My daughter, 15, has completely unrealistic ideas about the sort of job she is going to be able to do. After she did work experience at a local shop, she said there was no way she was going to do anything like that and that she was going to be a model. I don't know anything about modelling, but I do know that she is very unlikely to make it. Presumably experience
will show her whether she will or won't succeed as a model, but doesn't she need to knuckle down and get trained for a proper job?
Many teenagers have unrealistic ideas about what they want to do in the future. We all know people who have wanted to be football players or famous people when they were young. The important thing to remember is that young people should be encouraged to have high, and realistic expectations for themselves. High aspirations have driven many people to success.
I'm the Strategic Development Manager for Action for Children's Youth Services. One of the things I often see is young people who do not believe in their potential and have low aspirations. Perhaps you could suggest to your daughter that she begins to do her research into modelling and let her find out for herself what is required.
And, let's not forget that models are required for all sorts of things. As a young student I was asked if I would do some modelling. I was flattered, and said yes. In the end, they only wanted me because I was short, and made the furniture that I was modelling look good – they later told me that the agency always sent six foot tall hunks! I learnt the hard way that modelling was not going to be for me.
When young people research the opportunities for themselves, they gain the information and knowledge to make their own informed decisions. As your daughter explores the possibility of modelling she may realise that she would like to be a photographer or lighting technician for example. All modelling related careers.
Finally, at fifteen the best thing that your daughter can do is get a number of qualifications that will allow her to have a range of options post-16. These will probably be GCSE's or similar. English and maths are important, as you will know.
My family and I live in an area which has high unemployment. Many people work in call centres and there is little skilled work around at all. This isn't good for my children at all. They are now doing AS and A levels - they both want to go to university but I am worried that they will be taking on huge debts which will be hard to pay back. They will have to move away if they want good jobs afterwards but how will they be able to afford that, particularly at the moment when jobs are being cut everywhere?
Your children are studying at an Advanced level and, as you say, have aspirations to go on to study at University. This is extremely promising for them, as there are clear links between higher education and future earning potential.
You are right to point out that student debt is rising, however student loans are one of the cheapest forms of borrowing available and they are only paid back when a person earns enough to be able to make the low repayments. And, if your children decide to go into a profession such as teaching they may even have their loan repaid.
Your children may be able to study at a more local University, which would mean that they could live at home and therefore not incur some of the costs associated with rent and food. Whatever happens, they may wish to balance this with independence and the fun of higher education and living away from home.
You should be proud that your children have decided to stay on at school or college and that they wish to study in higher education. They are still in a minority in the UK and should be encouraged to take the opportunities available to them.
I have been having a lot of trouble with my son over the past five years. He did very badly in his GCSEs – and is now at college doing a Btec in media. He quite openly is only doing this for the EMA (educational maintenance award) and is probably not going to do well at this either. When I say to him it's important that he get an education, he just scoffs. I have a postgraduate degree, yet live on benefits for health reasons and have done for many years. He is angry and contemptuous to me over our poverty, and says he doesn't see the point of education. But what will he do if he doesn't pass any exams?
As you will know, far too many young people leave school without the knowledge, skills, attitude and qualifications that will give them the best possible chance of gaining employment and securing their own future prosperity. We all know the importance of English and Maths to future earnings, but sometimes we forget how important other skills are such as communication, relationship building and use of technology (click here for a recent Guardian article about that issue).
Your son will have his own unique set of skills, many of which employers really want. There are increasingly lots of options open to your son such as apprenticeships which can enable him to earn while he learns in a job.
Here at Action for Children we believe every young person has the opportunity to be successful, it just sometimes takes a little longer to find the right way to engage them. The Connexions service in England or the local authority in your area may be able to help further. And also, if you haven't spoken to your son's school or college yet, please do. The last thing they will want is for your son not to be in education, employment or training.
If you have a question, email Action for Children for advice
