That’s it then from me, the match report will land here soon. New Zealand showing just why they are contesting the World Test Championship final later this month. Thanks for the correspondence, good night!
An old fashioned, attritional day of Test cricket, dominated by Devon Conway’s superb debut century. He looked the part- calm, balanced, unfussy, yet with flair - and backed up the first-class figures which had had everyone talking beforehand. He was briefly perturbed by Mark Wood bowling at 94-95 mph at the body in the morning, but rode it out.
England’s bowlers kept plugging away. Robinson probably the pick, tireless on debut, picking up two wickets. Anderson swept up his bunny Williamson, while Mark Wood had to bowl longer spells than would be ideal. England’s decision to not play a front-line spinner could bite them later, though Root held up one end well without threatening.
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Stumps!
86th over: New Zealand 246-3 (Conway 136, Nicholls 46) Broad runs in for one last hurrah. His fifth ball zips past Nicholls’ outside edge and is greeted by rueful grins from the slips. The New Zealanders have a hug on the pitch, Root bumps fists with Conway as he walks off and England, and the 6 and a half thousand crowd, applaud him up the empty pavilion steps. Well played!
And a final word on the lemon top as well, this from Tim Sanders:“Whitby is well-known for the lemon bun as well as the lemon-top ice cream. Presumably Whitby’s status as a busy port gave local bakers and the antecedents of Mr & Ms Whippy the opportunity to develop these culinary delights. I’ve turned up more or less conclusive evidence in a PhD thesis from 1982 by one Stephanie Jones of University College London. According to her research, 175 chests of lemons were imported into Whitby in the year 1790 alone. Those not commandeered for the prevention of scurvy at sea must have been a blessing and a boon for those we would today call artisan foodies.”
85th over: New Zealand 246-3 (Conway 136, Nicholls 46) In some sudden sun, Conway drives Anderson with a flourish, behind point for four. The penultimate over of the day ticks by.
This is Conway's first FC hundred as an opener. Tidy effort.
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) June 2, 2021
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84th over: New Zealand 242-3 (Conway 132, Nicholls 46) Three slips wait as Broad runs in to Conway, who sends the ball off his legs, through some scavenging pigeons and picks up three. Now, in answer to an earlier question from an OBO correspondent - the highest score at Lord’s on debut before today was Sourav Ganguly’s 131 - it is now Conway’s 132 not out!
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83rd over: New Zealand 239-3 (Conway 129, Nicholls 46) Anderson’s palms and the inside of Bracey’s gloves are stained red from the new ball. The skies are darkening over Lord’s, and Anderson makes the ball dance, beating Nicholl’s outside edge one ball, before sending the ball zipping across his pads the next.
82nd over: New Zealand 239-3 (Conway 129, Nicholls 46) Can Nicholls clear from his mind the thoughts of a fifty? Broad tempts Conway to nibble at the new cherry, but he resists.
New ball
81st over: New Zealand 235-3 (Conway 129, Nicholls 43) Anderson rushes in with the new ball for the first time; Nicholls takes a look and swishes it off his hip for four. An lbw appeal that was too high follows, then more probing and defending - the thread of the day.
“Haiya Tanya Aldred.” Hello Sandip-bike.
“Greetings from a toasty Portland in Oregon, where yes, it is 22C and rising!
I felt compelled to write as there is much talk on heat on your obo. I also find the OBO (along with the other offerings at Graun, mbm, etc) are where I learn much about the rest of the world.
However today, the page keeps skipping and I did wonder if Peter ‘low over rae’ Salmon has finally found home (59th over).
There is a question that has kept me puzzled, and it is about the umpire reviews in regard to lines (for instance, run-out and stumping). The DRS draws lines, just like the VAR does on footy fields. Do you or any of your contributors-readers know if the line in cricket (DRS) is same thickness as the offside line that the VAR chappies draw?
And now back to regularly programmed scheduling for me, which is mucking about with macros to remove unwanted cells and rows in worksheets.”
I think this might be one for Rob. I’ll forward your email to him, unless any OBO-ers can help?
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80th over: New Zealand 231-3 (Conway 129, Nicholls 38) Root isn’t going to have any of his bowlers box-fresh for the new ball, but new ball it will be as Broad finishes the 80th over, with three runs off it, and the third umpire runs on with a shiny new one in his hand.
79th over: New Zealand 228-3 (Conway 129, Nicholls 36) Wood sends one wide of Conway who drives fiercely and Rory Burns makes a superb flying save that wakes the Lord’s crowd from their evening slumber.
Fantastic fact from Sky: 85 players have made their debut since Jimmy Anderson first pulled on an England shirt.
“I’ve just looked up lemon tops and now I have a different kind of ice cream envy,” writes Phil Sawyer. “I would very much like one of those right now. I’m not sure 1980s Lancashire would have been ready for them, mind.”
78th over: New Zealand 226-3 (Conway 128, Nicholls 35) It’s Broad’s turn to iron out the creases before the new ball is available in three overs. Just one from it.
77th over: New Zealand 225-3 (Conway 127, Nicholls 35) Loose-shot klaxon! Conway tries to fizzle Wood through the covers but instead gets a thick edge and screams it past his leg stump. He silently reorganises his brain cells.
76th over: New Zealand 217-3 (Conway 125, Nicholls 33) Conway slog-sweeps a wheeling Root for four. Hope all this bowling doesn’t tire him too much from his main task.
“Hi Tanya.” Hi Vincent O’Connor!
“Greetings from a damp Cork city.
First off, great coverage by your good self and your colleagues at the OBO, as ever.
I was wondering if you could enlighten me as to the highest test debut scores, maybe ever and also specifically at Lords?”
Well, the highest maiden century, was Garry Sobers’ 365. The highest score on debut 237 by RE Foster in 1903.
75th over: New Zealand 217-3 (Conway 121, Nicholls 33) Wood again, who replaces Anderson. Breathing heavily, he walks back to his mark. He stumbles in his follow-through on one delivery, roars out an optimistic lbw appeal to another. A maiden with an iron fist for effort.
74th over: New Zealand 217-3 (Conway 121, Nicholls 33) England are keeping it tight, just like the text books say, only one off Root’s over, but Conway and Nicholls don’t seem to be feeling the pressure of slow scoring.
Derek writes from Bulgaria, “First mail of the season of the Gods. Not hadanything playing-wise to comment upon.
