Australia complete their biggest ever win at Twickenham and England are out of their own World Cup before the pool stage is even over. The match very rarely got close to tight, if we’re honest, as Australia were better at, well, every single thing. Kicking, tackling, passing, running, rucking, mauling, scrummaging, lineout jumping... England were a shambolic second best at all.
I’ve got to dash sadly, but there will be plenty of post-mortem bits and bobs on this here very site soon enough. Australia go through, Wales too and the twix shall meet to decide who finishes top of the pile on Saturday.
Thanks for reading and thank you for all your emails and tweets. Sorry I couldn’t use them all. I’m off to drink. Bye.
Full-time: England 13-33 Australia ENGLAND ARE OUT!
From wide on the right, Foley slots it with the final kick of the match.
Updated
That was ridiculous. England’s defensive organisation saw Brookes in the outside centre position against Ashley-Cooper.
Try! (Giteau 80) England 13-31 Australia
It’s an utter thrashing. From the turnover it’s simply spun quickly wide to the right and, in a flash, Giteau goes surging over in the corner.
Updated
79 min Australia’s defensive organisation is quite something and they get back, drive England back to halfway and win a ninth turnover...
78 min England steal the Australian lineout on their own 22, but Pocock wins yet another turnover on the floor and Australia rumble forward, only for Brown to rip it back. The ball goes right and Watson turns on the gas, flying and stepping up to halfway.
77 min Australia make their final change, with McCalman replacing Fardy. England recover the ball from the restart, but we can stick a fork in this one. Kruis knocks it on on the Australian 10 metre line. Australia absolutely monster the scrum, England fall apart and it’s another penalty.
Updated
Penalty (Foley 76) England 13-26 Australia
Foley maintains his perfect record and prevents my preamble from being exactly right about everything.
Updated
74 min You will be entirely unsurprised to know that this scrum is taking an age. Brookes goes to ground as Slipper goes as low as is legally possible and that’s a fifth scrum penalty to Australia.
73 min Ford restarts short but Mumm takes it excellently. England come back, but it’s slow ball as they go from their own 10 metre line. With nothing happening, Easter knocks on.
Penalty (Foley 72) England 13-23 Australia
From right in front, 30 metres out, Foley takes the record for the most points by an Australian in a single match against England.
That was harsh call on Farrell, as Giteau and Hooper executed a scissor move, with Giteau actually the intended dummy runner, but the ball bouncing off him as Farrell hit him.
Yellow card for Farrell, whose tackle was mistimed and thus off the ball too.
Updated
71 min Australia go right off the top of the lineout and Giteau loses it forward when Farrell goes without the arms. At the same time, Burgess smashes the dummy runner Hooper round the neck, off the ball. That’s a penalty for either of them.
70 min Good scrum from England, but it’s wasted as they go down the short side to Watson, who slices his kick ahead straight into touch from five metres outside his 22.
Updated
69 min England make their final change as Kruis comes on for Launchbury. Meanwhile, while we wait for this scrum to be reset – England should have a penalty as Holmes pops up, but it’s missed by George Clancy on the touchline – some Twilight Zone stuff.
@DanLucas86 Just went to check the rugby score and freaked out when I saw my own name. Hi fellow Dan Lucas!
— Daniel Lucas (@MrDJLucas) October 3, 2015
68 min Twickenham is rather noisy now, as the crowd sense that England are right back in this. Foley looks for a gap again, but Wood closes it and shakes the ball from the fly-half’s hands. Knock on and England have a scrum 10 metres outside their 22.
67 min It was Moore, Folau and Simmons who went off for Australia. The Wallabies have a lineout just outside the 22 now after Ford cleared to touch and now Foley steps and darts at the line, looking for space, but when it comes back inside Wigglesworth hits Toomua and wins the turnover. Brown’s clearance is charged down, but it ends up in the hands of Joseph. Kicks are exchanged, and Australia carry up to the England 10 metre line.
66 min That was a much better performance from Barritt, who made 13 tackles and didn’t miss one. Polota-Nau, Mumm and Toomua come on for Australia.
Updated
Penalty (Farrell 65) England 13-20 Australia
One score in it, as Barritt hobbles off and Burgess comes on.
