England and NZ look to weekend after Friday washout
The only cricket played at Lord’s yesterday took place at the back of the new Compton and Edrich stands, as a gaggle of hopeful but unrewarded spectators took part in an impromptu game that defied the unrelenting drizzle.
Out on the main square the covers remained a permanent fixture, sadly, with the umpires Richard Kettleborough and Michael Gough calling time on proceedings at 4.30pm to leave two days of 98 overs apiece for the first Test between England and New Zealand to produce a result.
The weekend’s weather forecast is at least dry and for the hosts there is plenty still to do. Rory Burns, 59 not out, and Joe Root, unbeaten on 42, will resume with their side 111 for two after 43 overs but still 267 runs in arrears and up against a bowling attack that should be fully recharged from the break in proceedings.
Burns in particular will be heartened by his start to the series and an 11th score of 50 or more in Test cricket, even if there was a sliding doors moment on day two when surviving a tight lbw shout from Tim Southee on five. After missing the tour of Sri Lanka in January for paternity leave, Burns was dropped after two Tests in India as two squandered starts of 33 and 25 and two ducks – plus Jonny Bairstow’s return to the tour – forced England into a rethink.
It followed a low-key end to last summer that threatened his status as a centrally contracted Test player but having been restored for this series in a further show of faith, the left-hander’s homespun game has looked in good order thus far. Root, meanwhile, faces a resumption of what has become an intriguing battle with Colin de Grandhomme.
The all-rounder’s medium pace accounted for Root’s wicket during the World Cup final in 2019 and once again proved a struggle on day two, offering few scoring options and rapping the England captain on the hand. Shane Jurgensen, New Zealand’s bowling coach, said: “I love watching it from up on the balcony. Colin certainly presents a challenge for Joe. He can swing it and seam it, and you may see on the speed gun it’s 115-125kph but he’s extremely strong, so he bowls a heavy ball. And he’s very accurate.”
Burns and Root are the two 30-year-olds in a batting unit otherwise made up of 20-somethings and, with Ollie Pope, Dan Lawrence and debutant James Bracey in next, there are only 22 caps of experience to come before the tail begins. New Zealand are hoping a pitch that had started to show some signs of inconsistent bounce, as well as the odd ball that turned for Mitchell Santner, emerges offering similar assistance following a day spent under the covers.
Jurgensen added: “You always have to believe you can push for a result. It’s not offering a lot of bounce but there is enough for all the bowlers, either spin or seam. It’s a matter of being patient, bowling the way we know we can.”
Day three abandoned: Friday report from Lord's
The only cricket played at Lord’s yesterday took place at the back of the new Compton and Edrich stands, as a gaggle of hopeful but unrewarded spectators took part in an impromptu game that defied the unrelenting drizzle.
Out on the main square the covers remained a permanent fixture, sadly, with the umpires Richard Kettleborough and Michael Gough calling time on proceedings at 4.30pm to leave two days of 98 overs apiece for the first Test between England and New Zealand to produce a result.
The weekend’s weather forecast is at least dry and for the hosts there is plenty still to do. Rory Burns, 59 not out, and Joe Root, unbeaten on 42, will resume with their side 111 for two after 43 overs but still 267 runs in arrears and up against a bowling attack that should be fully recharged from the break in proceedings.
Burns in particular will be heartened by his start to the series and an 11th score of 50 or more in Test cricket, even if there was a sliding doors moment on day two when surviving a tight lbw shout from Tim Southee on five. After missing the tour of Sri Lanka in January for paternity leave, Burns was dropped after two Tests in India as two squandered starts of 33 and 25 and two ducks – plus Jonny Bairstow’s return to the tour – forced England into a rethink.
It followed a low-key end to last summer that threatened his status as a centrally contracted Test player but having been restored for this series in a further show of faith, the left-hander’s homespun game has looked in good order thus far. Root, meanwhile, faces a resumption of what has become an intriguing battle with Colin de Grandhomme. The all-rounder’s medium pace accounted for Root’s wicket during the World Cup final in 2019 and once again proved a struggle on day two, offering few scoring options and rapping the England captain on the hand.