So as a former sun worshipper, ex Zimbabwean who could not really warm
up in my 20 years in blighty, I find heat much more difficult to live
with at 67.
In Bulgaria, people appear to disrobe at a certain date. My wife and I
astound the locals dressing for the day. They can be wrapped up in
winter clothing, maybe sweating, yet the summer has not officially
started so the layers remain. The great day arrives and the clothes
are shed. It must be quite a body shock to the nervous system.
The cricket season, as it is, is split into two. July and August in
the high 80s Fahrenheit. I thought of suggesting the old school PE
kit of white singlet (vest) and shorts but then thought the
winter/summer dress code may confuse players.
OK. Kiwi’s still just 3 down. Hope I may find a comment about the
match tomorrow!!!!”
73rd over: New Zealand 216-3 (Conway 121, Nicholls 32) Nicholls is quietly lining his shelves, he averages over 40 in Tests and is well on the way today.
72nd over: New Zealand 215-3 (Conway 121, Nicholls 31) Shackles burst! Conway drives Root neatly, cripsly, through the covers to bring up the 100 partnership in 205 balls.
71st over: New Zealand 210-3 (Conway 117, Nicholls 30) It’s Anderson and it’s attritional, but New Zealand have the upper hand.
“Just tuning in and seeing the over rate - 10 overs behind at drinks? Pretty poor in these conditions to be this far behind,” says Paul Bowman.
What are the penalties this series for slow play given there are no WTC points at stake?”
Well they’ll be punished themselves by not getting a big burst with the second new ball this evening. Might be time to give Dan Lawrence a quick burst too, even if only to ring the changes.
70th over: New Zealand 209-3 (Conway 117, Nicholls 29) Root wheels through his ninth over and.. to the third ball after drinks.... Bracey excitedly races round for a stumping. The umpire calls for a review and - ooof - it’s close, and slick glove work, but Nicholls just got an outstretched toecap back over the line.
Andrew Benton writes: “I’ve just returned from having Covid jab number 2 to see the batters having something of a field day, which is odd since it’s England in the field. On my walk back, I found a history of the secondary school I went to in a charity shop - no famous cricketers, but one famous actor. I’m wondering which schools have nurtured the most England or county players.” Eton is usually the answer to this sort of question. Or the school of hard-knocks (the mines).
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69th over: New Zealand 208-3 (Conway 117, Nicholls 28) Wondering if Root might come to tire of his vice-captain Stuart Broad and his constant helpful suggestions. Anyway, Anderson is persuaded to take on the task of bowling with an ageing orb and immediately delivers a maiden. Drinks and one last haul.
68th over: New Zealand 208-3 (Conway 117, Nicholls 28) Wood labours through another, but it feels time to give him a rest. From the New Zealand dressing-room balcony, Kane Williamson and Tom Latham chew the fat with a Fat Freddy’s Drop vibe.
67th over: New Zealand 206-3 (Conway 116, Nicholls 27) Nicholls goes down onto one knee and, with a touch of pin-stripe, sweeps Root for four.
“This heat business works the other way too, says John Starbuck. “I well remember being in Florence one March and, because it was warm, walking around with only a T-shirt on my top half. When we got to the street market I heard plenty of remarks about how I needed a proper jacket, this from people bundled up in anoraks.”
So anoraks go to Florence in March and to Headingley in April?
66th over: New Zealand 200-3 (Conway 117, Nicholls 22) This a game of patience now. Wood must be near the end of this spell, but charges in regardless. Nicholls merrily plays it out as the floodlights are switched on at a Lord’s where the clouds have drawn over.
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65th over: New Zealand 198-3 (Conway 115, Nicholls 20) Root zips through a tidy but not over-threatening over. The New Zealand batters pause for refreshment.
“I remember going to a Lord’s test match way back when and, along with the rest of the crowd, getting excited when Ian Botham came out to bat,” writes Steve Colwill. “Dot ball, sumptuous cover drive for four, dot ball, caught behind. He left the wicket to a near dead silence.”
The deadly power of the silent crowd.
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64th over: New Zealand 198-3 (Conway 115, Nicholls 20) A hard-working maiden from Wood.
Mark sneaks an email into the OBO post bage. “Really enjoying sneaking peeks at the obo while ‘working’...
“Seeing the picture of England players gathering around Robinson
celebrating a wicket, I note the height and build of Zak Crawley; has
anyone suggested looking at his bowling in the nets? Wikipedia says he
bowls off-break, but with his height he might get batsmen with his
bounce more than turn if he pushes it through?”
You’re right, he’s got the stature but, according to Cricinfo, he’s bowled 57 overs in first-class cricket but taken not a wicket.
63rd over: New Zealand 198-3 (Conway 115, Nicholls 20) The bottle spins and stops at Joe Root. Conway sweeps him airily, but picks up three.
“Afternoon, Tanya.” Hello, Phil Sawyer! “In unexpected news, I have ice cream envy. In my misbegotten youth I was Mr Whippy on the pier in St Annes-on-the-Sea. I never got to work with dry ice, though. Kim Thonger has lifted the lid on an impossibly rock star slant on the frozen iced product, complete with a crowd pleasing finale. All I ever got was angry tourists exclaiming ‘’Ow much?!’.”
But did you offer lemon tops? That was a new experience for me the first time I went to Whitby.
62nd over: New Zealand 194-3 (Conway 112, Nicholls 19) Conway moves into three figures with some flair, top-edging Wood for four over Bracey’s head before pulling him to the deep square boundary with a walnut-oiled roll of the wrists.
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61st over: New Zealand 185-3 (Conway 103, Nicholls 19) A super innings by Conway, he looks classy and nerveless. He’s the sixth player to make a debut century at Lord’s: after Andrew Strauss, Sourav Ganguly, Matt Prior and three others who I didn’t catch.
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Devon Conway makes a hundred on debut!
With a one-legged flick off Robinson, Conway sends the ball to the boundary and that’s the hundred! Well played! He removes his helmet and allows himself a modest twitch of the lip corners as on the balcony his teammates stand and applaud.
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60th over: New Zealand 176-3 (Conway 98, Nicholls 15) Root whistles for Wood in an attempt to unsettle Conway. Conway pulls flamboyantly, a heart in mouth moment for the spectator, but he know what he’s doing and the ball skittles away safely for one. An exchange of singles and he retains the strike on 98.
