England's mounting injury concerns

'"Wish you were here." And by the time we are knocked out in the group stage, we really will.' Phil Barber brings Pink Floyd into it Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Not sure if this makes Ronaldo Xerxes, but Fabio strikes me as a bloke who won't take a backwards step, no matter how many of his men end up lying in bits around his ankles.' Rich Irvine reckons Capello and co should prepare for glory Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'England injury rates hit medieval proportions,' hoots John-Barry Waldron Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Don't touch the sides ... actually, don't touch anything!' Bert Ayers gets extra credit for several neat touches in this Operation-inspired effort, not least the broken heart Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Elite bombardier [former] Captain Becks didn't appreciate being grounded in an Italian hospital.' Joe Reed evokes Joseph Heller's classic Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Injury problem fixed. Just like that.' England's Gunner should visit the armoury, according to Tom Melville Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'England's World Cup preparations are like a game of "round the clock" – it's only a matter of time before another squad member gets the proverbial dart in the back,' titters Mat Dumont Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Nathan Simpson's entry is pretty self-explanatory. 'Broken team, broken dreams!' Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Capello and the FA begin operation "Bubble Wrap the Essentials".' Luke McCarthy is all about protecting your assets Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Adam Harvey's effort follows a similar theme. 'Capello had a cunning idea on how to get a full team to South Africa.' Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Defoe ... Defoe, I saw you. You're alive.' Bob Basi thinks the Zulus are coming Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for England ...' Is that a saucepan on Wayne Rooney's head, Phil Brown? Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'Injury crisis? Squad harmony crisis? JT, Becks and Cashley have a message for Fabio and the nation: You've been Merked!' Will Wilson channels Rio Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'David would have to understand the concept of Official England World Cup Advisory Ambassador himself before he could explain it to the kids.' Philip Gunns kicks Beckham while he's down Photograph: guardian.co.uk

'A hilarious new sitcom. Dr Capello struggles with the foibles of injured superstars and Mr Bridge, who keeps escaping from the psychiatric ward. This summer only!' Simple but effective from Brian Corcoran Photograph: guardian.co.uk