Right, I’m carrying on with this caper, but not here. Ireland are hosting Australia - come join me!
That’s a serious win for England, who were down to 14 men for 76 minutes after Daly’s red card. Argentina had a man sent off of their own with four minutes remaining, and one sense that he will be in more trouble than Daly.
Ben Youngs says that is the most satisfying of England’s 12 wins under Eddie Jones. They can’t have had to dig deeper in many.
Ben Youngs: 'We want to make history & next week we have the opportunity to do that' (Eng need to beat Aus for record-equalling 14th win).
— Alex Spink (@alexspinkmirror) November 26, 2016
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Full time! England 27-14 Argentina
80 min Argentina are back to 14 by the way, with Matera back on the field. This scrum is a mess, unsurprisingly. England go right with the clock red, but knock on and Argentina break through De La Fuente. Argentina aren’t going to put it out, this is the end of the year. But eventually they knock on and thast is that. Extraordinary game, that.
79 min Argentina then knock on on their own 22. Twickenham goes mad as Robshaw is named man of the match.
79 min Argentina go quickly but eventually get a crosskick goes wrong and it goes out. England are going from deep! Joseph has spotted a gap, and boots it, but Argentina mop up.
78 min Care is marshalling England and they go left, but Wood knocks on. Argentina will run it from deep. Landajo half-break, then Isa fully breaks until running into Slade. Argentina go left, and Lezana breaks. England knock on.
76 min Marler took that very well. He knew what he was doing. We have 13 v 13 for the last four minutes. Farrell finds touch and England win the lineout on the right on the 22.
Red card! Pieretto 75! England 27-14 Argentina
What has happened here is that Pieretto has been held by Marler. His boot has found his head. Was it intentional? If so, red. He’s tumbling. But he knows what he’s doing.
Marler has been yellowed for holding.
Pieretto has been sent off for the stamp.
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75 min Slade is on for Brown, who pulled up a little groggily after nearly scoring. England win the lineout and Sinckler carries, then Lawes. Care goes left, then May offloads and Sinckler breaks! Eventually there is an interception as England launch it around but we are going back to look at something. Offside, but something more, maybe? 18 white in the dock for stamping here ... Pieretto the naughty boy.
74 min They have gone miles here Argentina, right down to England’s 22, where May makes a fine tackle. On they go, and they are rewarded with a penalty 10m out. Ref wants to know if there has been a neck roll, though, and Dan Cole is the victim. Penalty reversed. Great coutnerattack ruined by that. Farrell finds touch.
73 min So we have another scrum. Eventually the ball emerges and Argentina break!
Scotland won 43-16 btw.
72 min The scrum is steady and Robshaw is loud. England go right! They come back left and Brown is in space, straightens and swats a couple of men off! He doesn’t quite get to the line but wriggles there. Has he scored?
The question, which is good for England, is “is there any reason why I cannot award the try?” Well, yes there is actually. Brown has knocked on. 5m scrum for Argentina.
Now we are having a look see if an England player - Care - has been tackled off the ball. The answer is no.
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71 min That scrum, of course, gets the reset it deserves.
70 min Wow! Hernandez’s kick off has gone backwards! He’s sliced it and it’s landed in his own half! England scrum.
Try! (May 68) England 27-14 Argentina
69 min Kruis carries well for England and they have an overlap out left! It goes through the hands of Ford, Wood and Joseph, who draws the man and frees May, who streaks home to finish! From 5m in on the left, Farrell cannot convert.
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67 min Eesh. Farrell’s missed again, from out right. That’s an ugly one. Landajo on for Cubelli.
Yellow card! Matera 65! England 22-14 Argentina
66 min From the maul, Argentina are collapsing. England play the advantage - there’s a chip gathered by Joseph then a knock from Ford. But we are going back for the penalty! And there’s a yellow card for Matera!
65 min England win another penalty from the kick-off! Great work from Robshaw, and England find touch, and win the lineout!