Shane Jurgensen, New Zealand’s bowling coach, said: “I love watching it from up on the balcony. Colin certainly presents a challenge for Joe. He can swing it and seam it, and you may see on the speed gun it’s 115-125kph but he’s extremely strong, so he bowls a heavy ball. And he’s very accurate.”
Burns and Root are the two 30-year-olds in a batting unit otherwise made up of 20-somethings and, with Ollie Pope, Dan Lawrence and debutant James Bracey in next, there are only 22 caps of experience to come before the tail begins. New Zealand are hoping a pitch that had started to show some signs of inconsistent bounce, as well as the odd ball that turned for Mitchell Santner, emerges offering similar assistance following a day spent under the covers.
Jurgensen added: “You always have to believe you can push for a result. It’s not offering a lot of bounce but there is enough for all the bowlers, either spin or seam. It’s a matter of being patient, bowling the way we know we can.”
Thanks for your company. It’s a bit odd when we sit around here talking for hours on days when it rains, but it’s always entertaining. Have nice weekends. We’ll try again on the OBO from 10am. Bye!
PLAY HAS BEEN CALLED OFF AT LORD'S
Ah well. 98 overs tomorrow, the ECB say, with play from 11am.
“Hi Adam!” Neil Bell in Sweden, good afternoon to you. “A quick question: why are tests held over five days in the first place? On another note I wanted to tell you about our app called ‘Umpire’s Call’ - it has been out for a about a year and thought future umpires could try and see how good they are judging LBW decisions.”
Sure, happy to give you a plug - looking forward to having a play. As for the length of Tests, that was a process of evolution. As recently as the 1926 Ashes, four of the five were over three days (all draws) with the decider timeless. After WW2, this settled down a bit.
☔️ Sadly rain is continuing to fall here.
— Lord's Cricket Ground (@HomeOfCricket) June 4, 2021
Let's hope it brightens up as soon as possible for some play 🙏#LoveLords | #ENGvNZ pic.twitter.com/DdwQEEZDYs
“How long before the cricketers’ shirts resemble a Formula 1 driving suit?” asks Mojo Wellington. “Three advertisers on the England top, plus on the umpires, stumps, outfield, boundary (how I miss the rope). Hell, they’d stick a car advert on the ball if they could find a way to keep the shine on it. With all this advertising revenue, they could afford to reduce ticket prices a smidgen, could they not?”
Yes, this is contested space. A sponsor on the front of the shirt wasn’t permitted in Test cricket until (if I recall correctly) last year when international cricket returned. The thinking behind it was this gave boards the chance to make up some lost revenue from Covid-19. It does stand out because it is lucrative territory.
As for ticket prices, this is where there is another conflict between stadium economics and the objective to grow the game. The fact is, Test Matches typically sell out in the UK, regardless of the price point. So, it’s short-form cricket that has to do the heavy-lifting in terms of getting people through the gate without as much disposable income. Thus, plenty of cheap tickets for The Hundred.
John Robbins with the final contribution for our XI. “Rick Parfitt of Status Quo as 4th seamer: ideal dodgy hair, steady bowling action with limited variation but guaranteed to get the Barmy Army going. Especially their belter “Rain”. HRH Prince Philip: good for 99 runs but even better for the generally politically incorrect sledging from first slip. It’s nice and sunny in Solihull.”
On weather, I should report that the rain is heavier where I am, five miles east of Lord’s. Sky are back on now... it’s still raining at HQ. A reminder that 6pm is the cut off to get any play on this third day.
“I like your re-jigged Test Championship effort, personally.” Thank you, Josh Copper, who is currently watching Lancs. “At least it tries to deal with some of the big problems of the current format (i.e. series of different lengths carrying the same weight of points.) Though I worry about how teams are going to bowl 98 overs in a day when they can’t do 90 in glorious sunshine.”
Good point! But one cricket problem per day on the OBO, I say.
A throwback to a discussion Daniel was having earlier today, via David Duncan. “Daniel observed “Egg and Bacon” as an unusual word-order (inn the context of MCC colours). Just observing that in Scotland, many of us describe / make / order a “roll on bacon” not “bacon roll”. Similarly “roll on sausage”; “roll on fried egg”, “roll on black pudding”. We tend to eschew the American “bun” or English “butty”, at least in the breakfast food context. Not sure if any fellow Scots may have an explanation for the word order - maybe something to do with Gaelic language construction…?”