64 min Australia go through the phases, but England are offering no quarter and drive them back out the 22. Some loose passing sees the ball go to ground behind the three-quarters. Ford hacks upfield and England get the penalty when Australia hold on on the floor. It’s right in front of the posts, just 30 metres out!
63 min Simmons takes it and the driving maul heads towards the line. It goes to ground, but it’s there for Phipps and Australia go through the pick and drive, before spreading it left.
62 min Ah, Hooper wins another turnover penalty on the floor as he gets the better of Wood. Foley puts it out on the right, 10 out from the England line.
61 min More interminable kicking, before Wigglesworth finds touch with a good kick down the England right, 10 metres inside the Australia half. Phipps on for Genia, Webber for Tom Youngs as Parling steals the lineout! You just feel the tide is turning a touch here.
60 min Back and forth go the kicks, to no great end, before Folau runs it back and is cut down by Farrell around halfway. Genia puts the box kick to touch near the 22, but England go quickly and Brown kicks clear.
Updated
59 min England need to be careful here – Ford will be disappointed not to have made more ground with his clearance. Australia go back and forth across the pitch, before Tom Youngs nicks the ball off Genia and Wigglesworth clears.
58 min Australia change their props: Sio and Kepu off, Slipper and Holmes off. Ford clears to touch midway inside his own half from the restart. England also decide to make a change, with Easter replacing Morgan.
Conversion (Farrell 57) England 10-20 Australia
Farrell slots it from the touchline and it’s back on!
Updated
Try! (Watson 56) England 8-20 Australia
Now it goes right and Wood drives into the 22. Left they go, Vunipola carries on and England have advantage as they get it left via Farrell, Brookes and Morgan. Back inside it comes and Launchbury sends a looping pass out wide to Watson. He puts his foot down from the 22, uses his strength to hold off Giteau and go over on the right!
Updated
55 min England get it from the scrum, but it’s slow ball as they crab across the pitch. Hooper and Pocock are forcing them to throw so many men into the rucks and England have been driven back a good 20 metres.
54 min England are driven off the ball as Moore puts enormous pressure on Tom Youngs. England are very fortunate that Poite goes for the reset. Cole’s day is done, with Kieran Brookes replacing him.
53 min England want a penalty for a deliberate knock on, but a check with the TMO confirms it isn’t. Dan Cole is lucky as he tugged the man back to prevent him from gathering the ball. We stick with the first offence and England have a scrum on the 22, on the left.
52 min A huge moment this and Parling takes it. England form the driving maul, but there’s no forward momentum and England go through the backs. Farrell gives it to Brown, who offloads first time but Watson can only take it on the floor. Back left it goes and Ashley-Cooper nearly has the interception, but knocks on.
51 min A good carry from Wood takes England over the gainline, but we go back for an advantage as Robshaw, the dummy runner, was clattered off the ball by Douglas. A clear penalty that, and England put it into the corner on the left.
50 min Double change for England as Ben Youngs makes way for Wigglesworth and Marler, who has had a shocker, is replaced by Vunipola. That might be the end of Marler’s Test career.
Penalty (Foley 50) England 3-20 Australia
From 15 metres in from the left, Foley slots it coolly. All 20 points for the fly-half now.
“You are definitely not straight,” Poite tells Marler.
“Is he straight?” asks David Brent the prop.
“Yes.”
48 min Huge scrum from Australia, Dan Cole is shoved miles backwards and that’s another scrum penalty.
Updated
47 min England stick seven in the lineout, Australia only had six and that’s a free-kick to the Wallabies. Australia elect to take the scrum, which should tell you a lot.
46 min Scrappy lineout ball but Australia get it and get it left quickly enough. Back infield it comes and Australia pick and drive 40 metres out. Giteau sends a cute chip to touch on the left, the ball deflecting off Morgan on it’s way to touch on the 22.
45 min A game: guess who gets over the ball perfectly at the breakdown on the 22 and earns Australia a penalty? Pocock is killing England here. The penalty is kicked to touch on England’s 10 metre line, down the Australia right.
Updated
44 min Good work from England disrupting the scrum, but it’s Australia ball. Genia is left exposed by his back row though and Launchbury charges the box kick down again and England have it, working the ball left.
43 min Ford puts it up high and Watson knocks on from the chase. A good kick that, but England aren’t winning the aerial challenges. May is a huge, huge loss.