Penalty! (Farrell 64) England 22-14 Argentina
38m out, just to the left. Farrell scores and England are eight points clear.
63 min That’s a turnaround! Dan Cole has Argentina on the hop at scrum time and there’s a penalty. That will please Marler and George too. Farrell - is he captain now? - will go for the posts.
62 min Hernandez sends it very high but they knock on as it comes down. Creevy is going off, replaced by Montoya. Pieretto replaces Herrera.
61 min Argentina run left from their own half. A miss pass doesn’t go to hand but is recovered. They go right but that’s a huge tackle from Farrell. On they go.
60 min Hartley missed four tackles there. Another scrum, then. New cast in the front row. I’m going to shock you here - we are resetting.
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59 min Blood falling from Cole’s ear but the ref hasn’t noticed. Better scrum for England, and Ford sends up a huge high bomb which May chases well. But he can only knock on. Good effort from Ford and May. Hartley and Mako off for George and Marler.
Tonga have beaten Italy!
Huge result for Tonga in Padua. They've just beaten Italy – who defeated the Springboks for the first time, last week – by 19-17. What a day
— Rugby World (@Rugbyworldmag) November 26, 2016
58 min Cole back for his first look at a scrum since being binned. Argentina are steady and go right. Kruis tackles Creevy very well as they come up the middle but there is space out left until they knock on! Hartley still out there.
56 min This one’s just inside Argentina’s half and pretty straight, but Farrell sends it to the right. Harrison knocks on the 22 drop-out! Poor from England.
55 min Argentina go up the middle through Creevy, who is everywhere. But they give away another penalty! They will go for goal, again.
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54 min Argentina win the ball and Hernandez sends up a bomb. Brown safely under it and England probe up the right on halfway. Youngs snipes, but is turned over by Creevy.
53 min England claim the kick-off and Youngs boxkicks. Isa naively lets it land and it goes into touch on halfway, much to the crowd’s delight.
Penalty! (Farrell 51) England 19-Argentina 14
This is on the left and 40m out. Farrell sticks it through.
George is coming on, which is fascinating.
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51 min England win the lineout and roll. Lawes has it. There’s an advantage for coming in at the side. And the penalty comes. Farrell is going to go for goal. Jamie George is going to come on for Dylan Hartley ...
50 min Cubelli gets them moving with a quick tap, but after a grubber, Jonny MAy is tackled illegally by Orlando and England win a penalty. Bold tackle from a man who has already spent 10 in the bin. Farrell hammers it into touch on halfway.
49 min Another scrum, then. Argentina win the free-kick.
48 min Cole brings Wood with him, and Sinckler goes. Farrell was playing flanker there. Argentina win the lineout and keep it tight until England knock on.
47 min A clean put-in is handy for England. They win the ball and go right, and Ford tries a chip, but it’s over May’s head and into touch. Dan Cole is back!
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46 min Lawes wins the lineout and England maul. Youngs snipes. Mako carries. Then an Argentina knock on comes. Back to scrums ...
45 min Joseph does well to claim a crosskick but throws a slightly wild offload that England do well to gather. After a boxkick, England bundle Argentina into touch in their own territory. Three minutes left on Cole’s sin bin.
44 min Orlando stretches England on the right, but there’s a knock on and turnover. England go up the left, then Ford kicks deep and Argentina come back.
43 min England’s 13 men are struggling. Argentina barge their way out of the 22, then into England’s half.
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Try! (Cordero 40) England 16-14 Argentina
42 min Argentina rumble out of their 22 after claiming cleanly, then Estelles breaks up the left! Lovely stuff. Cordero, who started it, is there for him, then Cubelli is on his shoulder and Cordero takes it back and runs in easily under the posts. Hernandez converts.
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The second half is underway
Ford gets us going.
A good point from Damian Clarke on Scotland: “Personally, I wouldn’t care if they were wearing Pikachu onesies, as long as they carry on playing like this.”