Scots, the floor is yours.
“Afternoon Adam.” Allo, Brian Withington. “At Test Match level, a potentially useful sanction on the formerly amusing but now infamous Celebrappeal would be that it constitutes a deemed review of the compulsory not out decision. If reviews are already exhausted then it’s simply a no-ball. Sorted.”
Or just a bit of a re-jig to Law 42. Shouldn’t be too difficult.
Oh, there is some live international cricket on right now, I’m told!
💢 Finally the break we needed! Stirling is out after 52 runs by Seelaar's hand! Ireland need 67 off 160 now.
— Cricket🏏Netherlands (@KNCBcricket) June 4, 2021
📺👉 @ZiggoSport
Livestream 👉 https://t.co/5FRN08L3aB
Scorecard 👉 https://t.co/PPVROeikFZ#CWCSuperLeague #NEDvIRE #CricketNL #TeamNL @TeamNLtweets pic.twitter.com/mcunyNoiK7
Would it surprise you to learn that my entire inbox contains historical figures and where they might bat or bowl? Let’s do a handful more and I might move it on a bit after that.
“In their own very different ways,” writes Ewan Glenton, “surely Jack the Ripper, Lord Lucan and mathematician David Hilbert have all played themselves into contention as wicketkeeper over the years, having stumped so many people.” Very good.
“I would absolutely insist on finding a space in the team for Sigmund Freud,” suggests Dawn Morgan. “He’d be a natural at slip.”
“Surely Machiavelli as captain?” Kerrith Britland reckons. “And, of course, Caravaggio for some violent chin music.”
Peter Salmon wants Jacques Derrida. And he sends me a photo of the French philosopher playing the game as well - nice.
Peter Metcalfe, with his umpire’s hat on. “Pope Gregory the First. With papal infallibility, there would be no need for any reviews.”
Last but not least, the great Gary Naylor. “I’m surprised that the rather militaristic XI did not find room for Barnes Wallis, whose bouncers were more destructive than Harold Larwood’s.”
The short-history of hat-tricks. A note from from pal at Wisden Cricket Monthly Towers, Jim Wallace, who wrote the below piece. He’s writing to us from Lord’s. “It looks wet. To get my Blackadder on - Wetter than Wet Wet Wet performing a cover of ‘waterfalls’ on a wet weekend in Wetwang. For my money, Naseem Shah’s hat-trick is up there as one of the best, his age alone putting him in the conversation. Irfan Pathan’s first over effort and Mathew Hoggard’s Barbados blitzkrieg are also firm favorites.”
This is, what we would call in my politics days, a killer fact.
STAT ALERT: Devon Conway, out for 200 yesterday, became the 200th man to score a Test double hundred.https://t.co/rUWZay3Nti#ENGvNZ
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) June 4, 2021
No news is no news
Ian Ward confirms that a) it’s still raining and b) they need to be on by 6pm to get any play in today. They won’t need long to clean it up, that much I do know from having commentated all the county games at Lord’s this season. Half an hour of dry weather is enough.
“Surely Sir Francis Bacon, Sir Water Raleigh, Victor Hugo should be in the team as they were all bowlers!” insists NC Benson. “And if you want variations surely Edward Elgar can’t be overlooked!” Wills Doug is here too: “Thatcher’s a run out waiting to happen. (This lady’s not for turning).” And Tom Morgan has a few candidates. “Graham Greene fielding at third man? A Beatles tribute band in the covers? As captain, the great general Hannibal. If he could get elephants over the Alps, he could get a few more fiery old-ball overs out of a tired fast bowler.
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“Afternoon Adam.” Allo, Elliot Brooks. “I’m sure this has been litigated enough already, but surely just two tests isn’t enough for a New Zealand series? They’re always such great competition, and I always get a text from my mum at the start of each game that says: ‘Isn’t Kane Williamson lovely? A proper sportsman.’ That’s real value, there.”
