The history of English cricket is littered with moments in the field when, almost to the imagined sound of Herb Alpert tootling out Spanish Flea on his trumpet, the car has shipped many of its constituent parts and is careering downhill at a pace.
On the second day at the Adelaide Oval, one that was dominated by Shaun Marsh’s maiden Ashes hundred and capped off by Mitchell Starc’s pinpoint location of Mark Stoneman’s front pad before the rain, the latest such entry came moments from dinner amid a chorus of local derision.
By this stage England were already well aware that their evening was heading for a late blitz under lights from Starc and co. Marsh, aided by the almost fraudulently placed No9, Pat Cummins, had combined for a punishing second session that had seen 103 runs shipped for the loss of one wicket and spirits were understandably low.
But with two balls to go, suddenly a lifter from Chris Woakes took the shoulder of the left-hander’s bat and the pink Kookaburra ballooned up behind. Weary eyes lit up. Alastair Cook at a solitary second slip and the gully, James Vince, were both on to it. The bowler, whose average away from home was continuing to swell, might somehow nab himself a consolation prize.
And yet what followed from England’s first-change was not a sheepish celebration but two arms held out aghast. Cook and Vince had collided in the dive, the right hand of the latter punching the ball from the former’s left to the delight of the Adelaide crowed. This, it is fair to say, was not the scenario envisaged when Joe Root decided to have a bowl five sessions earlier.
Root will doubtless wear that call for some time if this Test match and tour continue on their current trajectories. But, like captains who opt to bat first yet somehow dodge any stigma when their side collapses in a heap, he is still beholden to his players. And three innings into this Ashes series with the ball, the weapons at Root’s disposal look a concern.
England, truth be told (and perhaps most worryingly for Root), bowled better on the second day than the first. And yet despite an early flicker from Stuart Broad with the dismissal of Peter Handscomb third ball, and Jimmy Anderson seeing two lbws overturned on review, the cluster of wickets required never felt like coming once the, ahem, second new ball lost its lacquer.
In fact, where such surges will come from this series is becoming hard to divine, with batsman error appearing the plan with the old ball. Get past the main two and Australia know it gets easier, with Woakes and Craig Overton ever willing but, like most English seamers, the type of bowlers who still need some assistance. Moeen Ali, meanwhile, is simply not right.
The result in Australia’s first innings of 442 for eight declared here was all of the home side’s batsmen got set – at least by number of balls faced – with partnerships forming one after another. England’s attack has been picking up wickets at 52 runs apiece so far and, with Mark Wood perennially injured and Ben Stokes suspended, it remains fast‑medium at best.
Trevor Bayliss naturally insisted after stumps on the second day that his side can indeed create chances out here. But it was the head coach’s follow-up to this statement that was arguably the more revealing, when he added: “There’s no use wishing that someone else is going to come with a click of the fingers. That’s all we’ve got.”
Bayliss, not known to have spent many days watching county cricket, went on to add that pitches in England and the volume of cricket are perhaps not conducive to speed. England have won in Australia before without express bowlers, of course, but on the surfaces witnessed so far, it is starting to look as if the missing element required.
It was at the start of the reply that the difference between the two attacks really struck home as on the hi-def big screen at the Cathedral End, Starc’s initial loosener was clocked at 145.3kph. One ball in, after England’s attack had sent down 894, his was already the fastest delivery of the match.