So, Twickenham. For the first eight or so mins of this half England will be down to 13 men. Daly was red carded and Cole has been binned, so Sinckler has come on for Wood. How will Argentina exploit that? Billy Vunipola is gone too, a leg injury forcing him off to be replaced by Teimana Harrison.
With 12 mins left, Italy the Springbok Slayers are leading Tonga by a point.
Scotland’s kit, by the way, is blooming awful. White with blue stripes isn’t the end of the world but the numbers have a huge great circle around them on the back. Down with sort of thing, it’s not the 90s.
Scotland have scored again, and Davina Dear, who sounds rather like she is in tears, has emailed me to have a moan about Pascal Gaüzère. “He was determined to let Argentina score,” she wails.
Don’t ever change, Twickenham.
Laura Wright singing theme from Gladiator at half-time....
— Tom Hamilton (@tomESPNscrum) November 26, 2016
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What to know how long that half lasted? It was an hour. Mad scenes. One minute after the players leave the field, Scotland kick off the second half against Georgia. The two games started at the same time.
Half-time! England 16-7 Argentina.
Wowzer. What a half. 16-7.
Daly sent-off. A yellow card for each side. Argentina all over England at the scrum.
Try! (Isa 40+7) England 16-7 Argentina
40 min Kyle Sinckler comes on, and Tom Wood has to go off. We’ve had five penalties and are six minutes into over time. Another scrum. Argentina are on the move at this one, but it’s reset! Jeeezzzzuuuussss. 47 mins by the time the ball goes in. Ball is in the middle of this scrum for an age, until Isa picks up and charges! He gets rid of Youngs and Harrison on the way to the line, what an effort!
Twickenham boos as Hernandez converts, which is very boring. He scores.
Updated
Yellow card! (Cole 40) England 16-0 Argentina
40 min We go again. This one is firmer, the advantage comes again! Penalty! Coles is the man binned. Still no penalty try. England down to 13.
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40 min “Let’s go Coley,” roars Robshaw to no avail, as they reset because both packs stand up. Draining work for England’s 14 men, this. Scrum goes down, another penalty. We must be so close to a yellow now. Just a warning again. Scrum again. Clock says 44 mins.
40 min So, another scrum. Another England offside. Isa picks up, they go left and they spoil. But back for the penalty. Ford pinged. Another scrum!
40 min Harrison is packing down at No8. A steady scrum finally. It’s at Isa’s feet but Youngs nips in and is pinged. Penalty, and Orlando is back from the bin. They are going for the scrum again and the clock is red. Card not far off for England.
39 min Vunipola is in real strife. It’s his right leg. Teimana Harrison is coming on as Billy is helped off. They are bringing the cart to make his exit (Vexit) easier. Big applause. The scrum is a mess again and we have another reset.
Scotland 31-11 up at half time and have scored four tries against Georgia.
38 min There’s another palava, another reset. Cubelli looks as depressed by this as I am. Isa carries when it finally comes back. Good work from Youngs. They forwards have it and are edging towards the line. There’s an advantage, and after a Cubelli dart fails, they go back for it. Big Billy Vunipola is down.
36 min This is our first scrum! Of course there’s a palava.
Scotland are thrashing Georgia 31-11 by the way.
35 min It really is right on the 5m line. Creevy finds his man but England defend well and Argentina knock on on the short side.
34 min They go back for that penalty after a very, very long advantage. Hernandez kicks for touch, right down towards the 5m line on the left.
33 min They win this one and spin it left. Joseph tackles brilliantly but they come back right. Chris Robshaw is offside and there’s an advantage. On they rumble through the phases, eight now.
32 min Creevy misses his man, Hartley gathers and England go left. Farrell kicks horribly but gets lucky. It’s another Argentina lineout.
31 min Hartley finds Kruis, Youngs boxkicks long into touch.
