The announcer on the Metropolitan Line sounded appropriately non-plussed. “This train for Wembley Park. Enjoy the match. Might be some goals, I suppose. Maybe Rooney will score. Or not.” It seemed an apt a summation as any of what should have been a joyous celebration of the ease with which England had navigated Group E to make it to their fourth major tournament in a row.
Instead a combination of ennui at the ease of the group, added to fatigued resignation about England’s prospects when they get to France, conspired to rob Roy Hodgson of what should have been a moment of quiet triumph.
Yet Wayne Rooney’s penalty six minutes from time, confidently dispatched in front of a sea of smart phones sent them home in the cosy knowledge they had witnessed history in the making.
Until then, as Wales and Northern Ireland fans gird themselves for further tension to come and the final exhilarating release that must follow, and Iceland erupts in raptures, England’s had greeted qualified success with more of a shrug.
Even the match programme misjudged the mood in proclaiming the clash to be “crunch time”. At least it remained the case for one of England’s number.
When Hodgson substituted Rooney against San Marino, Wembley’s marketing department must have raised a cheer louder than most heard in the national stadium on Tuesday.
As ever, the marvel is less how many empty seats there are at Wembley but how many are filled – in this case by an attendance of 75,751. If hope does not exactly spring eternal then trudging up Olympic Way to witness an underwhelming night of international football remains a hard habit to break.
The attendance would have been lower had it not been for the sea of Switzerland fans taking up a swathe of Wembley’s lower bowl (the neutral section, presumably).
At least Rooney’s quest for Bobby Charlton’s record gave those present something to talk about before Harry Kane injected a note of enthusiasm and the captain topped off the evening on a contented note (not least that we don’t have to talk about “the record” any more).
Whenever Rooney got on the ball, the noise level rose appreciably. The excitement when he nodded a Raheem Sterling cross straight at Yann Sommer early in the second half was the sound of a thousand straws being clutched. Until the endearingly puppy-like Kane scored and Rooney provided a euphoric denouement from the penalty spot, there was precious little else to cheer.
For families, a night out at Wembley as become a good value alternative to the prohibitive expense of a Premier League fixture.
For the gaggles of 20-something lads heading up Olympic Way, some bearing retro Italia 90 replica tops recalling happier times before they were born, it has become a post-work night out. The quality of the football no longer seems to matter too much. Which is perhaps just as well.
The idea of heading for a major tournament on the back of lowered expectations and a more realistic appraisal of England’s place in the footballing firmament might be refreshing, were it not for the fact that we now know how that story ends.
One of the more extraordinary sights of that ill fated sojourn in Brazil was the sight of massed ranks of England fans saluting their departing band of heroes after a dismal 0-0 dead rubber against Costa Rica.
At home the mood was less forgiving and it is worth recalling the restless agitation that accompanied England’s first match of the qualifying campaign, against these same opponents in Basel.
It was the relative ray of hope offered by an assured performance from Jack Wilshere at the base of the diamond and two goals by Danny Welbeck that stifled the sound of blades being sharpened. Since then England have done all that has been asked of them.
Yet in cruising through qualifying, occasionally offering a glimpse of hope through Kane or Sterling but more often failing to quicken the pulse, Hodgson has quelled any talk of mutiny but will likely go into another major tournament with the usual nagging concerns.
From the shallow pool of talent to the lack of a definable playing style and questions over whether they can handle the step up from qualification to tournament football, this is now England. For better, for worse.
In a world where Stoke City can more than afford to sign the Swiss talisman Xherdan Shaqiri, the best performer in a turgid first half, the rules have changed.
In his traditional pre-match speech to the Uefa president, Michel Platini, and other accumulated blazers, the FA chairman, Greg Dyke, trotted out statistics showing that fewer than 30% of Premier League players qualify for the national team – a new low.
For England’s long-suffering fans, the latest exercise in expectation management has already begun. Yet among all that, and despite themselves, they will have joined the queue for the Tube dreaming not of lowered expectations but of their new record goalscorer, of Harry and of St George.
