of the guests, an astonishing assortment of Jane Austen-esque Cotswold characters (the Brigadier, the vicar, the local farmer etc) made little effort to disguise their disgruntlement at being unable to take up their debentures at Lords that day. In recompense the father of the Bride’s speech was divided thusly: three minutes devoted to how the groom was a ruddy nice chap; 30 seconds to the beauty and constancy of his daughter; and a full six and a half minutes of detailed updates on the day’s play – greeted with raucous cheers.”
11th over: New Zealand 35-0 (Guptill 19, Latham 12)
“I have been to tons of weddings,” writes Cliff Fourie, as Guptill hits Wood between midwicket and mid on for four, “and heard best man speeches right across the spectrum. Best one by far was a 13 year old nephew of the groom who threw in this pearler: “marriage is for better or for worse. [groom’s name] could not have done better, [bride’s name] could not have done worse.”
10th over: New Zealand 30-0 (Guptill 14, Latham 12)
Latham works Broad’s delivery through midwicket for four, and New Zealand reach 30, the point by which England were wildly disintegrating, without loss. “I’ve been one of two best men twice,” writes Chris Evans. “One of the grooms shared his birthday with Eddie Murphy so we went with, ‘Chris shares his birthday with some famous people who seem to be inextricably (tough word when you’re nervous) linked to his life, such as Eddie Murphy, who in Shrek plays an ass who falls in love with a dragon.’” Honk!
Promising first over by Wood. 91-92mph. Something for the coaches to work on. They'll want to get that down to 83-84mph.
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) May 22, 2015
9th over: New Zealand 26-0 (Guptill 14, Latham 8)
Mark Wood bowls, a little faster than either of the opening bowlers – around 92mph – and there’s a decent lbw shout against Guptill. Sundaram Ravi shakes his head, but Hawkeye thinks it would have clipped the top of leg stump. Not by enough to overturn the on-field decision, so it’s just as well England decided not to review.
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8th over: New Zealand 25-0 (Guptill 14, Latham 7)
Broad bowls across Latham, who feels for the ball, which flies past his bat and into Buttler’s gloves. There’s no edge, which is just as well as Buttler then dropped it. England had lost a wicket by this stage, obviously, but it wasn’t until they’d scored their 25th run that things really started to fall apart. Meanwhile on Sky, as Michael Holding describes the action, there is the unmistakable sound of a wine bottle being uncorked in the background.
7th over: New Zealand 24-0 (Guptill 14, Latham 6)
Anderson bowls, the ball clips Guptill’s thigh pad and disappears for four. “I rounded off my best man speech with ‘The Spanish have a saying – “That which is done well, if done quickly, is doubly good.” I’m afraid I haven’t managed to do that but [bride’s name] may like to bear it in mind for later on this evening,’” writes Tom Morgan from Spain. The thing about wedding speeches – and this isn’t a comment on Tom’s in any way – is that they usually sound magical on the night, but on the page prompt nothing so much as repeated and violent head-desk interaction.
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6th over: New Zealand 20-0 (Guptill 14, Latham 6)
Broad bowls, and Guptill hits through midwicket for three. The over ends with England’s first lbw appeal, after the ball hit Latham’s thigh pad, but it pitched about a foot outside leg. Otherwise, worth a shout. Bob Miller’s best-man-speech advice:
As you know I’m a man of few words
[sits down]
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5th over: New Zealand 17-0 (Guptill 11, Latham 6)
Anderson bowls, and concedes a couple of singles before Guptill works the ball to deep backward point for three. “Having done two best man’s speeches I consider myself a bit of an expert,” writes Grant Woodward. “One that always goes down well is the following, in the part where you’re singing the bride’s praises: ‘I’m sure you’ll all agree [insert bride’s name here] is a wonderful girl who fully deserves to find happiness with the man of her dreams. It’s just a shame [insert groom’s name here] got hold of her before she could find him.’” Clearly the groom in this case is a man who appreciates cricket, surely opening the way to questionable puns about leather and wood and suchlike.
4th over: New Zealand 12-0 (Guptill 7, Latham 5)
Probably the ball of the day so far from Broad, starting straight, moving a little off the seam and flying just past Guptill’s bat. The batsman tries to send the next, fuller and straighter, down the ground but edges it instead, totally safely, along the ground to deep cover for three runs.
@simon_burnton Here you go for the Best Man Speech - https://t.co/K3Mu0YA17k
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 22, 2015
3rd over: New Zealand 9-0 (Guptill 4, Latham 5)
Anderson bowls to Latham, with three slips, a little gap and then two gullies in place, and tries to tempt him into a drive. Eventually he succeeds, and Latham drives through the covers for four.
