Aug. 27--We'll come right out with it: Please don't retire in Chicago. Winter is treacherous. Summer is sweltering and buggy. Public transportation spotty. People can be rude. The list of the city's drawbacks and annoyances goes on.
Now add this: Chicago ranks nearly dead last out of 150 retiree-friendly cities -- although how friendly are you if you rank nearly dead last? -- according to a recent analysis by the personal finance website WalletHub.
The website compared those cities on a range of measures, including cost of living, public hospital rankings, quality of life, and availability of recreational activities. Chicago finished 144th, just ahead of Yonkers, N.Y.; west suburban Aurora; and within spitting distance of dead-last Newark, N.J.
Even Cleveland, at 133rd, outpolled Chicago. Oh, the ignominy.
Where should retirees go? The website's top-rated city was Tampa, Fla. The top 10 list includes the similarly sunny meccas of Orlando, Fla., and Scottsdale, Ariz., as well as relaxed-fit places like Boise, Idaho; Baton Rouge, La.; Sioux Falls, S.D.; and Overland Park, Kan.
We're sure these top 10 cities have much to boast about. And we know that the decision on where to retire hinges on many things, not just sun and sand.
In your dreams even if not within your price range as you mull this First World Problem:
You'll want to be close to an international airport that can deliver you to adventures around the globe.
You'll want access to top-flight entertainment.
You'll want, realistically, terrific hospitals and doctors.
You'll want to be close to grandchildren or other kin.
So why are we encouraging people not to retire here? Simple self-interest:
We're thinking of how to create shorter lines at peak hours for our favorite museums, zoos and theaters.
We're hoping to cut down the wait times for appointments with Chicago's world-class docs, or at its famed hospitals.
All our favorite restaurants are already too crowded and noisy so they don't need another influx of seniors crowding tables and lingering over coffee.
There's way too much traffic on Chicago's streets and expressways already; seniors can be methodical behind the wheel.
And when we arrive at Chicago-area college and university campuses for their astonishing array of cultural, intellectual and athletic events, we often have to circle Old Main six times to find a parking spot. More retirees around Chicago = fewer campus parking spots for us.
The challenge as we see it with those top 10 retiree-friendly cities is that they're filled with a lot of ... retirees.
No, Chicago isn't retirement paradise. But it is one of the liveliest cities on the planet (you'll be retired, not dead).
So go ahead, take a long tour to Peoria, Ariz., or Port St. Lucie, Fla. (also in the top 10). Check out the amenities. See how they stack up against the Goodman and the Field, Jazz Fest and your block party, The Bean and Wrigley Field, Lettuce Entertain You restaurants and Mag Mile shopping, boisterous neighborhoods of every stripe and nationality, the astonishing skyscrapers and the more astonishing lake.
We'll be here when you get back.