42 min Left go Australia looking for gaps. Genia slips down the short side, but he’s taken into touch on the left. May was apparently injured in the first half, so Farrell goes to 12, Barritt to 13 and Joseph to the wing. Youngs’ throw is too long and Australia win it, but Genia’s chip over the top cedes possession back to England deep in their own territory.
41 min Foley restarts and England narrowly regather in the 22, with Beale haring after it. Farrell clears and Ashley-Cooper runs back up to 40 metres.
England make a change. Ford is coming on – an admission from Lancaster that he got it wrong? May is off. Yeah they got it very wrong.
@danlucas86 England look OK apart from the passing. And the tackling. And the scrums. What else is there?
— Beau Dure (@duresport) October 3, 2015
@danlucas86 no brains in england's attacking. compare it to Aus and we look bereft of ideas. Where are guys likd Eaatmond and Slade?
— Paul Waggott (@paultwaggott) October 3, 2015
@DanLucas86 well, I'm cracking open the gin. Only way I'm going to get through this :( #ENGvAUS
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@WriterLiz81) October 3, 2015
Half-time emails dept.
“It’s OK, because England have a bench bursting with pace and devilry. Don’t we?” writes Joe Winder.
Chris English is rather more brutal: “Thank God England are not going to qualify from the so- called ‘Pool of Death’ just imagine how bad it would have been when their pathetic brand of bland rugby got them knocked out from a weaker group!”
Matt Dony is presumably grinning when he writes: “In fairness, you’d have to say that Australia owe England a home-World-Cup disappointment. They could at least have the good grace to add a sense of drama, though...”
The biggest worry for England, static defending aside, is that Joe Marler has twice been penalised for scrummaging at an angle. Rightly or wrongly, he’s on the wrong side of the referee and that could be fatal.
Well that flew by. It’s all looking a bit ominous for England; we’re not yet at this stage, but if Australia score first then we probably will be.
Half-time: England 3-17 Australia
40 min Wood wins the lineout on halfway and England fling it quickly right, but the passing along the line isn’t clean. Penalty against Kuridrani for not rolling away and Ben Youngs takes it quickly, getting up to the Australian 10 metre line. Brown carries it on making ground, then England go left, but Farrell knocks on in the tackle.
39 min Now it comes right and Folau gets it out to Ashley-Cooper. He’s stopped by a typically strong tackle from Brown, then Hooper comes flying into the ruck with his shoulder and gives away the penalty.
38 min Lineout to Australia just outside the England 22 as May slices a clearance to touch. Hooper takes it and the maul drives up to the 22. Tom Youngs gets in well to stop the drive.
Updated
37 min Giteau is forced on to his right boot with the clearance and England have it centrefield just over halfway. May and Morgan takes them up to the 22, but yet again it’s lost forward when Ben Youngs goes sniping and gets isolated. England were so static for that second try.
Conversion (Foley 26) England 3-17 Australia
This is bad for England. This is very, very good for Australia and Wales.
Updated
Try! (Foley 35) England 3-15 Australia
Australia take it quickly off the top and go left. Back it comes to Foley and he switches direction, giving to Beale off the wing, looping round, taking the return pass and going under the posts. England cut to absolute ribbons there.
Updated
34 min Penalty Australia at the scrum, again against Marler for boring in. Giteau kicks to touch midway inside the England half and this is looking ominous for England.
We’re going to blow them away in the first 20 minutes
– Ben Youngs
33 min Now Australia pop it out right with a series of short passes, but the final one, from Pococok over the top to Ashley-Cooper, is called forward. Incorrectly too, as it actually bounced backwards off an England shirt.
32 min England spill it from the drop out and Australia get the ball back. Folau steps again and looks to go through the middle, but Robshaw closes the gap well.
Updated
31 min Up to the 22 now and England go right through the backs. Tom Youngs takes it into contact, but that man Pocock is there again to win the turnover. Australia take it up to their 22, but Genia’s box kick is charged down by Launchbury. Farrell hacks ahead and chases, but loses his footing and Folau touches down.
Updated
30 min Parling takes it again and England form a maul on halfway. May comes inside looking for space, but there’s no room. Still, they flick it down the blindside and Launchbury of all people rumbles forwards.