Okay, deep breath. Are we ready for my World Test Championship re-jig? Are you going to be kind in your emails when you disagree?
Two groups of six, for starters. It has to include all Test nations. And let’s accept that we’ll find an elegant way to sort those groups out every two years - seedings from the previous cycle will do it.
What about the points? Here’s the controversial bit. For mine, only three-Test series to count in the WTC; no more two-Test business. All series (and matches) to therefore be worth the same.
Issue one: whaddabout the Ashes and other four/five Test series? In this model, only the first three would count in the WTC. My belief is that the Ashes/Border-Gavaskar is important enough that the final two Tests wouldn’t mean any less because the WTC bit is finished.
Issue two: the cost of putting on Tests - a big issue for many of the non-Big Three nations. A compromise. If they agree to play series of three instead of two, they can play those contests over four days.
Now, I dislike four-day Test cricket; I don’t want that to become the norm. But if this is the trade-off to get New Zealand playing Pakistan thrice at home, to set the global standard at three instead of two, then I think it is a worthy price to pay. Especially when those four-day affairs have been, so far, over 98-overs per day, rather than 90.
From there, the top team from each group makes the WTC Final. Alternatively, the top two, with a new round-robin to begin to determine the two teams to play in the Grand Final. Et voila!
“Adam.” Andrew Benton. “And there I was, thinking a Celebrappeal was appealing in the style of a celebrity. That’d be much more fun, and an almost limitless supply of celebs to emulate / mock!”
It’s been great fun but it’s now a big part of the county game which, in turn, means it’ll start to infect recreational cricket. No thanks.
Henry J. Heinz is Charles Sheldrick’s spinner in our Historical XI. “For his numerous variations.”
“Good afternoon Adam.” Hello, Sam Charlton. “Whilst not much of a problem at present at Lords, the glorious weather creates a unique issue I want to bring to your attention: face mask tan lines. An unfortunate soul whom I go out to events with as a nurse found this out the hard way. Obviously it is hilarious for everyone else, but not if you’re the victim.”
Only the hard-hitting issues during a rainy OBO! But it’s a good point. I once overdid it at the Aussie Open with sunglasses on with the burn line causing me all sorts of grief for about, oh, six months. Another time, falling asleep at the MCG with my shirt off (this day), nearly landed me in hospital. I deserved for it to land me in hospital.
The Historical Figures XI is popular. Stephen Holden wants Jesus Christ to feature in the middle order. “He’s a big hitter. Apparently he cleared the temple.” Very good. Michael Robinson has Charlemagne in the mix. “And just in behind Caesar would be a nice place for Brutus.” A full XI from Mark Dawson? Alright, go on then:
Stonewall Jackson, La Pasionara, General Patton, Prince Rupert Erwin, Rommel (C, also handy as a fourth seamer), Marshal Ney, Florence Nightingale (keeper), Quintus Fabius, Oliver Cromwell, Marshall Zhukov Saladi.
Very... militaristic.
Hello, everyone. Like Daniel, I’m also about five miles from Lord’s and my assessment of the situation is much the same as his. But we’ll make our own fun in the usual way, won’t we? I’ve spent my morning writing about trying to stamp out Celebrappeals, because I’m a really cool guy like that. Coming from a place of love, of course - Broad fandom, one must be part of it. But still. That wasn’t good yesterday, from the England champion, nor Tim Southee later on.
Sorry to start negatively. Must be the rain. Here’s Nassem Shah’s hat-trick (featuring a Celebrappeal, wicket two) - what joyous cricket.
Right, that’s me done for the day. Here’s Adam Collins to ease you through the rest of the day, which will hopefully feature some klikkit – email him on adam.collins.casual@theguardian.com.
“I have managed to create a holy trinity of Steve Davis, Boiler Room and OBO,” says Patrick Duce. “Who’d have thought it? A one hour DJ set should get us through to the end of play?”
DJ Steve Davis is a bit techno for my taste – what a succession of words that is – but any port in a storm.
“Greetings from sunny Lago Como,” brags Tom Morgan. “Alastair Campbell – spin option, Mrs Tiggywinkle – seam-stress, Coco Chanel – number 5.”