30 min There’s a crossfield kick from Argentina deep into England’s 22 which is taken well, but May bundles Estelles into touch!
Try (Penalty try to England 29!) England 16-0 Argentina
Vunipola turns the ball over and runs deep into Argentina territory, sends it to Ford. Robshaw sends it left, where Wood or Joseph has a walk-in, but Orlando slaps down. Penalty try, converted and there’s a yellow card too.
Updated
28 min Cordero gathers off the post and runs from deep. They go into England’s half and up the right!
27 min Right, there’s a tackle from Cubelli on Hartley with no arms that the TMO spots. Argentina have given a heap of penalties. Creevy is spoken to. This is 40m out, and just to the right. Farrell is going to kick for goal. He’s hit the post!
26 min Argentina gather themselves and run from deep. The ball is spilled and Vunipola and Joseph counter.
Updated
25 min Good kickchase from Robshaw, but Argentina steady at the ruck, until Kruis charges down the boxkick!
“Lawes and Joseph are immense so far,” writes Elliott Wilson, who has a hangover so bad that two berocca can’t fix it. Still a better day than your namesake Daly.
Penalty! (Farrell 23) England 9-0 Argentina
Straight through the middle.
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23 min England have another penalty but there’s an advantage. Ford has the ball and he loops to the left but they realise they aren’t going anywhere and the penalty comes. They will kick for goals again. It’s in a veyr similar spot to the last - 30m out on the left.
22 min Farrell finds touch on the left in Argentina’s half. They win the ball and get the rolling maul going.
Here’s that Mike Brown run.
🏃 💨 Brown's back!
— England Rugby (@EnglandRugby) November 26, 2016
Watch LIVE now on @SkySports 2. #CarryThemHome https://t.co/vgLx93Yldk
21 min Argentina go right, then left. Creevy and Matera carrying lots, and Isa charges up the right. But on the ninth phase they don’t release and England win the penalty!
20 min Hartley loses the lineout as Petti spoils. That’s the first England have lost this autumn!
19 min Harley finds Lawes and they maul. Then Youngs goes left through the two Vunipolas, but the ball squirts through and is turned over. Hernandez finds a decent touch.
18 min They win the lineout and kick high. Estelles appears to have taken out May in the air. He lands more safely. What will we see here? The Twickenham crowd are incensed. He lands nicely on one foot. Just a penalty. It’s outcome based, this. He’s landed safely, so there’s no card. Farrell kicks to touch on the right just outside the 22.
17 min Argentina win a free kick at the lineout as England close the gap. They rumble phasily, until a kick deep. May finds Brown and he runs! He doesn’t just run, he runs 50m! He can’t find Billy V and eventually there’s an Argentina lineout.
Updated
16 min Farrell thumps to touch, but they are still not out of their half. Lawes claims the lineout and Youngs hammers it high. May does well and Robshaw appears with the ball and they go left, until Farrell passes behind Brown and into touch on the left.
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15 min Loads of knocks on, and a huge hit from Lawes. Eventually England win a penalty! They loved that.
14 min Kick-off finds Ford, who thumps down field, and into touch on halfway. No fuss. Creevy goes long to Cubelli and Argentina head left. England knock on in the tackle so there’s an advantage.
Penalty! (Farrell 12) England 6-0
13 min Farrell, as he tends to, scores.
Scotladn are 12-5 up at Kilmarnock and Georgia are a man down.
@willis_macp Surprised to see Estelles for Arg. He's quick but doesn't even get in Northampton's dismal side this season
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) November 26, 2016
12 min England win the lineout and maul. They have an advantage for coming in at the side. And we go back for it. It’s 30m out on the left, and Farrell will kick for goal.
11 min What a mess this is ... England nab an interception, then it’s turned over again, and Argentina kick straight out. England lineout in the Argentina half.
10 min England are stretched. May is now on the left wing, with Joseph covering the right. Argentina in a penalty on their 10m line. Hernandez misses touch! Senatore is staying off, with Isa staying on.
