England smarten up their act for the Ashes

Does fame affect the players? “When Brett Lee is running in at you,” replies the England captain Andrew Strauss, “you're not thinking about the photo shoot you did a couple of days before” Photograph: Jim Naughten

Kevin Pietersen does not hang around long at the shoot – he has to see his wife, drive his Ferrari and get his beauty sleep. What time will he go to bed then? “Whatever time I want,” he frowns Photograph: Jim Naughten

In-form off-spinner Graeme Swann, being attended to here by the Hugo Boss tailor, is the high-energy clown of the team. “I've always found a direct correlation between being happy and playing better cricket,” he says Photograph: Jim Naughten

Do you ever wonder if they have picked the right bloke, Graham Onions? “Sometimes I do, but I've worked very hard and want to make sure I'm here for a while to come yet” Photograph: Jim Naughten

Chorister, saxophonist and dry wit, opening bat Alastair Cook is not short of confidence. “The world No 1 side is not just going to roll over,” he predicts “but the underdog status will suit us” Photograph: Jim Naughten

“Jimmy likes to think he wears cool clothes,” says Alastair Cook of England's most dangerous fast bowler, James Anderson. “But we all know he's dressed by his wife” Photograph: Jim Naughten

Hard-hitting wicketkeeper Matt Prior, pictured adjusting captain Andrew Strauss's tie, believes the key to the Ashes is taking it to the Australians. “We know the conditions,” he says. “English conditions. We’re at home. Our tracks, our turf. Using that will be a definite advantage” Photograph: Jim Naughten

Durham-born all-rounder Paul Collingwood may look no-nonsense but “he's a lot more vain that a lot of people would suspect,” says Alastair Cook. “Two words: hair straighteners” Photograph: Jim Naughten

A surprise pick against the West Indies, Yorkshire's “big-arsed” all-rounder Tim Bresnan is coping well with any comparisons to Andrew Flintoff: "load of shite, I mean, rubbish that, int'it?” Photograph: Jim Naughten

New boy Ravi Bopara, helped into his suit by the Hugo Boss tailor, is rated by team-mates as the most naturally gifted in the side. “I wasn't really that into Test cricket in 2005,” he says. “It was too boring. Before that series I'd only watch the Test highlights” Photograph: Jim Naughten

With his boy-band looks, 6ft 6in quick Stuart Broad is the teen pin-up of the side. “If he had a pair of breasts, I'd fancy him too,” says an anonymous off-spinner. “But generally I just want to punch him in the face. But you can't reach.” Photograph: Jim Naughten