My friend Emmy Doye, who has died aged 63 following a cancer diagnosis, was a key figure in movements for equality for women, lesbians and gay men, people living with HIV, and others. A woman with a gift for friendship and a warm, infectious laugh, she was a linchpin of her community in Kentish Town, north London. A trip with Emmy to the local shops would take forever, as she stopped to chat to anyone and everyone.
Emmy was born in London, and was adopted by Hedi Braham, a psychoanalyst and colleague of Anna Freud. Emmy’s early years were wild – she was “asked to leave” Hampstead comprehensive at 13, and had her first daughter, Zoe, at 16. The early 1970s saw Emmy living in a squat in Hackney, east London, discovering feminism, politics and activism. She later trained as a social worker. In the late 70s, Emmy moved to Kentish Town, where she lived for the rest of her life. Her second daughter, Jess, was born in 1978.
Emmy worked first at Compendium in Camden Town, North London, an “alternative” bookshop that nurtured her love of reading – she had a large collection of books that she generously loaned out. She then joined Clash (Central London Action on Sexual Health), supporting young street workers, many of whom were living with HIV at a time when effective treatment was sorely lacking. In the late 80s, Emmy joined the pioneering, and headline-grabbing, Haringey Lesbian and Gay Unit. She served on the board of Camden Lesbian Centre/Black Lesbian Group, and as a trainer at Positively Women. Emmy would travel on the bus with bags of condoms and a plastic penis to Holloway women’s prison, where she ran a popular and entertaining safe-sex programme.
Because of lupus and other health problems, Emmy gave up paid work in the mid-90s. She took up aqua-aerobics and became part of a network of women using Kentish Town baths. There, as always, she formed deep, sustaining friendships.
Emmy had the gift of making those around her feel cherished. She was devoted to her daughters and to her grandchildren, Maia and Max, as well as her chosen family and friends. She was fiercely dedicated to the NHS, who looked after her so well.
She is survived by Zoe, Jess, Maia and Max.