29 min Penalty England as Australia engage far too early. An easy one to spot with the 22 metre line right there in the middle of the scrum. Farrell clears to touch up near halfway and England complete a hugely satisfactory defensive move.
28 min The throw misses its target, but Simmons takes it anyway. Good work from Robshaw and Morgan at the maul though as they wedge themselves in the middle of it and earn England a scrum on their own 22.
Updated
27 min Giteau, the left-footed kicker, drills the penalty into touch on the England 22.
26 min Australia get the scrum 12 metres inside their own half and indeed they get the penalty for Marler turning in on the angle. That’s not a good sign for England, if Poite is blaming him for that.
25 min England win their own lineout midway inside their own half (I misjudged where it went out a minute ago). Farrell boots it miles and miles in the air, giving May time to chase, but the Gloucester wing knocks it forward when looking to regather.
24 min Now it goes right, with Barritt popping it out to Joseph, who finds Morgan and the No8 sets the maul. That goes nowhere, so England go back inside and, even though England hold on in the tackle, Pocock wins the turnover. An exchange of kicks and the net result is Beale finding touch around halfway.
23 min Parling takes the lineout and England quickly put width on it, with Joseph so close to slipping through a gap. Back left they come and May steps inside, moving into the 22 before being chopped down by Genia.
Updated
22 min Beale regathers the restart, it comes infield and Foley, from under his posts, finds touch on the right over halfway.
Conversion (Foley 21) England 3-10 Australia
From about 10 metres to the right of the posts, Foley knocks the extras through.
Updated
Try! (Foley 20) England 3-8 Australia
Folau slips looking to go down the outside, then Giteau is smashed by Youngs. It comes back right and Kepu makes ground, the prop offloading beautifully out the back of his hand. It’s recycled quickly from Genia to Foley and the 10 dummies, slips through and steps out of Brown’s tackle to score.
Updated
19 min Left it goes and Beale has to take Giteau’s pass above his head. He pops it back inside to Folau, but Australia have no momentum and are driven back to the 22.
18 min It’s a mighty battle up front and the scrum is a total mess. England’s defence comes up as Australia drive through the forwards, Hooper going through the middle and up to within five.
17 min Now Australia go on the pick and drive, England doing well to keep them in the tight. They do less well as Folau runs into the line from deep and slips through two tackles. Foley stabs a grubber through and Brown, fielding it off his feet, knocks on 17 metres from his own line.
16 min Moore’s throw is taken by Simmons and Pocock comes round the corner into contact.
@DanLucas86 We've a problem here in Acapulco. I am Welsh and my Mexican wife insists on cheering for the men in white. This could end badly
— Satch of Bridgend (@SatchofBridgend) October 3, 2015
You must be going loco down there.
15 min The crowd is buzzing as England go right, but there’s nothing happening there. Back left and Farrell loops round and throws a pass back to Joseph’s boots, which is knocked on. Genia kicks over the top into space, so May has to go back and clear to touch on his own 10 metre line.
14 min Now England have some front foot ball and Brown goes on a foray down the left. It goes back inside then out again and Brown makes more ground down the flank. In it comes, with England just outside the 22.
13 min Now Foley restarts, high and Youngs is tackled hard after a great kick chase from Fardy. His brother Tom charges up to the 22, then the box kick is reclaimed on halfway by Launchbury!
Penalty (Farrell 13) England 3-3 Australia
Tighter than a Jonny Greenwood guitar solo.
12 min England get the penalty at the scrum just in front of the posts as Kepu’s bind slips. This will be bread and butter for Farrell.
11 min Bad news for Australia as Rob Horne goes off holding his arm. Bad news for England as Kurtley Beale is his replacement.
10 min Now we see England attack as Farrell pops it inside with a lovely offload out the tackle and Watson, in off his wing, slices through the middle. They’re up to the 22 and Parling drives on, then they get a very lucky scrum as the ball was just coming back on the Australia side, but Poite decided the ruck had gone on too long.
Updated
9 min Australia take a fully deserved lead. From the restart, Giteau finds a good touch with his clearance 40 metres upfield on the left. It’s good lineout ball as Launchbury taps down...
England can thank their lucky stars to be only 3-0 down...fast Wallaby start
— robert kitson (@robkitson) October 3, 2015
Penalty (Foley 8) England 0-3 Australia
From the 22, a touch left, Bernard Foley is never going to miss that.