Updated
9 min From the 22, England kick to halfway. Youngs kicks high.
Argentina have had three players go off for HIAs in the opening 7 minutes
— Tom Hamilton (@tomESPNscrum) November 26, 2016
8 min Argentina lineout on the 22. Hernandez is back, which is great news. It’s Gonzalez Iglesias, No12, who is going off. De la Fuente stays. They win the lineout and maul. Creevy at its heart. It goes out, Hernandez tries a chip but they are offside.
The Guardian’s man agrees.
Had to go, I'm afraid. England must now play last 75 mins with a man short... #engvarg
— robert kitson (@robkitson) November 26, 2016
7 min Argentina nudge through and Ford comes across to clean up, but keeps the ball in play. Argentina go right, but knock on, and Jonny May wins the ball. England kick back and Cordero knocks through into space, but finally England find touch.
6 min The ball is all over the place here. All over the place. Argentina break through but Billy Vunipola nips that in the bud.
5 min Twickenham crowd boo, but I think that is the right shout from the ref. Argentina kick for touch.
Red card! (Daly 4) England 3-0 Argentina
5 min Kruis gathers the restart this time, and Youngs box kicks high. Ouch! Daly has taken the man out in the air. Could be trouble. Didn’t look nasty (Daly’s eyes are on the ball until the last two steps), but Senatore has been taken out very high, and the England wing has got it all wrong. He’s getting treatment. TMO time. Gotta be yellow, this, at least. Senatore is up again.
IT’S RED! DALY HAS BEEN SENT OFF!
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Penalty! (Farrell 3) England 3-0 Argentina
4 min It’s a simple nudge, and Farrell sends it over.
3 min Hernandez’s second attempt at the kick-off is long and high. Twickenham gets excited as Billy Vunipola goes charging up the middle, then - after a delicious pass from Mako - Jonny May flies down the right. On the sixth phase, by now back in front of the posts, Argentina go off their feet. Juan Martin Hernandez has gone off with a head injury.
Updated
2 min Those phases end when the ball is kicked to Daly, who nails it downfield, and Argentina find touch. England win their lineout and go right, with Daly coming off his wing, and a May grubber going through, which Argentina touch down in goal under pressure from the winger. 22 drop out. Farcical scenes as Hernandez kicks off without the ref’s blessing, and the players aren’t listening. They carry on, but it’s a waste of their time.
1 min Advantage played from that knock-on, which came about because England basically left the ball. Youngs box-kicks to touch, and Argentina get some phases going.
Kick-off!
Hernandez gets us under way. And Argentina immediately knock on.
Anthems. Long old intro to Argentina’s one, during which the coach, Daniel Hourcade, is either yawning heavily or gurning heavily. Take your pick. It’s a belter, that tune. Really is. Then it’s God Save The Queen.
Contact me! On the emails will.macpherson.freelance@theguardian.com or on the twitters @willis_macp. Kick-off in one minute.
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England wearing that blue number they rocked against Fiji last week. It’s got a red cross on the chest, which I’m really not sure about. In my very humble opinion Argentina have the best gears in world rugby. Classic baby blue and white for them. Players wandering out.
Not long til kick-off, not long until anthems, and anthems mean big Argentinian men in floods of proud and joyful tears.
Over on BBC one, they’re building up to Scotland against Georgia in Kilmarnock. Rugby’s the national sport in Georgia, and it sounds like they might be a little peeved not to get a go at Murrayfield. Richie Dixon, the former head coach of Scotland and Georgia, reckons they are at the stage Italy were at pre-Championship introduction in ‘99. Knocking on the door.
Can kick.
