The world famous Irish writer and Kimmage native Brendan Behan coined the phrase "to hell or to Kimmage" and you know what, we'd take our chances in hell, thanks.
Here's eight reasons why Kimmage is the greatest dung heap in the whole of Dublin.
1. Nowhere to eat
Be prepared to starve because who would want a humongous fry from Matt The Rashers or a mouth-watering sandwich from Pickles Deli or delicious brunch in The Hungry Duck.
Not us, baby.
2. Nowhere to drink
There's no variety if you want a scoop in Kimmage.
You can go to KCR House Pub for a stunning pint of Guinness; or The Stoneboat for some Sunday lunch and lush or The Four Provinces if you want a modern take on a traditional pub.
See what I mean? You'll go dry.
3. No scenery
All there is in Kimmage is beautiful greenery and parks everywhere.
I wouldn't even get out of bed to visit Eamon Ceannt Park or Lorcan O’Toole Park.
Don't waste your time.
4. No history
Brendan Behan was from here as we mentioned but apart from that, you'll have to go looking very hard to find something else of note.
Sure, Roches Barber - who have been in business for 75 years - had their original shop destroyed by a German bomb in 1941 and moved to Kimmage after.
And Christy Brown - who Daniel Day-Lewis portrayed in the award-winning My Left Foot - grew up here.
Easter Rising leader Joseph Plunkett is a native too and former Republic of Ireland manager and popular football pundit Brian Kerr hails from Kimmage also.
And The Dubliners even sang about Three Lovely Lassies From Kimmage and about getting in a big scrimmage.
But does any of that even count? Hardly.
5. Nowhere to shop
There's only a large SuperValu, hardware store, pharamacies, barbers and nail places near Sundrive Shopping Centre and a Tesco Express on Kimmage Road Lower.
Or if you were after brunch in The Hungry Duck, you're in touching distance of the Ashleaf Shopping Centre but you won't be long in there either.
All it has is just a Dunnes Stores, McDonald's, a Specsavers, Gadget Kiosk, and a Starbucks among other shops.
Boringggggg.
6. Nothing to do
Sorry to tell you but you'll be bored, you're going to be stuck in front of the telly.
Unless these tickle your fancy.
The famous Old County grounds - where you can ping around with a GAA ball or a sliotar - also houses a huge pitch and putt club which will pass a couple of minutes we suppose...
Eamon Ceannt Park has several pieces of equipment for outdoor workouts and there's a Ben Dunne gym too if it's too cold for an outside session.
7. You wouldn't have a family here
Aside from the lack of amenities and poor surroundings, there's not many schools here either to send the childers.
There are only five primary schools: Marist NS; Loreto; Scóil Una Naofa; Gaelscoil Mologa; and Harolds Cross NS.
And three post-primary schools: Rosary College; St Kevin’s and Pearse College.
8. Middle of nowhere
There's no public transport - bus routes 9, 54A, 83, 83A and 150 will get you in and out I suppose...
It takes foreverrrrr to get to the city, take KCR petrol station to George's Street for example.
Driving: roughly around 20 minutes with no traffic.
Public: Transport: 20-30 minutes
Cycling: 15-20 minutes
Walking: 50-60 minutes.
And if you want to break out of Kimmage, the nearest places - Crumlin, Terenure, Templeogue, Perrystown, Drimnagh, Walkinstown, Harold's Cross - are all milessssss away.
Like between a 2-10 minute drive depending on where you're going.
We told you. Kimmage? Sh*tehole.