6 min Make that 2-1 Australia as it comes back on their side. They move infield and England are penalised for going offside. Advantage Australia so they pick and drive, but England’s defence is solid 10 metres out. Foley cross-kicks for Folau, who wins the jump on the left but knocks on. Back we go for the penalty against Farrell.
Updated
5 min A third scrum already, 1-1 from the first two... this one is reset.
@MartinPengelly @DanLucas86 I can't watch this! Gulp.
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@WriterLiz81) October 3, 2015
4 min Here comes the driving maul. It doesn’t reach the line so Australia whip it left. Folau hits the line and makes the extra man, but he’s tackled brilliantly by Brown and the Australian knocks on before he can give it out to Horne on the overlap. Brown certainly made up for his mistake there.
Updated
3 min From the scrum it’s back to Foley and he spirals an excellent kick into the corner. Oh and a mistake from Brown, who gathers it then steps on to the touchline a moment later. Australia have the five metre lineout...
2 min It went forward so we get the first scrum early on and England get the free-kick. It’s taken quickly and Barritt crashes it up from 12. Youngs box kicks over the top from 40 metres, but no one chases and the ball goes bobbling over the dead ball line. Scrum Australia from back where it was kicked.
PEEEP! Romain Poite blows his whistle and Farrell get this started on a smokey night in London. Genia feeds it back to Giteau under his own posts and the centre clears to Farrell, who is smashed by Hooper and throws his offload into touch just inside the Australian half.
Weirdly, I feel reassured knowing Jimmy’s got England’s back.
Ready here in Dubai. Come on England! #carrythemhome pic.twitter.com/T1IRpT6vU8
— James Anderson (@jimmy9) October 3, 2015
God Save the Queen. Advance Australia Fair. We can’t have it both ways.
The players are out amid all the usual Twickenham lasers, explosions and music. Because you know, 80,000 fans in a do-or-die match aren’t enough for atmosphere.
Our man Rob Kitson is at Twickenham. As anyone who is familiar with Rob Kitson would expect, I guess.
Struggling to remember feeling more uncertainty in the air at Twickenham..going to be a real test of faith (not you Paloma) #ENGvAUS
— robert kitson (@robkitson) October 3, 2015
Re. the Wigglesworth selection, Andrew Kelly has a valid point: “But when has Lancaster ever liked a game changer? Farrell-Burgess-Barritt in the last game wasn’t that far off Flood-Tindall-Noon all those years ago. He’s been an interesting coach, but like most of the other English coaches, he’s always been safety first.”
Yeah that’s fair enough, spark off the bench has never really been his thing otherwise England would no doubt have Danny Cipriani on the bench tonight. But he does like “impact subs” as it were, players who will change the dynamic of the game and offer a different style. That’s what I was getting at.
Updated
As you’re no doubt aware, England were somewhat stung by Will Carling’s criticisms of the team post-Wales debacle. Looks like the former England captain isn’t entirely backing down though.
.@WillCarling tackles England head on and sets the record straight for @AChrisEvans #ItsYourCall #RWC2015 #ENGvAUS https://t.co/FUo5TNhjom
— Heineken (@Heineken) October 3, 2015
Pre-match essential reading III
Graham Henry is less than impressed with this England side. He knows a thing or two, too.
@guardian_sport @DanLucas86 This remembers me something Where the hell is Dany Care ? pic.twitter.com/yxez3Hrwzy
— thetcsonics (@thetcsonics) October 3, 2015
A good question. Wigglesworth has his merits and is a solid, dependable Premiership player. He’s not a game-changer though, which makes Lancaster’s preference for him over Care quite puzzling.
“Hi Dan.” Hi, Robin Hazlehurst. “Whimper. That’s all. My dreams last night were haunted by big men in yellow shirts and now the pub is full of Aussies. I am going to hate the next two hours. Whimper.”
At least you’re in the pub. I’m in an office and resisted the temptation to nip to the bar downstairs during my break. And my housemate is a Welshman. Still, good luck and all that.
Pre-match essential reading II
I’m too nervous even to laugh at Chelsea. Instead I’m going to read the ever-excellent Andy Bull on the remarkable job Michael Cheika has done in his short time as Australia’s coach.