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59th over: New Zealand 173-3 (Conway 96, Nicholls 14) A glut of runs all of a sudden, as Conway opens the face and runs Robinson down to third man for four. He plucks the final ball into the off side for a single and keeps the strike. Four needed for that juicy hundred on debut.
“Here’s what I don’t understand abut low over rates.” types Peter Salmon loudly. “They have been part of our cricketing lives for years, during which time lots of players who participated in keeping them low have become commentators. And yet they are always just as baffled and angry. What I would really like one day is a retired player to say ‘Yes, we kept them low for reason x, y or z’ and we don’t care about the spectators. Because there are obviously are reasons, and the players obviously don’t care.”
Peter, Peter. I don’t know what the answer is but I suspect the players just don’t think about unless they are hit hard in the pocket or the scoreboard. In the same way that you amble down the street daydreaming until someone calls you and asks when you’ll be HOME.
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58th over: New Zealand 166-3 (Conway 89, Nicholls 14) Conway flicks Anderson through mid-wicket and the hands of Crawley for four. A similar shot goes for three. Advantage New Zealand in the first half hour of this evening session.
57th over: New Zealand 158-3 (Conway 81, Nicholls 12) Root installs a leg-slip and immediately the ball flies between him and Bracey as Conway tissues an edge which flies for four. The admirable Robinson, owner of a low-key villain’s beard , plods back phlegmatically.
Richard O’Brien weighs in on the heat. “From a long term expat resident in Thailand. Remember
“When it hits 20 degrees, Westerners reach for the shorts and sunglasses, the Thais reach for a jumper....”
56th over: New Zealand 152-3 (Conway 77, Nicholls 12) The attrition continues.
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55th over: New Zealand 152-3 (Conway 77, Nicholls 12) Bracey looks neat behind the stumps, unobtrusive too. A smaller keeper than Buttler or Bairstow, more in the mould of a Russell. He could fold up into a teacup. Unlike Robinson, who muscles through another over, New Zealand watchful.
An emails wings in from Anthony Bradley. “The first test match I ever attended was Boycott’s hundredth hundred match where the applause was tumultuous and extended. The biggest cheer of the day was actually for Mike Brealey’s three ball duck!” Oh, the empathetic Headingley crowd.
54th over: New Zealand 151-3 (Conway 77, Nicholls 11) Anderson, yellow-soled cricket boots kicking up behind him, chasing his own shadow, varies his length. Henry Nicholls calls a crazy single, if Wood had hit from mid-on he would have been trotting off with a flea in his ear. Conway settles things with four off the last two balls.
53rd over: New Zealand 146-3 (Conway 73, Nicholls 10) Robinson takes the post-tea ball and sends down five on the money. A sixth is clipped down to deep square for a couple by Conway.
“There have been many comments about the heat on the OBO today,” sniffs Phil Keegan. “Well, just to put things in perspective, I am following from Hanoi where I have lived for a few years. The temperature the last few days has rarely dipped below 38 degrees, and the stifling humidity gives it a feels like factor of around 10 degrees more than that. I can’t walk my dog during the day as we would both likely keel over and die. Even my Vietnamese sweetheart is struggling with the weather. That’s heat folks.”
Ah Phil, you’ve forgotten the weather wimpishness of the average Brit, blessed as we are by the modifying gulf stream. Personally, I melt once the mercury goes over 24 degrees. And according to my phone, it is 26 DEGREES in London right now.
Tea
52nd over: New Zealand 144-3 (Conway 71, Nicholls 10) Graham Thorpe walks round the boundary and has a long chat with Ollie Pope. Who know what wisdom he’s imparting. Broad throws himself through another probing over, just the one run from it when Conway manages to get hold of a short ball. That’s it, session complete! A very middle-session middle session: 59 runs and two wickets from it - the over rate an eyebrow-kinking 13.1. Hard work for both sides, who will run away after tea? Will Conway make a century on debut? Will Robinson run through the middle-order as he’s done to so many county sides? Come back in twenty minutes to find out.
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51st over: New Zealand 142-3 (Conway 70, Nicholls 10) The penultimate over before tea, and Conway and Nicholls defend stoutly. No thought of whacking the part-time spinner dancing in their heads - perhaps Root’s pre-match kidology has foxed them. A couple of lbw shouts, but neither troubled the umpires.
50th over: New Zealand 142-3 (Conway 69, Nicholls 10) Broad, the pinkness of his face dulled by a sheen of suncream, has his hand on his hips at the end of his over. He accepts his floppy hat with a grimace of tiredness. A hundred percent pure effort topped off with a beauty last ball which nipped past Nicholls defending bat.
“Hello.” Hello Tom van der Gucht !
“I seem to remember Aftab Habib was one of my go-to players on Michael Vaughan’s 2002 Cricket Manager. I had a technique of loading my team with not-quite International quality batsmen and all-rounder / dibbley-dobbley bowlers then dominating the County scene until the game crashed around 2019. Its gameplay reminded me of C64’s Rockstar Ate My Hamster in that it had a timeless quality, went in for eons without anything really happening, was remarkably repetitive and eventually just petered out into nothingness. In a strange way, my own real.life has begun paralleling this trajectory too.”
49th over: New Zealand 142-3 (Conway 69, Nicholls 10) Conway on-drives, deliciously, un-troubled by a gentle-looking Root off-break and it hurtles over the Lord’s green for four. Four more singles pinged through for an expensive over.
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48th over: New Zealand 134-3 (Conway 63, Nicholls 8) Broad replaces Wood and is on the money immediately. He’s been bowling so well for Notts this season, and has just slipped back into that grove. In the crowd, a man in a strawberry-stripe blazer slurps a delicious looking glass of red.
“Just back from a visit to Collyweston community shop to secure a supply of ice creams to get us through the pre and post tea sessions in the searing heat here in The Notswolds,” writes Kim Thonger. “Reminded me of selling ice creams at Somerset CCC festivals at Clarence Park, Weston-super-Mare in the late 60s/early 70s. At close of play the remaining dry ice, used to keep the ice creams solid in the wooden containers from which they were sold, was tipped into the nearest dustbin and the lid was replaced. Then we small boys would gather round to cheer when the lid was subsequently blown off by the dry ice. This was the nearest I ever got to a Chemistry O Level. The nicest thing was that the players often joined the dustbin audience and signed autographs while we all waited for the explosion. I doubt that anyone ever captured such antics on camera but if they did could they please share?”