Laugh!
“XI of historical figures,” emails Alistair Leadbetter. “I think there’s room in there for Gandhi, Einstein, Aristotle, and the fearsome duo of Martin Luther and Martin Luther King. This reminds me of when I used to play Owzat and had plenty of non-cricketing teams such as Rock Stars, Artists, Philosophers, Sunderland players, etc. I say ‘used to’, but who am I kidding...? It helps pass a rainy day.”
Somewhere at my parents’ house is an original set, and I can’t contest those suggestions, especially not the spin-twins of Einstein and Aristotle.
Updated
“Do you think the Black Caps were deliberately bowling on Burns’ leg stump,” asks Ruth Purdue, “or did they have their radar off? As he gets most of his runs on the leg side, it seemed curious.”
I’d guess the latter – lefties get a load of deliveries in that area, and getting used or re-used to the slope probably exacerbates that.
It’s still raining just under five miles from Lord’s, so I imagine it’s still doing likewise at Lord’s. I’m still hopeful we’ll get some play, but the forecast is not especially inspiring, and a total washout is undeniably on the agenda.
If we were compiling an XI of historical figures, who would be in it? Feel free to fill in the gaps, or drop those I’ve picked.
1. Steve Davis
2. Alexander the Great
3. Julius Caesar
4.
5. Napoleon
6. God
7.
8.
9.
10.
11. Boudica (RF)
Updated
Back to our earlier chat about pitches, another flat-track advantage is work for the spinners: on a 220 all-out green top, they’re not going to do much, but on a batting wicket they’ll be as crucial as the first hour. I can see no flaw in this rationale whatsoever.
If it’s any consolation, is also raining in Paris – but they’ve got a roof.
Here we go, the ubiquitous prawns in Marie Rose their own separate course.
Despite no play so far, the players will still be tucking into a premium lunch at the interval 😋
— Lord's Cricket Ground (@HomeOfCricket) June 4, 2021
What would you choose? 🤔#LoveLords | #ENGvNZ pic.twitter.com/WDhz8pNtsZ
Updated
Nothing to do with cricket, and yet everything to do with everything.
We’ve got plenty play in the Champo, and Tanya Aldred has the latest – check it out.
“Enjoying the non cricket convo!” emails Mark Slater. “Because I was otherwise occupied I am a bit late to the OBO, but I would like to voice my appreciation at the sharing of the Mysterons, the finest Hale and Pace appreciation turn ever!”
There aren’t many albums that so evoke a time, and I’m pleased to report that it’s aged beautifully – I played it to my seven-year-old recently, and was greeted with none of the usual disparagement.
Just rereading the MCC colour explanation, is this the only context in which we talk of “egg and bacon” rather than “bacon and egg”? And is there a linguistic reason we describe paurs of objects in particular order, so never say “chips and fish,” “fork and knife” or “blame and bang”?
Updated
It's still raining
I’m afraid to say. I guess we’re 90 minutes away from play, minimum.
Hello again. “How was it that the MCC chose the Catalan colours for their branding, way back in the mists of time?” wonders Andrew Benton. “Even the MCC logo looks like it’s a big C! Was there a tour to Barcelona in the 18xx’s that inspired them .... or did the Catalans like cricket and copy the MCC?”
The Lord’s website teaches as follows, but it doesn’t claim to be definitive:
“The original MCC colour of sky blue was replaced in Victorian times by the famous red and yellow. They are now recognised the world over (affectionately referred to as ‘egg and bacon’).
MCC Museum houses a boundary flag dating from this period, which is the earliest known example of the red and yellow monogram, but it remains a mystery on why these colours were chosen – though a number of explanations have been proposed.
The colours are similar to those used as racing colours by The Duke of Richmond who had strong ties with the Club in the early days of MCC. While it has also been suggested that the colours were borrowed from the wandering club I Zingari who were founded in 1845 and shared many members with the MCC.
However, common consensus leans to the Club taking on its colours as a personal thank you to William Nicholson who assisted in purchasing the freehold of Lord’s Ground. Nicholson, an MCC Member, was also the owner of the Nicholson’s Gin Company, the colours of which were red and yellow – in what was perhaps an early example of corporate sponsorship.”