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2nd over: New Zealand 5-0 (Guptill 4, Latham 1)
Broad bowls from t’other end, with three slips and a short leg in place. “I’m fortunate enough to be being taken to the third day at Lord’s tomorrow,” writes Tom Wright. “I’m the best man for a wedding the following weekend and the groom and his family are taking me along to the cricket as a thank you. But I’m slightly panicked because I have no speech (not a word) and dwindling time. Could you kindly put it to the witty, urbane yet sensitive OBO community to provide their best advice for delivering a cracking wedding oration?” Right then, let’s have your best (family-friendly) wedding-speech zingers.
1st over: New Zealand 4-0 (Guptill 4, Latham 0)
Guptill leaves the first few well alone, and then punches the fourth through the covers for four, a handsome way to get off the mark. The cloud cover is indeed still there. Can England do to the Kiwi top order anything like what was done to them?
And they’re back out, England have huddled and Anderson has the ball. Let’s play (more) cricket! Or at least watch other people play it.
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Innings break
And around Lord’s and indeed the nation, people turn to each other and say, “Well from 30-4 you’d take that.”
England 389. 30-4 at the start; 35-4 at the end. 324-2 in the middle. The classic innings of three halves. 150% cricket.
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) May 22, 2015
100.5 overs: England 389 all out
The day’s first bowling change sees Matt Henry replace Southee at the Nursery End, and brings instant rewards. Before that, though, England earned a place in the history books:
This is now the highest score made by any side in Test history after being 30 or fewer for 4. #bbccricket
— Test Match Special (@bbctms) May 22, 2015
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WICKET! Anderson c & b Henry 11 (England 389 all out)
Anderson chips the ball limply over Henry’s right shoulder, and he sticks out a hand and takes the catch!
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100th over: England 389-9 (Wood 8, Anderson 11)
Boult, having claimed the last three wickets to fall (as well as Ballance much earlier) is on a five-for, but he doesn’t really threaten England’s tail-enders here, and they each take a single.
99th over: England 387-9 (Wood 7, Anderson 10)
Lovely shot! Anderson cracks the ball past point for four! And then terrible shot! Anderson tries to hit down the ground, gets a thick top edge and the ball flies over the slip cordon and away for four!
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98th over: England 379-9 (Wood 7, Anderson 2)
Boult’s first ball goes way down leg side and past a diving Latham before disappearing for four byes, and he then bowls a wide full toss to Wood, which is diverted past point for four.
97th over: England 369-9 (Wood 3, Anderson 1)
Wood works the first ball off his pads again and gets a single for his pains, and then Anderson pokes the last to cover for another. Here’s an idea (though I think the cloud cover is expected to stick around, so no hurry).
Clever thought from Tufnell: declare now while there's some cloud cover and plenty of swing. Two wickets now worth more than 15 extra runs
— Stephen Moss (@StephenMossGdn) May 22, 2015
96th over: England 368-9 (Wood 2, Anderson 0)
Boult gives Anderson some width, and he wildy slashes his bat at it and makes no contact. Then he bowls at the stumps, and Anderson gives himself some width, wildly slashes his bat at it and makes no contact. The ball clears the stumps by a smidgeon.
WICKET! Broad c Latham b Boult 3 (England 368-9)
Well, he didn’t get nought. A nice delivery, angled into the batsman before fading away a fraction, tickling the outside edge and flying through to the keeper.
Broad edges Boult to the keeper for 3. Only surprise is that he got that many really #ENGvNZ @WisdenIndia
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) May 22, 2015
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95th over: England 368-8 (Broad 3, Wood 2)
Another single for Wood, who edges the ball through his legs to square leg while attempting a cover drive. Southee bowls a wide bouncer at Broad which couldn’t be easier to evade, and then goes full and straight. Broad quite stylishly pushes it down the ground, and even if it doesn’t quite reach the boundary, it’s still a fine way to get off the mark.
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94th over: England 364-8 (Broad 0, Wood 1)
Wood comes in and tucks his second ball off his pads to long leg for a single, and Broad survives the last two deliveries.
7 - Since hitting 108* v Sri Lanka last June, Moeen Ali has hit seven 50+ scores in first-class cricket, none converted to 100s. Starts.
— OptaJim (@OptaJim) May 22, 2015
WICKET! Moeen Ali c Latham b Boult 58 (England 363-8)
Moeen is surprised by a little extra bounce, gets a thin top-edge on a ball he’s trying to drive, and Latham looks particularly relieved after he takes the catch. A disappointing way for England to lose their last recognised batsman, really.
