England's trip to Qatar

"Peter Crouch was surprised at the amount of legroom on his flight to Qatar," cracks David Castle Photograph: n/a

"The Wags jet in, in typical tasteless style," chortles Jason Froggett Photograph: n/a

"Some of the England players were confused when they were told they'd be playing in Qatar," reveals Ian Hudson Photograph: n/a

Ben Johnson reckons England were willing to do anything to bolster their defence Photograph: n/a

Wayne Rooney takes the leading role in Fabio Capello's directorial debut," crackles Chris Jackson. "Sadly a poor supporting cast sees the film bomb at the box office Photograph: n/a

"Despite some initial confusion, the England squad arrived in time for the match," hoots Richard Hooker Photograph: n/a

"Wayne Rooney teams up with a camel in an attempt to keep Brazil at bay. Oh wait ... that's Tom Huddlestone," says discombobulation's Mike Roberts Photograph: n/a

"If you have injuries, if no one else wants to play, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire ... The B-Team," DA-DA-DAAAAHHHHHs David Ellis Photograph: n/a

Dan Higgins has written a pretty thorough caption, so we don't have to. Although we kind of already have Photograph: n/a