A niche request, but the OBO doesn’t usually let us down.
47th over: New Zealand 133-3 (Conway 62, Nicholls 8) Root’s overs are giving the other bowlers a chance to rest on a suncream hot day. They’ve not really had much of a time to acclimatise to these 20 degree pleasures after the frostiest April and the wettest May on record. Just a single to Conway who sees out five balls then knocks the sixth into the leg side for a single.
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46th over: New Zealand 132-3 (Conway 61, Nicholls 8) A hardworking maiden from Wood, someone give him a rubdown with a damp towel or whatever it is they do to thoroughbreds after a race.
“Re Richards email, I would say a crowd less Lord’s is one of the best crowd-less debut grounds, with the history and the long room, but it pales in comparison to many other grounds in the world for atmospheric openers. Not even the top 2 in England, below Headlingley and Edgbaston.”
Lord’s is a special kind of atmosphere - if you like it proper and establishment-raucous. I’d throw in Old Trafford with a full Test crowd, or for a Roses T20 game, as a more pints and pie alternative.
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45th over: New Zealand 132-3 (Conway 61, Nicholls 8) Root, long sleeves, slip of a boy, rubs the ball on his trousers and wheels in, twisting on his left foot pivot as he delivers. Largely unbothered, New Zealand pick four from the over.
44th over: New Zealand 128-3 (Conway 59, Nicholls 6) Mark Wood swaps ends to have a go from the Nursery End. The ball suddenly seems to misbehave, shooting through low before zipping through at helmet height. A slightly nervous Bracey fumbles with his glovework.
43rd over: New Zealand 127-3 (Conway 59, Nicholls 6) Talking of no front-line spinner, Joe Root has his first bowl of the Test, whizzing through an over while both batsmen pick up a single.
42nd over: New Zealand 125-3 (Conway 58, Nicholls 5) Robinson is a chunky guy, much more heavily built than the bamboo-svelte Broad or Anderson, and his boots will hack holes out of the the turf . The umpire seems to have a quiet word about his follow through but I didn’t spot a pencil or a notepad so I think it’s unofficial.
“Summer feels like it’s really here, and with that the now annual moan… “taps Neil Harris. “What is going on with the over rate? Is anyone serious about doing anything about it….” It’s certainly going to be a problem for England in this Test with no front-line spinner.
41st over: New Zealand 124-3 (Conway 58, Nicholls 5) Mark Wood throws himself into another exhausting over on a warm day: four 94mph balls, one 95, one 93. Conway tries to turn the last off his hip, but misses.
“A question for your Kiwi readers,” writes Richard Morris. “Of course Conway will be delighted to make 50 on debut, but genuine question - while doing it at Lords would be the extra thick Royal icing on the cake for any English player, is it the ‘best’ place for a New Zealander? or would it be more of a buzz to do it at Auckland or Canterbury?
Actually - is that even true for English players? I suspect our Yorkshire brethren are throwing things at their screen and yelling Headingley, even as I type...”
Duck, Richard!
40th over: New Zealand 120-3 (Conway 57, Nicholls 2) Thanks Rob, brilliant stuff as always. Robinson continues from the pavilion end - where lines and lines of empty white bucket seats sit. At least Taylor didn’t have to weave his way through an awkward silence when he walked back after his scratchy 14.
Just three off the over, and an lbw shout against Nicholls that Robinson fancied but Root didn’t.
Nicholls is not out! Yep, it pitched outside leg and England lose one of their three reviews. That was the last ball of the over, so it’s time for me to hand over to the great Tanya Aldred for the rest of the day. You can email her on tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com. Cheerio!
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39th over: New Zealand 117-3 (Conway 54, Nicholls 2) Wood has a big LBW shout against Nicholls turned down. It looked like it pitched well outside leg stump, but Joe Root has decided to review. I’ll be very surprised if this is out.
38th over: New Zealand 116-3 (Conway 53, Nicholls 2) The new batsman Henry Nicholls pushed his first ball past backward point for a couple.
WICKET! New Zealand 114-3 (Taylor LBW b Robinson 14)
That’s plumb. Taylor falls over towards the off side and is trapped in front by a classic nipbacker. Beautifully done by Ollie Robinson, who has two for 20 and is making a really impressive debut. Taylor goes for an extremely scratchy 14.
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37th over: New Zealand 114-2 (Conway 53, Taylor 14) With New Zealand starting to look more comfortable, Mark Wood is brought back into the attack. He starts the process of dragging Conway from his comfort zone with a lovely short ball that beats Conway’s attempted uppercut. A really good maiden from Wood.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Andrew Benzeval. “All this talk of being old, and then you point out that LRPL Taylor is somehow 37 years old. That can’t possibly be right, unless I’m now in my early for- ah.”
36th over: New Zealand 114-2 (Conway 53, Taylor 13) England go up for a leg-side strangle when Conway flicks at Robinson, but it was an autopilot appeal, with precisely 0.00 per cent conviction.
“Is there a batsman anywhere who is good as Ross Taylor is, who manages to look as scratchy as Ross Taylor does just now?” asks Max Bonnell. “If he goes on to make a score England will look back at his first 30 balls and wonder how they managed not to dismiss him.”
This was one of the 48 gazillion things I loved about Kevin Pietersen. He could look Don Bradman and Alan Mullally, sometimes in the same over.
35th over: New Zealand 110-2 (Conway 51, Taylor 13) Conway reaches a superb debut fifty in an appropriate manner, driving Broad handsomely through extra cover for four. He has played that shot beautifully. It’s been a really impressive performance: 91 balls, six fours.
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34th over: New Zealand 102-2 (Conway 47, Taylor 13) Ollie Robinson replaces Jimmy Anderson (11-2-31-1) and has a muted LBW shout against Taylor. The line was good but it was too high. Taylor then misses a cut at a big nipbacker that cramps him. That was a fine comeback over from Robinson, with no looseners in sight.
33rd over: New Zealand 102-2 (Conway 47, Taylor 13) “I went to school with Aftab,” says Mark Hooper. “My memory of his Test career was him being hyped up as the saviour of the England side, treated appalling and dropped after never being given a proper chance. It felt more like a collective failure of the selectors and management set-up than to blame a kid with no Test experience.”