Another email. “Hi Dan,” Hi, Kirsty Harris. “Just going 5.15am here in Melbourne where Hawthorn football club supporters are still celebrating their premiership win in the AFL. I’m up to an early morning cuppa for rehydration purposes before the rugby starts at 6am - daylight savings came in overnight. So there might be a few more viewers...
What can I say about the game. Australia needs to win if I’m to go to work tomorrow as my boss is a Pom and he loves rubbing it in. But I’m predicting a draw.”
Oddly my colleague Gregg Bakowski also predicted a draw earlier. Then again, he did also tell me and Ian McCourt to “keep that rugby talk away from my inbox”, so he might have been guessing.
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Here’s someone who should be preparing for the game, not sitting in a position to tweet about it, for my money.
Who's nervous.... Just asking? #ENGvAUS
— Luther Burrell (@lutherburrell) October 3, 2015
Pre-match essential reading I
Here’s Rob Kitson on the challenge facing Stuart Lancaster and co. tonight. SPOILER ALERT: don’t read the first paragraph if you plan on seeing the movie Everest. I subbed this last night and was not impressed.
With an hour or so to go, let’s talk about injuries and what England do if they get any to the back five. Presumably Watson covers Brown at 15 and Joseph is the replacement wing. But then that would prompt a reshuffle in the centres, with Burgess coming to 12 and Barritt moving out one to 13. And we all know how well that worked out last time. And then if they get a second injury there then there are real problems.
Flanker is a concern too. I’d have kept Haskell on the bench instead of Kruis, as Easter can cover lock. But if Wood or Robshaw goes down then what? Would they be tempted to go for Burgess in his “proper” position at blindside?
“I’m tired of [losing to England],” writes Dave Kalucy. “The Ashes was the last straw. No more, it’s not worth it, no more laurel resting, not big not clever. Allez the wallabies.”
An email! And it seems that (Welshman) Matt Dony is having one of those Homer the Heretic days: “I have Aguero as my fantasy team captain, I bought some fantastically comfortable slippers today, I’ve just finished a chinese takeaway (chicken balls with satay sauce), I have an unopened bottle of Jura, and I’m quietly confident in an Australian win. It’s going to be a good day. I think the teams are fairly evenly matched in the big picture, contrasting strengths and weaknesses, but like you said in your preamble, England just aren’t dealing with the pressure. Looking forward to a Welsh presence in the quarter finals. And it’s not often I’ve been confident in Welsh sport!”
Aguero’s my captain too. Only two of my players played today and I scored 52 points. This should be enough to lift me from 14th (of 21) in the Guardian Sport desk league; watch out, Riach.
Re. that last entry.
@DanLucas86 worse for me ... Welsh with Aussie Missus. Got all the strife to come but no prizes for guessing which flag's pinned to the door
— Ian Hunter (@saltydogashore) October 3, 2015
Really? I’d have expected you two to be a closer couple than most tonight.
As for England fans, lay me down and say something pretty.
Calling Australia* fans
I am not one of you. I admit straight off the bat that I am distinctly the opposite of you tonight. I cannot empathise with whatever is in your hearts right now. So do get in touch, tell me how you’re feeling.
*I guess that includes Wales fans too, tonight.
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Preamble
Evening, folks. Hark back, if you will, to MBM preambles of yesteryear. Or, last Saturday, to be more precise. The talk before England v Wales was of fear, of nerve-shredding tension; we’re not applying 20/20 hindsight and saying we were wrong – far from it – but that pales into insignificance next to the malodorous stuff-inducing terror that every England fan is feeling right now.
Last week it was Wales. With all due respect to them, their magnificent performance and their superhuman resilience, they were a team England expected to beat at Twickenham. Hell, England should have beaten them but... well, we’ve talked plenty about that in the days since. This, though, is Australia: the Rugby Championship winners, possessors of the most thrilling backline in world rugby and arguably the form team in the World Cup. This is Australia with a scrum. England may be the bookies’ favourites, they may be the host nation, they may have spoken ad nauseum this week about how they have no worries, but show me a fan who’s utterly convinced by those words and I’ll show you someone with the bluster of a dozen Jeremy Clarksons.