Right, I guess that’s lunch. I’m off to marinate some lamb – see you in about 40, hopefully for some cricket.
There they are, the lads.
Goodness me. Sky are showing a doc about England’s hilarious trip to India in 1992-93; for the first Test, England picked four seamers and one spinner, while India picked one seamer and three spinners. Who to believe?
“I’ve expressed myself (and Tom) a little clumsily there,” returns Mike Daniels, “but the point he was making was that if you only play on flat wickets you won’t necessarily promote the mindset and techniques of taking wickets, you will, in the main, promote defensive bowling. You’re right that you need to take wickets to win a Test but you won’t necessarily develop the bowlers to think about taking wickets if you don’t put them into situations where the pressure is on them to take wickets, and there’s no better place to do that than in a situation where they are expected to, as opposed to hoping to. The bowler then has to develop the relevant techniques to do so in varied conditions.”
I see both sides, I really do, but it’s also the case that England have struggled to take 20 wickets in India and Australia and I’d guess that more practise on flat tracks is likely to be helpful.
On which point, I absolutely loved this – sentiment and turn of phrase.
Kane Williamson on Lord's: "There are fantastic lunches. It's a special place to eat food".
— Will Macpherson (@willis_macp) June 1, 2021
Please excuse my namedrop, but KP told me the same, and that if you were out or fielding, you waded in to the fullest possible extent. He also reserved particular praise the the prawns in Marie Rose sauce.
Updated
Weather update: it’s still raining, so lunch will be taken as usual at 1pm meaning no play until 1.40pm at the earliest but realistically, it’ll probably be later than that.
“At the risk of being ‘that guy’,” says Nick Ridgman, “I must insist that Detectorists is referred to by its proper name, sans rogue ‘The’.”
Behold my “Netherlands” below!
“Still trying to work out if Silverwood would have preferred a flat pitch or a lively one as a player,” muses Sean Clayton. “If we believe Wikipedia, Bob Cottam claimed Silverwood was faster than Allan Donald (!) but I remember him as more of a swing and seam bowler than an outright paceman...”
I’m certain he’d have fancied a greentop – and no, I’m not sure he was quite as quick as Ai Dee.
“Stealing a break to glance at the OBO in the rehearsal room (Le Wine Club with Anna Lou, opens Brighton Fringe June 19th since you ask),” begins Michael Keane. “Shame about the weather but wondering if you have any updates on the ODI in Utrecht? Don’t know which site is best for scores so thought I’d email you. And much as I love Ireland, having the live stream on here while directing would probably be unprofessional...”
Netherlands are 123-8 off 40, so Ireland are pretty well-placed. Good luck with the play!
Updated
“Flatter pitches,” begins Mike Daniels. “Tom Cartwright would say that producing flatter pitches doesn’t produce better bowlers except in the sense that they become better defensive bowlers. He ascribed to the view that pitches with something in them made for better bowlers as it put the pressure on the bowlers to deliver wickets and develop an attacking mindset rather than a defensive one. The good bowlers will find a way to take wickets on most surfaces if that’s the way that they set out to achieve.”
That’s a really interesting angle – so much of sport, and life, is played in the mind. I’m not sure I can buy it though, because you can’t win a Test bowling defensively on a flat track – you need to find a way to attack even with no help from the conditions. And another of looking at things might be that the good bowlers look to attack on every wicket.
“On the subject of spreading joy,” emails Brian Withington, “all three seasons of the Detectorists are a delight but the last episode is simply wonderful. See also Marvellous, also with the impeccably life-affirming Toby Jones lead role. You’re welcome.”
Someone pressed the Detectorists on me quite some time ago, and I sort of mentally filed it under whimsy. But if it’s worth a go, will have a look – and agree on Marvellous.
Ian Ward reckons rain until about 2pm, then we should get a decent amount of cricket thereafter. “From his mouth to God’s ears,” as my Gran would’ve said.
“G’day Daniel,” says Alistair Connor. “I’m thinking ‘Ha. England. Summer. Rain.’ But to be honest, you’ve got just as much of a chance of rain interruption in Auckland in December. Except that the rain is warmer. And it doesn’t last all bloody day.”