Yeah, barring exceptional circumstances nobody should only get two Tests. Though it’s no excuse, England were such a mess that summer – they had no coach, at least four captains and a selection policy that was inspired by childhood games of blind man’s buff.
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32nd over: New Zealand 100-2 (Conway 46, Taylor 12) Taylor inside-edges Anderson to fine leg for a couple. Anderson throws his hands up in the air because he knows how close that was to an extremely good LBW shout. England would love to dismiss Taylor early, because if he gets in he can do all sorts of damage. When Anderson throws a tempter outside off stump, Taylor misses another booming drive - but then he shows his class with a graceful drive past mid-on for four.
31st over: New Zealand 92-2 (Conway 45, Taylor 5) Conway edges a drive at Broad on the bounce to third slip. They said it changes when the sun goes down around here, and the ball has nibbled a bit more since that happened 10-15 minutes ago.
30th over: New Zealand 91-2 (Conway 45, Taylor 4) “Afternoon, Rob,” says Richard O’Hagan. “David Bowden’s email (26th over) just sent me down the very short wormhole - more of a worm divot, really - of Aftab Habib’s Test career. I played in a charity game with him the week before his debut, in which he proved himself adept not only at dispatching Berkshire’s finest bowlers around the ground, but also at bowling with either arm and throwing the ball from behind his back. I have often wondered how he would’ve fared had he done some proper practice before the game - although his debut was a rare 1990s England victory, albeit a game that they somehow won after being 45 for seven in their first innings.”
My memory of his debut is that it was signposted in the press well in advance, in a matter-of-fact way, even though he’d never been on an A tour and wasn’t in particularly good form at the start of the season.
29th over: New Zealand 91-2 (Conway 45, Taylor 4) Broad appeals unsuccesfully for LBW when Taylor falls over towards the off side. It looked like it was going down, though Joe Root did discuss a review before deciding against it. Two balls later, Taylor is beaten by a jaffa that straightens sharply. He’s beaten again, recklessly chasing a wide outswinger, and then again off the last ball. That was a quite majestic maiden over from Broad.
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28th over: New Zealand 91-2 (Conway 45, Taylor 4) Conway, who has been quiet either side of lunch, drives Anderson for a single. The cheap wicket of Williamson is such a bonus for England, though they still have a lot of work to do as New Zealand bat very deep. Even the No11, Neil Wagner, has a highest Test score of 66.
Jimmy Anderson, by the way, now has 615 Test wickets. He’s four behind Anil Kumble, who is No3 on the all-time list.
27th over: New Zealand 89-2 (Conway 44, Taylor 3) Broad returns to the attack, probably with Ross Taylor in mind - he has dismissed him 10 times in Test cricket, more than anyone else. England have only gone and looked at the data, haven’t they. Taylor is beaten by a good delivery and then signals to the balcony for some eye drops - either that or, as Bumble suggests on Sky, a glass of red wine.
26th over: New Zealand 87-2 (Conway 44, Taylor 1) Ross Taylor is the new batter, which means we have a 38-year-old bowling to a 37-year-old. There’s hope for us all some of you.
“Hi Rob,” says David Bowden. “I suspect Robin Hazelhurst (12:39) has blocked out that 1999 series in terms of humiliations. I’d only just properly gotten into cricket on the back of the South Africa series & the Channel 4 excitement, and that series was both a crash course and agonisingly drawn out education in Watching England In The Nineties. Have been full of love and admiration for New Zealand cricket ever since but I hope our brave boys today don’t forget they’re avenging the memories of poor cowering Chris Read, the vast batless plains around Aftab Habib’s off stump & Peter Such’s battling 51-ball duck.”
Great days. My abiding memory has four words and nine syllables: Caddick, Mullally, Tufnell, Giddins.
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That’s the seventh time he has dismissed Williamson in Test cricket, more than anyone else. It was a really good delivery from Anderson, which jagged back from a length. Williamson played a solid-looking defensive stroke, but he was a fraction too late and the ball deflected back onto the off stump.
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WICKET! New Zealand 86-2 (Williamson b Anderson 13)
Jimmy Anderson gets Kane Williamson in the first over after lunch!
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The players are back out. The weather remains glorious, and there’s a century out there for someone.
“I haven’t seen any of the Test so far, just followed it on the OBO,” says Steve Hudson. “You say Wood has averaged virtually 94mph today – that’s faster than I can ever remember an English bowler bowling before. Does it LOOK that quick? Or could it be that some speedguns tend to err on the speedy side of strictly accurate? I seem to remember a few years ago South African speedguns seemed to exaggerate all bowling speeds by a few mph.”
It looks that quick, and it’s consistent with his speeds since he changed his run-up. I think the technology is pretty good these days. It’s certainly come a long way from the early speedgun that had Mark Ealham bowling faster than Wasim Akram at Lord’s in 1996.
Lunch
25th over: New Zealand 85-1 (Conway 43, Williamson 13) Another yeasty over from Wood, a maiden to Williamson, takes us to lunch. It’s been a good morning for New Zealand, who won a decent toss and batted sensibly to reach 85 for one. The first session of the series was dominated by two debutants: Devon Conway played some stylish drives in his unbeaten 43, and Ollie Robinson picked up his first Test wicket when Tom Latham dragged on. See you in half an hour!
24th over: New Zealand 85-1 (Conway 43, Williamson 13) Anderson has another strangled shout for LBW against Conway. There was a late inside-edge, without which Conway would have been in big trouble. A maiden from Anderson, who has been as parsimonious as ever: 7-1-19-0.
“Andrew Moore wants us not to create a narrative that doesn’t exist,” says Felix Wood. “The day he meets humans is going to be an upsetting one for him.”
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23rd over: New Zealand 85-1 (Conway 43, Williamson 13) Williamson plays a slightly loose drive at Wood, which takes a thick edge and flies wide of the slips for four. Wood’s speeds this morning have been hella (that’s right) impressive: his fastest ball was 95.2mph, and his average speed is almost 94mph.
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22nd over: New Zealand 81-1 (Conway 43, Williamson 9) With 15 minutes until lunch, James Anderson replaces Ollie Robinson (6-2-17-1). Anderson has a good record against Williamson; no bowler has dismissed him as often in Test cricket. Williamson, beaten by the second ball, flicks the third into the leg side for three.