Mo nicks off and out for 58. Eng 363 for eight.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) May 22, 2015
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93rd over: England 363-7 (Moeen 58, Broad 0)
This time Moeen takes a single off Southee’s third delivery, well fielded by McCullum at midwicket, and Broad is on strike again. This time there’s no really short stuff (Broad still ducks, though, to a delivery that passes him at chest height) and the final delivery of the over whistles across the batsman, straightens and bounces just over the stumps. “Interesting to compare Stokes’ and Flintoff’s records after 10 Tests,” writes Tom Bowtell, before supplying the figures:
Stokes: 527 @ 32.17 and 25 @ 39.20
Flintoff: 255 @ 15.93 and 7 @ 66.42
(And, for perspective, Botham after 10, erm: 479 @ 43.54 and 53 @ 17.33)
92nd over: England 362-7 (Moeen 57, Broad 0)
After four Boult balls Moeen takes a single to square leg, and Broad is on strike for the first time. His first delivery is short and straight, and he does an awkward combination of jumping and ducking, but successfully gets out of the way. So will the next also be short, or will it be full and aimed at the stumps? Well, neither – it bounces harmlessly past the batsman, and Broad leaves it alone. “I’ve just heard Jonathan Agnew talking to Andrew Strauss on TMS, and he (Strauss, I mean) turned startlingly bristly and snotty: ‘You’re being unbelievably negative,’ he said, in response to a mild and justified question,” writes Mark Smith. “It reminded me of the debate on OBO yesterday about how England are a hard team to like sometimes … why so thin-skinned and petulant? It was Aggers, not Paxman.” I’m not sure the best way to combat negativity is to react negatively to it.
91st over: England 361-7 (Moeen 56, Broad 0)
So in comes Stuart Broad – last four Test innings 0, 0, 10, 0 – but Moeen takes strike for the first over of the day, bowled by Southee, and he cracks the ball through midwicket for four to complete his half-century, and pushes the next through the covers, McCullum stopping eventually chasing it down a foot from the rope.
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Game on! Er, nearly!
Mark Nicholas signals the start of play! #LoveLords pic.twitter.com/nXV0RYXUkD
— Lord's Ground (@HomeOfCricket) May 22, 2015
Man, you’ve really got me here. All these questions you’re asking I’ve never been asked. [Thoughtful pause]
There’s an excellent Small Talk with Curtly Ambrose available for your delectation here. Turns out he’s not very good at answering questions.
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The big questions for this morning are: will Mark Wood be an unlikely batting hero? Can Stuart Broad bat at all? Can England work their way beyond 400? Here, though, is an early contender for catch of the day:
Cracking catch from Gary Ballance during slip practice #EngvNZ #LoveLords pic.twitter.com/rFp97aHtWu
— Lord's Ground (@HomeOfCricket) May 22, 2015
Hello world!
It’s another glorious London morning. Weather forecast latest: it’ll cloud over this afternoon and rain later, though after the day’s cricket is done. We had a spectacular first day to this Test, with all sorts of drama and intrigue. More of the same please, lads.
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Good morning. Simon will be here soon. While you wait, here is Vic Marks on how Ben Stokes’ instinctive 92 from 94 balls dragged his side back into the first Test against New Zealand after a dreadful start had left the home side 30 for four.
It was an “I was there” innings, not a monumental one but memorable. Ben Stokes, in the space of two hours, cheered everyone up. Whether Stokes’s 92 against New Zealand will linger quite as long as Ted Dexter’s 70 against West Indies in 1963, so vividly recalled by our correspondent the other day, is debatable. Yet Stokes, alongside dependable old Joe Root, 24 years old going on 34, fashioned a recovery every bit as startling as Lord Ted all those years ago, and at a similar rate.
The bald facts: England were 30 for four when Stokes arrived at the crease; when he departed for 92 from 94 balls they were 191 for five, out of the woods, if not over the horizon.
The gremlins were at work before Stokes’s arrival. So this was the brave new world: 30 for four against a set of pace bowlers who were on the other side of the globe a few days ago. There was scope for the morass of despair to get stickier still albeit mixed up with a touch of village green farce when Moeen Ali, in his training gear, was sighted scuttling back to the pavilion from a Nursery end net as quickly as he decently could without suggesting too much panic. He needed to get his whites on sharpish.
Then we were transported from all the agonising at England’s recent malaise by their reaction to a dire situation. Wondrously the cricket took over. Despite the flurry of early wickets the batsmen opted to attack with vim. Root may have analysed that this was an appropriate response. Stokes seemed to be pursuing a simpler process. “See ball, hit ball” – where have I heard that before?
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