What’s especially galling here is that in most of the country, they’re playing – even Old Trafford, for crying out loud. But hopefully we’ll get enough in today to make the next two days what they should be.
In other what were you doing at 16 affirmation:
Outstanding moment for Danial Ibrahim 👏
— LV= Insurance County Championship (@CountyChamp) June 4, 2021
Aged just 16 years and 299 days, he's made his maiden 50 in his @SussexCCC debut 😲
Watch him live: https://t.co/MMaYF6CyMl pic.twitter.com/KMmDHUMbtA
I’m sure that when he’s not in the middle, he’s memorising every lyric and noise of Dummy.
Oh, and one more: Musa Okwonga’s book, One of Them, achieves the difficult feat of being an easy read – it’s propulsive and entertaining – and a difficult read – it teaches you things about the world and about yourself that are upsetting. Find out more:
Longtime members of our community will know that the OBO is not just for cricket but for the general sharing of joy, so allow me to recommend a couple of things that have enriched my recent life: Les Misérables – not the original, but the Ladj Li film on Netflix – is really, really worth your heart and mind. And, on an entirely different tip, American Barbecue Showdown has perhaps the most likeable cast of any reality show I’ve seen.
Yeah, it’s still raining. No one has sent me any cake to stimulate conversation but we can pretend to the contrary; I’d love a school dinner-style treacle sponge.
It’s interesting that Chris Silverwood has asked for flatter pitches this summer, so his bowlers get better at finding a way and his batsmen get better at occupying the crease. I guess we can add it to the IPL on our list of things about which KP was right, but otherwise that strikes me as good news for Jofra Archer and Mark Wood, whose pace becomes even more valuable. I also can’t wait to see how Branderson impose themselves just when we think that conditions are against them.
Pivoting back to the match, Rory Burns will be delighted to have got a score here. I guess there’s a feeling that England’s top three aren’t quite cemented yet, Burns and Sibley good players who’ve not yet made the runs to waive stylistic concerns and Crawley seeking to bring his bottom level closer to his very acceptable top level. I hope all three do well this summer, but I’d absolutely love another look at Hasseb Hameed, and not just because of his luscious locks.
“Since we’re on a hip-hop tip,” says George Browne, “Do you think today’s cloud will see the ball hooping around?”
In the first hour, for sure, but at 60 minutes and one second? Who can say.
The umpires are in the middle and the pitch is being uncovered, which is good I guess – though looking around and looking out my window, the weather does not scream “CRICKET!”
There’s play in the champo pretty much across the country – they’re delayed at Trent Bridge and Canterbury, but going strong everywhere else. This country, eh? Anyhow, follow the action here:
Updated
“Shame about this rain, eh,” laments Andrew Cosgrove. “I couldn’t agree more about the new stands, they look fantastic. When you bemoaned the loss of the toilets, I thought you were talking about my greatest grievance. I used to love the magnificent urinals at the Nursery End. I think they might have been Edwardian, acres of porcelain. The fact that the entrance and egress appeared to have been designed by someone who had given absolutely no thought to the most efficient way of getting hundreds of men in and out just added to the charm, somehow. I believe those toilets are no more, but it turns out you were talking about a different toilet.”
I know your ones too, and yes, I agree – I like to believe that the small opening and vast expanse was a metaphor for opening a window into the soul.
Anyway, how is learning every note of a classic album not more crucial than matrices, Great Expectations and the French idioms on page 175 of Tricolore?
“Cruciality is relative,” philosophises Matt Dony, “and only truly understood when we can look back on a period and place it within a wider context. (My GCSE year, for example, was supposed to be ‘crucial’, and yet the fact that I wasted it learning every guitar note of Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness appears to have done no lasting damage). When taking about upcoming time periods, I would argue that we only ever have the potential for cruciality. The first hour’s play could be crucial. We won’t know until we’re looking back on it. And, anyway, time is a man-made construct, and nothing truly matters. Happy Friday, everyone.”