Elliot Daly clearing the dead-ball line from about 55 metres out in this week's warm-up. Rocket. pic.twitter.com/B50TBEcTOb
— Charlie Morgan (@CharlieFelix) November 26, 2016
England have made changes from the Fiji win. Two blokes who scored two tries in that game are gone for very different reasons. To some consternation in the West Country and beyond, Semesa Rokoduguni is out, with Jonny May returning. Joe Launchbury has been banned for the last two games of the autumn for a little use of the boot. George Kruis’s return, in that regard, could not be better timed. England do have an embarrassment of riches in the second row. A couple of old hands are back too: Mike Brown at full-back and Tom Wood on t’openside.
Right so England are looking for a 13th straight win, and their 12th under Eddie Jones. Argentina have won just two in 10 and they lost to the Scots last week. Marcelo Bosch, the Saracen and Puma, reckons the loss of Tuculet is a big blow for Los Pumas.
There was an interesting chat with Jones on Sky just there. He says he picks the team as soon as the last game finishes!
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The teams!
You want to know the teams, don’t you. Here you go. Note the change at full-back for Argentina. Tuculet out injured.
Ingerlund: M Brown (Harlequins); J May (Gloucester), J Joseph (Bath), O Farrell (Saracens), E Daly (Wasps); G Ford (England), B Youngs (Leicester); M Vunipola (Saracens), D Hartley (Northampton, capt), D Cole (Leicester), C Lawes (Northampton), G Kruis (Saracens), C Robshaw (Harlequins), T Wood (Northampton), B Vunipola (Saracens).
Replacements: J George, J Marler, K Sinckler, C Ewels, T Harrison, D Care, B Te’o, H Slade
Argentina: S Cordero (Jaguares) ; M Orlando (Jaguares), M Moroni (Jaguares), S González Iglesias (Jaguartes), JP Estelles (Northampton); JM Hernández (Jaguares), T Cubelli (Brumbies); L Noguera Paz (Jaguartes), A Creevy (Jaguares, capt), R Herrara (Jaguares), G Petti Pagadizaval (Jaguares), M Alemanno (Jaguares), P Matera (Jaguares), J Ortega Desio (Jaguares), L Senatore (Jaguares).
Replacements J Montoya, S García Botta, E Pieretto Heiland, F Isa, T Lezana, M Landajo, J de la Fuente, G Ascarate
Preamble
Well hello there, and welcome to another Feast Of Rugby. There’s a veritable truckload of the stuff happening across western Europe today – six (6) belting looking games with intrigue across the rankings (context!!).
First among equals is the game I’m (I’m Will Macpherson, by the way, and you can email me here) here to tell you about on a minute-by-minute basis: England v Argentina at Twickenham, or, as the people who go there call it Twickers. Yeah.
That starts at 2.30 GMT, the same time as Scotland host Six Nations Pretenders Georgia at Fortress Kilmarnock and Italy, fresh from beating the Springboks, play Tonga in Padova, of all places. After that, I’ll be here to talk you through Ireland’s game with the Aussies, while keeping half an eye on Wales against South Africa. In the evening (hopefully I’ll have gone home by then), New Zealand are playing France in Paris. Best of all - and very cleverly, on the RFU’s part - England women are playing Canada at Twickenham, pretty much straight after the men’s game finishes.
So, this one, then. England v Argentina. As Rob Kitson presciently observed in his preview, Eddie Jones knew exactly what he was doing when he said the Pumas were the second best team in the Rugby Championship. It was a swipe at the Aussies, rather than any great flattery of the Argentinians. England play Straya next week. Should be tasty.
Argentina have suffered a late injury BLOW. Full-back Joaquín Tuculet is out, so Santiago Cordero shifts across from the wing, and Juan Pablo Estelles take his place there. England are yet to suffer any late injury BLOWS.
Anyway, this will all be getting going before we know it and I’ll be guiding you through it. In the meantime, why not ignore me and read Kitson’s excellent interview with the Very Admirable Gus Pichot, a man who seems to be spending his life righting significant wrongs. Unlike me, a man who seems to be spending his life writing significant wrongs.
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