“Robinson has impressed on debut but I’ve been particularly struck by Conway, a really elegant left-hander with shades of Gower about him,” says Colum Fordham. “I realise this is a green strip, but I think England have missed a trick by not including Leach. The Kiwis have a very useful left-arm spinner in Santner and he may prove crucial as the test goes on.”
Agreed. England do have Joe Root and Dan Lawrence, and they won’t be bowling last, but it was still a bit of a surprise.
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21st over: New Zealand 76-1 (Conway 41, Williamson 6) Wood hits Conway on the arm again, this time from round the wicket, and then beats him with a trampolining lifter. This is excellent stuff from Wood, the hot hot heat that England have craved. Conway responds with a stylish flick-pull for four, albeit with the aid of a misfield from Crawley on the fence at midwicket.
“As a Somerset fan, this is the worst possible scenario,” says Mark Hooper. “Leach and Overton constantly being called up for the Test squad but not playing - ditto Gregory & Banton for the short-form squads - when we potentially have our best chance of winning the Championship.”
I’m not sure how the bubbles will work this summer, particularly after 21st June, so it might not be too bad. You won’t see Leach but the others could be available.
20th over: New Zealand 72-1 (Conway 37, Williamson 6) Robinson to Williamson, round two. He continues to hammer a fifth-stump line, then starts to get closer as the over progresses. Williamson is slightly late on his defensive stroke to the fifth delivery, which prompts a few oohs and aash. Another maiden from Robinson, who has made an encouraging start.
“Hi Rob,” says Robin Hazlehurst. “Maybe England fans are not as nervous or bothered about New Zealand as about Australia because we don’t have too many memories of being humiliated by them? Losing to them yes, but not that cringing despair that Australia have inflicted at times. Even if NZ win this series 2-0 and both Tests inside three days, it probably wouldn’t feel like a humiliation, because, y’know, circumstances.”
ROBINSON STRIKES! 💥
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) June 2, 2021
A maiden Test wicket for Ollie Robinson - and a much-needed breakthrough for England - as Tom Latham (23) chops on. #ENGvNZ
📺 Watch 👉 https://t.co/bT0CP9Q8No
📋 Scorecard 👉 https://t.co/XHzvyBuAVs
📱 Live blog 👉 https://t.co/DaBlkZgc4W pic.twitter.com/ykuWiprvWi
19th over: New Zealand 72-1 (Conway 37, Williamson 6) Conway thumps Wood past mid-off for four, a lovely drive and an impressive response to being hit at the end of Wood’s first over. Then Williamson gets his first boundary with a classy square drive. This being a day of the week, he looks in excellent touch.
“A lot of people seem to be falling over themselves to claim how it is such an outrage that NZ are so underrated, yet most of the commentary and comment I have read has been about how good this side are,” says Andrew Moore. “Let’s not create a narrative that doesn’t exist.”
As we discussed earlier, I think it’s mainly an unconscious thing. That’s what it makes interesting.
18th over: New Zealand 62-1 (Conway 32, Williamson 1) Williamson is beaten by a good delivery from Robinson that holds its line outside off stump. Robinson spoke about Plan A for Williamson before the game, and it’s clear he is trying to drag Williamson across his crease. He ends a terrific over, his first maiden, by beating Williamson again outside off stump.
17th over: New Zealand 62-1 (Conway 32, Williamson 1) Now then. It’s time for a change of pace, with Mark Wood replacing Stuart Broad (7-2-22-0). His first ball, timed at 91mph, is inside edged for a couple by Conway. A single brings the new batsman Kane Williamson on strike; he leans into his first ball and drops it for a single on the off side. A lively over from Wood ends with a 95mph bumper that thumps Conway on the arm.
“There has been a lot of respect shown to NZ’s bowling attack, but not enough to the batting lineup,” says G Play. “Four guys averaging over 40, the best keeper batsman since Gilchrist, and the new Mike Hussey on debut.”
I wouldn’t go that far, though I know what you mean. I think everyone knows about Williamson’s serene genius, but Latham and Watling in particular are a bit underrated.
16th over: New Zealand 58-1 (Conway 29, Williamson 0) That was the last ball of the over. It’s been a promising start from Robinson, whose height and seam movement make him an awkward customer.
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WICKET! New Zealand 58-1 (Latham b Robinson 23)
A first Test wicket for Ollie Robinson! Latham felt tentatively outside off stump and dragged the ball onto the stumps. I think he was unsettled by the previous delivery, which snapped sharply off the seam to beat the outside edge.
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15th over: New Zealand 56-0 (Latham 22, Conway 28) Too straight from Broad, and Latham rolls the wrists to put him away for four. He’s a fine player, who averages 55 in his last 20 Tests, though he is beaten on the drive later in the over. After seven overs, it’s probably time for Broad to be replaced by Mark Wood.
14th over: New Zealand 51-0 (Latham 18, Conway 28) Conway drives Robinson pleasantly through mid-off for three to bring up an assured fifty partnership. At 29, Conway looks like he knows his game like the back of his bat.
13th over: New Zealand 47-0 (Latham 17, Conway 25) Latham rides a lifter from Broad and steers it to third man for his first boundary. That was a really accomplished stroke. As the clock ticks past midday, the camera cuts to a member in his egg and bacon tie, pouring some fizz into a metal beaker. It’s also time for the players to take drinks.
“Enjoying the coverage of the Test and how Conway has looked so far,” says Ben Macintyre. “I noticed you mentioned that English coverage tends to patronise NZ to which I would like - having seen the side go to #1 in the world and soundly beat India at home as well as England - to add a contrarian view. Lads, it’s England.”
I don’t think any reasonable England fan would have a problem with that, as there is a bit of Spursyness about most of our sports teams. What intrigues me about the patronising attitude towards New Zealand is that it’s almost entirely unconscious. It’s why most people at Lord’s were nowhere near as nervous before the World Cup final as they had been before the semi-final against Australia.
12th over: New Zealand 41-0 (Latham 11, Conway 25) A moment of fortune for Conway, who edges an expansive drive off Robinson for four. That could easily have gone to hand. Joe Root brings in a fourth slip as a result.
“Morning Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Gary Naylor’s examples of named player exhortations had me reflexively reaching for one of my pre-penned homages to Paul Simon, ‘Fifty Ways to Lose Your Wicket’. This includes such lines as ‘Miss a straight ball, Paul’ and ‘Pad up and pray, Ray’. As followers of CCLive! will testify, there’s plenty more where that came from ...”