That takes me back – I too did GCSEs in what graffiti around Golders Green and Camden Town knew as “Nutty 9T5”. I didn’t have the dexterity for guitar-playing, but did visit Virgin Megastore and ease open the plastic protecting various sheet music books, in order to copy down lyrics into my homework diary. Failing that, I would wait until my Walkman battery ran down and my tapes played slowly; who needs the internet?
The rain doesn’t look “set in” but doesn’t look likely to disappear in the next bit. We’ve not been advised about a potential start-time which isn’t a great sign.
Would it ever be possible to take, say, six weeks in the calendar and hold a Test-match World Cup? Last 16, last eight, semi-finals and final, one and done? I daresay I would watch it.
The new Compton and Edrich stands look the absolute business, don’t they? I have reservations – boxes in the middle of the two tiers, sending the upper deck further from the action, less sun for those so inclined – but the view from the bottom looks so much better. Ultimately, you’ve got to credit the MCC in that every single ground improvement has been an absolute belter, on its own and as part of the whole. One minor tragedy, though, is the loss of the greatest toilets in the world – those were in the Warner, and featured a window which afforded members a view of the middle.
It’s still raining, but that’s sort of good news. It means we should have play through all five days – and, as per the below, prospect of cricket is better than no cricket – on top of which, for those that can it’s worth investigating tickets for Sunday because there may be some.
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Tim Southee had a chat with Sky, discussing the inswinger he’s found and with which he dismissed Zak Crawley yesterday. It’s incredible really – how good he’s been without one – and how watching James Anderson can leave one taking such behaviour for granted
“If the first hour is crucial, yet is lost to rain, does that hour remain crucial or does the next one take on that role?” wonders Phil Withall. “Does time lose its meaning if nothing happens during it or does it become more valuable for that reason? Do I need help?”
These are the issues we’re here to tackle. I’m using my crucial first hour to debate the contents of my cool bag for tomorrow – did you know that Jews are forbidden from carrying on Saturdays, but if various posts are erected in the correct manner this no longer applies, and it’s now possible to do so all the way from Woodside Park to St John’s Wood, yes I will be making kiddush and hamotzi – but otherwise, I’m not sure. I would, though, like to know which are the uncrucial hours, and am certain that time is illmatic, keep static like wool fabric.
Ah man, it’s so good to be back. Rain during cricket is somehow the best rain there is and the worst rain there is all at the same time.
We’re looking at Joe Root, who may well hold the key to this Test. We’ve been here many times before – him looking sensational and in total command of the bowlers – but too often, he’s allowed himself to get out without grinding home his artistry. It might be that he’s over the bump, and though today won’t prove anything either way, a serious score will make a statement.
Yesssss. Just caught a “first hour is crucial” in a Sky montage, but was looking at my fingers so not sure who bestowed it upon us. More news as I get it.
Alan Gardner, OBO alumnus, has confirmed on Cricinfo that it’s raining at Lord’s, so there’s a strong chance we’ll have to spend the first bit of the morning amusing ourselves. As such, aitch or haitch? The Fresh Prince of Manny has strong thoughts on the topic.
Not that far from haitch cue, I’m afraid it’s been raining, and the morning prognosis – courtesy of the Met Office – is not a good one. But we should still have enough time for the match to unfold.
Preamble
A normal person looks at this Test match – the players, the conditions, the game – says draw and moves on. Except nothing about Test matches – nor the people obsessed by them – says normal, so here we are at the start of day three simply saying more more more more more more.
The thing with sport is that though most encounters aren’t classics – like everyday life – the possibility of a classic always exists – not like everyday life – a truth that is perfectly encapsulated by this perfect thing of ours. So here we are.
Yeah, alright. Anyone with the vaguest familiarity with English cricket is expecting a glorious collapse rich with symbolism and allegory – the sensation is gorgeously palpable – but anyone with the vaguest familiarity with this England cricket team is wondering which of the various freaks is poised to do something definitive – the sensation is hilariously ill-conceived.
And similar is so of New Zealand, which really sets up what we’re about to see. With runs on the board they should be the happier side, except with not as many runs on the board as they’d have liked, they’re the more vulnerable side. Or, put another way, this is why we’re here. Go well, everyone.
Play: 11am BST
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