Longtime friends Kayla Johnson and Phoenix Karaka are supporting each other as they return to the Silver Ferns' sphere with babies - but without their partners - and a new appreciation for the load athlete mums bear.
Countless times in their lives, Phoenix Karaka and Kayla Johnson have spilled tears together.
The pair have been close friends since they played netball as schoolgirls at Auckland Girls’ Grammar in the 2000s (in the days when the exceptional defenders were both shooters).
They cried together when they both made the Silver Ferns to play at their first World Cup, in Sydney in 2015. “We were like ‘How the heck did we get here?’,” Karaka laughs.
Then when Johnson (née Cullen) returned home to Auckland, after living in Sydney for two years, with baby daughter Millah, the waterworks switched on again.
“We met up for coffee and I was heavily pregnant, and we both just ended up crying,” Karaka recalls. “It had been ages.”
But Johnson reveals a different reason for her emotion. “I was crying because I was thinking ‘Girl, you are in for a shock…’”
There were tears shed again last week, when they messaged each other after both of their partners headed off to live overseas to play their sport.
Last Thursday, All Black Patrick Tuipulotu left behind Karaka and their daughter, Pāma, to play a rugby season in Japan’s Top League. He won’t be back until the middle of next year.
A week before, Johnson’s league legend husband, Shaun, had flown across the Tasman to join the Warriors at their new base in the Brisbane suburb of Redcliffe for the 2022 NRL season.
“I asked Phee [Karaka] ‘How much did you cry when Pat left?’” Johnson says. “I cried heaps, too, when Shaun left. I feel like I’ve still got baby hormones running through me.”
And they doubt this will be the end of their shared weeping. Both women have found it tough getting their bodies back into top shape after childbirth, juggling their daughters and training, and regaining the mindset of playing netball at the highest level again.
Both Johnson and Karaka have been welcomed back into the Silver Ferns environment, with a week-long camp in a fortnight. It could ultimately lead to their re-inclusion in the Silver Ferns, who need more experienced defenders – especially with vice captain Jane Watson announcing her pregnancy this week.
“The challenge of it is exciting, but being so competitive, we don’t give ourselves credit for what we’re actually doing,” Karaka, 28, says.
“I feel it’s going to be super hard for us both. No doubt I’m going to be coming over to Kayla’s and having a few cries because of how hard it is. It’s nice to have someone there going through the same thing… and as close friends, doing this in the same year.”
We’re on a three-way video call, and Johnson is in the Auckland home she’s just moved into with 15-month-old Millah, and Johnson’s friend and nanny, Julie.
Karaka is sitting in her car outside Pāma’s kōhanga reo. Her mum wasn’t able to pick up Pāma today as she normally would, so Karaka is taking her daughter along to a training session with her Northern Mystics team.
She’d asked head coach Helene Wilson (also a mum) if she could bring along Pāma, who will turn one on Christmas Day. With no shortage of ‘aunties’ to watch over the little girl while Karaka does her fitness tests, it was no problem.
Karaka realises she has to lean heavily on family to help her through this ANZ Premiership season.
“The Mystics have been really good at understanding that this season, while Pat’s away, it going to be trickier, in terms of organisation and stuff like that,” the 30-test circle defender says. “But having family is huge. I don’t think I would have fully committed to a contract if I didn’t have them here.”
Johnson had her first team training back with the Northern Stars this week, able to leave Millah - an energetic little girl - with her live-in nanny.
“My friend Julie was living in Sydney when we were, and she moved back here and needed a job and a place to stay. It worked out perfectly,” Johnson says.
“Millah loves her, she calls her ‘Mummy’. Right now, Millah lives with two mummies, and no daddy.” Johnson and Karaka laugh.
With the constraints of lockdown, 29-year-old Johnson was champing at the bit to train with other people again.
“Motivation is so hard to find training on your own, not having the challenge of others pushing you, which I thrive off because I’m quite competitive. It’s hard to consistently train, and train well,” the 47-test Silver Fern says.
She’s conscious it’s been a while since she played top-tier netball. She left New Zealand after her last ANZ Premiership season with the Stars in 2019, and was immediately roped in as a temporary replacement for the NSW Swifts in Super Netball. Then she fell pregnant.
Earlier this year, she took the court for the South Coast Blaze in the Netball NSW Premier League, but she was “hopeless”.
“I was so unfit, I was only playing a quarter at a time. I don’t even count those games because I was still on a managed load and trying my best not to cark it,” she says.
Johnson and Karaka then laugh themselves to near tears discussing their pelvic floor weaknesses since giving birth, and some unfortunate incidents while jumping, as defenders do.
As athletes who’ve been among the best netballers in the world, both women had expected to regain their game fitness significantly quicker than they have.
“I was so positive I’d be able to bounce back fast. But it’s just been really hard,” Karaka says. “When you start doing fitness it’s okay. But then having to play netball and do netball-specific things – you discover you’ve lost a lot of your balance.
“The knowledge is still there to be able to pass the ball, but it’s almost like watching Pāma trying to pass… I feel really weak.
