Emmanuel Adebayor

"If you were the last being on Earth and the only chance to procreate was with a Manu/ET hybrid, would you?" wonders Tom Mitchell, giving us an unwelcome glimpse into his filthy mind. "I would, and I'd put lipstick on it first." Oh, Tom. Photograph: /x

"They told Nicklas the incident was all behind him," snorts Taka Kataoka. "Little did he know..." Photograph: /x

Allan Hooper wants you to know that Lycra is a privilege, not a right. Photograph: x

A touching effort from Koybe Bajona: "No seriously, we're still best pals." Photograph: /x

Ian McGarry reckons Manu and Nicklas's spat should be settled in true Harry Hill fashion: "Handbags at 10 paces? There's only one way to sort this one out ... FIGHT!!!" Photograph: /x

"If it's your first night at Football Club, you have to fight," barks Peter Burch. Photograph: /x

"Will Manu be an Outkast after his little spat with Nicklas?" asks Neil Pollock. And if you thought that was bad, get a load of this little zinger ... Photograph: /x

"Manu strikes up a conversation with a local restaurant owner," giggles Robyn Forrest. "To go ... to go ... To go. Get it? Get i..." Yep, we get it. Photograph: x

"What with his alleged head-butt on Nicklas, I could have gone for Zidane, but everyone likes a comedy Scotsman," muses Tim Zaccheo. Photograph: /x

"One Love at the Emirates? I don't think so," titters Paul Bradley. Photograph: /x

"What a difference four days makes," sighs John Barry. Photograph: /x