Both above and below the line, that bloody county blog is in serious danger of giving the internet a good name.
11th over: New Zealand 35-0 (Latham 11, Conway 19) Broad changes ends to replace Anderson (5-0-14-0) and promptly beats Latham with a nice lifting delivery. The ball has gone past the edge a few times; even so, most of the early signs point to a day of hard yakka for England’s all-seam attack.
“Have Leach and Overton been released to play for Somerset against Hampshire tomorrow?” says Sam Tarr. “Asking for a friend...”
Arf. I assume not because of the Covid bubble, or whatever we’re supposed to call it now. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve completely lost track of what you can and can’t do, and I’m also getting a bit fed up of people gawping at me when I pick my nose in Tesco’s. A bit of privacy, please.
10th over: New Zealand 35-0 (Latham 11, Conway 19) The debutant Ollie Robinson replaces Broad (4-1-12-0). He has a lot going for him - height, seam movement, accuracy and aggression - and I can’t wait to see him in action. Robinson’s languid run-up and action remind me a bit of Derek Pringle, though Angus Fraser is the most common comparison.
His first delivery is a no-ball, but his line and length are spot on from the start. Conway flicks off the pads for a couple and then fences a legcutter through gully for two more.
9th over: New Zealand 30-0 (Latham 11, Conway 15) There’s a strangled LBW shout when Anderson swings one back into Conway’s pads. It was comfortably missing leg stump. He switches around the wicket to Latham, who offers no stroke a delivery timed at 88mph. Anderson turns 39 next month and he’s still capable of bowling at 88mph.
8th over: New Zealand 29-0 (Latham 11, Conway 14) Nothing much is happening for England, though Broad in particular is persisting with an attacking length to the left-handers. He beats Latham, who upbraids himself for fishing well wide of off stump.
“Why is Chris Broad officiating at this Test match when his son is playing in it?” asks Andrew Bell.
They have stopped using neutral umpires and match referees because of Covid, and I think Chris Broad is the only English referee on the elite panel. He fined Stuart last summer.
7th over: New Zealand 29-0 (Latham 11, Conway 14) Conway gets four more, this time off Anderson, with a lovely extra cover drive. He hasn’t been watertight this morning, though, and an inside edge flies past leg stump off the next delivery.
“Maybe a shout out for Holland vs Ireland being played today as part of the ICC Super League,” says Jerry Dawson. “For the first time ever, a cricket game is being broadcast live on Dutch TV. Though so far, not doing the Dutch team much good – they lost their first five wickets for 53.”
6th over: New Zealand 23-0 (Latham 10, Conway 9) Conway gets his first boundary with a crisp cover drive off Broad, and plays the shot again next ball for a couple. An affronted Broad responds with a sharp legcutter that beats the edge. Before the game, Simon Doull said Conway is New Zealand’s most exciting find since Kane Williamson. His career statistics are pretty spectacular.
“Looking back on the coverage from the 2015 series, I see that the Lord’s Test was covered by our late, much missed, Dan Lucas,” says Simon Thomas. “What a joy his commentary was. So raising a glass to him this morning (if I wasn’t working).”
It’s hard to believe he’s been gone almost five years. Never mind the cricket – there is so much great music that I want to play to him so that he can tell me how rubbish it is and how much of an old man I am.
5th over: New Zealand 16-0 (Latham 10, Conway 2) The pitch looks really good. There has been a bit of movement, swing rather than seam, but nothing to alarm Latham and Conway. Latham forces Anderson through mid-on for a couple, and that’s your lot.
“Bit disappointing that Sky are playing a soundtrack from a village match under the pictures,” says Gary Naylor, “with lots of ‘C’mon lads’ and ‘Lovely stuff’. Surely if it were from the effects mics at Lord’s, we’d have ‘Execute your plans Stu’ and ‘Active rest at the end of the over Jimmy’.”
4th over: New Zealand 14-0 (Latham 8, Conway 2) It’s time for our first look at the debutant Devon Conway. He gets his first runs in Test cricket with a thick inside edge off Broad, who gets a bit greedy as a result and tries for the LBW next ball. Nice plan, shame about the execution: Broad strays onto the pads and the ball runs away for four leg-byes.
3rd over: New Zealand 8-0 (Latham 8, Conway 0) Burns saves a couple of good runs with a good stop at backward point, and then sprints back to stop a thick edge from Latham reaching the boundary. Anderson’s last delivery is a good one that snakes back to beat Latham on the inside.
“I know it’s not the point you were making, but between your mention of bar snacks, the weather over the last few days, and the fact that Test Cricket Is Only Bleeding Happening, I cannot think of anywhere I’d rather be than sat in the Sand Bar in Tenby, with wasabi peas and a glass of beer,” hics Matt Dony. “Feels like summer.”
Wasabi peas. I bet you take the Observer on a Sunday. (NB: clip contains East End language.)
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2nd over: New Zealand 4-0 (Latham 4, Conway 0) Stuart Broad, who is vice-captain in this game, shares the new ball. He starts round the wicket to Latham, the angle that has brought him so much success against David Warner in particular. When he strays onto the pads, Latham puts him away behind square for a couple. A single off the last ball means the debutant Conway will have to wait a little longer to face his first ball in Test cricket.
“Tremendous to hear that England are planning seven straight wins before the Ashes,” says Pete Salmon. “Is anyone running a book on when that will be put to one side. I’m going with tea on day two tomorrow. Prove me wrong Engurland!”
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1st over: New Zealand 1-0 (Latham 1, Conway 0) James Anderson, the man with 614 Test wickets, takes the first over. There’s a little bit of swing to the left-handed Tom Latham, who survives an optimistic LBW appeal from the fifth ball. It pitched well outside leg.
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The players are applauded onto the field by other human beings. It’s such a thrill to have crowds back, especially in such glorious weather.
“What is going on mate?” says Amod Paranjape. “Not a single mail of pessimism from the English supporters. Really.”
‘Lads, it’s New Zealand.’
“Interesting comment that England are only missing Stokes, Buttler and Archer from their ‘best XI’,” says Jonathan McKinley. “Which of the three chosen for this match would you replace? Crawley, Bracey and Wood? Presumably there would be room for Leach also (for Robinson?) in the right conditions. Or do we say goodbye to Broad?”