“And mentally, I push myself then test myself, and I’m not getting the results that I feel I’ve put into training. It’s quite stink.”
Both women look across the Tasman and see former Australian Diamonds Kim Ravaillion and Gretel Bueta back in Super Netball after having their first babies. Shooter Bueta (née Tippett) returned to the Queensland Firebirds just four months after having son, Bobby, in January.
“You see Kim and Gretel and they came back so fast, and you’re like ‘Yes it can be done’,” says Johnson. “But you’re also wondering ‘Why wasn’t my recovery like that?’
“I couldn’t even go for a walk until a month after Millah was born. I still feel like I’m years behind them.”
“But everyone is so different in their recovery,” Karaka reassures Johnson. “I have to appreciate that my body has just given birth to, like, a watermelon, so it’s taking longer to get over that. Now pre-season is starting, I’m just excited to be doing it with other people. Training in isolation is horrible, the hardest part.”
A former Mystics captain, Karaka made a brief return to the ANZ Premiership this year, seven months after having Pāma.
Under a new ‘return to play’ plan - managed by Netball New Zealand and the player’s ANZ Premiership team - she went to team trainings, but also spent time in the gym with the Silver Ferns strength and conditioning trainer and physio to make sure her body was ready for the blitz of elite competition.
She wishes she’d known more about what to expect physically in the lead-up to the birth and afterward. “I was quite fortunate to stumble across a yoga place that had pregnancy physios. But if that was available for all pregnant women, not just athletes, life would be different for a lot of people,” she says.
“We’re working on more support around that with netball, because there are a few more of us having babies, and it encourages us to still have a career.”
Back fulltime with the Mystics this season, Karaka knows she doesn’t have to look far for inspiration and guidance. The woman who took on her Mystics captaincy mantle, Sulu Fitzpatrick, has been there before – as a mother of twins.
“Sulu’s had an up-and-down journey, but to see where she is now is a huge inspiration,” Karaka says. “Kayla and I have gone through some of those experiences with her.
“So now we can say ‘Right, there might be some really crappy parts to our lives, but we can see there’s a greener side’. I know if I need any advice, I can just go to her.”
Johnson admits she didn’t have the appreciation for mothers in sport until she had her daughter. “Now, I’m like wow, how have you guys done this and committed to your sport? It blows my mind. Even though it seems like an impossible task now, it’s nice to know others have gone before us, they’ve done it and succeeded.”
Both women says they have the full support of their partners, even if it’s from a distance. Cue more tears.
“Shaun’s 100 percent supportive,” Johnson says. “He saw how sad I was when I wasn’t playing. Oh my god, I don’t know why I’m crying. [Karaka tears up too].
“I didn’t feel like myself when I wasn’t playing. There was something missing. And I felt like I had to experience that to appreciate what netball has given me, what I took for granted.
“We moved back to New Zealand so we could be with our families and support each other. Then the news was sprung the Warriors would move to Brisbane and be based there. That was a really tough time. But Millah and I are getting into a better routine, and I think we’ll get through it.”
The Kiwi halfback – returning to the Warriors after three seasons with the Cronulla Sharks - told Stuff this week leaving his family behind was the hardest decision he’d ever made. “The silver lining in all of this - I miss my family, I miss my little girl - but knowing that Millah is going to get to watch her mum play and be in the stands and go onto a netball court after a game, it’s all these little things that add up to making this sacrifice worth it,” he said.
Another person supportive of both players returning to the international court is Silver Ferns coach, Dame Noeline Taurua.
The out-of-the-box coach, and mother of five, has introduced a new philosophy embracing mothers returning to the game, helping them before and after their children are born.
In August, she revealed Karaka, Cullen and their Silver Ferns team-mate Katrina Rore were under ‘return to play’ plans (Rore, who had daughter, Lilybud, in May, isn’t ready to return to action yet).
“If the mamas want to play and they are ready to play – even if sometimes you don’t know how to make that comeback – that’s a good start,” Taurua told LockerRoom at the time. “We will put a plan around them and make it work.”
When Karaka and Johnson were invited to the December 15 Silver Ferns camp in Wellington, it gave Karaka something to strive for. But Johnson was surprised to have even been considered.
“I was also surprised that the communication I’ve had with Noels has been so frequent,” she says. “She’s been ringing me every week to check in and see how I am. She definitely understands how hard being a mum is, and how hard it is to get back to playing.”
“I’m almost scared again,” Karaka says of going into camp.
“I haven’t been in that environment since I don’t know how long. Four or five years?” Johnson replies. “I’m probably going to die of shock.”
But neither woman will now take this opportunity for granted.
“The time I have away from Pāma to put into my netball career has got to be 100 percent committed, because that’s time away from family,” Karaka says.
“And I have to make sure I’m recovering properly, because I need to feel good when I’m with my daughter. That plays on my mind too: It’s not just for me, it’s for her, too.”
Adds Johnson: “When you’re being a mum 24/7 with no outlet, it gets draining. It’s nice having my own career, and I’m a lot better mum when I come home, too.”