Speaking of the parochial, I make no apologies for the England-centric focus of this preamble. Yes, I know we have an Australian office now and a lot of Wallaby-supporting readers, but the stakes are far, far higher for the hosts tonight. It’s not quite must-win, but it’s certainly must-not-lose. A draw with a four-try bonus point is the absolute minimum for England: they need three points from this one or a whole lot of Premiership clubs will be getting their players back for the start of the domestic season. For Australia, defeat would mean that their final pool match against Wales is a straight knock-out (assuming England get the five points against Uruguay, which they will), while a win puts them through with a game to spare.
From a neutral perspective, England going out at the first hurdle would be disastrous. The legacy of the 2015 World Cup, the opportunities to attract a wider audience and increase participation in the sport will have been thrown away. Your colleague, friend or relative who asks things like “why are they kicking now after the try?” isn’t going to be joining you down the pub to watch the rest of this tournament. The only neutrals who are looking forward to an England defeat are secondary ticketing agents, and no one wants to see them profit. So, no pressure, England.
Perhaps pressure is what they need. In 2012 the pressure was on from the fans and the press after a bad penalty call from Chris Robshaw helped them to lose against South Africa, before they came back and beat New Zealand in one of the most remarkable performances you’ll ever see. Against Wales they went in calm and relaxed and they got beaten; some anger and belligerence could be just the ticket here.
Australia’s team is the same one that beat Fiji and is pretty much a known quantity. Hooper and Pocock play together in the back row and we know the dangers that they pose – getting the better of Kaino, McCaw and Read as they did in the Rugby Championship decider is a fairly decent demonstration of that. Quick ball – something that should be in greater supply if they can match England at the scrum – and then width on that is the game plan; unlike Wales, they’ll be looking to run around England rather than take it into contact. The Australian camp has been eerily quiet in the lead-up to this, but there has been plenty of talk elsewhere about the legality Joe Marler’s scrimmaging technique and if Romain Poite, tonight’s referee decides he doesn’t like it then Australia could find themselves with a whole load of penalties, too.
I had a conversation with Andy Bull about Stuart Lancaster and his midfield recently. We agreed that he still didn’t have a clue what his best combination was and that it was a real worry. That was at the Christmas party and here we are, 10 months later, at the actual World Cup and there is still a worrying lack of experience there. Perusing Twitter and the comments below the line on our stories, many of you have questions. How badly does Brad Barritt have to play to get dropped? Why is Owen Farrell in the team when England have spent a year building the team around Ford? Why does the bench contain absolutely zero pace and no cover at flanker or in the outside backs? Pertinent questions, all, and perfectly good reasons for the fans to worry.
But let’s be balanced and try to answer them. Ford has gone off the boil ever so slightly in the warm-ups and in his appearances at the tournament so far; perhaps not enough to definitively warrant being dropped, but Farrell, despite his lack of creativity, did the job that was asked of him very very well against Wales, kicking perfectly and defending well. Barritt, after a shocker at 13 in the last match, is pack in position at inside-centre and, without having to babysit the inexperienced Burgess, should be far more comfortable and able to focus on shackling Giteau and Kuridrani. As for the bench... well, as no less an authority than Meat Loaf said, two outta three ain’t bad.
That said, I’m going against, er, all of our writers and reckon Australia will win this by 10. England have dealt woefully with the pressure in this World Cup and it’s only building as we count down to kick-off.
Kick-off is at 8pm BST. That’s an eye-watering 5am in Sydney. The teams are as follows:
England
Mike Brown; Anthony Watson, Jonathan Joseph, Brad Barritt, Jonny May; Owen Farrell, Ben Youngs; Joe Marler, Tom Youngs, Dan Cole, Joe Launchbury, Geoff Parling, Tom Wood, Chris Robshaw, Ben Morgan.
Replacements: Rob Webber, Mako Vunipola, Kieran Brookes, George Kruis, Nick Easter, Richard Wigglesworth, George Ford, Sam Burgess.
Australia
Israel Folau; Adam Ashley-Cooper, Tevita Kuridrani, Matt Giteau, Rob Horne; Bernard Foley, Will Genia; Scott Sio, Stephen Moore, Sekope Kepu; Kane Douglas, Rob Simmons; Scott Fardy, Michael Hooper, David Pocock.
Replacements: Tatafu Polota-Nau, James Slipper, Greg Holmes, Dean Mumm, Ben McCalman, Nick Phipps, Matt Toomua, Kurtley Beale.
Updated
Dan will be here shortly.