So much depends on conditions and context, and the picture changes all the time. But if England were playing the first Ashes Test in Brisbane tomorrow, and everyone was fit, I think the team would be Burns, Sibley, Crawley, Root, Stokes, Pope, Buttler, Archer, Leach, Wood, Broad or Anderson.
“I’m really looking forward to this series - especially as I have tickets for the Edgbaston Test - but I’m struggling to pick a winner,” writes Steven Pye. “Is it cowardly to sit on the fence and predict 1-1?”
I’d prefer that to 0-1, which, as Steven writes here, was the score in 1986.
“No Jack Leach, no specialist spinner?” says Henry Lubienski. “We’re moving into uncomfortable territory here. Either they’re completely daft or I’m completely daft. Could you (gently) offer a judgement?”
Given the weather I would have played Leach, probably ahead of Robinson, but I can honestly see both sides. This fence gets more comfortable by the day.
“Morning, Rob, and a fine one it is too, very suitable for the start of the summer proper,” writes John Starbuck. “I can’t help feeling that a preamble takes place just before a stroll around the ground but it’s still worth doing. Anyway, don’t worry about patronising people such as the Kiwis, since we all do it, even them. It must be in the game’s DNA to have encouraging appreciation of one’s opponents, at least in public. What happens in the dressing room tends to stay there, unless an injury occurs.”
“Greetings from the Emerald Isle!” writes Séin Healy. “Giddy for what will be almost six months, of top-quality cricket, although the Ashes might impact my sleep (and drinking) plans over the festive period. I am sure may have asked already, but can you put the word out for the TMS overseas link please? They seem to have buried it even deeper in the depths of the interest these days for us wanting to listen in Ireland. Thanks a mill and enjoy the next five (probably three) days.”
I think we might see a few more five-day Tests this summer, as England are apparently keen to play the long game in preparation for the Ashes.
In the 2021 County Championship, we've seen 132 wickets fall at Lord's - just six of them have come from spinners. Spin has averaged 33 at Lord's this season compared to 20 for pace. Will either side play a specialist spinner? #ENGvNZ
— The CricViz Analyst (@cricvizanalyst) June 2, 2021
And this piece, from Tim de Lisle, has more good lines and observations than most writers manage in a calendar year.
New Zealand’s last Test on this ground, six years ago, was a feelgood classic. Andrew Miller, Cricinfo UK editor and friend of the OBO, has written a belting piece on the significance of a magical match.
Fantasy Cricket
The nice folk on the county blog have set up a fantasy league for the T20 blast. If you want to join, click this little thing. The code is NEKVIVOO.
The teams
Jack Leach has been omitted, a dubious decision though not a surprising one. There are three debutants: James Bracey, Ollie Robinson and the New Zealand opener Devon Conway. With New Zealand batting, all three will be front and centre this morning.
England Burns, Sibley, Crawley, Root, Pope, Lawrence, Bracey (wk), Robinson, Wood, Broad, Anderson.
New Zealand Latham, Conway, Williamson (c), Taylor, Nicholls, Watling (wk), de Grandhomme, Santner, Jamieson, Southee, Wagner.
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Joe Root says England would have batted as well, though he doesn’t seem too disappointed - there’s a decent amount of grass on the pitch so England have the chance to do some damage this morning.
New Zealand have won the toss and will bat first
Kane Williamson says it looks a good pitch. They are playing a spinner, Mitch Santner, so bowling last in these conditions could be a decent advantage.
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There are plenty of interesting subplots in this game. Two, in particular, stand out. The six England batsmen not called Joe Root are battling for four places against India, and New Zealand want to improve their away record. Just playing away from home helps - this is only their third series since 2016.
James Bracey and Ollie Robinson will make their Test debuts. It looks like England have omitted Jack Leach, which is a bit of a gamble given the glorious weather in north London. I’m really excited to see Robinson in particular. His record since the start of the 2018 season is outrageous: 195 wickets at 17.29. And he can bat.
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Preamble
New Zealand are usually the hors d’oeuvre of the English summer. They come over for two or three Tests, are unintentionally patronised whenever they win or lose, and then leave before the main event. This year, they are more like the complimentary bar snack you receive when your table is late. Their two-Test series against England isn’t even on the menu, also known in some cultures as the Future Tours Programme; nor is it part of the next World Test Championship. And though this is 3rd v 2nd in the Test rankings, it is seen by most as a glorified warm-up for more important matches against the No1 side, India. New Zealand play them in the World Test Championship final later this month; England’s five-Test series kicks off in August.
Test cricket may not yet have a second division, but it has multiple tiers. For a variety of reasons – the schedule, the FTP, the WTC, the IPL, the OCG – some games are bigger than others. England’s five Test series in 2021 could probably be split into three levels.
- Tier 1 Australia (A)
- Tier 2 India (A), India (H)
- Tier 3 Sri Lanka (A), New Zealand (H)
There is a lot of sincere admiration for world cricket’s great overachievers (see, I’ve done it! I’ve patronised them without realising!) within English cricket. But there’s also a subconscious voice that will forever say, ‘Lads, it’s New Zealand’. On the face of it, this is another example of England telling New Zealand how great they are while simultaneously belitting them. But as Grady Tripp would say, it’s a little more complicated than that. New Zealand will be back next summer for a more ostensibly meaningful series, albeit still as the warm-up act. These two Tests, added to the schedule at the last minute, are essentially a goodwill gesture to broadcasters.
Money is the main motivation, there’s no point saying otherwise, but there is a bit more to it than that. With the return of crowds at Lord’s and Edgbaston, this series feels like a modern take on the Victory Tests of 1945. Let’s hope somebody catches the mood and plays like Keith Miller did then.
There are a few contenders, from Joe Root to the exciting debutant Devon Conway (check out these numbers). For all the talk of England’s rotation, the standard of the cricket, especially the fast bowling, will be high. And this is not, as some have suggested, as England A team. They are missing only Ben Stokes, Jos Buttler and Jofra Archer from their best XI, if such a thing exists anymore, and Stokes and Archer are injured anyway.
New Zealand are without Trent Boult because of his post-IPL isolation, yet they still have a brainy, brawny seam attack* of Tim Southee, Neil Wagner and the fascinating Kyle Jamieson. As bar snacks go, this is definitely more Hawksmoor than Jefferson Davis Wetherspoons.
* Is that patronising as well? I’m getting paranoid now
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